Vamlentvair - Stephen - Tumblr Blog

identity theft

~ＸＰ~

the worlds first entirely ai generated spamton fic.

for reference i put the first sentence into a bot and let the rest fill itself out. this is what it came up with

Spamton came into the room and saw you.

He was sopping wet and looked like he had just been in a really bad thunderstorm. He also had a bloody nose and looked like he needed help. One of his shoelaces was untied and he was covered in DIRT and GRIME and STICKS. And worst of all -

SPAMTON was limping, walking on one leg rather than the other.

"Oh. Hello, Spam," you said as he walked in. You were sitting at the table with your laptop open. You were almost ignoring the fact that he had been clearly ran over by a truck, as indicated by tire marks lining his back.

"Hi, [y/n]," he mumbled and limped to your bed and sat down. He took a couple breaths before looking at your laptop, and then up at you and you could see the worry on his face, the fear and confusion that you could tell were going through him right now. He looked like his favorite song was by the beatles and he was just learning they made it. He was SO SO SAD. SOOOO SAD.

"Hey, I've been watching YouTube videos of people who can fly or ride animals for the last hour and there has always seemed to be one person that everyone is interested in, someone that has their mind fixed on them."

"What the fuck" Spamton asked you. "I am going to die, y/n."

"No, no, don't say that Spamton. You will live."

Spamton shook his head.

You sighed. "Well, it seems that some random dude from a YouTube channel has written a book." You held out a hand to show him what it was called, The Amazing Spiderman.

He ate it in one gulp.

"Wow, Spamton that's disgusting." You laughed, throwing it in the trash can across the room. It landed upside down, but still inside. "Okay. So this guy writes books about heroes and superheroes and how they are supposed to save the world and save it from itself. He calls it The Amazing Spiderman

"I don't care." Said Spamton. "YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME TO THE ER NOW"

"Why?" You asked.

He gave you an incredulous look as if saying, 'why do you think?'

"I know," you said. "I'm not taking you anywhere until you have cleaned yourself off."

Spamton nodded and stood up, wobbling slightly.

"Are you alright?" And then he fell onto the ground with a loud thud.

Your eyebrows raised.

He groaned a bit. "Fuck," he muttered. "I forgot how hard it was getting up after being run over by a truck."

He slowly got up off the ground.

"Here," you handed him a towel. "Dry yourself off." Then you threw the towel at his face and it made a big meaty noise. And he fell back down.

You chuckled lightly and picked up your laptop again and put it on the table and opened YouTube and started browsing. Spamton was still on the ground so you threw another towel on him.

Again he didn't move. You went back to scrolling and you saw a video that read:

The Amazing Spamton! A story about an old hero! A superhero in costume who has been running around with a mask on and he can't stop smiling! What is he doing? Oh! He has been hit on the floor by TWO TOWELS! But no matter! He will get back on his feet! His name is Spamton! The Amazing Spamton!

You laughed quietly.

Then you heard a crash from the bathroom. You jumped up, ran in, grabbed Spamton by his shirt and dragged him towards the shower.

He had Fnaf pizza in his mouth and it was going EVERYWHERE. There was sauce everywhere and the ends had gotten tangled around his fingers.

You threw his shirt away and turned the water on full blast. There was just SO MUCH FNAF PIZZA.

You stepped out of the bathroom and pulled Spamton behind you while he coughed loudly and spluttered as you dragged him towards your bedroom.

In your closet you pulled out your comforter and blanket and set Spamton down on top of them. He was still coughing and you picked him up and threw him onto the matress face side down. He rolled on to his back as he choked on more pizza.

When he was done he looked around as if trying to find something to wipe the mess from his hands and face and lips with. "Where is Freddy Fazbear"

he whispered. "I want Freddy Fazbear to come give me some pizza."

You smiled softly at him and patted his back.

He lay back on the bed, staring blankly into space.

After awhile he asked you what was wrong.

"Just wanted to make sure you're OK." You said.

"I AM CHOKING ON THE FUCKING FNAF PIZZA BITCH!" he yelled and you flinched.

"It doesn't taste good." You replied.

Then you went downstairs to make tea.

As you walked to the cupboard you noticed Spamton curled up underneath the covers of your bed, fast asleep.

He looked so peaceful...

You manually opened his mouth and poured tea in there. You poured all of the tea.

He woke up with a start when his mouth tasted like coffee and he began sputtering.

"What the fuck is in this tea?" he exclaimed.

You just shrugged and went back upstairs to watch the news.

"There is a new movie coming out soon." Your dad told you, "Have you watched it?"

"IT HAS BEEN 5 HOURS SINCE I WAS HIT BY A TRUCK AND YOU STILL WONT BRING ME TO A FUCKING ER"

"Hm"

"THERE IS GAS ALL OVER MY SHOES AND HANDS AND FACE I THINK SOMETHING ELSE'S BLOODED IN THERE ALSO OH MY GOD THE TEA!"

"Ok I'm sorry. I'll take you to the doctor now."

"YESSS"

You grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the house and over to a car.

You dropped him off at a medical centre, which you knew from experience was probably a bad idea and he walked in like an adult.

He looked around and then sat at a desk. You left him alone. You're not supposed to do that to your spamtons.

But you couldn't help but smile at the sight of Spamton working. He was typing on his computer and reading some sort of email and occasionally would mutter under his breath and shake his head.

He was so cute!

Then came in the EVIL DOCTOR.

"HELLO SPAMTON," said EVIL DOCTOR!

"HI EVIL DOCTOR!" said Spamton, "DO I LOOK GOOD FOR THIS NEW DRAMA?"

"Yeah you do Spamton!" said EVIL DOCTOR.

Then they talked for a bit.

Then the EVIL DOCTOR went to grab Spamton and took him to EVIL OPERATING ROOM. He readied his EVIL SUPPLIES, then left Spamton alone and then returned with the EVIL DOCTOR (who was carrying the EVIL SACK).

When Spamton came down he was completely bald except for one single hair on his head. He had been given every vaccine (even the ones that kill you) and looked like he had been hit by a car again and had 5 more wet towels slapped on his face. He had 5 new found diseases.

He looked awful.

"Look Spamton," you told him. "We don't have any more time. We are late, we are really fucking late. Let's go, please. Now."

"NO NO NO" he said.

"Yes now!"

"NO NO NO NO" he shouted. And then Spamton's last words before he exploded into a million pieces were, "PLEASE DON'T COME BACK WITH ANOTHER MAN"

you laughed as you heard your dad yell, "OH MY GOD Y/N!" and ran upstairs to see what happened. When you got there you stopped laughing.

SPAMTON WAS JUST LEFT ALONE AND YOU BLEW UP INSTEAD! KABOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! YOU ARE NOW DEAD FOREVER IN THE PIT OF HELL WHERE YOU BELONG!!

GOODBYE ALWAYS! BITCH!!!!

it’s so funny to me when people attempt to talk about genderbent spamton . like what are you gonna do to that. how do you encapsulate spamton as anything else. hell how do you make him more MASCULINE either. he is just spamton i genuinely cannot picture him as being ”genderbent” this guy genuinely has no clue what gender is i mean just fucking look at him.

you’re telling me that that thing has a gender

Please tell me this is funny

he smells [[KROMER]]

YOU FOOL!!!!!

lord forgive me, im back on my undertale voice acting bullshit

more aggie.io spamtons!!

normal spamton fanart for normal people

Keep reading

Can I pay the Spamton? :3

I finally had a reason to draw the thing that's been in my head for a while now

I absolutely hate hands

Have this edit I made as well:

Love him.

📞 dress this boy up like Raymond from Animal Crossing

done and done !!

careful with who you bully in middle school, they could end up as your future boss 

WHERE’S ALL THE PIPIS

the pronouns are big/shot

do with these as you wish, friends…

completely obsessed with this post on salt route @_@

I saw that Salt Route AU thing, and I gotta say you guys aren’t going nearly far enough with it.

Like, yeah, as a dream the creator had, I can see why it would be haunting and striking, but if you were to actually do a Weird Route with Spamton in Noelle’s role, Spamton wouldn’t be just a meek submissive who just went along naively with whatever Kris (you) wanted. 

Like, imagine a Salt Route with Spamton’s canon personality. 

Spamton is, at first, thrilled that Kris is helping him, just like he is in-game. He goes along gleefully with you because he has an ally—or maybe even a friend—for the first time in God knows how long. 

Even the eliminating his fellow Darkeners in the name of “getting stronger” would give him a thrill. Don’t forget, this is the same guy who sells you the Thorn Ring in the canon Weird Route. What makes you think he’d object to murder? 

And these are the very same Darkeners that rejected him, so he could even view it as a twisted form of retribution. Take the moment where he kills the Addison, for instance. Why wouldn’t he be positively giddy at being given the go-ahead by Kris, to finally be strong enough to hurt the people who hurt him? He would be elated.

Or…so…he…thinks…

Somewhere along the way, he realizes just how tight a grip you (Kris) has on him. That he isn’t he one making these calls to [kill or be killed], he isn’t the one calling the shots, it’s you deciding everything and controlling him. And he realizes he’s been made into a puppet all over again, except it’s not the Voice on the phone pulling the strings, it’s Kris (you), the kid standing right next to him, the kid he thought (in some twisted way) was his friend.

That’s what drives him to despair. Not the killing but the fact that you’re the one making him do it. And when he tries to resist you (like Noelle does in the Weird Route) and realizes he has no choice but to obey, that’s when he regrets the horrible things he’s done. In the most twisted case of reverse psychology ever, he now desperately longs to take back the things you told him to do, and even feels sickened at his earlier glee. Because when he crashes down from the emotional high of that sweet, sweet [Revenge Sauce], he realizes that not even his own emotions are safe from your influences. Even what he feels is determined by you.

And when he realizes the Lightener he thought was giving him his freedom has essentially enslaved him, that’s when he just breaks. And at some point, his demeanor changes from railing against you to worshipping you, praying to you like he did to the machine in the basement. He goes full-circle, and you become his new voice, his new heaven.

Essentially, in this route, he replaces his old god, the Voice on the phone, with a new one, the Voice in his ear.

And this time, no one’s ever hanging up.

walk with me

spunchbob

Little nasty creatchure art dump

do not repost