Preach

Preach

Is After Hours going on break? I don’t want to get hooked to a new story that’s so good only for it to also come to pause abruptly. It’s really a compliment to your writing, but too anxiety producing and disappointing if they get updated irregularly over the course of a long time. Totally get that you probably like jumping around so you don’t get bored or feel stale with ideas.

I totally understand what you’re saying. No, it’s not going on a break. It’ll be updated VERY soon! It’s essentially already written in my head, just have to put pen to paper, so to speak.

Cillian Murphy was sighted in Dubin, Ireland, after going to the gym (September 12, 2024)

Source: Daily Mail posted 9/13/24

Source - Facebook

Peaky Blinders Close up

Lizzie and her pain. a baby, little you and me.

S01 E19

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After Hours

Part 14

Previous part here

..........................................................................................

Hey, it’s Jason. I got your number off Y/N’s phone. Y/N will be at Plume tonight. I’ll have a back booth reserved for you. Be there at 9:00 p.m., and I’ll make sure you guys have a chance to talk.

Upon reading the text message he’d just received, Robert’s pulse quickened. He hadn’t heard anything since he and Jason had talked yesterday morning, but now, his heart was pounding with the anticipation of finally being able to talk to Y/N. Had she read his letter? What was she thinking?

Rather than question anything, Robert was going to seize whatever opportunity he could get. Quickly, he replied to Jason.

I’ll be there at 9. Thank you.

Exhaling, Robert was certain that the next few hours of waiting were going to be the longest of his life.

•.•.•.•.•

“I have to tell you something, but you have to promise that you won’t be mad at me.”

Pausing, Y/N looked over her shoulder to Jason standing in the doorway, her arm stopped mid-air as she had been reaching for her outfit that was hanging on the wardrobe bar.

“Nothing good ever started with that statement,” she said concernedly as she met his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Moving from the doorway and stepping further into the dressing room, Jason walked over to Y/N and looked at her.

“It’s not a bad thing, necessarily, but you might want to sit down.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Y/N said, dropping her arm and turning to fully face him. “What’s going on?”

“Just come sit,” Jason said, and he jerked his head towards the two chairs and small table that were off to the side of the room.

Apprehensively, Y/N followed Jason as he walked over to the chairs, and she sat down in the one opposite him.

“Jason, what’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”

Pausing for a moment, Jason looked at Y/N as she sat down, and then he spoke.

“Ok, before I tell you, please just remember that what I did, I did for your own good.”

Y/N shook her head, frowning.

“What did you do?”

Jason hesitated for just a moment again, and then he continued.

“I went to see Robert Fischer.”

Still frowning, Y/N wasn’t understanding what he was saying.

“What?” she asked confusedly, shaking her head, thinking she misheard him. 

“I went to see Robert Fischer,” Jason repeated. “Yesterday, at his office.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat as she processed what he said.

“You what?” her eyes widened. “What do you mean you went to see him?”

“I went to his office yesterday. I went to talk to him.”

“Talk to him?” Y/N repeated back questioningly. “What do you mean you went to talk to him? You don’t even know him. What could you possibly have had to talk to him about?”

“You,” Jason answered, looking at her.

“Me? What do you mean me? Jason, what the hell are you talking about? What’s going on? What did you do?”

Jason shifted in his chair.

“I went to go see him yesterday, to talk to him about you. You were so upset, and I was so mad about what he did to you, and I just felt the need to confront him about it. I wanted to tell him what an asshole he was and to leave you alone.”

“You what?!” Y/N practically shrieked after she heard Jason’s response. “Jason, are you crazy?! How could you do that?!”

“Because you’re my best friend, and I didn’t want him to keep hurting you or playing with your feelings! And since I knew you’d never stand up for yourself, I felt the need to do it for you.”

“Jason! Oh my God!” Y/N said, putting her head in her hands.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Jason replied, “but I didn’t want him to think he could keep hurting you.”

“Jason...” Y/N said again, her head still down. Her heart was pounding in disbelief and embarrassment. She couldn’t believe Jason had done this. When she looked up again, he was looking at her.

“I was fully prepared to just avoid him for the rest of my life,” Y/N said then. “This is nuts!”

“I’m sorry,” Jason repeated. “I just didn’t want him to hurt you again. You’re my best friend, and you’ve been there for me through so much, from the little things to the biggest obstacles, like when I came out to my family. I was just trying to be as good a friend to you as you are to me.”

As she processed his reply, Y/N’s anxiety lessened slightly. As nuts as the situation was, she was truly touched by what Jason had expressed.

“Jason...” she shook her head. “That is so sweet...and so twisted.” She gave him the tiniest hint of a smile. “You should have just left well enough alone."

"Well enough?” Jason asked sarcastically. “I would hardly say you’re well enough after what happened.”

Y/N shook her head again.

“So what...I mean...what did you say to him? What happened?”

“I went to his office and I told him that the things he said about you and the stunt he pulled the other night were about as low as someone could get. I told him that you were better off without him, and he was an asshole who didn’t deserve you.”

Y/N’s eyes widened.

“I can’t believe you said that.”

“He was pretty surprised, too,” Jason smiled back at her.

“I can only imagine,” she said. “So, what did he say when you told him all that?”

“He agreed with me completely.”

Furrowing her brow in confusion, Y/N tilted her head. 

“What? What do you mean?”

Jason shifted in his chair again.

“Well, that’s the other thing. I may have gone to confront him, but he ended up having a few things to say himself.”

“What do you mean?” Y/N asked again, her pulse rising once more.

At that, Jason pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the voice recordings.

“He didn’t know it, but I recorded my conversation with him. I wanted you to be able to hear whatever he was going to say.” Jason then set his phone down on the table and poised his finger over the play button. “I think you should hear this,” he finished.

After pressing play, Jason’s and Robert’s voices could be heard as their conversation from the day prior played back through his phone.

She heard it all. Everything Robert said. His misunderstanding about who Jason was. His admission of overhearing her with Beth and his shock at finding out she did this. The fact that he went to go see her the very first time and she didn’t even know it. That he’d arranged the performance at the new venue in an attempt to have the chance to talk to her after she’d rejected his other attempts and he’d missed her at her apartment. That he’d been trying to apologize since the day it all had happened. And most of all, that he’d said what he had not because he actually believed it, but because he’d been so temporarily blinded by jealousy, hating the idea of any other man seeing her like that or being involved with her.

The entire time the recording played, Y/N’s heart was pounding. She heard the truth, the sincerity in Robert’s voice, having come to learn over the last few years exactly what that sounded like. And then she heard his next statement.

“Because I’m crazy about her; I have been for a long time.”

Then more.

“...but she means more to me than anything.”

And finally.

“I love her. I’m in love with her.”

After that, Jason reached out and stopped the recording, and Y/N could do nothing but stare down at the table, shocked at everything she’d just heard. Her heart was pounding, and she didn’t know whether to cry or scream or...even what. What she’d just heard had suddenly changed everything, and all she could think about was the realization that Robert felt the same way about her as she did about him all this time, and that apparently, everything that had happened occurred because he loved her.

Finally, after a moment of silence, Jason spoke.

“He loves you,” he said. “I’ve never seen any man look as desperate or remorseful as he did the entire time he talked about you.”

“I...I...” Y/N didn’t know what to say. She was frozen from the shock of it all.

He loved her. He was in love with her, and he’d done what he had in an attempt to fix things, to apologize. She couldn’t believe it.

“Oh, and here, you should have this,” Jason spoke up again then, and he reached behind him and pulled something out of his back pocket. As he handed it to her, Y/N saw that it was an envelope, and as she took it from him, she realized it was the very same envelope that had originally been attached to each bouquet of flowers Robert had sent her those few weeks ago, the stamp from the delivery company still on the seal.

“Read it this time,” he encouraged her, and then he rose from his chair and left the room, giving her privacy as she turned the envelope over in her hand.

Taking a deep breath, her hands slightly shaky, Y/N carefully slipped her finger under the seal and opened the envelope. Pulling out the piece of paper, she unfolded it and held it in front of her, immediately recognizing Robert’s handwriting.

Dear Y/N,

There is absolutely nothing that I have ever wanted more in my entire life than to take back what I said to you that day. If I could somehow go back and change what happened, I would do it in an instant, and then I would instead tell you what I’ve wanted to tell you for a very long time.

You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. You are incredibly sweet, warm, intelligent, compassionate, and beautiful, both inside and out. I have never known anyone as loving and kind as you, and all I could do every day was count the minutes until I’d get to see you and be around you. You saw me in a way I never expected anyone to, and every day, you made me want to strive to be the man that you’d want, that you deserved. Of course, I knew I’d never deserve you, but that never stopped me from wanting to try.

I want to apologize, to tell you how sorry I am, but I know that will never be enough. What I said to you is unforgiveable, and I can assure you that I’ll never forgive myself for it, either. All I want is to tell you how incredibly sorry I am, and that I need you to know that I do not, nor have I ever, or will ever, think those things about you. What I said came from jealously, and although that’s no excuse, I need you to know that I didn’t mean a word of it. The only thing I can do now is hope that you’ll believe me, because you should know that the only thing I’ve ever seen when I look at you is perfection. The only thing I’ve ever felt when I’ve been around you is happiness. And that happiness went away the minute you left that day.

I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry, and I’m so ashamed. And I know I don’t deserve to even ask for it, but if there’s any way you could find it in your heart to give me another chance, I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness.

Whatever you decide, please just know how sorry I am, and that if I could take it all back, I would do it at any cost. You mean everything to me, Y/N, and that’s something I should have told you a long time ago.

All my love,

Robert

By the time she’d gotten to the last few lines of the letter, Y/N could hardly see clearly due to the tears that were brimming in her eyes. Her hands were still shaking slightly as she held the paper, and upon setting it down in her lap and blinking again, the tears started to fall from her eyes. Lifting her hands to her face, she wiped her cheeks as she tried to digest all that Robert had written, every beautiful line.

She could feel him in that letter, feel his sincerity and his remorse. He meant every word; she just knew it. Through his words, she felt the connection to him that she sometimes could swear she felt in the past. Only this time, he’d verified that what she thought she’d sensed from him wasn’t just her imagination.

Her heart suddenly felt as if it had finally been released after being painfully twisted in a vise, and when she looked down at the letter again, Y/N knew that it was always going to be Robert who could make her feel this way. Him and only him. This incredibly sweet man with a good heart who had always made her feel like she was the only person in the world whenever they were together. Who’d always made her feel protected in one way or another, and who she now knew had exhausted every possible effort to try to tell her what she meant to him. 

Y/N sat there for several more minutes, just processing everything, when Jason cautiously entered the room again, checking to see if she’d gotten through the letter. Y/N silently nodded and then handed the letter to him to read, and after he’d finished and then set it down, the two of them looked at each other.

“He means it,” Jason said to her quietly.

Y/N nodded.

“I know,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “I know.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I have to talk to him, but...how do I even start that conversation?”

Jason shook his head.

“He won’t care how you start it, just put him out of his misery and talk to him.”

Y/N nodded slowly.

“You can do it tonight,” Jason said then.

“What? How? I’m about to go onstage in a few minutes,” Y/N replied, looking at him. 

“I know. You can talk to him afterwards. He’s waiting for you.”

At that, Y/N’s eyes widened.

“Wait...what? You mean, he’s here? Out there? Right now?”

“Yes. I told him to come tonight.”

“Oh my God,” Y/N replied. “Jason! I...oh my God.”

“What? You love him, don’t you? You want to reconcile.”

“Of course I do,” Y/N replied. “But I can’t perform knowing that he’s in the audience.”

“Why not?”

“Because! I’ve always done this knowing that it was strangers in the audience. I mean, yes, he’s who I always think about, but...”

She shook her head, trailing off. No matter the fact that he now knew she did this, Y/N still had trouble with the idea of Robert seeing her perform. It was so personal, and despite how much she loved him, and how she’d always done this with him in mind, actually having him there was another story. Her pride still hadn’t recovered from the ensemble performance. Imagining doing this for him and actually doing it were two different things.

“I think you need to show him that,” Jason said then.

“Show him what?”

“That he’s the one you do this for.”

“What? No, I...”

Y/N began to protest, but then, upon thinking about it, she realized maybe Jason was right. After all, Robert was the one behind all of this for her, yet he’d been completely caught off guard by the entire thing. And while that wasn’t her fault, it was true that he deserved to know that he was the man behind every one of her performances. If she did this for him, then she should show him that. And as she thought of the heartfelt letter he’d written her, she thought that perhaps this could be a way for her to finally express her own feelings back to him.

Her hands clammy and her body feeling shaky with nerves, Y/N looked at Jason then and slowly nodded her head.

“Go tell Dee I need to change my song,” she said.

She grabbed a piece of scrap paper and a pen off the table then and quickly wrote something down. Then she picked it up and handed it to Jason.

“Then can you go tell whoever’s in charge of the music tonight to play this for me instead?”

Looking down and reading what she’d wrote, Jason then looked up and gave her a smile and a quick nod. Then he hurriedly left the room, and as she turned and looked at herself in the mirror, Y/N took a deep breath.

She’d never felt this nervous before in her entire life.

•.•.•.•.•

After having shared Y/N’s update with Dee and also the employee in the sound booth, Jason made his way across the large room of patrons and to the back booths. He spotted Robert in the booth he’d had reserved for him, and as he reached him, Robert looked up.

“She read your letter,” Jason told him after they’d greeted each other.

Robert’s heart pounded.

“And?” he asked, his expression both worried and hopeful. “What is she thinking?”

Giving Robert a knowing smile, Jason replied.

“Just keep your eyes up there and she’ll tell you,” he said, and he jerked his head towards the stage.

After that, Jason walked away, and moments later, the lights in the room dimmed and everyone’s attention was aimed to the stage. Soon, the stage curtain began to rise as a soft, slow intro to a song began to play.

A spotlight was aimed on the stage center, and upon the curtain fully rising, Robert saw Y/N standing there, looking more beautiful than he’d ever seen her before in a drapey, romantic, fuschia-colored evening dress. His heart pounded as he looked at her, and, her hands somewhat nervously clasped in front of her, Y/N’s eyes were aimed down as she stood in front of the microphone as the dramatic intro led into the first lines of the song.

Sweet love, sweet love,

trapped in  your love.

I’ve opened up, unsure I can trust.

My heart and I were buried in dust.

Free me, free us.

You’re all I need, when I‘m holding you tight.

If you walk away, I will suffer tonight.

I found a man I can trust,

and boy, I believe in us.

I am terrified to love for the first time.

Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains?

I’ve finally found my way.

I am bound to you.

I am bound to you.

As Robert listened to the song and Y/N’s voice, he was completely captivated. Her emotion was palpable as she sang, and in that moment, he saw all of her beautiful warmth and vulnerability. Her nerves seemed to ease more with each line, and her face mirrored the emotion of the song as she continued, her hands unclasping as she closed her eyes and raised a palm to her chest in deep expression. 

So much, so young,

I faced on my own.

Walls I built up became my home.

I’m strong and I’m sure there’s a fire in us.

Sweet love, so pure.

I catch my breath with just one beating heart.

And I brace myself, please don’t tear this apart.

I found a man I can trust, and boy, I believe in us.

I am terrified to love for the first time.

Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains?

I finally found my way.

I am bound to you.

I am bound to you.

Every word of the song went to Robert’s heart as he watched Y/N, and as he processed what the message was, he felt the same connection to her that he had that very first time he’d come to see her, only this time, it was even stronger. He didn’t wish, he knew she was speaking to him, and with that, his love for her rushed through him all over again, the feelings he had for her and the message she was sending him making it almost impossible to stay where he was instead of going up to her right then and there and wrapping her in his arms.

Suddenly the moment’s here,

I embrace my fears.

All that I have been carrying all these years.

Do I risk it all? Come this far just to fall?

Fall.

I can trust, and boy, I believe in us.

I am terrified to love for the first time.

Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains?

I finally found my way.

I am bound to you.

I am, ohhh, I am,

I’m bound to you.

As the music faded out and the audience began clapping, Y/N finally opened her eyes, and when she did, Robert could see the shimmer of the tears that were threatening to spill over at any moment. His chest nearly caved in, and when she gave the audience a timid smile of appreciation and then turned to walk off the stage, Robert felt more restless than he ever had in his entire life. He had to speak to her.

As the lights came back up, Robert looked around the room, and he saw Jason heading towards him again. As he reached the table, Robert was already standing up.

“I need to see her,” he said to Jason.

Without a word, Jason instead just nodded, then jerked his head in indication for Robert to follow him. As they walked through the crowded room and towards the set of doors off to the side, Robert’s heart was pounding.

Making it back to the dressing room and closing the door, Y/N walked over to the vanity and gripped the edge with her hands, bracing herself. Her heart was pounding, the realization of what she’d just done hitting her again as she tried to steady her breathing. She knew Robert was out there somewhere, and she closed her eyes again, the barely contained tears finally escaping her as she released a shaky breath. In that moment, it was all just so emotional, and as she thought about Robert and everything she felt for him, she suddenly felt so alone without him there.

Leading Robert down the back hallway, Jason began to slow down as they approached a closed door to their right. Hanging back, Jason indicated to Robert that this was where he could find Y/N, and he encouraged him to step in front of the door as he looked at him.

“She’s in there,” he said to Robert quietly. Then he gave him a small smile and turned, walking back down the hallway and out into the club.

As soon as Jason had disappeared, Robert turned back to the door, his heart pounding. After pausing to take a deep breath, he lifted his hand to the door, gently knocking and waiting for a response.

Still standing at the vanity, Y/N raised her head and looked across the room when she heard a knock on the door. She guessed it was either Dee or Jason, and she quickly lifted her hands to her cheeks to try and wipe away her tears before she turned to face the door and then spoke.

“Come in,” she called out softly.

As Robert heard her voice through the door, he took a final breath before reaching out and grasping the doorknob. Turning it, he slowly opened the door, and upon pushing it all the way and being met with the sight of Y/N across the room, his heart pounded again. As their eyes met, he saw the surprise and the emotion on her face, and as he noticed the tears still shining on her cheeks, his chest tightened.

Frozen in surprise at seeing Robert at the door, Y/N couldn’t move at first, and when she looked in his eyes, her own welled up again. Her heart pounding, she released a small sob, and the tears fell again as she blinked and looked back at him.

As he saw Y/N standing there, Robert was still for just a moment, taking in the sight of her and trying to gauge her reaction. But when she gave a helpless little sob and she looked at him with tears shining on her cheeks, there was only one thing he could do.

Immediately moving, Robert stepped into the room and crossed the floor to her in three large strides, and when he reached her, he wrapped an arm around her waist while his other hand cradled the back of her head, urgently pulling her to him and into a kiss as he wordlessly brought her face to his. A tiny gasp escaped her just before their lips met, and as Robert covered Y/N’s mouth with his, he held her tighter, willing her to forgive him as he kissed her with everything he had.

Her heart pounding, Y/N could see the concern and the remorse in Robert’s eyes right before he grabbed her. She gasped as he pulled her to him, but as soon as Y/N’s lips met his, everything else washed away, his kiss and his embrace the only thing she needed now.

The kiss was deep, passionate, and as Robert felt Y/N kiss him back as she fell against him, he held her tighter, trying to show her both how much he loved her and how sorry he was. As he then felt her lift her arms and slip them around his neck, he was consumed with the insane relief and elation that he had another chance with her. She was forgiving him, she was trusting him, and she was giving him another chance. 

It could have been seconds or minutes – neither of them knew, and Y/N wrapped her arms more tightly around Robert’s neck as their lips connected again and again. Finally, she felt him loosen his grip around her waist slightly, and he slipped his hand from the back of her head to her cheek as he parted from her lips.

Reluctantly, Robert finally put space between them, not wanting to, but knowing that he still had to say it. Cupping Y/N’s cheek, he still lingered close to her, their foreheads nearly touching as they both opened their eyes and he looked at her.

“I’m sorry,” Robert whispered, stroking her cheek. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, and I’m so sorry.”

Still clutching him, Y/N inhaled a shaky breath, slowly nodding as he held her.

“I know,” she said softly. “I know. Your letter...”

“If you can forgive me, I promise you that I’ll never hurt you again.”

Nodding once more, Y/N softly pressed her forehead to his.

“I forgive you,” she whispered.

The final last bit of worry that Robert still had then vanished with those words, and he stroked Y/N’s cheek again, pulling away from her just enough to be able to look into her eyes.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said to her.

Looking back at Robert, Y/N’s heart pounded at his words, and the emotion she thought she’d seen in his eyes all those times before was now more obvious than anything, and, looking back at her, Robert saw the same in Y/N’s eyes.

“I love you, too,” she said then, a stray tear still shining on her cheek as she looked back at him.

Still cradling her face, Robert swiped away the tear with his thumb as he held her eyes for a moment longer, and when he felt Y/N lift her hand and lovingly place it on top of his, he knew that he had his second chance. And as he kissed her once more, he swore to himself in that moment that that was the final chance he’d ever need, because he never planned on losing her again.

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