Will There Be A Point At Which The OC Isnt An Insufferable, Horrible, Person? She Didnt Apologize Once.

Will there be a point at which the OC isn’t an insufferable, horrible, person? She didn’t apologize once. She didn’t feel even the least bit guilty, she was just mortified she got caught. And then she still even has the gall to give people attitude and glares when she’s the one who has been treating everyone else horribly??? Frankly, I’m almost on her ex’s side bc I’d never want to be with an entitled, self-centered, heartless person like that either. Being from the city does not make you like that. She’s kind of terrible and I’m not sure how you walk that back to make us as readers invested in anything happening romantically with Wonwoo bc I think most people deserve better than who the character has shown herself to be. She isn’t a heartbroken city girl who just needs to connect with her roots and find love or something… she’s a narcissist who needs therapy

omg 😭😭 first… i’m very sorry the OC came off like that! i think i made her come off a bit too horrible 😭 she does have a redemption arc… but… i guess it rly can be perceived as iffy and you do have a point there 🥲 i’ll do my best to make it better! thank you sm for reading and sharing what you think though! 💐

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

05. he made sense though

🌼 warnings: mentions of a creep, injuries

🌼 word count: ~2.7k

"Y/N!!"

"Delia?? What are you doing back here?"

She shrugs. "I quit."

"What?!" You exclaim.

She looks at you. "Some creep wouldn't stop bothering me," She says lightheartedly, but one look at her expression tells you she's not feeling too great at all. "The doctor wouldn't take action even when she saw it in the flesh. Said something about not ruining our reputation. So I left." She promptly bursts into tears, and you're quick to draw her into a tight hug.

"Oh, god." You murmur. "Okay. It's okay. You're safe now, Dee. Come on in first."

"I'm jobless!" She chokes out a laugh through her tears, as you settle her on your couch. "Amazing, huh?"

"No, don't think like that," You insist, before a bright idea pops into your head. "Work with me. Over here. You like the village, don't you?"

"What? I-I do, but-"

"I don't have a nurse right now," You explain, getting more excited. "I could use the help."

She looks up at you, hope creeping into her face. "Really?"

"Yeah. It would be amazing if you stayed with me," You breathe out.

She squeals and tackles you. Amid her excited ramble of thanks, you catch the hint of relieved laughter

Loud bangs on your door wake you and Delia up.

"What the..." Delia grits out, shoving a pillow over her face. "It's 8am!"

You pull yourself out from the warm covers, and very grumpily, open the door to see Wonwoo. "Come on out," He says. "We have weekly village cleaning on Saturdays."

"It's a weekend!" You exclaim. "Who in their right mind wakes up this early --"

"We do," Wonwoo smirks at your cranky state. "Ten minutes. See you out there."

"See you never," You mutter, and he turns back to you to warn, "You better go get ready. Don't go back to sleep."

"You can't make me."

"Don't make me pull out the megaphone."

You huff and close the door.

He pulls out the megaphone. Right. At. Your. Doorstep.

And so fifteen minutes later, you find yourself in the ugliest neon green vest ever, a broom in your hands, sweeping the streets with a grumpy and groggy Delia by your side. Joshua and Seungkwan come by to say hello to your best friend, and Delia brightens up considerably after Seungkwan compliments her hair.

"He's so charming!" She sighs after they walk away, as you half-heartedly sweep up some dead leaves.

"Mmhmm. Got it." You don't even process her words, only scowling at the annoyingly dapper town chief.

"Y/N! We have a patient!"

You leave your office and to the counter, where you find Wonwoo and one of the grandmas you handled squids with standing together. You bow, and take the grandma's chart for a look.

"Grandma Lee," You read off the paper. "Pain in the elbow, extending to the wrist..."

"She does heavy work by the docks sometimes. You handled squids with her," Wonwoo supplies.

"Okay, got it. Would you come with me? We'll take a look."

Ten minutes, later, after a series of questions and quick presses to the painful areas, you conclude.

"So, you'll probably need a form of therapy," You say. "A few weeks' worth of exercises and physio to relax the surrounding joints and let it heal. It might be because of the constant strain and pulling. I'll get some pain relief for you in the meantime, but don't rely only on it. Healing the injury is key."

Wonwoo nods, and checks to make sure Grandma Lee understands.

"Doctor?" Grandma Lee speaks up.

"Yes?' You turn to her. "Any questions about the treatment?"

"How much would it cost?"

"Ah, your insurance will cover most of it."

"How much would I need to pay?" Grandma Lee looks up at you from her chair.

"It really differs by the number of sessions." You ponder. "But as a ballpark..." You scribble down a rough estimation, and her eyes widen as she sees the figure.

"Oh, that's so expensive!" The lady exclaims. "I wouldn't spend so much money just on my arm. Forget it."

"Grandma-" Wonwoo tries to interrupt.

"There are home-based exercises that we can try out if the cost doesn't work out for you," You attempt to placate her. "However, doing them under guidance is much better so you don't risk getting injured and making it wor-"

"Oh, never mind that," She says impatiently. "I'll just have painkillers."

"Please don't worry. I know medical prices can be very burdensome. We can discuss this further only after you're properly healed," You console. "Right now, the payment isn't my concern. The pain seems to be quite serious in some places--"

Wonwoo takes her arm as she tries to get up. "Grandma, why don't we hear the doctor out and consider it first? She's a professio-"

"Nothing pain medicine can't fix," She complains as you address her.

"Ma'am," You explain. "Injuries aren't always something you can fix with painkillers. If we don't fix the root cause, the pain will persist and it might get worse-"

"Hey, you don't have to scare her-" Wonwoo seems alarmed.

"Do you happen to be... in need of financial aid?" You blurt out in a moment of weakness.

"Hey!" Wonwoo starts, eyes widening.

"What?" Grandma Lee asks, looking offended. "Who do you take me for- I'll have you know, the land I own here is bigger than others! My kid works at a high-end company in Seoul. Do you think, what, I can't afford it?"

"Okay, um..." You blow out a breath, and look back down at your clipboard, clicking your pen shut. "Then...why don't you discuss this with your son first? We can do another consultation and see what we can do once we're all on the same page."

"Fine!" Grandma Lee retorts angrily, before pushing herself up and hobbling out of the room. Wonwoo starts to call for her, but she's already gone. He whirls on you.

"Did you have to?" Wonwoo asks exasperatedly.

"What?" You ask, annoyed.

"Ask about financial aid and all of that shit -- is that really what a doctor should say?"

"I asked because she was being stubborn."

"Stubborn-- have you thought that she maybe doesn't want to bother her family with the fees?" Frustration is laced into Wonwoo's words, his voice slightly louder than before.

"No, I haven't thought about it." You answer angrily, without missing a beat. "And I don't really understand that. She would rather endure the pain than get it resolved, just for her son?"

"Why are you like this?" Wonwoo half-shouts, getting up. "Look...I don't have time for this. You-"

"Neither do I," You say, folding your arms. "And please don't overreact. You're not her legal guardian."

He shoots you a glare, full of hurt and disappointment, before he grits out, "People really don't change so easily, do they." He then turns on his heel and storms out of the room.

Sighing, you return to perusing her chart.

You're still pondering over it that evening, and Delia is about to lose her marbles over your brooding when you get a text from Wonwoo.

"Meet me at the harbour."

When you reach the same spot where you ran into Joshua and Seungkwan and Wonwoo, this time it's just the chief alone. You sit a small distance away from him. "What is it?"

"She called her son earlier," He begins with no preamble. "And he said he wanted to wait a while since he's paying off the kids' school fees and he hasn't gotten his promotion."

You stay quiet. You know about the financial issues patients sometimes face. You've already made your decision to cure her after a long think and consulting with Delia, but you decide to listen anyway.

"We've told you about Grandma Lee." He starts. "And you know how she is. She wouldn't spend money on her treatment because she doesn't want to tell her family and stress them out. Her son has a family to support."

You stay silent, but he says nothing about it. He turns to you fully. "What I'm saying is, I'll pay for her treatment. Just don't tell her it was me. Say... say you had some kind of free treatment or something."

"I can't," You say immediately. "I have to be responsible for anything I do as a doctor. If I'm trying to help her get better, it would be unethical if I didn't inform her of the whole process from treatment to payment, black-and-white."

"Fine," Chief Jeon nods in understanding. "Make up any excuse within your limits. Just don't say it was me."

"Why are you being stubborn on this, too?" You ask softly.

"Grandma Lee raised me," He insists. "We take care of the people we love. She never likes to trouble her son--"

"So she just bears with the pain?" You interrupt, then sigh slightly. "That's a little selfish."

"Selfish?" Wonwoo says exasperatedly. "She's the most selfless woman I know. How could you even say that?"

"Because it's frustrating to watch." You look down at your hands.

"Don't you know anything about sacrifice?" Wonwoo confronts you hotly. "She's sacrificed so many things her whole life--"

"Why are you getting upset?" You retort, becoming just as irate. "Do you know what it means to be a good parent?"

He goes quiet, and so you continue, eyes blazing. "It means taking care of themselves and staying healthy for a long time."

His eyes flick back to yours, anger immediately draining from them. You ignore it and keep going.

"They shouldn't be putting aside their well-being in the name of not burdening their family!" You exhale sharply. "They should care for their own health the most, for the good of themselves and their loved ones. She shouldn't be putting herself through so much pain and letting herself suffer. Don't you get it?"

And with the outburst, you get to your feet and storm off. Wonwoo watches you leave.

Once you get back through the door you pass Delia's closed door, go to your room, and sink into a chair. You hated it, disliked the feeling so much, but something about Grandma Lee just couldn’t tear you away from her case. You rub your eyes in exhaustion.

We take care of the people we love.

It looks like you had a grandma to visit.

"Is anyone home?" You mutter as you enter her front yard the next evening.

"Who's that?" You can hear her voice and her footsteps as she ambles slowly out of her house.

"Oh. It's you," She says as she catches sight of you. You wonder if it's too late to turn back and escape, but you make yourself stay put, and bow to her. "Grandma Lee."

She sighs. "Since you're already here, might as well eat. Have you had dinner?"

As your head shakes no awkwardly, she tuts something about not eating properly before she ushers you into her home, to a seat at her table. You try to refuse, but she waves you away and goes back to her kitchen, and before long you hear the clangs as she makes a tray and sets it before you.

"Go on, eat!" She says as she opens a steaming bowl of soup. "I made these fresh myself, using kimchi we made. Try it."

You murmur a soft thank-you to her before you cautiously take a bite.

It tastes...like what you would have at heaven's gates. Rich and flavourful, the kimchi adds just the right tang of sour and crunch. "It's... really good,” You mumble quietly.

"Oh, that's good. I was afraid it wasn't good, you know. Nowadays, I'm not as agile as before. Bending over and making kimchi gets harder as you age. I ache everywhere after I make it." She chuckles awkwardly, and you smile softly along with her.

"And your arm wouldn't make it easier since it's in pain, right?" You attempt probing a step further, and she sighs and shakes her head. "I guess not."

"Then how could you think just painkillers would solve the problem?" You admonish, no anger in your words, and she smiles sheepishly.

But just like that, the tension eases a little, and you're relieved when she reverts to her slightly chatty self, going on about how doctors should be eating more to keep themselves going.

It feels like your own grandma watching to make sure you ate well, and you're maybe, just probably, starting to understand why Wonwoo adores her so much. Her presence is comforting, like a confidant you could come home to.

After you eat she brings you outside to the yard with some chilled barley. You sit with her on the porch as she tells you childhood stories of Wonwoo and Joshua and Seungkwan, and how they were called The Little Daredevils, and she pauses when she gets to Wonwoo leaving the town for a good three years. You smile at the right places, and look at the way her greying hair (white in some places) blows in the breeze as the sun sets and night falls.

"Ah, that boy," She sighs as she massages her feet and you pour her a cup of barley. "I was worried when he left, you know. And he didn't call anyone back here. He was different when he came back. Not the energetic chief we see now."

You nod awkwardly, remembering your spat with him. "I see. I'm glad he got better, didn't he?"

"He even offered to pay for the treatment!" She says, before shaking her head in fond exasperation. "He's mischievous, but he's a good man."

"...He is," You affirm, rather reluctantly. You cast your eyes down and shake your head as you recall his prior attempts to explain Grandma's situation to you. God, how he would laugh when he found out about this!

"And my son said to hold off on the treatment, so..."

That helps you recall why you're here in the first place.

"Grandma Lee, I came to tell you... come back to the clinic." You mumble.

She looks up, startled at your direct words. "Hm?"

"I might not be able to give you a hundred percent discount," You tug at the hem of your dress nervously. "But... I thought about it, and Wonwoo spoke to me... I wanted to apologise. I should at least try to understand your hardships. So...I won't charge you full price. Maybe just for the consultation."

"Oh..."

"Don't tell anyone, though," You try for a smile. "It can be our secret."

"If it's bad for business, you don't need--" She begins, flustered, but you wave your hands in refusal, face flushing. "It's not that, really."

She waits for you to continue.

"I won't get to see my parents retire and move to a peaceful place," You say quietly. "I won't be able to see them get to your age, or see them make kimchi and cook delicious things. So... I just thought I should try my best to give you more chances to do what you like. You shouldn't be in pain if you want to do it all."

You avoid eye contact, fiddling with your fingers, staring at the glowing lamppost, the peeling green paint of her gate, and the worn-out slippers on her feet, everywhere but at her, as she surveys you for what feels like forever, a mix of curiousity and sympathy laced in her expression.

When she finally reaches out to take your hand and pat it silently and gently with hers, wrinkled and lined with the wisdom of her years, the way grandmas always do, you let her.

She sighs. "Wonwoo really is a nag, isn't he."

The sudden lament coaxes a huff of laughter out of you. "I have to admit he made sense though."

It felt beyond strange to concede to the village chief for once, but when Grandma smiles and continues patting your hand, you couldn't help but think you finally did something right.

Wonwoo leans back, hands behind his head as he lies down on the ground. The red lighthouse glows in the distance and the sound of the waves fill his ears. Your voice fills his head

"Do you know what it means to be a good parent?"

"It means taking care of themselves and staying healthy for a long time."

He blows out a breath. It looked like he had a doctor to visit, and not for medical purposes.

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

🌼 summary: going back to the countryside where you grew up was at the bottom of your list. unexpectedly, your life changes course, and you eventually find your home in weekly village cleaning, the sound of the waves, and with the local jack-of-all-trades, jeon wonwoo.

🌼 pairing: wonwoo x reader fic (fluff, angst, hometown chachacha!inspired)

🌼 genre(s): fluff, mild angst, yn can be mean sometimes at the start (this is inspired by the kdrama hometown cha-cha-cha, so some parts of the plot and characters are similar), wonwoo is an overall sweetheart

ch.05: he made sense though

prev. masterlist. next.

🌼taglist: @gaslysainz @lev1hei1chou

writer's note: soo... i hope she's trying to be better...? hahaha thank you for reading!!

౨ৎ voicemails lee chan leaves you while he’s on tour - fluff (with a pinch of angst), established relationship, gn!reader (pet names used: baby, sweetie)

...one: hi baby, so we just landed. i can't wait to get to the hotel, i'm exhausted. hope you're sleeping well too, i'll call you in the morning. love you

…two: huh, i think i forgot how it feels to sleep without you. i couldn’t fall asleep yesterday, at all. did you, um, did you sleep well? or is it me just overreacting maybe

...three: why did you turn off your location, baby? you're acting suspicious again, and i'm scared. don’t think for a second i forgot about that last prank you pulled

...four: what are you up to today? any plans? make sure to eat before you go out, and text me when you have some time

...five: hi, so this is seungcheol. shut up dino, or i won’t give you the phone back. your boyfriend got a bit, eee, drunk, and he wanted to call you to tell you something. someone hold him back or else. the point is, he was too drunk to dial himself so i had to do it for him. dino come here, and say what you want to say. I LOVE YOUUUU

...six: shit, i was so drunk yesterday. i hope i didn’t say anything embarrassing. i’m sure the boys would stop me if i was about to make a fool out of myself, though (pause) yeah, they definitely wouldn’t stop me

...seven: i checked the weather back home, and it’s so cold. make sure to wear my coat that i left you sweetie, it’s the one that you like so much. if you need any hoodies or sweatshirts you can always borrow mine

...eight: saranghae nunbit

...nine: i never would've imagined a game of monopoly could be that intense

...ten: i miss you a lot, you know? i didn't want to tell you earlier, so you wouldn't think i'm clingy, but i really do miss you. do you think we can talk over face time? i don't want to fall asleep alone tonight

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @aaasia111 @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau @wonootnoot @hellodefthings @dokyeomkyeom

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Jeon’s Anatomy - Part 6

Neurosurgeon!Wonwoo x Pediatric Surgeon!Female Reader (briefly feat. Seventeen, Nu’est, Pristin, Ateez, Itzy, and Hinapia)

Word Count: 4415

Contents: Grey’s Anatomy au, lots of medical talk (tumours, cancer, surgery, chemotherapy), fighting, yelling, insults

You know you’re a kick ass pediatric surgeon, you have no need to prove it to anyone at all, certainly not the ass who runs the Neuro department. Well until you’re forced to work a case with him, anyway.

Cast | Prequels | Introduction | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Epilogue

Keep reading

unsaid, unkept, ugly emotions.

a seventeen vocal unit imagines !

IN WHICH, the uglier side of feeling too much getting more messier than it already is for both parties involved.

(or in which for different reasons, it just seems you aren't meant to be.)

pairing : svt!vocal!unit! x gn!reader, bestfriend!jeonghan, popular!joshua, ???jihoon, fwb(?)seokmin, enemy!seungkwan.

genre : angst, no comfort, everything is messy.

warnings : cussing, messy, heartbreak, contemplation, arguements, miserable people, miscommunication, everyone gets hurt, a lot of unspoken feelings, like emphasis on that you may get annoyed.

author's note : here's my attempt at angsty feelings ( i hope it was done well enough, really i tried but it might not be for me )<3 the potential to turn each into a fic is there but for me it'll be zero ( for now!!!!) kinda nervous to post this haha it's my first svt work but also a first of this kind of work, let me know if you want more of the units! and what you thought of this :) also peep the cute colours contrasting the fic lmao

word count : 2.9k

˖° ✰ ┆JEONGHAN.

The signs that something was wrong were there. For a while now. But you being the problem runner you were, you chose to ignore it.

You also knew one day they’ll catch up to you, and it seemed today was it. 

“Jeonghan?” 

He raised an eyebrow at you. Though it was his name, it sounded so foreign coming from you. 

You who never called him by his full name. It left a sour taste on his tongue as he answered,

“Yes?”

“Do-do you think we’re good?”

Did he think you were good? He was feeling good, great even. But you asked in plural and in the plural it included you. Your relationship.

What was your relationship?

“Uhh…I’m…I think?” 

You smiled at his answer. It didn’t reach your eyes, nor did it hide away the bitterness in them. “You know what I think? I don’t think we’re good. I think- I think it’s all a mess. It’s me, isn’t it? I should have never told you how I felt right?”

There. You ripped the band-aid off right from the wound. You had to, otherwise you knew your heart would be the one shattered, sooner or later, so why wait?

You knew there’d be consequences on confessing to your best friend. You knew there was always a risk to confess but the risk felt higher if it was someone you considered your best friend. A few sentences and it’s either having a stranger who you shared a past with or someone to create more memories for the rest of your time together. 

The issue gets more complicated when you don’t know where you stand. 

He couldn’t answer you, he didn’t know how to answer you. On one side, he wanted to yell at you. Yell at you for regretting confessing when it may have been the one thing he wanted to hear since the day thirteen year old him saw you beat up a guy who was bullying your brother.

On the other hand, he felt the fear consume him of the future, what if you broke up? You would never be the same, no matter what. He didn’t want to lose what he had, so he rather left it unanswered, thinking with time, it’ll fade away. Like everything does.

His feelings for you never did. A wonder how he could think yours would.

Taking a deep breath with your eyes shut,you nodded knowing your answer,

“Alright then I see.”

“Let’s take a break from each other.”

Break of what? You didn’t date, you were in a one-sided love scenario with your best friend. 

Before he could reply, he watched you walk away. Your heart felt heavier when you didn’t hear a single word or even footsteps follow you. 

His mind was the loudest and one thing he was for sure, as you walked away with each step, he could feel his heart slowly crack.

And just like that. It is over. 

・₊ ‹𝟥 ┆JOSHUA.

Perhaps your biggest mistake was wanting someone who everyone wanted. But was it really your mistake because technically you were also part of everyone. 

You could feel his stare burn into your side as you ate the horrible cafeteria food in your college. You could somehow hear his voice, somehow know he was likely calling you to talk.

What went wrong?

Everything you’d answer if he ever asked. It began going downhill when you felt those feelings you knew you didn’t feel around anyone. Certainly when you hung out with Yeonjun or with Jimin, you didn’t feel them. 

You only felt them around him. The weird butterflies, the warm cheeks, the sweaty hands. At first you thought maybe you were actually scared of him, the intimidated type of scared. Who knew it ended up being scared of how you felt for him, how probably no one made you feel the way he did. 

Finally looking up at him, you hid all your emotions as best as you could. You certainly hoped he wouldn’t be able to know. 

But as your gaze fell to the girl beside him, you couldn’t hide them.

Choi Seora, the younger sister of Choi Seungcheol who was Joshua’s best friend since you could know. Well since that time he told you himself he knew the Choi siblings since they were kids. Childhood best friends. Knew them before you.

And she was also the girl who loved him. Anyone could see it from the way her eyes would look at him like the way one would at a treasure they’d been searching for. What she’d do for him, from what you’ve heard, what you’ve seen. There never was a chance.

It seemed as though the sign was already there. How could you compete with someone who knew him longer than you ever would? It’s not a competition if you already know you're losing. 

Your unused hand clenched under the table, nails digging into your palms, leaving crescent marks that would bruise. Perhaps it would be in a similar state to the bruise inside your chest.

It fucking sucked when you could still feel his gaze on you as you turned back to stare at your half eaten bowl of pasta. Well, excuse of a pasta.

Suddenly you felt your phone ring from beside your bowl and you knew who it was before you even looked.Without looking at the name, you moved your hand to the switch off button and shut it off.

You wished there was such a button for emotions. 

“Shua? Who are you calling?” It was empty in the cafeteria and you thought you might just puke out the pasta when you heard her sweetly call out to him as she looked at him with concern.

But for now, you’d do what seemed right. 

Leaving your bowl of uneaten pasta, you grabbed your bag and phone. With one glance at Joshua whose attention was on you but now turned back to Seungcheol and Seora as they said something, you walked away.

The last thing Joshua heard was the sound of the cafe doors closing and when he turned his attention back to what or specifically the one who had been in his mind since the first time he met, he found you were gone.

At that moment, Hong Joshua felt more miserable than he ever did before.

₊✧ ┆JIHOON.

The lump in your throat got bigger as your vision got blurrier. You knew you should have listened to your friends.

Jihoon isn’t the type of person to be in a relationship with, babes, he doesn’t want that commitment stuff.

It’s what Karina had told you when you told her you were in love with him. Head over heels type.

But when it came to you, the determined type, the one who stood their place no matter what. The unwavering pebble in the ever-so drifting waves of the ocean. You believed that perhaps if you tried hard enough, surely the boy would see your efforts.

It wasn’t just a one-sided thing you knew. Otherwise another thing he was known for was being honest. If he didn’t like it, you were sure you’d have stopped. You didn’t think you were insane for thinking he may just like when you saw him smile at you for bringing him coffee. You didn’t think you were insane for thinking he may just reciprocate your feelings when you saw him hiding his face from complementing his work ethics. Perhaps, it was all in your lovesickness you drew these conclusions and many others. 

So where did you mess up?

“Fucking hell! Just leave me alone and stop acting like a clingy partner!” 

That’s what it got you. It was as though the words slapped you in the face. You surely did feel like it when you flinched taking a step back and your cheeks warmed in a mix of embarrassment as well as hurt. It wasn’t the kind of warmth that pleased you, it was the kind that burned you. Harshly so you felt it in your entire body.

Maybe it was your fault after all, you noticed he was having a bad day and you made the effort to go and comfort him. As you did. 

Maybe maybe maybe, always maybe your fault and always yours. 

Maybe you should listen to him then. 

Inhaling with what dignity you had left, picking up the pieces of your heart that seemed shattered the minute he finished the sentence, you glared at him and spat out words laced with an equally venomous tone.

“Fine then! You’re saying it's my fault but you know what, maybe everyone is bloody right about you! You’re nothing but a coward scared of commitment!”

“The day you’ll realize you’re nothing but a coward who gets scared at the mere thought of being in a relationship and pushes someone away because maybe there is a chance you like them, it’ll be too fucking late because guess what? I’m tired of this stupid push and pull game with you,Jihoon.” 

“Goodbye.”

You hated how your voice cracked when you finished speaking. You hated how you could not stop the tears. You especially hated the look on his face as he saw what he did, what his words did.

With what energy you had left in you, you turned around and walked away.

Enough was enough, you couldn’t win over someone’s heart who wasn’t even sure whose hands it should lay in. 

Yet one thing was sure, yours laid in his hands and right then, you sure felt like he crashed it into pieces. 

♡₊˚ ┆ SEOKMIN.

Seokmin glowed like the moon solely rose up to soak in his light, like the stars twinkled off his radiance. Maybe,you just got too close to the sun, enchanted with its brightness, to not realize just how much it could burn you. He was your sun. No actually the sun,stars, moon whatever celestial body existed perhaps dimmed down compared to him. 

You think it messed you up completely when you kissed him in that truth or dare game surrounded by your mutual friends. You think about the stolen kisses, never more, just kisses in between the times you’d pass by in the hallways, pulling him in a cramped space and leaving with flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Again, just kissing. 

Simply put, you were addicted to him. To the way he made you feel. To the way he made you tingle when he kissed you so gently. 

You didn’t want to address the elephant in the room. Or in this case, 

What were you two?

Mingyu asked when you were sitting down in the same circle, just like the first time you’d kissed each other, with the same people. 

You hesitated and then said, uncharacteristically enthusiasm lacing your voice,

“Friends of course! Don't be ridiculous Gyu.”

You didn’t like that word, and it seemed he didn’t either as he looked away,gulping in distaste and a scoff on his face that was usually unnatural for the sunshine like a boy. Seemingly going unnoticed by you but said boy who asked the question noticed and glanced back at you to see if you noticed. He sighed when he saw you not looking at Seokmin but raised an eyebrow as he saw you in a dilemma. 

Right. Friends. Friends who kiss. But still friends…friends?

You tried convincing yourself the rest of that day that adding a label would ruin things. It always does. You should enjoy it while you can, right? It was all in fun?

So why did you feel terribly down when Seokmin refused to talk to you for the rest of the day?

“Seok?” You asked gently and he sighed exhaustingly as he looked at you,

“Please, please don’t…don’t call me that.”

The look of hurt on your face made him hate himself more because why would anyone like to hurt someone they loved?

Before you opened your mouth to speak, he continued,

“I don't think I can do this anymore, this…whatever this is. I am…sorry.”

And without a chance to ask more questions or give any answers, he turned around and walked away.

This was your fault. You hurt him because you couldn’t admit it to yourself that you…that you loved him. 

You loved him more than the universe, you loved him since the day you saw him. You were just scared you'll lose him like the way you lose all your loved ones. You were scared of risks. You were…a coward.

And now it seemed, it was too late to do anything about it.

⠂୨୧ ˚.┆SEUNGKWAN.

Seungkwan and you were fire and water. Milk and lemons. Politicians and caring for the country’s people- Okay too far perhaps and enough of these metaphors of incompatibility to get a point.

You were sworn enemies. Despised each other in the true forms of hate. You hated him so much for the emotions he rose in you that you couldn’t stand him ruining another poor innocent soul with his devious eyes and cunning smile.

Which was exactly what he was doing with the girl wrapped around his left arm, additionally whispering probably lame jokes that made her giggle as though they were the funniest thing on earth. Lee Yuna was her name, you knew her as a cheerleader due to seeing her during your basketball games and also being somewhat acquainted because as a captain, it was apparently in your duty to know everyone especially those involved in the sports sector of your university.

You wish you could cross off knowing Seungkwan but alas, being the midfielder of the boys’ soccer team and the apparent star as well didn’t help in your case. 

“I smell something burning and oh! Would you look at that! It’s an ugly green color too!” Sakura said as she smirked at you, pretending to take a sip of her drink when you directed your glare at her. 

“Fuck. You.” 

“You wish-”

“Oh! hey cap!” A voice said before you could retort to Sakura and you turned to see Vernon smiling at you in greeting. You knew him, of course you knew all of Seungkwan’s little friend group. You frowned at him eyeing him in suspicion. He was Seungkwan’s friend after all.

“Why the frown?” Sakura snorted as he asked you,his attention going to your best friend before she pointed at him and it was as if he understood and nodded.

“Ohhh, I see what’s the matter now.”

“Someone’s” Coughing very fakely, he added, “Jealous.”

Shutting your eyes, you looked at him with a glare enough to make him shut up on his own but still you added,

“Say that again and I’ll-”

“Already giving death threats huh? Maybe you should really go check up on that stick up your ass.” Of fucking course, now is when he decided to show up.

As though his eyes had not been searching for you the moment he stepped in the party. As though he hadn’t noticed you the moment you did. As though it wasn’t just an elaborate plan to rile you up.

You looked at him and fuck. Fuck he made you so angry with how fucking good he looked despite the conditions of the party. His blonde hair shining in the colorful lights and the darn smirk on his face. 

“Kwan. How nice of you to show up! Just the person I was waiting for!” Your sarcasm could be sensed by those around, Sakura’s attempt at hiding her snort and Vernon’s brows raised not going unnoticed. They looked at each other briefly and a knowing look was exchanged.

Here we go again.

“Aw you were waiting for me darling?Hope I wasn’t too late, just got a little busy you see?”

“Clearly.” You said before thinking, the scowl on your face visible and the smugness on his face only grew larger.

“Not fond of me with someone else?” You didn’t even notice how both Vernon and Sakura had left, seemingly only Seungkwan and you, in the midst of drunk teenagers and perhaps lovesick ones, perhaps loners. 

He got closer, closer that made you clench your hands that hung on your sides, leaning down.

“Not fond of me with anyone but you?”

It was as though his voice put you in a trance, or maybe it was how his warm breath tickled your neck. And for the first time in a while you thought of what he said, deeper than you would have ever.

You weren’t sure if you liked the answer. Or what it exactly implied too.

“Stay in your limits Kwan. Don’t fucking- don’t play this shit with me.” You pushed him away as harshly as you could, even if it felt like your hands burned when you thought of what you did. Purposefully ignoring the look in his eyes. Visible hurt and a frown on his face, you turned around, having enough.

“Don’t come after me. Stay with Yuna or whoever, I don’t fucking care.” You don’t know why you said the last sentence. You also don’t want to know why it felt bitter saying it.

With that, you began to walk out, gulping the fresh air that was much needed after being in that suffocating place, suffocating feelings.

As you shut your eyes, you gulped thinking of what you were doing. Why were you so pissed off? 

And maybe you realized, you needed to check on the line that was drawn between Seungkwan and you. Perhaps it’s become too blurry to distinguish it from hatred and love.

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

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