That Summer Event Is Just Showing Me More Reasons Why I Kin Hat Guy

that summer event is just showing me more reasons why i kin hat guy

— PUSH AND PULL : honkai star rail.

premise. as someone who's always believed in the term “try and try again,” (peak delusion, you know) rooting yourself in their heart has always been your goal, no matter the cold rejections and curt declines you receive. however, even you have your limits; perhaps this little push and pull you two have going isn't worth your time after all... but what happens then, if the chaser becomes the chased? (oh, how the turns have tabled.)

...or, when you play hard to get with them.

— ft. sunday, aventurine, jing yuan.

warnings: angst n fluff, messy messy, these boys are in love but are wayyy too chicken to admit they actually adore you, genderless reader.

a/n. inspired by @/xiaowhore's playing hard to get headcanons! my holy trinity 😇 n MY FAVES RAHHH

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SUNDAY is perplexed. very much aware of his qualities which enlists him as one of the finer (finest) bachelors of Penacony (he was the Robin's one and only blood, and was also the head of one of the main guiding forces of the Family, after all), sunday isn't sure he's ever come across someone as.... tenacious as you.

foolish, to be more precise, for he cannot for the life of him comprehend exactly why you are the way you are with... him.

no matter his respectful declines of your invitations to promenade around Penacony (re: going on dates), you really didn't know how to leave him be. though he hasn't exactly said he hated it, sunday was, admittedly, rather... affronted. your gifts, in particular, were your loud declarations of your affection (that make his wings flutter more rapidly than he'd like); but sunday was rather inconvenienced at the whole thing.

nonetheless, he does still accept them. reluctantly, mind you. not because he was fond of your constant shower of affections, which seemed so permanent that he began to look forward to them got used to it. to your credit, your gifts were very much to his tastes. (Robin once gave him a rather soul-searching look when he found himself wearing the gloves you gifted, light blue and white in color. he still uses it, just not when his sister is in the vicinity.)

in fact, perhaps he may have gotten too comfortable. little by little, your constant intrusions on his time have thawed a way to his heart; making sunday look forward to your jovial greetings and grandeur elaborations on your day, and such a thing makes him feel scared sunday needed to nip this in the bud, and fast.

so he confronts you, abruptly one day as you give him his newest gift—a jewelry box for his earrings. (surely, the rapid thumping of his heart was due to his irritation at your constant persistence, right?) “i'm afraid this can no longer continue. i am flattered by your... fancy for me, but i do not wish to enter a relationship in the near future.”

the utter silence that follows is torture to him—but he endures. he tries not to look at the momentary flash of hurt on your face. you seemed to quickly recover, though. giving him a simple smile (it didn't reach your eyes. it shocks him how his chest ached at the realization) and shaking your head when he returns the gift to you.

“i understand, mr. sunday.” the formal usage of his name instead of your chipper ‘sunday!’ makes his face twitch. “but please, keep the gift. think of this as my last declaration. it... would do me a great comfort, just this last time, if you accepted it instead.”

(if he had grabbed your hand at that moment as you left for the door, would he regret it?)

when you leave, sunday thought it would put the conflicting feelings in his mind at ease—but it doesn't. a week and two days counting, true to your word, sunday receives no flagrant gifts, nor little messages on his phone that tell him to take care of himself, to eat, and to make sure to remember to check up on Robin.

instead, contrary to the feeling of ease, regret follows him instead.

it's at two weeks and five days counting when sunday could no longer stand the sight of papers that stacked atop his desk and the image of you leaving for the door replaying in his head far too many times for him to count, that he contacts Robin.

and she, once hearing about the situation, gives him a very, very enlightening talk. (of course, not without giving her brother a lecture of the lifetime. part of him felt shame to know that his sister knew of his... turbulent love life, but she was the only one who he could trust, anyway).

“absence makes the heart grow fonder,” she says. “but in your case, brother, your heart has already decided it's course, right?”

sunday eyes the smooth velvet of the jewelry box you gifted, ruminating. his earrings lie there, carefully pristine and beautiful, gold and silver intertwined. he has worn them without fail, clean and spotless. (of course it was. such a design so intricate was only chosen by you. the thought makes his ears warm).

the next days are agonizing. vigor renewed and epiphanies well-spent, sunday spends the rest of his time after finishing his duties researching and painstakingly finding the best jeweller he can find (even employing the suggestions of a certain gambler, much to his dislike), and spending a god awful amount of time revisiting and rechecking which spots you like, which places you enjoy, to the point it comes up in Penacony's headlines that sunday is interested in someone.

surely, it should've reached your ears by now, yes? sunday panics. your preferences are well-accounted for, and he's sure the Bloodhound family members that report to him have to tell you that the person he had in mind was you. even Robin, who was your closest friend, has probably told you already.

it's embarrassing to admit, but; to hell with it, the day he meets you after three weeks and sees you having a pleasant chat with aventurine, of all people, sunday thinks his heart had shattered into little pieces and stabbed themselves into his body. not so much as sparing him a glance, moreso.

so when, finally at his wits end, sunday chooses to corner you at the dewlight pavilion and spills out how he has royally screwed up in the worst way possible, no one is surprised. at this rate, you would be swept up in the charms of that wretched gambler, and what sunday lacked in, aventurine more than made up for.

“wait, don't go to that gambler just yet.” he's breathless, he's chaotic—and something in his heart squeezes when you finally look at him. “i... i wish to take up your time now, if that's possible.” (he wishes he would take up your time forever, really, but that was still too early).

you eye his getup. all of your gifts, lined on the man you spent so long chasing after—you see the gloves you gifted, the tie with not so much as a single crease, and the earrings that shine more brightly in the light of the pavilion. (it suits him. like you) it was as if sunday had completely surrendered himself to you, had all but decided to proclaim that he was yours, and this was nothing short of a plea for you to hear him.

“please.” he says. almost begs. “i can't bear not seeing you anymore. allow me to correct such a damning mistake.”

and if you were skeptical, the way sunday looks at you would dispel any doubt you could ever have. (his wings, they were fluttering.)

(months later, after a nerve-ending confession, many days of dinners, shared gifts involving matching jewelry and promenading to your wishes, it dawns on sunday he was absolutely dancing to your tune. did he regret it, though?

....no, most certainly not.)

if AVENTURINE were to be honest with himself, he saw you as a useful “friend” rather than a romantic interest. was it bad of him? of a sort. but risk cutting himself open and letting someone he might grow to care for know about all the ugliness that follows his life? no, he's fine as it is, thanks.

the first thing he notices is that you're kind—though he distrusted most of his colleagues and preferred none to get close to him, aventurine, in some morbid moment of curiosity, instead allowed himself to bask in your attention. instead of curtly disparaging you, he flirts back at your compliments (the way your face heated up in return was far too endearing that he can't help but want to kiss you he finds it amusing) and consistently texts you a “did you get home safe” or a “i bought you this because it reminded me of you”; at this point, it was like you two were dating.

was it leading you on? yes, but he supposes it was a win-win; he could send you those tiny bits of validation that was enough for you to stay respectfully at a distance while he probed at your intentions. unlike others who attempt to garner his favor, you're genuine, and you seriously take the time to know him. because you always text back with hearts, always reassure him, tell him to stay safe and wish him luck at every gamble, every high stakes bet he finds himself in. you even complimented his perfume once (and, if he had to be honest, he could not stop thinking about it all day—because that perfume he commissioned exclusively was based off of your own favorite scents and it was extremely embarrassing that he loved hugging you knowing that you loved the way he smelled and that it felt extremely domestic).

(sometimes, he doesn't reply. for months on end. suddenly the golden-haired man you love goes cold and you know then that aventurine ghosts you and then returns when he's in need of a friend—never a lover. it hurts you, but at the very least, you know he cares in his own way.)

and, if aventurine had to be honest, it was killing him from the inside bit by bit. as if to drive the knife deeper, you never danced around what exactly was going on with you two. you never ask why he ghosts you, then sends you a bundle of gifts all of a sudden and then rapidly spends time with you and repeating the cycle. no, you were consistently by his side, so warm and so caring—so unlike him—that aventurine wonders if it's really all right to open his heart to you.

if, by some chance, he actually wanted to be with you, would you treat him even more sweetly than before? aventurine thinks you would—you were beautiful in your entirety, and he was practically undeserving of you. he imagines himself kissing your hand and having you in his arms—and that feels like ice cold water being dumped onto his head, because you could do so much better and yet, why him?

so when aventurine hears about how a certain doctor was visiting you for some unknown reason, his already fragile sense of security in this little will-they, won't they crumbles.

and when he finds out that you were staying over with ratio? something twisted lodges itself in the little brushes of his heart, coiling and coiling—making him feel green. aventurine is aware you and the doctor are good friends, and ratio was the one who even told you to make a move on him! how could he just—suddenly interrupt?!

(was it dramatic? extremely. but knowing his friend and the person he secretly adores might end up together? you can't really blame him.)

he supposes this can be attributed to him. it was an egregious mistake, a blunder aventurine made—he never gave you a clear sight of whether he truly loved you or not and now you're slipping away from him.

so, he does something very unexpected.

at 3:00 AM in the wee early morning hours, aventurine practically barges into one Dr. veritas ratio's home, demanding what the hell was going on between you. and as if he had expected it, his doctor friend merely gives him a shrug in return.

“perhaps they were simply getting fed up by a certain IPC member—who is clearly head over heels in love with them—giving them mixed signals.” ratio's tone is stern, and aventurine definitely knows that the look he gives him is the one he gives only to fools.

you idiot, the doctor seems to say. yeah, yeah, he is; aventurine ignores the clear pinprick at his dignity.

yes, he supposes he is the fool here. “ah.”

“yes, ‘ah,’ indeed. now, let me propose a question.” the purple-haired man says. “will you react in such a way when i tell you that in order for my friend to stop their anguish, i managed to get them to fraternize with one of my colleagues?”

“...what?”

“they will be having a meet-up seven system hours from now.” ratio shrugs. eyes aventurine, who's looking at him like a gaping, stupid fish. “i can only hope that no one would dare to disrupt.”

...it doesn't take him long to be rid of the gambler by then.

(a few hours later, you stop by the Intelligentsia Guild to see one veritas ratio with a smug smile, eyeing the fur coat draped around your shoulders, and the flushed and happy expression written on your face.

“did it work?” he asks.

you laugh, “splendidly.”

indeed, that gambler was a fool, and there's nothing more than dr. ratio loved than to educate such fools to shape.

“that will teach him.”)

as a quote unquote ‘old man’ who knows that he's well up in his years for a relationship, JING YUAN finds you to be quite amusing.

it doesn't take a detailed analysis to know that you were smitten with him, really. you're a complete open book by his standards—if your heated face and slightly airy voice whenever you were even placed in the same vicinity with the Dozing General was anything to come by. while flattering, he also shares the similar mindset of being too old for any love his way—and he could be mara-struck at any given time, and jing yuan does not wish such a life filled with anguish and pain for the one who may steal his heart. but, worry not, brave suitor of the Arbiter General! unlike the other two above, this man has the experience of millenia, and is open-minded and aware that you truly wish to be perceived as a potential lover.

in fact, jing yuan's recent favorite habit is sneaking off the Seat of Divine Foresight purely to freak you out, watching you scramble up your words, seeing the heat crawl up your nape and bloom all across your face. adorable. you certainly knew how to appeal, that's for sure.

(“heh, it seems i've found a new place to stay in so that the Diviner Fu won't grill me alive when she sees me.”

and when he's rewarded with a bashful and speechless look in return, a smile and your, “i'm glad, general.” it surprisingly lightens up his mood by more than he expected.

that, in turn, gives him a frightening 30% energy boost; fu xuan was utterly shocked to see the languid man actually working and looking like he enjoyed it, for once.

“did something good happen today, jing yuan? why so enthusiastic?”

“i just felt like working more than usual, diviner Fu. i seem to have my energy levels at a high.”)

now, jing yuan is considerate and perceptive first and foremost, so there's a high chance that out of all the men here, he is the most open to giving you the chance to pursue him. he does inform you beforehand that he has no plans of accepting your confessions in the future, and that is where the ‘hard to get’ part comes in.

it's like playing a confusing romance visual novel with a fickle love interest—you never really know what you're doing, whether it's something jing yuan would like or not, and you don't know if he even thinks your attempts are moving his heart. (tldr: he friend zones you).

he maintains the same distance no matter his banters with you, no matter how many times you tell him that you'd help yanqing out with sword lessons. it's like he was just... treating you as he would a friend, and that you were basically stuck in the friend-zone forever.

(he keeps it to himself, but something warm stirs in his chest when he sees yanqing sleeping on your shoulder after training practice, with your arm protectively around the boy's side.

your sleeping face didn't make it easy to look away either; it's one of the few moments in which jing yuan shows just the slightest bit of reciprocating your pursuits; he brushes back the stray hairs covering your face, and drapes a blanket over the two of you.

of course, perhaps to tease yanqing, he also takes the calligraphy brush and makes a work out of his face, doodling all over it.

when you wake up, there's a lingering scent of ink and yellowed paper that fills your senses. when you turn to the boy beside you, you almost giggle out loud.)

it's a little disheartening—and while jing yuan did acknowledge that you were slowly, slowly burrowing yourself in his heart, he doesn't act on it fast enough, and instead lets the realization sit in his mind for a while.

it gets to the point where it feels as though he were preparing to distance himself, and even yanqing had asked if he was well. your visits with the Arbiter General also decrease, as he suddenly buried himself in his work even more than before.

he doesn't get to see you all that much afterwards, despite the lingering feeling of missing you filling his heart.

....that's until jing yuan hears word of a recent mara-struck incident involving the Sky-faring Commission; with your name listed among those heavily injured.

when he visits Bailu's clinic after yanqing urges him, jing yuan takes in the sight of you, littered in injuries from head to toe. your life, about to snap. he never even told you that you won; you did manage to steal his heart and for the first time in a long time, jing yuan allows himself to love.

so if, after three weeks later when you're finally healed up and ready to go, jing yuan brings you into his arms and drags you to let him sleep in your lap, you can't really blame him now, can you?

a/n: i love yearner hsr men,,, might do a pt 2 though. thinking of mayb ratio, jiaoqiu and f/heng next time...... sighs dreamily

@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.

ZACH AGUILAR MY GOAT YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO SOMETHING VERY FUNNY RIGHT NOW

– rainswept sins, you're forgiven.

pairing: sunday x gn!reader

premise: in the presence of the harsh downpour of rain, you and sunday let it was away your past sins and learn how to finally forgive.

– warnings: slight angst if you squint.

– author's note: me when i get motivated to write when tiktok shows me random poetry and they remind me of sunday <3. if any of the hunters sees this, yes the title is intentional LMAOO. art credits to @.helen_zzhao. | 2.4k words.

what a dull day today was your first thought. here you were, stranded on the planet of mendasia after a mission, clutching your bag filled with exotic flower. the downpour of the rain was unrelenting as you heaved out a sigh. you’ve already sent a message in your group chat for someone to come pick you up after not heeding kafka’s warnings. even under the rain, the wasteland that was once graced by idrila, looked beautiful. still carrying that paradise people sang about in ballads. 

the sight reminded you of that fateful day of your aeon’s final departure.

you were taken back to the days where everything was simple. how you longed to watch the stars pass you by in a blur while adventuring. the golden ticket hidden in your breast pocket suddenly felt heavier than it should have. it was always like this; remembering was painful but you couldn’t bring yourself to forget.

“you’ll catch a cold, mx. [name].” the rain over your head ceased as the figure of a certain halovian came into view. he still had a soft smile on his face when the raindrops soaked his hair and wings. he looked more like a wet cat than an angel sent from above. speaking of wings, when you look up, a surge of pride washed over your heart when you saw his wings in their full glory.

“they’re beautiful…” you reply in a whisper. hand coming to smooth out the feathers and gliding over the golden exoskeleton you created after your last mission in the capital of passion. you don’t miss the slight shudder that went through him when your hand touched his feathers. “have they been serving you well?”

sunday stands beside you, shielding you away from the rain. his gloved hand tugging at your sleeve, pulling you closer to his side. “they have, thank you for creating them.”

you hum in response. pushing away your drenched hair, you soak in his new clothes. he still wore a black shirt with the same gold engravings of the order that’s layered with a white coat and a black corset hugging his abdomen with matching white pants and his usual shoes. when you peer over his shoulder you take notice of the small cape in dark blue. sunday cleared his throat after noticing your staring.

“miss kafka had them tailored for me,” he said, voice laced with shyness. “do they look strange?”

“you look beautiful in white.”

shocked and unprepared for your straightforwardness, sunday couldn’t help the flush that creeped up his cheeks and ears. wings flapping slightly in secret delight as he looked forward. a curled gloved hand hiding half of his face when he muttered a soft thank you. 

maybe your nostalgia was fueling your bravery. you weren’t this blunt and forward with your compliments to sunday’s beauty, but today you let yourself heave out a sigh in contentment. sunday was always a sight to behold, premium eye candy if you will. you stopped eyeing the man when your conversation with elio replayed in your mind.

“you cannot favor him over the rest, [name].” destiny’s slave said as he sat down behind his desk. 

“i’m not favoring him.” you weakly argued, taking the seat across from him. you had always teased his appearance for looking like a sickly victorian child in a pandemic, but you figured now was not a good time to joke.

the man sighed and leaned back on his chair. “what’s really bothering you, [name]?”

you pause for a moment before replying.

“maybe recruiting sunday was the wrong choice.” you don’t point out how his eyes widened. rarely do you question elio’s intentions of recruiting other hunters, he’s done you a big favor in the past and questioning him would be rather ungrateful. but still, you can’t help but let the monster in your heart claw at your ribs. “he doesn’t belong here.”

“and where do you suppose he will go? the express?”

you opened and closed your mouth, no reply leaving your lips as destiny’s slave sighed.

“you cannot project your wishes to be redeemed onto him.” he stands up with his arms crossed behind back. voice unwavering and so sure it left you looking down on your curled hands. feeling like a child being scolded for speaking out of turn. “you’ve made your choice. let him make his own.”

“mx. [name]?”

you snapped out of your flashback when sunday took hold of your shoulder. grip tight with concern and eyes furrowed with confusion. shaking your head you clutch your bag tighter and sigh for the nth time. “i’m sorry what were you saying?”

he pressed his lips to a thin line, letting his hand retreat to his side. “i said we should wait for the rain to stop before meeting with the others.”

oh, that’s right. sunday must have seen your message and came to pick you up. staring up at the sky, you try to predict how long you’ll be stranded under the rain with only his wing and being shielding you from the cold.

“is your wing tired yet?” you ask and look at him. “it might take a while before the rain stops.”

with a small smile he shook his head no. a chuckle leaving his lips when his hand came to fidget with his gold earring. a small habit you notice he’d do whenever he’s deep in thought. “don’t worry, this is a good form of exercise for me.”

you only hummed. eyes staring at your feet and the nearby puddles of water caused by the rain. 

“this reminds me of the time when you first found me.” sunday spoke, his voice laced with tenderness. 

you smile and chuckle. “i’m surprised you remember.”

he let out a snort and shrugged his shoulders. “well, it was quite memorable. i feel a couple hundred feet from the air and suddenly a black cat and its owner come to save me.”

“i take it this is your way of repaying the favor?” you jest.

“i suppose it is.”

as you both wait for the rain to stop, you take your time to reflect on how far you’ve gotten in your journey. you’ve changed, but you’re still the same person that boarded the train you didn’t even know existed. the same carelessness that landed you a quick scolding session from a higher being. the love for invention and taking pride when others use it. you still liked the conductor’s coffee over tea but drank it whenever kafka offered you a cup. you were still you after everything.

and sunday was the same. he was still a bit awkward with the others, but he didn’t completely avoid everyone anymore. he started joining everyone when eating and he still has that sacrificial mindset of his that lands him a chop to the head. and he still knew how to read everyone like a book.

“do you regret joining destiny’s slave?”

“there’s really no escaping you, is there?”

you reach out your hand to feel the rain under your skin. shoulders tensing when the cold drops felt more like bullets penetrating your skin. you ponder over the question in your head. you wonder what expression you were making for sunday to scoot just a tiny bit closer to you. a distance that far surpasses what he deems professional.

“just a bit.”

“pardon?”

“i regret it. but just a small smidget of it.” you take a deep breath and pull your hand back. taking out the golden ticket from your breast pocket, you stare at it with eyes filled with longing. “i miss akivili; more than i should.”

“akivili,” sunday mutters under his breath. “your aeon?”

you chuckle. “more than that. they were my family.”

turning the small ticket over, you see your name engraved in it with their handwriting. “they were my aeon. i never realized how much i devoted to them until i lost it all.”

this was why elio warned you to keep your head straight whenever it came to sunday. just like him, you were too devoted to a god that’s already long gone. the thought of akivili being dead often sent you spiraling into a hysterical fit of sadness. elio feared you would go out of your way to look into sunday’s methods on how to revive a fallen aeon.

“i never realized.” sunday murmurs, his molten gold eyes stared at the ticket with furrowed brows. “do the other hunters know?”

“just elio and kafka.” you flip the gold bar like a coin in your hands to distract yourself. “they were there when i went haywire and nearly got myself killed.” 

you feel sunday’s gaze bore a hole into the side of your head. “why didn’t you go back?”

that’s a good question, why didn’t you go back? it was obvious from the conductor’s anonymously sent letters and not to mention the missing posters of you plastered on the planets you’ve traveled to. the poor thing wanted nothing more than for you to come back, but you chose to become a slave to destiny instead. all because of your guilt and shame.

“elio often told me, “you love akivili too much” and i suppose he’s right,” you chuckle as you tuck the ticket back in your breast pocket. “i love them to death. and they’d be the only one to bring me back to life. they were my everything. and i killed them.”

“what?”

you turn to sunday, a bitter smile on your lips. “are you surprised?”

“i–” sunday paused, trying to piece his words together. “i don’t believe it.”

you sigh. “well, to say that i killed them wouldn’t be accurate. but still, the fact that i got them killed still remains.”

“surely there must be more to that story.” 

a chuckle left your lips. “i wish that were the case. but if i were to lay down the entire story, it all comes down to one thing.”

“and that is?”

“recklessness.”

you smile at sunday’s efforts at comforting you, but you didn’t like the frazzled look in his eyes. both pairs of his wings tense in an uncomfortable way it has you wincing. if you hadn't grazed your hand over his feathers he would’ve let them be tense the entire way back and you didn’t want that. you didn’t want to compromise his progress.

“do you think your a bad person, mx. [name]?” he asked. eyes trained on the tip of his shoes.

your hands pause their ministrations. caught off guard by his questions, your eyes widened as you looked at sunday. you notice the uncertainty in his eyes, the tension that started to build up on his shoulders, as if he’s bracing for a blow. the question isn’t unfamiliar, you often ask yourself after that particular mission and those conversations with elio. 

before you can respond, sunday lifts his gaze and meets yours. the same pool of gentleness you saw on the roof on your last mission. “i don’t think you are. i’ve seen firsthand on how much you care –about me and the others–how hard you try to keep everyone safe and on the right track.”

“do i now?” you jest with a tilt of your head.

sunday continues, his voice steady and sure. “everyone has their moments of regret. actions they wish to undo. but,” he takes a closer step to you and takes hold of your hand. “those moments don’t define your entirety. you taught me that, didn’t you?”

you think back on when you first met sunday as he rubbed circles on your knuckles. how he didn’t even want to eat the food you offered him in a fit of paranoia. the way he’d pace around the base at night because his past haunted his dreams. and the time when you sat him down after a nasty fall when he tried to take flight, a conversation of vulnerability that had him grimacing and hissing like a stray cat. 

“i did say that didn’t i.” you chuckle and close your eyes. the feeling of his spread wing encircled you in a slight hug, you didn’t even realize that the rain had died down to a soft drizzle.

“you told me that the mistakes i’ve made in the past shouldn’t chain me; that i’m free to move on from them. redemption isn’t a one-time thing; it’s a journey.”

you feel a lump in your throat form, voice cracking slightly. “and what if those moments have piled up to one giant mess that can be deemed unforgivable?”

“but i forgive you.”

his words hung in the air like a lifeline for you to grab. you look at sunday, truly look at him –not just a quick peek or glance. even when his bangs stuck to his forehead in the rain, you felt such a pull to his eyes that reminded you of the morning sun; the dawn you always looked forward to after a tough night. his eyes reflected the faith you’ve tried to show him when he first joined.

“sunday…” you start, but he only shakes his head.

“i forgive you, [name] –everyone has. i know you’re trying, and that means more than the mistakes you’ve made in the past.”

slight tears prick at the corner of your eyes as you lean your head on his chest. “and who gave you the right to forgive me huh? i know you haven’t forgiven yourself for what you’ve done back in penacony.”

“then i’ll repent,” his arm pulled you closer to his chest, his hand supporting the back of your head. “even the devil would kiss your eyes and beg for forgiveness if it meant you’ll be kinder to yourself.”

you feel the warmth of his embrace; the steady beating of his heart that sounded like peace and home. for a brief moment, you rejoice in his comfort. “sunday,” you whisper, voice still shaky. “it isn’t that easy.”

he gently lifts your chin to meet his gaze. “it never is, but it’s necessary, isn’t it? you can’t keep chaining yourself to the past forever.”

you close your eyes, feeling scared to meet his resolve. “i don’t think i can forgive myself for what happened.”

“but akivili would,” he says softly. “they were not my aeon, and i doubt they ever will, but i wholly believe they would forgive you. they would see the good in you, just as i do.”

“you’re one strange bird, sunday.” you playfully say. opening your eyes to peer at him with a smile. “the express would have loved you, just as much as i have.”

“akivili would have forgiven you, too.”

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

You can pry the other Stellaron Hunters going out of their way to be kind to Blade out of my cold dead hands. Every time they mention Blade it's always in a kind way, he's a person to them no matter how much he isn't one to himself. Kafka calls him a cute nickname, Silver Wolf tries to get him to game with her, and Firefly brings him oak rolls because she knows he'll appreciate it. When we make a little cat cake that looks like him, Silver Wolf knows he likes it. They steal his phone all the time and he lets them. Yingxing is dead but he is still so loved even if by different people.

You up-keep a blade because you care about it

sunday as your "summer fling" drabble

imagine you two meet on the coast of a beach, there's little to no people and the only ones present are you and him with the sun setting in the background. you offer to show him around and when you, for the entire day, sunday makes you feel like you're living inside a fairytale. and you hate because he does this to everyone.

opening the doors, pulling back your chair, offering to swap shoes with you when your feet are tired, CARRYING YOU IN HIS ARMS when a crab scares the living daylights out of you; he's everything you could ever want and need in a partner. and you try to delude yourself into thinking that he'll stay. that he isn't a workaholic that would rather die than miss a deadline. how he needs to come back home to his dearest sister that urged him to take a vacation in the first place.

your hit with the sudden realization that for sunday, this was a one time thing. but to you, you envisioned a future with him.

he had nearly kissed you under the stars when you went swimming under the moon; stayed out late at night to watch the lighthouses guide lost sailors; he was so unabashed with the way he showed his affection and you rejoiced in it; how he told you that robin, arguably the most important person in his life, would love to meet you. for a moment you begin to wonder if all that praying for the man of your dreams finally paid off.

only to be left with a hollow chest where sunday would cradle your heart. he had left to go back to penacony and he took your heart with him.