Why Is This Clip 5 Hours Long??????

Why is this clip 5 hours long??????

the kissing sound is making me lose my mind

How to make your writing sound less stiff part 2

Part 1

Again, just suggestions that shouldn’t have to compromise your author voice, as I sit here doing my own edits for a WIP.

1. Crutch words

Specifically when you have your narrator taking an action instead of just… writing that action. Examples:

Character wonders/imagines/thinks/realizes

Character sees/smells/feels

Now not all of these need to be cut. There’s a difference between:

Elias stops. He realizes they’re going in the wrong direction.

And

Elias takes far too long to realize that it’s not horribly dark wherever they are

Crutch words are words that don’t add anything to the sentence and the sentence can carry on with the exact same meaning even if you delete it. Thus:

Elias stops. They’re going in the wrong direction.

I need a word in the second example, whether it’s realizes, understands, or notices, unless I rework the entire sentence. The “realization” is implied by the hard cut to the next sentence in the first example.

2. Creating your own “author voice”

Unless the tone of the scene demands otherwise, my writing style is very conversational. I have a lot of sentence fragments to reflect my characters’ scatterbrained thoughts. I let them be sarcastic and sassy within the narration. I leave in instances of “just” (another crutch word) when I think it helps the sentence. Example:

…but it’s just another cave to Elias.

Deleting the “just” wouldn’t hit as hard or read as dismissive and resigned.

I may be writing in 3rd person limited, but I still let the personalities of my characters flavor everything from the syntax to metaphor choices. It’s up to you how you want to write your “voice”.

I’ll let dialogue cut off narration, like:

Not that he wouldn’t. However, “You can’t expect me to believe that.”

Sure it’s ~grammatically incorrect~ but you get more leeway in fiction. This isn’t an essay written in MLA or APA format. It’s okay to break a few rules, they’re more like guidelines anyway.

3. Metaphor, allegory, and simile

There is a time and a place to abandon this and shoot straight because oftentimes you might not realize you’re using these at all. It’s the difference between:

Blinding sunlight reflects off the window sill

And

Sunlight bounces like high-beams off the window sill

It’s up to you and what best fits the scene.

Sometimes there’s more power in not being poetic, just bluntly explicit. Situations like describing a character’s battle wounds (whatever kind of battle they might be from, whether it be war or abuse) don’t need flowery prose and if your manuscript is metaphor-heavy, suddenly dropping them in a serious situation will help with the mood and tonal shift, even if your readers can’t quite pick up on why immediately.

Whatever the case is, pick a metaphor that fits the narrator. If my narrator is comparing a shade of red to something, pick a comparison that makes sense.

Red like the clouds at sunset might make sense for a character that would appreciate sunsets. It’s romantic but not sensual, it’s warm and comforting.

Red like lipstick stains on a wine glass hints at a very different image and tone.

Metaphor can also either water down the impact of something, or make it so much worse so pay attention to what you want your reader to feel when they read it. Are you trying to shield them from the horror or dig it in deep?

4. Paragraph formatting

Nothing sticks out on a page quite like a line of narrative all by itself. Abusing this tactic will lessen its effect so save single sentence paragraphs for lines you want to hammer your audiences with. Lines like romantic revelations, or shocking twists, or characters giving up, giving in. Or just a badass line that deserves a whole paragraph to itself.

I do it all the time just like this.

Your writing style might not feature a bunch of chunky paragraphs to emphasize smaller lines of text (or if you’re writing a fic on A03, the size of the screen makes many paragraphs one line), but if yours does, slapping a zinger between two beefy paragraphs helps with immersion.

5. Polysyndeton and Asyndeton

Not gibberish! These, like single-sentence paragraphs, mix up the usual flow of the narrative that are lists of concepts with or without conjunctions.

Asyndeton: We came. We saw. We conquered. It was cold, grey, lifeless.

Polysyndeton: And the birds are out and the sun is shining and it might rain later but right now I am going to enjoy the blue sky and the puffy white clouds like cotton balls. They stand and they clap and they sing.

Both are for emphasis. Asyndeton tends to be "colder" and more blunt, because the sentence is blunt. Polysyntedon tends to be more exciting, overwhelming.

We came and we saw and we conquered.

The original is rather grim. This version is almost uplifting, like it's celebrating as opposed to taunting, depending on how you look at it.

—

All of these are highly situational, but if you’re stuck, maybe try some out and see what happens.

*italicized quotes are from ENNS, the rest I made up on the spot save for the Veni Vidi Vici.

Surprise, handsome!

Sebastian Stan x fem!reader

Summary: You surprise Sebastian for his birthday

Cw: porn with slight plot, smut, fluff, oral (m receiving), p n v, praise, use of slut once, fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), cockwarming

It’s babygirl’s birthday which means I must express how much I would whore myself out for him. Also I just realized that his birthday is also my uncle’s anniversary. Written on my phone and not proofread so all mistakes are my own.

Sebastian was really upset that we wouldn’t be able to celebrate his birthday together because of filming the new marvel movie. At least that’s what he thought.

I was not about to let my man be alone in some hotel for his birthday. So instead I flew out to where he was filming and managed to get into his room with help from the reception. I changed into his favourite set of lingerie and laid out on the bed waiting for him.

Eventually, I heard the click of the hotel door and his few steps it took to get to the bed before stopping dead in his tracks.

“Surprise!” I sing.

“W-..I- baby what are you doing here!?” He asked dropping his bag and climbing on top of me. “Couldn’t let my handsome man be alone for his birthday” I say softly as my hand cups his face. He smashed his lips onto mine, immediately licking his way into my mouth. I let him devour me and I kiss him back just as passionately. My hands find their way into his soft brown hair and tug him closer. He groans and begins to kiss down my neck.

“I missed you so much” he breathes in between sucking deep purple marks into my neck.

“Missed you too Seb…wanna show you how much” I tug at his shirt before he pulls it off along with his pants. Once he’s in nothing but his boxers I flip us so I’m on top. I kiss his lips fiercely then trail kisses all along his body down to the elastic of his boxers.

I snap the elastic against him with my teeth before pulling them down and off. His cock is hard and already leaking with precum. I kiss the tip lightly before licking a strip up the shaft following a vein. Sebastian moans, “baby don’t tease! It’s my birthday” he whines. “You’re right, sorry handsome” I giggle and take as much of him in my mouth as possible. His breath hitches as he holds himself back from bucking up. I bob my head up and down on his perfect cock while he grunts and groans in pleasure.

“So fucking sexy sucking my cock like that” Sebastian says lowly. I moan around him at the praise and use my free hand to play with his balls. He moans louder. “O-oh ffuck baby you’re gonna make me cum” I pull off, still stroking him at a fast pace. “Cum for me Seb, cum in my mouth please” I beg before returning to suck his cock. I feel him twitch and he lets out a guttural moan as I taste his sweetness. I swallow all he has to offer and pull off licking his cock clean.

Sebastian pulls me up and kisses me, moaning at the taste of himself on my tongue.

He flips us over again so he is back on top. His hand slides down my body and dips into my panties. “Fuck, you’re so wet doll, this all for me?” He smirks bringing my arousal up to my clit rubbing circles. I moan nodding, “yes, s’all for you Seb you make me so w-“ I’m cut off by the gasp that escapes me as he easily slides two fingers into my dripping hole.

He begins thrusting them in and out while still circling my clit. I moan and hump his hand as he fucks me on his fingers. With his pace it and how turned on I am from sucking his cock, it doesn’t take me long to reach my orgasm.

“Fuck mm Seb, gonna cum!” I moan out but before I can he pulls out. I whine at the loss of my orgasm before he is positioning himself between my legs. “The only thing you’re gonna cum on tonight is my cock” he rasps as he thrust fully into me in one go. I let out a shriek of pleasure that Sebastian swallows with his mouth, kissing me and he begins to slowly rock into me.

“Jesus Christ, you’re so fucking tight, such a perfect pussy.” He groans in my ear. My hands find his muscular back, marking him as I drag my nails down. Sebastian growls at the slight pain but still thrust slowly. “Harder. Please” I beg bucking up to meet his thrust.

“Yeah, you want it harder?” He asks but before I can answer he flips me on my front, grabbing both my hands behind my back. My face falls on the pillows as he thrust back in. “My little slut wants it harder. I’ll give her harder.” He growls then fucks into me at an unrelenting speed. I cry out, muffled by the pillows, as tears stream down my face.

“I can feel you clenching around me, you gonna cum doll? Gonna cum for me?” Sebastian asks as he lets go of my hand moving to rub my clit in tight circles. “Ohhh gonna cum, gonna cum please!” I beg.

“Let go cum on my cock baby”

That’s all it took for my orgasm to come crashing down on me in waves. My vision turned white as I let out a silent scream. Sebastian fucks me through my high prolonging my pleasure.

I feel his thrust speed up again as he chased his own high. “Squeezing me so tight, you want me to cum in this pretty little pussy huh?” He asks through rabid breaths. I can tell he’s close by how his dick is throbbing inside of me. “Please cum in me Seb want your cum please” I beg him knowing that’s all he needs to topple over the edge. As the words left my lips he stills and empties himself into me before falling gently on top of me.

He rolls onto his side taking me with him but not pulling out. We lay there for a few moments catching our breaths and coming back down to earth.

“Happy birthday handsome” I whisper into the sex scented air.

Sebastian nuzzles into my neck laying soft kisses there. “Thank you doll” he whispers back.

“Wanna stay in you tonight. Please?” He asks, he’s voice muffled by my neck. I hum an agreement in response, too tired to form a proper sentence.

“I love you” he murmurs, sleep taking over him as well.

“I love you too handsome.” I mutter back before falling into a peaceful sleep wrapped in my lovers arms.

I’m actually so proud of myself for cranking this out all in one day and not too late. Anyways hope you enjoyed!

the inside out characters inside my mind

oh mein gott this bau team is full of kuntenserven