"Dearest Listeners, Station Management Has Informed Me That I Am On The Ballot For The Tumblr Sexyrematch...

"Dearest Listeners, Station management has informed me that I am on the ballot for the Tumblr Sexyrematch... remember, vote correctly."

I haven't posted on Tumblr in auctal years but I must do my patriotic duty and campaign for Cecil Palmer my beloved.

I use Reddit for cute animal pictures and it’s so funny how every now and then someone who doesn’t own a cat just finds one inside their house

reblog to take a bite out of this styrofoam cup nobody can stop you go ahead and do it

convex doodles

Equatorial velvet worm, Peripatidae, Onychophora

Photographed in Panama by squiresk

anyway i’m gonna spam you guys with various unfinished things that I like here’s a vampire au I came up with a little while ago lmao

“you know, I wasn’t even gonna buy it.” scott is saying to grian. “like, I knew it was silver, but equally the price was just ridiculous.”

“you did buy it though.” grian points out. “how much even was it?”

“like, £250.” scott says.

“for that?” grian says, pointing at the little poppy pendant on scott’s necklace.

“i know.” scott nods. “I think I was scammed. there’s not even a gem in here.”

“you think?” grian says. “you’ve been alive for, like, 600 years and you didn’t think to haggle. not to mention that’s literally silver; how are you still wearing it?”

“I like it.” scott shrugs. “besides, it’s not too painful.”

“it shouldn’t be at all painful!” grian exclaims. “just get fake silver, no one can tell the difference.”

“yeah, but this was only in genuine silver.” scott says. “besides i’m sure i’ll have a spare chain lying around, i’ll look later.”

“I swear, lizzie is the only one who cares about safety here.”

at that moment, the door crashes open, lizzie stood panting in the doorway, flapping her arms excitedly at something behind her.

“speak of the devil.” grian says.

“hello.” scott says. “any reason you want to dent my wall?”

“new- new vampire.” lizzie says through breaths. “oh, goodness. I ran here.”

“sit down.” grian says. “and I retract my previous statement. apparently only I care about safety.”

lizzie sinks into a sofa, fanning her face. she glances over at scott. “is that real silver?”

“yup.” scott says.

“that’s silly.” lizzie says. 

“well, i’m gonna get another chain.” scott says.

“still silly.” lizzie says. “that stuff doesn’t mess around.”

“what’s this about silver?” joel is at the door, accompanied by an unfamiliar man.

“scott has a silver necklace.” grian says.

“that’s dumb.” joel says.

“that’s what I said.” lizzie nods. “anyway! new vampire, guys!”

“hey.” the stranger says shyly. 

he’s quite pretty. tall, with honey blonde hair and brown eyes. he looks like a newly turned, not quite old yet. scott can’t seem to take his eyes off him.

“i’m jimmy.” he says. “uh. not.. entirely sure how this whole vampire thing works? um. yeah.” he chuckles awkwardly. scott might be in love.

grian clearly notices (because of course he does) and snorts. scott elbows him.

“he’s just some guy.” 

“and so what is scar?”

scott watches grian’s face turn red with smug satisfaction.

“shut up.”

“guys, introduce yourselves!” lizzie says as joel sits on the sofa next to her.

“i’m grian.” he says. “been around for, uh.. about half a millennia. and i actually care about safety.” he shoots scott a look.

scott rolls his eyes. “i’m scott. i’ve been alive for 617 years. and.. I don’t know, I like poppies.” he shrugs, hoping it’s not obvious how much he’s trying to look casual.

“you know me and lizzie.” joel says. “uh, there are a couple of others but they’re not here today.”

“well, welcome to the club.” grian says. he turns to lizzie. “do we have a name, I can’t remember.”

“I have no idea, I set this up centuries ago.” lizzie says. “if we do I can’t remember it.” 

she looks up to see jimmy still stood awkwardly. “come sit!” she says, patting the sofa on the other side of her. 

“yeah, we don’t bite.” scott grins. “well, not often.”

“oh, don’t tease.” lizzie says, as jimmy sits down tentatively next to her. “he’s kidding.” she tells him. “we don’t even drink blood.”

jimmy frowns. “what do you drink?”

“coconut water.” grian says. “it can be used for emergency blood transfusions—joel found this out for us—and so it’s somehow the same for us as drinking blood.”

jimmy grins, and god damn it, he’s handsome. “wait, so you’re vegan vampires?” 

“I-“ lizzie thinks for a second. “vegan is when you eat only plants, right?” joel nods. “then yes, I suppose so.”

“that’s so funny.” jimmy says. “oh! that’s what you should call this club! ‘vegan vampires’!” he exclaims, and oh, god, it is so cute. 

“I like that.” lizzie says, clicking her fingers. “can we call it that?”

“you made this club.” grian reminds her. “so yeah.”

“awesome!” lizzie beams. “we are now the vegan vampires.”