If You Could Have Any Item From Any Literature, What Would It Be?

If you could have any item from any literature, what would it be?

The alitheometer from His Dark Materials,

volunteerfelinedetectives

3 years ago

This is the best thing I have seen in my life, although I would prefer the killing weapon to be poison darts. Thanks op!

TOTALLY SERIOUS THEORY FOR HOW PFB WILL END

the search for the person who slipped poison into lemony’s breakfast leads him, after a long trip throughout the city, to the post office. after searching and searching, he runs into a beautiful woman. it is beatrice, the first one, the love of his life. hey, isn’t she supposed to be dead? but that doesn’t matter. she pulls him into an embrace and whispers in his ear,

“i’m not beatrice.”

huh?

“im eligton fent. i’m the one who poisoned you and slipped you that note.”

huh??

“i’m also the woman with the hair and no beard.”

now lemony knows beatrice or eligton or whatever is kidding, because there is no way eligton is... her. she’s way too young, for one.

“i know, it’s a surprise. a really large amount of people wanted me to be evil. no one seems to understand what it’s like to do difficult things to help the people you care about, it’s really sad. so then i really became evil out of spite.”

“that’s not spite, that’s just doing exactly what they want??”

“since when have you been right about things? bee tee dubs, the note was a lie. you’re not poisoned.”

“really?” says lemony, hope shining on his face. “i’m not going to die?”

“i wouldn’t say that, snicket,” she says with a smile that could mean anything. “everyone dies eventually.”

lemony walks out of the post office with a spring in his step, not noticing eligton pull out a gun. she shoots him halfway out of the door. he dies immediately. the end.

Tags :

poison for breakfast asoue atwq a series of unfortunate events lemony snicket all the wrong questions ellington feint fan theory

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volunteerfelinedetectives

3 years ago