Mercutio: Whats He Gonna Do, Stab Me???

mercutio: what’s he gonna do, stab me???

benvolio: YES MERCUTIO HE WILL STAB YOU THATS MY FUCKING POINT FOR FUCKS SAKE MERCUTIO WHAT THE FUCK ROMEO BACK ME UP ON THIS

romeo: *dreamy sigh* i wanna bone juliet

Romeo: Do you think I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Juliet: You’re a hazard to society

Mercutio: And a coward. Do twenty.

Romeo: *sneezes*

Mercutio:

Romeo: Aren't you going to say "bless you"?

Mercutio: I'm sitting next to you, you clearly are blessed.

Just a theory....

Okay okay so in Romeo and Juliet Mercutio is stabbed on stage and Benvolio takes him off stage, only to enter later saying Mercutio died, right? But what if, Benvolio simply took Mercutio off to some hiding place, patched him up enough so he wouldn’t die, then declared him dead because it was too much for him to take the thought of Mercutio getting hurt again and with all the tension going on it just wasn’t safe. So then he returns with medicine and stuff, nurses him back to health and after like you know all hell breaks loose, they run away together to live out their lives on some beautiful vineyard somewhere. Just think about it.

“If there really had been a Mercutio, and if there really were a Paradise, Mercutio might be hanging out with teenage Vietnam draftee casualties now, talking about what it felt like to die for other people’s vanity and foolishness.”

— Kurt Vonnegut, Hocus Pocus

I love the way whenever Benvolio refers to Mercutio, it's never just "Mercutio", but "good Mercutio" and "brave Mercutio".

Yep, we all know what's going on here Benvolio.