How To Make Your Writing Sound Less Stiff Part 2

How to make your writing sound less stiff part 2

Part 1

Again, just suggestions that shouldn’t have to compromise your author voice, as I sit here doing my own edits for a WIP.

1. Crutch words

Specifically when you have your narrator taking an action instead of just… writing that action. Examples:

Character wonders/imagines/thinks/realizes

Character sees/smells/feels

Now not all of these need to be cut. There’s a difference between:

Elias stops. He realizes they’re going in the wrong direction.

And

Elias takes far too long to realize that it’s not horribly dark wherever they are

Crutch words are words that don’t add anything to the sentence and the sentence can carry on with the exact same meaning even if you delete it. Thus:

Elias stops. They’re going in the wrong direction.

I need a word in the second example, whether it’s realizes, understands, or notices, unless I rework the entire sentence. The “realization” is implied by the hard cut to the next sentence in the first example.

2. Creating your own “author voice”

Unless the tone of the scene demands otherwise, my writing style is very conversational. I have a lot of sentence fragments to reflect my characters’ scatterbrained thoughts. I let them be sarcastic and sassy within the narration. I leave in instances of “just” (another crutch word) when I think it helps the sentence. Example:

…but it’s just another cave to Elias.

Deleting the “just” wouldn’t hit as hard or read as dismissive and resigned.

I may be writing in 3rd person limited, but I still let the personalities of my characters flavor everything from the syntax to metaphor choices. It’s up to you how you want to write your “voice”.

I’ll let dialogue cut off narration, like:

Not that he wouldn’t. However, “You can’t expect me to believe that.”

Sure it’s ~grammatically incorrect~ but you get more leeway in fiction. This isn’t an essay written in MLA or APA format. It’s okay to break a few rules, they’re more like guidelines anyway.

3. Metaphor, allegory, and simile

There is a time and a place to abandon this and shoot straight because oftentimes you might not realize you’re using these at all. It’s the difference between:

Blinding sunlight reflects off the window sill

And

Sunlight bounces like high-beams off the window sill

It’s up to you and what best fits the scene.

Sometimes there’s more power in not being poetic, just bluntly explicit. Situations like describing a character’s battle wounds (whatever kind of battle they might be from, whether it be war or abuse) don’t need flowery prose and if your manuscript is metaphor-heavy, suddenly dropping them in a serious situation will help with the mood and tonal shift, even if your readers can’t quite pick up on why immediately.

Whatever the case is, pick a metaphor that fits the narrator. If my narrator is comparing a shade of red to something, pick a comparison that makes sense.

Red like the clouds at sunset might make sense for a character that would appreciate sunsets. It’s romantic but not sensual, it’s warm and comforting.

Red like lipstick stains on a wine glass hints at a very different image and tone.

Metaphor can also either water down the impact of something, or make it so much worse so pay attention to what you want your reader to feel when they read it. Are you trying to shield them from the horror or dig it in deep?

4. Paragraph formatting

Nothing sticks out on a page quite like a line of narrative all by itself. Abusing this tactic will lessen its effect so save single sentence paragraphs for lines you want to hammer your audiences with. Lines like romantic revelations, or shocking twists, or characters giving up, giving in. Or just a badass line that deserves a whole paragraph to itself.

I do it all the time just like this.

Your writing style might not feature a bunch of chunky paragraphs to emphasize smaller lines of text (or if you’re writing a fic on A03, the size of the screen makes many paragraphs one line), but if yours does, slapping a zinger between two beefy paragraphs helps with immersion.

5. Polysyndeton and Asyndeton

Not gibberish! These, like single-sentence paragraphs, mix up the usual flow of the narrative that are lists of concepts with or without conjunctions.

Asyndeton: We came. We saw. We conquered. It was cold, grey, lifeless.

Polysyndeton: And the birds are out and the sun is shining and it might rain later but right now I am going to enjoy the blue sky and the puffy white clouds like cotton balls. They stand and they clap and they sing.

Both are for emphasis. Asyndeton tends to be "colder" and more blunt, because the sentence is blunt. Polysyntedon tends to be more exciting, overwhelming.

We came and we saw and we conquered.

The original is rather grim. This version is almost uplifting, like it's celebrating as opposed to taunting, depending on how you look at it.

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All of these are highly situational, but if you’re stuck, maybe try some out and see what happens.

*italicized quotes are from ENNS, the rest I made up on the spot save for the Veni Vidi Vici.

Need them all to give me a creampie 🙏

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐒 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐒✧˖°ʚ🍋🍒🍑🫐🥧🍓ɞ♡—

[18+ warning, mentions of smut, kissing, fluff, sexy times. Minors do not interact ♡] ૮ ˶︶^︶˶ ა🧸

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𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐄𝐑 — 🫐🥧

“Mmm.. this is so good sweetheart.” Andy mumbled licking his lower lip as you added a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of his pie slice. His second slice to be exact. “Mm..” he ate slumping back on his couch putting his feet up resting the dessert plate on his thigh as he reached for your hand humming in satisfaction. You watched him eat for a moment with your heart swelling with love and affection. Your eyes twinkled as he watched the flat screen. “You baked me a pie huh?” You nodded at his question eating a spoonful of your own slice. Before you knew it he devoured his second piece and placed his empty plate on the coffee table. You had a little left and once you finished that he pulled you to straddle his lap. “Thank you baby..” nuzzling his bearded cheek against your own cheek in affection before capturing your mouth in a passionate kiss taking your breath away. Your arms moved around him as you cuddled close to him locking your thighs around his waist as you kissed loving on each other softly like that.

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𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑 — 🍑🥧

“Your favourite..” You straddled his lap moving your arms around his neck. “For me?” He asked eyes widening in surprise as he picked up the fork and tasted forkful of the semi warm peach pie topped with delicious ice cream on hot summers afternoon. He moaned chewing slowly his jaw moved so perfectly making you kiss the side of his ear. “Yes baby.. all for you.” You sucked on his earlobe and he touched your naked thigh in his hand eating another forkful “So so good sweetie.. thank you so much, indeed my favourite” sitting on the porch of your farmhouse you cuddled yourselves against each other blissfully enjoying the chirps of the birds and the sounds of your man moaning with every bite absolutely having him wrapped around your finger. Once he finished his dessert he cupped your ass in his hands “For this.. I’m going to fuck a baby into you tonight..” you flushed bright red. “Cole..” he captured your mouth in fierce kiss all tongue and hot breaths. “I’d like that very much..” you moaned as he licked your lower lip and sucked on it with eyes full of want and desire.

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𝐀𝐑𝐈 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐍 — 🍓🥧

Hot summers evening you finished baking your man’s favourite pie. He came home from a long mission and smoked outside on the balcony. You cut a slice and added fresh scoop of ice cream on top bringing it to him on the balcony. He wrapped his arm around you as you joined him, biting his lower lip. “For me, little girl?” You nodded with excitement seeing that he already wanted to taste it. Taking a spoon he tasted a spoonful groaning hungrily. “We haven’t had any dinner yet and you’re giving me dessert?” You moved your arm around his waist wanting to be close to him. “Yes Daddy..” Ari ate few spoonfuls while you watched the view from your balcony before setting his place down. “Thank you, you always know how to brighten my day or night.. be it with your presence or just my favourite cake..” his arms curled around you and you got on your tiptoes kissing his thick beard. Ari captured your mouth in a strawberry flavour kiss and you moaned taking your hands through his semi long hair. Picking you up in his arms bridal style walking to your bedroom. He promised to love you all night long.

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𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 — 🍒🥧

“Can I come in?” You knocked on the meeting room door holding a dessert plate. “Of course..” Steve mumbled softly sitting in his office chair a desk lamp on in the entire room only. You tiptoed inside and around his table until you were beside him giving him a soft peck on his lips. “I baked some..” you knew it was his favourite pie. Cherry pie with a scoop of ice cream. “Mm..” his face lightened up and licked his lower lip caressing your thigh. “Thank you babe..” the cap reached for the spoon and tasted some. He closed his eyes and you clapped your hands together at his reaction biting your lower lip. “Mission accomplished.. spirits lifted.” He complimented eating a larger spoonful cheeks full and you gazed at him with nothing but love. “I’m so glad honey..” you touched his bicep and kissed the top of his head. “I’ll leave you to it..” you knew he stayed up late because of work. Steve put his spoon down licking his lower lip watching you walk away from him quickly getting up touching your hand. He turned you around and kissed you. His kiss was not just passionate but lustful. Without saying a word but moaning he backed you up against the wall and kissed you hard. You clung to his shoulders giving him the access to your tongue and you melted with desire and want. Soon you were nothing but a moaning mess on his cock as he fucked you until late summers morning.

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Tags for fun: @sergeantbarnessdoll @imyourbratzdoll @hansensgirl @rogersbarber @mrsevansbithoughts 🖤

oh mein gott this bau team is full of kuntenserven

I need a big beefy man who has a hard exterior but is really just a big softy to hold me and whisper sweet things in my ear and make love to me

If this is you hit me up fr 🙏🫡

glasses spencer glasses spencer glasses

no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, backwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, in the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling, teeth jitterbug, mind blogging, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy,moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious,gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, can't walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, slendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tango ever bro could cause a nuclear bomb inside me and i’d still ride.

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schlatt confirming ‘toots’ is his go-to pet name has made my week

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