Uhdrienne - Adri 🤍

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

07. producer park

🌼 warnings: alcohol, a secret chat group

🌼 word count: ~2.3k

"Ah, I don't like staying in hospitals," You mumble as you get out of the car that Seungkwan drove over in. You reach in again and pull out the overnight bag that Delia brought after she came back.

"Nicer to be home, huh," Delia smirks as she gets out after you, before skipping on ahead, where Seungkwan's already stopped the engine and is waiting with Wonwoo, who's been unusually quiet on the journey back.

She's far gone before you process that she said 'home'. She already regarded this village as home. Huh. Perhaps it was time you asked yourself the same question.

As you walk on, you see a large group of people huddled near a stall at the edge of the town market. They're unfamiliar, and some of them are carrying large black tripods and rectangular bags on them.

As the four of you walk closer, Seungkwan and Wonwoo's eyebrows slightly furrowing in confusion at the large crowd, a head of dark brown hair, and long, lanky limbs catch your attention. He's bent over a rack of traditional dried squid snacks, animatedly chattering and gesturing about it to the rest of the group surrounding him.

"Chanyeol?" You say out loud as you get within hearing range of the man. Wonwoo, Delia and Seungkwan's heads whip over to you.

Alerted at the call of his name, the man raises his head, and his eyes finally land on you after looking around. "Oh my god, Y/N?!"

"It really is you!"

He excuses himself from his group and hurries over to you. Delia mouths an incredulous "That Chanyeol?!" to you, but quickly plasters a smile onto her face as he comes over to greet you.

"Long time no see, Y/N!" he says, loud and boisterous as he always is, and you can't help but break out in a smile as you respond. "It's so crazy meeting you here. How've you been?"

"I'm doing good! And you?" Chanyeol grins, his handsome features lighting up.

"I'm great! Here on a filming session?" You smile.

"What do you mean great, you just got out of a car accident--" Wonwoo mutters under his breath and Seungkwan elbows him in the ribs. "Ow!" He protests.

Delia grabs Seungkwans's arm, Seungkwan grabs Wonwoo's, and the three of them hightail it out of the way, Wonwoo protesting slightly before you can say anything.

"Funny story how I got here, actually," Chanyeol enthuses, as he waves his film crew on to explore the market on their own. "I was supposed to go to the neighbouring town -- amazing farm plots, I heard! But I took a wrong turn, and--"

"Typical," You groan. "You never did go the right directions back in school."

He bursts out laughing, throwing his head back in his joy. "Gosh, you still remember that?"

Of course you do.

"But yeah, we ended up here! But it's a gorgeous town. Freshly-caught seafood, community spirit, the old traditions all present -- I was thinking this might be a blessing in disguise, it would be a great location for our next show. So we took the wrong turn as a chance for a site recce."

"Wow," You smile. "But this place really is pretty. You should check out the harbour, the lighthouse, and the dock--" You stop yourself.

What are you doing?

Chanyeol doesn't seem to notice your sudden halt, instead opting to smile big and assure you that he'll check the whole town out.

"Right," He suddenly says. "I'm actually glad that you'll be hanging around here, 'cause I'd really like to stick with someone more familiar."

You laugh. "I'm hardly the best person for a guide. I just came a few weeks ago. Not that long ago, to be honest."

He brushes aside your concern. "At least I have a friend here. By the way, do you happen to know a town chief, or a council? We were thinking of discussing with them about filming here. We can get the permits and stuff, but we do need his permission..."

You perk up slightly. "Yeah, I know him. His name is Chief Jeon Wonwoo. I can let him know that you want to see him?"

Chanyeol brightens. "Oh, the guy that was with you earlier? Great! I'll go find him myself, he's right over there." He points, and to your surprise and slight mortification, Wonwoo, Delia, and Seungkwan really are still in the market, far enough to not raise suspicion, but still near enough to see roughly what's going on. The three of them immediately avert eye contact once they spot you both looking in their direction.

You sigh in fond exasperation as Seungkwan starts blabbering excitedly about the dried goods you know for sure he's seen his whole life.

"Yep, that's him, the taller one," You say. "Come on, let's get you introduced."

They hit it off.

Chanyeol's infectious enthusiasm seems to rub off on Wonwoo, and he begins brainstorming with the producer on the materials they'd need for the show. Seungkwan, Delia and you hang behind, making conversation on your own.

"Who's he?" Seungkwan asks curiously, after Chanyeol peels away from the group to get back to his film crew, promising to discuss further with Wonwoo once he'd settled everyone into accommodations for the next few days, and it's just you four again.

"A friend from university," You begin, but Delia snorts with laughter. "You had the biggest crush on him."

You smack her on the arm. "I did not!"

Wonwoo looks down at you, smirking. "Really? Miss Doctor has a crush?"

You flush. "...Used to."

"Oh my god, it was a whole melodrama!" Delia squeals. "Can I tell them? Can I?"

You sigh dramatically at her excitement, but smile and wave at her to go on. "Go ahead. It's all water under the bridge."

And so Delia regales her tale (largely exaggerated, mind you) about your first-ever boyfriend in university, who had later revealed himself to be a Class-A jerk, busying himself with different girls at parties while you studied away for your degree.

Chanyeol, despite being in the same group of friends, had never attended the parties, instead opting to spend his time assisting on film sets and production companies for experience. When he found out about his friend's tendencies, and that you broke up with him, he took it upon himself to become your friend, to make you a little happier.

And soon, that companionship throughout university had developed into a teeny-tiny crush. A really small one. Delia made you sound like some lovesick teenager.

Life had other plans, moving you to Seoul to your very first clinic. You both rarely kept in touch, but you saw him on variety shows, on the credit rolls of reality programmes, and in online articles. He'd grown to become a charismatic and popular TV producer.

You roll your eyes when Delia does a highly inaccurate imitation of your expression while talking with the producer. ("I didn't look like that!" "Did too!")

Seungkwan and Wonwoo seem highly invested, which was fair, you supposed, given that they knew close to nothing about you. Seungkwan gasped like he was watching the climax of a drama.

"And your unrequited love is back in town," He teases, and you barely launch a poorly aimed punch at his arm before he's ducking away, screeching with laughter.

Wonwoo, however, doesn't seem as amused. His face twists at some point in your story, whether out of confusion or irritation... you can't tell.

Wonwoo decides to discuss the possibility of the filming project with the villagers, citing that it would be good for business, and to make the place livelier. It comes as no surprise that it's a unanimous yes, given his position as an unofficial chief and all-around genius.

Giving Chanyeol the good news was worth it to see his reaction -- his huge smile, his excited demeanour as he tells his crew. They're all equally excited, huddling to plan out every detail of the show.

As thanks, Chanyeol decides to treat the crew to drinks and urges you and Wonwoo to come. "You guys made it happen, anyway," He reasons, and Wonwoo seems happy to go. It also happens that you can't resist the pull of alcohol.

Except you get drunk. Really, really, shitfaced, to the point that you know you'll black out once you try to stand.

"Easy there, tiger," Wonwoo groans as he pulls you out of your seat.

"Should I bring her home...?" You hear Chanyeol offer, but Wonwoo's already declining as he adjusts you.

"You literally told us just now that you're bad with directions," He huffs in exertion, as you try and fail to make your spaghetti limbs work. "If I let you bring her alone, she won't get home until tomorrow morning."

"Oh, I'm not that bad..." Chanyeol begins to protest, then sighs. "Yeah, I am that bad. Just let me know when she gets home. You have my number, right?"

And all you remember after that is a blur of him carrying you home, the sensation of a blanket being thrown over you, the dampness of a wet towel on your face, and then the world goes dark.

The next morning is so damn painful.

Your head is spinning and throbbing, and you just feel like jelly. When you stumble into the kitchen for water and painkillers, there's a note on the dining table.

Mrs Woo sells really good hangover soup. When you wake up, let me know so we can go eat.

-J.WW

And call him you do, because hot broth sounds really good right about now.

Twenty minutes later, you see him tapping his foot impatiently outside the restaurant.

"Oh, you take forever to get ready," He leans in and sniffs delicately, before nodding. "At least you don't stink."

"Stink?"

"Do you know how much you drank last night?" He asks incredulously. "You downed so much of the makgeolli, over two bottles of soju mixed with beer, and--"

"Okay, I get it. You're making my head hurt." You mutter, embarrassment creeping up your face. "Can we go eat now?"

He chuckles, and swings the door open. "After you, Miss Doctor."

The steam kisses your face. It's better than anything else in the world right now.

Wonwoo looks on in amusement as you scoop rice and broth and tuck in, sighing in enjoyment. "Good?"

"Yeah." You mumble, your mouth full. "People should come here every day."

"Mhm," He hums in agreement as he picks his spoon up. "Don't talk with your mouth full. Are you heading to the clinic after this?"

"Yeah," You reply after swallowing. "Grandma has her appointment, and I have a few new people coming in."

"You sure you don't wanna take the day off?" He questions. "No offense, but you look awful right now."

"Thanks," You roll your eyes. "Can't. Grandma has an appointment today for her brace, and I've got a few new patients."

"Right. Take it easy, then. Delia can help out, right?"

"Delia took the day off. Said Seungkwan was bringing her out or something."

Wonwoo chokes on his soup.

"Seungkwan found the guts to bring a woman out?" Wonwoo is still in disbelief.

You sigh. "Delia might have nagged him a little. She's firm with what she sets her eyes on."

"No wonder. Seungkwan would never have asked her out otherwise."

As you near the clinic, you see a crowd of villagers gathering near your entrance.

"Did someone make a mess or something?" You wonder as you speed up, Wonwoo matching your pace. Once one villager spots you, the rest start chattering at breakneck speed.

"Y/N! How are you doing?"

"Oh, we heard about the accident--"

"Horrible, the weather must have been--"

"You must've felt so terrible at the hospital, dear," Grandma Lee walks towards you and grips your hands. "Here, this is a traditional root herb supplement. It's bitter, but you must eat it all. Helps with energy and recovery."

You smile a little and accept the small paper bag. "Thanks, Grandma."

She turns to Wonwoo and proceeds to slap his arm. "Ow! Grandma, why--"

"I heard you brought her to the hospital. Why didn't you make her stay home and rest?"

You break out into embarrassed laughter. "I insisted, Grandma. Life has to go on. And... he caught a cold because of me, so..."

"Yeah, where's my supplement, Grandma?" Wonwoo asks with a pout, not unlike a child.

"I only have one, you brat," Grandma Lee hisses, swatting his hand. "You're a big boy. Don't tell me you can't handle a cold." You try and fail to hide your laugh and Wonwoo mock-scowls at you.

One by one, the villagers offer you what they can, from fruits to freshly-made green onion kimchi, telling you to take care and call upon them if anything happens. The grandmas thank you for getting Grandma Lee's brace, and you don't even have the chance to ask how they knew.

But for once, amongst the endless chatter and speculating about the weather during the accident, you finally understand the appeal of staying in a village, surrounded by people you know care for you.

"You didn't tell me Wonwoo brought you home after you got drunk!" Delia screeches once she comes into the house.

You look up from your rice. "What?"

"It's literally all over the-- oh, right."

"All over the what?" You get to your feet. Delia, who's in the middle of pulling something up on her phone, flushes and hides it, but you've already seen part of the screen.

"A chat group-- what is that?"

"I don't know! Swear, I just got added in this morning and Miss Hwang said Wonwoo carried you home and that it looked really cute-"

"What? Hey! Give me that!"

"No!"

Delia breaks into a rendition of the "Wonwoo and Y/N sitting in a tree" joke, and you're about to keel over in embarrassment.

And just then, your phone pings with a text from Wonwoo.

"Did you see the secret chat group?"

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

🌼 summary: going back to the countryside where you grew up was at the bottom of your list. unexpectedly, your life changes course, and you eventually find your home in weekly village cleaning, the sound of the waves, and with the local jack-of-all-trades, jeon wonwoo.

🌼 pairing: wonwoo x reader fic (fluff, angst, hometown chachacha!inspired)

🌼 genre(s): fluff, mild angst, yn can be mean sometimes at the start (this is inspired by the kdrama hometown cha-cha-cha, so some parts of the plot and characters are similar), wonwoo is an overall sweetheart

ch.07: producer park

prev. masterlist. next.

🌼taglist: @gaslysainz @lev1hei1chou @mingycr

writer's note: a short update for noww~~

svt with a s/o who loves cooking/ baking | ot13

the ones that cannot cook to save their life - pulling you was the best thing to happen in their life: 

𐙚🧸ྀི wonwoo, vernon, chan, hoshi

in their eyes you're the coolest person alive - how are you able to cook and bake so well is a mystery for them. nonetheless, they’d love to accompany you whenever you’d be cooking/ baking, even if they’d just be watching, while having this cute lovestruck gaze that’d follow your every move. even though they wouldn't help much with the cooking/baking, they would take care of taking away the dirty dishes and washing them, or wiping the countertops if they got dirty, so as not to be completely useless (even though having them, even if they’d just be watching, would be more than enough for you). if you ever baked something, they’d probably take it to practice too, and if anyone would ask them what they were eating, they’d shyly mention that you made it.

his cooking skills are okay-ish, he won’t burn the kitchen down (the food somehow always end up being ass): 

𐙚🧸ྀི jeonghan, joshua, woozi, minghao, seungkwan 

having a partner who can cook and bake so well feels like such a blessing for them. they’d always inhale the food you made, and mention every other second how great it was, and that they have never anything as good as this (they say that anytime you cook/bake something). they'd be a bit hesitant to help you out, worried they might mess something up, but with your encouragement, and directions on what they’re supposed to do, they’d get the hang of it very quickly, and you’d end up having such a fun time. if they took the lunch or snacks you prepared for them to practice, they'd go around and tell people that you made it and that they miss out on so much good food (if anyone asked them for a bite of the food, they’d side eye them and walk away).

the ones that would love to cook alongside you, they wouldn’t burn the kitchen, and the food would be edible: 

𐙚🧸ྀི coups, jun, dk, mingyu

cooking together equals date nights, they’d never miss out on spending quality time with you, and the fact that food is involved? they’re in heaven. you’d have the best time talking, messing around, probably making fun of each other from time to time for messing something up. it’d be so domestic, and they only word you’d be able to describe it as would be home. yep, that’s what home feels like. i’d be a bit hesitant when it comes to baking, though. they’d be like: fuck the proportions, let’s freestyle, and it’d just end up in a huge disaster (i still have nightmares from nana tour, when mingyu wasn’t able to whisk the eggs, my slavic ass is sweating). you can be sure the food would be inhaled by them in less than ten seconds, because if there’s something they love more than cooking with you, it’s eating what you have prepared. 

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee @rosiesauriostuff @gyuguys @aaasia111 @tomodachiii @veryfabday @lilmochiandsuga @asasilentreader @mrsnervous @bewoyewo @sharonxdevi @wondipity @gyuguys @raginghellfire @treehouse-mouse @waldau @wonootnoot @hellodefthings @dokyeomkyeom @sourkimchi @bbysnw @haneulparadx @zozojella @hoichi02

BE THE STAR OF YOUR OWN SHOW.

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how seventeen react to their s/o's baby photos

notes: ive been choosing baby photos for our school yearbook cz it's the end of the year and it had me thinking.... what if i made this a svt hc??

masterlist

seungcheol, jeonghan, hoshi

eyes are positively gleaming at the chance to see your embarrassing moments when your parents bring up ur baby photos when he's visiting one day. he is so very ready to make fun of you for how ridiculous you looked as a baby. only, that all gets forgotten when he's shown the first picture and his jaw drops open because???? you were so cute wtf????? how is this even possible omg you were the cutest baby he's ever seen. all thoughts of blackmail are gone from his head. he's just in awe over how you've stayed so CUTE over the years

joshua, woozi, vernon, chan

finds you absolutely adorable no matter what. every picture that gets placed in front of him, he's instantly smiling and pointing out your chubby cheeks and saying that you're the cutest little bean he's ever laid his eyes on. you could be screaming and throwing the biggest tantrum in the photo and he'll still giggle and say you're soooo so adorable. is he ridiculously, horribly in love with you? yeah. and he knows it. doesn't stop him from steadfastly believing you were the cutest baby ever tho

junhui, dokyeom, mingyu

giggles at all your demented baby photos. your parents were the kind that took photos of every single memory during your childhood, so there are many of you with your face screwed up into a temper tantrum or with food all over your face or when you're drooling all over yourself whilst u were teething. you find it embarrassing, but this guy thinks that it's soooo unbelievably cute. keeps giggling like he's gone insane. is, weirdly, especially attached to that one picture of u trying to gnaw off your grandma's hand with your toothless gums

wonwoo, minghao, seungkwan

he always had a feeling that u were cute when you were a baby, and on the day that your parents busted out the childhood photos, his feelings were confirmed. good lord, you were such an adorable baby that he can't help but smile with such ridiculous fondness down at the photos before looking over at you again, pinching your cheeks and saying that you're still as cute as you were back then. very seriously asks ur parents if they can send him copies of the baby photos that he likes the most so he can keep them for himself

PLEASE REMEMBER TO REBLOG <3

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reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @kikohao @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @dokyeomkyeom @kikohao

unsaid, unkept, ugly emotions.

a seventeen vocal unit imagines !

IN WHICH, the uglier side of feeling too much getting more messier than it already is for both parties involved.

(or in which for different reasons, it just seems you aren't meant to be.)

pairing : svt!vocal!unit! x gn!reader, bestfriend!jeonghan, popular!joshua, ???jihoon, fwb(?)seokmin, enemy!seungkwan.

genre : angst, no comfort, everything is messy.

warnings : cussing, messy, heartbreak, contemplation, arguements, miserable people, miscommunication, everyone gets hurt, a lot of unspoken feelings, like emphasis on that you may get annoyed.

author's note : here's my attempt at angsty feelings ( i hope it was done well enough, really i tried but it might not be for me )<3 the potential to turn each into a fic is there but for me it'll be zero ( for now!!!!) kinda nervous to post this haha it's my first svt work but also a first of this kind of work, let me know if you want more of the units! and what you thought of this :) also peep the cute colours contrasting the fic lmao

word count : 2.9k

˖° ✰ ┆JEONGHAN.

The signs that something was wrong were there. For a while now. But you being the problem runner you were, you chose to ignore it.

You also knew one day they’ll catch up to you, and it seemed today was it. 

“Jeonghan?” 

He raised an eyebrow at you. Though it was his name, it sounded so foreign coming from you. 

You who never called him by his full name. It left a sour taste on his tongue as he answered,

“Yes?”

“Do-do you think we’re good?”

Did he think you were good? He was feeling good, great even. But you asked in plural and in the plural it included you. Your relationship.

What was your relationship?

“Uhh…I’m…I think?” 

You smiled at his answer. It didn’t reach your eyes, nor did it hide away the bitterness in them. “You know what I think? I don’t think we’re good. I think- I think it’s all a mess. It’s me, isn’t it? I should have never told you how I felt right?”

There. You ripped the band-aid off right from the wound. You had to, otherwise you knew your heart would be the one shattered, sooner or later, so why wait?

You knew there’d be consequences on confessing to your best friend. You knew there was always a risk to confess but the risk felt higher if it was someone you considered your best friend. A few sentences and it’s either having a stranger who you shared a past with or someone to create more memories for the rest of your time together. 

The issue gets more complicated when you don’t know where you stand. 

He couldn’t answer you, he didn’t know how to answer you. On one side, he wanted to yell at you. Yell at you for regretting confessing when it may have been the one thing he wanted to hear since the day thirteen year old him saw you beat up a guy who was bullying your brother.

On the other hand, he felt the fear consume him of the future, what if you broke up? You would never be the same, no matter what. He didn’t want to lose what he had, so he rather left it unanswered, thinking with time, it’ll fade away. Like everything does.

His feelings for you never did. A wonder how he could think yours would.

Taking a deep breath with your eyes shut,you nodded knowing your answer,

“Alright then I see.”

“Let’s take a break from each other.”

Break of what? You didn’t date, you were in a one-sided love scenario with your best friend. 

Before he could reply, he watched you walk away. Your heart felt heavier when you didn’t hear a single word or even footsteps follow you. 

His mind was the loudest and one thing he was for sure, as you walked away with each step, he could feel his heart slowly crack.

And just like that. It is over. 

・₊ ‹𝟥 ┆JOSHUA.

Perhaps your biggest mistake was wanting someone who everyone wanted. But was it really your mistake because technically you were also part of everyone. 

You could feel his stare burn into your side as you ate the horrible cafeteria food in your college. You could somehow hear his voice, somehow know he was likely calling you to talk.

What went wrong?

Everything you’d answer if he ever asked. It began going downhill when you felt those feelings you knew you didn’t feel around anyone. Certainly when you hung out with Yeonjun or with Jimin, you didn’t feel them. 

You only felt them around him. The weird butterflies, the warm cheeks, the sweaty hands. At first you thought maybe you were actually scared of him, the intimidated type of scared. Who knew it ended up being scared of how you felt for him, how probably no one made you feel the way he did. 

Finally looking up at him, you hid all your emotions as best as you could. You certainly hoped he wouldn’t be able to know. 

But as your gaze fell to the girl beside him, you couldn’t hide them.

Choi Seora, the younger sister of Choi Seungcheol who was Joshua’s best friend since you could know. Well since that time he told you himself he knew the Choi siblings since they were kids. Childhood best friends. Knew them before you.

And she was also the girl who loved him. Anyone could see it from the way her eyes would look at him like the way one would at a treasure they’d been searching for. What she’d do for him, from what you’ve heard, what you’ve seen. There never was a chance.

It seemed as though the sign was already there. How could you compete with someone who knew him longer than you ever would? It’s not a competition if you already know you're losing. 

Your unused hand clenched under the table, nails digging into your palms, leaving crescent marks that would bruise. Perhaps it would be in a similar state to the bruise inside your chest.

It fucking sucked when you could still feel his gaze on you as you turned back to stare at your half eaten bowl of pasta. Well, excuse of a pasta.

Suddenly you felt your phone ring from beside your bowl and you knew who it was before you even looked.Without looking at the name, you moved your hand to the switch off button and shut it off.

You wished there was such a button for emotions. 

“Shua? Who are you calling?” It was empty in the cafeteria and you thought you might just puke out the pasta when you heard her sweetly call out to him as she looked at him with concern.

But for now, you’d do what seemed right. 

Leaving your bowl of uneaten pasta, you grabbed your bag and phone. With one glance at Joshua whose attention was on you but now turned back to Seungcheol and Seora as they said something, you walked away.

The last thing Joshua heard was the sound of the cafe doors closing and when he turned his attention back to what or specifically the one who had been in his mind since the first time he met, he found you were gone.

At that moment, Hong Joshua felt more miserable than he ever did before.

₊✧ ┆JIHOON.

The lump in your throat got bigger as your vision got blurrier. You knew you should have listened to your friends.

Jihoon isn’t the type of person to be in a relationship with, babes, he doesn’t want that commitment stuff.

It’s what Karina had told you when you told her you were in love with him. Head over heels type.

But when it came to you, the determined type, the one who stood their place no matter what. The unwavering pebble in the ever-so drifting waves of the ocean. You believed that perhaps if you tried hard enough, surely the boy would see your efforts.

It wasn’t just a one-sided thing you knew. Otherwise another thing he was known for was being honest. If he didn’t like it, you were sure you’d have stopped. You didn’t think you were insane for thinking he may just like when you saw him smile at you for bringing him coffee. You didn’t think you were insane for thinking he may just reciprocate your feelings when you saw him hiding his face from complementing his work ethics. Perhaps, it was all in your lovesickness you drew these conclusions and many others. 

So where did you mess up?

“Fucking hell! Just leave me alone and stop acting like a clingy partner!” 

That’s what it got you. It was as though the words slapped you in the face. You surely did feel like it when you flinched taking a step back and your cheeks warmed in a mix of embarrassment as well as hurt. It wasn’t the kind of warmth that pleased you, it was the kind that burned you. Harshly so you felt it in your entire body.

Maybe it was your fault after all, you noticed he was having a bad day and you made the effort to go and comfort him. As you did. 

Maybe maybe maybe, always maybe your fault and always yours. 

Maybe you should listen to him then. 

Inhaling with what dignity you had left, picking up the pieces of your heart that seemed shattered the minute he finished the sentence, you glared at him and spat out words laced with an equally venomous tone.

“Fine then! You’re saying it's my fault but you know what, maybe everyone is bloody right about you! You’re nothing but a coward scared of commitment!”

“The day you’ll realize you’re nothing but a coward who gets scared at the mere thought of being in a relationship and pushes someone away because maybe there is a chance you like them, it’ll be too fucking late because guess what? I’m tired of this stupid push and pull game with you,Jihoon.” 

“Goodbye.”

You hated how your voice cracked when you finished speaking. You hated how you could not stop the tears. You especially hated the look on his face as he saw what he did, what his words did.

With what energy you had left in you, you turned around and walked away.

Enough was enough, you couldn’t win over someone’s heart who wasn’t even sure whose hands it should lay in. 

Yet one thing was sure, yours laid in his hands and right then, you sure felt like he crashed it into pieces. 

♡₊˚ ┆ SEOKMIN.

Seokmin glowed like the moon solely rose up to soak in his light, like the stars twinkled off his radiance. Maybe,you just got too close to the sun, enchanted with its brightness, to not realize just how much it could burn you. He was your sun. No actually the sun,stars, moon whatever celestial body existed perhaps dimmed down compared to him. 

You think it messed you up completely when you kissed him in that truth or dare game surrounded by your mutual friends. You think about the stolen kisses, never more, just kisses in between the times you’d pass by in the hallways, pulling him in a cramped space and leaving with flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Again, just kissing. 

Simply put, you were addicted to him. To the way he made you feel. To the way he made you tingle when he kissed you so gently. 

You didn’t want to address the elephant in the room. Or in this case, 

What were you two?

Mingyu asked when you were sitting down in the same circle, just like the first time you’d kissed each other, with the same people. 

You hesitated and then said, uncharacteristically enthusiasm lacing your voice,

“Friends of course! Don't be ridiculous Gyu.”

You didn’t like that word, and it seemed he didn’t either as he looked away,gulping in distaste and a scoff on his face that was usually unnatural for the sunshine like a boy. Seemingly going unnoticed by you but said boy who asked the question noticed and glanced back at you to see if you noticed. He sighed when he saw you not looking at Seokmin but raised an eyebrow as he saw you in a dilemma. 

Right. Friends. Friends who kiss. But still friends…friends?

You tried convincing yourself the rest of that day that adding a label would ruin things. It always does. You should enjoy it while you can, right? It was all in fun?

So why did you feel terribly down when Seokmin refused to talk to you for the rest of the day?

“Seok?” You asked gently and he sighed exhaustingly as he looked at you,

“Please, please don’t…don’t call me that.”

The look of hurt on your face made him hate himself more because why would anyone like to hurt someone they loved?

Before you opened your mouth to speak, he continued,

“I don't think I can do this anymore, this…whatever this is. I am…sorry.”

And without a chance to ask more questions or give any answers, he turned around and walked away.

This was your fault. You hurt him because you couldn’t admit it to yourself that you…that you loved him. 

You loved him more than the universe, you loved him since the day you saw him. You were just scared you'll lose him like the way you lose all your loved ones. You were scared of risks. You were…a coward.

And now it seemed, it was too late to do anything about it.

⠂୨୧ ˚.┆SEUNGKWAN.

Seungkwan and you were fire and water. Milk and lemons. Politicians and caring for the country’s people- Okay too far perhaps and enough of these metaphors of incompatibility to get a point.

You were sworn enemies. Despised each other in the true forms of hate. You hated him so much for the emotions he rose in you that you couldn’t stand him ruining another poor innocent soul with his devious eyes and cunning smile.

Which was exactly what he was doing with the girl wrapped around his left arm, additionally whispering probably lame jokes that made her giggle as though they were the funniest thing on earth. Lee Yuna was her name, you knew her as a cheerleader due to seeing her during your basketball games and also being somewhat acquainted because as a captain, it was apparently in your duty to know everyone especially those involved in the sports sector of your university.

You wish you could cross off knowing Seungkwan but alas, being the midfielder of the boys’ soccer team and the apparent star as well didn’t help in your case. 

“I smell something burning and oh! Would you look at that! It’s an ugly green color too!” Sakura said as she smirked at you, pretending to take a sip of her drink when you directed your glare at her. 

“Fuck. You.” 

“You wish-”

“Oh! hey cap!” A voice said before you could retort to Sakura and you turned to see Vernon smiling at you in greeting. You knew him, of course you knew all of Seungkwan’s little friend group. You frowned at him eyeing him in suspicion. He was Seungkwan’s friend after all.

“Why the frown?” Sakura snorted as he asked you,his attention going to your best friend before she pointed at him and it was as if he understood and nodded.

“Ohhh, I see what’s the matter now.”

“Someone’s” Coughing very fakely, he added, “Jealous.”

Shutting your eyes, you looked at him with a glare enough to make him shut up on his own but still you added,

“Say that again and I’ll-”

“Already giving death threats huh? Maybe you should really go check up on that stick up your ass.” Of fucking course, now is when he decided to show up.

As though his eyes had not been searching for you the moment he stepped in the party. As though he hadn’t noticed you the moment you did. As though it wasn’t just an elaborate plan to rile you up.

You looked at him and fuck. Fuck he made you so angry with how fucking good he looked despite the conditions of the party. His blonde hair shining in the colorful lights and the darn smirk on his face. 

“Kwan. How nice of you to show up! Just the person I was waiting for!” Your sarcasm could be sensed by those around, Sakura’s attempt at hiding her snort and Vernon’s brows raised not going unnoticed. They looked at each other briefly and a knowing look was exchanged.

Here we go again.

“Aw you were waiting for me darling?Hope I wasn’t too late, just got a little busy you see?”

“Clearly.” You said before thinking, the scowl on your face visible and the smugness on his face only grew larger.

“Not fond of me with someone else?” You didn’t even notice how both Vernon and Sakura had left, seemingly only Seungkwan and you, in the midst of drunk teenagers and perhaps lovesick ones, perhaps loners. 

He got closer, closer that made you clench your hands that hung on your sides, leaning down.

“Not fond of me with anyone but you?”

It was as though his voice put you in a trance, or maybe it was how his warm breath tickled your neck. And for the first time in a while you thought of what he said, deeper than you would have ever.

You weren’t sure if you liked the answer. Or what it exactly implied too.

“Stay in your limits Kwan. Don’t fucking- don’t play this shit with me.” You pushed him away as harshly as you could, even if it felt like your hands burned when you thought of what you did. Purposefully ignoring the look in his eyes. Visible hurt and a frown on his face, you turned around, having enough.

“Don’t come after me. Stay with Yuna or whoever, I don’t fucking care.” You don’t know why you said the last sentence. You also don’t want to know why it felt bitter saying it.

With that, you began to walk out, gulping the fresh air that was much needed after being in that suffocating place, suffocating feelings.

As you shut your eyes, you gulped thinking of what you were doing. Why were you so pissed off? 

And maybe you realized, you needed to check on the line that was drawn between Seungkwan and you. Perhaps it’s become too blurry to distinguish it from hatred and love.

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024

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