When The Jpm Fandom So Small That Almost Everyone Who Posts About Him Is My Moot And We Can Fit In One

when the jpm fandom so small that almost everyone who posts about him is my moot and we can fit in one house

𝜗ϱ ┆ RAISING KIDS WITH THE EVANS .ᐟ

── THE EVANs ‧ h e a d c a n o n s ೃ࿐

ft. kit ‧ kyle ‧ jimmy ‧ james ‧ kai ‧ austin ‧ peter ‧ colin

⟣ TAGS ‧ SFW | f! reader | fluff. not proofread

requested by the lovely @zoebensonsgf

a/n: stan bowes clickbait.. because kit’s haircut lowkey looks hideous sorry not sorry

⟢ 𝐊𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐄𝐑.

best dad ever

even though he sometimes fumbles in the kitchen, Kit always wants to help with preparing meals for the family. he’ll try his best to make breakfast on the weekends, even if it’s something simple like pancakes

he’ll make heart-shaped ones and let julia and thomas chose their own toppings

loves having you and the kids snuggled up with him on the couch while watching cartoons or just talking about your day

big on teaching your kids about kindness, empathy, and the importance of standing up for what’s right

includes the kids in his romantic gestures towards you. such as helping the kids make handmade gifts or cards, or include them in planning surprises

takes his kids trick-or-treating every year

sometimes when he works late, he’d come home exhausted and the first thing he does is kiss you and then go to the kids’ bedroom and kiss their foreheads

videotapes every milestone and make scrapbooks to document your children’s growth

involves his kids in home maintenance tasks, like fixing leaky faucets or assembling furniture. he sees these projects as teaching opportunities

⟢ 𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑.

after everything he went through, Kyle made the necessary decision to completely cut ties with his mother. he never speaks of her and focuses entirely on the family he’s building with you

the kind of dad who’ll spend hours on building a treehouse or swing set, and always lets the kids help out

even when they are throwing tantrums or refusing to eat their vegetables, Kyle never loses his temper. he has lots of patience and always talks to them calmly to figure out what’s wrong

a firm believer in teaching the kids right from wrong through understanding rather than fear. he’d sit them down and explain why certain actions are hurtful or dangerous

volunteers at school events, attends parent-teacher conferences with you, and is always eager to help with homework

would go to all of the kids’ soccer games, ballet recitals and school plays

great at braiding his daughters’ hair. he watches tutorials and practices until he gets it right

⟢ 𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆.

great at storytelling. likes to make up elaborate bedtime stories and acting out the characters with different voices, much to the kids’ delight

a very protective father, always making sure the kids are safe, but he’s also fair and doesn’t hover too much

teaches his kids how to throw punches (in self defense)

big on teaching his kids empathy. he wants them to be compassionate and to help others when they can

encourages his children to stand up for themselves and others. he teaches them not to be afraid to speak their minds or defend what they believe in, just as he has had to do many times in his own life

after struggling with alcoholism, Jimmy is stays sober for the sake of your family

⟢ 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇.

no cooing or baby talk. he talks to them like little adults, but he uses less advanced vocabulary

James would take great pride in teaching your children the fine art of murder. he sees it as a family tradition and a way to bond with them (aw…)

wouldn’t let richie, gacy or jeff come near his children without his supervision. for obvious reasons (if you are familiar with their crimes…ykwim)

fiercely protective of your children, seeing them as precious extensions of himself. anyone who dares to piss them off or harm them would quickly find themselves on the receiving end of his wrath

given his own childhood, James would never, ever hit his children. instead, he relies on stern lectures or manipulative tactics to discipline them, but never through violence

strict about manners and etiquette, teaching the children to behave like proper little gentlemen or ladies. he expects them to use proper table manners, and dress impeccably

would ensure that your children receives a refined education and impeccable manners. they’d be as cultured as they are dangerous

kind of picture him being a girl dad

daddy-daughter dates aka double homicide

he would spoil her rotten, showering her with designer clothes, bags, jewellery… anything she wants

he’d throw extravagant parties and celebrations, marking every milestone. whether it’s a birthday, a coming-of-age ceremony, or just because he feels like it, he’d go all out

⟢ 𝐊𝐀𝐈 𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍.

tiger parenting

insists on homeschooling

strict daily routine: early wake-up calls, physical exercise, and chores

bedtime stories: stories about cult leaders that are definitely not suitable for little kids

if you have daughters, Kai would want to raise them as tomboys

he prefers giving his girls unisex names like taylor, billie, or phoenix, or feminine names with masculine nicknames like charlie (short for charlotte)

doesn’t show much affection towards his kids. instead of comforting them, he tells them to “man up”

demands perfection in everything the kids do, whether it’s academics, physical performance, or adherence to his rules. failure isn’t an option in his eyes, and he’s quick to show disappointment if they don’t live up to his expectations

you’re fiercely protective of your kids, acting as a buffer between them and Kai’s strictness

adamant about never fighting in front of the kids. Kai came from a household where his father was abusive to his mother, and he doesn’t wish to let your kids experience anything similar

while he can be cold and distant in public, Kai shows his affection in the privacy of your home. he’ll wrap an arm around your waist or kiss the top of the kids’ heads. these small gestures mean the world to you

⟢ 𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒.

passionate about fostering creativity in his children. he encourages them to express themselves through art, music, writing, or whatever medium they feel drawn to

take the family on glamorous outings, such as attending theater productions, visiting art galleries, or enjoying fancy dinners. he believes that by exposing the kids to culture and the arts from a young age, it teaches them to appreciate the finer things in life

Austin loves to spoil his children with the finest things money can buy. from designer clothes to the latest gadgets, he ensures they have everything they could ever want

birthdays and holidays are extravagant affairs, with gifts that are over-the-top. he’s loaded, and believes that his children deserve the best

eventually introduces the black pill to the kids when they reach a certain age (dw your children are all very talented. no one ends up looking like lord voldemort)

⟢ 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍 𝐙𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐋.

reads all the parenting books and takes detailed notes. he’s always trying to be the best dad possible, often overthinking every little thing. you often have to reassure him that he’s doing a great job and doesn’t need to be perfect

loves waking up early on weekends to take care of the kids, giving you a chance to sleep in. you often wake up to the sound of him cooing to the baby or making breakfast downstairs with the older kids

has a lot of patience when it comes to the kids. whether they’re asking a million questions or having a rough day, he always stays calm and listens

doesn’t like to raise his voice, preferring to calmly explain why certain behaviors are wrong. he’s more likely to give the kids a long talk about consequences than to enforce any strict punishments

loves taking the family on trips, like visiting amusement parks or museums

protective dad instincts. worries about the kids constantly—whether they’re safe at school, if they’re making the right friends, or even if they’re eating enough

after the kids are asleep, Colin loves to cuddle up with you and talk about the day. he shares little tidbits he had with the kids, and you both laugh about the funny things they did

⟢ 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐗𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐅𝐅.

the “fun dad”. Peter is basically a big kid himself. whether it’s racing through the park at super speed or pulling pranks on each other, there’s never a dull moment

loves introducing them to classic rock and new wave hits

even though he can be a bit scattered, he makes a conscious effort to spend quality time with each child individually. whether it’s a quick trip to the arcade or just hanging out playing video games, he makes sure each of his kids knows they’re important to him

loves indulging his kids with snacks. he’d sneak in extra cookies when you’re not looking, much to the kids’ delight (and your annoyance)

building blanket forts with his kids, where tell stories and have sleepovers

he’ll occasionally have to leave at a moment’s notice to go on missions, but he always makes up for lost time with extra attention and fun

entertains the kids with stories from being a member of the x-men. often sometimes exaggerating for comedic effect

matching leather jackets and goggles with his kids (colour of their own choice)

 fear-is-truth 2024 — all rights reserved. do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.

Okay but imagine being Gen Z (90s through 2011 I think) im not sure) and dating James and he doesn't understand the lingo

-poor baby would be so frustrated

"Dearest?"

"What, James?"

"What is 'rizz?'

*Mrs Evers casually eavesdropping*

*you trying not to die laughing*

"James, where did you hear that?"

"From one of the new young people checking in. Is it a gift I have never heard of?"

James:

(I'm sorry, I'm how to write him. I just know we need more AHS fics)

I have the biggest crushes on characters who're really specific in how they choose their partners and then I make myself sad that I wouldn't fit into said requirements, butttttt something about being shaped into something better... Someone seeing potential in you to become something great (they will turn you into the worst version of yourself, but now you're free from the restraints of morality. You now have the power to take people's lives into your own hands.)

LADY GAGA AS THE COUNTESS (AHS, 2015)