Random Crackhead Thought: Cochise County Cowboys Meet Modern Woman Living In The 21st Century And Lose

Random crackhead thought: Cochise County Cowboys meet modern woman living in the 21st century and lose their fucking marbles

That Johnny Ringo part 🤭😉

Hi there. Will you write what Curly Bill and Johnny Ringo are like when they get jealous 🤷‍♀️🤗

Oh my gosh you have no idea how excited this request made me 😂 (ignore this is hella late life has been kicking my ass lately) i also got carried away with Johnny’s but that’s alright

Curly Bill

If you thought this man would stay silent about the matter you are sorely mistaken

The moment he sees any one else catching your attention he is immediately heading over

He doesn’t really have a plan he just knows the outcomes can range from embarrassing the hell out of the poor sod trying to get your attention to a house fire to actual murder (seriously get him a little doped up on opium and he is out for fucking blood)

He just strolls on over, looking like he doesn’t have a care in the world, thumbs tucked in his sash and his spurs clicking with his every step

Gives you that big bright smile full of teeth and eyes glimmering with violence

And just plants one right on your lips. No hello, no warning, just a big ole smack on the lips so hard you literally stumble back a moment and he’s got his arm around your waist to pull you in even closer to him

“Sorry I took so long, doll. Got a little caught up in private affairs.” He croons, ignoring the man entirely, pretending he doesn’t even exist. (He knows the men in this town, he knows that they crave attention more than anything, and he finds it absolutely rewarding to watch their faces deflate when they see you’re taken.)

He’ll keep his hands on you until the man clears his throat, catching both of yours attention, and that’s when the game begins

Brocius is an asshole about it. Unlike Johnny, he uses his words, and will catch the attention of every Cowboy within shouting distance to stake his claim. “Looks like you’ve got something that belongs to me, thank you for keeping them occupied while I tended to business,” his hand travels to the butt of his gun, playing with the hammer in warning

He nearly cackles when the man’s face loses a few shades of color, stuttering over apologies as Brocius leads you away

Johnny Ringo

I hate to admit it but he doesn’t really show his jealousy but lemme explain

Johnny is so secure in himself and your relationship he knows — deep down he knows that you would never try something. You both are so incredibly attuned with each other and your trust knows no bounds

That doesn’t mean that little green dragon doesn’t flare up every now and then

He likes that you both have your own independence (so he can hide the awful things he’s done from you and all your ‘golden glory’ as he calls it) but there’s also a small part of him that wants you all to himself. He wants you so carnally there are days he physically has to stay away from you or else the thoughts in his head are going to push him over the edge just at the sight of you smiling at him

So when this ravenous man sees you talking to some dressed up gentleman at the bar while you went to get a drink he’s immediately going balls to the wall

He won’t show it, but when you give the gentleman a polite smile and make your way back over to him, that’s when he ups the ante

And this man is absolutely sinful

Just as you’re about to sit in your chair next to him, he’ll grab you by your waist and plant you firmly in his lap. And right in view of everyone — and especially Mister Soon-to-be-six-feet-under — plant a hickey right on your neck while his free hand makes work of remapping its way around your body. He presses you so close into his body you can feel the outline of his bullets on his bandoliers through your thick clothing, and try not to look the gentlemen in the eye as Johnny practically manhandles you in plain view

It’s fun for you, to know that you can still rile up the infamous Johnny Ringo, and enjoy the sudden attention even when the man leaves

“That was mean, Johnny,” you tell, taking a sip from his glass

You notice he pays specific attention to your throat as you swallow, not even trying to hide the immense pride he gets at seeing the bruise starting to form. “He’ll get over it.”

HOW THE F U C K AM I SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY AFTER TWO EPISODES OF OBI-WAN KENOBI WITH BABY LEIA, A 501ST VETERAN AND A QUI GON NAME DROP AND THE TEASER FOR THE MANDALORIAN

Just sos you knows, AO3 is down under a DDOS attack right now. They’ve been coming back in little blips and then disappearing again. It’s been several hours. (For reference, it’s currently 3 p.m. eastern, July 10, 2023.)

https://twitter.com/AO3_Status/status/1678468065070030856

The culprit (as with a few other DDOS attacks recently) is Anonymous Sudan, a group that is likely Russian, not Sudanese. The ‘reason’ they gave–that AO3 is “full of disgusting smuts and other LGBTQ+ and NSFW things,” is thin and probably not completely legit, though still legitimately concerning.

The AS claim: https://twitter.com/FalconFeedsio/status/1678397195039526912

Reporting on AS: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-06-28/anonymous-sudan-does-group-behind-microsoft-cyberattack-have-ties-to-russia (you can use archive.ph to get this one, 12ft doesn’t seem to work)

As noted here, https://twitter.com/honeyskeleton/status/1678449598703050769:

DDOS protection is expensive especially for a high traffic site like ao3. And it’s uniquely vulnerable as an independent site without ads or other corporate support. SPECIFICALLY targeted bc of its queer works and yet ppl will still complain every time they ask for donations lmao 

So, again, when AO3 comes back online, please don’t go hard with refreshing all your tabs. Please do remember to download fics you love early and often as  you continue in your whole ~reading journey~. And please do support AO3 through a dono or becoming a donating member, if it is possible for you to do so.

Hi lovely!!!

Can you write a head cannon about how Curly Bill and Johnny Ringo behave when they're jealous seeing the reader flirt with another man. 🙏

Oh my gosh when I tell you I got so excited for this. I hope this isn’t too much like the other one I did previously but there might be some carry over

Curly Bill

He is livid. Absolutely fuming. He hated watching these sad excuses for Cowboys come up and try to win your affection over a drink or a few pretty words, but when you choose to do it? Oooo you’re in for it.

You both had gotten into a fight. It was a silly fight, really, but his pride and your stubbornness refused to let the sleeping dog lie. You couldn’t even remember what the fight was about (a product of the liquor you both consumed that night having a massive part to play in that) but Brocius was refusing to even utter a simple ‘hello’ to you

Alright, two can play at that game

You decide to pick yourself up off the floor and get dressed in your best. If he was going to be furious with you, you were going to make sure you damn well earned it

It started with ignoring him completely as you left camp, letting McMasters help you onto your horse (you knew Brocius liked to reserve that task only for himself, all to his testament that he would be the only gentleman you needed to turn to)

You knew he’d follow you into town sooner or later — he could never stay away from the night life for long, so you made for the saloon you both preferred to frequent

The night is still young, ladies and gentlemen just starting to fill the saloon, and you blatantly ignore the red sashes that filter through the black and gray suits

“More champagne?” The tycoon whose name you’ve already forgotten offers with a smile, chuckling as you raise your glass to him. He was charming, you had to admit. He had something warm in his eyes, but they never compared to the fire that burned in Brocius’s, that spark so devilish you had no choice but to follow in sin

Suddenly you feel a hand on your waist, nearly yanking you out of your chair into the embrace of a warm figure

Your hands find purchase in a familiar red tunic, and you glance up to see the man of the hour himself, looking positively red and furious. (You never knew Brocius could turn such a shade, no matter what attitude you threw his way you’d never seen him even change color)

You take a quick glance between the two men, immediately clocking the tension in the air, and fueled by the stupidity and pettiness of alcohol, you decide to make it worse

You slither out of Brocius's grip, and saddle up right next to the tycoon, a smile on your face all the while. "Good evening, Curly Bill. I see you've met my latest friend. He and I were just discussing the latest improvements to the Oriental. Care to join us?”

His features turn sour (if such a thing was possible, he was looking positively green mere moments ago) tongue rolling over his cheek, and you know you’ve got a long night ahead of you

Johnny Ringo

If you thought Brocius was bad Johnny is a god damn nightmare

Don’t even get me started on the lengths this man would go to when establishing that you belong to him and no one else — even when the two of you weren’t even courting

Johnny always had a watchful eye, even more so when it came to watching you. Even before the both of you began courting, you’d catch him staring in crowded saloons or high up in the boxes of the Bird Cage Theater.

You didn’t mind it. You’d knew about the infamous Johnny Ringo, heard the legends his name carried, saw the way he carried himself. Always on the hunt for something. Head always on a swivel. You wanted to know the mystery behind the man, what life had been conjured up behind those dark eyes of his.

You finally had the chance to meet him one night at the Oriental, chatting with your friends at the bar when he walks past. He locks eyes with yours and instantly your entranced by the quiet outlaw

To save face, you flash him the smallest of smiles (to be polite, you remember telling a friend) and turn back to the giggling mess your friends have turned into

You don’t watch him leave, but you feel a set of eyes on you all night, even as Mayor Behan introduces himself to your little group with that charming smile of his and wicked sense of humor. He offers your group the finest of wines and champagnes, and while your friend indulge themselves in the Mayor’s money, you prefer to keep an eye on the man you can’t stop thinking about

You notice he likes to watch, too. He’s tucked away in his own little dim corner of the bar, puffing at a cigar as he plays a hand of poker with other Cowboys. Every now and then his cigar lights up his features under the brim of his hat, and his gaze is always set to you. Waiting. (You’re not sure what for; you’ve always loved to play Cat and Mouse, and if he was willing to look at you like you’re dripping sin just for him, you were going to made sure he worked for it)

And just like that, a little match sparks an idea

You turn away from the Outlaw entirely, leaning in closer to Behan as he spins a tale about rescuing a poor kitten out of a tree. A few friends of his arrive too, joining your little group as they vouch for him. You hit it off with one of them right away. Cole, his name is, and he makes you laugh nearly as hard as your brothers did when you were kids. He’s a nice little distraction from the Outlaw lurking in the corner — and a perfect motivator.

You never expected your little game to end so soon

Just as Cole reaches for another glass of wine to pour you, a quarter leaps between the both of you, recoiling in shock as a gray outfit squishes between the small space Cole had once filled

You’re completely surprised to see Johnny Ringo, looking as deadly as the Grim Reaper and oozing sin. He orders a shot of whiskey, eyes set directly on you, before adding another glass of champagne to his order. “That is your weapon of choice tonight, am I correct?”

Your cheeks burn with the question. You expected this game to last a little longer, if you were playing a game at all. He seemed to skip all of the pieces on the board and went straight for your king.

It takes you a moment to recover yourself, but Cole is quicker, interjecting until Ringo’s fingers fly to his holsters.

“Best leave us alone, or it’s your body they’ll be parading down these streets in the morning.”

“I don’t remember asking for a white knight in shining armor to come to my rescue, Mister Ringo.” You say, watching Cole storm out of the bar, ears burning red and face a little pale.

He leans in close, invading your space with the presence of him, tipping his hat just so it’s the two of you. “You didn’t. I’m not the knight you read in fantasy books.”

“No?” You tease, hand over your heart in faked shock. “Then what character will you play in mine?”

“The dragon.”

[ i am so sorry y’all this feels so rushed AND ITS SO LATE. life has been kicking me in the butt lately and i so desperately wanted to get this out sooner but my brain pan is currently on fire and there’s no fire extinguisher in the kitchen. let me know if you want to see more! ]