Sometimes I Just Feel Insanely Blessed.

sometimes i just feel insanely blessed.

i look at my life, nothing has changed at all. realistically, i shouldn't feel blessed. i have a bad family, bad grades, im leading myself up to nothing and i still don't know what i'm going to do with my future and my life. but i just look at the stars sometimes and i feel so blessed.

i get to raise a cactus and my bunny, and im in multiple prestigious activities. i'm fluent in 2 languages and i have the chance to learn more. i have a good library in my town and just overall beautiful people around me. even though my life is crumbling and i'm broken, im blessed.

i look at the stars and wonder if there's another me in another place feeling the same way i used to. i hope not. life can change, you know? even though nothing changes, life can change.

i'd kill for my heart to stop suffocating me lol. i'm unloveable now. god.

i fell in love, but i've fallen out. i'm just jealous of the memory i suppose.

if my feelings weren't so overwhelming it'd be so nice

oh my GOD everytime i think something that happens with him matters he just has to ruin it. we sat on call for 6 hours sleeping w eachother and he has the absolute nerve to fucking do this shit. GOD. I HATE MEN.

the thought of treating someone as if they're innocent in a relationship and denying them sex until they crumble and start touching themselves in front of me. fuck that's so good.