Come To Me, Pure Consciousness

🧎‍♀️🕯Come to me, pure consciousness 🧎‍♀️🕯

⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅

I was thinking that one of my biggest wishes on my “void state” list is for school to be easy. I mean, man, I’m good, I participate a lot, I get along with a lot of people (so far), I eat well, I have fun, I’m always on time and I always get my grades, I do my oral presentations, which even if they’re not perfect, they’re close to the goal…

But… I’m missing something, I hate school a lot, I only do it out of obligation, but, I hate it. There are things I don’t know, and it frustrates me, I have stage fright, and it frustrates me, I have to get up early, AND I HATE IT!, and, to top it off, my best friend and other friends I made at my previous school, are now in other courses. 😭, do you understand the seriousness of the matter? I’m pretty, but I want make everyone fall in love (except the teachers 🥲).

I want so badly to be the best in the whole Polytechnic, because I'm in one of the most acclaimed Polytechnics and everything, and they are very strict, but, well... Oh! And I also hate singing the national anthem under that strong Caribbean sun that hits us in the face. (I hate the sun, I love singing my anthem.) I also put on my list that I will be in a line where there is shade, because there is shade: that of the older students, but, now it should be the other way around: them in the sun, and us in the shade. 😃

In fact, I spent the whole night crying about it. I'm so stressed, there's so much homework and so many presentations, and I'm a perfectionist and I want to do more than everyone else, which I always end up regretting. 😃😭

Oh... And I also want a handsome boyfriend who looks like Tom Holland. 🙂🥲

the side that's not talked bout much: anxious about their dream life being in the physical world

as many of y'all know, i speak from experience. and many of y'all (including myself a few days ago) probably have wondered, "how are there i am state bloggers who preach about pure consciousness being so 'easy' to induce when they haven't even manifested their dream lives?"

my personal reasons were becuz: 1. i was procrastinatin HEAVY TIME and 2. cuz i was anxious about actually having my dream life in the physical world.

this isn't just to pity this end of the spectrum, but to tell anyone who can relate is that i get it. i know how you feel. you read a lot of success stories and you wonder when will you ever send yours. ik it may seem overwhelming to get that dream life within this very hour, but if you ain't gonna do it now, i'm sure you'd wish you did when things get harder.

you don't deserve to feel insecure about yourself. you don't deserve to live in this house that can be blown down by the wisp of someone's breath. you don't deserve to continue hearing, "we don't have the money," or, "where we're getting the money from?" you don't deserve to have more bed rotting vacations knowing that the sky is the limit for opportunities. you don't deserve to feel sad about your parent/s not being able to buy lil luxuries cuz they got bills, groceries, and gas to worry about. you don't have to be sad about not going to the Maldives, Bora Bora, Jamaica or South Korea for your upcoming birthday. you don't deserve to have another boring Christmas. you don't deserve to look at others for their things and be sad that you don't physically have them, when you can within this very hour. you don't deserve to continue daydreaming about your dream life and becoming disappointed when something unfavourable pops up in this physical world. you don't deserve any of this ❤

but, pleaseee, i am telling you. GET THAT DREAM LIFE!!! YOU'VE PROCRASTINATED LONG ENOUGH!YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, AND DO IT NOWW!! NO MORE LATERS!!

forget the "what if i fail? 😭😣"......okk?? and you're going to take notes and not repeat the same mistakes next time even if you "failed". real failing is completely giving up, and that's NOT what this community is on‼️💪🏽

and honestly, this is also to appreciate @salemlunaa 💞‼️

i felt the need to write this, cuz ik there are persons who can relate to these feelings, and prolly needed a little sign or sumthing. reading @/salemlunaa's posts definitely helped me realise that i don't have to keep pitying myself any longer and i don't need to 🤦🏽‍♀️. my family deserve to live a restful life and so do i. no more procrastinatin 🙅🏽‍♀️

The void state is easy, I'm the difficult one. 😭😭😭😭

Repeat "I am" before sleeping every night to go in the void state. Every. Single. Night.

If you ask me what the hell I do to induce pure consciousness, I wouldn't know what to answer. 🥰

I listen to audios, I claim very little, I assume it's easy, because it is, and... Well, school hasn't left me much to be able to meditate. Oh, that reminds me of how on Sunday I entered the void, only I didn't realize it, and when I went into sleep paralysis I freaked out because previous times I couldn't breathe because of it, but this time I did, but it was too late when I was already wiggling my toes to get out of it.

My face two seconds after realizing it was like:

STOP freaking procrastinating . Stop being desperate . CALM THE FREAKING DOWN . DON'T DOUBT, VOID IS EASY.