Part Time Lover; Jjk

part time lover; jjk

➳ pairing: investigative journalist!jeongguk x daycare teacher!reader. alternatively, spy!jeongguk x assassin!reader

➳ genre: smut, fluff, angst, fake marriage au, dad au, spy x family au

➵ word count: 30.8k

➳ summary: there is no crime more perfect than marrying jeon jeongguk. your relationship is nothing more than a ruse - while your friends pester you for being perpetually single, jeongguk desperately needs a wife to complete the pristine image of a family, fooling his way through the parent interview at the nation’s most prestigious private school.

only time will tell how deep your lies will run as you find home in one another’s minds. because untangled in the moonlight, he is but a spy, exposing a secret world of corruption, and you, an assassin, ridding the streets of danger one hit at a time. 

➳ warnings: themes of parenthood, raising a child, reader and jk are both orphans, reader has a past where she struggled with financially supporting her family, eldest daughter trauma, reader is insecure, fears of abandonment, mentions of violence and m*rder (but not explicit), mention of weapons (guns, knives, grenades, poison),  jk has a bruise from boxing, descriptions of an explosion, blood is drawn twice (via kitchen knife and shrapnel from aforementioned explosion), (1) mention of weight loss, jk changes his appearance in an attempt to fit in, mention of a minor car crash, social drinking, scars (surgical/knife, bullet wounds), characters are liars for the sake of the plot, side characters are misogynists (satire), food descriptions, pet names (hers: angel, good girl, princess his: love). 

➳ a/n: thank you for being so patient with me as i toiled through this fic. it wasn't an easy one! but i do think it's special because of how healing the journey was for me <3 please enjoy, let me know what you think. don't forget to check out the other fics from the "industry baby" collab hosted by the ever so lovely @jeonjcngkook and @mercurygguk !

➳ smut warnings: virgin reader, sexual tension, body worship, nipple play, marking, oral (f receiving), fingering, hair pulling, unprotected sex, jk has a big dick, praising, stomach bulge, spitting, use of the word slut, marriage kink(?) he loves his wife so much, reader wants to be bred, cumshot

Jeongguk, 26 Investigative journalist at Golden News Network Less than a mile away To whom it may concern, I am a single father looking for a wife (DM me for serious inquiries only). 

“Your profile is dog shit,” Seokjin deadpans. The cringe settles into the downward turn of his lips as he swipes through his best friend’s Tinder account. “You’d be bitchless if you weren’t hot.” 

“Jin, watch your mouth.” Jeongguk shoots a deadly glare toward the older man. “There are children around.” 

From the kitchen, Jeongguk cranes his neck to take a peek into the messy living room where his adopted daughter sits, criss-crossed, in front of the television. Minji is too distracted by her weekly cartoon updates to even notice the crude language. 

“Minny, don’t sit too close to the TV,” he sends his daughter a stern yet gentle reminder. “Your eyeballs are gonna fall out of your head if you do.” 

A frown etches itself onto Minji’s face as she scooches back on her knees. 

Jeongguk returns his attention to the dinner he’s preparing tonight. A pot of homemade tomato sauce simmers on the stovetop. 

In the back of his mind, he wonders if his dating profile is as terribly unappealing as Seokjin says it is. Otherwise he wouldn’t have so many notifications, right? ー Messages from girls, asking if he could be their daddy too. Jeongguk’s bio is short and straight to the point. He’s not that ugly, or so he thinks. Being a journalist is a respectable occupation with steady income. So what could be so bad about it? 

Is it the fact that Jeongguk isn’t even his real name ー nothing but a fake persona to help him with his investigation? Maybe it’s because his adopted daughter doesn’t have a striking resemblance to him, and his pictures look like a shady scam. 

But there’s no way that they can see through Jeongguk’s facade. After all, he’s the best spy in the agency. His specialty is deceit. It’s foolproof. There’s no reason not to believe him. 

“I think they’re really into the whole dad thing,” Jeongguk nods, focusing on the sliced onions in front of him. The smell of garlic and fresh herbs permeate through the air.

“Really?” Seokjin says in feigned disbelief. He leans back against the couch, making himself comfortable. “It’s not because of the video where you’re deepthroating a deep dish pizza? Just for that, I would have gotten on my hands and knees to suck your di-.” 

“Can you seriously watch your language?” Jeongguk cuts him off before pointing a knife in his direction. 

Kim Seokjin may be his closest colleague, but that’s exactly where he draws the line. Seokjin is nothing more than Jeongguk’s informant. His job is to get the latest intel on all of his targets, and that’s it. He’s not here to fool around or make friends.

“We took that video in Chicago. Doesn’t it show that I’m well traveled?” Jeongguk asks with genuine curiosity. He remembers reading an article about how women love that sort of stuff. 

Seokjin pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s gonna be a long, long night,” he mutters to himself. His best friend is beyond the point of fixing, but at least he makes a good househusband. 

Jeongguk wipes his hands against his frilly apron before dipping a wooden spoon into the pot. He inches the tomato sauce closer to his pursed lips as he blows on the piping hot confection. It could use more parsley. 

Just when Jeongguk thought he could distract himself with cooking, he suddenly remembers the pressing problem that occupies all of his brain space: he is in desperate need of a wife. The constant reminder is taped to the front of the fridge 一 a letter from Minji’s prospective elementary school. 

Dear Jeon family,  Congratulations! Your child’s preliminary results indicate that he/she has passed the entrance exam at Hwa Yang Academy. Our institution carries a prestigious reputation, accepting only the nation’s brightest students. Due to your child’s outstanding academic score, we invite you to the second phase of admissions where a family interview will be conducted. Please have both parents and child present at Yeon Hwa Hall on the first of May, promptly at 10am.  It is our good fortune that you chose to apply to Hwa Yang Academy. We look forward to welcoming you and your family to our renowned institution.  Sincerely,  Department of Admissions at Hwa Yang Academy

The fact that Minji received an interview at the top school in the nation is amazing beyond belief. Everything is going according to plan. The only problem is that Jeon Jeongguk is, in fact, bitchless. 

“Remind me again, why do you need to get Minji into that school?” Seokjin furrows his brows. He’s never seen his best friend this stressed. The way that Jeongguk is willing to jump through hoops makes him feel as if he’s never wanted anything so bad in his life. 

Jeongguk clenches the wooden spoon in his hand, threatening to give himself a splinter. “I have to get access to Hwa Yang,” he says, like it’s do or die. “There are families with infinite amounts of political power there, including the prime minister. The big boss suspects that they’re planning a rebellion, and I need to get close to them to expose their secrets. Obviously I can’t even touch the elite without pretending to be one myself. So I need this family to be as perfect as it can be.” 

“You think you can prevent a whole rebellion and save the country if you go to a few parent association meetings? Bake a batch of cookies like a soccer mom?” Seokjin’s questions are sarcastic, but he’s not wrong. He needs to infiltrate the prime minister’s inner circle, befriend him, and uncover his government secrets. But doing so would be impossible without first securing a wife and earning acceptance into the school. 

“If it comes down to making a paper mache volcano, I’ll do it.” The determination in Jeongguk’s eyes is unwavering. 

“You really expect to get through the admission interview with a fake wife? I can’t even get a single date, but you think you can get married by the end of the month?” Seokjin laughs at the expense of his own heartache. 

“Maybe the mommies would like you more if you weren’t so de-looshe-in-ull,” Minji chimes. 

Has she been listening all along?

“Delusional?” Seokjin scoffs, fueled with exasperation. Lately, he’s had thoughts about being a kinder person, yet a part of him still believes that he deserves the last word in every conversation. “Where did you learn about that?” he queries, balling up his hands. 

“Appa,” Minji replies, pointing at the man in question. 

Seokjin winds his fist back as if he’s throwing a punch across the room, but he listens to the screaming voice in the back of his head. The one that tells him he’s much too pretty to get pummeled today ー that his face would look better if Jeongguk’s fist wasn’t imprinted on the surface of it. So instead of starting a fight with a five year old girl, Seokjin folds his knees against his chest, cursing under his breath. Maybe he can be the bigger person. 

“So why can’t the agency send another spy operative to play house with you?” Seokjin asks, resorting to a life of civility under Jeongguk’s roof. He forces a smile through gritted teeth and returns his attention to the dating app in the palm of his hands, half-listening to his best friend. 

“Well, a bunch of police officers arrested our agents. There’s only a few people left on the team. Haven’t you seen the news? The government is cracking down on espionage.” Jeongguk rolls his eyes, clenching his jaw. “They use women as their scapegoat, filling up some stupid quota for incarceration.” How can men be so ignorant and simple minded?  

Ironically, Seokjin flashes his phone in front of Jeongguk’s face. “Swipe left or right, what do you think?” Yep, the minds of men are pretty simple, and Seokjin definitely didn’t hear a single word that came out of Jeongguk’s mouth. 

Y/N Daycare teacher at children’s municipal library 1 mile away Critics review: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Loves her emotional support characters, and will only ever love her emotional support characters”  “Can’t cook to save her life, but she can top off your ramen with a fried egg”  “Pros: loving and down to earth, great with kids. Cons: doesn’t know her own strength, hates mushrooms, has a quirky laugh” 

“You know what? I’ll swipe right. You’ll get more matches if you do,” Seokjin suggests with a determined nod. 

Jeongguk stares at his informant in disbelief, jaw slack. There’s no way this stupid app is going to land him a wife by the end of the month. 

“What do you think about this guy?” 

“Hard pass. I mean, look at his photos. His whole personality is about working out.” 

“Okay, then what about this one?” 

“Nah, he looks too stuck-up. I don’t think he can take a joke.” 

“How about her? She’s pretty, right?” 

“She doesn’t even have a bio! What if she’s a catfish?” 

From the way your coworkers appraise these people, they act as if they’re the ones looking for a partner. Because as a matter of fact, it’s your phone in their hand, swiping away on your dating app. 

It doesn’t matter if there are library books that need to be stowed away or paperwork to be filed. They pay no mind to the clock indicating that there’s 30 minutes left in the work day because finding you a significant other seems to be their only priority. 

“Sujin, stop being so picky. At this rate, y/n isn’t going to get a date if you swipe left on everyone,” Yumi whines. 

“Why did you make a profile for me anyways? I don’t need to be in a relationship.” The sound of your widely unpopular opinion makes the two girls look up with big, round eyes. 

“Aren’t you ever lonely?” There’s a hint of pity that lingers in Yumi’s voice. 

You find it quite offensive that she would think that. As much as you’d like to keep your job, you would also like to rip the rug out from beneath Yumi’s feet until she falls flat on her face. But the reality is, you really need this job. So all you do is shake your head and grit your teeth. “No, not really.” 

“Life is soo much more romantic when you have someone to love.” Sujin’s unblinking eyes make you wonder if she’s being held hostage against her will. Is her boyfriend tapping into her phone, listening to all of her conversations? 

“y/n, you’ve never been in a relationship before. Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something?” There’s a pout that rests on Yumi’s lips. Her tone leaks with faux sympathy. “Hobi just got married, and Nari’s having a baby. We’re all grown up, and I don’t want you to feel left out, especially at my engagement party next weekend. It might bring out some… bitter feelings.” 

You resist the urge to roll your eyes, reminding yourself that you should definitely not push Yumi down the stairs at the end of your shift. “I think I’ll be content on my own.” 

“Here, look through the app for a little while. Maybe you’ll find someone that you like. Just give it a chance, okay?” Sujin hands the phone back to you. “You should really think about it. San tells me he’s been worried about you.”

Your expression falls upon hearing your younger brother’s name. Of all people, San should know that you value nothing more than your independence. 

“He just wants you to be happy ー for someone to take care of you.” 

Some part of you believes that Sujin is projecting her opinions and throwing your brother under the bus. “I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” you assure her. “I can be happy on my own.” 

Nowadays, many people come to believe that a wedding ring is the solution to everyone’s misfortune. Supposedly, it’ll keep you safe from all things cruel in this world. They don’t seem to realize that there are problems that run much deeper than being single. It’s as if something must be inherently wrong with you if you’ve never had a partner, let alone a first kiss. 

You have to admit that sometimes, their words can hurt like knives. It’s damaging to your self-esteem if you really think about it. Because surely, everyone wants to be loved and to be desired ー to be chosen. How nice would it be to lie in bed, held and comforted by something other than the warmth of your own body?

If you were to have a relationship, perhaps you could go to bookstores together and read for hours on end. The two of you could laugh and sing at the top of your lungs, dancing like fools in the dim light of the bathroom with toothbrushes tucked between molars. You could listen to ballads on the radio and finally resonate with the lyrics, plastering a goofy, lovestruck smile on your face. If you were in love, you could share childhood memories, and even the mundane details would be tucked away for safekeeping. You’d know one another's biggest fears and greatest vulnerabilities. Even when you reveal the ugliest parts of yourself, they would choose you over and over again. 

If there was just one person to run their fingers across all of your curves, your dips, your scars, only to tell you that you are still the object of their affection, then perhaps you would give love a chance.

But having thought about love your entire life, and never yet to experience it, you’re certain that you’re better off on your own. Ever since you were a little kid, it’s always been you, yourself, and your grief. You’ve harbored yourself in your own bones for decades, so who knows you better than you know yourself ー truly and completely unfiltered? With your mind and wit so sharp, who will find you lovable when they discover there’s a blade where your heart is? 

If you were to find a partner, there is simply no way that you can continue the life that you have. You could never return to them at the end of the night, bloodied and bruised, with no questions asked. Surely, it’s not an easy pill to swallow when you tell them that you're an assassin. There’s no sugar coating that. 

Much like being a daycare teacher, being an assassin is just another job. You started living this secret identity because it earned enough money to take care of your younger brother after your parents had passed away. It put food on the table and cash toward your bills. Money would roll into your bank account by the thousands. At 18 years old, that type of money was unfathomable. But now that San is old enough to take care of himself, there’s really no need to continue this lifestyle. 

Yet you pursue the chase because there’s a certain thrill that comes from seeking justice and vigilance. These monsters no longer hide beneath your brother’s bed. Instead, they lurk between the shadows ー among the alleyways and abandoned parts of town. They prey on those who are weak and exploit them for all that they are. 

If the law enforcement team is never going to uphold their end of the social contract, you have to be the one to act first and eliminate them. So with every job completed, you can be certain that the world is safer one hit at a time. 

But to continue being an assassin, you have to keep this secret under wraps. You’ll be forced to hide under a life of normalcy, as nothing more than a naive and innocent daycare teacher at the local library ー a background character in the story of others. In all honesty, you prefer to keep your secrets tucked away. Because to be loved is to be known, and you simply cannot let that happen. 

Some people aren’t made for romance, and maybe you’re one of them. Nobody shall ever hold your heart in their hands without pricking their own flesh. 

Despite all that is said and done, some part of you thinks that there’s no harm in checking out the unpromising dating app. Curiosity gets the best of you as you mindlessly swipe through all of the profiles. However, everyone you’ve come across is either too shallow, too arrogant, or too boring. 

A defeated sigh slips past your lips until you come across a certain profile. You look closer at the photos, inspecting each one with great care. There are only so many pictures: one of him and his dog, a second one of him shoving a Chicago deep dish down his throat, and another with a young child. Tattoos litter across his sun-kissed skin, and piercings scatter his handsome face ー beautiful in the most unorthodox ways.

His bio reads: “To whom it may concern, I am a single father looking for a wife (DM me for serious inquiries only).” 

Have you seen this man before? Could it be… him? 

The longer that you stare at his profile, the more concerned you become. At this rate, you’ve created an entire fantasy about a relationship with this stranger, and now you’re planning the dinner menu for your wedding. But there’s no way that you’d actually consider swiping right and messaging him, right? You don’t even want a boyfriend! This man could be joking for all you know. 

When the clock strikes the hour, a chime resounds through the air. You shake your head, finally coming to your senses. You slip your device into your pocket, forgetting about the man who lives in your phone. 

Jeongguk. His name is Jeongguk. 

“Appaaa!” There’s a piercing cry that slices through the air as the little girl begs for her father’s affection. From behind the bookshelves, the curious librarian pokes her head between the gaps to catch a glimpse of the commotion. 

“Don’t let go, please, please, pleeease!” The young child slips her tiny hand into her father’s, shaking it back and forth with a sense of urgency. 

Jeongguk stands frozen in place. The apples of his cheeks darken into a rosy hue. It’s a little embarrassing to be that parent ー the one who can’t control his child’s outbursts in the middle of a public space, let alone a library, an academic sanctuary that promises peace and quiet. 

With a heavy, exhausted sigh, Jeongguk crouches down to meet his daughter’s innocent expression. “Minny, I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. I ask that you give me ten minutes, okay?” His voice is firm and assertive. It’s a little rough around the edges, but it can’t be helped. He speaks in a way that commands attention from the room. This is the only way he knows how to demand respect from his subordinates. 

“I just need to pick up a few things. We can go home afterwards, so be a good girl until then,” Jeongguk bargains. “You can go to the playroom, and the nice librarian will take care of you.” 

Minji squeezes her tiny hands into fists, and she dies on the inside. Tears form in the corner of her eyes. Even the slightest change in her father’s tone makes her believe that she’s done something wrong. Her worst nightmare flashes before her eyes. 

Would her father abandon if she were to misbehave? Or worse, would he dare to return her to the orphanage she was adopted from? What if her biggest fear comes to fruition? After all, it’s not uncommon for parents to realize far too late that kids are too difficult to handle. Then, they’re left hoping and praying for some kind of return policy for their own flesh and blood. 

Minji’s eyes become glossy at the thought of it, unlocking a hidden memory from the past, but she refuses to let herself falter underneath his piercing stare. Yet no matter how hard she tries to keep the tears at bay, her emotions get the best of her, and her resolve crumbles into smithereens. After all, she’s only five years old. 

It appears that the authoritative approach only works in the combat room, but perhaps not with a five year old girl. So Jeongguk lowers his defenses and drops to his knees. He wipes the tears away with the pad of his thumb, and she sniffles even harder when he comforts her. 

There’s something about the little girl’s demeanor that reminds Jeongguk of himself when he was younger. Perhaps it’s the need for her father’s approval ー the desire to please and put others above herself. Maybe it’s her tenacity for standing tall and strong despite the dull ache in her tender heart. 

“You can let it all out,” he reaffirms. A beat of silence passes by while he caresses her cheek, allowing the tears to fall. “You ’kay now?” 

Minji reluctantly agrees with the slow nod of her head, but she avoids her father’s strong gaze, staring down at her shoes, sullen. When the warmth of her father’s hand disappears, another sniffle racks through her body. 

Normally, Minji is never one to throw a tantrum, but what does Jeongguk know? Just when he thought he had a hang of the whole “parenting” thing, he’s thrown into a loop. In spite of Jeongguk’s confident demeanor, he genuinely doesn’t know the first thing about raising a child, let alone a daughter. 

In his past ten years of being an undercover spy, he has diffused nuclear bombs and hacked into government files, but nothing has ever prepared him for being a single parent. Yet as a man and a father, he needs to do better. He needs to be better. The least he can do is try.

Jeongguk raises a hand between their bodies, extending his pinky for her to interlock, pledging his vow. “I’ll be back for you in ten minutes, I swear.” He reassures his daughter before planting a kiss on the crown of her head. He crosses his fingers, silently praying that she won’t cry again. 

A dribble of snot falls from Minji’s nose. Her eyelashes are soaked. A dramatic hiccup heaves through her tiny, five-year old body. 

Jeongguk can feel the venomous judgment of everyone around him. They must think that he’s utterly unfit to be a father, and they would be right. 

They would wonder: What kind of child causes a scene in public, screaming, crying, and begging her father not to abandon her? How can he send her to the playroom where there’s nothing but disgusting germs and snotty kids? Is he seriously going to hand off his responsibilities to a total stranger in an underfunded public institution? 

They can easily write Jeongguk off as a villain ー a big, scary man with piercings and tattoos. They could hurl accusations at him with no regard as to where they land. All it takes is a quick glance and a first impression (a false one at that). Obviously, they would think he’s someone who’s not built for child rearing because of the slits in his eyebrows and the gel in his hair. There must not be a gentle bone that resides in his big, burly body, but for that, they would be wrong.

The worst part about this whole “father” situation is not necessarily the judgment of others. He is familiar with scrutiny, and he knows it all too well. Rather, it’s that Jeongguk was never particularly fond of having children of his own. Some people are not cut out for fatherhood, and that’s simply the truth of the matter. But that doesn’t mean he won't do his best. He can’t let Minji down. He won’t. 

As if Minji could read his thoughts, she raises her arms, begging to be picked up. Her sniffles have long died down. 

Jeongguk takes a deep breath before caving into her wishes and hooking an arm around her knees. Minji’s grimy, little hands cling around his neck, and an inaudible, celebratory noise escapes from her lips. 

Minji nuzzles her head beneath her father’s chin. She chatters about the incomprehensible things that only five year olds would understand. She is an enigma beyond her father’s own understanding, but he is determined to learn the ins and outs of this child no matter what it takes, even if it kills him. 

After Jeongguk had finally dropped Minji off at the library’s playroom, he peruses the non-fiction shelves in search of answers. 

How the hell is he going to raise a child? 

He thumbs through all of the top-rated parenting books available, skimming through the blurbs, trying to absorb enough information to pass judgment on them. Because if he’s going to follow parenting advice from someone else, they better be successful in their trials. Jeongguk doesn’t want to be the one to fuck up his own child’s brain chemistry.

There’s a sudden tap on his shoulder that helps Jeongguk to escape from the existential dread of fatherhood.

“Excuse me, sir.” A soft voice sounds from behind him. Your breath catches onto the nape of his neck.  

“How did this woman sneak up on me without me noticing? Maybe I’m losing my touch.” Jeongguk wonders, shocked by his carelessness. Because from behind, he didn’t hear the fall of a single footstep. The air was still and undisturbed until he felt your presence a moment too late. Normally, he would have surveilled everyone within a mile radius before they could even think about approaching him. But you managed to do it so effortlessly. He’s never met a woman so stealthy. 

“I think this belongs to you.” Your voice interrupts his stream of consciousness. 

The man before you turns around, and surely, he is a sight for sore eyes 一 a little intimidating to say the least. There’s a silver ring that protrudes from his bottom lip, contrasting against the subtle pink. Even more metal resides against the surface of his skin, a piercing on either side of his eyebrow. There’s a scar that sits on his cheekbone, and you can’t help but wonder how it got there. 

You’ve only ever admired this stranger from afar. Most days, he never fails to browse the children’s manhwa section with a talkative child latched onto his leg. Up close, he looks like a tough guy, but the moment he sees his adorable daughter clinging onto your dress, the hard look in his eyes softens. A dimple carves itself into the curve of his cheek. 

“Who do we have here?” His typical inflection changes into something slightly more playful. But he uses it to mask his exhausted state.

“Appa, appa! Miss y/l/n is so pretty, don’t you think?” Minji says enthusiastically. 

A flame ignites beneath the surface of Jeongguk’s skin. He grows flustered under the little girl’s stare.

Your eyes widen. You’ve never been considered “pretty” by conventional standards. It’s not often that you hear those words, if ever, really. 

“Minji, everyone has their own opinions, but you shouldn’t push your beliefs onto someone else,” you begin as a form of damage control. “I’m so sorry, but she ran up to me, saying she lost her father. She seemed so distressed, and I thought she was going to burst into tears if she couldn’t find you.” 

Jeon Jeongguk has never known peace before. Minji is just as sneaky and conniving as her father; she’s a filthy liar just like him. 

“No, no, it’s okay, don’t apologize. Her attachment issues have grown by the day,” Jeongguk replies, shaking his head. He wears a bashful smile, cheeks tinged with pink. “Minny, do you remember what I taught you?” He crouches down to pick his daughter up by the waist, squeezing her sides. 

“Don’t sleep with wet hair otherwise I might get hippo-pot-a-therm-ia?” Minji recalls, butchering the pronunciation. 

Jeongguk bites the inside of his cheek, shaking his head. “No, the other thing.” 

“Minny doesn’t have to eat anything that she doesn’t want to?” 

“I never said that.” A look of disapproval crosses her father’s features. 

“Drawing mustaches on sleepy people is wrong unless it’s Seokjin samchon?” 

He scrunches his nose, nodding his head from side to side as though he’s contemplating. “Well… yes, but no. Try again. The thing about beauty.” 

“Oh! Beauty is something that comes from the inside!” Minji’s eyes light up upon recognition.

“Exactly, it comes from inside.” Jeongguk reminds her. He presses his pointer finger against Minji’s sternum for emphasis. Upon his touch, a sweet giggle falls from her lips. 

“But you do think it’s true, don’t you?” Minji asks once again, persistent. “Miss y/l/n is really pretty.” 

The blush on his cheeks grow a shade darker. “Minny, of course I think she’s pretty. I thought we talked about this.” Although he lowers his voice like it’s a secret, you can still hear every single word. 

Minji giggles to herself, hiding her face behind her hands. 

Jeongguk has always known your face, but never your name. “Miss y/l/n, right?” 

It sounds odd to hear your title from a grown man, but you laugh it off with a chuckle. “Yeah, that’s what the kids at the daycare call me. It’s just y/n though.” 

Jeongguk readjusts his daughter in his arms before reaching for a handshake. “I’m just Jeongguk.” It doesn’t strike how little his name means to him. Of course it’s just an alias for the sake of the mission. He picked it on a whim, but it suits him more than he had thought. Jeon Jeongguk, pillar of the nation. The lie tumbles out of his lips so naturally, and he doesn't have to think twice. 

His eyes lower into crescent moons as the corner of his lips curve into a smile, something akin to fondness. A shallow dimple finds its way onto his cheeks. 

Dammit. He’s cute. 

You reach forward, cupping your hand around his in a reverent greeting. He holds you gently as if there’s a butterfly that had landed on the tip of his fingers. It contrasts against your strong grip. 

Observant as ever, Jeongguk notices that there’s no sign of a ring on your hand. He digs through the arsenal of intel that’s locked up inside his brain. Thanks to Seokjin’s sticky fingers, he managed to spend an entire weekend studying the most recent census information, getting to know the profiles of everyone in the city (just in case). There has to be some information about you stored in his head. 

“y/n… Where did I see that name before?” He thinks to himself, mentally sifting through all the files he’s read. “Ah, I remember now. File #901: y/l/n, y/n. Never married, never divorced. Orphaned at the age of eighteen. She has one younger brother. Both of them have clean records ー never been in trouble with the police, never even received a speeding ticket.”

“Jeongguk…” you murmur his name as if you’re testing the waters. “I know. I’ve seen you around before.” 

Minji might have accidentally let it slip that he’s the man who's been her appa ‘for a very long time.’ She never seemed to mention that she’s adopted. Instead, she continues to describe her father as someone super handsome and very single. 

“Really?” Although he’s noticed you plenty of times before, he’s surprised that you recognize him. Jeongguk doesn’t like drawing attention. He supposes that lately, it’s been difficult when his daughter attracts a lot of eyes. 

“Most of the time, you wander through the aisles, half-dead like a zombie, with a cup of coffee in your hand.” You lean forward, speaking in a hushed tone. “You really aren’t allowed to bring drinks into the library, but my coworkers let it slide because they think you’re handsome.” 

Perhaps you’ve overshared because Jeongguk stares at you blankly, taken aback by the news. 

“Here’s another secret.” You beckon him closer once again, speaking barely above a whisper. “You should be careful about reading parenting books. You’ll end up stressed about what to do if it doesn’t work, and you’ll feel like a failure by the end of it.”

His eyes widen in surprise. He had hoped that the parenting books would put an end to his sleepless nights. “What do you think I should do then? I don’t know how to deal with this monster right here.” He ruffles Minji’s hair in endearment. 

“Hey!” Minji shouts in defense of herself.

“That’s not to say you shouldn’t read any parenting books. It’s just trial and error,” you shrug. “As much as you don’t want to hear it, there’s really no right answer.”

Jeongguk drops his shoulders, slightly disappointed. The defeated look on his face is a feeling you can sympathize with. 

“But if it helps, I think it’s important that children need a little bit of softness every now and then, especially because the world is so cruel.” You flash him a gentle smile, urging him to lighten up on his daughter. He needs to stop pretending that raising a child is anything like the military or the spy academy. 

Upon hearing your conversation, there’s a mischievous sparkle that appears in Minji’s eyes. “Miss y/l/n, do you wanna be my eomma?” 

You stare blankly at her, blinking as though you are processing her question. The words die on your tongue, yet you cock your head to the side, meeting the little girl’s gaze. “Y- your eomma?” you reiterate, startled. 

“Pleaseee? I’m so lonely with no eomma,” Minji pouts, melodramatic as ever. She puts her hand on her forehead as if she’s feigning an illness. 

“Jeongguk, do you happen to be looking for a wife?” 

“Is this your way of asking me out?” He leans forward, inclined to hear your proposal. 

You wonder if this is a bad time to mention his Tinder profile. It could be a little awkward knowing that you’ve also made an account on that wretched app. There’s nothing inherently embarrassing about wanting to find love through modern dating, but why is it so hard to admit it?

You weigh your options in your head, but Jeongguk beats you to it. 

“Because if you did 一 ya’ know 一 ask me out, I would have said-” His words are cut short. 

“You know what? I’m sorry if I was being too forward-” Mentally, you want to smack yourself on the head.

Jeongguk didn’t mention anything about a girlfriend, let alone a wife. He has no idea that you’ve seen his Tinder before. You never even swiped. You never matched. 

After you found his profile, you tucked your phone away and refused to open the app again. The blissful state of not knowing is better than playing the waiting game. Will he swipe, will he not? Will he message you and jumpstart some epic romance? 

You decide to tell him the truth and swallow your pride before coming across as a complete weirdo wrapped up in her delusions. 

“It’s just that… the other day, my friends made a dating profile for me because they’re worried I’ll be single for the rest of my life. I came across your account, and I thought you looked familiar. So I just wanted to know if you’re actually looking for a wife because I swear, I’ll do it.” 

Jeongguk has never been this close to making a breakthrough, and he thinks he’s half in love with you. “Are you being serious?” he wonders as a precaution. “Don’t lie to me because I really need this to be a dream come true right now.” 

His daughter reaches forward to pinch his cheeks. Jeongguk winces at the pain, and he’s certain that this moment is real. 

“Do you want me to get down on one knee?” Your face is devoid of any banter, eyes fixed on Jeongguk as if you’re genuinely offering yourself to him. “Why do you need a wife? Tax money? Green card? Ex who won’t leave you alone?” 

“It’s complicated,” Jeongguk begins. 

“Trust me, I know it's complicated when I see it.” There’s a challenging look in your eyes, urging him to continue. 

“Well, the other day, Minny passed the entrance exam for Hwa Yang Academy. Now, the  board has to conduct an interview with the family, but they said they would want both parents to be there.” 

“You can’t tell them that you’re a single father?” 

“I think it’ll hurt her chances of getting accepted,” he explains. “I want my daughter to attend a good school. Her late mother would have wanted the same thing for her.” 

“Appa said lying is wrong, but he’s so good at it,” Minji thinks to herself. 

“Do you really think that I’m fit for the role?” You’ve never really had a penchant for acting or playing pretend. Lying, on the other hand, that is your strong suit. 

“I don’t mean to be too forward, but I think you’re perfect.” Jeongguk speaks his truth without any hesitation. He looks at you with such sweet and delicate eyes. “You seem to be great with children, and Minny adores you already.” 

You eye him as if you’re considering his offer, but you’ve already made up your mind. “I’ll do it, but only if you do a favor for me too. Are you free next weekend?” 

“Next weekend?” Jeongguk raises an eyebrow. It’s starting to make sense why you agreed to do this in the first place. You need something in exchange, quid pro quo. 

“My friends are throwing an engagement party. They’re worried about me all the time because I’m single, but I thought I would lay it to rest if I told them I finally had a boyfriend, or at least someone I’m talking to.” Your speech gets faster and faster with every word that comes out of your mouth. “I know it sounds crazy, Iー” 

“I’ll do it.”

You stare blankly at him, unsure if you heard correctly, but a smile continues to creep onto the corners of your lips. “You will?” 

Jeongguk reaches forward, gently taking your hand in his. “It would be an honor to be your boyfriend,” he says, even if it’s just pretend. “And an even bigger honor to be your husband.” 

“y/n!” 

You don’t hear your name being called relentlessly until your co-workers are shouting for your attention. Their words fall upon deaf ears. 

As usual, they had been gossiping about their boyfriends and their weekend plans. You checked out of the conversation the moment Yumi opened her mouth and uttered her fiancé’s name, resisting the urge to gag. 

You look up from your lap, slightly too distracted. There’s a small, maroon stain and a rip in the skirt of your dress. It’s not easy keeping your clothes in pristine condition when you’re constantly running toward danger. You’re lost in thought, wondering how much the tailor shop will charge you for sewing it back together. 

“What are you doing this weekend? There’s a new episode of that drama you like, right? Are you going to order delivery again?” Yumi assumes. “You know, you should step outside from time to time. Maybe you’ll find a nice person to date if Tinder doesn’t pan out.” 

“Actually, I have plans after work,” you announce before returning to inspect the damage on your dress. 

“With who? Did you meet someone on the app?” The cadence of Sujin’s voice is airy, shocked in disbelief. 

“I’m meeting up with some guy.” You try not to make it a big deal, but these girls always blow it out of proportion. “I didn’t meet him from the app though.” 

“You’re seeing someone? Who?! You can’t just drop the news and expect us not to ask for the details!” Sujin shouts. 

“He was at the library the other day, and he asked me out. He’s the one with the tattoos ー y’all would recognize him if you saw him,” you explain. “Minji is his daughter.” 

“The guy with the coffee?” Everyone collectively gasps upon connecting the dots. “Him? How did you manage to pull that?!” 

Ouch. That hurts. 

“I would dump my fiancé in a heartbeat if the coffee guy could blow my back out,” Yumi confesses. 

How could she be so shallow? She was just talking about how much she loved her fiancé. Is he really that disposable? Besides, is Jeongguk nothing more than the coffee guy? A pretty face who’s made for a one night stand? You’re starting to think that people don’t actually value their relationships. They just want a partner for the sake of having one.

There’s a sudden chime that resounds through the air, pulling you out of your thoughts. The service bell at the front desk had been struck. It’s odd considering most people exited the library by now, knowing that it closes in ten minutes. 

You all poke your head through the doorway to catch a glimpse of the patron. Their eyes widen in surprise when they see the coffee guy standing at the front desk. He stands tall and proud with a military stance, a head above everyone else. There’s a bouquet of pink camellias resting in his hand in place of his typical americano. 

“Jeongguk? I thought we were meeting at the cafe.” Perhaps you remembered the details of the conversation wrong.  

When you speak his name out loud, all the girls shift their gaze to one another. Could it really be true that you’re seeing a man? 

“I thought it would be nice if I could surprise you, and we’d walk there together.” He flashes a smile that sends an arrow straight through the heart (and through those of your coworkers). For a second, you think that Yumi might just faint. 

He’s handsome as ever, just as you recall. But today, there’s something that’s slightly out of place. There’s a bandage that rests on the bridge of his nose. It’s pink with Sanrio characters plastered all over it ー Hello Kitty and My Melody. There’s something about it that makes him even more endearing. 

You try to stifle a giggle as you shoot him an apology. “Sorry, can you hang around for a few more minutes? I have some things to do before closing.”

“Take your time, angel.” Jeongguk says. Crinkles begin to form at the corner of his eyes as the curve of his lips overtake him. 

You have to admit that the pet name made your heart flutter. He plays into the role of a sweet boyfriend pretty accurately. It’s all part of the act. 

Sujin closes the door to the office. The girls break into squeals. They playfully hit your shoulder in disbelief, elbowing your sides. “I can’t believe it! y/n is going out with a man?!” 

“And he’s hot!” 

You shake your head before returning to your work station, ignoring their cheers. But you can’t help the subtle smile that reaches your lips. Maybe the girls will finally leave you the fuck alone. 

“I’m so sorry for the wait.” You apologize as you approach Jeongguk, looking like a disheveled mess after an 8 hour shift. Your blouse is slightly wrinkled, and you’re certain there’s residue left behind from all the marker stains the kids had carelessly drawn on you. Your arm is full of stickers, and you’ll have to remember to peel them off later. 

In the daycare, Jeongguk is propped on top of a bean bag chair that is much too small for his body. There’s a manhwa that rests in his lap. It’s the one his daughter can’t stop talking about. 

“I got here ten minutes early anyways.” He places the book on the table before clambering to his feet. “Oh yeah, and these are for you.” He passes the bouquet of camellias. 

You raise your hands, not really sure how to accept the gift. You’re not the type of girl to receive flowers, love poems, or pretty things. Nobody has ever pursued you in that way. All you ever receive are cursory glances and awkward smiles, but never anything as beautiful as this. 

He inches the flowers a little closer to you, urging you to take it. 

You pull the bouquet to your nose, taking a whiff of the sweet scent. “These are really pretty. Thank you for that.” You motion for him to wait just a moment longer as you place the flowers into a vase. 

Through the porthole of the office door, you can see the girls squeal and jump around in unison. 

“Are you ready? Should we head out?” Jeongguk’s lips curl into a boyish smile. 

You nod, sharply turning your heels in an attempt to hide the fluster of your face. Before you could take a step forward, you’re pulled to a halt. There’s a tug on your arm that spins you around. Jeongguk’s fingers wrap around your wrist, pulling you close. 

“Wait one sec,” his breath fans across your face. “You have some chalk on your cheek. Can I-?” He raises his hand, tentatively learning forward. 

Heat rushes to the surface of your skin, yet you nod your head, giving into his request. “Is this part of the act?” you wonder out loud, low enough for Jeongguk to hear. 

“Only if you want it to be.” His deep voice sends a shiver down your spine. 

As he leans forward to wipe the dust off your cheek, your throat dries. You freeze, attempting to avoid his gaze. You’re not certain whether you’ll explode upon gazing into his dark brown eyes. 

Instead, you keep your sight locked straight ahead. It’s a terrible idea considering his strong chest is right in front of you. The top two buttons of his white collared shirt are undone, and the space between his pecs are exposed, a necklace dangling in between. There’s a chance that you might die staring at it, so you accept the risk of embarrassing yourself and glance at his visage instead. 

“There’s my pretty girl,” Jeongguk says, dusting off the chalk. 

A wave of butterflies swarm in the pit of your stomach, and your mind goes blank. You have no idea how to respond to such a compliment, and you’re unable to when your throat constricts. Your body warms, hyper aware of his palm on your cheek and the one wrapped around your wrist. Your one free hand that is not occupied by his clasp shoots up, hovering over the bandage plastered on his nose. 

“What happened here?” The words splutter out of your mouth, trying to say something. Anything. Perhaps your anxiety would be less noticeable if you could just act natural ー If you could stop standing there without a single thought in your head. 

“Bumped into a wall,” Jeongguk chuckles. It’s a blatant lie. He could never be this clumsy. In actuality, he had failed to duck during a sparring match with another spy at the agency. Fuck Kim Mingyu and his stupidly beefy arms. “Minny picked the bandage for me.” 

“You mean you didn’t choose to wear the Hello Kitty? I think it suits you.” As soon as you graze the bridge of his nose, his laughter turns into a dramatic groan. Soft murmurs of ‘ow, ow’ fall from his lips. 

“‘m sorry, ‘m sorry!” You apologize. 

His other hand gently grasps your palm, pulling it away from his sprained injury. Maybe your dating profile was right when it mentioned you don’t know your own strength. 

“Don’t worry, let’s just hope that Minny is okay,” Jeongguk remarks. “She insisted on wearing a matching bandaid because ‘if appa’s hurt, then Minny’s hurt.’ Kind of like a voodoo doll.” 

Subconsciously, the thought of Minny wearing a matching bandage despite being perfectly fine forces your lips into a smile. 

“Should we head out now?” Jeongguk leans closer, voice barely above a whisper. “Can I hold your hand? Give your friends a real show to watch?” It’s as if your hand wasn’t already in his. 

You nod your head, suddenly remembering that this is all an act. You’re reminded of the girls crowded around the office door, peeking through the small window to catch a glimpse of the action. 

Jeongguk’s hand glides down from your palm and between your fingers, lacing them together. A breath hitches in your throat, and you have to remind yourself to breathe. You can hear the high pitched screams from behind when the girls are convinced you’ve stepped far away enough. But it isn't as loud as the sound of your heart beating out of your chest. 

The two of you make your way to the cafe, walking side by side, hand-in-hand, occasionally bumping shoulders when you walk a little too close. 

“How was your day? I realized I never asked you what you do for work, and I don’t really know much about you in general,” you chuckle, slightly embarrassed. “I thought we would at least have our first kiss by now if we were married.” There’s a hint of sarcasm in your tone, one that Jeongguk easily recognizes because his informant, Seokjin, is nothing but shits and giggles. 

“We would have done more than kissing, but we can start slow.” The corners of his lips curl into a playful grin. His words make you freeze, but it doesn’t seem to faze him. 

With your hands linked together, Jeongguk is pulled back by your halted movements. He turns to face you, displaying his pretty eye-smile. “I’m a journalist,” he says. “I write investigative articles when they don’t ask me to cover silly politics.” 

Although it’s not completely true, it’s not totally false at the same time. He writes exposé articles based on the intel he uncovers from his spy missions. The articles that he writes are written under an anonymous name, obviously so he can’t be tracked for exposing highly classified information. Nobody should ever know that he’s digging into the lives of corrupt politicians. Jeongguk might never see the light of day if word gets out. 

“My routine is pretty consistent,” he explains. “I did some research for my article, wrote a few thousand words in my drafts before deciding to scrap the entirety of it, and I picked up Minny from kindergarten. I asked my friend to babysit her while I’m away tonight.” 

Jeongguk wants to scrub his tongue after admitting that Seokjin is his “friend.” 

“What about you? How’s your life at the library?” Jeongguk asks. 

You describe the events that spiraled today as the two of you head inside the coffee shop and place your orders. “Well, the girls seemed convinced that we’re on a date,” you chuckle. 

Jeongguk gasps. His hand clenches against his chest as if he’s wounded by your words. “You mean to tell me this isn’t a date? I thought we had something special.” He feigns exasperation. “You are my wife, after all, aren’t you?” 

You don’t care to admit how amusing it is to hear the word wife coming from him. Despite the smile that plays on your lips, you shake your head no.

“This isn’t a real date,” you explain in denial. Nobody has ever asked you out, and you’ll be damned if the first time is just pretend. “But I guess this is good practice, especially when the stakes are higher for the interview.” 

“Hmm… practice.” A crinkle forms between Jeongguk’s brows, lost in thought. 

“I have to admit that I don’t have a lot of experience with dating, and that’s why we have to practice.” You shake your head, flustered. “Actually, I’ve never even been in a relationship.” 

“Why’s that?” He asks the age-old question. 

“I’m not really the type that people fall for.” You tuck your head between your shoulders, offering a shrug. “I’m quiet ー Not really good with people. I’m a bit of a late bloomer. I spent a lot of my youth taking care of my younger brother.” That’s only the jist of it. You don’t bother getting into the nitty gritty details. Being a full-time assassin isn’t necessarily “first-date appropriate” conversation. 

“How many partners have you had?” You bounce back, diverting the attention away from you. 

“Just one, my wife who passed. We had been together since we were in high school.” The lie seeps through his teeth so easily. It’s terrifying. But the less you know, the better. 

The thought of being Jeongguk’s first “girlfriend” since the passing of his wife makes you incredibly nervous. Upon seeing the sullen avoidance in his eyes, you don’t bring it up again. Instead, you try to lighten the mood.

The two of you fall into a routine of volleying questions back and forth. If you’re planning to convince everyone that you’re husband and wife, you’re going to have to know more than just one another’s (supposed) names and (supposed) professions. 

You start with the easy stuff. “Where did you grow up?” 

“Busan. I miss the sound of the ocean, but I don’t mind the city as long as Minny goes to the best school in the country. What about you?” 

“I grew up in a town so small you wouldn’t be able to find it on the map, but it’s not far from the capital.”

“Cryptic, I like it.” A grin forms onto the corners of lips before he takes a sip of his coffee. 

Over the next hour, you learn that Jeongguk, as robust and intimidating as he looks, is warm and gentle. His favorite thing about being a father is having someone to love and protect. To him, Minji is a bundle of joy who makes his day brighter despite the hurdles that come with being a parent. He would do anything in the world to give his child the life he never quite had. 

Likewise, having lost his parents at a young age, he learned to lead a fulfilling life all on his own. Instead of letting it bog him down, he clings onto the simple things for respite, searching for happiness in every corner of the universe. 

He loves the rain and how it fleetingly smells like the warm and muggy summers of his hometown. Although he doesn’t experience the monsoon season quite like he used to, he loves to watch Minji splash around in her yellow rain boots. His favorite time of day is golden hour, especially when the fluffy white clouds are tinted with orange hues, reminding him of his first dog, Gureum. 

Jeongguk has a slight addiction to black coffee, even if it makes his stomach hurt on the odd occasions (and you suggest he tries tea instead). He likes his eggs scrambled, and he prefers waffles over pancakes. He has plenty of awful habits like singing karaoke at four in the morning followed by cooking a pot of instant ramen to satiate his brutal cravings (yes, his food preferences are vital to your understanding of who Jeongguk is as a person, down to his core). 

He tells you about his trip to Chicago some months ago where he definitely deepthroated a deep dish pizza after being dared by Seokjin. As much as he loved traveling, he was easily home-sick and desperately missing his fix of samgyeopsal. In fact, he tells you he would love to invite you over one day so he can make you a meal. And thank God for that because you are not handy in the kitchen whatsoever. 

You learn that not necessarily all of his tattoos have meaning. The tiger is an emblem of his country while the tiger lily is his birth flower, and it is a silent, desperate plea to be loved. There’s a silly emoji on his middle finger just because he thinks it’s funny. He hates having to cover it up when he goes to work (tattoos may not have been the smartest idea knowing that he has to keep his identity a secret, but the damage is already done), and he’s certain that everybody judges him for the ink on his arms. 

“As long as you like your tattoos, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.” You offer him a warm smile as though nothing could ever hurt him. God, how he wishes that was true. 

For some reason, Jeongguk doesn’t know how to react to your words. He’s only ever been told to cover up his skin as if he has something to be ashamed of.  

In exchange for his stories, you trade Jeongguk pieces of your life. How your favorite memory from youth was when you had taken the city bus an hour and a half down to the beach with your brother, San, where you’d build sand castles on the brink of collapse. Sometimes, the smell of salt air and the longing for August still lingers to this day. 

You tell him about your attempt at joining the knitting club so you could make cute sweaters and vests. They were never perfect. But at least they kept your brother warm during the winters. Besides, you had fun playing dress-up with him. Jeongguk finds that perhaps the boldest thing you’ve ever done is bleach your hair strawberry blonde, only for it to turn out orange. 

His laughter blooms through his chest when you tell him about the time you almost set the microwave on fire. Your mom never told you that aluminum foil doesn’t belong in there, and you had to learn that the hard way. That’s probably why you should never set foot in the kitchen again. Nevertheless, you made mistake after mistake just so that San could have food on the table everyday after school. At least you’ve perfected the art of cutting fruit at this point ー no cooking skills required. 

Although the two of you talk for what seems like hours, you can’t help but think there’s so much more to this man, and he’s unwilling to share. It doesn’t necessarily bother you because you, too, have secrets of your own. You can’t expect him to reveal everything about his life, even if he never does. 

It’s well into the evening when Jeongguk walks you home. The path is quiet. It’s illuminated by the dim light of the street lamps. It feels like a scene from a movie you’ve once watched ー the origin of all your teenage fantasies. But this is real. You’re just a girl, standing in front of a boy, and that’s where it all begins. 

“y/n?” The way he says your name brings you to a halt. His voice, although usually confident, is timid and uncertain. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right? We still have a lot to talk about.” He looks at you with stars in his eyes, although none of them belong to you, and they could never be yours. 

Your lips press together in a tight line, nodding your head in affirmation. As you bid your goodbyes, you wonder if it would be inappropriate to give him a hug. After all, you’ve only just met the day prior, and this is nothing but pretend. Yet how will you ever grow accustomed to the touch of your husband?

Your arms remain crossed over your chest. You look down at your shoes, kicking a loose pebble at the front of your door, contemplating. 

But he reaches for your hand, lightly grasping around your fingers. You jolt back as if he set your nerves aflame. Your gaze lifts toward his eyes, but it quickly lowers as Jeongguk descends down to one knee. 

Your heart pounds against your chest, and you pray that he cannot hear it. 

“I’m sorry I don’t have a proper ring…” He begins. “I hope you can accept this for now, and I swear I’ll get a diamond on your hand one day ー As big as you want.” 

Jeongguk carefully pulls a small metal band from his pocket. It can easily be confused for the end piece of a keychain ー perhaps it’s something that his daughter had left behind in his coat, never to be remembered. But for Jeongguk, he knows perfectly well that it’s the pin from a grenade he had tossed the week prior on an escape mission. He slides the ring onto your finger, and although it is slightly too large, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“I may not have been your first choice of a partner, and for all I know, I could have been dead last, but thank you for sticking by me. I swear I’ll take care of you. I’ll hold your heart with gentle hands, and I won’t ever let it break.” 

After all, this is just pretend. 

But for some reason, his voice sounds so earnest, and you almost believe him. To be frank, you never really cared about lavish weddings and seven carat diamonds. If you were to ever look for a companion, all you could ask for is an honest partner. 

Too bad Jeon Jeongguk is anything but that.

Throughout the next week, you spend more and more time getting to know your new “boyfriend.” Because of this, you have to put your side hustle on pause and constantly decline assignments on your burner phone. You certainly wouldn’t want Jeongguk to overhear your plans to murder while he sits pretty beside you, waiting to hear about your day ー your hopes, your dreams, and anything else that’s on your mind. But it would be a shame if you cut your dates early, only to spend less than a second to put a bullet through your enemies’ heads.

You’d have much more fun with Jeongguk instead. Because he tends to plan the cutest surprise dates, and they’re so incredibly thoughtful. Sometimes, Minji would accompany your dates when Seokjin can’t babysit (he’s too busy trying to find his own baby mama so he can prove Minji wrong). Nevertheless, Minji adores the time that you spend together because it feels like you’re a real family.

The three of you would drive to the movies, play boardgames, and eat ice cream for dinner. Jeongguk had even taken you both to the annual carnival that you desperately wanted to check out. He wasn’t fond of going because those claw machines and arcade games are absolute scams! Yet you caught the smug grin on his face when he finally won a stuffed bunny after downing fifty bucks. He was just so addicted to the thrill of nearly winning: “I could have gotten that!” 

During your dates, you would laugh for hours on end, but by the end of the night, Minji would fall asleep on her father’s shoulder. That’s usually your cue to head home. Sometimes, you think that he might kiss you goodnight, but he never does. His lips only ever brush your knuckles like the gentleman that he is. 

…

True to his word, Jeongguk invites you over for dinner the following Friday.

When you arrive at his apartment, you are instantly the worst houseguest known to mankind. Your umbrella is dripping wet from the pouring rain, effectively ruining Jeongguk’s wooden floors. However, that’s not the problem that Jeongguk has with you. The problem is that you’re unable to stop laughing at Jeongguk’s attire. 

Surely, your parents had taught you to be kind, especially to your hosts. Well, when Jeongguk swings the door open, revealing a frilly apron, something akin to what your grandmother would wear, you couldn’t help it! A picture of My Melody is stamped onto the chest, staring straight into your soul. 

It isn’t lost on you ー the irony of a big, strong man, no doubt subjected to dress up in his daughter’s choice of clothing. 

“Don’t laugh at me,” Jeongguk pouts, tilting his head like a puppy. 

You stifle your giggle behind a tight lipped smile, but you’re so close to bursting at the seams. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

After placing your shoes at the door, Jeongguk leads you into his humble abode. He takes the bottle of chardonnay from your hands, thanking you for the gift, and places it onto the dining table. 

“Dinner should be ready in an hour,” he informs you. 

“I know I’m not very useful in the kitchen, but if you need help-” 

Before you can even think about lifting a finger, Jeongguk is quick to suggest an alternative. “No, don't worry, you’re my guest. Just relax, okay? Minny is in the living room. You should spend time with her.” 

In the adjacent room, Minji is crouched over her study material. Her worksheets spread across the coffee table. Each question covers a different subject: basic biology, political science, religion and ethics, foreign language, etc. You never quite realized how much pressure children face in the education system. 

After all, you were never really concerned with grades. You never thought about applying to the top school in the nation. In fact, your grades had fallen down a slippery slope by the time you were in high school. Rather, all of your time was dedicated to earning money and supporting your family. 

When you sit beside Minji, she beckons you closer before you can even greet her. “I’m dying. Help me,” she pleads with wide eyes. You look down to see her math homework ー fractions, Minji’s sworn enemy. 

“Appa wants me to study, but he won’t give me the answers,” Minji whines. 

You can’t help but chuckle. “Minny, you have to figure out the answers on your own if you want to do well.”

The sound of your advice makes her drop her head on the table with a soft thump. 

“Here, let’s do a few questions together,” you suggest. 

Try as you might, you only manage to complete half of the assignment. Minji huffs, slightly frustrated when she doesn’t understand the concept. 

You pat her back, consoling the small child. “Once you eat dinner, you’ll have more brain energy. Maybe you just need a break.” 

A lightbulb goes off above her head, and she springs to her feet. “Appa! Can I give eomma a tour of the house?” 

You tilt your head, amused by the sound of Minji calling you her mother. 

“That sounds like a great idea!” Jeongguk cranes his neck to peek at his devious daughter. “Just make sure you study again when you’re done.” 

Minji takes her father’s approval as a cue to grab your hand in hers, showing you every corner of the house ー all of her drawings taped to the fridge, her favorite stuffed animals lined up at the end of the bed, and the sparkly clean toilet where she poops every morning. After describing everything in excruciating detail, you could have sworn that Minji would run out of words to say. But she never does. 

“What’s behind that door?” You point to the end of the hall. 

“That’s appa’s bedroom. He told me I should never go in there unless he gives me permission.” 

You suppose it’s healthy to set boundaries between you and your child. It’s not like Jeongguk has distasteful art hanging on his walls, and it’s not likely that he’s hiding a dead body in there. He doesn’t seem to be the type to store skeletons in the closet. You, on the other hand, now that’s a different story. Perhaps Jeongguk just needs a little privacy at the end of every night. 

Minji’s voice breaks you out of your reverie. “Eomma! This is your room! Well, it’s a guest room, but appa says it’s basically yours if you ever want a place to stay.” 

You step into the final room, glancing around the walls at a loss of words. Your eyes are drawn to the shelves. They’re brimming with so many novels. It’s like your own personal library. You could probably spend the entire day just browsing through each book. 

As you slide open one of the drawers, you’re surprised to find an array of period products. There are also makeup wipes, an abundance of face masks, some sunscreen, and essential oils (apparently, women love that sort of stuff according to an article Jeongguk had bookmarked). There’s even a candle that’s labeled ‘ocean breeze.’

“Do you like it?” Minji looks up at you with wide, glimmering eyes as she uncaps the candle, shoving her entire nose against the wax with a hard whiff. 

“I love it, Minny, thank you for the tour. I really appreciate it. You should get back to your studies. I’ll help your dad with dinner, but if you need my help, just call me, okay?” 

Minji sniffles theatrically and drags her feet into the living room. 

You head towards the kitchen to find Jeongguk slicing a daikon radish with military precision. There’s soft music playing in the background, accompanied by the pouring rain outside, occasionally interrupted by the soft huff of frustration when Jeongguk’s bangs cover his eyes. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to his elbows, revealing his strong forearms covered in tattoos. 

Jeongguk finally looks up at you in the doorway. He flashes you a smile ー delighted, and very much enamored. “How was the tour?” 

“Your home is so cozy. But I don’t know if I was supposed to look at the top secret file you forgot to put away.” 

“I- WHAT?” He yelps. The shock on his face is quickly replaced with an acute pain. The knife had sliced through his palm upon one careless motion. 

“Oh, fuck,” he mutters under his breath, ensuring that Minji won’t hear his foul language.

Jeongguk drops the radish onto the cutting board with a thud. He forces pressure onto the wound with the pad of his thumb to stop the bleeding. In actuality, he’s more concerned about the food than he is about his finger. 

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You rush over to his side, reaching for his wrist. “Let’s run it under cold water.” 

The two of you waddle towards the small sink, attached by the hip. 

“I was kidding about the secret files. I’m sorry about the cut.” You’re ridden with guilt, seeing that your mindless joke had cost Jeongguk his hand. 

“No, no, you don’t have to apologize. It was my fault. I was the one holding the knife.” 

You shake your head. “Don’t blame yourself either. It happens. I get cuts all the time.” If there’s ever a blade against your skin, it’s usually by the hands of your enemies. You, on the other hand, are a pro when it comes to handling knives. 

Jeongguk shuts the faucet off, examining the cut. It’s shallow. You could hardly see it.

“I’ll grab a bandaid for you,” you offer, already sprinting down the hallway. 

“They’re in the bathroom! Medicine cabinet!” Jeongguk shouts. 

“I know! Minny gave me a tour of everything,” you shout back. You pluck the ointment and the familiar Hello Kitty bandages off the shelf before shuffling back to the kitchen. “Minny shared way too much information about the inventory of your medicine cabinet. Apparently, you have two morphine capsules left. You should get a refill on those.” 

Jeongguk hums in recognition, and you wonder why he would need a painkiller as strong as morphine. 

Taking Jeongguk’s hand in yours, you assess the cut and gently blow on the appendages with the purse of your lips. You place the pink bandage onto his hand, and out of habit, you give him a quick kiss on the booboo. 

When you pull back, you’re absolutely mortified. You avoid his gaze, trying to hide your own humiliation. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that. The kids at the daycare always ask for a kiss when they’re injured.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” A rosy hue dusts over Jeongguk’s cheeks. Why is he so shy when he’s usually the bold and courageous one? He’ll be sure to call Seokjin tonight to ask what this means ー to be so flustered and afflicted by your touch. Is his skin supposed to feel like it’s on fire? 

With the look on his face, you’re not quite sure who’s more embarrassed. So you run towards the sink and nervously wash your hands, practically rubbing the skin raw. 

“I’ll cut the radish for you.” You take his place by the cutting board. 

When he asks if you’re sure, you just hum in response, having already started, and he succumbs to your offer. Typically, Jeongguk would not be willing to accept anyone’s help. But there’s warmth and sincerity in your tone.

“Let me tie this for you.” Jeongguk steps behind you, lightly brushing your hair back to keep it out of your eyes. 

Heat rushes to your face, and you nod in agreement. Instantly, Jeongguk separates your hair into three different strands.

“You know how to braid?” you ask, chopping away at the radish. “You can just tie a simple ponytail if you want.” 

“Minny said she wanted to go to school with a French braid. I didn’t know how to do it, so I looked at a video online. I’m not that good, but let me practice, okay?” He ties off your hair with the elastic that he keeps on his wrist for standby. “Tadaaa!” A proud grin sits on his pretty lips. 

You can tell that the braid is a little too loose for your liking, but you’ll be sure to show him how to properly braid later. Perhaps after dinner. “How does it look?” You wonder. 

“You’re perfect,” Jeongguk says affirmatively, sweet as ever. “Here, let me give you an apron.” 

Before you know it, he loops a string of fabric over your head. It sits loosely on the back of your neck. Jeongguk’s hand rests on your shoulder blade, pushing your hips against the counter as he reaches to tie the string around the small of your back. He fixates on the knot that tethers around his thick fingers as he works on the fabric. His breath is hot against your neck. You can feel the heat radiate off of him. 

When he pulls back, you swallow the lump in your throat, sighing a breath of relief. “Thanks,” you murmur. 

The worst part is that Jeongguk doesn’t even realize the effect that he has on you. You wonder when he’ll put an end to this madness. Because at this rate, you think you might explode if he inches any closer to you. 

As it seems, fate has other plans. 

While he watches you cook, he hovers behind you; not because he’s controlling, but because he wants to make sure you’re safe. He has to admit that you’re skilled with a knife, but your cooking techniques aren’t quite there. 

“When you cut, curl your fingers and tuck your knuckles underneath them.” Jeongguk inches closer and places his chin on the crown of your head. He slots himself against your back as his protective arms cage you against the marble counter. His hands slide down from your wrist, careful not to startle you, before cupping them around your fingers. He gently guides your hand, ensuring that you don’t cut yourself. 

You don’t realize that you’ve been holding your breath until he steps away. Maybe cooking isn’t as bad as you make it out to be.

The heavy downpour of rain patters against the windows. 

“It looks like the weather is getting worse. I didn’t realize it would storm tonight,” Jeongguk peeks between the blinds before lighting a few candles. The lamps had been flickering because of the torrential rain. “The roads aren’t very safe. If you want to stay over, you can take the guest room.” 

You nearly drop the cutlery on the table in the midst of setting up dinner. “Ar- are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother.” 

“Stop with that, you’re never a bother,” he reassures you. “If you want, I’ll drive you home first thing tomorrow morning.” 

You think about the invitation before ultimately deciding to accept. “Thank you, Jeongguk. And by the way, I really appreciate how you set the room up for me.” You shoot him a grateful smile. 

“Anything for my wife.” The warmth of his words makes your heart flutter. 

When the table is finally set, the three of you settle down for dinner. 

You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at the beautiful arrangement of food you have yet to touch. There’s tender pork belly, fermented shrimp, spicy oyster radish, fresh garlic, and pickled cabbage among a bunch of other side dishes you can’t even put a name to. 

“You said you were hungry, right?” Jeongguk picks up the cabbage leaf and stuffs the ingredients inside. He wraps it into a roll and places it on top of your fluffy white rice. 

Watching the steam rise in front of you, you nearly bawl from how delicious it smells. The tears threaten to spill from the corners of your eyes. 

Nobody has ever made you a home-cooked meal since your parents had passed. 

“Are you- uhm,” Jeongguk lifts his hand, not knowing what to do with his own limbs. A set of chopsticks rests between his thumb and pointer finger, fish cake tucked between the silver metal. It hovers halfway across the table, abruptly stopping before he could reach your bowl. “You can cry, it’s okay-” 

You don’t dare to move a single muscle when the tear falls down your cheeks. 

Minji reaches over to wipe the droplet away. You can’t tell if she wants to comfort you, or rather, she’s just looking to steal a bite of your pork belly. But you’re inclined to believe it’s the former. Her father had already served a piece of meat in her bowl. 

“It’s okay, eomma. You can cry. Just… don’t do it over the dishes. You don’t want your food to be salty,” Minji advises. 

Jeongguk calls his daughter’s name, scolding. He plucks out a few tissues from the box and passes them across the table. 

You wipe your eyes, praying that the tears will stop. “I’m sorry, I’m fine,” you shake your head. “I just don’t really remember the last time I had a home-cooked meal with anyone other than myself. I think my parents were the last people to ever cook for me.” 

“What about your brother?” Jeongguk inquires. 

“I’ve always made food for him growing up, and ever since he went to university, he’s been away from home. I really haven’t seen him in a while.” A sullen smile tugs on your lips. “We usually just talk on the phone.” 

Jeongguk topples more food onto your bowl, filling it to the brim. “Whenever you come over, you can have any kind of food that you want. Just name it, and it’ll be yours. Even if I don’t know how to make it, I’ll learn. Now let’s eat up, okay?” He picks up a piece of pork belly, prepared to bribe you like a child who hasn’t stopped crying. 

You open your mouth, allowing him to feed you, humming in satisfaction. You mutter a thank you before putting on your bravest smile as the rain pours outside. 

It’s late in the night when you hear a soft sniffle that echoes from the other side of the bedroom door, followed by a dull strike against the wooden surface, a call for your attention.

“Eomma?”

It never takes you by surprise when a child who isn’t yours calls you their mother. It happens often enough at the daycare center. Tiny humans let the term of endearment slip from their loose lips ー some variation of “mom,” “mommy,” or “eomma.” 

These children cry for you when they have trouble opening their chocolate milk, or when they get a “booboo” from their arts and crafts activity, nothing but a measly, barely-there papercut. These children have an understanding that they’re safe with you. That you’d take care of them like a mother would, opening their bottles, helping to clean their mess, kissing their pain away, and wiping the tears dry. Sometimes they don’t notice their honest mistake, having called you their mother. Other times, they’re apologetic and embarrassed. But what’s there to be embarrassed about? 

The vocabulary of children is limited to only a few hundred words, but they always resort to the one thing they know. Whether it is, “mom,” “mommy,” “eomma,” or so on and so forth, they trust you in the purest form. They feel protected and comforted by you. 

Although you’ve heard it a dozen times before, you’ve never seen a child mean it so earnestly, not like Minji, and definitely not at two in the morning. 

You open the bedroom door, looking down to see her tear stained cheeks. The instinct to protect kicks in like second nature. “Minny, what’s wrong?” 

Lightning flashes through the sky, followed by a loud crash of thunder. The little girl flinches with a yelp, squeezing her eyes shut, pressing her hands against her ears. 

“It’s so loud, ‘m scared,” Minji pouts. 

You crouch down to wrap your arms around her shoulders, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. She shivers in your hold, trying to calm down as you rub soothing circles onto her back. 

“Don’t worry, Minny. The thunder can’t catch you while you’re in here,” you murmur, adjusting the nightcap on the top of her head. “You’re always safe with me.” 

“Can I sleep with you and appa tonight?” Minji asks. 

“Th- the both of us?” Your eyes widen. Perhaps Minji doesn’t quite understand the terms of your arrangement. You’re not actually her mom, and Jeongguk isn’t really your husband. Certainly, sleeping in the same bed as Jeongguk crosses some imaginary boundary. “I- I don’t know if appa would-” 

“Can we ask him?” Minji pleads, and she looks like she’s about to burst. It doesn’t hurt to try, right?

So you relent, and the two of you tiptoe down the hall to Jeongguk’s bedroom, hand-in-hand. There’s a light that leaks from the bottom of the doorway. Could he possibly be awake this late in the night? 

You motion at the door, encouraging Minji to knock. She has to be a big girl, expressing her needs, asking for help when she needs it. 

“Appa!” Minji whacks the palm of her hand against the wooden surface, and you have to correct her form. You squeeze her hands into a fist, showing her how to properly knock and urge her to try again. 

On the other side, you can hear the shuffle of papers and the sound of wheels scraping against the linoleum floor, followed by the pad of footsteps. The door swings open, revealing a set of sleepy eyes, shrouded behind a pair of glasses. Jeongguk’s hair is disheveled, having run his hands through his overgrown mane a million times (he’s been pondering whether he should cut it, but you’ve shyly expressed how he looks handsome either way, and right now is no exception). 

“Appa, can I sleep with the both of you tonight?” Minji hiccups between sniffles, and a tear treads down her cheek. When a crash of thunder sounds through the air, she lurches forward to wrap her arms around her father’s legs, shaking like a leaf.

Jeongguk pats the top of Minji’s head to comfort her. “What’s wrong? What happened?” 

“The sky,” Minji shakes her head, pressing her face deeper into her father’s thigh. “Too loud. It’s scary. Wanna sleep with you and eomma.” 

Normally, Jeongguk would be stressed, weighing his options, trying to determine the best course of action for his child. But there’s a sigh of relief that slips from his lips when his gaze meets yours. There’s a deep blush that spreads across his cheeks. “Is this okay with you?” His lips move in silence, mouthing the words, only for you to see.

In response, you nod your head and flash him a concerned smile. “You?” You mouth the words right back. 

Jeongguk’s answer is obvious when he wraps his arms around the little girl and lifts her into the air. “Let’s go to sleep, Minny.”

Jeongguk taps his chin, pondering, as he stares at the little girl sandwiched in the center of his bed. “Something doesn’t feel right.” But there’s an unmistakable glimmer in his eyes. As tired as he is, he doesn’t seem to let it show. “You know what we should do?” 

Before you can respond, he’s already darting out of the bedroom. He stumbles into the living area, grabbing all the mismatched furniture that he can find. There’s a coat rack in one hand and a stool in another. He runs to grab a fishing pole from the closet, one that he had stolen from Seokjin and never returned. 

“What’re you doing?” Your brows furrow, confused. But the smile on your face tells him that you’re thoroughly entertained. 

“We’re building a fort! Come help me!” He takes hold of your hand and leads you into the living room. “Here, take as many pillows as you can.” Instantly, he holds out a stack of cushions. And who are you to say no? 

With your inventory in hand, you run back to Jeongguk’s bedroom and plop them down onto the bed. “Minny, put the pillows wherever you want! Make it comfy for yourself.” 

The three of you get to work, constructing a pillow fort, and suddenly, you’re five years old all over again. 

Jeongguk returns with spare bed sheets and throw-blankets, tenting them over the makeshift poles. When you’re finally satisfied with your fort, the two of you climb onto the mattress on either side of Minji, huffing and puffing from all the energy exerted. 

“That was fun,” you say, exasperated. A beat of silence passes by as you catch your breath. “Thank you again for letting me sleep over, by the way.” 

There’s fondness in Jeongguk’s eyes as he turns to look at you. “I hope you know that you can stay as long as you want, and you’re always welcomed whenever.” His sentiment makes your heart beat a little faster. “I told you I’d take care of you.” 

“You should know…” As you stare at the roof of the makeshift fort, you try to make sense of how you ended up here. It doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel like you deserve it. “Taking care of me is more trouble than it’s worth.” 

Jeongguk’s voice is stern and relentless. “It’s not trouble. Not if it’s you. Do you really think I scare so easily?” 

You think you might cry, but you’ve already used up more than enough tears from your daily allowance. So you turn to thank him, only to be met with Jeongguk’s half-lidded eyes. He only hums in response ー there’s no need to thank him. 

His face is illuminated by the faint glow of the desk lamp on the other side of the room, the one he abandoned in favor of lulling his precious daughter to sleep. Minji holds her father’s hand while you stroke her hair. Within a few short minutes, she’s sound-asleep. The room is quiet, save for her soft snores. 

“Poor Minny, I hope that this doesn’t ruin her sleep schedule,” you whisper into the night. 

“She might need a nap tomorrow, but that’s okay. It happens sometimes.” Jeongguk lets out a yawn as he tugs the blankets up his shoulders. 

You remind him with gentle caution, “What about you? You shouldn’t sleep so late.” 

“I know, I know.” He presses his palms against his eyes, utterly exhausted. “I just wanted to squeeze one more chapter in.” 

You peek out from the gap in the fort, scanning the mess that lies on top of Jeongguk’s desk. Books are stacked across two different piles, separated by genre ー One of them being social psychology books required for his research; “How to Win Friends and Influence People” sits on the very top. 

Another stack is dedicated to the parenting books he often checks out from the library. There are Hello Kitty post-it notes that fill up nearly every page, bookmarked for future reference. 

Your eyes return to Jeongguk’s figure, convinced that you can steal a glance, evaluating his exhausted state. But he already has his eyes trained on you, albeit very groggy. A dopey grin stretches across his lips. If he wasn’t already tired before, he definitely is now. 

“You don’t have to do all this alone, Jeongguk. You need to rest.” You flash him a matching smile, hoping that the sentiment reaches him. “I don’t think that you scare easily, but I don’t think you’re immune to it either. And that’s perfectly okay. We’re all just people trying to get by.” 

Jeongguk sinks deeper into the pillows, succumbing to his sleepy desires. “Thank you,” he murmurs, slurring his words. Another yawn slips from his lips. “I’m just used to it 一 being on my own.” 

“Well, you’re not on your own anymore. You can count on me. We’re a team, remember?” 

Jeongguk hums, reduced to non-verbal responses that don’t require much energy. Exhaustion tugs at his eyelids until they’re shut. He makes a mental note to talk about this with you another day. 

You wave a hand in front of his face, convinced that he’s far gone from the state of consciousness. “If it makes you feel better, I can head back to my room now,” you whisper. You think it might be futile to warn him, considering he’s not awake. But as you peel the blanket back, one foot off the bed, there’s a warmth that envelops your wrist, and you halt in your tracks. 

“Stay,” Jeongguk, as tired as he is, manages to mutter with conviction. 

His grip doesn’t falter, and so, you relent. You crawl back beneath the sheets and let the night fade into dawn. 

The sound of rain splashes against the window. The petrichor smells like childhood. It feels like home, and Jeongguk has never slept so soundlessly in his entire life. 

Somehow, Jeongguk wakes up long before you, and you want to curse him for looking so handsome at the crack of dawn. His hair, although disheveled, looks perfectly imperfect. His shirt, as loose as it is, hugs his body in all the right places, sweatpants hanging low on his hips. His round specs perch on the bridge of his nose. 

“What do you think about going on a family outing?” Jeongguk suggests over breakfast. 

Minji’s eyes widen as excitement fills her tiny frame.

“That sounds like a fun idea,” you chime. “We should spend more time together so we can be perfect for the interview.” Because loving this man and his daughter is nothing more than a performance, right? 

 “Maybe we can stop at the convenience store and have a picnic in the park. What do you think?” In Jeongguk’s mind, he maps the layout of the market, pinpointing the food that the three of you would enjoy: kimbap, dried squid, potato chips, banana milk, and even fish shaped ice cream. 

“The weather cleared up today. It’s beautiful outside.” You say, chowing down on a bite of strawberries. 

Jeongguk raises a brow, questioning. “You want to go today? I thought you would want to go home after spending the night.” 

“I don’t have much else planned on a Sunday. It gets kind of lonely at my house,” you shrug. “Are you sick of me already?” 

But Jeongguk shakes his head. He’d be foolish to ever push you away. 

…

In sync, both you and Minji enthusiastically bounce on your feet through the streets of Seoul. You could easily pass as a family from that simple action alone. It’s evident when elders cross paths with you, a fond smile sitting on their faces: “You have a beautiful family!” There’s no denying that. The three of you are picture perfect as you link hands on either side of Minji because she is, in fact, the center of your universe. 

When you arrive at the convenience store, Jeongguk picks out a variety of nutritious food while Minji tries to slip cookies into the basket. She’s convinced that her father is not looking because he’s too busy sneaking glances at you from the other end of the snack aisle. He doesn’t think anyone would notice, but Minji surely does. 

For some reason, he feels so content standing in a supermarket with his wife who picks the freshest fruit, and his daughter who tries to distract him from seeing the junk food in her hands. In fact, he could probably spend the entire day comparing vegetable prices, and he would still have the time of his life with you. He used to hate running errands, unless it was doing laundry. But now, he doesn’t seem to mind it. Perhaps it’s because he has two companions at his side, and it feels a little less lonely. 

“Jeongguk?” You call his name from down the aisle. “Do you want me to grab coffee for you?” You reach for the top shelf on your tippy toes, struggling to grip your hands around the bottle. 

Within an instant, Jeongguk is already at your side. He wraps an arm around your waist to prevent you from falling forward. A heat envelops your hand as he wraps his fingers around your palm. “I think I’ll skip on coffee for now. How about tea?” 

Upon hearing his deep voice against the shell of your ear, you grow flustered. The heat of his body makes you freeze, and all you can do is nod your head, stunned. He reaches one shelf over to pluck a large bottle of tea, one that you can all share. 

Although he’s dropped your hand, he keeps a strong arm around your waist. His shoulders are broad enough to simply devour you. Even his chest is so firm pressed against your back.

“By the way, angel, don’t you think we’ve moved on from the formalities?” There’s a pout that rests on his lips. “I’d like it if you could call me something other than Jeongguk. I think it’s more convincing that way.” 

“But that’s your name. What do you want me to call you? Babe? Baby?” 

He shakes his head as he rests his chin in the crook of your neck. His hair brushes against your cheek, and your breath hitches in your throat.

You stutter the words out of your mouth, trying to act unaffected. “H- how about darling? Honey? Sweetie? … Handsome?” 

He doesn’t react to either of them, but handsome definitely makes him giggle. 

You ponder for a moment more. “Then what about love?” 

His arm squeezes your waist a little tighter as he presses an innocent kiss to your cheek. “That’s perfect, angel.” 

He unravels himself from you as you stare blankly at the beverage aisle in complete awe. You brush your fingertips against your cheek where his warmth lingers. 

This is still practice… right? 

As you stroll through the park, you come across a live performance at the base of the fountain. There’s a man playing guitar, and he’s serenading the crowd as he busks for money. The three of you stand to admire just for a moment. 

A few feet away, Minji is spinning and dancing to the soft melody. Meanwhile, Jeongguk moves his head to the beat of the song, singing the words, albeit faintly. 

“You have a pretty voice.” You nudge your shoulders against his to catch his attention. 

“Oh, it’s nothing.” He’s bashful. 

“You should sing for me one day.” You raise your brows, trying to tempt him. 

He contemplates your request, but he teases you with a soft “maybe.” He bumps his shoulder against yours like a high schooler with a crush. 

You return the sentiment in a playful back and forth. His sweet action makes you squeal, but not for the reason that you think. Because the affectionate brush of skin against yours quickly transforms into Jeongguk hauling you into his arms. His thick biceps wrap beneath your thighs, and he lifts you into the air. You can’t stop yourself from giggling when he spins you around. There’s a combination of thrill and euphoria in your chest. 

Jeongguk’s mind briefly wanders back to the conversation he had with Minji right before he tucked her into bed last night. “Appa, do you have a crush on eomma?” 

He had scoffed at the question, brushing it off as if that was far from the truth. But Minji had thought otherwise. “When you have a crush on someone, you think about them all the time. You want them to be happy, and you would do anything to make them smile. Whenever you look at eomma, I can see your ears go red. I think you were shy when she kissed your booboo, and you probably want to kiss her back, right?” For some reason, Minji’s advice seemed to be more introspective than what he could ever pull out of Seokjin. 

Jeongguk shakes his head, returning back to reality as he tucks the memory away. When he places you on the ground, you pant with adrenaline. “I thought I was going to fall.” 

His gaze meets yours, and he playfully brushes his knuckles beneath your chin. The peak of sunset illuminates your eyes, and you look golden. An epiphany flashes through his mind, and Jeongguk mutters a curse that echoes through his thoughts. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He wants to kiss you. 

But as usual, Jeongguk’s mind wins over his heart. He bites his tongue back and offers the next best thing: “Do you think I’d ever let you fall?” He grabs your hands as if nothing had happened ー as if he isn’t falling in love ー and you sway to the beat of the music, skipping to the lawn where you can enjoy your picnic. 

…

The park is bustling with so many individuals going about their day, minding their own business. The city comes alive with all of the action that surrounds you. 

“Eomma, what’s that over there?” Minji points at an art display at the other end of the fountain. There’s a throng of people, crowding around the small space. The three of you pack up your meal, making sure to toss all of your garbage, before heading over to catch sight of the action. 

There are rows of copy paper attached to a fishing line. It strings across a makeshift perimeter, rooted with no rhyme or reason. Apparently, all the buzz is about an interactive exhibit. Anonymous letters from passersby are posted for you to view, and you may even contribute by submitting your own story. You could write about anything you want. 

“That sounds like a fun idea,” Jeongguk suggests. So he grabs paper and markers for the three of you as you get to work. 

Jeongguk tries to steal a glance at your story, but you throw your body over the paper. 

“Hey, no peeking!” you shout. “These stories are supposed to belong to strangers, okay? Let’s keep it anonymous.” 

On the other hand, Minji is enthusiastic to show her father the family portrait she’s drawn. 

As the minutes pass, you finish jotting your thoughts. It’s not perfect by any means, but the sentiment is still there. When all is said and done, you’ve agreed that you wouldn’t read one another’s stories. One day, you both will disclose the contents of your letter, and you will finally know the truth, but today is not that day. 

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Dear reader, If I’m being honest, I’ve always felt undesirable. Nobody has ever confessed their feelings for me. I’ve never been in a relationship, nor have I had my first kiss. I’ve never been stopped in the middle of the street, only to be told that I have a beautiful smile. I’ve always been average at best.  My friends are concerned that I’m lonely. They’re convinced that I need someone to take care of me, but I constantly tell them that I can do it on my own. I’ve done it my entire life.  I’ve held my own hand, swallowed the heartache, and reminded myself “I can do this!” before doing the scary things I never wanted to do. I patted myself on the back when I finished school, earned my first job, and paid all my overdue bills. I raised my younger brother at the age of eighteen as if I was a single mother. I woke up to an empty bed every single day and fed myself scraps of food, even when I didn’t want to. Sometimes, it was burnt, charred, and a little too salty. But that’s what love tastes like, right? Through the smooth sailing and the rough patches, there was no boyfriend, no girlfriend, no partner or lover. Just me. But the more that I think about it, I am so, so tired.  Perhaps I grew up too fast and burned too bright. Because now, I don’t know what to do. There’s a guy that I like, or at least I think I do. Nobody ever taught me how to sort out my feelings. I’ve always been told to give and give and give. I’ve had to sacrifice my life, my time, and all of my energy. I was never allowed to feel anger, sadness, or human connection. I never had anything for myself, and I feel empty.  But lately, being with him brings me to life.  Although I don’t know what it’s like to be in love, this is the closest thing I’ve ever felt to it. When I’m with him, my inner child wants to come out and play. That little girl has always lived in my imagination. I don’t know her very well, but she’s running around, laughing and dancing as if she knows no pain. With him, she is always reminded that she is beautiful and spectacular. That she is stronger than anyone he knows. She is safe. She is protected. Above all, she feels seen. She gets ice cream for dinner, and it’s sweet. It doesn’t quite taste like the love she once knew, but somehow, she thinks it’s even more delicious.  Surely, yes, I can take care of myself. But maybe we can learn to take care of each other. 

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Hi. I don’t know who cares to read this, but if you do, welcome.  Where do I even begin? I know this sounds pathetic, but… I don’t think anyone has ever truly understood me for who I am. Perhaps that’s my fault. I constantly reinvent myself to be the person that they want me to be. Society has so many expectations as to how I should look, how I should act, and how I should feel.  Let me paint you a picture. I’m big ー horribly buff. I have tattoos and long hair. All the neighborhood grandmas tell me I should cut it because I’d be more handsome. They even tell their grandchildren not to look up to me because I’m far from being an aspiration. Even if I’m the most charming person in the room… if I change my appearance ー if I lose weight, cover my tattoos, and buzz off my hair, they’d find another reason to hate me. It’ll never be enough. They’ll always perceive me as the bad guy and villainize me for everything I do. They say it’s better to be feared than to be loved if I cannot be both. But… I think I want to be loved. I want to be loved so bad that I would do anything to make people look at me. Yet they all shove their unwanted opinions down my throat, and I have nothing left to swallow but my own pride. I have no choice but to be exactly what they want.  Most people assume that I’m indestructible. Fortified. That I don’t have a single worry in this world. They think that I can shoulder all of these burdens, and nothing could possibly hurt me. Supposedly, I don’t ever cry ー I never break or bend or shatter because showing emotion is a sign that I’ve already lost.  But it’s not true.  I’m softer than I look. I worry that I’m not good enough. I feel like I suck at my job, and I constantly make mistakes. I don’t know how to be a good father, but I try.  I don’t really know what I want to say. I just wish that people didn’t feel entitled to my body. My body is my own except when it isn’t. It happens more often than not. Maybe then, I could finally be myself, whoever that may be.  It sounds like my life is awful, but I promise it isn’t that bad. Recently, I’ve found a small glimmer of hope. There’s one person who accepts me for who I am. She doesn’t expect me to be anyone but myself. She looks at me like I’m human ー as if I’m someone who’s worth it. Like I’m more than just an idea. She showed me that there’s kindness in this world ー that there’s bravery in being soft. She sees me, and scary enough, I think she can even see right through me. I’ve told her so many vulnerable things about myself, and she could probably stab me in the back with all that she knows. I think it would be worth it though.  There’s still so much I have to tell her. She may not know the whole truth, but one day, she will. I hope she doesn’t leave me when she finds out. Until then, I will take care of her. I will keep her safe and protect her with every inch of my life. I promise.

By the end of the week, you and Jeongguk have amped yourselves up for Yumi’s engagement party. But there’s one problem. 

Jeongguk is late. 

He’s never late. When he needs to pick up his daughter from school, he always shows up thirty minutes before dismissal. On date nights, he knocks on your door while you’re in the midst of putting on makeup, and he gladly watches you doll yourself up for the entire hour. For Jeongguk to be late, something must be terribly wrong. 

The two of you had agreed to meet up at Yumi’s party seeing that Jeongguk was running behind from work. But where could he possibly be when you need him the most? 

Outside of Yumi’s apartment complex, you pace anxiously, twiddling with the engagement present in your hands ー a cast iron skillet that you and Jeongguk had both bought at the department store. From the sidewalk, you can hear the sound of music streaming from the open windows. Endless chatter filters between each beat. You glance at your watch for what feels like the hundredth time. 

“Jeongguk, where are you?” You groan, ready to accept defeat. 

A nervous sigh falls from your lips. Your shoulders slump. If you have to wait any longer, you might just head into the party all on your own and lose face in front of your friends. 

Suddenly, you hear the echo of your name from down the street. Jeongguk is sprinting towards you. He’s a blur of motion. Before you realize it, the air is knocked out of your lungs. Jeongguk had overestimated his speed, missed his landing, and he is colliding into you with open arms. 

“Angel, I’m so sorry I’m late.” He tucks his head against your shoulder, panting. His cheeks are hot, and his hair is disheveled. He murmurs apologies against your skin. The scratch of his voice etches a frown onto your face. 

Between the two of you, Jeongguk is the more composed one. You’ve always known him to be calm, collected, a little silly, but lovely nevertheless. You’ve never seen him quite like this. He’s shaking. 

You squeeze his shoulders in an attempt to peel his body away from yours. But his arms wrap around your waist even tighter, unwilling to part ways. This scene is rather familiar, something akin to a little child seeking comfort. You pat his back, hushing him, as to tell him that everything will be okay. 

So you start counting to ten, reminding him to breathe in and out. You place your hand on his chest, strong and reliable, right over the beat of his heart. His eyes close, concentrating all of his energy on the blooming feeling inside of his ribcage. So you paint a pretty picture for him as you dwell in a little puddle of grief together. 

“My mom used to tell me that if you transport yourself to a happy place, then all your worries will melt away.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t respond, but he hums against your collarbone. He wants nothing more but to hear you talk. He loves the sound of your voice. What is your happy place? 

“These days, I picture myself with you in your house. We’re baking a cake with Minny, and it’s going terribly wrong.” You let out a chuckle, and it’s the sweetest thing Jeongguk has ever heard. “Well, actually, the taste is perfect. You’re the head chef after all, and you’re so talented. You know better than me.” 

You interrupt your own story with something that will definitely make him laugh. “Did you know that I’ve been borrowing cookbooks from the library? I know it sounds ridiculous. I want to get better so you don’t have to cook all the time. It’d be such a shame if I accidentally poisoned you and the cops would swarm in, charging me with second degree murder.” You can feel his smile against your neck. “I found a recipe for buckwheat noodles, and maybe we should try it out next weekend.” 

He nods against your neck, sniffling. He doesn’t want to break it to you, but all you need is a boiling pot of water to cook the noodles. 

“Well anyways, in my happy place, the kitchen is a disaster because there’s icing everywhere. Sprinkles are in your hair. I think I have flour in my bra and butter on my cheek. But we’re having fun, singing along to the radio with all of the wrong lyrics. I’d ask you to dance, and when you’re too scared of looking stupid, Minny would pull out a dance move that’s even sillier than what you could ever imagine. Because even if we can’t do it perfectly, whether it is cooking or dancing or singing, we’re still trying.”

There’s a wet tear that falls onto your collarbone. You trace a circle against Jeongguk’s chest, reminding him to concentrate all of his feelings right there. His shoulders relax and his breath evens out. 

“When we’re in our happy place, we never go hungry. So if you ever feel sad or anxious, then just meet me right here. I’ll bring the cake ー sorry, just the ingredients, actually, but I’ll get better at cooking. I swear! Minny will bring her cute attitude. And you can just bring yourself.” 

There’s a soft breeze that surrounds you. The moonlight conspires with the flight of the fireflies, illuminating the dim sidewalk. The party is long forgotten as you hold onto Jeongguk for just another moment. Reluctantly, he steps back with his head down. His eyes train on the pavement.

“How do you feel, love? Look at me.” You cup his cheeks, and he leans into your touch, nuzzling into your embrace. 

After taking a deep sigh, he lifts his head to reveal a bruised cheek and a gash above his eye, right on the brow bone. The blood runs dry. 

Shock runs through your body. “What happened? Did someone hurt you?” You gently  move his head from side to side, examining every inch of his skin to check for more injuries. But your eyes are frantic. Your hands run through his hair, feeling for bumps and bruises. The search comes up empty, but your throat constricts at the thought of someone hurting your husband. 

You grab the cast iron skillet, wielding it like a weapon with the force of a grip so tight that it threatens to bend beneath your fingers. Your other hand clenches his palm, stomping in the direction he came from so he could lead you towards the perpetrator. 

Whoever did this to Jeongguk is going to pay, and you’re willing to kill whoever it is. Because for him, you would wage a full on war, running straight into your demise if it meant fighting for him. You would barrel through fire, load your rifles, and draw your daggers no matter what it takes. If they ask you to rip your heart out and put it in his hands, you would have considered the deal done long ago. 

Jeongguk is quick to extinguish the fiery passion that fuels your anger, reminding you to not make any rash decisions. The flash of his doe eyes is enough to soothe your worries, and all you want to do is hold him. 

The truth is, Jeongguk had already taken care of the situation. As the story goes, he had accepted a side mission to stop the smuggling of antiques from a museum ー gifts from a billionaire tycoon who had long passed. His heirs had sent the treasures to be appraised in the city before it was quickly intercepted by a smuggling ring. 

Jeongguk managed to save original art from dynasties past (no doubt stolen), rare coins, china sets, and clusters of intricate jewelry. He stopped the ploy before the thieves had even left the warehouse. However, being the best of the best does not mean he is able to escape unscathed every time. 

Jeongguk did not account for the hidden explosives on the agenda. A shrapnel had grazed his skin, forming a deep gash above his brow bone. Had he not been more careful, he would have been in much worse shape. 

Although Jeongguk had completed his mission, barely injured, he can’t help but feel guilty for showing up late. If his wound was much more serious, or perhaps he was left for dead, he would not have made it to Yumi’s engagement party. The last thing Jeongguk wants is to keep you waiting. 

While he zipped through the streets of Seoul, he didn’t even have a chance to think of a lie. All he could think about was running to you. So he says the first thing that comes to mind. “The airbags in my car set off.” 

“You were in a crash? Was Minny with you? What are you doing here? You should go to a hospital!” The words splutter out of your mouth.

His hand cups yours as they rest on his cheeks. “Minny’s with Seokjin today, so don’t worry. The collision was really minor, I swear. I already went to the emergency room, and they said I’ll be good as new.” His voice is eerily calm. 

He laces his fingers with yours and presses his lips against your knuckles before promptly taking the iron skillet from your hands. “I don’t want you to worry, let’s just go to the party, okay?” 

You’re too concerned to even dwell on that tender moment of intimacy. “You worry me too much, you know?” 

“I know, angel. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” 

You squeeze his hand a little tighter as you shake your head. “I don’t need anything. I’m just glad that you’re here.” 

But little do you know, there’s a diamond ring worth millions burning a hole in Jeongguk’s pocket. Some dead billionaire isn’t going to miss it. 

Everyone at the event is captivated by Jeongguk. Of course they would. It’s easy when Jeongguk is so charming in such a deceitful way. He can easily spin different versions of himself after each new greeting, creating a hundred nuances to his personality in an instant. He could tell everyone that he’s the prince of Joseon, and they would easily fall for his lies because of the charisma that he oozes. 

Your friends see him as the best boyfriend in the world, someone who’s the total package and simply put, he’s way out of your league. He’s romantic in every aspect of the word, he’s open about his feelings, and he’s the purest definition of a “girl dad.” What more could you possibly ask for? Whatever it is, Jeongguk is exactly that. 

Even when Jeongguk has no need to impress the men at the party, he has dozens of conversation topics up his sleeve. It’s impressive when he knows basically everything about everything. You name it: video games, boxing, and the federal reserve. This arsenal of information is stored in his mind simply because he’ll never know when he needs to strike up a conversation about camping, barbecuing, or fishing (despite never having an interest to sit and stare at the water with Seokjin for hours on end). Men are so simple minded. They’re absolute fools. 

Thankfully, your brother, San, is just another man who falls for the thinly veiled ruse. He seems to approve of your relationship with Jeongguk. Mostly because he can talk about their passion for different cuts of meat. But also because he sees the way that your “boyfriend” takes care of you in the most subtle ways ー by virtue, it’s the act of noticing. 

Jeongguk walks you through the crowds of people with a guiding hand on your lower back. He fixes your hair when it falls loose in front of your face. He refills your cup with your favorite drink without ever having to ask. He can’t stop talking about how grateful he is to have a chance with you ー how you’re so beautiful and smart and the only thing he ever wants. There’s obviously love and intention in Jeongguk’s eyes whenever he looks at you. Anyone could see that. To be loved is to be known, and Jeongguk knows you like the back of his hand. 

You can feel the pressure of having to prove your relationship when all of the girls gather around, asking invasive questions. How did you convince y/n to go out with you? We almost lost hope for the poor girl. Have you all hung out as a family yet? What does Minji think of your relationship? 

For some reason, it feels like you’re back in high school, listening to locker room gossip. It feels as if they’re judging you. They’re laughing at you. But time and time again, Jeongguk defends you and your honor. Not because you need his help, but because you love the safety and security of his words.

“I don’t appreciate you being passive aggressive. Because to me, y/n is the most precious person in the world. If you have something you want to say, then just say it to my face.” He bites back without ever breaking eye contact. He rolls up the sleeves of his shirt. It’s equal parts intimidating and the most attractive thing you have ever seen. 

All the girls seem to agree when they swallow a trace of spit and nod their heads in obedience. “Sorry, we just wanted to say that you’re both so lucky to find one another.” They drop the subject, but only for a little while. 

Throughout the party, Jeongguk holds you close because he knows how nervous you were to come, and rightfully so. You told him how scared you were to introduce him to all of your friends (he doesn’t see why they deserve that title when they’re nothing but mean girls). Nevertheless, you’re frightened because your relationship with Jeongguk is sacred. Untainted. Unconventional, yes. But it’s protected because only you know about the depths of your bond. After tonight, everything will change. Having your “friends” witness your love so openly feels as if you have to give up another piece of yourself. After making this public knowledge, nothing could ever fully be yours.

But this moment right here is yours to keep, yours to hold, and yours to cherish. Jeon Jeongguk is in your arms, and all you can do is make it known that you are in love. 

“Whatever they say, ignore them, okay? Just look at me.” His arm wraps around your waist, and you relax in his hold. The stars in his eyes keep you captivated, and everything else is long forgotten. He whispers sweet nothings in your ear, scared that if he were to go up one decibel, it would burst the little bubble that you’ve created for yourselves. Perhaps you would disappear if he says your name any louder, and he would wake up to realize that his dream girl is nothing but a figment of his imagination. 

But there’s nothing about this relationship that’s fake. Your brother can see it all. Although you haven’t hung out with him in ages, he’s very intrigued with the man hanging off of your arm. “Jeongguk, when did you realize that y/n was the one?” 

“Stop, we just started dating.” You smack the back of San’s head. But Jeongguk isn’t one to shy away from the question. 

“Well, it’s a funny story. The first time I saw her, I thought I had to talk to her. A few months ago, I dropped my daughter off at the daycare. When I walked past the door, I tripped on my own two feet. I saw y/n reading a story at the front of the class. She was so elegant, graceful, and just so, so gorgeous. My first thought was that she is the most incredible person I’ve ever seen.” Jeongguk tells the story without ever taking his eyes off of you. It’s as if you’re the only person in the whole world. There’s a beaming smile stretched across his face. His dimples are carved into his cheeks. 

“Minji, my daughter, she has a tendency to cry when I’m not there. So when she bursted into tears, y/n asked if she wanted to sit with her and help her read. She put my daughter on her lap, and instantly, Minny stopped crying.

“For weeks, I tried to work up the courage to approach her. I visited as much as I could. I borrowed more materials than I could even finish, and eventually, I had a pile of overdue books sitting in my apartment. When y/n wasn’t busy with the daycare, she worked at the front desk. I thought she might say something about my outstanding charges, but she never did. At that point, I wanted to talk to her so bad, but I was so foolish. I started bringing cups of coffee into the library, thinking that she would yell at me for breaking the rules.” 

“Did it work? Why didn’t you just say something?” San wonders. 

“I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t think she was interested. She barely looked at me. Never tried to initiate small talk,” Jeongguk shrugs. 

Avoiding eye contact is exactly how you show interest in someone. Is there any other way to do it? You had been so nervous to even glance in his general direction! Men don’t ever give you affection, especially not men as gorgeous as Jeongguk. It just felt so wrong to even think about crushing on him. 

“But one day, y/n approached me first by some miracle, and I was so shocked. I- I just thought she was an angel. My daughter was at her side. We talked. One thing led to another. The next thing I knew, I was stressing about what outfit to wear and buying flowers so I could pick her up for a coffee date. I don’t even know how to explain it. Everything just fell into place.” 

You were convinced that Jeongguk had never noticed you before you approached him that fateful day in the non-fiction aisle. But it rings true that Minji had cried some months ago during reading time. You recall all of the details, albeit vaguely. Had Jeongguk been watching all this time? Did he really borrow an excessive amount of books and purposely buy illicit coffee just to get your attention? 

There’s a soft smile that plays on your lips, and Jeongguk is certain that you’re a real life angel. “I hope you know that I waived your overdue fees every single time,” you confess. 

…

At some point in the night, you and Jeongguk ended up separating in the most nightmarish of ways. Your coworkers had looped their arms around yours and pulled you away for some girl talk. 

Meanwhile Jeongguk is at the other end of the hall, playing billiards with all of the other men. He socializes with them as if it’s effortless. He tells them jokes and makes them chuckle, but of course, his laugh is the one that stands out to you the most. He’s enchanting, and you are all but a moth drawn to a flame. He lights up every room he walks into, shining brighter than anything you’ve ever seen.

As you watch Jeongguk have his own fun, you check out of the conversation, barely listening to what Yumi has to say. You couldn’t quite relate to the stories that they’ve shared about their partners ー being engaged, moving in together, trying for children, having sex. 

“y/n, how big is your boyfriend?” 

You ponder the question. “Uhm, I don’t know his weight exactly…” 

“No, no, sweetie, I mean how big is his dick?” 

Your eyes widen in surprise as you shake your head. “We haven’t actually done anything yet. Our relationship is new, y’know. Also, I don’t think that’s any of your business-” 

“You mean you haven’t even seen him naked? Surely you’ve touched him when you’ve made out, right?” Their eyes widen when you shake your head no, trying to sputter a retort. 

“Even if you’re taking it slow, you must know what he likes in bed, right? Spitting? Choking? Spanking? A little bit of roleplay? Does he like to be called daddy?”

You, yourself, nearly choke on your own drink. 

“Most couples get intimate because- I hate to break it to you-” Yumi leans closer to you until her voice is all but a whisper. “All men have needs. If they aren’t met, then he might break up with you and look for satisfaction elsewhere.” 

You don’t know why you would believe Yumi’s words despite Jeongguk’s constant reassurance of how much you mean to him. She’s so fucking infuriating, but could she be right? Does Jeongguk see other women when you’re not around? Does he ever tell you that you’re pretty just for the performance of being a married couple? Has everything he said in the past few weeks been an act? Surely, you don’t know everything about this man, but would he ever lie to you? You bite the inside of your cheek as you anxiously pick on the skin around your nails, thinking about her advice. 

Seemingly, Jeongguk doesn’t know what the conversation is about. But he doesn’t need to be familiar with the details to know that you’re growing anxious. He can see it from the way you fiddle with your hands. From the way you furrow your brows and chew on your lips. From down the hall, he can pick up on your breathing. He can practically hear the hurricane of thoughts swirling around your head.

Before you can drown in your thoughts, Jeongguk makes his way over to you, nursing a glass of champagne in his hand. “Hi, angel.” He whispers against your jaw. His cheeks are flushed pink as his head rests against the crook of your neck, slotting together like two pieces of a puzzle. “Do you want to get out of here? You can stay over at my place tonight if you want,” he offers.  

“What’s wrong? Does it hurt?” You shift your gaze to the gash on his brow. Even when you don’t feel your best, you’re still concerned for those around you. That’s just the person you are. You’re so used to giving yourself away. 

“Kind of,” he says. But it hurts more knowing that you’re not okay. 

You ruffle your hands through his hair, trying to soothe his ache. “Do you want your painkillers?”

“Just want you.” His deep voice rumbles against your collarbone as he presses a shy kiss to your shoulder. “Come on, let’s go home.” He gently grabs your hand in his and leads you out the front door. You don’t even have a chance to say goodbye to all the guests. Quite frankly, you don’t even care. 

The moment you return to Jeongguk’s apartment, you dart to the medicine cabinet, filling a glass of water and instructing him to swallow the morphine pill. To soothe the pain, you apply some ointment onto his injury and gently blow on his gash, hoping that it doesn’t leave a scar to mar his beautiful face. But you avoid eye contact with him as much as you can. All while Jeongguk stares at your pretty lips and your glittery eyes. You look so cute when you’re concerned. A pout rests on your face, and he wants nothing more than to kiss it better. 

But then you bid him goodnight, rushing into the guest room, pacing back and forth behind closed doors. 

Jeongguk sits in the living room, stunned, wondering if he’s done something wrong. Whether his breath smells, or maybe he’s come on too strong. Is it obvious how much he cares for you? Yet a part of him wants you to know, even if you don’t reciprocate. To love you so freely is enough for him. 

For you, the problem is not Jeongguk. It’s the fact that you can’t stop thinking about the conversation from earlier in the night. Yumi’s voice echoes through your thoughts. All men have needs. If they aren’t met, then he might break up with you and look for satisfaction elsewhere.

A part of you needs Jeongguk to tell you that this isn’t true. Your heart and mind may not be able to rest otherwise. So for the sake of your fake relationship, you put on a brave face and patter down the hall to his room. 

…

The soft knock on Jeongguk’s door draws his attention away from the vanity. As soon as he tells you to come in, you hesitantly enter his bedroom. 

His back is turned as he faces the mirror, heedlessly applying his skincare. “What’s up? Do you need anything?” He spins around to meet you with curiosity written on his face. 

You catch a glimpse of his exposed chest, and your cheeks heats up in recognition. The top three buttons of his shirt are undone, seeing that he’s getting ready for bed. He removes his rings and the silver watch from his wrist. 

“Sorry, I- I didn’t know you were indecent.” You turn your head away, avoiding his strong build ー the biceps that bulge beneath his shirt and the muscles that flex with every movement. Your hand shoots up to hide your face in embarrassment. 

He finds it adorable how flustered you get upon seeing a little bit of skin. Still, he makes no effort to button up his shirt. Because that’s all that it is ー just skin. 

You swallow the lump in your throat, and your eyes flicker to the floor as if the rug is the most interesting thing in the world. “Can we talk about something?” 

“Talk?” He approaches the bed, patting the spot beside him. “Come here, what do you want to talk about?” 

You perch yourself onto the mattress bouncing up and down from the weight of the springs. Jeongguk sidles closer to you. His knees knock against yours. He smells like jasmine and musk, and it’s divine. 

“At the party, the girls were talking about relationships,” you begin.  

He hums with a nod, attentive as ever. Jeongguk looks at you as if you’re the only person in the world, but you don’t seem to notice, too preoccupied with anything else but the intensity of his eyes. 

“What did they say?” He wonders, readjusting your necklace so the pendant sits pretty on your neck. 

“Y’know.” You tug on your fingers, finding something to fiddle with. “The usual stuff.”

He reaches for your hands, instantly halting your movements. Soothing your nerves, he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. He knows that you must have mustered a lot of courage to come over and bring this up. “Angel, you have to use your words if you want to tell me what’s on your mind.” 

You grow bashful under his touch, but that’s exactly the problem. “They talked about stuff like this.” You squeeze his palms for emphasis. “Holding hands. Touching. Skinship.” You mumble the last part, too shy to say it out loud: “Kissing.” Turning your cheek towards him, you murmur an apology. “Sorry. You make me nervous.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t fail to notice the way your tongue licks the plump of your lips or the way your throat constricts after swallowing a trace of spit. “Nervous? C’mere- look at me.” 

His deep voice sends a shiver down your spine. It’s authoritative, and you can’t help but follow his orders. 

“I’m not familiar with being this close to someone,” you motion at the lack of space between his body and yours. “I wouldn’t want you to be upset with me if I’m not very affectionate.” 

“Angel, I’d never be upset with you. We can do whatever you want at your own pace.”

“Are you sure you’d never leave me if-”

Jeongguk stops your train of thought before allowing your mind to wander to a dark place. His voice hardens upon hearing such a suggestion. “I never want to even think about that possibility because I’m not letting you go. I’m yours no matter what. You’ll actually have to fight me if you want to push me away. Even then, I’d crawl right back to you.” He truly means every single word that he utters. 

There’s a hint of a smile on your lips. “Sorry. Intimacy is really scary for me,” you confess, hesitating. Jeongguk gives you another moment to collect your thoughts. He’d give you as long as you need, even if it’s a lifetime and all the stars in the night sky have burnt out. 

“But another reason I want to talk to you is because I’m concerned this won’t come across as a real marriage if we’re physically distant, y’know? The girls said that it’s normal for couples to be… intimate.”

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, at least not immediately. He doesn’t react. His eyes are distracted by your mouth ー the way your gloss clings onto your lips and the way it moves so languidly with every word you articulate. 

“Jeongguk- Love?”

The sound of his name never really meant much to him. After all, it’s just an alias. Yet nothing sets him aflame more than the claim that you have on him ー the way that your lips purse when you call him your love.

“I know this sounds silly-” you begin. 

He shakes his head, brows furrowed, effectively wiping away all of your insecurities. “Never.” 

A naive grin spreads across your face. How could you be so foolish to believe that Jeongguk would make you feel anything less than important? Time and time again, he makes you feel heard. He makes you feel seen.

“Go on,” he urges. “Tell me.” 

“Well, I read an article about how looking into your partner’s eyes for a long period of time increases intimacy. It also builds trust and helps to recognize emotion.” It’s ironic how you explain all of this while avoiding his eyes. Instead, you keep them trained on the scar sitting pretty and kissable on his cheek. 

A dimpled smile spreads across Jeongguk’s face. “Okay, we can try,” he agrees. He reaches to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, and you think you might pass away. “But angel, you have to face me if we’re going to do this. I want you to be comfortable.” 

“Right, yeah,” you mumble. “Of course.” Shuffling from the edge of the bed, you turn to face your husband. You tuck your feet beneath your butt and sit on your knees.

“Relax, okay? There’s no need to be nervous around me.” His voice is reassuring. It’s heartwarming. 

You nod your head as you will yourself to meet his gaze. “I can do this. I can do this,” you think to yourself. 

Jeongguk’s pupils glimmer in the lowlight, warm and comforting, and you wonder how anyone could be so handsome. You try to focus on the task at hand, but it’s difficult when he, himself, is so distracting. There’s a beauty mark on his cheek. His jaw. His nose. Beneath his lip. You could trace them all day and night, if only he’d let you. 

Jeongguk’s deep voice cuts through the night. “Is there anything else that you want to try?” 

“M- maybe we could hold hands?” 

“We’ve held hands before.” He laces his fingers between yours so effortlessly, his hand engulfing. 

Your breath hitches in your throat. 

“Does it still make you nervous?” He wonders. 

“A little bit,” you glance at how small your hand looks in his. “But I can get used to it.” 

“Can I suggest something?” 

You nod, agreeing. “Anything.” 

He tilts his head to the side, raising a brow, unconvinced. “Anything? Are you sure?” 

You nod with more confidence. “I’ll tell you if I don’t like it.” 

“Then can I hold you?”

You hesitate for a second, unsure of what that entails. A beat goes by when Jeongguk is prepared to tell you that you’re free to say no. But you wipe that thought away, giving him your full consent.

Not a second passes by before he wraps his tattooed arms around your waist, tugging you onto his lap. Your thighs rest on either side of his hips, straddling him.

A squeak ー a fucking squeak. God, how much cuter can you get? ー slips past your lips. They’re swollen from how you nervously tug on the flesh, tethering it between your teeth. 

“Does this feel better?” There’s a sense of longing that drips from Jeongguk’s honeyed voice. 

“It’s… nice.” Your brain is on the verge of malfunctioning and shutting down upon feeling the heat of his skin against yours. “Better.” Your voice is breathy. It’s self preservation. You exhale deeply in an attempt to calm the flutter of your heart. 

To keep yourself occupied, you trace your fingers across your bare thighs, unsure of what to do with them. Jeongguk had let go of your hands in favor of holding your hips. So you play with the hem of your dress that’s currently riding up your legs. Suddenly, you’re very aware of how little you’re wearing. How your skin is burning beneath his fingertips. 

Jeongguk’s body is radiating, and you can feel the heat between your legs grow, the dampness in your underwear spreading. 

“You can touch me if you want,” he offers. 

You’re not as confident as Jeongguk, but oh, how you wish you were. 

“Do you want to?” He senses your hesitation, yet you nod your head, affirming.

“I do,” you bite the inside of your cheek. “I want to touch you- feel you.” 

Jeongguk wraps his fingers around your wrists, bringing your hands to rest on his broad shoulders. They’re muscular beneath your touch. You curse yourself for letting your mind wander and for letting your panties soak with arousal ー neither of which you can control. 

Somehow, you resist the urge to look down at his physique. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to the elbows, revealing his strong forearms, adorned by the dark tattoos that coil up his muscles. Your gaze darts across his features, struggling to focus on the starlight in his eyes. You switch between the edge of his jaw, the dip of his neck, and the plump of his lips. 

“My eyes are up here, angel.” The corner of his mouth draws into a smile ー so bright and devastatingly beautiful. He hooks a gentle hand beneath your chin, guiding you to meet his stare. “Tell me what you’re thinking about. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” 

Your voice is soft, just barely above a whisper. It’s nearly inaudible. “Thinking about what it would be like to kiss you.” 

The innocence of your words makes Jeongguk blush. He’s never been the type to be so easily affected. After all, he’s the bold one in the relationship ー confident, decisive, dominant. But you make him weak in the knees.

“You don’t have to ask permission to kiss me.” Jeongguk inches closer, considerate hands squeezing around your waist. “You’re my wife.” 

Why does the thought of belonging to Jeongguk make your heart stutter? You’re certain that this is nothing but pretend, yet the only thing that makes you believe this could be real is the soothing circles that Jeongguk draws onto your skin. He’s present. He’s willing. His lips are right there, right in front of you. You could take the leap of faith and close the distance, leaning forward to kiss him. 

So you do. 

When your lips meet, it’s as if the rest of the world has gone silent. Time has stopped, and nothing else matters but the two of you at this moment. 

His lips are pillowy soft against yours. He tastes like champagne and mint. He’s gentle, only applying as much pressure as you do. You melt into his touch, feeling featherlight in his hold. His hands grip your waist so delicately, with love and intention, as if you are the most precious thing in his eyes. 

You pull apart to catch your breath, allowing the air to fill your lungs, regretfully so. If you were to drown, you would want to drown in Jeon Jeongguk. Your eyes flutter open, but you can’t seem to look at anything but his cherry lips. 

“Love…” The term of endearment leaves your lips in a pant, and he grows harder beneath you. “This is going to sound so embarrassing…” Your voice trails off as the heat engulfs your entire body. Your head lowers, feeling self-conscious of your actions. 

Jeongguk nuzzles his nose against your neck as he presses tender kisses on your collarbone. “What is it? You can tell me anything.” 

Your fingernails dig into his strong shoulders, squeezing his taut muscles as you muster the courage to tell him the truth. “That was my first kiss.” 

He peers up at you from beneath his long eyelashes. “That’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Jeongguk shakes his head, squeezing your waist with reassurance. 

Your eyes are half lidded as you murmur a quiet confession, “I want to kiss you again.” Normally, you wouldn’t dare to be so bold, but you feel drunk on his taste.

“You can do whatever you want to me.” Jeongguk draws you closer, dragging your core onto the apex of his thighs, thick and sturdy. “I like anything that you like. Kissing you. Holding you. Just looking at you,” he shrugs. “And if it wasn’t obvious enough… I like you.” 

Jeon Jeongguk makes you absolutely breathless. “Ar- are we still pretending?” 

“Never.” Leaning forward, he brushes his mouth against yours. “I have never once pretended with you.” 

You kiss him back with more fervor, desperate and wanting. You’re more confident now, fully knowing that Jeongguk wants this as much as you do. 

“When you said I could do whatever…” You pull back, thinking about Jeongguk’s previous statement.

He nods his head with the most innocent beam on his face. “I mean it.”

God, you feel like such a pervert. You’ve shared your first kiss with him, something so sweet and innocent. Why couldn’t that be enough for you? You’re sitting on his lap, feeling the broad planes of his chest, and you can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to do more. To feel more. 

You’re ridden with guilt, drowning in your own arousal, but Jeongguk is so kind. He’s understanding. He’s staring at you as if you’re his whole world. He would never dare to objectify you because he’s a gentleman. But… What if you want him to? 

“The girls at the party were also talking about…” Your words begin to trail. 

“About what?” You subconsciously trace circles onto his shoulders, distracting yourself from the conversation, not knowing that Jeongguk’s eyes flutter close because he adores the drag of your nails and the subtle warmth of your fingertips. 

“About… doing it.” Your words come out in a hushed whisper. It feels too inappropriate to say it out loud. Yet you don’t dare to mention how your panties are absolutely ruined. 

“Angel, what did we talk about?” His lips press against your shoulder, at any inch of skin that he can reach. “You have to be more specific.”

Jeongguk has never once made you feel ashamed or embarrassed. He has never laughed at you or told you that you’re being silly. So why is it so difficult to tell him that you want him ー Need him? 

You take the leap of faith because this is your partner ー in life, in death, and in crime. This is Jeongguk. Your one and only lover who never fails to remind you that you are the strongest woman in the world. He who delivers nutritious lunch boxes to you and tucks cute notes into the lid because he knows that they make you smile. Jeon Jeongguk who massages the knots out of your shoulders after a secret night of combat. He who gets pouty when you call him anything other than ‘love.’

There’s no need to hide anything from this man. He’s your home, just as you are his.

“They talked about sex… You know… making love. ” The crude word sounds so wrong leaving your lips. So out of place. It’s dirty, and it’s naughty. “They said all couples do it, but we’ve never…” 

“Do you want to do it because you want to, or is it because your friends told you to?” Jeongguk searches your eyes for clarification. “Because if you feel pressured when you’re not ready-”

“No! I do!” You cling onto his shirt with more urgency. “I want to do it ー with you. I trust you.” You lean closer, brushing your lips against his ear. “You’re my husband.” 

Jeongguk groans at the sound of your words. At the way your fingernails scratch down his chest. At the way you sit so pretty and perfect on top of his lap, pressing your weight into his erection. 

He gulps as if this is the first time he’s ever been nervous in his life. “Why don’t you take off my shirt?” 

“C- can I?” you stutter. 

“Like I said, you can do whatever you want to me. You’re my wife, and I’m yours.” He presses his lips against your brow. “Yours to hold. To kiss. To love.” He kisses your nose. Your chin. Your jaw. He tucks your hair behind your ears and whispers. “I’m yours to make love to.” 

With trembling fingers, you reach for the button that barely holds Jeongguk’s shirt together. 

His hand engulfs yours. “Don’t forget to breathe, in and out, okay?” Jeongguk, patient as ever, waits for your respiration to steady. “You’re safe with me. If you want to stop, just say the word.” 

With each button undone, his shirt falls apart, revealing Jeongguk’s toned abs. As glorious as he is, your eyes are drawn to the scar on the side of his stomach, barely covered by the fabric that hangs off his back. The scar is jagged, and the skin is raised, the tissue is puckered at the edges. 

“Wha- what happened here?” Your fingertips reach down to trace over the scar, but before you make contact, you pull away. 

“You can touch it-” Jeongguk reaffirms. “Wherever you want. I’m yours.” 

Jeongguk’s breath hitches in his throat when your cold hands lightly graze the rough texture, feeling the ghost of his past. But he knows how you’ll respect his boundaries no matter what, and he relaxes, fully knowing that you’ll take care of him. 

“I had surgery when I was younger.” Jeongguk lies. “They took out my appendix.” 

Your brows furrow. There’s no reason not to believe him, but why is the scar so jagged and uneven? Certain parts are wider than others as if the surgeon had twisted a large blade into his abdomen, and not simply sliced to gain access to his organs. 

As usual, Jeongguk can read the concern written on your face. “It’s okay, it didn’t hurt much.” The curve of his lips settle into a warm and reassuring smile. “I promise.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t express any discomfort about his scar, yet you can’t help but wonder what kind of horrors he had to live through. 

To ease your mind, Jeongguk pulls you into his body and presses his hands beneath your thighs. 

A yelp escapes from your lips as he lifts you up. You’re chest to chest with him, legs wrapping around his waist. He presses your back down to the mattress, settling your head onto one of the pillows at the bedpost. 

He hovers above you, a hair's breadth away. 

“Hi,” he whispers against your lips. “You look so stunning.”

You grow shy with all the attention that Jeongguk feeds you. “Hi,” you whisper back. Your legs wrap tighter around his waist. 

“Can I take this off?” Jeongguk glides a finger beneath the strap of your dress.

There’s a rush in your head, feeling dizzy upon nodding your head with so much vigor. 

His lips pair with yours in a quick kiss before calling you a good girl. He shifts his weight off of you so that he can tug you into an upright position and peel the dress off. 

Jeongguk’s eyes widen at your bare chest, having omitted a bra so as to not ruin the outfit. His throat goes dry, and he’s having trouble forming words in his head. You’ve never seen him so speechless. 

Subconsciously, you raise your arms to cover your chest. 

“No, no, no, don’t do that.” Jeongguk wraps his fingers around your wrists, pressing a smooch to your delicate skin. “You’re so pretty like this. Don’t ever hide from me, okay?” 

His words make you shiver. Having someone dote on you as much as Jeongguk is something you’re not used to. But that’s exactly why you’re here, right? So you nod your head and let him pin your hands to the mattress before leading a trail of kisses down your body.

Curious fingers speak freely against your skin, exploring every inch of you. He takes note of every gasp, giggle, and moan that escapes your lips. He presses his swollen lips to your sensitive spots until you keen louder for him, desperately begging for more. His lips wrap around your nipple, sucking on the bud until you whimper. He’s a drooling mess over your tits as he leaves a trail of saliva, marking your skin and claiming you as his. 

Jeongguk furthers his descent down your tummy, placing sweet kisses against the waistband of your panties. He reaches down to feel the leather strap around your upper thigh. It’s the holster that you use to sheathe your knife, and thank God you disarmed before stepping into Jeongguk’s bedroom. 

“I use it to hold my pepper spray,” you murmur a half-ass excuse. “Some of my clothes have shallow pockets.” 

Jeongguk smiles against your skin as he ghosts his lips against your soft thighs. He doesn’t think much of it, but he does think it’s really hot. So he doesn’t bother to unstrap as he continues to worship your body. 

What catches his attention is not the way you’ve soaked through your underwear, as arousing as it is. But rather, he’s intrigued by the faint mark on the outside of your thigh. It’s not a regular, old scar. To Jeongguk, it’s oddly familiar because it’s what appears to be an old bullet wound. 

Jeongguk stutters in disbelief, eyes wide. “What’s this? W- were you sho-” He tries to mentally collect himself as he settles on a choice of words. “Were you hurt? Who hurt you?”

You look down, noticing the circular scar on your outer thigh before shaking it off. “It’s nothing. It was from an injection.” 

“Are you sure? It looks li- It looked serious.” His voice trembles with concern, hands fisting at his sides. 

You pull him up by the collar of his undone shirt, hanging off his broad shoulders. Your lips meet his in a delicate, comforting kiss. Jeongguk visibly relaxes in your hold.  

“I’m fine, really. I just want you.” You claw his shoulders in an attempt to peel the rest of the fabric off. 

Jeongguk sighs, trying to forget about what he had seen. But he’s certain that his mind will wander back to the scar at another point in time. He strips the shirt off his back, carelessly tossing the fabric onto the floor. 

Jeon Jeongguk is mesmerizing. You’ve never seen the entirety of his sleeve, but there it is, in all its glory. There’s a faint beauty mark on his chest, one that you did not account for when tracing all of the scars and marks on his upper body. 

“Tell me you want me,” his breath is hot and heavy against yours. 

Subconsciously, you clench at the sound of his words. “Guk- I want you more than anything.” Your hands float down to the buckle of his jeans as you unclasp the button. “You’re wearing too much. Take it off.” The plea that falls from your lips is breathy and desperate. 

“Fuck-” Jeongguk curses, trying to restrain himself.

Jeongguk has slept with plenty of women before, but never like this. He’s always had one night stands with an ulterior motive, whether it is for leverage or intel or for the sole purpose of converting an innocent woman into a whistleblower. He’s fucked with media journalists, cabinet members, and even the wives of politicians. He isn’t proud of it, but women, just like everyone else, are more likely to say things they don’t mean when their desires are fulfilled. They’re willing to trust him and spill their secrets when they’re lost in the throes of pleasure ー when he hands over his lust and his attention. It’s transactional. 

Jeongguk has always thought that love is cheap. But not with you. 

With you, Jeongguk has the innate need to take his time. He wants to show you what it means to make love. 

He hooks his hand beneath your panties, pulling them down your legs. There’s a string of arousal that breaks when he tugs the fabric off. It’s absolutely soaked in your arousal. Jeongguk’s lips press against every inch of your skin, leaving no spot untouched. 

You shudder when his hot breath meets your inner thighs, threatening to close them. He wraps his thick arms around your legs, digging his fingers into your hips, pinning you to the mattress. 

He keeps his eyes trained on your face as you tremble beneath his touch. He kitten licks your clit, careful as to not overwhelm you. But you quickly melt into the pillows, gripping his hair between your fingers.

Jeongguk wants to commit this to memory. The way that you look so angelic in this light. 

Quiet whimpers escape from your parted lips. “You don’t have to hold back,” he reminds you. “Be as loud as you want. Nobody’s home. We have all the time in the world, and I want you to feel good.” 

He wraps his lips around your clit, sucking softly on the bundle of nerves until you’re writhing against his mouth. Soon enough, you grind your hips, practically riding his face like a needy slut, desperate and wanting. 

The moans slip out of your mouth freely, and Jeongguk grows harder at how pretty you are, lost in pleasure. He begins to rut his hips against the mattress, seeking some kind of relief for his aching cock. 

His tongue slips between your walls, licking up the arousal that seeps down your thighs. His chin is coated in your wetness, and he’s utterly obsessed with your taste. 

Your nails dig into his hair, pulling on the roots. He elicits a moan against your core, and you’re muttering apologies, “sorry, ‘m sorry.” Yet you continue to grind your cunt against his tongue, proving that you’re not sorry at all.  

Your grip loosens, but Jeongguk whines at the loss of tension. “Feels good, angel, don’t stop.” 

He quickly grabs your hands and places them on the top of his head, encouraging you to tug as hard as you want. He’s obsessed with your taste, but he’s also addicted to the pain that you inflict on him. 

He dips his tongue between your walls, reaching as far as he can go. He smiles against your core as if he’s the one enjoying himself ー and truly, he is. He can’t get enough of you. Jeongguk loves to bury his face into your sweet pussy, making out with your cunt. His chin is doused in your essence, and he wants more. He needs to see you dripping in cum so he can taste you straight from the source. 

“Guk, it feels weird,” you choke on your words, pressing your hands against your tummy. The tears cascade down your cheeks as your high builds in the pit of your stomach.

“Shh, shh, angel,” he hushes before dropping a thick glob of spit onto your entrance. He can’t believe that you’ve never come in your life. Have you never played with your cute little cunt before? 

Jeongguk laps your clit while he works a finger into you, gliding between your tight walls. He pushes another one in, watching you stretch around his digits. In the back of his mind, he wonders how you’ll be able to take his cock when you can hardly take his fingers. He curls them inside of you, slowly adding a third. 

You will yourself to pick your head up, allowing your gaze to meet his. The sight before you is filthy beyond belief. You can’t believe that Jeongguk is making out with your naughty pussy, and you love it. His fingers are gliding inside of you, reaching places you’ve never reached before. He’s humping the mattress, trying to satiate his throbbing cock that’s leaking through his boxers. 

“Guk- love, I-”

“Just let go. Come for me,” his husky voice vibrates against your cunt. 

At the sound of his command, you unravel on his tongue, shuddering beneath his strong hold. Your cunt pulses as waves of pleasure rip through you. Soft moans flow through your parted lips, and it’s suddenly Jeongguk’s new favorite melody. 

He watches you fall apart with hearts in his eyes. His hands wrap around your thighs, holding you in place as he fucks you through your climax. You’ve never felt a sensation this strong before. It doesn’t even compare when you’re high on adrenaline. 

Yet Jeongguk laps your pussy as if he’s a puppy, so eager to please you as he collects all of your cum on his tongue. He wants you as much as you’ll allow. Before the overstimulation sets in, you have to weakly tap his shoulder, pushing him away as your thighs close around his head. 

He presses a smooch to your clit before finally pulling back. “How did that feel?” 

“Never felt anything like that before,” you gasp, trying to catch your breath. “C- can you show me how to touch you too?” The innocent look in your eyes drives him absolutely mad. “Wanna make you feel good.” You palm him through his boxers, and he groans at your touch. 

Fuck. “Tonight’s about you, angel.” Jeongguk curses at himself because you look so pretty batting your eyelashes at him. You’re practically begging to suck him off, and he can’t bring himself to say yes. Your hands dip beneath his underwear, gliding your hands up and down his throbbing cock. 

Jeongguk thinks that he might be in heaven. “Aren’t you too tired? I’ve already made you come once.” 

But you shake your head, “I want more, please? I can take it. Will you please give it to me?”

“I- I don’t have a condom,” he confesses. 

“Don’t care, I need you.” Your hands roam across the planes of his chest before settling on the back of his neck. You pull him closer until your lips brush against his. “Need you so bad…” You subconsciously roll your hips, grinding your bare cunt against his thigh, pleading ー begging for him to sink his cock inside of you to relieve the ache. “It hurts,” you murmur. 

What else is Jeongguk supposed to do when his baby is aching, begging and pleading for his help? So he pulls his cock out of his boxers, tossing the offensive material out of the way. Your mouth waters as your eyes meet his length. 

“It’s not gonna fit,” you shake your head. Surely, he could split you open with his sheer girth. “You’re too big.”

Jeongguk wraps his hand around his length, jerking himself off before pressing the length of his thick cock onto your stomach, measuring how deep he could possibly go. The pretty tip rests against your belly button. Jeon Jeongguk could actually break you, and you would let him. 

“Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop-” 

You shake your head with desperate vigor, and your imploring hands reach for his broad shoulders. “Just- just go slow, okay?”

Jeongguk pairs his lips with yours in a sweet kiss, “I’ll take care of you. I promise.” He releases a thick glob of spit onto your cunt before rubbing the tip of his cock against your core, spreading the sloppy mess across your mound. He drags his tip against your lips before slowly pushing into your soaked cunt. 

You gasp upon feeling the intrusion, squeezing your eyes shut. 

Jeongguk nibbles the column of your neck, whispering quiet praises against your skin to distract you from the discomfort. He looks down to see barely half of his length tucked inside of you, yet your walls are stretched to accommodate him. At the pit of your stomach, there’s a bulge where the tip of his cock prods against your cunt. It protrudes against your tummy, leaving an indentation. He can quite literally watch his dick plow into you.

“Angel, look at how well you take me,” he groans. 

You will yourself to open your eyes, seeing how he stuffs you to the brim. The visual is so filthy. 

“God, I’ve been dreaming of this.” Jeongguk drops another glob of spit where his length meets your cunt, allowing the glide to be more effortless. The way that your pretty pussy struggles to make room for him is the hottest thing he’s ever seen. His eyes roll back as he squeezes your waist, trying to regain an ounce of composure. 

“You’ve been thinking about this? About us?” You clench upon hearing his deepest desires. 

He curses under his breath, not knowing how much longer he’d last if you’re already this tight wrapped around his cock. “You have no idea-” When he rests his head against your shoulder, panting, another inch sinks inside of you. “Sorry, ‘m sorry. You just feel so fucking good.” 

His rough hands wander across your body, mapping every inch of your skin, committing it to memory. Jeongguk taps his fingers against your lips as he requests you to ‘open up.’ As obedient as you are, you part your lips, allowing him to slip his digits inside.

“Suck on my fingers,” he coos as he pushes himself further into your sweet pussy. “That’s my good girl.” He pulls his calloused fingers out of your mouth, and they find home onto your clit as he rubs figure eights onto your bundle of nerves. It serves as a distraction from the slight sting of resistance where his cock stretches your walls. 

But for Jeongguk, this feels like heaven. He resists the urge to sheathe himself into your virgin cunt, down to the hilt. “Can’t believe that I get to see you like this.” 

Jeongguk seriously can’t believe how fortunate he is that he’s your first. Nobody has ever touched you the way that Jeongguk does. Nobody will ever fuck you or make you come the way that he will. And certainly, nobody will ever get to see you act like a desperate little slut. You belong to Jeongguk just as he belongs to you. And this is the privilege he gets when you’re his wife. 

You watch his face twist in concentration as he works himself into you. His biceps bulge, and his skin dimples beneath the pressure of your fingers when you squeeze his arm. They feel so rock solid beneath your touch. So strong and so, so reliable like the Jeongguk you know and love. You whimper simply because he’s hot, and you could never resist him. 

“S- something wrong?” He stills his hips inside of you, and his cock pulses. 

“N- no,” you whine, shaking your head. “Just wanna hold your hand.” You scratch down his biceps as you paw at his chest. Even when he’s buried inside of you, it’s still not enough. You need him, and you need all of him. 

He grabs both of your hands, softly squeezing them as he pins them on either side of your head. Jeongguk cages you against the mattress as he presses his body weight against yours, plunging his cock deeper and deeper between your walls, inch by inch. 

Your chest heaves when his hips press against yours, completely buried inside of you, and a silent cry slips past your lips. Tears begin to form in the corner of your eyes. 

“Just breathe for me, angel, okay? Relax, ease up for me. I know it’s uncomfortable now, but you’ll feel so good, I swear.”

You nod your head, and you can’t help but cry. You just feel so full. Two twin tears trail down your cheeks, and Jeongguk is quick to kiss them away.

He soothes his thumb over the back of your hand as he praises you. “You’re doing so well for me. Such a good girl. You can take it, right? You can take it all for me.” 

You nod your head, letting the tears fall down like summer rain. “I can take it, I swear-” You sound so choked up, and it’s probably due to the fact that Jeongguk is so fucking deep, you can practically feel him in your throat. 

“Move, please, I need you so bad.” The broken sob rips out of your throat as you cry in desperation.

He pulls out with a shallow thrust, wanting to be as close to you as possible. Looking down, he can see where his cock fucks into you, where there’s a bulge that shadows every single one of his thrusts. He takes your hand down to rub over the protrusion. 

“Can you feel me? Right here?” He quickly slides out of you before pressing his hips flush against yours in one swift motion. 

A deep groan rumbles through his chest, sending a deep vibration through your body. His breath is hot against your lips, and you can actually feel him in your tummy. You can feel him everywhere. 

“How’s it, angel?” 

“Feels full-” you manage to choke the words out of your mouth. 

“Too much?” Jeongguk asks. His breath is shaky as he plows his hips against yours. His cock twitches inside of you, and he really doesn’t want to pull out. But if you had asked, he wouldn’t hesitate to do so. 

Thank God for your insatiability because you shake your head as you bring your intertwined hand to your lips, pressing a kiss to his skin. “Feels good- keep going, please,” you beg. 

“See? I knew you could take it like a good girl.” 

Soon enough, the discomfort subsides, and all you can feel is pleasure in the pit of your stomach. Jeongguk fucks into you until he bottoms out, prodding at the spot that has you seeing stars. Your eyes begin to cross, obsessed with the way he fills you up, turning you into a stuttering mess. 

“Oh my god, feels s’ good, Guk- Don’t stop,” you cry, wrapping your legs tightly around his waist to keep him close. 

Your mouth falls open and drool begins to slip from the corner of your lips. Jeongguk wedges his tongue into your mouth, swirling your spit and saliva together into one hungry mess. 

He shifts his attention to your sensitive neck as he sucks on the column of your throat. A mark begins to bloom above your collarbone. If anyone were to doubt your marriage and the fact that you belonged to Jeongguk, there would be no reason to do so now. 

The only thing you can focus on is the way that Jeongguk pokes your cervix, and you want nothing more but for him to flood your womb. Your heavy lidded eyes fall shut, your head lolls, and your cheek rests against the pillow. 

But Jeongguk refuses to let you look away. His hand hooks around your jaw, and his fingers dig into your cheek. “Look at me,” he demands. “Want to see you when you come.” He lifts your face off the pillow and presses his lips against yours. 

Jeongguk gives deep and pointed thrusts into your cunt. He grips your hands so tightly, but you welcome the embrace. His hips snap against yours, rutting into your battered hole as you desperately chase your high. 

“‘m sorry, princess, am I too rough?” He mouths against your lips. “Just f- feels so good around me. So tight n’ warm. You’re s’ perfect.” 

You shake your head in desperation. “N- no, I love it-” You love him. “I’m close,” you cry, overwhelmed with emotions. 

“Come for me, angel,” he groans into your ear, pressing kisses against your nose, your cheek, your lips. He squeezes your hands, never letting you go. 

He pounds into you once, twice, three-four times, bullying his cock into you, and you come undone with the rough snap of his hips. You tremble in his arms, feeling this orgasm tenfold compared to the last. Cum begins to seep out of your cunt, drenching Jeongguk’s cock until there’s a ring of cream at the base of his length. 

You tight little cunt clenches around him as if you never want him to leave. He finds it hard to breathe when you look so beautiful, so pretty, and just so cute caged beneath him. As much as he wants to come inside of you and stuff you full, Jeongguk is quick to pull out when he feels his climax approach. He glides his cock against your cunt, rutting against your lips. He paints your stomach with ribbons of white cum, groaning at the lewdness of it all. 

Thoughts of Jeongguk breeding your cunt flashes through your mind ー having him flood you with cum round after round until you can have a happy little family of four. 

Obscene images of you doing this again and again in different positions send your mind racing. You want him to bury himself to the hilt with your knees pinned against your chest. If only he could flood your womb as he holds you by the back of your thighs in a mating press. Maybe you can come when you’re on all fours, on your hands and knees. Or you could take him down your throat as deep as you can go, choking and gagging on his length with saliva dribbling out of your lips. Although you’re certain that you could barely take half of him considering his size and your inexperience. But Jeongguk can teach you, and you can practice night after night until he absolutely ruins you. 

“So much cum,” you murmur, admiring the liquid that rests on your tummy. You swipe your fingers across your stomach before sticking them in your mouth. Jeongguk’s cock twitches at the sight of you so desperate for a taste. 

He presses a kiss to your forehead, “How was it?” 

“Can we do it again?” Your eyes glimmer with wishful thinking. It’s safe to say that you had the best night of your life. 

Jeongguk sputters a laugh, shaking his head. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” 

He carries you to the bathroom, making sure you use the toilet to prevent UTIs. Meanwhile, he runs a bath for you where he lathers lavender shampoo in your hair and rubs the knots from your sore shoulders, down to your hips and legs. Between soft giggles and splashes of water, you share sweet kisses and loving stares. Before your fingers can prune, Jeongguk lifts you out of the tub and dries you off with a warm towel. 

The two of you tangle beneath the sheets. But before you fall asleep to the sound of one another’s heartbeat, you ask Jeongguk the question that’s been on your mind. 

“I was just wondering… Do you like to be called daddy?” 

His lips meet your forehead before tucking you closer to his chest. “Go to sleep, angel. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” 

Jeongguk, in fact, does like to be called daddy among a plethora of other vulgar words. This vital piece of information is not necessary for the Hwa Yang interview, but you tuck that specific fact into the recesses of your brain for future reference. 

Because the truth is, you don’t have enough time to memorize Jeongguk’s life story. You can save that for another day. The Hwa Yang interview is in less than a week, and you have to save all of your brain space for relevant ー appropriate information. Such as the values of your family and the importance of education in your lives. 

Thankfully, as Jeongguk’s informant, Seokjin managed to snag sample questions that the interviewers are likely to ask: What type of person do you want your child to grow up to be? What is your child’s school experience like thus far? What are some habits you practice to help your child acclimate to the academic rigor of this school? 

So Jeongguk, Minji, and you work tirelessly to come up with the perfect answers that give the impression that you are a family exuding elegance. In the eyes of the admissions director, it basically means that you have to rival the royal family. 

Minji should have interests beyond her plushies and her manhwas, something along the lines of tennis, horseback riding, or crossword puzzles. She has to continue with her studies ー global history, foreign affairs, music theory, and yes, even her sworn enemy, mathematics. At the mere age of five, she should obtain fluency in a second language (which is apparently really impressive if you’re the royal heir to the British empire). 

All of this preparation proves to be handy because at the academy, the board of interviewers ask about Minji’s interests and her hobbies. They want to know what type of learner she is and how she can contribute to the fast paced learning environment. 

Although Minji is exceptional as she is, you can’t help but wonder why a child has to be a prodigy to be deemed as someone worthy of a good education. What’s wrong with simply existing? What’s wrong with being average? Because if the price of being average is being a decent human being, you would rather take your chances at a different school. 

The sound of the headmaster’s voice breaks you out of your reverie. “I want to ask Minji what a typical day in the household looks like.”

She straightens her posture upon hearing her name. “I start the day when eomma wakes me up and helps me get ready for kindergarten. She double checks to make sure my homework and my school supplies are in my bag. She also packs extra clothes for me just in case. Appa makes breakfast in the kitchen, and when we finish eating, they walk me to school-” 

The headmaster crinkles his brows. A look of confusion crosses his features. “Does your father always cook for the family?” 

“Yes, appa usually cooks because eomma works really hard. Sometimes, she comes home with aches and pains because of all the energy she uses.” Minji shifts her gaze to her father, trying to gauge whether her answer is acceptable. Meanwhile, your eyes are filled with concern, worried she’ll somehow expose your criminal history. “But eomma always helps when she can. She goes to the market, and she does the laundry. She also makes tea for appa and hot chocolate for me. She helps me with my homework even if I don’t like fractions.” Minji says the last part in a hushed whisper. 

“Really? Is your mother someone you aspire to be? Despite your father being the one to prepare your meals? It’s rather untraditional.” 

“I don’t believe that question is pertinent to the interview. It’s quite leading,” Jeongguk states. His voice doesn’t falter, but there’s animosity in every breath that he takes. “I can assure you that my wife is a wonderful mother and role model to our daughter. Now may we please refocus our attention on Minji and her academics?” Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow, and he is seething. He balls his hands into fists, resisting the urge to throw a right hook at the man across the table. 

Instinctually, your fingers inch across the settee, reaching for Jeongguk’s hand in order to soothe his nerves. His shoulders relax upon feeling the heat of your skin as if to quietly remind him that everything is okay. 

“Of course, I apologize.” The headmaster says diplomatically before jotting down a few words into his notebook. He raises his nose in the air as if he’s on some high horse.

The interview persists until the end of the hour, and Jeongguk remains at the edge of his seat. He holds his hand in yours to keep his composure intact. Thankfully, the dean of admissions and the executive advisor have more tasteful questions to ask. 

However, it doesn’t last long. The headmaster intercepts once again. “Mrs. Jeon, I noticed that your documents indicate you are Minji’s stepmother, correct? Do you ever feel some kind of disconnect considering that you are not her biological mother?” 

You’re taken aback by this impromptu question. You didn’t prepare an answer for this, although your natural response would be to wrap your hands around this man’s bare neck, wringing it dry. Yet you remain composed for the sake of Jeongguk and Minji. You can feel Jeongguk hold your hand tighter in his. But you pat his wrist, serving as both a warning and a comforting acknowledgement. 

“I love Minji as a daughter, just as any other mother. To me, it doesn’t matter if she’s not my blood relative. We’ve grown really close ever since we’ve met. I admit that I have never been a mom myself, and I’m faced with a new learning curve every single day. But isn’t that what motherhood is? It’s nothing I’m not used to. Growing up, I raised my younger brother. At work, I take care of children from all different backgrounds. Surely, I make mistakes, but I think every parent leaves a mark on their child no matter what they do. Sometimes it’s a stain. Other times it’s a break, a bend, or a crack. Other parents can splinter their kids, but I hope that I never get to that point. I’m not perfect, but I’m constantly trying to be better. I love Minji more than anything.” 

“So you never feel any sense of inadequacy or resentment?” The headmaster has the audacity to question your parenting skills. 

Jeongguk cannot stand to hear the headmaster criticize you anymore. In a blink of an eye, he slams his fist against the coffee table. The wood splits in half beneath the brute force of his hand, and you’re quite impressed by the display of action. 

“This is wildly inappropriate for an interview. This entire time, you’ve done nothing but berate my wife because we do not have a conventional family. We’re not wealthy people. We work hard for what we do. We take care of one another in a way that only we know and understand. If you can’t accept that, then maybe this is not the school that we want our child to be enrolled in.” Jeongguk’s chest heaves as he says his peace. 

He doesn’t even take another moment to listen to the headmaster. There’s nothing he could say that could warrant forgiveness. So Jeongguk picks up his daughter, and he grabs your hand before storming out of the interview room. 

Jeongguk is going to have a difficult time explaining to his boss why he’s failed his mission.

“I’m sorry I messed up Minji’s chance of going to Hwa Yang.” You tug at the sleeves of your dress as you stare at the floor.

Back at Jeongguk’s apartment, you sink into the couch, allowing the weight of the situation to finally settle. 

Jeongguk rests his hand on your shoulders, turning you so that you can meet his gaze. “You didn’t mess up anything.” His eyes are filled with warmth, but you feel as if you don’t deserve it. 

“We worked so hard for this, and it was all for nothing.” 

There’s still residual rage that flows through his veins. “Nothing? Don’t say that. Don’t you know that I lo-” 

Your heart lurches out of your chest as you stare at him in awe. He loves you? 

Jeongguk’s hands shift to hold your cheeks, running his calloused thumb against the edge of your jaw. He sighs, trying to collect his thoughts. “We have each other, and that’s all that matters at the end of the day, okay? We couldn’t anticipate that they’d be so cruel. I would defend you over anything in this world. So don’t you dare say that this was all for nothing.”

He pulls you into a tight hug, tucking your head beneath his chin. You can hear the sound of his heart beat, beating only for you. It’s distracting enough for you to miss his whispered declaration: “I’m seriously gonna marry you someday.” 

Minji climbs onto the couch, wedging herself between her parents. “If I don’t get accepted, I don’t have to go to school, right?” 

The two of you peel away from the embrace, glaring at Minji, shaking your heads. “No, you have to go,” you simultaneously declare with stern conviction. 

Minji huffs a sigh, looking downcast. But when her stomach grumbles, you effectively put an end to your pity party. You and Jeongguk drop everything, scurrying into the kitchen to prepare dinner for your precious daughter. She worked hard, and she did her very best. You all did. 

…

Tucked away into the busy streets of Seoul, there’s a tiny little apartment on the second story filled with music and laughter. 

While the water boils for the buckwheat noodles, Jeongguk watches over his precious family, reading the instructions for the sauce. All you need is a mixture of perilla oil, cham sauce, buldak sauce, buldak mayo, egg yolk, and a generous amount of furikake. But when you and Minji measure out everything to perfection, you cheer for one another as if you’ve made a meal worthy of praise from the world renown Gordon Ramsey. 

When the noodles are ready, you all gather around the table and laugh to your heart's content. You fill your stomachs with starch, a heavy amount of spice, and plenty of love. You dote on one another, too distracted with the loving family you’ve created to notice anything outside of your little bubble. 

This moment is yours, and yours alone. This is your happy place, and nobody can take it away from you. Not even the sound of the answering machine, echoing from the quaint living room.

“Due to your family’s impressive display of integrity at the institution’s interview, I would like to extend an offer to enroll Jeon Minji into the prestigious Hwa Yang Academy. Congratulations, and we hope to hear from you soon.” 

That Night of Graduation ⇾ jjk [oneshot]

⌁ pairing; reader (f) x Jeon Jungkook

⌁ genre/rating; 18+ explicit content, strangers to lovers, right person wrong time??, friends to lovers.

⌁ summary; After a stupid game of Truth or Drink you are convinced into telling everyone about the time you and Jungkook hooked up together the night of college graduation. A missed connection that you and Jungkook hadn't even talked about. Bringing up some unexpected feeling that you hadn't realized had been lingering between the two of you.

⌁ word count; 24.3k

⌁ warnings; verysoftdom!jungkook, sub!reader, unprotected sex (reader on birth control) and protected sex, two smut scenes for all the horny bitches, multiple orgasms, creampie, fingering, begging, teasing, hair pulling, nipple/breast play, oral sex (m & f receiving), fluffy smut, smut, jungkook is very sweet, drinking, this is a long oneshot I am so sorry.

I also have this fic posted on ao3 as well under the same username. <3 (Also sorry if there is mistakes. Still trying to find them all.)

“Come on I want to do something!” Tae’s voice roared over everyone laughing and drinking.

To set the scene, You had stuck with Tae and Yoongi for most of the night just chatting in the kitchen. Namjoon and his girlfriend Sana were in competition in a heated game of Mario kart. Jungkook and Jimin were playing a sober version of beer pong whereas Jin and Hoseok were not. While Yuna and Cece were watching. Music was a medium hum over everyone else’s noise.

Tae jumped down from his spot next to you on the counter.

“I’m just bored! I don’t want to sit here and chat all night!” He grumbled, you and Yoongi give each other a knowing look knowing he’s just getting moody from drinking.

“We always go do something, we took a majority vote and decided to stay in remember?” Yoongi patted him on the shoulder and took a swig of his drink.

“Yeah some people have to work tomorrow morning so it was easier to stay in.” You chimed in.

“I know,” Tae pouted, “Can we do like truth or dare or something?”

“What are we 13?” Yoongi laughed at him.

“Come on I know you all have some dirt I don’t know about.” Tae wiggled his eyebrows and both of you and you wiggled yours back.

“Doubt that.” You snort and take a drink from your cider.

“What is Tae grumbling about?” Jungkook came trotting into the kitchen with all the cups filled with water from him and Jin’s game. He dumps them out into the sink.

“Tae wants to play a game like truth or dare because we can’t go have an adventure.” You roll your eyes.

“I’m down.” Jungkook says his back still turned to you all.

“Seriously?” Your eyes meet his.

“Yes!” Tae grins from ear to ear.

“I think everyone is just trying to wind down though.” Yoongi jumps in.

Which was true, everyone seemed to be slowing down as the night went on.

“Well why don’t we do like just truths.” Tae suggests and looks between you.

You give a knowing look over to Jungkook. You hadn’t played a game like that in a long while.

“How about we do truth or drink but people can pick their drink. Y/N and I have played it before.” Jungkook suggests.

You looked surprisingly at him, you hadn’t thought about it in a long time. It was never a night either of you had mentioned to your friends either. Yoongi gives a confused look.

He never really thought of you two hanging out before.

“I don’t know.” You glance at your feet. “I mean last time we played it we ended up drunk in the middle of downtown.”

“We made it back safe.” He pulled himself a soda out of the fridge and opened it. “Besides that was our graduation party so we were just celebrating.”

“Yeah but that was just us.” You almost cut yourself off because you realized not anyone else knew about this.

Tae had already left the kitchen to go round up the others.

“Scared we will learn your deepest secrets.” Yoongi pokes your legs, and you bat his hands away.

“I’m more scared about yall’s secrets I’m going to have to hear.” You smirk.

“Back up though, when were you two alone at graduation?” Yoongi back tracked and glanced between you and Jungkook. You look at Jungkook and sigh.

“Remember we stayed behind?” You squint your eyes trying to remember.

“We we’re both done celebrating graduation before the rest of you guys. We just stayed behind and went to bed.” Jungkook took a drink of his drink, he didn’t take his eyes off of you.

“Yeah that was all.” You shrug.

“You two are being weird. What happened at graduation?” He narrows his eyes between the two of you.

“What about graduation?” Jimin came into the kitchen and pulled a drink for himself out of the fridge and he leaned on the counter next to Jungkook.

“Did you know these two hang out without us?” Yoongi looked at Jimin.

“We don’t hang out,” You roll your eyes. “It was that one night.”

“I thought you two didn’t like each other if I’m being honest.” Jimin took a sip of his drink looking between you both.

“I like Jungkook fine!” You exclaim and hop off the counter, “and nothing happened, we just went to bed.”

“I remember Jungkook not coming back to the room til like 8am.” Jimin spoke up.

You looked surprisingly over at him.

“Oh really?” Yoongi gives a curious look to you and then Jungkook and then back to Jimin. “Tell me more.”

“I was in the room before you came back, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jungkook rolled his eyes, trying to change topics.

“No I remember.” Jimin was insistent now, “We got back at roughly 5:30 and no you didn’t come back til 8. I remember because I was pissed at you waking me up so early.”

“You must be remembering it wrong buddy.”

“You sure he wasn’t there before and just left and came back?” You cough a little. You knew you were lying but playing along with Jungkook.

“Why are you both so defensive about it?” Yoongi picked up on the tone change.

You look over to Jungkook who was still had been staring at you. Both of you have had never repeated the events of that night. You weren’t even sure if he remembered most of it since you both were pretty wasted.

“What was that?” Jimin eyes both of you and you snapped your eyes to him.

“What was what?” Jungkook said non-chalantly, he smirked looking back to you. You couldn’t help but laugh but it came out more as a cough.

“You guys shared a look.” He pouted, he for sure saw it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You smile to yourself as you take a sip of your drink.

“Stop messing around!” Jimin hits Jungkook on the shoulder.

You had a feeling Jimin wasn’t going to let it go though.

Tae right then pulled everyone out of the kitchen into the living room. Everyone had got themselves a drink of some kind, some people went for just beer or cider, and others went just for water or soda. You all sat in a circle around Tae’s coffee table, you and Yoongi decided to share the smaller couch together as you took up most of the room which he protested too. Jimin Jungkook, Sana and Namjoon had taken their places on the couch, while everyone else had found their places on the ground. Tae was standing at the front of the room waiting for everyone to calm down.

“So what are we playing?” Yuna raised her hand as if she was in class.

“Jungkook do you want to explain what it is?” Tae held his hand to Jungkook. Jungkook stood up from his spot on the couch.

“Basically all it is, is truth or drink. You get asked a question and you can either choose to answer it or you can take a sip of your drink. Go wild.” He smiles and takes his seat back down on the couch.

“Is anything off limits?” Jin asks and glances around to everyone.

Everyone nods and seems to silently agree that nothing is off limits. Everyone has known each other long enough that we never really had any boundaries with each other.

The game started with Tae and slowly worked it’s way around. It started off fairly tame and slowly got progressively more interesting. Cece has slept with an A list celebrity but can’t tell us who. Hoseok flirted with a professor to get a better grade in one of his classes in his first year of college. And it went on like this for a while, not all the secrets people spilled were stuff we hadn’t known already either. You had also answered a few questions but nothing that you weren’t too hesitant to answer in the first place.

Eventually questions had made there way back around to Tae who was pretty tipsy at this point because he had many questions he did not want to answer.

“Alright,” he glanced around the circle before he pointed at Jimin, “Jiminie, truth or drink.”

“Bring it.” He said in a playful tone.

“Have you ever slept with someone in our friend group?”

This brought a resounding ‘oh’ from everyone in the group. Shockingly this question hadn’t come up already.

Jimin took a quick glance around the room, almost as if we wasn’t sure if he had or not.

“Other than a sleepover, No Tae I have not slept with anyone in the room.” Jimin said confidently with a cheeky grin on face, “None of you are my type anyways.”

“Ugh you’re boring.” Jin grumbled, he was hoping to hear something juicy.

“Yeah ask something good for this next one.” Yoongi has been silent for a while and finally spoke up. You had almost thought he was falling asleep. “The game is getting stale.”

Jimin placed a finger over his mouth as he scanned everyone. You rolled your eyes and you began to take a sip of your drink. Trying to remain unnoticed, which to your avail hadn’t worked.

“Y/N.” he said very abruptly.

You choking on your drink a little bit.

“What’s up baby?” You smile at him playfully, you may also be a bit tipsy.

Jimin was silent for a moment as a devilish grin played on his lips as he looked between you and Jungkook. Jungkook who was completely wrapped up in his phone.

“Truth or Drink,” He was taunting you a bit, “What happened between you and Jungkook the night of our graduation party.”

Everyone seemed to fall quiet at the question. Too quiet, you were sure everyone heard your stomach turn. You began to chew on your bottom lip a bit as everyones eyes landed on you. You looked down to your drink and were ready to take the L and not hear the end of it for the rest of the night. It was something you and Jungkook hadn’t even talked about yourselves since then.

I mean it was two years ago, there was really nothing to talk about.

You had felt yourself lift your hand up slightly, almost making the decision to take a drink before you look over to Jungkook first. His eyes were flickering between the drink in your hand and you. You both stare at each other for a moment.

“Oh come on we have to hear this now.” Tae spoke up and he scooted closer to you like he was a kid waiting for a story.

“With how silent you are we have to know now.” Sana chimed in and Namjoon nodded his head in agreement.

“Yeah come on Y/N.” Yoongi bumped your shoulder, and you could see he was also just as curious.

Everyone kind of started to cheer you on to tell the story, you looked back to Jungkook. He just stared at you couldn’t tell if he wanted you to tell the story either.

“Do you want me to tell them?” You mouth to him.

“Might as well.” He rolls his eyes and shrugs, him also knowing you won’t make it out of this without saying something.

“Alright,” you sit up on the edge of the couch and let out a long sigh,” The night of our graduation party, Jungkook and I slept together.”

The room went completely silent for a mere second before everyone up roared with their own assorted responses.

“You slept together?”

“We were together the whole night!”

“No way.”

“Do you two even like each other?”

It continued on like this for a moment and you rubbed the side of your temples with an embarrassed smile on your face. Jungkook was also in the same position. He didn’t seem embarrassed though.

“Okay okay okay,” Yuna stood up from her place on the ground, “You got to tell us more.”

“What? No! That’s a completely different question.” You snort, “Let’s continue.”

You look over to Jin who equally wants to know more of what the rest of the group wants to hear.

“Jin, what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done drunk?” You ask, hoping everyone will move on.

“Purple!” He exclaims, “Y/N tell us what led you two to sleeping together.”

“What! You can’t do that! You have to ask someone else a question.” You fold your arms over your chest.

“As the host I will allow it. All those in favor say I.” Tae shouts and a everyone follows suit with a resounding I.

You let out a sigh and look back to Jungkook who is just laughing a bit.

“Don’t laugh.” You chuck a pillow at him and he catches it before it can hit him.

“I don’t think we are leaving before they find out what happened Y/N.”

“Ugh,” You groan, “Do you care if I tell them then?”

“Be my guest.” Jungkook leans back on the couch, looking completely unbothered by all the attention on both of you.

“Okay… where do I even begin.”

//

*Two Years Prior*

The elevator ride back up to your hotel room felt like it lasted ages, everyone was completely wasted and sweaty. You found yourself at the back leaning against the cool glass that had cooled down the skin on your back. Everyone was still giggling and shuffling around the elevator and you were just trying to make sure you stayed on your own two feet. The dress you wore had luckily stayed on you the whole night but you were ready to sleep.

It seemed as everyone else disagreed with you.

Everyone still seemed to have plenty of life in them, they were just coming back to the hotel to take a quick break and most of them were going to head back out to some of the bars that were open till way late.

The ding of the elevator rung, and everyone piled on our floor and were giggling and screaming.

“Shhh.” Tae was the one who got us our hotel rooms for the night and he wasn’t looking to get us kicked out. “Chill out everyone.”

You smiled at him.

Yoongi and Hoseok had both gotten pretty wasted and were the two who were being the loudest. Usually Jimin would be the one to be loud like them but he was helping Cece just stay on her two feet. Namjoon and Sana could barely keep there hands off each other. It was getting graphic.

You weren’t doing so hot either though, as you were watching everyone you could feel the edge of your eyes blurring, as you tried to reach up to rub your eyes you had completely lost your balance. Falling backwards a bit you felt yourself fall into what felt like a wall, but two arms had caught under neither yours, you looked up to see Jungkook’s face right above yours.

“Oh hello,” You giggled and you tapped the edge of his nose but also fell out of his grip again. He bent down and caught you once more.

He laughed a little at you getting you back to your feet. He was dressed in a nice suit like the other guys but his was correctly tailored to him and looked good. He had his tie completely undone, and he had ditched his jacket to Yuna who had gotten cold on the walk back.

“Hello to you too.” He smiled at you, he has a nice smile. “We need to get you some water.”

“YOU need some water.” You poked his chest and pouted.

“You’re right but let’s take care of you first.” He placed his hand on your lower back and held your other hand in his to help guide you.

Tae had opened his room, and everyone seemed to follow like little drunk sheep and pile into his room. More resounding giggles and screams came as people fell onto the one bed, you found yourself falling onto the couch.

Tae’s room was rather big. He decided to call up his dad for a favor and get us all really nice rooms for the weekend. It helped at times like these that Tae came from a loaded family. The room had a king size bed a full living room set and had a huge tv that hung over a fire place. His room was probably the biggest of everyone’s, yours was nothing to snore at but his was definitely the most luxurious.

Everyone was falling all over the place but seemed to settle down. Some people, including yourself were slowly becoming spent for the night.

“Come on people!” Jin cheered around the room. Clapping to get everyone’s attention and to keep people awake.

“Yeah come on, we are just here to grab some stuff and we are heading back out!” Hoseok joined in and he was encouraging some of the others back on there feet.

Some of them were running in place and doing jumping jacks to get their blood moving, You had completely become one with Tae’s couch. You knew you weren’t going anywhere after this. You hadn’t noticed but since you were sprawled out on the couch, Jungkook had come and sat down on the ground in front of you and he handed you a glass of water.

“Awe thank you.” You lifted your head up and pouted at him and took the glass, he kept a hand on it just in case you dropped it.

“No problem,” He smiled, “You’re probably still going to have a massive hang over in the morning though dummy.”

He pats you on the head slightly and you swat him away, you sit up straight so you can drink the water better.

“You’re the dummy.” You grumble.

“Yeah, I’m not 9 shots deep right now.” He rolled his eyes at you and joined you on the couch.

“I’m not 9 shots deep.”

He lifts your arm up that had the tally marks all down your wrist that count your drinks. Your wrist tingles under the heat of his skin.

“Oh.” You felt yourself snicker.

“Alright let’s go! Everyone got what they need?” Jimin shouts around the room and you hadn’t even noticed that everyone was already all back on their feet, mostly. Ready to head on back out into the night.

“Everyone make sure you have your buddies.” Tae looks around to everyone and make sure they all have a buddy.

Your buddy was Yuna but it seems she found a new buddy in Jimin. You didn’t think you had much more left in you though and you could almost barely stand anymore really. You could completely understand everything happening around you but your body didn’t comply with your actions. You tried to stand up but immediately fell back down to the couch. You almost fall completely onto Jungkook. He catches you. You lift your head to meet his gaze.

“I think I’m done for the night.” You giggle a little and run a hand through your hair.

“I agree, here lay down again.” Jungkook moves off the couch and back down to the floor so you can rest.

“No come on! It’s graduation we still have some partying to do!” Yoongi comes up from behind you and places his hands on your shoulders, just before you can sprawl out again.

“No,” You whine and look up at him, “You go have fun, if I go any longer I will be passing out in the street.”

“You’ll be the only one though.” Hoseok comes up to Yoongi.

“I’m also not going.” You hear Jungkook’s voice from in front of you, you lean your head up to look at him.

“No Kook!” Namjoon stumbles over after hearing him, “You have to go out with us more!”

“Nah, I am also 9 shots deep man. I am done for the night.” He rolls his eyes and hugs Namjoon back after he initiated one.

“I’m going to miss you.” Namjoon fake sobs.

“I’ll miss you too.” Jungkook laughs and gives Namjoon back over to Sana.

Everyone then said their goodbyes to both of you as they headed out the door. You were honestly glad. Even though you had been celebrating you were completely spent for the night it felt like. After everyone had finally piled out the door you fell straight back onto the couch. A long sigh fell from your lips as you felt the weight of your body settle in. You weren’t doing too bad for 9 shots but you sure shouldn’t be at anymore bars for the night.

Jungkook laid himself down on the ground and you could hear some of the bones in his back crack.

“Oh that sounded like it felt good.” You laugh a little.

“I’m getting too old for this shit.”

You hum in agreement.

“You seemed like you had so much more energy! What happened?” You lifted your head to look at him on the ground.

“Jimin happened.”

That made you laugh but your stomach immediately reacted.

“Don’t make me laugh I’m going to puke.” You groan a little and bury your face back into the couch.

“That’ll happen when you’re such a lightweight.” He jokes.

“I am not.”

“I’ve known you for four years, and Tae and Jimin have had a lot of parties.” He rolls his eyes at you, he also placed his arms over his eyes probably to block out the room light.

“God has it really been fucking four years?” You widen your eyes just thinking how long it’s been.

It hadn’t even fully hit you that you will no longer have to go to school anymore and you will be being a real life adult now. You had already had a job lined up and you were staying close to everyone else but it was real now. No more homework, no more teachers.

“Yeah we met when we were sophomores.” He lifted his arm up a bit to look at you.

“Jesus, now I feel old.” You groaned and you rubbed your eyes.

“Tell me about it. I’ve known Jimin since I was 14 so I feel ancient.”

You turned over and you laid down on your back. You tried to pinpoint when you and Jungkook first met but you couldn’t remember. It felt weird because you and Jungkook usually don’t talk like this.

“Jungkook…”

“Yeah?” He sits up, he looked worried, almost like he thought something was wrong.

“I don’t know anything about you.” You also sat up on your elbows.

You genuinely couldn’t think of a time you and Jungkook had hung out like this.

“I guess we never really got to hang out a lot.”

“No, we were always forced together by our friends.”

“Ugh you saying you are forced to be around me?” He pouts, and you reach down and smack his arm.

“Shut up, you know what I mean.” You roll your eyes.

“Well, never too late to get to know each other.”

//

“Get to know each other physically” Jimin interrupted you.

Everyone around chuckled and you smiled to yourself.

“Keep going.” Namjoon waves for you to continue.

Everyone around was completely taken by the story.

“Can you hurry up though, I want to get to the good part.” Hoseok says getting impatient. You hit him since he’s sitting so close to you and he laughs.

“Don’t be gross!” You scold him. “Anyways, um...”

You have to pause to think what happened after, it’s been a while so some details were fuzzy.

“We got food remember?” Jungkook chimes in and you glance over to him, everyone seems to turn their attention over to him.

“Yeah we left and got some food because I figured no better way to get to know someone-“ he continues.

“Than over good food.” You both say at the same time as it comes back to you.

//

Jungkook and you both had run down to one of the pizza places that was still open and brought a few slices back with you, but you decided to hang out in your room instead. You had started to chat a little bit about little things about each other. Talked about high school and how he met Jimin. You talked about how you had first met Tae in a study group and he was absolutely dead set on being your friend. Jungkook also remind you that you two had met through an aggressive game of darts.

“Was that the same night Hobi got a dart in the ass?” You plop yourself down on your bed, and you and Jungkook had made a nice little spread of your pizza slices and the bread sticks you got.

It was a good call to go get pizza. Jungkook mostly ordered everything since he insisted meat lovers is going to be the cure all for your hang over. You both were just sprawled out on your bed now. You were against the headboard and Jungkook was closer to the foot of the bed.

“No, that was actually a year later. No when you and I met he was still dating that one person..” He snapped his fingers trying to pinpoint a name. “I can’t remember but the only reason he got the dart in the ass was because he was so drunk because he had gotten dumped.”

“Oh that’s right.” You took another bite of your pizza.

You both had sat in comfortable silence for a moment. You had just begun to notice Jungkook’s features, he really was an attractive guy. Now that you had recollected the first time you two met, you had remembered that you had thought he was very cute back then. You had always had admired him, but frankly you thought he never really liked you that much. Maybe that’s why you had never really gotten to know each other that well.

“Can I confess something.” You say and having to clear your throat a bit. Jungkook was mid bite and his eyes went wide and looked at you. It made you chuckle a little bit. He tried to bite down on the pizza the string of the pizza was stuck to his mouth. He was struggling.

“Yeah?” He said covering his mouth, and it came out kind of mumbled because his mouth was full.

“In total honesty, I used to think you were very attractive.” You play with you finger nails and scrunch you face a bit before seeing his reaction.

He gave you are wide grin.

“Even with the bowl cut?” He looks shocked and you laughed remembering the bowl cut. It wasn’t horrible but his longer hair suits him better.

“Even with the bowl cut.” You chew on your bottom lip.

“Well,” He sits himself up and he looks towards the ceiling, “I thought the same thing about you.”

“You thought I would be cute with a bowl cut?” You tease him.

“Oh absolutely, the bowl cut look would be super hot for you.” He chuckles a bit.

“Oh, I’ll consider it next time I get a cut done.” You smile, You take a moment to think about what he said. “Wait you thought I was cute?”

You sat straight up in the bed and moved a little closer to his side.

“Oh yeah.”

“That’s it?” You blink at him.

“Well who wouldn’t.” He took a bite of his pizza and he was looking straight at you.

You were a little speechless for a moment. You didn’t find yourself unattractive but I don’t think you had ever had someone be so forward about finding you attractive.

“What?” He interrupts your thoughts.

“I thought you didn’t like me if I am being honest.” You felt embarrassed.

“I thought you didn’t like me.” He sat up in his spot as well, meeting your eye-line. “I was actually going to ask you out.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I think I had asked Tae about it, but he said you just weren’t in that place. Then we just all kept hanging out as a group and then we never really got the chance to talk alone ever.”

You just let out a sigh. It was a what if moment. You thought of the idea of him asking you out. Would you have even said yes at the time? Tae was probably right you wouldn’t have been in the place to have this random guy asking you out.

“Well c’est la vie.” You sigh.

You hadn’t really noticed you two were sitting fairly close to each other at this point. You let out a little cough and get up from the bed and take some of the napkins and other garbage you and Jungkook had made. You still had a bit of energy left. From what you could figure, none of the others had come back yet. You still wanted to do something.

“Well,” You turn back around to him, “What should we do next?”

“Well I am feeling better. Want to play a rather easy drinking game?” He had a smirk on his lips and you raise an eyebrow at him with concern.

“I don’t like that look.”

“It’s nothing bad. First are feeling okay to drink more?”

“I’m feeling way better.” You take a deep breath.

Jungkook then leaves the room briefly and you hear him in the hall go into another room. It’s just a minute before he returns with a bunch of tiny bottles of liquor. You laugh a bit.

“Where did you get those?” he places a few in your hands.

“I stole them from Tae’s room, figured it’s not going to hurt him much to pay for these.”

You laugh and you both play your own game of Truth or Drink. You both just ask innocent questions and neither really had to drink with the few questions you had asked to far. It was just nice to get to know him and to get him to open up. Jungkook was way goofier than you had ever seen him be. It was interesting to see him loosen up more and more as the night goes on.

After a few more rounds you both had maybe taken only three shots for questions you didn’t want to answer. You had begun to get into some more personal questions.

“Truth or Drink, how many people have you slept with.”

You had to sit and think about it a little bit.

“I think it’s only six people?” To be completely honest you think it might be less.

“Okay okay.” He sit and thinks on it for a minute.

“What!” You widen you eyes, what was he thinking?

“Nothing! Six is a good number! Relationships or-…”

“Three relationships and three were just flings.”

“Oh spicy.” Jungkook pokes you.

“Yeah, well what’s your number.” You take a small sip from one of the little liquor bottles.

“Eleven.”

“Whore.” You snort, and Jungkook’s face completely drops.

“Prude.” He takes a sip from one of his little liquor bottles.

“Hey! You said six was a good number!” You shove his shoulder. He falls over and laughs a little, you both were falling to the tipsy side again.

“Alright my turn. Truth or Drink, have you and Tae slept together?”

You choke on your own air and are coughing and laughing in his face.

“Ew no!” You scoff at him.

“I had to know, Cece put the thought in my head the other day and I’ve been curious ever since!” He had a little blush over his cheeks, probably a combination from drinking and embarrassment.

“No Tae and I have never slept together! We are just good friends.” You grumble and you rub your forehead. “Alright, what about you, have you slept with anyone we know?”

“No no no,” He shakes his head frowns a little, “Not anyone we all know.”

“Interesting.” You nod your head.

“Okay, have you ever wanted to with anyone of our friends?” He looks at you intently, it almost felt like his eyes were boring into the side of your head.

You meet his gaze. You slowly lift your drink up to your lips and down the tiny bottle. This drink burned on it’s way down and you could feel the heat rush to your cheeks.

He hums in disappointment. You knew he would be curious to know.

“Bummer.” His eyes flicker away from yours for a moment.

“What about you?” You smirk at him.

“Oh yeah.” He seems to match the energy you’re giving off.

“Who?” Your eyes widen.

Jungkook instead of responding looks away from you with a smile and downs the tiny bottle he has in his hend and coughs a little. You shove his shoulder because even though it’s unsaid, you had an understanding probably of what he was going to say.

“Alright your turn.” You grumble to yourself.

“What are you thinking right now?”

You look at him confused since it was such a simple question. You were looking right in his eyes, and he had this sparkle in them. The room wasn’t even lit that well, but he still looked like he had stars within them. He was so delicately handsome.

“You have really pretty eyes.” You tilt your head a little but never breaking your stare.

“Thank you.” He says it very quietly, “Your turn.”

You both just sat in silence for a moment, just taking each other in.

“Okay…” You clear your throat, “Let’s say hypothetically, If someone asked from our friend group if you wanted too… would you?”

Neither of you have broken eye contact.

“Hypothetically? Depends on who it was.”

“Uhm.” You nod.

You found yourselves incredibly close, maybe a few inches away.

“Uh it’s your turn.” You whisper.

Your eyes were flicking between his eyes and his lips. Your noses slightly brush against each other. You hesitantly placed your hand at the top of his buttoned shirt. Your eyes were focused on your movements. You just hooked your finger on the top of his shirt but didn’t tug. You then watched Jungkook’s hand come up and tuck a strand of you hair behind your ear that had fallen in your face. It was slow and it felt as if he was taking his time, he didn’t want to take his hand away. You both were breathing heavier.

You rest your forehead against his and you meet his gaze, he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you for a moment.

“Do you want too?” He whispers, and even though you were alone, it was as If he only wanted you to hear it.

A sudden pound outside your doors startles both of you away from each other. You hear some laughter from people outside who we just passing down the hallway. Your heart was pounding out of your chest. Jungkook and You had basically retreated to the other sides of your bed. You felt very nervous all of the sudden and felt like you were completely on display. You stood up from the bed and paced a little.

“We should uh-…” You didn’t know what to do with your hands, “We should go get some air.” You laugh nervously and watch Jungkook stand from the bed.

“I agree.” He rubs the back of his neck.

//

“THAT’S IT?” Yuna’s voice makes everyone almost jump out of your skin. “You almost kiss? Come on, where is the spice?”

“Well we aren’t done.” Jungkook speaks up.

You had been completely avoiding looking at him for this whole part of the story. You already seemed fully on display with everyone watching you intently tell this story.

“Well after that we left the room. I was much more intoxicated then I had realized if I am being honest. We probably should have stayed inside, but we wanted to sober up to we just ran around the block.”

“Yeah we saw two guys throw up.” Jungkook adds and you cringe at remembering the thought.

“Hey so did we!” Namjoon spoke up, “But it was Yoongi and Hobi.”

“And you!” Yoongi retorts back and him and Namjoon scrunched his face up at the thought.

“Well what was next?” Sana was eager to continue the conversation, she was leaned over the side of the couch completely invested in your words.

“We just ran, the city had put up lights for the summer for some reason and so we just ran around under the lights for like half an hour.” Jungkook started, you were glad he did. You were kind of tired of talking the whole time. After all, this was his story too.

“It was really beautiful.”

“Probably chilling too.” Tae said very pointedly towards Jungkook.

You rolled your eyes as he chuckled a little bit.

//

You and Jungkook found yourselves basically falling into the elevator. The walk you both had done around the block was really nice. You both needed some air, and it felt good just to run around. You both were in fits of laughter over something Jungkook had said. You both were leaning on the back wall. You had found your avoiding complete eye contact with him since you were both alone in your room before.

“What time is it.” You ask almost breathlessly.

“It’s 4:30.” He groaned and laughed a little.

“Jesus, where are the others? Have you heard from them?” You lean towards him a little as he pulls out his phone.

“Last text I got was that they were heading to Paradise. That place stays open till 5 so they shouldn’t be too much longer.”

A small ‘oh’ drops from your mouth. You both stand in a comfortable silence. The elevator eventually reaches your floor and as soon as it opens you race out to Jungkook’s surprise.

“Race you.” You yell to Jungkook. You immediately took off down the hall, your room was all the way at the other end and you felt yourself laughing a little out of control.

You spin around to see Jungkook immediately following right behind you with a full smile on his face. A small yelp left your mouth as you try to run a little faster.

“Oh no you don’t”

Just as you feel your hands about to reach your door, you feel Jungkook’s arms wrap around your waist and lift you off the ground which resound in a bellowing laugh from you and Jungkook has to shush you. You were completely lifted off of your feet and spun around once, where Jungkook takes the opportunity to reach your door first. You turn around to see he is showing you a shit eating grin.

“You cheater!” Just before you’re about to run towards him, he opens the door just at that moment and you stumble and almost trip over yourself face first. Jungkook catches you one more time just around your waist.

You are completely doubled over in laughter. Jungkook’s arm pressed against your stomach doesn’t help. He is also completely amused by you and is laughing while trying to shush you once again. He pulls you up so you are stable on your feet and he closes the door behind him. He spins you around and you are just smiling from ear to ear, he tucks a hair away from your face. You finally have a moment to catch your breath. When you realize that you are basically pressed up against him.

You clear your throat and push yourself away from him and enter your room a little more with your back turned to him.

It would be a bad idea if something happened between the two of you.

“We should probably get some sleep. We’ve been running around for what feels like hours.” You smile, it was a really good night. You needed to probably drink some more water so you could help your hang over when you get up.

“Yeah, hey.” He gets your attention and you turn back around to him, “It was nice to see such a different side of you today. I like this a lot better than being strangers.”

“I do too.” You smile at him.

“Have a goodnight Y/N.” He gives you a tiny wave before he turns his back to you.

It almost felt like he was moving in slow motion. He slowly made his way to the door. You just took a moment to examine his figure. The cold air had done nothing to help you. The unanswered question hung on your tongue. You weren’t ready for the night to end just yet.

You wanted him.

“Jungkook.” You say a little louder than you intended.

“Yeah.” He spins on his heel to look back at you. His eyes were still sparkling.

“I never answered your question.”

Was this a bad idea? Was this going to make things more complicated? All of these thoughts had completely escaped you.

“Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow at you and he took a step back into the room. His eyes lowered looking at you.

“Yeah.” You say softly.

Jungkook slowly makes his way over to you, just up until he right in front of you.

“What is it then?” he leans to your ear, his breath fanning on your neck.

You heart had picked up and with how quickly it was beating you were sure Jungkook could hear it. You find yourselves in a very similar position. Jungkook’s face comes so close that your noses brush against each other once again. You are just staring at his lips, and you were completely breathless. Jungkook lifts his hand and places it on the back of your neck. His hand is hot on the back of your neck, it makes your skin rise with goosebumps.

“Yes.”

Jungkook smiles slightly before he pulls you into him and he presses your lips against his. You wrap your arms around his neck and he pulls your waist into his. It was slow at first but you both seemed to become a little more desperate for each other. You find your hands way into his hair. Jungkook pulls away from you to kiss down your neck, this elicits a small moan from you.

You feel Jungkook push you back till your back meets the wall behind you. Jungkook breaking away from you lowers himself to his knees, and his hands on the hem of your dress.

“Can I take this off?” He looks up to you, the sight of him on his knees in front of you sends a wave of heat through you and you feel yourself clench around nothing.

“Please.” You breathlessly say.

Jungkook takes his time. He slowly lifts the dress but as he lifts the hem higher, his lips are brushing against your skin, from up your thigh, and then up your stomach. He briefly stops to help you lift the dress completely over your head before his lips find their way back to yours. His tongue making his way into your mouth. One of his hands brings your leg up around him.

He breaks away from you for a minute, he just drinks you in for a moment. His eyes are dark and it sends a shiver through you.

“Let me know if there is anything you don’t want.” Your noses brush together. You just slightly nod. He lowly chuckles and leans into your ear, “I need to hear you say it, lovely.”

You whimper a little, “Okay.” Your eyes flutter close.

You can feel his hand hovering just over your underwear, you already knew that you were completely wet from your underwear sticking to you. He’s teasing you by just barely holding his hand there.

“I haven’t even done anything and you’re already so wet for me.” He meets his gaze with yours and he has a smirk on his face.

“Shut up.” You feel slightly embarrassed.

It hadn’t been that long since you had had sex but it’s been a few months, and right in this moment that feels like a lifetime ago. You couldn’t believe how quickly he was getting you riled up.

“Oh I will.” He hums, he felt like he had become a completely different person here. The teasing was agonizing.

“Jungkook please.” Your head falls back a little needing a little release.

“Tell me,” You looked away from him, “How long has it been since someone has pleased you?”

He was whispering right in your ear, his hand pressed into you just over your underwear again and it forces a moan out of you. He groans into the skin on your neck. You decide to take back control a little here and you begin to unbutton his shirt, he helps you and rips his shirt off of his arms. You couldn’t’ say you hadn’t noticed that Jungkook was in good shape but it was completely different having it right in front of you.

You could see all his tattoos that ran down his arm and you felt grateful to take in the sight.

“You’re beautiful.” You say almost instinctually, he laughs and little and pulls into him for a deep kiss. This kiss was way more intimate and you felt yourself smile a little. He pulls away just for a moment.

“You’re breathtaking.” He immediately kisses you again. The way he kisses you feels like he can’t get enough of you and you couldn’t get enough of him. You had both of your hands placed on either side of his face, keeping him close to you. He lowers his hands to grip around your thighs and he lifts you up, wrapping your legs around him. He backed you back into the wall again but you hit your head a bit.

You immediately let out a laugh because it didn’t hurt but Jungkook was worried.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” His eyes wide looking at you.

“I’m okay.” You were giggling and you kiss him again, using your legs to pull him into you. You could feel the bulge in his pants press against your core and it elicits a groan from you. Jungkook grips your thighs a little tighter after feeling the pressure against him.

He keeps his grip tight on you and he walks you over to the bed, he tries to lay you down gently, but you still bounce a bit and you smile looking up at him. You get the chance to look at him all over again hanging over you. It was a wonderful sight. He then disappears and you lean up to see that he is at the edge of the bed on his knees.

He sees you lean upwards and stands back up to meet you with a kiss and he gently places a hand on your chest to lay you back down. He breaks away from you.

“Let me take care of you.” he stares right into your eyes, it felt like he was staring into your soul.

“Okay.” You smile almost instinctually.

He lowers himself back out of sight and you feel him pull your underwear down your legs very quickly. He pulls you down the bed a little more and you let out a small squeal. You very suddenly feel him lick a stripe all way up your core. You let out a gasp at the feeling. He dips his tongue inside of you a few times. His tongue was hot against you and it was driving you crazy. Your legs had instinctually closed around his head. He had wrapped his hands around your thighs to keep you steady. His mouth had found its way to your clit.

It felt completely different then times before. He brings his mouth away from you. And you feel his hand press against you and rub a few times and then he slowly slides one finger into you and you bite down onto your bottom lip.

Jungkook reaches up with his other hand and reaches under your bra to play with your breast. His hand seems to completely cover your chest. You have both of your hands digging into the sheets next to you and he pulls his finger in and out of you slowly.

He takes no time to add another and you let out a small moan.

“Jungkook.” You moan.

He moves his fingers in and out of you more. You had good sex before but never had someone be this attentive to you. Jungkook without hesitation had you completely relaxed and added another finger inside of you. His long fingers pumping in and out of you relentlessly.

“What do you need?” He says lowly.

“Just… more.”

You were ready for him to fuck you, but he wanted to make you cum with just his mouth and hands. He wanted you to feel good in every way he could. He brings his mouth to your clit and you whimper a little because the stimulation was almost too much. It felt amazing though. You felt the heat in the pit of your stomach rising quickly. You could feel yourself clenching around Jungkook’s fingers. Jungkook hums against your core and it sends a wave of heat through you.

His fingers were hit that right spot inside of you. You had your eyes screwed shut and he was relentless on your clit and it felt amazing. You weren’t able to ever get yourself off with just your fingers, but Jungkook was going to have you cum with the way he was working you.

It’s like he could predict everything you needed.

“Please I’m going to cum.” You whine.

Jungkook brings his mouth away from you for a moment.

“Come undone for me.”

You feel the tightness in your stomach relax and completely cum all over Jungkook’s fingers. He keeps riding you out through your orgasm. He takes his fingers out of you, and you open your eyes to see him licking them clean. It sends a shiver through you seeing him do that. You’d never thought you would find him so sexy.

His eyes stare darkly at you and he crawls back on top of you. Before you can catch your breath he kisses you, and allows you to taste yourself. You moan into his mouth. He quickly detaches from you so he can start to take off his pants. You watch as he pulls down his trousers down his legs and you can see the bulge very prominently in his underwear. You sit up to the edge of the bed and Jungkook stops for a moment.

“Can I take these off for you?” You look up at him, you slowly slip down to your knees on the ground.

“Absolutely.”

You immediately pull down the side of his boxers and his dick stands prominently in front of you. he was longer rather than girthy. You were worried you wouldn’t be able to take all of him. You wanted to make him feel good they way he made you feel good.

“Can I?” You wanted to make sure it was okay.

“Yes.” He stutters out.

You grab his length and pump him a few times. He lets out a low grunt at your immediate touch. Precum has already leaked from his red tip. You bring his tip into your mouth, and Jungkook moans. You slowly pump him a little while you suck on his tip and you slowly start to make more of him in your mouth. You bob your head on him, taking more of him into your mouth at a time.

“God Y/N” He groans, his hands find his way into your hair but he doesn’t force you at all.

You hum against him which seems to make him shiver with pleasure. You pull away and there is a string of saliva between your mouth and the tip of his dick. It sends a wave of heat to you core at the sight. You then lick a stripe up on his length before taking him into you mouth again.

“Fuck.” He grunts.

You then take his full length into your mouth, you are able to hold back your gag to be able to take him all the way. You look up at him through your lashes and you start to bob him in and out of your mouth. He meets your gaze and you can see the complete lust in his eyes. You start to go fast before he shuts his eyes enjoying the sight in front of him.

He suddenly stops you.

“Woah.” He breathlessly says, “I don’t want to cum yet.”

You pull your mouth off of him.

“I want to make you feel good like you did me.” You look up to him.

“Oh I know,” he takes your hand and he pulls you to your feet. Placing a hand under your chin, “I just want to feel your pretty pussy around me when I cum.”

He says this in almost a whisper and your breath gets caught in your throat with the way he looks at you. You press your lips to his eagerly. You wanted all of him. You wanted to experience all of it with him. You both fall onto the bed behind you again. Jungkook catches himself before he can crush you. You love the way his body completely molds to yours as he’s on top of you, and your skin touching is electrifying. You have one leg wrapped around him and your hands are completely wrapped in his hair.

You could feel his dick pressed against your leg, so close to your core that’s it’s agonizing. You watch as he stares down at you for a moment, and he takes himself in his hand and pumps himself a few times. He then meets your gaze and he presses the tip of himself just at your entrance. You suck in a quick breath. The heat from his tip could melt you. You wanted to be wrapped around him. The way he’s teasing you by just swirling his tip around your entrance is almost too much.

“Please.” You whine, you wrap a hand around his neck and pull him into you. “Jungkook please.”

“So greedy.” He smirks, “Don’t worry I will give it all to you. It’s just so hot seeing you beg for it.”

You smile, you didn’t appreciate the teasing but his talking is getting you all wound up.

“We should probably use protection.” You gulp. You were more than okay with just having him inside of you without a condom too. You knew if he did though you wouldn’t be able to help yourself.

“You’re right.” You were breathing into each other. He hadn’t stopped what he was doing just yet, just running his tip along your entrance. He wanted it just as bad as you. His mind was becoming completely cloudy with you.

Jungkook begins to peel himself away from you. Not having the heat of him against you was frustrating. You needed him. He begins to walk away but you grab his hand and pull him back down on top of you.

“Where do you think you’re going just yet?” You smile at him and pull him in for a kiss, he smiles into your kiss. Wrapping one of his arms around underneath you.

You just enjoy Jungkook kissing you for a moment. You once again felt like there wasn’t enough of him for you. You didn’t want to break away even to get air. He pulls away from you for a moment, and the lack of heat makes you whimper.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He meets your eyeline again, and he slowly places a kiss on both sides of your neck. He wraps his hands under you to unhook your bra. You then pull it down your arms to toss it to the side. Jungkook just takes your naked body in for a moment. He places a light kiss to the center of your stomach.

You giggle because it was ticklish. He smiles up at you and does it again and bring your arms down to stop him. He takes both of your hands in his while you’re laughing and wraps your hands in his and places both of your arms above your head. His face hovers just above yours. You just have a stuck smile on your face as you stare at him.

“Don’t go anywhere.” You sigh.

“I won’t.” he shakes his head, he places a quick kiss to your lips.

“Good, because I need more of this.” You pull both of your hands down, you felt embarrassed saying it. You cover your face with your intertwined hands. He laughs a little, moving your hands away and kisses you.

“You’re so lovely.” He takes in all of your features. He lets go of one of your hands and his hand slowly moves down your body. He leans his head down to take one of your nipples into his mouth.

His fingers find their way back to your core and begin to rub you a few times.

“Jungkook…”you moan, you head falling to the side just taking in all the sensations.

“Oh say it again..” he breaks away from your chest and he’s stares at you completely wrapped up. He dips his fingers into your heat again and he can feel you quiver under his touch.

“Jungkook.” You moan a little louder this time. Before you could think he kisses you again before departing from you completely.

“I’m just going to get a condom.”

He pulls himself away from you and goes to get his wallet. He pulled the package out and he quickly rips it open. You felt nervous but you couldn’t be any safer than where you are right now. Jungkook rolls the condom onto his length, and he turns back to you and places himself over you again.

“You look so amazing.” He whispers in your ear and nibbles on your earlobe.

“Have you seen yourself?”

“You sure you want to do this?”

“Absolutely.”

You couldn’t wait any longer. You wanted to feel him.

“Jungkook.”

He stops and looks at you.

“It’s just been a while so go… slow.”

He smiled at you and left a peck on your lips.

“Of course.” He takes one of your hands in his.

Jungkook positions his tip at your entrance which was already wet. He then lifts his eyes to look at you. You had your eyes closed instinctually. He then slowly presses his tip into you and you let out a gasp. Jungkook has buried his head into the crook of your neck. He takes it just a little bit at a time, slowly stretching you out. You were breathing slowly to help yourself relax.

You feel one of Jungkook’s hand reaches in front of you to rub your clit to help you. It felt good because you could feel yourself clenching around him. He was placing kisses along your neck. Small moans kept escaping your lips. Jungkook stops for a moment.

“Hey-…”

You open your eyes to meet his eyes that have stars in them once again. He then bottomed out inside of you. Which made you completely let go.

“I wanted to see your eyes when I filled you up.”

“God Jungkook.” You needed some movement. You shifted your hips on top of him, but ultimately made you gasp. Jungkook let out a guttural moan. Seeing his face as you moved could have sent you over the edge.

“Does that feel good?” You lick your lips, and you slowly shifted your hips again.

“Fuck me.” He says breathlessly.

You couldn’t help yourself.

“I am.”

Jungkook let out a small laugh and almost fell on top of you. You wrapped your arms around him. He placed a small kiss to your chest. Before you had time to react he slowly pulled himself out of you just until his tip barely left you. His eyes met yours again, and he pushed himself back into you slowly.

Your head rolls back a little and you moan. Jungkook just takes the sight in and he slowly starts to move himself in and out slowly. The way he is moving himself is hitting right on your g spot but your orgasm is building slow. Its agonizingly good. Jungkook grabs your legs and hikes them around him. He ever so slowly picks his pace up more and more. He filled you up completely and seemed to fit just right inside of you.

“Jungkook… faster.” You stutter.

He doesn’t respond and immediately complies with your wish and he starts to go quite a bit faster. You hadn’t realized how vocal you were before but you let out a moan every time he would fill you back up.

“Quiet lovely, we don’t want to wake anyone.” He says lowly to you as he holds himself over you. You can’t help the noises you are making. He immediately comes down to kiss you and you just moan into his mouth. “It is so sexy how vocal you are for me.”

“God you’re so good,” you are completely breathless. Your breath catches every time he pounds into you. Jungkook had picked up his pace quite a bit. “I’ve been missing out.”

“So have I.” He then switches up his pace to slower but hard thrusts. “I saw you dancing earlier. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”

“Oh yeah?” You open your eyes to meet his gaze. “What were you thinking about?”

“I was thinking about how good it would be to be doing this.” He thrusts into you hard, causing you to Yelp a little. He presses his forehead to yours. “How good it would feel, to have your pussy wrapped around me. To pound into you and make you moan my name.”

You could feel heat spread completely around your body at his words.

“Why didn’t you come dance with me then?” You wraps your arms around his back.

The thought of him watching you dance and how you wanted someone to dance with makes your heart flutter.

“I didn’t know if you would want this.”

“Well, I can’t get enough now.” You stutter and he chuckles.

“God me too.” He starts to pick his pace back up again. Leaving soft kisses all down your neck as he continues. He pumps in and out of you’re a few more times.

Jungkook then comes to a complete halt and pulls out of you and you look at him.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

“Get on all fours.”

“What?” You widen your eyes.

“Get on all fours.” He has a force behind his tone, that sends a fire through you.

You immediately turn yourself over and you place yourself on your knees and hands but you feel Jungkook’s hand on the upper part of your back and he presses your shoulders so your face in the bed. Your ass is completely in the air exposed for him. You feel both of his hands run over your ass before you feel his hands make impression on both sides of you and you can feel his pelvis pressed against yours. He hasn’t positions himself to enter you yet.

“Is this alright?”

You nod your head. It was more than okay.

“Come on darling. I need to hear your voice.”

His voice makes your core clench around nothing.

“Yes.” You make sure your voice is clear.

“Good girl.”

He than positions himself back at your entrance and before you can think he has pushed himself all the way back into you. This position is a completely different pleasure. Your nails are digging into the sheets around you. Jungkook places his hands on top of yours as he begins to rock himself into you. You immediately yelp at the new sensation. Jungkook slowly picks up the pace again and you could tell that he didn’t have much left in him but he wanted to ride you out to your orgasm first.

“Jungkook, its so fucking good.” You moan and breathing heavier then before. You loved how much control he had taken over you.

“Good.” He moans. Just continuing his pace and he releases your hands to hold onto your hips and rocks you into him.

This made you let out small screams which would have been louder if you weren’t face first into the bed. You hadn’t had someone fuck you like this in a while. The way Jungkook was rocking into you was bringing you to your second orgasm faster than you had expected.

“Jungkook- fuck- I’m going to cum.” You whine. You were ready to release.

“Oh come for me darling. I want to feel you around me.” He

He reaches his hand down to rub your clit while he continues to pump into you. This brings you to your edge even faster. You feel the heat in your stomach completely release for the second time that night. Jungkook continued to ride you out through it one more time with a few more pumps. He knew you would be sensitive soon so he thrusts quickly. You whimper and the over stimulation but he quickly let’s go. You can feel the condom fill up in you and Jungkook leans over still inside of you.

You both are breathing heavily, and Jungkook slowly pulls himself out of you. You allow yourself to completely fall into the bed. You were spent. Hours of running around and drunk and getting fucked, you were done.

Jungkook discarded the condom in the garbage in the bathroom and he cleaned himself off. He then came back into the room and slipped his boxers back on. You could slowly feel sleep was slowly going to overtake you soon. You felt Jungkook place himself in the bed next to you. He pulls the blanket up and places it over you. You slowly turn yourself over to face him, you were sure you were completely fucked out.

“Hi.” You quietly say.

Jungkook begins to stroke your hair softly.

“Hi.” He smiles at you.

“I don’t have the brain power to put words to what we just did.” You giggle, and Jungkook laughs at you a little.

“That’s okay. You need to go pee before you sleep though and take off your make up.”

You groan because you know he’s right.

“Fuck.” You slowly drag yourself up. You realize you are still fully naked. “I’m naked.”

“Yeah- here.” Jungkook reaches to the ground and grabs his shirt. “You can put this on.”

“Thank you.” You basically just drape his button up over you, you don’t even bother to button it.

After you’ve gone to the bathroom, you slowly slump your way back to the bed with Jungkook’s shirt barely hanging on you. He just stares at you, with an expression you can’t quit place.

“I’m so tired.” You could feel yourself slowly falling into complete crying exhaustion.

“Come lay down.” He reaches his hand out to you.

You gladly accept it. You completely collapse next to him. You feel him pull you into him. He begins to rub your back and feel yourself falling victim to the warm heat of his body. It was so nice and welcoming.

“Wait!” You shoot up, your eyes weren’t even open and you make Jungkook jump.

“What?” He sits up with you.

“Don’t we need to talk about this?” You were barely getting your words out, Jungkook just turns your head to him and he places both of his hands on either side of your face and kisses you so gently.

“We will, not tonight. You are exhausted. Just sleep now.” He slowly moves you back to a laying position. He also buttons the top few buttons on the shirt.

“Okay.” You sigh, “We will talk tomorrow.”

You fall back into Jungkook’s warmth and sleep completely over took you.

//

To pick back up, you didn’t give your friends the explicit details of what happened. You explained just up until after you kissed the first time and just said that you slept together.

“So, you slept together and then what?” Jimin looked confused between the two of you, “Did you guys talk about it? Did you guys go on a date? What happened?”

“Yeah, like you guys just hooked up? Or what?” Hoseok exclaimed.

“Nothing happened.” You said, blankly.

“Yeah.” Jungkook spoke up, “That was it, we didn’t talk about it. It just was what it was.”

You both were looking at each other, even though both of you knew if was way more intimate than you had explained to your friends at all. You never knew why you and Jungkook had never talked about what happened.

“That was two years ago now?” Cece asked.

“Yeah.” You nod.

“We’ve probably hung out like a few dozen times since then?” Tae points out.

You knew this and Jungkook knows this, its just never come up.

“We just never acknowledge it. None of you guys knew, so there wasn’t anything to be weird about.” Jungkook coughed.

“So now can you all let it go?” You stand up from your seat. “Don’t some of you have work in the morning?” You look around the room.

“Y/N is right. As much as I love you all. I do have to kick you all out.”

With that everyone gets up from their spots and everyone begins to help Tae clean up around his house. Luckily it was only just a little past midnight and you could get a good nights sleep, not that you had anything else going on. Some of the others had to head out immediately but you didn’t want to leave Tae with all the work. You cleaned a up a bunch of cans and drinks that hadn’t been finished and brought them to the kitchen to dump them out in the sink. You heard someone come in behind you and you assume it’s Tae.

“Hey is there-…” You turn around to be met with Jungkook who was putting some trash in the bin.

“Hi.” He smiles at you.

“Hi.” You give him a polite smile back.

You nervously turn back around and continuing emptying drinks down the drain. Being alone with him felt very vulnerable now after just laying it all on the table for your friends. You were trying to think as why to why the two of you never spoke after that night. It felt like much more to you then just a night when it happened.

You went back to strangers after that night so quickly.

You felt a hand brush against your back and it makes you jump out of your skin.

“Oh sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Jungkook appeared next to you. You looked at him for a moment before looking away.

“You’re fine. I am just jumpy.” You smile and you continue to empty drinks.

He was silent just standing next to you for a moment.

“You didn’t have to tell everyone you know.” He spoke quietly.

“Oh I didn’t care. It was a long time ago Jungkook. If they want to know then it’s no harm done.” You shrugged, because it really didn’t bother you.

“Okay, you just seemed weird when you finished.” He looked concerned.

“I promise I’m not bothered.” You begin to wash your hands after dumping the drinks.

Jungkook begins to walk away from you before you hear him stop.

“Hey why didn’t we talk that next day?” You could feel his eyes on the back of your head.

You were confused.

“You left don’t you remember? You were gone the next morning.”

//

You were unpleasantly woken up light streaming in from a tiny crack in the curtains. Your brain was beating on the side of your skull. You lift your hands up to rub the sides of your skull. You regretted drinking so much the night before. You slowly sat up in the bed and felt a cold chill run over you. You rub your eyes and look down to realize that you were still completely naked from the night before.

“Oh god.” You muttered to yourself as it all came flooding back to you.

You glanced next to you and the bed was empty to no surprise. Jungkook must have slipped out at some time. That was okay, you hadn’t expected him to stick around.

You would have hoped you could have talked to him this morning though.

You grabbed your phone and luckily it still had a little charge. It was almost 11 in the morning. You also had several notifications from your group chat that everyone was in Tae’s room for breakfast. You set down your phone and pulled over your bag to throw on your change of clothes you brought with you. Your feet felt extremely heavy underneath you and your heels were painful to walk on.

You swung your door open and slowly dragged yourself to Tae’s room that was just a few doors down from you. The door was opened a bit, you let yourself in and it wasn’t a super loud morning. Your friends also looked like complete trash and exhausted from the night before. Everyone had just as dark of eye bags as you and were barely eating any of their food.

“Well don’t we just look like a barrel of fun.” You say, and everyone turns to see you.

Everyone greeted you with grunts and moans.

“Morning.” Taehyung waved to you, he was laying on the couch completely curled up into himself. You came and sat right next to him. “Help yourself to the food, I know I certainly can’t.”

He had some aspirin and water sitting in front of him. Jimin was sitting in one of the chairs and Yoongi was on the floor. Some of the others were sprawled onto Taehyungs bed.

No Jungkook.

“I thought you left this morning,” Yoongi turned to you, “We hadn’t heard anything from you all morning.”

“No I was also just waking myself up from death. I am probably not going be able to keep anything down this morning.” You lean over on Tae’s shoulder, you could feel the pounding in your head slowly returning.

“Do you need me to get you some aspirin?” Jimin glanced over to you, he seemed perfectly fine out of the most of us.

You nodded your head and you mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him and he went across the room to get it. You had taken the opportunity to look around the room as well. Jungkook was nowhere to be found amongst everyone. You sighed in disappointment, you hoped he was okay. Hopefully he didn’t get sick in the night.

Jimin came back with a glass of water and two pills for you.

“Hey we are missing a few of us.” You say to Jimin, if anyone would know it would be him.

“I know Jin and Cece are still in their own rooms, completely passed out I am sure. Than I’m actually not sure where Jungkook ran off too. I think he might of left. I think he had some things he had to finish this morning.” He took his place back into his chair and fell back into his phone.

“Oh, okay.” You also pull out your phone to see if maybe he had left you a text.

Nothing.

“Jungkook asked about you too this morning.” Tae grumbled next to you as he curled into himself.

“Oh yeah?” You tried not to sound too eager.

“Yeah he was just making sure you were alright. None of us had seen you yet so no one was sure.” Yoongi added.

You couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed

//

“I realize now I maybe could have reached out to you but you just left. So I took that as an answer that maybe you hadn’t wanted to talk.” You folded your arms over yourself and you were leaned against the counter. Jungkook had placed himself leaning against the fridge straight across form you.

“I did want to talk though.” He spoke up.

“Then why did you just leave?” You look at him confused.

“Everyone had told me you had left.” He stood straight up, “I went to breakfast too. I must have been earlier than you but I went to breakfast. Taehyung said he hadn’t seen you and Yoongi told me you had left.”

“Well like I said I was still passed out.” You rub the back of your neck. “Well wouldn’t you have known I was still around if you had stayed in my room?”

“Well no, I didn’t want to make anything weird so at about 8 I went back to my room before Jimin could wake up. Figured we didn’t need him asking questions.”

You laugh at him with a little pity.

“You must have only gotten like three hours of sleep.” You sigh.

“It was worth it.” He smiled, “I think maybe this can all be chocked up too we were both stupid and didn’t communicate well.”

You nodded.

“Why didn’t you text me or something?” You still found yourself lost, it would have been so easy to reach out.

Again though, you didn’t reach out either.

“Well, I think I thought you had left because maybe you were embarrassed by it all. So I left it alone.”

You both just stared at each other for a moment. You kind of realized how stupid it all sounded. That you both just assumed that the other didn’t want to talk about what had happened. That you both just sat on some unspoken confessions for two years now. Because if you were being honest with yourself, you had that night pop into your head many times. It hurt even more that possibly you had been feeling the same way but still acted like strangers.

“We are kind of stupid aren’t we.” You smile to yourself.

“Maybe.” He laughs a little, “But like you said that was a long time ago.”

Taehyung and Jimin then round the corner to the kitchen laughing about something before they both come in sight of both of you.

“Woah guys keep your clothes on.” Jimin jokingly covers his eyes, “Can’t leave you two alone anymore.”

“Shut the fuck up.” You shove Jimin’s shoulder, and he laughs.

“Tae is there anything else we can help clean up?” You look over to him but he waves you off.

“No, you guys can go. I am not too worried about it too much.” You pat your pockets to make sure you’ve got everything.

“Are you sure? I can stay a bit” You wanted to make sure you weren’t leaving him with a ton of work.

“Yeah we can help if we need.” Jungkook added.

“No, go home guys. Though I will see you on Saturday though right Y/N?” Tae pointed his finger at you and you nodded.

“Yes, I might be late but I will be there.”

“That reminds me,” Tae turned to Jungkook, “I hadn’t asked you yet if you wanted to join us for drinks on Saturday.”

“Yeah I’m sure I could be there.”

After that you said your goodbyes. Jimin was staying the night and Tae’s because he had been drinking just a bit too much. You and Jungkook just left together in silence. You weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him now.

When you both got outside of Tae’s building you were both greeted by a cold gust of wind.

“Jesus it’s freezing.” You wrap your arms around yourself.

“Yeah, are you parked too far?”

“No my car is right here.” You had gotten a space right in front of Tae’s place luckily.

You go to unlock your door to your car.

“Hey Y/N.” Jungkook had appeared next to you.

“Yeah.” You take a moment to look up at him.

“Can we not do the stranger thing anymore now?” He asked so softly, he had what looked like a little sadness behind his eyes.

“Yeah, I would like to not have to do that anymore.” You smile.

“Good.” He took a few steps backwards away from you. “Have a goodnight.”

“Yeah you too.” You gave him a small wave before rushing into your car.

You get your car turned on to help heat yourself up. You watch out your front mirror, Jungkook disappearing down the street. You hoped he didn’t have to walk to far to his car. You genuinely did hope that this would open up that door for you two to actually spend more time together. That was your original plan in the first place. For one thing you didn’t imagine you would be telling everyone you had slept together, but it did feel like a wall was lifted between the two of you. You hoped you could spend more time together after this.

//

*A Few Nights Later*

“Please.” Whine, you wrap a hand around his neck and pull him into you. “Jungkook please.”

“So greedy.” He smirks, “Don’t worry I will give it all to you. It’s just so hot seeing you beg for it.”

You immediately shot up from your bed, feeling almost breathless as you shook yourself awake.

You had never dreamed about that night before.

Your entire body felt hot and sweaty. You had felt some heat pooled in between your legs. You could almost laugh at yourself even though no one was around to see you. You shook your head and tried to clear your mind before trying to sleep again.

Your mind went back to Jungkook again.

You had found yourself thinking about him for the past few days. You both had started texting each other a little bit more than usual but it wasn’t anything crazy. Just small conversations here and there. He would send you something funny on instgram or from tik tok. You both were just being friendly. You had caught yourself smiling seeing his messages a few times too. It was all a little confusing as to how to go about all of this.

You obviously still found him very attractive, and funny, and kind.

His eyes still had that starry look too them as you had seen many times before.

You felt your phone buzz next to you. You pulled it out from under your pillow to see, funny enough, a text from Jungkook.

JK: asdncjdsi.

:what? lmao

JK: Sorry, didn’t mean to send that.

JK: Hi

:Hi? It’s three in the morning.

JK: I actually just woke up… randomly.

:Why don’t I believe that?

JK: you’ll just have to trust me

:So you thought texting me would help?

JK: Maybe… do you have a good bedtime story you could tell me?

:It’s called shut up and go to bed

JK: Hmm, not familiar with that one… care to share?

You roll your eyes and put your phone down, so you can try to go back to sleep yourself. You felt your phone buzz again, and you pick it up once more.

JK: Why are you awake?

You sighed. Unfortunately, he was the culprit.

:Fanaticizing a life where you don’t text me at three in the morning

JK: Awe you were thinking about me?

:Go away

You set your phone down again and allow yourself to try to fall asleep again. This time Jungkook really did leave you alone.

//

Tae had come over to borrow some stuff from you the next morning and he ended up lounging at your place for most of the day.

You liked to binge movies together every so often and he had just decided today was one of those days. You both also just chatted through the movies most of the time, Tae probably had been your closest friend since you graduated, and since the beginning of college really.

There really wasn’t anything you two hadn’t shared with each other.

You felt bad though because for most of the day your brain had been a bit of a fog, you hadn’t even noticed he had been chatting at you for the last five minutes.

“Y/N?” Tae had kicked you in the shin from the other side of your couch and you jumped.

“Ow.” You looked up at him and then threw a pillow towards him, “What the hell?”

“I’ve been talking to you!” He looked a little upset at you, and you retreated back under your blanket a bit.

“Oh… sorry. My mind is just not here right now.” You sigh and you kind of get yourself to focus back on the present again.

“You have kind of been that way all week. Is everything alright?” He sat up straight so he could listen to you and he placed his chin in one of his hands to lean on.

“I’m fine. Work has just been a lot and I haven’t been sleeping super well.” You rub your eyes.

“Why haven’t you been sleeping?” He looked genuinely concerned, heat spread all over your cheeks and you were sure you turned red. You knew you couldn’t tell him why you weren’t actually sleeping.

You would never hear the end of it.

“It’s nothing.” You look away from him. He kicks you in the ankle again. “Stop doing that!”

“Tell me! Stop hiding from me!”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not hiding!...I just have been-…” You trail off and mumble under your breath a little.

“You have to speak up I didn’t understand what you said.” Tae held a hand to his ear jokingly.

“No because if I tell you, you won’t shut up about it.” You furrow your eyebrows and fold your arms over your chest.

“I promise I won’t do that. Now tell me!”

You didn’t believe him.

“I’ve been having… dreams.”

“Sexy dreams?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Sorry, continue.”

“I have been having dreams…” You pause for what felt like an eternity, “About Jungkook.”

Tae looked like he had to take a second to process before he took in what you had said. His eyes then went wide and excited almost like a child.

“You’re totally in love with him.” He smiled widely at you, you covered your face away from him.

“I’m not in love with him! I’m just confused by sexy feelings.”

“Awe so your coochie wants him?”

“Please never talk about my coochie again.” You give him a disgusted look and he laughs at you.

“Hey,” He took a little bit of a more serious tone, “Why didn’t you ever tell me what happened between you two?”

You let out a long sigh, you didn’t even have a good answer for this.

“I don’t know if I’m being honest.” You sat up straight on the couch and pulled your knees to your chest, “I think maybe I was embarrassed because it got so weird after that between me and Jungkook and we hadn’t even had the chance to talk about it. When we all hung out the other night was the first time we had even addressed it since it happened.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah… now that it’s all unpacked. So all the feelings I was supposed to process two years ago got to be put on display in front of all of our friends. So now I am just in a fog.”

“Have you and Jungkook talked since the other night?”

“We briefly talked after, it turns out all of this was just a big miscommunication.”

“So he regretted sleeping with you?”

“No the opposite actually, apparently he also wanted to talk about it after it happened but it was just like… a missed connection. We both got some wires crossed and thought that neither of us wanted to talk about it… so we didn’t.”

“That… sucks. So you two probably totally could have ended up getting together?”

“Maybe… I have no idea now.” You got up off the couch and you walked to the kitchen to get yourself some water. “I didn’t want to give you guys the explicit details of what happened that night but it felt like much more than just fucking each other.”

“How so?”

“It seemed like we were supposed to start something. It felt like the start of something.. because to be honest it was so intimate. It was much more making love than just a hook up.”

“That’s like kind of stupid cute if you ask me. Why don’t you go for it now? I’m surprised you didn’t. You both had confessed to each other that you had found each other attractive.” Tae shrugged and you chewed on your bottom lip.

“The thing is, is that I have no idea if that’s something he even would want.” You could feel yourself start to way over think this.

“Well have you asked him about it?”

“No.” You said in a mono tone voice.

“You’re an idiot.”

You roll your eyes at him, he was right though. You come back with your glass of water and sit back next to him on the couch.

“We have been texting though, just little things here and there.” You smile to yourself.

“That’s a good start.”

“That doesn’t mean he would want to be in a relationship with me.”

“I think you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to make something happen. Just be casual and if it happens then it happens.” He pats you on the shoulder and he was right.

You sighed to yourself and you just tried to let it go for now. You just had been having a hard time getting it all out of your head. It was nice to finally have people know what happened so you could openly talk about how you felt about it all finally. You could imagine Jungkook probably wasn’t thinking about it all that hard. You just couldn’t stop thinking about him.

“Can I ask…” Tae leans into you like he’s telling you a secret, “Was he good?”

“If I tell you will you let it go?” You eye him and he nods and gives you a thumbs up. “If I had to be honest, it is probably the most electrified I’ve ever felt in my life.”

Tae dramatically sighed away from you and you smacked him in the shoulder.

“The most electrified? You’re telling me you didn’t go back to him screaming?”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“Well I’m glad you told me. Now I can come up with my devious plot to get you two together.” Tae gave you a devilish grin. You gave him a pointed look.

“Tae, seriously don’t meddle. Jungkook and I are just starting to like actually talk and I don’t want to mess it up.” You start to pick at your nails between your hands.

“Fine. I promise I won’t meddle.” He looked disappointed, “I will say, you two just randomly hooking up with each other is not something I ever saw coming.”

“How so?” Not to say you disagreed with him.

“I didn’t think you two hated each other but I didn’t think you even cared that the other existed. You two never really spoke, in all the time I’ve known you both.”

“It’s funny because it turned out we both had this secret mutual attraction to each other.” You smiled to yourself, recalling your conversation.

“Did he tell you that he was going to ask you out like way back in our sophomore year?”

“Yes actually. He said you said I didn’t seem like I was in the place for a relationship.” Which if you remember correctly was true, you were in the middle of some serious classes and you had just wanted to completely focus that year.

“Now I’m mentally cursing myself for not letting him go for it. I mean who knows what would have happened.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“If it had worked out it probably would have saved me a lot of heart break.” You cringed thinking about your relationships you had through college.

“Yeah, you dated some losers.” Tae poked you, you couldn’t say you disagreed.

You two just stayed there for a while and watched more movies, Tae really helped you think it all through, but you still weren’t sure what you wanted to do about Jungkook. It was nice to get it off your chest and talk about it.

//

You had found yourself out on Saturday. Once again, the whole crew once again head out to destroy the town. You had shown up a little late to the party, everyone had met up at a club, you had some work from home you had to finish up before you could meet up with everyone. The immediate air you were met with was human and sweaty from so many people dancing. Saturdays were usually busy but this was the busiest one you had seen here in a while.

Jin had texted you earlier and said that they had gotten a booth somewhere towards the back of the club, you dreaded the thought because it meant you were going to have to push your way through the dance floor to get to it.

The music in the middle of the room was much louder than the other areas, so much so you felt like you couldn’t hear yourself think. There were people packed wall to wall basically, the bar had people lined from end to end. You wouldn’t have thought it was some sort of specials night how many people were here. You still were just trying to push through people on each side of you.

You felt a hand rest on your shoulder behind you and your instincts immediately kicked in and you turned around to be face to face with Jimin.

“You made it!” He beamed at you with a huge smile on his face, he immediately pulled you into a hug. He smelled like he had already had a few drinks and possibly had been dancing for a while.

“I finally made it!” You yell back to him, “Where is everyone, I have been trying to push my way through.”

“I’ve got you!” Jimin takes your hand into his, “Jungkook come on!”

Jimin waved behind him, Jungkook had seemed to have gotten caught in a conversation with a blonde. He politely pulled himself away from her, when he made direct eye contact with you. He seemed to completely light up when seeing you. So did you.

You both had been talking more and more every day. You hadn’t seen him since the week before, so it was nice to finally hang out for the first time, not as strangers.

“Hi.” You smile at him. He makes his way over to you and Jimin.

“Hi.” He basically had to yell back to you, over the people around you that are cheering for the dj.

“We are heading back to the table!” Jimin pops up in between the both of you. Jimin still head a crushing grip on your hand.

Before you can get another word in, Jimin is dragging you through the crowd. You almost stumble over yourself. You look back to Jungkook and you reach a hand out to him to follow, he reaches and grabs your hand and also begins to get dragged along by Jimin.

He laces his fingers in between yours. Jungkook catches up behind you pretty quickly, he follows right behind you, not letting go of your hand.

You eventually come to a clearing off people but come to a few tables piled close to a booth. All of your friends piled around it.

“Look who’s here!” Jimin shouts to everyone. Tae immediately comes up from the table to come hug you.

You break your hold on Jungkook’s hand.

You were greeted by everyone variously. You were glad to see that everyone had seemed to make it out this time. It’s been a while since everyone was out at the bar together. It gets harder to go out as you all get busier. Being an adult is a total rip off.

You found yourself being pulled into sitting in the booth next to Tae and Yuna was sat on the other side of him.

“You both made it just in time for shots.” Tae bounced next to you. “All on me.”

“Both?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah Jungkook just got here too.” Jimin said pulling up a chair at the end of the table. Jungkook was stood talking to Namjoon.

“You guys gotta catch up.” Yuna cheers.

A moment later a waiter comes by with a whole platter of shots ready for everyone. He distributes one to everyone. On a three count everyone downs them, having it be your first shot of the night it burns going down.

“Here mark it.” Tae gives you the pen that is in his shirt. You figured it was a good idea since you had no idea how much you were going to drink. You mark the one tik mark on your wrist.

A hand from next to you plucks it from you.

You look next to you that Jungkook had fallen into the place next to you. He took the pen and also made a mark on is wrist.

“Hey stranger.” He looks up to meet your gaze.

“You gonna try to out drink me tonight?” You eye him. He laughs a little.

“That’s not hard too do, you’re a light weight after all.” He teases. “Although I think Tae already has all of us beat.”

You glance over to Tae who you knew already had to at least been five in, sure enough when you check his wrist he has five little tick marks.

“You need to be careful friend.” You poke Tae’s arm and he waves you off.

“You’re not my mom!” He pouts, and you roll your eyes at him.

You turn back to see Jungkook was talking to Yoongi who was standing at the end of the booth, and feel Tae lean in next to you close to your ear.

“Yes Tae?” You give him a side eye and you can already see the smile on his face.

“You going to go for it tonight?” He tries to whisper but luckily is mostly drowned out by the music so nobody else heard.

“I’m not planning to do anything.” You push his face away from you and you laugh.

Some of the others began to break away to go dance. You were certainly not the best dancer but you did like it when you were only surrounded by your friends who also could not dance very well. You probably needed at least another drink in you before you could have to courage to head out there.

“I’m going to go get a drink.” You try to say loudly and you shoved Jungkook a little bit, He immediately lets you out of the booth. You trot your way over to the bar and you just order yourself a AMF, it had a lot of alcohol so you would be able to get some courage running through you to dance here soon.

After a minute the bar tender hands you the drink. You weren’t sure how many tik marks you were going to need to add to your wrist when you got back to the table. You turned around and leaned against the bar to glance back at your friends. Your eyes immediately fell on Jungkook who had been showing Tae something on his phone, and they both seemed pretty amused by it. You took a moment just to take in Jungkook.

He had some of his hair tied back into a ponytail, he had a black jean jacket just over a tee shirt and he had some baggy pants on. He still looked incredibly good. You had never taken in his style before, it was unique to him. Definitely made him seem like he was a emo kid when he was younger probably. You were also dressed in all black though so you could argue the same thing for yourself.

Cece and Sana bust their way out of the crowd and immediately come to where you are standing at the bar.

“Come dance with us!” Cece tries to drag you but you pull your hand away from her.

“Not yet, I would rather embarrass myself when I have finished this whole thing.” You had maybe drank a quarter already but it hadn’t hit your system just yet.

“Come on no one will even be looking at you!” Sana says, she leans over the bar to order something for herself. The bartender just hands her a shot of tequila. “Unless you’re waiting to dance with someone.”

Sana wiggles her eyebrows, and her eyes point to Jungkook, Cece giggles next to you.

“I am not waiting for anyone.” You say very directly, but you are trying to hold back a smile.

“Hey, at least you got to hit that. I’m jealous.” Cece leans an arm on you and you both almost lose your balance.

“Why don’t you go get him then?” You say, but it leaves a bad taste on your mouth sending your friend after him.

“One, I’m not here to get in your way. Two, he’s definitely not my type. I see what you like him though with the whole dark aesthetic thing going on.” She smiled at you, you liked how cool she was about it.

“I’m just here to hang out with my friends. I’m not looking for anything to happen.” You knew both of them were eyeing you but you kept your eyes to the ground.

“Well, if you do change your mind, I would do it soon.” Sana points back to the table, where you see someone had already come over to talk to Jungkook.

“You may have never noticed because you weren’t paying attention before probably, Jungkook is always that guy wherever we go.” Sana rolled her eyes and she had also acquired a shot from the bartender.

You thought about what she said and you guess you had never noticed it before.

“Lots of girls will come up and do the touching and the flirting etcetera. He’s a catch, and he’s charming if you hadn’t noticed.” Cece added, “He rarely ever goes for it though, I have only ever seen him actually dance with any of them a few times. If that helps.”

Cece winks at you but you shouldn’t let any of it bother you. He doesn’t owe anything to you not to flirt back or go dance with any of them.

“He’s a grown man, he can do what he wants.” You then felt yourself sucking nothing out of your straw from your drink. You hadn’t realized you had sucked the whole thing down. You were going to be fucked up faster than you had anticipated.

The girl who was with him had pulled herself up a chair, she was doing all the moves she could to elicit some physical contact with him. He seemed to be having a nice conversation with her though. He didn’t seem like he wanted to retreat from her. He was more than allowed to go dance with her if he wanted, she was very pretty. He seemed to make her laugh about something.

Before you had the chance to look away though, Jungkook caught your line of sight.

His eyes softened at the sight of you. He still had such lovely eyes. You turned your gaze down though. You set your drink down on the bar.

“You know what, I think I am ready to go dance.” You smiled.

“Yay!” Cece cheers and she takes your hand into yours and the three of you pile into the crowd in front of you.

You could tell the alcohol was starting to hit your system. So, you wouldn’t really have to think about what you looked like or danced like. Even though you knew you were terrible.

You seemed to dance for what felt like a long time. You didn’t bother to move around too much. Song after song you Cece and Sana would just mostly be jumping and screaming lyrics at the top of your lungs. Again it was mostly you just jumping around and the it all was feeling like a blur because of the lights and the fact you could barely hear yourself. You found yourself spinning in circles a lot, because it felt like you were just free.

Sana had eventually gotten Namjoon and he joined us in our little dance circle. He was just vey large and didn’t know how to move his body very well but he made it a very enjoyable time. You had also spotted Tae and Jimin dancing with people here and there but they had been doing there own things.

You were quite buzzed but not drunk for sure. Everything just felt jiggy and good and you felt a little invincible.

Eventually everyone needed a little break and so the three of you giggled your way our of the crowd with Namjoon following in toe behind the three of you. You were all stumbling a little but you were able to get yourself back on your feet okay. You figured it might be a good time to sit down and rest. Once you had cleared your way back to the table you found Yoongi and Yuna at the booth alone.

“Where did everyone else go?” You huffed as you plopped yourself down.

“Mostly everyone is on the dance floor now. Jungkook is getting me a drink. Some guy has been creeping on me so I didn’t feel good going up.” Yuna said.

Cece slid in on the other side of the booth of her, and Namjoon and Sana took the seats on the end of the table.

“Wow what a gentlemen.” Cece teased wiggling her eyebrows at you.

You glanced over to the bar to see the back of Jungkook’s body faced away from the table. You were having a hard time focusing so you had to lay your head down on the table. Everything was sideways now. Still, you could see that once again some other girl seemed to be chatting with him again, completely different girl from earlier. You sighed heavily and Yoongi took notice.

“What are you huffing about?” he bumped your shoulder. You groaned at the sudden movement.

“Do you think he likes that type of girl?” You stared down at the table.

“If you are talking about Jungkook, than no. He just gets hit on a lot.” Yoongi patted you on the back, “What? Worried your fuck buddy is going to get snatched up from under you?”

“He’s my one time fuck buddy.”

“We’ll see.”

You weakly punched him in the shoulder. You don’t get why everyone was so set on you and Jungkook all of the sudden. You knew they liked to tease you but you felt like everyone was in on something you didn’t know about.

Jungkook than seemed to brush off the girl he was talking too and he walked himself back but his hands were balancing a few drinks. He had such large hands.

You shouldn’t be thinking about his hands.

“Okay, here is your drink Yuna.” He pushed a brightly colored drink in her direction, “Than here are three waters for the party animals.”

“Where is my water?” Namjoon pouted at him.

“You haven’t had anything to drink. I’m not too worried about you right now.” Jungkook pushed a water over to Cece and Sana and then put one right in your face. The side of the cup made him looked all warped and you giggled.

Jungkook caught on to what you could see and he made a funny face, which just looked worse in the glass and you laughed a little. You then felt his hand come up on your back and it made you flinch and sit up straight.

“Are you okay?” He asked, he had a little worry in his eyes. His hand had retreated away.

“N-nothing. You just scared me is all.” You smiled, and his eyes softened. You hadn’t expected him to try to comfort you.

“You should drink some of the water. It’ll help.”

“Water bad. Table against brain, good.” You laid your head back down onto the table again. You wanted to have another drink but considering how many shots were in your AMF you should probably wait a little.

He pushed some hair away that had fallen over your eyes. His eyes were completely locked on you. His hand moved to rub your back and you didn’t protest this time. It felt nice, his hand was warm. You could have almost felt yourself almost begin to fall asleep. You decided to fight the feeling though because you hadn’t even been out that long to feel tired. You sat up enough to take a sip of the water to help fight the feeling. Jungkook’s hand didn’t leave your back. Just rubbing it in light circles.

“Why haven’t you come to dance yet?” You turned to look at him.

“Do you want me too?” He raised an eyebrow to you.

“Yeah, it’s fun! I think you would like it.” You give him a soft smile, you really would like to dance with him. It didn’t have to be bumping for grinding or anything, you just wanted to have a good time with him.

“Here, finish the water first and I’ll come dance. Deal?” He held his other hand to you to shake, you lazily took it and shook it.

“You got a deal, oh I can’t wait to see your dance moves.” You give him a cheeky smile. You took the glass of water and you drank it down pretty quickly. Which cooled you down a ton. You were sure you didn’t smell good, which wasn’t something you were totally keen for Jungkook to experience from you.

“Alright I drank my water. Dance time mister.” You poke him in the chest.

He laughed at you and he got out of the booth and held a hand out for you to help you out. You almost don’t let go of his hand but he pulls it away so he can take his jacket off. He didn’t want to keep it on since it was going to get hot. You give him a wide smile and hold your hand out to him again. He clasped your hand in his, and you began to drag him to the middle of the floor. You had pushed past quite a few people but you made it to a clear spot.

You hadn’t felt it before but your heart was pounding against your chest. You felt like your entire body had been set on fire. You had your hand sit wrapped around Jungkook’s but you hadn’t turned back around to look at him.

You just decided to not think. Don’t put pressure on it.

You turned around and found yourself basically pressed against Jungkook. You gulp hard, don’t think. You basically just went back to what you had been doing before, just yelling the lyrics at the top of your lungs and just jumping around. You took both of Jungkooks hands in yours.

He was completely mesmerized by you, just completely letting go.

He couldn’t help but laugh at you because you would forget some lyrics here and there and mumble though it but at the top of your lungs. You just waved interlocked hands around, you were a little nervous to get closer. Jungkook then took one of your hands and pulled you into him. You lost your breath a little bit.

His eyes had that starry look in them.

You wrapped both of your arms around his neck. You felt both of his hands press into your lower back, closing any space between the both of you. Jungkook took a little control back and sway you both to the music. It felt nice being so close to him. It could have just been the alcohol but you felt your body completely mold to his. Jungkook had moved his head and completely bared it in your neck, it was a little ticklish so you let out a laugh, but he didn’t let you move away from him.

One of your hands had found its way into his hair, you mostly were just feeling it between your fingers. It was soft and you, without even have thought about it, had tugged on it a little. Jungkook lifted his head to meet your gaze, he had a confused expression. He didn’t pull away from you at all.

“Did you just pull my hair?”

You were embarrassed.

“No. Maybe.” You smiled, “Maybe a little.”

You giggled a little bit, completely out of embarrassment.

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” You sputter a little bit, Jungkook leaned back down to you, his lips brushing against your cheek.

“I liked it.” He said lowly.

You felt his hands grip on your hips, this made you yelp a little but it was certainly drowned out by the music. His lips grazing against your skin slightly. You send a wave of heat through you. He spun you around so that your back was pressed against him. You both were just swaying with the music and your ass was pressed up against his crotch. You could feel his bulge pressed up against you. He didn’t seem like he was trying to hide it.

Flashes from the night you two were together enter your mind, how he had you in a position where he pounded you from behind. The thought of it was making you act up a little, and having Jungkook’s hands all over you again wasn’t helping.

“Getting a little excited are we?” Jungkook says right into you. You smile to yourself, you were glad it was dark because he can’t see you turn red.

“I could say the same about you.” You say, and he hums into the skin on your neck.

“What do you need?” He pressed a kiss to the skin on your neck and it sends a shiver through you. He leaves a few more kiss down your neck.

“God I don’t know.” You stutter. You feel one of his hands find the skin just under your shirt. He didn’t go any further.

You wanted him. You wanted to experience every little bit of him again. You didn’t want to pass up the opportunity again.

“I won’t do anything you don’t want.”

“It’s difficult to say what I won’t let you do right now.” You giggle a little, you feel him smile against your skin. “I’m surprised you even are paying attention to me with all those beautiful women hanging off you earlier.”

“I didn’t want any of them.” He then used his leverage on your hips to spin you around to face him. “I want you.”

“You’re drunk.” You don’t look at him directly. He takes your chin in his hand and he gently turns your head so your eyes meet.

“Don’t think I didn’t catch you staring earlier.”

“I wasn’t staring.” You roll your eyes.

“What were you doing then?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Admiring the lighting.” You sounded completely unbelievable.

“Mhm, well I’ll say I shamelessly was staring at you.” He gave you a soft smile.

Both of your faces had gotten incredibly close now. You were looking between his lips and his eyes. It felt like you were both unsure whether this was the right move. You lean forward a bit and you only brush lips slightly but didn’t kiss. Jungkook does the same in hesitation, but you feel this rush through you and you press your lips against his.

Jungkook’s hands completely press you into him and you place your hands on both sides of his face. Neither take a moment to brake away for air just completely wrapping yourself up in each other. You find yourself smiling through it. You were completely wrapped up in the smell of his cologne. He was intoxicating, everything was feeling even more fuzzy and warm as you were just wrapped up in him.

He breaks away from you for a second. Just to get some air. You both were heavily breathing each other in.

“Y/N!” You hear a voice from behind you. You break your self away from Jungkook to turn to see who it was.

You found yourself met with Tae and Jimin who were walking towards you. You hadn’t seen both of them in a while.

“Hi!” You straighten yourself up, “Where have you guys been all night!”

“Dancing! We were up by the Dj!” Jimin was basically screaming in your face. It made you laugh, because you figured he probably couldn’t hear a thing.

“We were just heading back to the table!” Tae was also basically screaming in your face, you laughed.

“Jungkook!” Jimin screamed and jumped to hug him behind you.

“What were yall doing!” Taehying scared you out of your skin.

“We were uh-…” You felt your cheeks turn red. “We were just dancing.”

Tae didn’t believe you for a second, smirked at you. Then he grabbed Jimins arm pulling him away from Jungkook. “Come on! Let’s go get some water!” Tae gives you a knowing look and you couldn’t help but face palm. “You two have fun!”

Jungkook turns back to you.

“You want to go back with them?” He asks, he takes your hand in his.

“Sure.” You smile at him.

You both start to work your way back through the crowds of people, before you make it back to your table where Jimin and Tae had already grabbed some chairs. Most of the others were back now too, mostly all taking breaks to let their feet rest. You and Jungkook stood at the end of the booth. He had himself placed behind you, so everyone didn’t have to see you both were still holding hands. He had also been running his hand up and down your back.

The night continued on with some more drinks. You had had a few more and so did Jungkook. You had gotten to dance with Tae and Jimin as well. It was nice to just party around with them. You all eventually had all been dancing together and had your friends own little dance party in the middle of the club.

Jungkook stayed with you the whole time, he would steal touches and a kiss or two every so often from you. He was leaving you completely breathless. It all ended a little too soon though, the club slowly came to a close and everyone was kicked out. Everyone slowly piled out the door and into the streets.

“I’m not ready to be done!” Yuna whined and she was hanging off of yoongi’s shoulder.

“Bitch you’re wasted, you need to go home.” Hoseok scolded her, and picked up her other shoulder so Yoongi and him were both basically carrying her.

“Do you guys need help getting her home?” Jungkook asked the two of them, but they waved him off.

Yoongi had only one drink so he was fine to get both of them home.

“I brought my car so if anyone needs a ride, come with me now.” He announced to everyone. Jin and Cece had taken him up on that and they followed them down the street.

“Get home safe!” You yell to them.

You weren’t in the best shape either. All the alcohol had caught up with you hard, Jungkook was the only thing keeping you standing up. You were also uncontrollably giggling.

Tae and Jimin had ordered and uber but they were heading to the other side of town with Namjoon and Sana.

“Hey are you two okay to get home?” Namjoon asked but you weren’t even sure if that is what he actually said.

“Yeah I got us. I have an uber on the way.” Oh yeah you had forgotten you had given Jungkook your address. He was just going to get you back to your place.

You watch as they all pile into the car and give you waves and shouts goodbye. You blew them all a kiss goodbye with a giggle. Jungkook was just holding onto you, making sure you don’t accidentally trip over yourself. You just leaned into him, it was rather cold outside so having the heat of his body on your back was nice. Now that you were both alone you wrap both of his hands up in yours.

You glance up to him.

“Hi.” He smiles down at you.

“I’m very drunk.” You cough a little bit.

“Yes you are, but we are going to get you home.” He starts to push you towards a car that just pulled up.

He opens the door for you and gets you settled in the car. It wasn’t too long of a drive before you had arrived at your place. It wasn’t easy but you got yourselves up the stairs okay. You were mostly laughing and your ticklishness had become heightened to anytime Jungkook went to help keep you on your feet you would just begin laughing.

He had managed to wrestle your keys from you so he could get the door open for you.

He was completely amused by you but it was going to be good to get you to bed.

“Alright here we are.” You stumble past him and raise your arms up in the air to stretch properly.

“Welcome to my house!” You weakly smile at him. He laughs at you. You really hoped you hadn’t left any crap around but you couldn’t remember.

“Thank you, but I have been here before.” He places his hands on your shoulders to start walking to your room.

“No you haven’t” You try remembering when he ever could have been at your house before.

“You hosted new years last year when you moved in.”

It came flooding back.

“Oh yeah, you have been here before.” You open the door to your bedroom, and glory in the sight of your bed. You also thanked yourself that you had actually made it that morning.

You slowly trudged over to it and fell face first into it. Almost immediately you could feel sleep running over you. Jungkook noticed but you still had your shoes and coat all on.

“Hold on.” He sits you up, and you groan at him. “You need to get out of your clothes first. You’ll be way more comfortable.”

“I’m so tired though.” You pout, and he kneels down in front of you and he helps you take off your boots. He doesn’t say anything and he just helps you. Tossing your shoes to the side of the room.

You unzip your jacket and throw it down on the ground. When he gets your other boot off he was about to stand up with you stop him when you place one of your hands on his cheeks. He was really nice to look at. You move his hair back away from his face. At some point he had taken his hair out of the ponytail. You smiled at him and you pulled his face into yours, you place a soft kiss to his lips and he reciprocates it. He had his hands placed on your thighs. Every touch was warm and he was so gentle with you.

He pulls away from you.

“Get changed. I’ll get you some water.”

He gets to his feet and he leaves your room closing the door behind him.

//

You decided it would have done you better to take a shower. It actually wasn’t too late when you had gotten home, so getting all of the club stink off of you would help. It also helped to sober you up quite a bit. You mostly just rinsed off and didn’t wash your hair. You got yourself changed into some sweatpants and a sweater.

You opened your door to find Jungkook just standing in your kitchen. He was leaned against the counter. He had taken his jacket off, and he was messing around on his phone. In front of him were two glasses of water, one you assumed was his and another that had an aspirin bottle next to it.

“Oh my god you are still here.” You whisper shout at him, even though you had no reason too.

“Yeah, I promised Tae that I would make sure you were alright.” He stood up straight looking at you.

“You didn’t have to stay though.” You walk over to him and you take the glass from in front of him and take two aspirin.

“It’s okay. It doesn’t bother me.” He takes a step closer to you.

“Hey if anything earlier wasn’t okay-…” You start but he immediately picks up on what you’re going to say and cuts you off.

“Don’t even. I wanted it too.” He used a serious tone. “Besides, it’s kind of sexy that you were a little jealous.”

“I was not.” You smack him in the shoulder and take a sip of your water.

“Hey, it’s alright. I know I’m irresistible.” He smirks. You couldn’t stand this man.

“Glad to see you’re at least self aware.”

You sit in silence for a bit and he looks back to his phone. You catch yourself staring at him again, you had been observing all of his tattoos that ran up his arm, he had gotten more of the years, his arm was basically full now.

You had to tear your eyes away before it could wander too far. You thought about what he had said earlier, and what Cece said. He really could have anyone or have gotten any person at the club earlier if he really wanted too.

He really was breathtaking.

“What’s going on in there?” He poked your forehead and you brushed his hands away. You guess he had noticed you in thought.

“Just thinking of ways to kick you out,” You turn your back to him, “I think a kick in the ass is my best course of action.”

“Rude, don’t hurt my ass like that.”

“You’re lucky it’s cute, so I might spare you.”

You grab your glass of water and were about to walk back to your room. Before you turn around to look at him, he really didn’t need to stay. It wasn’t terribly late but you wanted to make sure he was also good to make it home.

“Seriously. I’m good now. You don’t have to stay.” You reassure him, “If you need, you can crash on my couch if you don’t feel like heading home.”

“I might actually do that.”

“Yes please.” You go into your room and you take a pillow from off of your bed. You walk back out and you place it on the couch. “Take the couch, or you can have my bed.”

“I’m not taking your bed Y/N. The couch is great.” He comes over to you and he takes your arm into his hand.

His hand slowly trailed down your arm to your hand. You watch his movements and he took your hand into his. It felt nice, his hands were soft and so large compared to yours. Your skin also tingled under his touch. You just let your hands swing together. He then leaned down and he pressed a kiss to your cheek, and your cheeks flushed red. He then placed another kiss to where your jaw met your neck, and then slowly down your neck. You sucked in a sharp breath. His other hand reached around your waist and pulled you into him. You let your self just fall into him. You wrapped you other arm around his back.

“Jungkook.” You breathe out. He had begun to suck on a spot you enjoyed. You felt like your knees were going to collapse under yourself.

“Yes darling?” He stopped himself and his breath fanned on your neck.

“I-…” You pause, oh you wanted him bad. “I need you.”

That was all he needed to lift you off of your feet, he grabs underneath your thighs and lifts you up. You laugh a little wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Thank god.” He whispers, before he walks you to your bed and you fall down together on it.

He immediately presses his lips to yours and you pull so he is laying completely on you. You had completely trapped him and he wanted every part of you. You break away from him for a minute and you pull his shirt above his head. He also helped you pull up yours off of your head and immediately reattached his lips to yours.

It felt exactly like it had before, he felt he was kissing you as if he would never get to again. You couldn’t get enough of each other. You could already tell he was hard through his pants. You also were already wet from him barely touching you, since your underwear was stuck to you.

Jungkook pulls away from you to kiss down your neck and then down the front of your body. He pulls your pants down your legs quickly, tossing them to the side. Before he came back up to be eye line with you. His eyes were dark as he looked down at you, taking you all in once again.

His hand teased you running along the edge of your underwear. It was agonizing, you couldn’t take it so you reach your hand to relieve yourself of some tension. He immediately stops your hand and pins it down next to you has he holds himself above you.

“That’s my job,” He brushes his lips against yours. You whine.

“Please, I need it.” You wanted to him to just fuck you already.

“Oh yeah?” He smirks at you, as he dips his hand down into you underwear to start rubbing you, “Where do you need me?”

You close your eyes and just enjoy his touch, you were already soaked. You moan as he teases two of his fingers at your entrance.

“Do you need me right here?” He leans into your ear and leaves a small bite to you skin.

“Yes.” You moan shamelessly, your hips were wiggling out of your control to feel him.

He presses two fingers into you and already begins to pump them in and out of you. He kisses you and you couldn’t help but moan into his mouth. You had your hands digging into his back. He used his thumb to rub you while his fingers worked there way into and out of you.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” You break your kiss and you are barely whispering.

“I’ve been thinking about you too.” He hums, “It’s been driving me crazy. It was so hard to resist you when I first saw you tonight.”

“Yeah?” You open your eyes to find he had already been staring at you.

“I wanted you. You looked so good.” His breathing was heavy, “I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”

“I couldn’t either.” You breath hitches in your throat when he adds another finger into you. He just enjoys the sight of you taking pleasure in his touch.

“When your ass was pressed against me, it took everything in me not to take your right there.” His lips brushed against yours again but before you could actually kiss him he pulled away, teasing you.

“I need my mouth for something else.” He kisses you quickly before you feel his fingers leave you, and you whimper.

Jungkook is just standing at the end of the bed and you look up to him and hes sucking off his fingers. It was something you had seen before but it just got you even more wound up.

“I forgot how good you taste.” He says before he lowers himself to his knees pulling your underwear off your legs, and presses his tongue against you.

You felt like you barely got a breath in as his mouth went to work on you. You still craved more from him. You wanted to be filled up with him already. The dreams you had been having about him were making you more frustrated throughout the week. You admitted had to relieve yourself after one of them but it wasn’t the same.

“Jungkook..” you moan.

He doesn’t break away from you and he just hums against your core. He starts to use his hands to help bring you closer. He wanted to eat you out through your orgasm. He looked up at you and seeing your head completely thrown back in pleasure made him just want to shove himself in you right now.

You reached your hands down and gripped onto the back of his head, tugging on his hair which made him groan into you. You were a complete mess and small moans kept leaving your mouth under his touch. His tongue was completely buried into you and one of his hands was rubbing your clit. The sound of him was completely explicit and wet. He was completely devouring you. His tongue kept flicking you right in the right spot and you could feel your orgasm rising quickly.

“I’m-I’m going to cum.” You moan, you were starting to become over stimulated but Jungkook didn’t let up for a second.

He didn’t break away from you as your orgasm completely rolled over you and Jungkook lived in it as he tasted you come all over his mouth. Continued to eat you out through your orgasm, completely cleaning you up before he pulled himself away. You were completely elated.

He stood back to his feet as you sat up on your elbows to look up to him. He placed both of his arms on either side of you before kissing you. You could taste yourself on his mouth and you let out a sigh as his tongue dipped into your mouth.

“How was that?” He pulled back from you and you were a little bit speechless.

“Really fucking good.” You weren’t done with him yet. You also stood to your feet. Your bodies were pressed against each other. You pull his face down to yours but not to kiss him, you leave kisses down his neck.

“God you’re so lovely,” His hand reaches down behind you and he holds onto your ass and pulls your hips into him, his bulge pressing into you.

“What can I do for you?” You ask almost shyly. He picks up on that, he spins you around and presses your ass into him.

“Let me burry myself in you.” He groans, he was ready to completely lose himself in you. He reaches his hand round in front of you to rub you a little bit more again.

You whimper from the overstimulation but it still felt so good.

“I want-“ Your breath catches in your throat, “I want to do something for you though.”

“Just being inside you will be enough. I want to make you feel good. Over..” he whispers and pushes you into him more. “And over again.”

You feel him step back from you and you hear him pull what was both his pants and his boxers off. He wraps both of his arms around you again you feel his dick fully pressed against your ass. Jungkook buries his face into your neck as his hands run all over you again. You turn around and pull him in to kiss you. You grab his length in between you two and you pump it a few times. He groans into your mouth, letting you know that he enjoys it.

You rub over his tip which already had some precum on it. You pump him a few more times before you stop. You wanted to suck him off but you needed him in your so badly.

“I want to sit on you.” His eyes open to meet yours. It felt embarrassing to say but he placed himself on the end of the bed. He didn’t say anything just stared at you with full lust in his eyes.

“Is this okay?” You didn’t want to do anything that wasn’t comfortable for him.

“More than okay.” He wraps your hand in his. He pulls you so you are standing between his legs which are spread open. “I’ve thought about you on top of me many times before.”

You raise an eyebrow at him.

“Oh yeah?” You smiled and placed both of your hands on the back of his neck.

“Getting to have you on top of me is a privilege.” His hands are on your hips and you can tell he is eager for you. You smiled and your press your lips to his and find your tongues way into his mouth. He smiles against you. Before you pull away and bite on his lower lips a little.

He responds with a low moan.

“You’re going to be the end of me.” His eyes lower looking at you.

“Do you have a condom?”

“Shit.” He thinks about it and he hadn’t brought one with him, “I don’t. If I am being honest I had no idea I would need it.”

“You’re fine. I’m on birth control so I’m not worried.” You climb on top of him. His dick pressed against his stomach when you place where your knees want them to be.

“Are you sure?” He wants to make sure you’re positive.

“Yes.” You grab him and you give him a few pumps and his head falls back in ecstasy. You lift your self up a little bit and you positioned him at your entrance. Jungkooks hands found their way to your ass and was gripping you tight.

His eyes were closed in anticipation. You run your other hand through his hair.

“Open your eyes for me.” You whisper.

He complies and as soon as he does you lower yourself down on his length. You mouth falling open in a moan as he stretches you out. You press your forehead against his as you completely take his length in your pussy. He lets out a groan and he squeezed your ass in his hands. Your legs were tense for a moment.

“God I missed this.” He whispers. He moves your hips a little bit for you which makes you gasp.

“Jungkook..” You moan as you lift yourself on him and then allow yourself to fall back down on his length fully and you both moan into each other. He was filling you all the way up to your cervix. You were completely stretched out.

His dick was so warm and twitched inside of you which made you want to scream. It felt so good. Having your skin touching each other. You began moving yourself up and down faster on him and small yelps left your mouth each time. He helped you a little bit moving your ass in just the right way down on top of him. Your head fell onto his shoulder as you were bouncing on top of him.

You couldn’t believe how good he felt inside of you and how easy it was so slide on and off of him. Jungkooks head was completely fall back and his mouth was open and he was breathing heavily at the feeling. He was coming to his climax fast so he slowed you down. Which drove you crazy, the slow feeling of him slipping in and out of you, he would have you completely come off of him and then come back down onto him.

“God, it’s so good.” You moan. Your knees were starting to give up on you but you were enjoying this feeling way too much to leave this position.

“Look at you take me so well.” He groans into your skin.

“Only for you.” You breathe and suddenly he rocks his hips up into you, making you let go of a little scream.

“Oh ho ho,” He chuckles into your ear, “You like that?”

He rocks back up into you again and you moaned, trying to bite down on your lip to hold yourself back.

“Come on, you can scream for me baby.” He grips onto your ass and lifts you off him a little before forcing you back down.

“Jungkook.” You moan, “Pull my hair.”

One of his hands slowly traces up your back slowly before you feel him grip your hair and pull your head back. This causes you to clench around him. You always like it a little rough.

Jungkook places a few kisses up your neck, you could tell he was smiling against your skin.

“You like it when I’m rough with you?” He has a smirk on his face looking at you. All you can manage is a nod but that’s not enough. “You were so eager to use your voice before, I need to hear it now baby.”

“Yes.” You stutter. Your hands were digging into his shoulders. You start to pick up the pace up on top of him once again. His head was twitching inside of you, he was getting close.

“God you feel so amazing.” His words came out a little sloppy, he tries to slow you down because he wants you to hit your climax again. He was hitting you right on your g spot. Every few thrusts he would thrust up into you. He was trying to do what he could to keep his high back.

“I can’t get enough Jungkook. I need more of this.” You stare into his eyes, and he knows what you mean. “I need you.”

“You have all of me.” He kisses you. He just drinks you in for a moment. You were obsessed with having him like this. Underneath you but he was still very much in control.

“You have me too.” You were getting sloppier on top of him, just as you feel your orgasm hit you. You completely come apart on top of him and he takes this opportunity to thrust up into you.

“Use me.” He moaned, “Use me for your high.” He was close himself. Feeling you clenching around him was bringing him to his edge. He wanted you to use every part of him. He was yours.

You keep bouncing yourself on top of him, your high had stopped and you weren’t completely fucked out but you didn’t want to steal him of a good orgasm. You picked up your pace, you feel his head twitch in you.

“Where do you want me too..?” He can barely get his words out.

“Just cum inside of me.” You moan into his ear.

Before he could say anything he completely blew himself up all inside of you. His seed completely filled you up and it felt amazing. You slowly continued riding him through it before he stopped you completely. Dripping down himself.

You look down to see the mess that was between you and smiled. You knew you were going to be sore from being in this position so long but it felt so good. You slowly pull yourself off of him and you both groan from the stimulation. Jungkook falls onto his back on your bed and you walk over to your bathroom to clean yourself up a bit.

After you did what you needed to do, you came back into your room and Jungkook had moved himself up on your bed and he had put his boxers back on. He beamed seeing you come back into the room.

“Come here you.” He got off the bed to come over to you, he immediately enveloped you in a kiss.

He had wrapped both of his arms around you and you wrapped your arms around his neck. You didn’t want to let him go for a second. You kept him as close to you as you could. He pulls away from you and kisses all over your face. They were small little delicate kisses and they made you laugh a little.

“Here let me put my clothes back on.” You push away from him but he doesn’t let go of your hand. “Jungkook!”

He just gives you a wide smile before he lets go of your hand. You quickly put the same sweat pants back on but you find yourself a tank top to put on instead. Once your are fully dressed. You turned around to see he has laid back down in your bed, he’s just smiling at you.

“What?” You look away from him.

“You’re gorgeous.” He was serious.

You slowly climb into your bed next to him and flop yourself down, but before you can do anything Jungkook pulls you into him and places a kiss to your shoulder. You wrap both of his hands into yours.

“Alright,” You start, “We should probably talk about this, this time.”

Jungkook laughs a little.

“Okay. What do you want then?”

“Well I don’t know.” You turn around and look at him. “Because like maybe we should go on like a date or something.”

“Well do you even want too?” He asks seriously, it wasn’t something you had asked yourself whether you just wanted to get your metaphorical dick wet or if you actually wanted something real.

“Well I’m quite sure I do. Do you want to even go on a date with me?” You chewed on your bottom lip.

“Nah you’re not weird enough for me.” He teased you and you shoved him.

“Stop! I’m being serious.”

“I would like nothing more than to actually take you on a date. A real date.” He moves some hair away from your eyes and leave his hand resting on your cheek. “Though I think we have already skipped a few steps in the relationship department.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to still be romanced like anyone else.” You smile to yourself.

“Oh yeah? Romanced?” He pokes you and you laugh.

“Yeah! What’s wrong with that?” You pout.

“Nothing at all,” He leans in and he kisses you, “If that is the trade for getting to be with you like this than I would do all the stupid cheesy shit.”

You couldn't help the smile playing on your lips, it was kind of cute of him to say.

“Shut up.” You cover your face. He pulls your hands away and kisses you again.

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NOT IN THAT WAY | JJK (Teaser)

summary in which you're hopelessly in love with your best friend, min yoongi. meanwhile your other best friend, jeon jungkook, is hopelessly in love with you.

: ̗̀➛ based on a request <3

f2l, non idol!jk x f!reader (ft. min yoongi)

[smut, angst, fluff] childhood best friends to lovers (bc apparently that's all i write now!), pining, unrequited love everywhereee, happy ending for mcs because cmon now... its me 😭 i'm a simppp sawry

teaser word count 500 (sfw, cursing)

full fic word count around 10k (nsfw)

release date aiming for 07-aug

𓍯𓂃𓏧

The sound of your phone vibrating in your back pocket interrupts your emotional turmoil. Clearing your throat awkwardly, you pull the device from your jeans and stand up from the couch. Quietly walking to the kitchenette, you answer the call with a shaky hand.

"Hey, bug. I've got Jia. She's sleeping in the back." Jungkook's voice soothes the crease in your brow before you even realize it. "I'm going to drop her at her mom's, and then I'll come back to grab you. Is Yoongi okay?"

"Yes—kkkhmm—yes, he's fine. Okay, I'll see you when you get here." Yep, of course your voice broke. He's not going to let that slide.

"Bug?" His tone softens suddenly, and you don't know why, but your eyes well up instantly. "Y/N, are you okay?"

"Mhm," you swallow the cry that threatens to slip through your lips, glancing back at Yoongi who now has his head in his hands, elbows pressed to his knees. "I'm okay, Gukkie. Get Jia there safe and I'll see you soon, okay?"

Jungkook goes quiet for a long second at your quivering voice. "No, bug. I'm gonna come get you first. Tell me why you're crying, please."

"I'll tell y—" your voice cracks again and you roll your teary eyes, wiping your free hand harshly over your eyes. "'ll tell you later, Gukkie. Can you just take Jia to her mom's, please?"

He goes quiet again, and if it weren't for the sound of his windshield wipers squeaking against the glass, you would have thought he hung up.

Jungkook's fingers tighten around the steering wheel as he fights the urge to turn the car around right now and drive back to get you. If Yoongi is the reason you're crying... Fuck, he can't even think about that.

"I'll be back to get you in thirty minutes, okay?" he manages to say, his pulse pounding.

"Thank you, Gukkie. Love you, please drive safe."

"I love you too, bug," he sighs before letting you disconnect the call.

Jungkook glances up at his rearview mirror to see a sleeping Jia sprawled out on his backseat, soft snores escaping her lips. He doesn't entirely dislike Jia, but he can't ignore how poorly she treats you, no matter how much you try to convince him otherwise.

What kind of person feels the need to one-up their friend in every aspect of life? What kind of person knows about the insecurities that their beautiful, amazing friend has, but discredits them and forces them outside their comfort zone anyway? What kind of person learns about the deep feelings their friend harbors for someone, and shortly after, goes for that person just to prove they can?

Whether Jia does it subconsciously or not, whether you notice or not, whether her intentions are ill or not, Jungkook sees everything.

At the end of the day, it's you that he cares about. You are his best friend. You are the love of his life. You are the one he will protect at all costs when it comes down to it.

You will not get hurt in the crossfire of Yoongi and Jia's fucked-up relationship. Jungkook will make sure of that.

˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗

tutor jk fic has been postponed 'til after this 11 month overdue request...im gonna cry. full ask from the amazing&gorgeous specimen who sent it in will be posted on release day!! sorry for such a short preview - i don't wanna spoil too much since the fics only 10k

—i'll try to do tags properly this time so leave a comment if you'd like to join the tag list? <3

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sex education

pairing: jungkook x virgin!reader

summary: “You want me to… what?” Jungkook chokes on his croissant, and how could he fucking not, with you looking at him with those pleading eyes, asking for something that he knows would get him into jail. Well, maybe not like actual jail. But definitely the Bro Code Jail. The jail where only bros who broke the Bro code went to.

wordcount: 12k+

genre: fluff - smut/college!au/brother’s best friend!au

rated: m (duh)

warnings: alcohol consumption, weed,  cursing, handjobs, fingering, oral sex(f/m recieving), spitting (the good stuff y’know), slight breath play, unprotected sex (f is on birth control tho) and thats it i think i don’t even remember what else there is to it, based on my own experiences with sex lmaoo also demasiada redundancia, but my brain is is dry af so sorry

read sex education 2.0 here!

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Bite Me

Vampire!AU | Fuckboy!Jungkook x Vampire!Reader (ft. Hoseok & VMin)

genre: smut, angst, some fluff

rating: explicit

description: You’re not very fond of your fuckboy blood donor, who’s an open masochist. 

word count: 11k

warnings: cussing, masochism, blood, masturbation, drinking, dry humping, slight sadism, Sub!Jungkook, Dom!Jungkook, oral sex (female receiving), biting, spanking, slight choking, rough sex, and unprotected sex (use protection always please)

a/n: I was lacking ideas and then this one hit me. I wanted to make the reader a vampire instead of Jungkook to keep things interesting. In this AU, vampires are much like humans. Besides the enhanced speed/strength and need for blood. I included one thing from “The Vampire Diaries” but other than that, it’s a generic vampire AU. I hope you guys like it! This is honestly my favorite piece of writing so far… comments are appreciated! Also, “Keep Reading” does not work on mobile, I’ve heard. So please don’t send me asks about it. 

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after i left you | jjk

“when you decided to meet up with taehyung for dinner to reconnect, you didn’t expect to see jungkook, your ex, on a date with his current girlfriend and not to mention, end up fake dating taehyung.”

genre: exes! AU, fake dating! AU, enemies to lovers-ish! AU, unrequited feelings-ish! AU, angst, fluff

pairing: jungkook x female reader 

word count: 38.985 

warnings: cursing, reader feels very guilty in this one, alcohol consumption (nothing major/bad though)

playlist: happier - ed sheeran, just asking - aquilo, my tears ricochet - taylor swift, one last time please - dodie

a/n: uh, super nervous to post this because ive never written so much before, but i had a ton of fun and i hope you guys enjoy it! if you guys have any problems reading, liking or reblogging it, please let me know! im not sure if tumblr can handle such a word count, so id appreciate it if you guys would tell me if something doesnt work and ill figure it out! anyway, hope you guys enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing this!

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