A haphazard collection of my (ever-changing) current interests. || ult: jeon jungkook || wrecked by: han jisung & skz || over 18 || MDNI
93 posts
W-olfgang - W-olfgang - Tumblr Blog
↬"your mum hasn't paid me to date you this month"
pairing: ot8 x reader
genre: fluff, humor, established relationship
a/n: i found a word doc i made idk when with a list of these quick/easy to write prompts and i'm afraid i might become addicted to writing these scenarios no one asked for lol don't mind me. anywayyy, this is a very old prompt in the fics world but i hope you all still enjoy<3
Changbin: Truth or dare?
Chan: Truth.
Changbin: How many hours have you slept this week?
Chan: Dare.
Changbin: Go to sleep.
Chan: I don't like this game.
Some hearts understand each other even in silence.
Yasmine Mogahed
Finally found a post that encapsulates what I was thinking bc SEVEN MV IS ASDOAH JK PLS 😫😫
This thread perfectly sums it up: https://twitter.com/naija0329/status/1679986444348145664?s=46&t=-owXMFS8AH-Bu4UlaugXLg
And to highlight a few points:
It’s playful and endearing and who better to play the role than baby star candy lover boy jk 🥹 bc he will love you even when you’re a Hurricane and I— 🥺🥺
Thank you, stranger on the internet. 🫡
THE PUNCHLINE | Masterlist
«GENERAL M.LIST» · «ABOUT/FAQ» · «ASK» · «TREAT ME TO PUDDING?🍮»
❗ DISCLAIMER: Please read About & FAQs before you engage. All work incorporates afab!Reader insert unless otherwise stated.
LEGEND 🖤Pairing · 📜Word Count · 🪐AU/Genre/Trope · 🚨 Warnings
SYNOPSIS Jisung is a mind-reading ghostwriter for stand-up comedians. Chris is a borderline hedonist. They keep hanging out at the bar you and Minho work at along with their entire dysfunctional entourage. Events ensue. a.k.a The one where you explore different turn-ons with a tight-knit group of 'friends'.
📓Explicit, Complete 📜82.5k 🖤HAN x Reader · Bang Chan x Reader · Lee Know x Reader · Changbin x Reader · Hyunjin x Reader · Felix x Reader 🪐Bar AU: Comedy, Raunchy, Unrivaled Crack, Light Angst, INTENSE BLUESUNG FANATICISM 🚨General themes explored & warnings: Polyamory, kink exploration, hints of jealousy, explicit sexual content, strong language.
📖CONTENT · Chapter 1: Scotch on the Rocks · Chapter 2: Long Island Iced Tea (Jisung focus) · Chapter 3: Absinthe (Jisung / Chan / Group focus) · Chapter 4: Jägermeister (Felix focus) · Chapter 5: Aperol Spritz (Minho focus) · Chapter 6: Screwdriver (Jisung / Chan focus) · Chapter 7: Black Mamba (Changbin focus) · Chapter 8: Tie Me To The Bedpost (Felix / Hyunjin focus) · Chapter 9: Sex In The Driveway (Chan focus) · Chapter 10: Champagne (Chan focus) · Chapter 11: Angostura (Chan / Group focus) · Chapter 12: Alka-Seltzer (Jisung & Chan focus)
«GENERAL M.LIST» · «ABOUT/FAQ» · «ASK» · «TREAT ME TO PUDDING?🍮»
Don’t Let Me Love You | Chapter 17
pairing: Felix x fem reader; Chan x fem reader
genre: smau, fake dating, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au
pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)
warnings: swearing, Bai (but only briefly)
summary: With the upcoming wedding of her cousin and her ex, Y/n is in desperate need of a date for the wedding that will show the happy couple that she moved on.
word count: n/a
screenshot count: 12
taglist: closed!
©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.
previous | masterlist | next
—
Tag list:
Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you
@primoppang @junebug032 @jaydebow @streetrebelrootsdistinguish @sanriiolino @hyynee @muddy-waters @usercaiskz @skzofhearts @qweebsarse @amara-mars @stayconnecteed @blueforte @soonyoungblr @dandycharmer @hibuki-chan @jihanlovic @fylithia @chlodavids @its-hannjisung @hash2013 @felixglow @procrastinationprodigy @tfshouldidohere @weebsrequiem @swiftly-heart @mybabywearschanel @end0rchans @curly-fr13s @stvrfir3 @qveenbibi @pink-rose-chans-baby @sserafimez @yennifersgeralt @gemisea @farfromsugafanfic @veedoesntknaur @felixrealbabymama @mrsseals16 @rag-iii @captivq @idkwimdahyd
Don’t Let Me Love You | Chapter 16
pairing: Felix x fem reader; Chan x fem reader
genre: smau, fake dating, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au
pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)
warnings: swearing, Bai
summary: With the upcoming wedding of her cousin and her ex, Y/n is in desperate need of a date for the wedding that will show the happy couple that she moved on.
word count: n/a
screenshot count: 15
taglist: closed!
©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.
previous | masterlist | next
—
Tag list:
Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you
@primoppang @junebug032 @jaydebow @streetrebelrootsdistinguish @sanriiolino @hyynee @muddy-waters @usercaiskz @skzofhearts @qweebsarse @amara-mars @stayconnecteed @blueforte @soonyoungblr @dandycharmer @hibuki-chan @jihanlovic @fylithia @chlodavids @its-hannjisung @hash2013 @felixglow @procrastinationprodigy @tfshouldidohere @weebsrequiem @swiftly-heart @mybabywearschanel @end0rchans @curly-fr13s @stvrfir3 @qveenbibi @pink-rose-chans-baby @sserafimez @yennifersgeralt @gemisea @farfromsugafanfic @veedoesntknaur @felixrealbabymama @mrsseals16 @rag-iii @captivq @idkwimdahyd
i hate when they put jisung in sleeveless shirts because it reminds me that he is a man and not a hamster i carry around in my pocket
↬you go to another group's concert.
pairings: ot8 x reader
genre: fluff, humor
a/n: i know i said i wanted to write cliché angst but i got this idea omw to the dreamie's concert the other day and just had to write it. i hope you guys enjoy! as always i would love to read your thoughts on it<3
@channieandhisgoonsquad @2chopsticks2eyes @sweetracha
Lord have mercy.
We must stay focused, sisters. We MUST. Stay. Focused. No unholy thoughts here.
(Him after you push into the bed during a fight to "talk things out properly")
Don’t Let Me Love You | Masterlist
pairing: Felix x fem reader; Chan x fem reader
genre: smau, fake dating, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au
pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)
summary: With the upcoming wedding of her cousin and her ex, Y/n is in desperate need of a date for the wedding that will show the happy couple that she moved on.
status: ongoing
taglist: closed!
©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.
☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️
Parts:
Profiles: y/n's friend group | chan's friend group | insta accts | playlists
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Memes
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20 (fin)
SKSMDIZDLFHWPZ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK JUNGKOOK ?!??!?
HE'S DOING THIS ON PURPOSE NOW. THE WAY MY MIND WENT UNHOLY WHILE I WAS REPLAYING THIS. DO U HEAR ME PURRING? AND IT'S NOT EVEN MY CAT.
Imma need someone to do a smut on this ASAP or imma get the job done MYSELF.
🥰✌️😚😐
tell me — lee know
pairing: lee minho x fem!reader
tags: established relationship, dom/sub dynamic, smut!!!🔞
warnings: swearing, sub!minho, can also be seen as switch!minho, fingering, masturbation, kinda forced orgasm, use of “bunny” and "baby", slight overstimulation, unprotected sex. lmk if i forgot something
inspo: what i've been told is called "minho's selective babygirlism".
notes: my class was so boring i wrote this instead. i'm in a sub!minho brainrot recently, here's one of many thoughts that have haunted me lately.
{ wc: 2165 }
the door opens with a huff and shuts with a louder groan. you pause your show and make your way over to the entrance, finding a very annoyed looking minho by your doorstep.
he takes his time taking off his shoes, rolling his head from one side to the other before he finally places his keys in the little bowl by the door.
when he looks up and sees you he spares no words, simply brings his face into your neck and sighs heavily.
“long day?” you soothe, bringing your fingers into his hair and massaging his scalp lightly. he hums softly in response, more of his weight falling on your shoulders. you brace into him, holding him up as best you can.
“they’re like little children,” he mumbles.
“how do you mean?” you try and prompt, pushing away from him to have a conversation face to face. but minho whines as soon as you move away, moving closer to you as his hands trap you against him.
you give up easily, wrapping your hands around him.
“i had to nitpick every little thing and they kept asking so many questions. it’s like they wouldn’t know how to walk if i didn’t tell them left foot then right foot,” he sighs again.
“have you had any food?” he nods into your neck. “okay, go shower and then we can have a quiet night. sounds good?”
“come with me,” he whines.
“of course.”
minho laces your fingers together as he drags you into the bathroom. his bottom lip slowly falls down into a pout as he looks at you, unmoving.
this kind of minho doesn’t show up a lot—but you can tell from his pout and his slouched shoulders what he needs from you.
“okay, bunny, hands up,” you chuckle at him, and he complies. you peel his shirt off his body, unable to stop your eyes from drinking him in. you lean down and plant a small kiss on the swell of his chest. there’s a hint of a smile on his face, but when you step away from him his eyebrows frown along with his bottom lip.
he tugs on the waistband of his sweats and whines softly.
“yes?” you raise an eyebrow at him, a small smirk on your lips.
he taps you on your shoulder, his eyes so big in front of you. it’s hard to say no to him when he looks at you like that.
so you grab the waistband of his sweats and pull them down, unable to stop yourself from squeezing his bare thighs. at that he giggles.
“alright stop being a baby now and go wash up,” you peck his lips and he chases your lips for one more.
then he asks, “can you stay here and tell me about your day?”
so you close the toilet seat and sit on top of it, telling him all about your day as the soft stream of the shower accompanies your words.
once you’re settled into the bed—minho insisting he can’t possibly dress his own self—you find minho curled up into your side, sighing happily.
“you feel better now?”
he hums in affirmation. “i’m just so sick of telling people what to do.”
“it’s your job, min,” you try to comfort, “and it’s your job for a reason.”
“i know,” he sighs, “i’m just tired.”
“then you can rest now, my love,” you promise, sealing that promise with a kiss to the top of his head. his hair is still slightly damp, not dry enough to fall into the straight strands it’s usually in. it’s curly and long and your fingers tangle inside it.
“don’t cut your hair,” you say, “keep it like this a little longer.”
“you didn’t say please,” he smirks against your skin.
“that’s because it wasn’t a request,” you say simply.
minho looks up, eyes slightly gaped.
“it’s not really my choice when to cut it,” he excuses.
“like anyone can tell lee minho what to do,” you scoff.
“you just did?” he raises his eyebrows.
“i’m not anyone,” you shrug.
minho moves around until he’s practically on top of you, face buried in your neck as you massage his scalp some more.
after a few moments you feel his lips opening, and you think he’s going to say good night, but instead he sucks on the skin of your neck, nibbling slightly before planting a few soft kisses.
“can i help you?” you mumble.
he doesn’t reply, instead creeping his hands under your shirt. they’re cold to the touch which makes you squirm slightly, and minho mumbles out a “stay still.”
“i won’t stay still when you’re literally a freezer,” you groan.
“stop moving and just let me kiss my girlfriend,” he says, voice commanding.
you catch his wrists, moving his hands away from your body and anchoring them beside your head.
by all standards you are trapped underneath him. he could easily break free from your hold and get back to what he was doing—what he allegedly wanted to be doing. but as soon as his eyes connect with yours you see something swimming inside them. a hint of want, and a small plea.
you know minho well enough to understand the silence that takes over.
“don’t tell me what to do, minho,” you say, voice (luckily) steady. minho raises his eyebrows.
“i was just kissing you,”
“did i tell you to?”
he swallows visibly, hesitant before he shakes his head.
“exactly,” you click your tongue.
“is there,” he hesitates before speaking on, “is there something else i should do?”
you bring his hand to your lips, long enough to plant three small kisses before you say, “put your freezing hands somewhere warmer.”
minho’s ears turn pink. “where?”
you guide his hand all the way down your body and tuck it into your shorts.
minho reacts instantly, moving his fingers against your underwear slowly.
“put your fingers inside me, min,” you sigh.
your shorts and your underwear disappear quickly, and minho sinks one finger inside you.
“more,” you moan.
“i don’t want to—“
“—i didn’t ask what you want,” you say firmly. minho gasps softly. “i want more.”
minho nods quickly before adding another finger, the stretch feeling so good your eyes flutter shut.
you let the moans spill out your mouth as he pumps his fingers inside you, your hands tug on his hair as you pull him closer to you.
his eyes sink into yours, so full of want, and his lips connect with yours.
you tug on his hair hard enough to pull him away from the kiss.
“why?” he whines.
“i didn’t tell you to,” you say simply.
“y/n,” he pouts, “i wanna kiss you.”
“make me cum first,”
minho’s eyebrows dip in determination, his fingers dragging in and out of you quickly as he bumps his thumb against your clit. it only takes minho a few more moments before you’re moaning out his name, your walls squeezing around his fingers.
you swallow in as much air as you can before you pull minho into your lips, kissing sloppily around his tongue.
he moans softly into the kiss, grabbing your hips and rolling his own against you.
you can feel how hard he is, and you can tell he’s desperate when he starts rutting against you.
you flip the pair of you around and climb into his lap, minho groaning when your wetness touches him.
“ride me, bunny,” he mumbled against your lips, manoeuvring around to pull his sweats off.
you pull away from the kiss and stop him.
“minho,” you say firmly.
he looks at you, eyebrows high, a question mark drawing on his forehead.
“ride me,” he says again, strict.
“i’m not one of your dancers,”
minho’s breath shakes.
“but i—“
“stop wasting your pretty voice, yeah?” you kiss his cheek lightly, “you’re not gonna get what you want that way.”
“you’re mine,” he reminds you.
“you’re mine,” you counter.
he all but whimpers.
“i made you cum,” he tries.
“and you’re so good at doing as you’re told,” you smile softly, brushing the hair out of his eyes.
minho isn’t too sure how to react. so he nods.
“i’m so hard, baby,” he whines, letting his head fall back against the pillows. his grip on your hips is so tight you know he could overpower you in a second. but he doesn’t move.
“show me?” minho blinks. “show me your pretty dick, bunny.”
minho licks his lips and nods slowly, tugging his clothes off far enough to pull his dick out. he can’t stop himself from squeezing, his thumb rolling over the tip lightly.
“so you’re gonna do all the work?” you ask, head tilted slightly.
“i, i’m just so—“
“go on, pretty boy, touch yourself,” you kiss his cheek again. minho’s eyes avert away from you, ears so red as he starts doing exactly as you asked him too.
you know the praise gets to his head fast, and so you focus your eyes on his movements, kissing his cheek between his moans.
“you look so fucking good right now,” you say softly, “you’re so desperate, aren’t you?”
“kiss me,” he asks, softly, his head angled up and just impossible to resist. but you’re having too much fun.
“no,” you say, dodging his attempt to capture your lips in his.
“please,” he whines. but you ignore him. you’ve noticed his movements are much faster now, erratic, and so you know your plan is working.
“kiss me,” he whines again, “kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.”
“minho,” you soothe, bringing your hands to his thighs. you feel them contract at the touch, his eyes fluttering shut. “you’re close?”
“please,” he begs, “so close, just fucking kiss me.”
“you’re wasting your pretty voice again,” you tut. minho groans so loudly in response.
you place a hand on his shoulder, bracing slightly as you sink down onto him with no warning whatsoever. his eyes shoot open, his hand quickly letting go of his dick as you feel him slide all the way inside you.
he hugs you close to him, groaning and huffing into your neck.
“fuck, fuck, don’t move,” he says, so you do–slowly bouncing up and down. “no, fuck, no.”
he holds the back of your neck, moaning loudly as he cums inside you much earlier than he would’ve wanted. he bucks his hips up a few times before he settles, eyes fluttering shut as he basks in the euphoric feeling.
you kiss his lips softly, and after a few pecks minho starts kissing you back.
“baby,” he sighs, “please.”
you chuckle at him, “what is it?”
“tell me how to make you cum,” he whimpers, “tell me.”
“i want your cock, bunny,” you say delicately, daring. but minho just nods, and starts thrusting into you slowly. he whines from the oversensitivity, his eyes glazing over from the pleasure before rolling to the back of his head, but when you tell him to go faster he complies instantly.
“i’m not gonna last long like this,” he complains.
“you will,” you moan softly, “you’ve been fucking me so good, min. you’re not gonna stop.”
your words encourage him further, the pair of you moaning against each other as minho finally follows your every order.
he follows your orders so diligently that he even manages to hold off until you cum first, and then he’s spilling inside you again before he can warn you. but you don’t mind that much.
minho crawls into your side again, his quick breath tickling your neck as you both calm down. you turn around to face him, kissing his cheek again and again until his eyes flutter open.
he smiles softly at you, lazy.
“you make my brain go so quiet, you know?”
“is that your way of admitting you’re dumb?” you chuckle at him, and if he was in any other state of mind you would’ve got a death stare to rival medussa. but minho just giggles.
“i love you,” he mumbles.
“i love you,” you link your hands together, watching as he snuggles even closer to you, “you make my brain go quiet, too.”
minho smiles at that, his eyes fluttering shut.
“don’t fall asleep while we’re both covered in cum though, i don’t love you that much.”
minho groans before getting up quickly and going to fetch a towel from the bathroom, cleaning the pair of you up. he then grabs some water from the kitchen, opening the bottle for you and watching you drink.
after he drinks what’s left, he cuddles back into your warmth, making sure the blanket covers all of you before he snuggles into your chest.
you ask him to wake you up before he leaves. in the morning he has breakfast ready for the both of you and he reminds you not to forget your coat before he kisses you goodbye.
Like A Volcano (Han Jisung One Shot) - part three
Pairings: Idol!Han Jisung x f!reader x bestfriend!SKZ
** Includes two of my own original female characters that are romantically involved with two of the boys. Jo x Chan & Ash x Minho
Warnings: Swearing. Mentions of alcohol. Sexual innuendos. Mentions of sex. Mentions of cheating. Mention of self-hatred (if you squint). Mentions/depictions of domestic violence & abuse. Mentions of manipulation. Mention of sexual abuse. Mentions of anxiety (reader has a panic attack). IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED EASILY BY ANY OF THESE WARNINGS, PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT! Let me know if I missed any!
Word Count: 5.2k
Disclaimer: I have been stuck on this part for a month and a half now, and even after countless rewrites and revisions, I still became stuck after Y/N leaves the bar, so please, bear with me. The ending feels a tad bit rushed and I apologize for that! I just wanted to get the next part out ASAP so I could begin writing Part Four!
Hope You Enjoy!!
Part One Part Two Part Three
——————————————————————————————————
It’s been sixteen months since you left home.
Sixteen months since you left your world behind to embark on what was promised to be the adventure of a lifetime. An adventure filled with smiling faces, adoring fans, hot interviews, exclusive meetings and so, so much more.
It’s been sixty-nine weeks since you’ve had a proper night’s sleep.
Sixty-two since you’ve last felt relaxed.
Fifty-six since you even felt a real smile on your face.
Four-hundred and eighty-five days since you said goodbye to your family, and four-hundred and eighty-four since you said goodbye to Jisung.
Sixteen months since you left and you’ve regretted every fucking second of it.
While you were gone, everyone kept in touch with you, just like they promised they would.
Felix and Hyunjin facetimed with you every couple of nights before bed just to tell you about their days and talk about how much they missed you. Changbin messaged you every couple of days to check in, quiz you on your Korean and ask for girl advice as he did so. Seungmin, Jeongin and you scheduled regular game nights where you’d all load up on snacks and play video games online together into the wee hours of the morning, despite the major time difference between Korea and America.
As Ash and Minho began wedding planning, they made sure to include you in every part of it as if you were right there beside them. They sought out your opinion on every detail and decision they made in terms of color schemes, décor, dress styles, tie options, and everything else that came along with getting married.
Jo and Chan texted you every single day, nearly every hour, updating you on life back at the family house. They informed you of every single joke Seungmin made over breakfast, every single idea the group had come up with for new tracks, every time Minho found a stray cat on the street and begged Chan to let him bring it home in spite of Changbin’s allergies, as if he wasn’t a grown ass adult who could do whatever he pleased.
Even when their Maniac World Tour began, they always found time for you. They sent you endless tiktoks and clips of their performances, videos of the goofy shit they’d get up to while backstage, the links to new interviews and Skz-Talkers as soon as they were released. They even went as far as video chatting you mid-concert to help you feel included, passing the phone around to each member as they danced on stage and sang along with the rest of Stay.
All but Jisung. He was the only one you hadn’t heard from. He was the only one who wouldn’t take the phone during the concert video-chat, the only one who didn’t send you funny animal videos on the regular or send you pictures and ask for your opinion before posting them to Instagram. He was the only one who hadn’t updated you on his life since you left.
It was as if the two of you were complete strangers.
Everyone else called to check in and make sure you were having fun, and it was getting increasingly harder to pretend that you were.
When your and Jisung’s eyes met back at the airport through the line of people waiting to go through security, you froze. You hadn’t expected him to come, and upon seeing him standing there, looking less than stellar and frowning at you in distress, you had to force your feet to stay put.
It took every ounce of willpower you had not to run into his arms. You had to remind yourself of the things he had said to you the night before and how selfish he had been. You had to remind yourself of Seojun, the man who had been waiting for you at the Vancouver Airport, where he had flown the week previous to help prep the tour itinerary with his manager, Sookie.
Your and Jisung’s eyes locked for no more than thirty seconds before you forced yourself to spin on your heel and walk away from the temptation he held. He didn’t call you or text you at all to even explain why he had suddenly shown up and what he wanted. He simply let you walk away from him again, and that was the last time you had any form of contact with him.
As much as you wanted him to, you couldn’t even blame him for not trying one last time to stop you. You broke his heart and left him behind, the two things you once promised you’d never do. He had every right to hate your guts, though there was no way he could hate you more than you already hated yourself for it.
Still, you held out hope for a text, a call, a freaking email, anything to let you know he still wanted you in his life, but you knew it would never come. Your friendship was over, and based on the way the rest of the members would tense up and go quiet whenever Jisung’s name unintentionally left your mouth, you knew he would never forgive you.
Not this time.
“Y/N, are you even listening?”
You tore your gaze away from the photo on your phone that Felix had sent you of him, Jeongin and Jisung at their LA concert and looked towards the voice that called your name. It took you a second to register who spoke.
“Hmm?” you hummed in response, feeling dazed and confused and every bit tipsy that you should’ve been given the triple shot of vodka you had just downed a moment before. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
Seojun, whose hand was possessively wrapped around your waist, dug his nails into the skin above the waistband of your pants as he glared down at you, no doubt leaving half-moon indents in his wake.
A warning.
He leaned in close to you, speaking quietly enough for only you to hear.
“He’s never going to forgive you Y/N, and at this rate, I won’t either if you don’t put your fucking phone down and socialize.” he growled. He dug his nails in once more for good measure and you bit back a wince of pain as the pads of his fingers grazed over the barely healed scars from days previous.
“Sorry Seojun,” you muttered, pocketing your phone before he could grab it from you. He gave you a satisfied smile before turning his attention back to the redhead who called on you.
“You’ll have to excuse my girlfriend Kimmy, she’s still recovering from this morning.” he chided with a wink, pulling you flush against his waist all the while flashing Kimmy a flirty grin.
Prick.
Kimmy’s smile turned almost sadistic at his innuendo, her eyes darkening with lust as she reached across the table and rested her hand on his arm.
“Girlfriend, hey?” she looked away from Seojun long enough to give you a once over before her eyes met his again. “How much is she paying you?”
If it wasn’t for Seojun’s fingernails digging into your skin you would’ve reached across the table and strangled her. Seojun, however, simply just laughed at her comment.
“You’re funny Kimmy. It’s no wonder Juho likes you.” he elbowed his friend’s ribcage in approval. Kimmy’s eyes flickered to Juho for a brief second and you saw a look of disdain on her lips that disappeared so quickly you wouldn’t have believed it happened if you didn’t witness it yourself.
Kimmy had no interest in Juho, and everyone here knew it except for the poor bastard himself. The only person she was interested in currently had his hand tightly gripping your hip.
For all you cared, she could have him. Hell, she’d probably get him anyway when you were fast asleep and he was looking for someone else to assist with his never-ending sexual desire; a desire you never seemed to be able to fulfil.
You should’ve cared more for Kimmy’s obvious advances towards your boyfriend, and his towards her. You should’ve gotten jealous and gripped his arm in annoyance while bitching her out like Seojun so desperately wanted you to, but you didn’t.
You were used to this game by now, played it out more times than you cared to admit. Seojun’s favorite game was to make you jealous in every way he possibly could so you’d be forced to punish him later for it, but it was a game you were growing weary of.
It was fun at first, experimental and exciting, and it helped speed things along in your new and budding relationship, but when you discovered he was sneaking out after you’d fallen asleep to meet with other women behind closed doors regardless of the fun you two had, it grew tiring quickly.
It took you all of three months into the tour to discover Seojun had been cheating. But by then, it was too late to back out, too late to make a scene and leave him. Leaving him would’ve caused problems in the tour, problems you couldn’t afford to let happen, not when your entire support system was halfway across the world from you.
When you confronted him about the cheating, Seojun immediately grew defensive, and shortly after did the abuse and manipulation start.
He continued sneaking around and meeting with women. Some were his own fans, others worked at the venues Sookie had booked for tour events, but a lot of them were random women he’d meet in bars or on the street. The only difference now was that he didn’t bother hiding it.
He always came back to you, smelling of sweat and sex and varieties of expensive perfumes, and each time you told him you wanted to leave, wanted to break up and return home, and each time he threatened you into staying.
He’d threaten your career, your friendships, even your life. He’d grab you when you’d try to leave with your suitcase in hand, and he’d pull your arm so hard you were afraid it would pop out of its socket. He’d get in your face, yell at you, spit at you, backhand you for trying to leave him.
And then he’d cry.
He’d cry so hard he’d lose his breath and beg you to stay, to not leave him, telling you that you were the only good thing in his life. He’d tell you that maybe if you just paid a little more attention to him, he wouldn’t feel the need to seek validation from other women, wouldn’t feel the urge to hit you and hurt you the way he had. He’d beg so hard and scare you into thinking he was going to hurt himself if you left, so you’d stay, and then he’d do it all over again.
It was a vicious cycle, one you were beginning to get worn out from, but at the end of the day, you knew you couldn’t just leave. Seojun loved you, and this was what love was.
At least that’s what he had convinced you of at first. Now, you were just trying to get through the last few months of the tour so you could go home and be with your family and never have to see his face again.
When you came to the realization that this wasn’t love, that this relationship was toxic and unhealthy, you had taken your problems and concerns to Sookie, the only female on tour whom you trusted.
Despite the abuse you had suffered, she urged you to stay, explaining how the number of fans that were attending the coming events for you specifically had nearly tripled in size, and leaving abruptly would do nothing but disappoint them. You knew she was more concerned about the money it would bring in than your overall physical, mental and emotional health, but you didn’t have any energy left to call her out on it. You simply nodded your head and let it go, feeling helpless.
It was only two more months. You could surely survive two more months, right?
You jumped slightly when a shoe came into contact with your shin, hard and painful. You glanced back up from where your eyes had been fixated on the napkin you were toying with and you found Seojun glaring down at you again.
“Y/N, babe, Levi asked you a question. Can you show a little respect and answer him, please.” Seojun’s smile was sweet, but you could see the annoyance and anger sparkling in his eyes.
You were gonna pay for this later.
“I’m sorry, Levi.” you apologized as you leaned your elbows on the table and peeked around Seojun’s large figure to look at him. “This tour is wearing me out minute by minute. What was your question?”
The Dutch boy waved off your apology and flashed you a sincere smile.
“I was just curious as to what happened.” he answered as he motioned towards your arm. You glanced down at your wrist, inspecting the white cast that wrapped around your fingers and thumb and stretched up towards your elbow.
You swallowed roughly and barely avoided Seojun’s hard glare as he waited for you to answer.
“Oh, uhm. I fractured it the other night after Seojun and I left the venue.” you lied smoothly, waving your hand in the air casually.
Levi’s eyebrows raised in surprise at your words.
“How the hell did you manage to do that?” he questioned. His English was choppy, but his accent was clean and smooth and filled with concern. You let out an awkward laugh and tried to come up with something that wouldn’t throw suspicion onto the culprit behind your injury.
“Well, you know Amsterdam.” Seojun jumped in for you, sending you a playful wink as he squeezed you closer to his body. “The walkways around the canal are extremely uneven and Y/N here is extremely clumsy.”
“He’s right” Juho laughed and clapped Seojun on the back. “This is the same girl who managed to sprain her ankle so badly coming down the hotel stairs back in Texas that she had to wear a boot for three weeks while simultaneously nursing two broken fingers and a cracked rib back to health.”
Levi, Kimmy and Seojun began to laugh at Juho’s story and you had to force a smile on your face to keep yourself from suddenly crying. The story Seojun had fed Juho the first night he got physical sounded so unbelievable coming from Juho’s mouth that it nearly drove you crazy.
Surely, they didn’t buy it, right?
Surely, at least one of them would see through the irony and figure out what had actually happened. Nobody trips over nothing and falls down a flight of stairs all by herself, right?
Part of you hoped one of the people who sat around the table with you and Seojun would put the pieces together and call Seojun out, but another part hoped to God nobody would. You could not handle the confrontation right now, not without pissing off Seojun even more than you already had.
You let the conversation take a turn as Kimmy, Levi, Juho, Seojun and a few others began discussing their childhood injuries and the embarrassing stories behind them.
It was supposed to be a celebratory night out for another successful event with just you, your boyfriend and his best friend, but Juho was adamant on meeting with Kimmy, a girl he’d been talking to online for months, and wherever Kimmy went, her brother Levi followed.
You were ecstatic to meet Kimmy and her brother at first and let them join in on the celebration, but once she started flirting with Seojun, and once Levi’s other friends conveniently showed up and invited themselves to sit down, you felt a ball of anxiety pool in the bottom of your stomach.
Nothing good ever came out of Seojun drinking alongside a pretty woman and a bunch of males. A fight was bound to break out between someone at some point, and you didn’t want to stick around any longer to find out who it would be between.
You were tired, your wrist hurt, and your social battery was running on empty. You just wanted to go home.
With a sigh, you leaned back against the cushion of the leather booth you were all sitting in and finished off the glass of tequila you were holding. Seojun turned his head to look at you briefly and you sent him a small reassuring smile before turning your head downwards, and that’s when you saw it.
Underneath the table, out of sight from everyone else, Kimmy’s foot was running slowly and seductively up Seojun’s leg and into his crotch and then back down again, over and over while she giggled at whatever he was saying.
You quickly averted your gaze, feeling embarrassed that you’d witnessed something so intimate, your brain not grasping onto the fact that this intimacy was shared between your boyfriend and another girl.
Then, a second later, Seojun’s phone vibrated on the table between the two of you, bringing your attention to it involuntarily.
You didn’t mean to look. You didn’t mean to see whoever it was that had texted him. You just so happened to be looking in the direction of where he’d end up holding his phone, swiping his thumb across the screen to read the message that was sent to him.
You felt your stomach drop when you read Sookie’s name at the top of the messaging app followed by a red heart and a pair of lips. When your eyes dropped down and found a picture of her naked chest staring back at you, back at Seojun, you thought you were going to throw up.
Seojun bit his lip and let out breath, a small smile forming on his lips as he openly stared at the picture. He didn’t even bother trying to hide it from you. Instead, he took his time typing back a reply and then locked his phone once more before setting it back on the table, face down.
When he turned his head to glance at you to see if you had been watching, you were quick to avert your eyes to one of the TVs that hung from the ceiling, watching the soccer game that was on. You bit your lip in an attempt to look focused on the game, but really you were just trying not to openly cry.
Here Seojun sat, one girl practically jerking him off with her foot, another openly sexting him and sending him nudes, all while his arm was secured tightly around his girlfriend’s hip. Kimmy you suspected, but you didn’t think Sookie would be indulging him too.
All at once, everything began to make sense, and it was suddenly too much.
You were hit with a ball of emotions.
Anger. Disbelief. Sadness. Shock.
However, panic overpowered everything else.
You didn’t notice the change in your breathing until Seojun’s nails once again dug into your skin, this time drawing blood.
“Will you cut it out? You’re making a scene.” he snapped, not bothering to lower his voice anymore. You could barely hear him or anything else over the sound of your own heartbeat suddenly filling your ears.
You tried to take a deep breath, tried to hold it in in order to stop the anxiety from seeping deep into your bones, but you only hiccupped as a single tear fell from your eye.
You felt everyone’s gaze on you and you bent your head and wiped at another tear that had managed to escape in order to try and hide what you were feeling. A round of applause then broke out across the bar as the TV’s all showed the game winning goal that was scored, and that was your breaking point.
Without so much of a word, you pulled Seojun’s fingers off of you and slipped from the table. Juho was the only one to call after you as the room grew fuzzy, your fingers beginning to tingle as your breathing came in short gasps. The bartender gave you a concerned look and reached out to grab your arm, but you managed to slink away from her touch and pushed yourself outside into the cool evening air.
As soon as your feet took you past the fence that surrounded the bar, you fell to your knees, your hands gripping the cobblestone so hard your wrist throbbed and your knuckles turned white. You could feel your heart almost beating out of your chest as the memories of your relationship with Seojun flew through your mind.
Every time he hit you, yelled at you, touched you.
Every time he scolded you for bothering him, the names he would call you over the smallest inconveniences, the way he’d manipulate you into staying with him even after all the shit he did.
It was all too much.
You could barely get enough oxygen in your lungs to take a deep breath and your hands were losing feeling. You hardly heard the door behind you open and close over the sound of your cries that you didn’t realize were leaving your body, the cries that were loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood at this ungodly hour.
Blinded by the waves of tears that rocked you, your hands reached out and grasped for something, anything to help you sturdy yourself, ground yourself.
No, not something, but someone.
The sound of Felix’s voice lulling your heartbeat back to a normal pace when you’d seek his comfort after a nightmare, the way Chan would subtly pinch your elbow when the panic came in waves while you were all out in public, the way Jo and Ash would squeeze your hand to help bring you back when you found yourself floating away unconsciously. The feeling of Jisung’s arms enclosing you in a comforting hug, warm and strong and supportive and loving.
Still blindly searching for the anchors you’ve grown so used to but left behind, you felt completely and utterly alone.
So alone that you practically fainted when warm, sturdy fingers enclosed around your wrist. Your body froze despite the panic that was still coursing through your veins.
There was absolutely no fucking way.
Your head snapped up and whipped around so fast you thought you’d break your neck. The shock you felt when you saw who had come to your rescue almost knocked the anxiety out of your system.
“Juho?” you barely managed. “Wha-wha-what are you do-do-doing here?” you hiccupped in surprise as Seojun’s best friend brought his face down to your level.
Juho just shushed you and pulled you into a hug that was gentle and soothing and good. His thumbs rubbed circles into your back as he rocked you back and forth slowly, not caring if anyone walked by and saw you two sitting on the ground like this. Feeling his heartbeat against your chest and the smell of the cinnamon soap he bought not too long ago, your heart began to settle, slowly but surely.
“Are you okay Y/N?” Juho asked, not bothering to pull away from you once your breathing evened out.
You squeezed your eyes shut, causing tears to fall down your cheeks and onto the fabric of his shirt. Then, you clenched your jaw so hard you were surprised your teeth didn’t break.
“Why did you come after me Juho?” You asked quietly. Your body wanted to pull away from him but your heart longed for the warmth and strength and security he gave off. The kind of warmth and strength and security you’d been deprived of for so long. He reminded you of Changbin. Even though his muscles weren’t nearly as big or defined, you still felt safe in his embrace.
That thought made you tense up.
You never felt safe with anyone who wasn’t your immediate friend group.
Now, you were slightly on edge.
“You were having a panic attack,” he stated.
“And?”
“And I don’t like seeing people suffer,”
The both of you were quiet for a moment before he spoke up again, his body tensing around you as if he was preparing himself to get hit for what he said next.
“You’ve been suffering for a while now, haven’t you?”
Your eyebrows raised at his question and you finally pulled away from his body, staring at him in shock.
“I’m sorry?” you asked, unsure whether you heard him right. Juho sighed and lifted his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, but you flinched away from him quickly, causing his hand to fall back to his side. His eyes look strained and sad.
“I’m not an idiot Y/N. I know what’s been happening.” You could tell he was trying to be reassuring and gentle with you, but he spoke to you as if you were nothing more than a small child who needed his help, and this caused you to become defensive out of habit.
“You don’t know anything Juho.” you ground out between clenched teeth as you tried to pull out of his grasp completely and stand up. However, his hold on you was firm and you didn’t get very far.
“I know Seojun, and I know the type of guy he is. I know he plays women left and right and then tosses them aside like trash.” he explained.
An exasperated breath left your mouth.
“And you’re okay with that?” you asked.
Juho let out a humorless laugh and shook his head.
“I’m not. At all. But he’s been my best friend since we were seven years old. It’s hard to give up on that kind of friendship, yenno?”
You scoffed at his words.
“I actually don’t know. None of my friends are abusive assholes like he is.”
At this, Juho’s hold on you softened enough for you to pull away completely, his eyes turning downwards at the sides as a frown spread across his lips.
“So he has been abusing you.”
You were silent as you pulled yourself to your feet and dusted off the pants you were wearing, trying to straighten yourself out and look semi-presentable to anyone who would pass by. Juho followed suit and stood next to you, his hands coming out to grasp your elbows.
“You didn’t actually think I fell down a flight of stairs, did you?” you snapped, moving away from him again and grabbing your bag off of the ground.
“Well, I was hoping my suspicions were wrong.” Juho answered as he scratched the back of his neck.
“Well, I’m sorry they weren’t.”
“Why are you apologizing for him?” Juho then asked, his voice hard. You could feel the glare he was shooting into the side of your head, and that alone caused your already fragile state to break once more.
“I don’t know Juho!” you sniffled as water once again pooled in your exhausted eyes. “Maybe because he’s an asshole. Maybe because you’ve had to put up with him for nearly twenty years! Because he’s a piece of shit friend for going after the girl you like!”
“You don’t have to apologize for that either Y/N. It’s not your fault.” Juho waved off your apologies with a hard edge to his tone.” Kimmy has been nothing more than a test.”
“A test?” you asked in disbelief.
“Yeah, to see if my best friend was a big enough piece of shit to go after his best friend’s girl. And he is. Case closed.” Juho brushed off his words as if they were nothing, but you could see the sadness in his eyes. He really liked Kimmy, and if it hadn’t been for Seojun, they may have actually hit it off.
“You don’t have to be a hero Juho.” your voice came out soft. “I know you liked her. A lot.”
Juho shrugged his shoulders once more and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “It is what it is. Just glad I dodged a bullet with that one.”
“So what are you gonna do now?” you questioned.
“What are YOU gonna do?” he shot back.
“Honestly? I just want to go home.”
“Then go.”
“I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?”
“Because there’s only two months left in the tour, and Sookie advised me to stay. Apparently the number of fans who are coming to the rest of the events for me specifically has nearly tripled in size.” you explained. Juho snorted despite the uneasiness that still sifted through the air around the two of you.
“Sounds like she’s just after the money.”
It was your turn to snort before you spoke without thinking. “Yeah, that and Seojun’s dick.”
You clamped your mouth shut immediately. “I’m sorry.”
Juho winced at your poor joke.
“I’m sorry.” he said.
“You have nothing to apologize for.” You mimicked his words from earlier.
“And you have no obligation to stay.” He gave you a pointed look, causing you to sigh.
“I can’t just leave, Juho.”
“Of course you can.”
“How?”
“By packing your bag and getting on the next flight home.”
You shook your head as a small laugh escaped your throat. Despite the physical similarities between Juho and Changbin, he was definitely giving off menace vibes; he and Seungmin would get along great with their similar sarcastic remarks.
“No, I mean how am I supposed to leave? I can’t leave the tour when so many people are relying on me to be there.”
You couldn’t understand why your brain wasn’t taking the easy way out and agreeing with Juho to just leave, but it was irritating the crap out of you the way your mind was always finding excuses to stay.
“Your health is more important than some stupid tour Y/N. Besides, once Boss Man finds out about Seojun and Sookie’s relationship, the entire tour will go down in flames.”
This caught your attention, your ears perking up like you imagine a dog would as your eyes shot to where Juho was now leaning against the fence of the bar.
“Wait, Sookie isn’t the one in charge?” you asked.
Juho chuckled and shook his head.
“God no. She doesn’t need that kind of power, are you kidding me? She works for the company that published Seojun and I. Once the boss finds out about their secret relationship, it’s over for the both of them.” he paused briefly when your eyebrows raised in shock at the news. “Yeah, it’s honestly probably best for you to leave sooner rather than later so you don’t get caught up in it. The last thing you need on your hands is a scandal.”
“Shouldn’t I stay and attest to it if they need me to?”
You wanted to smack yourself for yet again, trying to find a reason to stay but thankfully, Juho’s clenched jaw and scowl hit just the same.
“I will take care of it. You go home.”
You were quiet for a moment as Juho’s words set in. All this time you were waiting, begging for someone to come along and find you, someone to see through the act Seojun had conjured up and help you escape him and his antics. You never in a million years thought his best friend would be the one to do it.
Juho stepped forward and grabbed your hands in his when he saw the indecisiveness cross your features.
“Stop worrying about what would make everyone else happy and go. At the end of the day, your happiness is what should matter most. And you and I both know you aren’t going to feel truly happy again until you go home.” he urged on, practically pleading.
You nodded your head slowly, almost habitually.
He was right. It was time to go home.
————————————————————————————————–
UGH I’m still so unhappy with how this part ended, but it was driving me to tears of frustration for not being able to get it perfect😭 I’m sorry!
Thank you for bearing through that!
Alas, Part Four is in the works, so please check back soon for its posting!!
Thank you so much for all of your feedback and support! I greatly appreciate it!
-Hannji <3
he’s that bitch!
for @strayklds ♡
(inspo.)
Gossiping with skz
fic type: head cannon (comedy/crack)
word count: 1.4k
⚝A/N: I had so much fun writing this lmao, enjoy my unhinged assumptions ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ Thanks to @yonglixx for helping me find the gif.
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The Ability to Fathom (Chapter I)
✧ Pairing: jungkook // reader ✧ Rating: 18+ ✧ Genre: brother's best friend, idiots to lovers, mutual pining, college au ✧ Word Count: 9,5k ✧ Status: to be continued ✧ Warnings: intense pining, dirty thoughts (??), explicit language, masturbation ✧ Summary: You are shocked when your friends reveal their theory: Jungkook, your brother's annoying best friend, has a crush on you. A bad one. However, the more you become aware of the way he acts around you, the more you begin to wonder. ✧ Author's Note: this is just a silly little thing to help me get over myself and get better at writing. i hope u enjoy because these two have been with me for like a year lol
___
It's an overcast Monday afternoon when your friends decide to drop the bomb. A Monday is a weird day to drop a bomb to begin with, but it is an even weirder day to drop The Bomb.
"Jungkook is so fucking hot", Taehyung sighs from beside you. You also sigh, but definitely not out of awe like your friend is.
"And disgusting", you add as you observe Jungkook running after a soccer ball, drenched in your university's signature colors from head to toe.
Ball games have always seemed ridiculous to you. He looks like a possessed primate or something of the sort.
Taehyung smirks. "Maybe, but in the best way so. Like he would eat out your ass and hungrily make out with you after."
Your mouth falls open. "Ew, Tae! I had no idea you thought of him like that!"
How anyone could think like that of Jungkook, your brother's annoying best friend and bane of your existence, was a mystery to you. But the better half of campus appeared to be magically drawn to the boy. And apparently your friend had fallen victim too.
Taehyung angles his head towards you. "Oh, I don't think of him like that. I'm only sharing what I imagine is going on in your head. You know, since you keep ogling him like a love-sick puppy."
Ji-eun, your other best friend, shakes her head in agreement. "That is exactly what I imagine her thoughts to be like. Every time she looks at him, I hear something like Please, shove those long, tattooed fingers up my-"
"What?", your voice sounds shrill. However, a little hysteria is only appropriate. "We're talking about the same Jungkook, are we? Jeon Jungkook? Because if we are, I think I'm going to be sick right now!"
The thought of Jungkook and you doing sexual activities was indeed very upsetting to your stomach. Also, you had just downed an entire liter of overpriced soda in the span of 10 minutes. Bad timing.
"Is there any other Jungkook that you are undeniably in love with, and that is undeniably in love with you too?", Taehyung counters.
You look over at Ji-eun for help because surely, she can't also have lost her mind. But all hope dies within the next few seconds.
"Come on, __, how much longer are we going to keep pretending?", she asks.
"Keep pretending what? ", you choke out.
"Well, the list is long", she starts. "First off, there is the fact that you two are at least three months overdue to fuck each other. Instead, you've been pulling at each other's hair like seven-year-olds who don't know any other way to express their romantic interest."
"Fu..." You can't even pronounce the word properly. "Jungkook?"
Taehyung lowers his chin encouragingly. "Yes, fuck Jungkook. However, in your case, the term 'making love' would be much more appropriate."
"What is going on with you two?", you whisper scandalized, looking back and forth between your best friends with wide eyes.
"If you want the whole backstory: Taehyung and I had a talk this morning", Ji-eun states.
"You had a talk this Monday morning?"
This had to be a dream, because there was just no way. It was Monday, for God's sake.
"Exactly. And we've decided that we are sick of it. We've been quietly observing this whole spiel for too long", she takes a deep breath. "You see, we genuinely wanted the two of you to figure this out by yourselves, like adults. Maybe go on a date. Kiss a little. Confess your undying affection. But clearly-"
"Hold on, I think I need a break-"
"clearly, you two are just incompetent idiots. And we are so tired. You get that, right, __? There is only so much sexual tension our poor souls can handle. And you two crossed that limit", she huffs. "A long time ago."
Your mouth is hanging wide open after her little speech and your jaw only drops further towards the ground with Taehyung's next words.
"Also, you are kind of breaking Jungkook's heart at this point."
"Breaking Jungkook's heart? Are you insane?", you cross your arms over your chest. "Seriously, what the hell are the both of you on? You're trying to fuck with me, aren't you?"
When they don't answer, the only option you see for yourself is to slap your palm flat against your cheek with as much force as one can possibly use when hitting oneself.
"Oh shit ", you wince.
Immediate regret washes over you as half of your face begins to sting from the strength you mustered only to prove that this was in fact not a dream.
Ji-eun shakes her head at you pityingly. "See, __, this is exactly where the problem lies. You are not only oblivious as heck, but you are also incredibly dumb."
You clutch your reddened cheek.
"But don't worry. This is where we come in", Taehyung's good-natured tone is always a welcome contrast to Ji-eun's harshness. "As your best friends and saviours."
"No, Taehyung, this is where you come in as my clue to start looking for anti-schizophrenia pills as soon as possible", you veto.
You and Jungkook have known each other for what seems like three lifetimes too long. Not only because he grew up next door, but also because he and your brother Jimin decided to spend every waking second glued to the other's hip from the moment they met. Not once has your relationship crossed the line of annoying the living hell out of each other.
So you genuinely don't understand where all of this is coming from.
"The thing is, __, we know your story. You're from a small town, socially awkward, never had a boyfriend. Like, no male genitalia has even ever been in the vicinity of you. Of course you wouldn't get it, you poor thing!", Ji-eun coos. "So now we are going to spell it out for you nice and slow, with easy words so that even your disappointment of a brain is going to-"
"Can you stop being so mean?"
"So that even your disappointment of a brain is going to understand. When we first arrived on campus and, wait, Taehyung, can you take over? I'm getting a little out of breath."
You watch as she fans the cool spring air onto her face.Unbelievable.
"Sure. It is a tragic story", Taehyung continues dutifully. "When we first arrived on campus and Jungkook lifted you up and spun you around like you were lovers who had been tragically separated we thought why didn't this traitor tell us she had a boyfriend. Remember? But then you explained that he is just like a second brother to you. With him being Jimin's best friend and all that..."
You have trouble following along with how quickly he is sputtering nonsense.
"Yeah, so that belief lasted approximately for the next hour we saw you two interact. And then we figured, oh she doesn't know ", Ji-eun adds. "For a while, we decided to have fun with it and use your idiocy as a source of easy entertainment. Watch as you two danced around one another. But all that initial fun quickly turned into frustration. Because really, how can two people be so utterly stupid-"
"Stop being mean!", you whine, but of course, she babbles right over you.
"I won't, because beating around the bush apparently doesn't work so well with you!", she throws her hands up. "And here comes the fateful moment where we break it to you: All this time you have been entirely misinterpreting Jungkook's social cues and he has actually been harbouring the biggest crush on you!"
She looks at you expectantly, like she is waiting for your grand enlightenment.
As you stay silent, she urges you on.
"Yes! Every time you insisted he was just teasing you for the fun of it, he was teasing you because he is dying to be your babe, your man, your one and only! And you never knew! How silly! "
Taehyung and her laugh like they have just told a hilarious inside joke. Meanwhile your throat feels as dry as sandpaper.
"I get that all of this might be a little bit of a shock for you", Taehyung says empathetically. "But is it really? I mean, you must've at least had a suspicion!"
Suddenly, laughter of your own begins to splutter from your throat. It makes more noise than you would normally dare to at a soccer game, but you can't seem to stop yourself, no matter how insane you might look.
You feel insane.
With the last waves of laughter ebbing through your body, you catch a single tear from the corner of your eye. "You guys are actually so funny."
That is when Ji-eun and Taehyung's contented expression morphs into one of horror.
"Wait, this is not a joke-"
"Good one", you clap.
Ji-eun looks earnestly panicked. "Fucking hell Tae, what are we supposed to do with her?"
The latter drops his head into his hands. "Kill her. I don't care about the consequences anymore."
"It was funny, I'll give you that", you grin at them. "But this was a little too elaborate, even for you."
Taehyung and Ji-eun have never looked at you in such seriousness before.
"We are going to dissect her body very, very slowly", Ji-eun whispers.
"Yeah, me too."
You flinch in surprise at your brother's voice. Your friends' antics had been so distracting that you hadn't even noticed the game ending and Jimin trotting over to where your group was one of the only ones left to lounge around the auditorium.
You cross your arms over your chest. "What did I do this time?"
"Why are you wearing Jungkook's jersey instead of mine?", Jimin questions in turn.
"Oh."
You sheepishly glance down at the 09 imprinted on your shirt. With the words of the previous accusations still ringing in your ears, you can't help but blush a little. It doesn't do you any good that you see Jungkook approaching your group in the corner of your eye.
"Well, he said he was going to buy me ice cream if I did."
"You're lucky this was only a practice game. Saturday in two weeks you better wear mine." Jimin ruffles through your hair. "I need you as my good-luck charm for the real thing."
"Request declined", Jungkook slings an arm around Jimin's shoulder. "She's my good-luck charm. Did you see the goal I just scored?"
"I'm not anyone's good-luck charm", you cross your arms over your chest. "However, I'm a slave to whoever is willing to buy me the most ice cream."
You look between Jimin and Jungkook expectantly, waiting for either of the two to bite your bait.
It doesn't surprise you that Jungkook does at once. "Be my slave. I'll double the amount. Ice cream today and Saturday in two weeks."
The offer seems to convince you easily enough. "Sorry, Jimin. Unless you come up with a better deal you'll have to find another good-luck charm."
You send Jimin an apologetic look, but just as he didn't really care, you weren't really sorry. It was free ice cream, after all.
"This is a date, by the way", Jungkook announces.
"I hate you two", Jimin grumbles in turn.
Jungkook presses an obnoxious kiss to your brother's cheek. "I love you too, bro."
Jimin rolls his eyes. "Yeah, almost as much as you love __."
You try to hold back the groan threatening to slip from your throat.
Jungkook and Jimin's teasing wasn't anything out of the ordinary but with the very obvious looks that Tae and Ji-eun were sending each other over your shoulder, you suddenly felt weird. Like you weren't quite catching on to something very obvious.
You try to shake the feeling. "Whatever, just change and buy me my ice cream. I don't have all night."
Jungkook complies in seconds, already turning around as he winks. "Will do, busy girl."
"He's whipped", Taehyung mumbles under his breath.
You don't even scold him for dragging out the joke that Jungkook And __ Together was to a point that felt uncomfortable, because you are shortly distracted by Jungkook's thighs as he jogs over the green grass.
Why does he look so incredibly similar to a chicken?, you think to yourself.
"She's whipped", Ji-eun eyes you thoughtfully.
Jimin crosses his arms over his chest. "Fuck them both."
___
Your friends' words keep circling around your head as you make Jungkook keep his promise of treating you to ice cream.
He looks a bit different from when you last saw him before he left for college. His brown locks have grown long enough to where he could easily tie them back them if he wanted to, and his once lanky arms are decently muscular now. Not to mention that he had gotten an ungodly amount of tattoos that now prettily adorned his skin. Also, randomly, he had grown into his nose.
In conclusion: There is not a single cell in your body that feels attracted to him.
"Can you believe Tae and Ji-eun actually tried to convince me you had a crush on me today?", you splutter just as he places your chocolate ice cream in front of you.
He freezes. "What?"
"Ridiculous, right?", you laugh with your mouth already full. "I mean, come on! Us? Together? Never in a million years!"
He looks almost dazed and the amused expression on his face resembles a grimace. But you are too busy digging into your ice cream to notice.
"Huh", he clears his throat. "No, totally. Haha. Never. How did they even come up with something like that?"
"Don't ask me!", you giggle. "I think they were just bored. You know they despise soccer..."
Internally, Jungkook curses you.
He wanted to scream Your friends are fucking right! I want a tattoo of your face! I've been in love with you since fucking middle school!
But for very obvious reasons he couldn't dare to make his little obsession known to you anytime soon. The most pressing of those reasons was that the mere thought of him liking you seemed to make you laugh.
So instead he had to watch you sit much too far away from him, in his jersey, looking tenfold more delicious than the his ice cream and keep doing what he has been best for the last ten years: treat you like something similar to a little sister.
Pine after you quietly and lace his words with mockery. Hide behind meaningless insults.
"You still eating that?", he asks in the process of pulling your half-eaten bowl of ice cream towards himself. He knows the answer already.
Still, the look of horror on your face is too good to miss out on. "Yes, of-freaking-course I am!"
His heart skips a beat or two when your fingers wrap around his wrist in an attempt to win back your treat. "Give it back, you greedy ass! You have an entire bowl for yourself!"
For good measure he tries to pry your beloved ice cream further towards himself, struggling against your tight grip.
"Jungkook", you whine in response, drawing out the word.
He almost loses his mind at the sound of your voice and decides that it is enough for now. He'll make you touch him again later...
Swiftly, he frees himself from your grip, and gives into the voice in his head that urges him to just go a little bit further.
So he tugs the bowl toward him and gulps down an obnoxiously big spoon of the treat.
"This is what I get for looking ridiculous in your stupid jersey all afternoon?", you ask in disbelief.
He puffs out his cheeks. "Ridiculous? In my jersey? Such accusations reduce compensation by at least two more spoons."
Across from him your lips form a pout and consequently, his heart swells to a point that is almost painful. He quickly pushes the bowl back in your direction.
After all, he has to drawn the line somewhere, or he might just melt into a puddle by your feet and have you walk all over him without a sparing him a second glance. Not that he would mind, really.
"Kidding", he grins, and you wordlessly dig back in.
While he is sure all you think about is your food, all he can think about is how this was an indirect kiss. Has probably happened around one hundred times and didn't mean a thing to you. But he can't take his eyes off the way your lips wrap around the plastic spoon.
The semi in his pants certainly doesn't make him feel any less gross either.
God, why did he always turn into such a hormonal mess when he was around you?
___________________________________
Not much later, when Jungkook drops you off in front of your dorm, your phone chimes.
GET THAT abcDefghiJK
Tae added you.
Tae added Ji-eun.
You: don't we already have a group chat?
Tae: indeed, we do
Tae: look at the group name though Tae: this a special one
Ji-eun: isn't that right bitch Ji-eun: AND there's rules Ji-eun: first of all
Ji-eun: @__ does not get to talk
You: i'm exiting
Ji-eun: NO WAIT
Tae: calm down Tae: she won't actually leave Tae: you know she's all bark no bite
You: i am ALL bark ALL bite you motherfucker
Just to prove your point, you exit the group. Mere seconds later, Taehyung has re-added you.
Tae: be a good pet then, and behave for your owners
Ji-eun: 🤢 ur making me contemplate leaving too
Tae: you know you won't Tae: anyway
Tae: let me welcome you officially to "GET THAT abcDefghiJK"
Tae: credits to Ji-eun at this point for the creative name
Ji-eun: thank you Ji-eun: for your information Ji-eun: this group is a safe space where tae and i get to talk and you shut up and follow our orders
You: what is all of this about i'm tired You: and why does it feel like i was involuntarily added to some bdsm facebook group
Ji-eun: can you not tell from the title? Ji-eun: gosh, you really keep proving my point
Ji-eun: you don't have a single functioning brain cell
Ji-eun: should've named the chat "enjoy your last days before i strangle you, dumb bitch"
You: degradation i see You: and choking too You: why are u using ME to live out all your kinky fantasies though
Tae: __ you do NOT Tae: and i repeat DO NOT Tae: get to speak
Ji-eun:!!!!!! Ji-eun: this group is like a pin board of reminders for you Ji-eun: a pin board of reminders that jungkook is dying to get into your panties Ji-eun: view it as a gift
Tae: whenever he makes obvious advances Tae: and you are too enchanted by his sheer presence to see it Tae: expect to receive a notification
You immediately groan. So they hadn't actually been joking then. They really believed Jungkook had some secret crush on you.
You: y'all are ridiculous
Tae has revoked @__'s rights to send messages into GET THAT abcDefghiJK.
Ji-eun: good thing we settled that
Incredulous, you look at your screen. Since when did WhatsApp even have that feature? Knowing Taehyung will put you back in within a heartbeat, there is no point in exiting the group either.
Tae: (1 image attached) Tae: here's some reference for your nightly masturbation sesh
Ji-eun: my god he IS hot Ji-eun: where did you even get that pic from
Tae: well, what can i say not even mr. campus hotshot is resistant to the charms of kim taehyung
Ji-eun: shhh don't make the baby jealous
Tae: don't worry @__ Tae: that pic is actually form his gaming insta that strangely enough only i and one other person have discovered so far Tae: and BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME Tae: i had some in-depth digging to do on __'s behalf
Ji-eun: actually Ji-eun: that other follower of @valorantxjeon is me
Tae: omg YOU BITCH
Ji-eun: we really are the bestest friends ever huh
Tae: SAY IT LOUDER
You subconsciously clench your teeth while watching one ridiculous message after the other pop up on your screen. There's a lot you have to say, namely Can you stop being ridiculous? or You are freaking delusional!, but clearly you don't get to share your opinion.
In truth, your friends' messages made you feel somewhat uncomfortable. Sure you were extremely open with one another and sexuality was never a taboo subject, but this was Jungkook.
To even think of him in a sexual context made shivers run down your spine. The bad kind.
You just hoped they would find some insubstantial campus drama to quench their first for entertainment soon. Because that was obviously all there was to this nonsense.
___
Or so you thought.
Just the next day, Ji-eun seems like she wants to make it very clear that she was very serious about this.
"Stop denying that he is the hottest human to ever walk this planet-"
"You can't be serious right now! Even at lunch?"
"Even at lunch!", Ji-eun spits. "The denial was maybe cute for a few weeks, but this, my friend, is beyond any sweetness!"
"I'm not in denial! Why do you keep telling me-"
"Because I've had enough! The tension between you and Jungkook is killing everyone."
"What do you mean by everyone?"
Ji-eun looks at you pointedly. "I mean literally everyone. Name any random person on this campus and they will confirm in a heartbeat that you two are this", she makes a gesture with her fingers, "close to kissing romantically. Hell, even my parents pointed out Jungkook was whipped for you after they saw you two at the entrance ceremony."
"They did not! " You are genuinely shocked. "Stop messing with me, it's not funny!"
Ji-eun lets her head fall back, groaning loudly. "See, this is exactly what I am talking about! You are completely oblivious! It's just a matter of time until Jungkook can't take your stupidity anymore and confesses to you for real."
"Who is confessing to who?"
Why did Jimin always have to appear at the most inconvenient of moments? He didn't even deign hang out with you and your friends that often!
"None of your business!", you hastily rush out before either Ji-eun or Taehyung get the chance to share their crazy theories.
Jimin shrugs, letting the subject drop easily. Though you two were close, he wasn't usually interested in the gossip that you shared with your friends.
You are about to ask him about the call with your grandma you were planning for this afternoon, but he doesn't stay put for long enough.
With a powerful hit of his knee into Jimin's back, Jungkook effectively pushes your brother out of the way. Of course the man of the hour would trail behind your brother like a lost puppy. And of course he would act in a way that would only encourage your friends further in their conspiracies.
"Ow, you idiot-"
"Make some space", is the only thing Jungkook says, as he slides into the seat next to you. The fact that he almost shoves Jimin off of the bench in the process is something that he blissfully ignores.
"Good morning", he cheers into your ears. "Isn't it such a nice day? I love spring."
"God, you are so loud", you press your hand over your ear.
"Just happy to see you", he smiles at you widely.
Jimin smacks him across the back of his head at that. "Stop perving, Jungkook."
At the same time you hear a string of dings coming from your phone that you try your best to ignore. You really should've muted that damn group chat.
"You still eating that?", Jungkook asks completely ignorant, enthusiastically scanning the half-eaten burger that is sitting on your plate.
It looks less than appetising by now, but as soon as you push the plate towards Jungkook he digs in without hesitation. "Why do you always steal my food?"
Jungkook couldn't tell you the truth, which was something along the lines of I just want to share everything with you so that there are no lines between what is mine and what is yours anymore. That way you would also be mine.
So he shrugs his shoulders instead. "I haven't eaten since breakfast."
"It's only 11:30", you remind him, making a disgusted face at the way he devours the burger.
"So what? How do you think I build up all these muscles", he flexes his biceps in your face for a second. "It's all for the gains, babe."
"Don't say that ever again", you huff.
Jungkook mischievously smiles at you in response with a little bit of barbecue sauce dripping from the corner of his mouth. "Why, 'cause you like it too much?"
"No, because it makes me want to vomit."
"Oh, okay. Anyway. When are we hanging out next?", he moves on rather quickly.
"How about Thursday night? We still have to finish The Shining since someone decided to ruin it for us last time by starting to cry", Taehyung suggests, fixing Ji-eun in the process.
"You can't just not invite me, that's-", Ji-eun starts, offended, but she is interrupted by Jungkook midway.
"In fact, none of you losers are invited." To your horror, he pulls you closer against his side until your thighs are held flush against his next. "I meant __ and I."
"Of course, you meant __ and you", Ji-eun shakes her head in resignation.
God. You really had to convince Ji-eun and Tae that Jungkook couldn't be less interested in you. But Jungkook wasn't exactly making things easy for you.
"Sure, Jungkook, keep dreaming." You make it a point to sound as revoked as possible at his suggestion.
"Gleefully so", Jungkook grins, not without stuffing the last few fries on the plate into his mouth.
As expected, another set of dings interrupts the peace of this beautiful sunny morning.
Noticing the way you wince at the sound, Jimin curiously tries to pry your phone out of your hands. "Who is tha-"
"No one!", you shout a tad too quickly. "Probably just the chat for uh... my chemistry project."
He seems unconvinced. "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Suddenly, you have to hold your breath. The reason being the way Jungkook stiffens beside you at your brother's question.
You shake your head at yourself. Tae and Ji-eun have made you paranoid!
"No!", you deny vehemently. "Not that it would be any of your business anyway."
Jimin seems disinterred to push any further, complaining about his horrible advanced mathematics professor instead.
Your gaze automatically wanders to Jungkook who is burning holes into the side of your head. You raise an eyebrow in question and he shakes his head and gulps down the last bite of the burger.
The same uneasy feeling of missing something that is right in front of you settles into your stomach and for the hundredth time today you curse your friends for planting weird ideas in your head.
Later, you absentmindedly scroll through all of the ignored text messages in your group chat, which are a lot. You decide not to pay them too much mind.
Each one is more infuriating than the previous anyway, the last ones being a dialogue about you clarifying that you didn't have a boyfriend earlier.
Tae: look at him chewing all satisfied
Ji-eun: right lolll he looked so scared for a second Ji-eun: don't you see what you are doing to him __??????
Tae: hahhhh young love
Ji-eun: makes people go fucking dumb
___
Ever since that morning, thoughts of doubt have been swirling around your head non-stop. You have become painfully aware of every single move Jungkook makes around you.
It doesn't help that Taehyung and Ji-eun use every chance they get to point out Jungkook's supposedly "telling" behaviour and your phone dings approximately every two seconds.
Every word and gesture you would have deemed innocent only two days ago makes you doubt your entire existence now, only because your friends have nothing better to do than try to convince you of something that is clearly nothing but a manifestation of their boredom.
Although you still don't think their nonsense has any truth to it, you can't stop your heartbeat from picking up when Jungkook is around you lately.
It isn't really a matter of getting flustered by the idea of Jungkook liking you, it's more that you are beginning to get scared he might actually be so horrendous at expressing his feelings that any of the following events could be taken as more than him trying to annoy you:
Tuesday, when you were planning your next trip back home with Jimin, he randomly snuck up behind you and started braiding your hair, resulting in a nest on your head. When he cackled and took pictures of you glaring at him, you suddenly heard Ji-eun's voice in your head, scolding you. Can't you see, he is doing this only to find some way to touch you?
That same night he sent you a picture of him and you when you were around 10 years old. It was the most awkward image you had ever laid your eyes on. Jungkook was two heads taller than you, showing off his bunny teeth in a wide smile, arm thrown loosely around your shoulder. You stood beside him in shirt that said It's a tea-shirt, your self-made pigtails painfully asymmetrical and your knees cut open and bruised form the many times you would crash your bicycle.
You had interpreted this random message as him trying to remind you of your questionable fashion choices when you were younger until some more texts popped up on your screen.
Jungkook: remember this day? Jungkook: you crashed your bike into my basketball basket
You: yeah you cried and told on me to your mom You: also you were TWELVE when that happened You: such a baby
Jungkook: LIAR Jungkook: i was nine at most Jungkook: and i remember you feeling so guilty that you baked me cookies and begged me for forgiveness for days
You: pfft begged for forgiveness in your dreams
Jungkook: want to know something? Jungkook: those cookies sucked ass Jungkook: tasted like actual grass Jungkook: bet u didn't wash your hands you nasty fucker Jungkook: but i pretended i liked em cause i was convinced we were going to get married one day
Your breath catches in your throat. He was what?
When you take a second too long to respond, Jungkook starts typing again.
Jungkook: haha Jungkook: until i hit puberty two months later and realised i was TERRIBLY mistaken
You sigh out the breath you didn't realise you were holding.
You: don't lie, you didn't hit puberty until you were like 17
It's only a day later when he sends you an up-close picture of his nostrils with the words daddy misses u that you regain a little confidence in his flirting abilities. He couldn't be flirting. There was simply no way.
No way he was trying to show genuine infatuation when he leaned in and bent over the popsicle between your fingers in the library a few days later. Licking and winking. Moaning a little too loud. Panic took hold of you, and looking around frantically, you clasped your hand over his mouth. And he licked that too. No way.
Or was there? These thoughts have been keeping you up night after night, and sometimes, in the dark of your bedroom, you allow your mind to wander to the what-ifs.
They are a thoroughly dangerous territory since you usually end up cursing yourself by the time you consider one of the following:
What if your friends were right and Jungkook really had a crush on you? What if the thundering in your chest when he was around meant you had a crush on him yourself? And worst: What if he didn't have a crush on you, but you were slowly starting to fall for him?
Be it as it may, you weren't going to find out any time soon because you were a Little Bitch and wouldn't ask him over your dead body.
Am I going crazy, or do you actually want to play with my hair, and kiss my forehead, and wander off into the sunset with me?
Yeah, no. Not going to happen.
___
It is a Sunday afternoon which means you are over at Jimin's apartment making use of the fact that your brother was always two steps ahead of you. Two years older, entered university two years earlier, lives in an off-campus apartment and has his own kitchen.
You hum to yourself, content with your brother's financial superiority as you chop up parsley and tomatoes for the pasta you were making.
You love cooking and the fact that Jimin's roommates were usually all buried in long overdue homework or out of the apartment at this time of the week ensured that you had this beautiful, shiny kitchen all to yourself.
Today was especially nice because the apartment's completely empty. Well, that is except for Min Yoongi, one of Jimin's roommates that you really didn't know much about. But he has been fast asleep for over 40 minutes now.
That is why it is all the more startling when your peace and quiet is interrupted by the loud rattle of the front door. A moment later Jungkook steps into the kitchen, panting like he has just run a marathon.
Your mouth drops open. His entrance was truly... uncharacteristic. Did he look... incredibly good?
"Oh hi, __", he greets you, out of breath, and not at all surprised by your presence.
You being here on Sundays was not unusual, after all. What was unusual was Jungkook being here on Sundays. What was even more unusual was him being here shirtless, with his hair soaked in sweat.
You avert your gaze immediately. "What are you doing here?"
You almost wince at how offended you sounded about him standing in his own kitchen.
"Uhm, I live here?", he answers matter-of-factly while opening the fridge for some water.
"Yeah, but it's Sunday and you are shirtless!", you accuse as if he has broken the rules. Which he had, in fact.
It takes a while for Jungkook to respond because he is busy leaning his head back to down an entire bottle of water in mere seconds. You can't help but gawk at the veins on his neck.
"What are you, a tank?", you complain at the risk of looking too hard.
He either doesn't hear you because of how loudly he is crushing the plastic bottle between his fingers, or he just chooses to ignore you.
"Well, I'm usually at the gym on Sundays but since the weather is so nice I decided to go on a run around the neighbourhood", he explains. "I have been sore for days now, so a full-blown gym session might've been a little too enthusiastic anyway. Coach has really been having it out for us."
Your brain shortcuts.
Jungkook. Sore. Muscles. Workout.
The reason behind your jumbled thoughts seems to be completely oblivious to your perplexity.
All Jungkook does is curiously lean forward to look over your shoulder. "What are you cooking?"
Why was he not freaking out? And since when was it okay for him to put his naked upper body so close to yours?
In an attempt to get some distance between the two of you, you shush him away with a kitchen towel. "Cooking, obviously. Go take a shower, Jungkook. You reek!"
He wipes away a few strands that had been sticking to his forehead. "I recently got a new tattoo."
"What? Don't change the subject!", you narrow your eyes at him, annoyed at how he was still standing there shirtless.
The only reason it bothered you so much was because Sundays were supposed to be relaxing and serene. A day of God. Not a day filled with your chest tightening at Jungkook's abs.
Not that you were religious.
"Yes, look", Jungkook holds your gaze before slowly letting it drop down onto his crotch. Then he takes it back up to you and licks his lips.
He was doing this on purpose!
"Yeah, sure, Jungkook!", you are about to turn away, thinking his not-so-subtle indication of a tattoo by his private area was complete nonsense. A tactic to drive you out of your mind, nothing new.
That is until he pushes the seam of his black shorts up towards his stomach.
To your surprise, he was not just messing with you. Part of his thigh was freshly inked. Though you couldn't see all of his tattoo because a large portion of the lines and shading disappeared under his boxers.
Maybe you were religious.
You flush a deep shade of red. "Why the hell are you showing me this? Are you not embarrassed?"
"Why should I be? As my friend you have to know every single detail about my body", he leans back against the counter, letting the seam of his shorts drop back into place.
"Why should you be embarrassed? It's a fucking anime tattoo! It's nerdy as shit and also I don't have or for that matter want to know anything about your bo-"
"Don't try to tell me I didn't catch you looking at hentai when you were fourteen."
Your breath gets stuck in your throat. Why would he bring that up? He has never brought that up! Not once.
"What is wrong with you?", you shriek. "And what does that even have to do with anything? Anime and hentai are two entirely different categories of animation and- and why the hell are you here on a Sunday, go shower you insufferable, little shi-"
He reaches behind you, almost touching his body to yours in the process and you freeze once again. Whatever it was that he was trying to get (and you aren't convinced there even was anything to get) he doesn't, because you push him away so forcefully that he stumbles back a few steps.
At this point, your heart is almost jumping out of your chest.
Jungkook on the other hand appears as unfazed as ever. He only giggles at your obvious bashfulness. "Okay, okay, I'll go take a shower."
He disappears... Not without dramatically combing his fingers through his hair as he turns.
Fuck him.
Minutes later, as you stir the pasta in a daze, realisation sets in. You just thought Jungkook was... hot? You definitely just thought Jungkook was hot!
You almost have a panic attack on the spot. You just found Jungkook so hot you got all shy and awkward!
Frantically, you check your period tracker. It must be a hormonal imbalance.
You huff out a relieved sigh. You aren't exactly sure how to correctly interpret each part of the female cycle but one look at the app seems to confirm that there was nothing to this but hormones.
Only the fact that he was conventionally attractive, and he was shirtless and had muscles and had tattoos and had long hair and had pretty eyes and had veiny arms and was sweaty which meant IT WAS ACTUALLY ALL BECAUSE OF THE PHEROMONES!
This also explains the way you weirdly want to crawl into his arms when he settles into the couch 15 minutes later, starting up a game of Minecraft on the living-room television.
You try your best to focus on the pasta boiling in front of you but every two seconds your eyes involuntarily wander to Jungkook. It's not fair! Why did he have to appear exactly the day it was least convenient because of your biological likeliness to find him sexy as fuck?
He shouldn't have worn that shirt, also. It's a basic white t-shirt, the kind that every single member of the human race owns and that does absolutely nothing to accentuate his body or skin tone and so he looks out of this world in it. So cozy and cute and comfortable. Could he have worn anything less flattering?
After two minutes of intensely staring at his side profile your entire body is hot and your brain is in shambles and you can't blame it on the steam coming from the pots on the stove.
You need to put a stop to this.
"Jungkook, I'm sorry, but you cannot be here any longer."
"Huh?"
"You have to leave. As soon as you can."
The corners of his mouth twitch. "Why exactly? Are you afraid I'll eat your pasta?"
You can't come up with a reason that doesn't sound as ridiculous as I just saw you shirtless and now I don't know how to act because you're hot and the last few days I've been feeling weird about you and now I am scared shitless!
"No, just because", you put your hands on your hips. "... I am here on Sundays!"
"You do realise that this is my apartment, right?", he deadpans.
He has a point. "Yes, but-"
"I'll just help you", he decides and gets up.
"What? No! That's not at all-"
"Shh~", he presses a finger against his lips and you are inclined to strangle him.
Even though the kitchen was marvellous it wasn't exactly huge, and being in such close proximity to Jungkook was the exact opposite of what you needed right now in order to keep your sanity intact.
"I'm a good cook, trust me."
He was indeed not a good cook at all.
After only five minutes, the kitchen looks like a mess as a consequence of his attempt at opening a can of chopped tomatoes with a pair of scissors. Most of the contents have landed in your hair and you are now holding the scissors against this chest.
"I swear to God, Jungkook, if you don't leave this room right now, I'm going to sta-"
"What the fuck is all of this noise about?"
Blinded by fury, you didn't even notice the door to Min Yoongi's room opening and him peeking out with his eyes closed to slits that replicate your own.
"She is trying to murder me, Yoongi!", Jungkook accuses and you muse that he genuinely looks scared, grabbing the counter behind him with white knuckles. Good.
Sheepishly, you tug the scissors behind your back. "He is interrupting my peaceful afternoon. I am only-"
"Why is there tomato in your hair?", Yoongi grumbles. "Why is there tomato all over the fucking kitchen?"
Then he looks at Jungkook like a dad who is scolding his son. And he does exactly that. Scold him. Only using very inappropriate language.
"You dumb fucker. Can you be any more of an idiot? You're trying to get her to like you, not spill fucking canned tomatoes over her head!"
Your mouth drops open. The reason being that even Min Yoongi thinks Jungkook has a crush on you.
"Sit down, kids. I'll take care of this mess", Yoongi shoos you out of the dirty kitchen before you have time to think. "Actually, go clean __'s hair, Jungkook. And try not to be a dick for once."
You glare at Jungkook the entire 10 minutes he takes to fish each read clump out of your hair with an apologetic yet amused look on his face.
"Stop smiling, asshole."
"Your hair is so pretty", he sighs dreamily, paying you no mind.
"Why are you always so-"
"Did you notice I finished cleaning it up like 5 minutes ago?"
"What? Then why in the world-"
"You've always liked it when I play with your hair."
You open your mouth to protest, but he cuts you right off.
"Nuh-uh, don't say a thing. I just saw you close your eyes for a good thirty seconds."
"Pfft", you feign ignorance, too proud to admit that he is right. "Only because I can't stand looking at your ugly face."
"Whatever you say, sweet cheeks."
He runs his fingers over your scalp once again. Accidentally, you shudder. And he looks. Very closely.
All at once, he gets up, coughing awkwardly.
"You should probably take a shower. I can't get rid of this shit without water."
Before you have time to protest, he has closed the door behind himself, shouting through the thin barrier. "I'll leave some clothes in front of the bathroom for you."
For the next few minutes, you try to burn away the memory of Jungkook's fingers in your hair with an excruciatingly hot shower. It works semi-well, considering you now do not only feel hot on the outside but also on the inside.
When you step out into the living room in Jungkook's clothes, the hot feeling inside your chest spreads out all the way to the pit of your stomach.
His eyes fall on you and widen.
In place of the stupid comment that you half-expected, all he does is scan you with his bottom lip tugged away beneath his teeth.
From your wet hair to your toes in his white socks you're all covered in him, he thinks. His shampoo, his clothes, the traces of his fingertips. His, his, his. How can he blur the lines further and make it ours? And why is his brain suddenly working like that of a dog trying to mark its territory?
Yoongi finally breaks the spell with a not-so-subtle step on Jungkook's foot. "Let's eat, children."
Then, and you aren't sure whether you only imagine it, he mumbles under his breath. "Before he loses his shit entirely."
The dinner is simultaneously uneventful and surprising. It is uneventful because Yoongi and you both clearly aren't the type of person to make conversation with a stranger and Jungkook is oddly quiet for once.
It is also surprising because Yoongi is an outstandingly great cook. Personally, you had taken him more for the type to eat old cigarettes out of a metal ashtray. Never judge a book by its cover, you guess.
Jungkook for his part is feeling all warm and fuzzy. The light is igniting your face from behind and you look closer to the angel he knows you are. For a bonus, you are letting your hair air dry, and he gets to see it in its natural, messy state which is an unusual occurrence.
He wants to have you close so badly.
He knows it's not right because you are so incredibly out of his league, so far out of his reach, he shouldn't even dare to outstretch his hands.
You are beautiful in a way that goes beyond his ability to fully fathom. But ever so often, the fundamentals of the idea that lie behind Your Beauty scratch the surfaces of his understanding. That's when he gets a taste of something that is almost too much for him to stomach.
That way he also knows he doesn't deserve to even think of you.
But he is weaker than some held him accountable for. He couldn't stop himself from letting his mind wander to places he knew would drive him downright psychotic. At night when he wrapped his hand around himself or right now when his shirt fell down your shoulder and exposed your neck and he wanted to pull you down onto the couch in the living room, hidden away beneath him, and kiss you stupid.
He didn't fantasise about things that went beyond innocent most of the time. Just little pecks and sweet nothings whispered into your skin that he would carefully caress. Your smile directed at him, and only him.
If he could choose one dream of his to come true it would not be that you allowed him to do these things with you.
That couldn't possibly be enough, no.
If he could choose one dream of his to come true, it would be that you wanted him to do these things with you too.
How sweet would it be to have you want to whisper to him, fuck him, smile at him and only him?
But the universe has a funny way of pointing out to him in bright colours that you liking him back was about as likely as him getting over you. Fucking perfect.
"Somebody care to explain to me what the heck is going on here?", Jimin aggressively throws the door of the apartment shut behind him.
Jungkook startles out of his trance-like state soon enough to see you looking up at your brother with raised eyebrows. "Sorry that we ate without you?"
"Yes, I am also terribly sorry that my little sister and my best friend are having a fucking candlelight dinner without me", Jimin stumps across the floor, not bothering to take his shoes off and pulls Jungkook up by the back of his shirt. "I'm even more sorry that my sister is wearing my idiot best friend's clothes."
You swallow hard. Where the fuck had Yoongi gone? And when had he lit those candles? "This is not what it looks like, I swear!"
At the same time, Jungkook punches Jimin in the stomach. "Better get used to it, motherfucker."
Why did he always have to nullify your efforts?
You shoot him an exasperated look and he swears you are so hot, but oh so cruel.
___
It's a Friday night when Jungkook realizes that, once again, he is royally fucked.
The night had started out innocently enough. Practice had been going well and after he had broken a good sweat Jayden offered him some of the good weed in the locker room, which of course he didn't deny.
He wasn't an idiot.
So he got high with some of his teammates. High as fuck, actually. And it had been great. All fun and dandy.
Until he entered that damned Italian restaurant.
Just as his luck had it, you and your group of friends had also decided to enjoy the fine dining services offered at El Torero that very evening. (The fact that this Italian restaurant had a Spanish name also really messed him up.)
Which wouldn't have been as tragic as he made it out to be if you weren't so pretty.
Which also wouldn't have been as tragic, if he could go through with his plan of pretending he didn't notice your presence.
But Jimin spotted you right away and loudly greeted you across the restaurant, his teammates following suit and before he knew what was happening to him he was cramped into a tiny booth with way too many people and you way too close.
And so he had to watch you, high as a kite.
The problem there should be obvious.
"Mine would be Antarctica", you announce on the topic of dream travel destinations.
"Antarctica? Are you crazy?", Jayden looks at you like you have two heads.
"Why not?", you retort. "Seeing penguins in the wild is at the very top of my bucket list and besides I imagine it to be so cozy. It would be freezing cold outside but you would still go on little adventures every day. And then the rest of time you get to spend inside the cruise ship with your travel buddies."
Your eyes sparkle enthusiastically as you imagine yourself somewhere far across the ocean.
Jungkook stares at the side of your head, so obsessed.
If only he knew more about the subjects that you were passionate about so he could talk to you about them and get a taste of how magnificent your brain truly was. He wanted to take a look deep inside of it only to find he was an insignificant scumbag by comparison.
Maybe you would realise soon enough just how inferior he truly was, and being the generous soul that you were, you would take pity on him. Then you would sit him down and explain to him exactly how the world worked. Then maybe, he would be able to see what you see. How much more colourful would the world be then?
He imagines it would be like turning the brightness of his phone screen up at night.
"What about you, Jungkook?"
He is so caught off guard by the question, his eyes take a while to make out who even addressed him.
Ji-eun looks at him expectantly from across the table.
"Huh? What?", he asks dumbly.
"Your dream travel destination", Taehyung helps him out.
"Oh", Jungkook's mind is as blank as an empty sheet of paper. "Antarctica?"
Jungkook winces as Jimin throws a cold fry at him. "Stop being in love with my sister!"
Jungkook kicks Jimin under the table. "Then have a less perfect sister."
You lean your head on Taehyung's shoulder, looking somewhat bored by the conversation.
Little does Jungkook know, you are currently wishing death upon him on the inside. You felt like he was making fun of you with his constant teasing. While you were slowly starting to like him more an more he made a literal joke out of flirting with you.
All the while, Jungkook is praying to God that he might be granted the opportunity to spontaneously reincarnate as Kim Taehyung. Jungkook wanted your shoulder resting on him.
"We should go together for our honeymoon, Kook", you decide to tease back. Maybe you playing along with Jungkook's little games would help your subconscious realize that this was all you would ever be to Jungkook. A game.
Jungkook marbles at the nickname, has to consciously fight the urge to shudder at the way it rolls off your lips. Somehow, it sounded almost like an insult but he doesn't really care.
"Stop being in love with me, __", he mimics Jimin's words form earlier and you roll your eyes so hard they almost get stuck.
The conversation quickly moves along after that but Jungkook has happily drifted off, completely engrossed by your presence.
He absolutely loves the way your lips move when you talk. You are so smart and outspoken and-
"Shit", he curses under his breath, barely audible.
Jayden smirks, having watched him with great amusement this entire time. "What was that, Kook?"
"Nothing. I-", Jungkook coughs. "I totally forgot. Haha. I have an assignment to hand in 'till twelve."
Jungkook flees. There is no other option, really. It is either rushing out of the restaurant like he is being chased by a heard of mammoths or flashing the hard-on that would soon form in his pants at the entire restaurant.
As soon as he has locked the doors of his car behind him, his head lands on a steering wheel with a loud thump. He sighs in a mixture of embarrassment and frustration.
How much longer could he stand living like this?
Jungkook felt like he was slowly but surely reaching his breaking point. Being so close to you, yet unable to be with you in the way he desired so badly quite literally drove him insane.
It made him act like a love-sick, hormone-driven idiot. It messed him up to the point where he couldn't be in the same room as you anymore and had to cowardly hide in his car instead.
The painful throbbing of his cock makes Jungkook chuckles at himself.
Was he really going to do this? Drive off and jerk off to the thought of you? Just how much more pathetic could he get?
When he experimentally wraps his fingers around the base of his cock, his grip is so tight that it hurts.
And it should. He deserved the pain if he was really going to go through with this.
And he knew, he just knew, he was. There was simply no way he could resist.
So he hits the pedal and tries to focus on the road. It would be the literal epitome of humiliating if he crashed right now.
A few minutes later he comes to a halt on the side of a quiet road. Thinks the spot fits the whole vibe of What the fuck is wrong with you? quite excellently.
And then he hands himself over to a deeply familiar and well-practiced process.
Even after all these years, it's still the same as when he was alone at night in his bedroom at fourteen years old. And though he finds the way it all unfolds almost comical, it doesn't get any less exciting.
The guilt always sets in first. He thinks self-deprecating thoughts like how he shouldn't do this, shouldn't want you.
At the same time, the rubbing on his cock is so frantic that his hand clashes against the steering wheel several times and each time he gets more embarrassed.
What would you say if you saw him like this? All desperate and brain-dead because you made him so?
He doesn't even want to know. You would probably be spooked.
Another habit that had formed years ago when there was nothing but thin walls separating your houses, was that he wouldn't dare to let your name slip past his lips. When he was younger he feared that if he whispered it just a tad too loudly, the wind would carry the sound to your window.
Somehow that fear endured until now, where he was scared that even across the many miles that separated you, you would hear his quiet pleading and come to laugh right at his face.
But he couldn't help himself tonight.
"__", he sighs as softly as he can and tries to take it back the next second. Can't. "Fuck. Fuck."
Jungkook has to stop for a moment, his wrist hurting and heart pounding.
The effect of the weed has started to wear off a while ago but now he was on a different kind of drug. Now he was high on the thought of you.
That drug does him so well that his fingers wander back down to his cock almost automatically to toy with it. So good that his head sinks back against the headrest.
In a different universe where you met under different circumstances, would you be here with him, your hands stroking his thighs encouragingly?
God, he would love for you to watch. Just sit beside him in the passenger seat and tell him he was doing good. He would be so good for you, he swore.
After that, it doesn't take long until he is gently rocking up into his own hand, releasing straight into it to the thought of your eyes on him.
Attention-whore, he scoffs at himself while wiping his hands in the dark fabric of his jeans.
___
You stare at the back of your classmates head, the voice of your professor but a mere background noise.
Jungkook And __ Together was anything but a joke to you anymore. Only that you couldn't quite grasp the idea that lay behind it.
Did Jungkook And __ Together mean the very thing it implied?
Did Jungkook like you? Did you like Jungkook? Did you like each other? Were you beginning to like him in ways that were very different to the sisterly affection you felt for him before?
You try to shoo the stupid boy with his stupidly fluffy hair and stupidly glowy skin out of your thoughts. Only to spontaneously remember the way he looked that Sunday, sitting on the couch freshly showered.
God, you had to focus!
And not on Jungkook's thigh-tattoo replaying over and over again in the mental cinema that has been your mind for the past week!
✧ thank you for reading! i hope u enjoyed. in any case lmk your thoughts if you the have time to share bc i'm desperately trying to get better at this whole thing. btw im alr working on chapter 2 but it'll probably take at least a few more weeks until it is ready to post. in the meantime let's all enjoy spring! hope u have a great time and plenty sunny days!
The way my heart literally skipped a beat when I read the last paragraph 😮💨
The angst is the perfect amount of angsty and I LOVE IT ! Im also loving the dynamics of the friendship group???? It’s so cute and im already invested 😌
Like a Volcano (Han Jisung One Shot) - part two/?
Pairings: Idol!Han Jisung x f!reader x bestfriend!SKZ
** Includes two of my own original female characters that are romantically involved with two of the boys. Jo x Chan & Ash x Minho
Warnings: swearing; mentions of alcohol; mentions of marijuana; mentions of murderous tendencies (Jo, Seungmin and Minho jokingly plot Jisungs murder). Let me know if I missed any!
Word Count: 5.3k
Enjoy!!
Part One Part Two Part Three
—————————————————————————————————–
Walking out of Jisungs room that night was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. Not only were you turning your back on your one shot with the man you’ve been in love with for years, silently breaking his and your heart in the process, but you also now had to face the reality of what the hell had just happened as you returned to the living room where your friends were.
It seemed the rest of the party stragglers had all gone home and it was just your friends left, all of them now helping clean. Changbin and Jeongin were collecting empty cans and bottles and storing them back into the original boxes for easier discarding, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Ash were sweeping and mopping the floors clean of dumped food and spilled drinks, and Chan and Jo were tackling the mass amounts of red cups that littered the room. Minho was most likely cleaning his kitchen domain as he got pretty upset any time the kitchen turned to a mess.
Felix’s spider-senses must’ve been going off because he was at the bottom of the stairs as soon as you had appeared, staring up at you in concern. You had done your best to wipe the mascara off your face as you rushed from Jisungs room, but based on the look Felix had, you knew you hadn’t done the greatest job in hiding your sadness.
“Bunny, what’s wrong?” he asked not so quietly, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and turn to look your way. You felt heat rush to your cheeks and you tried to swallow back the lump that still sat idly in your throat.
How the hell were you supposed to explain what had just happened when you yourself were still processing the events yourself?
“Nothing Felix. I’m just really tired. I think I’m going to call it a night.” You settled with a tiny white lie.
Felix looked at you unconvincingly, but you paid him no mind as your eyes went searching for Jo. As soon as your eyes found hers, you sent her a look she knew all too well from the years of friendship you two had shared; one that practically screamed ‘get me the hell out of here’.
Instantly, she dropped her bag of garbage and discarded a stack of red cups onto the coffee table.
“I’ll drive you home!” She said, feigning cheerfulness. She knew something was wrong but none of the guys needed to know that. They didn’t need to know anything until the wheels of your plane left the ground the following day.
Ash, being the ever observant friend she was, set her broom and dustpan aside and skipped over to you almost as cheerfully.
“Ou, BabeRacha car ride? Count me in!”
Together, Jo and Ash gathered their things and slipped on their shoes when Minho suddenly appeared through the kitchen doorway with a half-eaten pudding cup in his hands. He glanced at his fiancée and Jo, confused as to what was going on.
“Are we going somewhere?” His gaze then landed on you and his face softened once he got a good look at you. “Y/N what’s going on? Where’s Jisung?”
Before you could open your mouth and feed Minho the same lie you told Felix, Jisungs voice echoed off the walls as he whipped his bedroom door open and shouted loudly down the hallway.
“Y/N wait!”
Upon hearing the desperation and anger in Jisungs voice, everyone’s eyes went from you to the top of the stairs where they expected Jisung to appear. You immediately hurried to the door where Jo and Ash were waiting, turning back to address Minho as you grabbed your things.
“Minho, please, do not let him come after me.”
Minho gave you a worried and confused look, but nodded nonetheless, knowing exactly what it was you needed from him. You only ever called him by his full name if it was urgent, and he picked up on that quirk of yours quickly. Ever since he and Ash had gotten together he’d become a lot more in tune with female emotions, and even though Jisung was one of his best friends, he obeyed you without hesitation.
Jisung appeared at the top of the stairs then, his hair messy as if he’d been pulling at it, his eyes angry but still drenched in tears. He saw you and immediately began descending the staircase two at a time, desperate for one last attempt to get you to stay, but Minho was quick to block his path. Without needing explanation, Chan and Changbin instinctively jumped in and went to help as Minho struggled against Jisungs flailing figure.
Together, the three men managed to stop Jisung from reaching the bottom of the stairs while the remaining four stayed rooted in place, looking as freaked out and bewildered as anyone else in their position would’ve been.
You barely spared anyone a second glance before following Jo and Ash out of the house, slamming the door behind you.
And that was the last time you saw Jisung.
Even now, with all seven of the boys alongside Jo and Ash gathered around you at the airport to bid you one last farewell, Jisung didn’t show. You had laid awake practically all night, replaying the entire fight over and over again in your brain. A small part of you hoped against hope that he would show up despite it all and say goodbye, but he didn’t.
You knew he wouldn’t. Not after you walked out on him the way you had.
Chan was furious at Jisung’s absence. He was currently standing a little ways away from the group, his phone pressed to his ear as he angrily left yet another voice message on Jisungs answering machine.
According to the boys, after you and the girls left abruptly last night, and after the three older men fought Jisungs advances off, Jisung returned to his room as if he were a bull seeing red. He had quickly packed a bag of essentials and, before anyone could stop him, he left the house, swearing and cursing his members into hell for helping you escape.
No one had seen him since, and based on the several messages each member had left on Jisungs phone, urging him to get to the airport before you had to board your plane, they hadn’t heard from him either. Felix and Hyunjin were worried about his lack of response, but the others were just pissed off at his behavior.
“I swear to God Jisung, if you don’t get to the airport in the next thirty minutes, I will personally disown you as my first child and then I’ll kick your ass. Call me back when you get this.” you heard Chan growl into his cell.
Jo was standing with you, her arms wrapped around your waist while yours slung around her shoulder in a half hug, your head resting on hers. She was smiling and laughing with Ash and the boys, but you could tell by the tension in her body that she was also listening in on Chan. No one had ever seen him this upset before, and it was unsettling for all of you.
A moment later, Chan hung up his phone again and returned to the rest of the group, scratching the back of his head in annoyance as he shoved his phone into his pocket.
“Based on the look on your face, I’m assuming he’s not coming?” Jo asked as Chan pushed his way through the circle to resume his spot behind her. He shook his head angrily, opening his mouth to begin the irate rant you all knew was coming, but Seungmin beat him to the punch, trying his best to brighten the mood with his usual level of sarcasm.
“Incredible!” he shouted as he began clapping obnoxiously, bringing everyone’s attention to him. “Detective Jo has once again solved the case! The evidence was beyond us and yet, she somehow managed to figure it out! I’m in awe of you Jo-Jo.”
“I will fuck you up, Seung.” Jo threatened with a smile as she detached herself from your side and stepped into Chan’s embrace once more. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his chin on her head, the anger in his features dissipating quickly.
Seungmin crossed his arms over his chest and flashed Jo a menacing grin. He loved being the only one brave enough to challenge Chan’s rules. Jo was off limits, but it didn’t seem to stop Seungmin from his relentless flirting. It’s like he was fueled by mischief.
“Good luck reaching me from down there, Little Miss Four-Foot Nothing.” He bantered. Jo’s eyes turned to slits as she tried to fight off the smile that sat at her mouth.
“I’m 5’4, asshole.”
“Yikes. That’s still higher than your IQ, Seung.” Minho piped in, joining in on the fun. He had his arm protectively wrapped around Ash’s shoulders, but when Seungmin moved to kick him in the shin, Minho slid behind her in an attempt to hide, laughing manically.
“I can’t fucking stand either of you.” Seungmin hid his laugh behind an annoyed exhale.
“Then kneel, dumbass.”
“Then kneel, dumbass.”
Both Jo and Minho spoke at the same time, resulting in everyone breaking out into laughter as the two of them high-fived each other in approval. The stress that seemed to hang in the air at Jisungs clear absence was slowly being washed away with each chuckle, and you found yourself feeling so incredibly grateful for your friends.
“Why are you guys so mean to me?” Seungmin pouted. Jo reached her hand up and ruffled his fluffy hair, pushing it out of his eyes.
“Cause I’m that much closer to hell than you are, Seung.” She responded sweetly. Everyone let out another laugh at her comment while Seungmin ducked out of her reach and playfully elbowed her in the ribs.
Ever since everyone arrived at the airport merely an hour ago, minus Jisung, you felt like your heart was just minutes away from stopping. Anxiety clawed through your insides like a cat trapped in a cage. Whether it was because of the obvious missing presence or simply just pre-tour jitters, you weren’t sure, but you expected the uneasiness to sink its teeth into you any second now, forcing an anxiety attack from your body.
Thankfully, being surrounded by your friends, laughing and joking as if all was well helped ease some of the tightness in your chest, though only little by little.
That was until Minho’s phone began to ring noisily from his pocket, causing the tension to return to you in full force.
“Fucking finally.” Minho whispered once he caught a glance at the screen.
Everyone fell silent, the stress once again clouding the air like smoke.
“Is that him?” Felix questioned, a hopeful look in his eyes. Minho ignored him and swiped his thumb across the screen before shoving his phone to his ear.
“Jisung, where the fuck are you?”
Jisung could practically taste the fury that rolled off of Minho’s tongue and into his ear. It made his chest tighten slightly, but he took a deep breath and willed himself to relax.
“I’m sorry Hyung. I’m not coming.”
“What do you mean you’re not coming?”
“I mean I’m not coming.”
An irritated breath left Minho’s mouth.
“Fuck off Jisung. I don’t know what the hell happened between you and Y/N last night, and at this point, I don’t really care, but you need to get your ass here, now. Y/N’s plane leaves in no less than two hours. Put in your fucking tampon and come say goodbye.” Minho growled.
Jisung let out a sigh as he glanced around the hotel room he was staying in. His laptop sat open on the bed beside him, his anime currently paused. He made a point not to acknowledge the empty soju bottles that decorated the tabletop, or the bag of marijuana that sat half opened on the nightstand beside him.
Why did his friends, his family, have to make this so difficult for him?
All he wanted to do was forget.
Forget Y/N. Forget her name. Forget her face.
He wanted to forget the way her lips felt against his, even for that brief but magical moment they shared; the way she whimpered and melted into his touch seconds before she ripped his heart out and stomped it into the carpet of his bedroom.
He wanted to forget all of it. The kiss they shared, the fight that ensued, the look she gave him before she slammed the front door and left.
He wanted to forget, but more than anything else, he hoped to God that when he’d wake up from his intoxicated sleep, he’d remember.
He wanted to remember the way she smiled in awe as she listened to the song he made for her, eyes full of tears as they fluttered closed, as if she could feel the emotion and love he poured into each lyric. He wanted to remember the way her body automatically responded to him when he leaned in to kiss her, as if kissing him was as natural to her as breathing. He wanted to remember how absolutely beautiful she looked as she yelled at him with mascara-stained tears.
He wanted to remember it all and he wanted to forget it all.
Jisung took a second to chug back the rest of his drink, setting the empty soju bottle next to the others before he responded to Minho, trying to ignore the sting at his friend’s words.
“I’m sorry Hyung.” was all he could say.
There was a second of silence before Ash’s calm and collected voice suddenly came through the phone.
“Jisung, what’s going on?” she asked, her voice soft. Jisung nearly started to cry just from how warm and concerned she sounded. She always had been like an older sister to him, and her serene and tender attitude hit him like a bucket of ice cold water. He loved the boys so much, but listening to the dozens of harsh messages they’d left him when he didn’t show up to the airport hurt him more than he cared to admit.
“I’m sorry Noona. I can’t.” Jisung didn’t think he had any tears left in him, but his eyes watered as if he hadn’t cried in years. “I love her so much. I can’t.”
Ash let out a sigh as she stepped away from the group of eyes staring expectantly at her, trying to get some privacy when she realized Jisung was crying.
“Ji, I know what happened last night.” She reassured him with a whisper. “Y/N told me everything. And I know it’s hard saying goodbye, but I don’t want you to regret this.”
“I can’t just let her run off with another man.”
“Ji, you know nobody wants you two together more than we do. Chan stopped trying to set her up with other guys years ago because he knows now that you two were absolutely made for each other. We all know that. Just because she’s going on tour with Seojun doesn’t mean she isn’t going to come home to you in a year and a half. You’re the one she loves, not him. You just have to let her figure it out for herself. And she will. She’ll always come home to you.”
“I don’t think so, Noona. Not this time. I fucked up.”
Ash let out a sigh at his words, running a hand through her hair.
“Come and say goodbye and you’ll see that you haven’t.” she tried.
The other end of the line was silent for a moment and she swore she got through to him. Jisung carefully absorbed her words, and for a second, he hoped she was right. But that thought was washed away just as quickly when the image of you walking out the door without a single regret flashed through his brain, causing him to let out an unexpected sob.
“I’m sorry.” Jisung whispered, his voice defeated and tired. “I can’t. Please don’t be mad at me, Noona.”
Another sigh left Ash’s mouth and Jisung braced himself for the words he knew would come next.
“I’m not mad at you Ji. I’m disappointed. Despite everything that happened, we’re still a family, and this isn’t how we treat our family.”
Even though he expected her answer almost word for word, it still hurt to hear her say. Being mad at him was one thing, but being disappointed in him and his actions made his heart ache impossibly more.
He spent so much time trying to make everyone around him proud of everything he did, and hearing Ash say those words did nothing but knock him down a few dozen pegs on his scale of confidence.
He pushed away another round of tears and took a deep breath before responding to her.
“I’m sorry. I’m not coming.”
And that was final.
Ash must have sensed the certainty in his tone and let out yet another heavy sigh, the disappointment more evident now than before. As much as they respected each other and understood each other, she knew better than to try and sway his decisions. He was a stubborn man, and when his heart was set on something, it was nearly impossible to change his mind.
Oh, the irony.
“Okay, I’ll let the gang know.” she whispered.
“Thank you, Noona.” Jisung breathed a sigh of relief, thankful she gave in so easily. He hated fighting against her.
“Don’t thank me.” Ash spoke up again, her voice now firm and authoritative, just like a scolding mothers. “You’re not out of the woods yet Jisung. Just because I’m saying ‘okay’ doesn’t mean I’m happy about this. You still have to face Jo whenever you decide to come home.”
He wasn’t planning on coming home any time soon, but he didn’t say it, lest he let her down even more than he already seemed to have.
“I’m sorry.” he choked out one last time.
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”
She was right, and he knew it, but he couldn’t bring himself to contact you. He wanted so badly to call you and say goodbye, to hear your voice one last time, but he knew it would only cause him more heartbreak if he did. Even though he swore to himself the day he met you that he would do absolutely anything for you, he couldn’t bring himself to do this.
Instead, he let Ash’s words hang in the air for a few moments longer before another sob escaped his throat, causing him to say goodbye and hang up.
Ash shook her head and willed herself to breathe as the dial tone rang in her eardrums.
“So?” Hyunjin prodded as she returned to the group. Everyone looked at her expectantly while she slid Minho’s phone back into the pocket of his jeans, but you already knew based on the way her shoulders slumped that her attempts to convince Jisung to come were helpless. “Is he on his way?”
Ash shook her head at Hyunjin and gave you a sad, guilty look.
“I’m sorry, Babe,” she whispered.
You swallowed the lump in your throat and plastered a smile on your face, trying to mask the hurt you felt. If anyone would’ve been able to convince him, it was her. You were thankful that she at least gave it a try.
“S’okay. I didn’t really expect him to come after everything that happened. Thank you though for trying.”
“I’m gonna’ fucking kill him.” Jo then growled from beside you, her eyebrows furrowed in anger as she shook her head in disgust.
“Not if I kill him first.” Changbin piped in, his jaw clenched in disbelief at his friend’s behavior. He had his phone out in front of him and he was tapping relentlessly against the screen, no doubt sending yet another message to Jisung.
“I’m gonna’ help.” Jeongin decided, his tongue prodding his cheeks as he tried to hold back his frustration. “Binnie and I have watched enough true crime shows to know how to get away with homicide.”
“Guys,” you rubbed the bridge of your nose as Jo and the boys began organizing what you hoped was nothing more than a hypothetical crime. With Jo, there was always the possibility of it being not-so. “Can we please just forget about it? We’re supposed to be saying goodbye, not plotting a murder.”
Your friends ignored you completely.
“You’re right. We have to make it look like an accident.” Jo then continued, her eyes burning holes into the floor as you saw the wheels practically spinning wildly in her mind.
You sent Chan a look of desperation, to which he shrugged his shoulders and gave you a helpless look.
“Why are you looking at me? You know I have no control over them!” He whined.
You rolled your eyes and clenched your jaw in irritation as you glared at him before attempting to calm your friends down again.
“Guys, I think we’re overreacting a bit, yeah?” you tried.
“I’m thinking carbon monoxide in his sleep.” Seungmin stated, nodding his head in approval. The lack of emotion on his face had the hairs on your arms standing upright.
“I’m thinking we just chloroform the little bastard.” Minho suggested, his hands up, pretending like he was holding onto someone’s head while he shoved an imaginary cloth into their non-existent face.
With that, you let out another sigh, louder this time, and rubbed at your temple. You gave Chan another look and winced when you saw his amused smile, no doubt reveling in the fact that he wasn’t at the butt end of the jokes for once in his life.
Thankfully, Ash caught on to your distress and spoke up quickly on your behalf.
“Guys!” Immediately, like little ducklings, everyone stopped talking and turned to look at her. She always stepped into the parental role when Chan couldn’t be bothered to, it was part of the platonic partnership they came up with when they were deemed as Mom and Dad of the group. The boys may not have always listened to Chan, but they never failed to listen to and respect Ash.
“Can we please wait and discuss our premeditated murders until after Y/N’s gone? I don’t think she wants to spend the last of her time with us being reminded of he who shall not be named.”
The boys and Jo muttered their apologies before they dove into other conversations with one another. You mouthed a ‘thank you’ Ash’s way before being roped into the conversation with them.
——————————————————————————————–
It didn’t take long for the time to fly by. One minute you were thanking Ash for stepping in and calming the kids down, and the next, the time had come. The boys were currently held up in a heated debate about Jo and her nickname for Jeongin when you reluctantly glanced up at the clock. A sigh left your mouth.
It was time to go through security and find your gate.
“Only Jo gets to call me Daddy Toast, you know that!”
“I know it, but I’ll never understand it.”
“What does that even mean anyways?”
“Hyunjin, this is why you’re the leader of Baboracha.”
“It means she thinks I’m hot!”
“I do not, Innie!”
“Okay, I do not approve of this conversation anymore.”
You let out a giggle at Chan’s disappointed dad sigh, a hand running down his face as the kids began arguing again. He turned to look at you, his face now pleading.
“Please don’t leave me with these idiots.”
“You’ll be fine.” you reassured him with a smirk. The smirk quickly turned into a sad smile as you let out a breath. “I have to go now.”
Chan nodded before he clapped his hands to grab everyone’s attention. He received a little more resistance than Ash had, but everyone was quick to shut up and listen. “Alright children, it’s time to say goodbye to Bunny.”
One by one, each of your friends stepped forward to give you one last hug goodbye. Hyunjin and Felix squished you into a HyunLix sandwich while planting friendly kisses all across your face, causing you to giggle and squeeze them against you. Changbin then impatiently pulled you from their arms and literally swept you off your feet, spinning you around easily as he crushed you with his biceps.
Jeongin and Minho both settled for ruffling your hair and patting your head before wrapping you in a half hug and squeezing you gently to show their affection. You were surprised to find Chan tear-free as he stepped from Jo’s side, a complete one eighty from his drunken speech the night before. He wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your head, smiling proudly.
“Go kick some worldwide ass.” he whispered as he rubbed his hands up your back soothingly, no doubt trying to help ease the tension he probably felt in your shoulders.
The tears that were threatening to pool in your eyes suddenly appeared at the sound of his words, and you purposely wiped your tears on the fabric of his shirt. The sigh that left Chan’s mouth at your actions was funny enough to make you laugh but not enough to stop the sudden flow of water pouring from your eyes like a faucet.
“I’m going to miss you guys so much.” you whispered back as he planted a kiss on the top of your head and then let you go.
Seungmin was last, a giant pout on his lips as he stepped into your open arms.
“Please don’t forget about us, okay?” he asked. He sulked into your embrace, willing himself not to cry. You smiled through your own tears.
“I could never forget about you, Pup.”
At that, a single tear fell down Seungmins cheek. He quickly wiped it away with the sleeve of his oversized hoodie before flashing you a playful grin.
“I know that you’re with Seojun now and Chan-Hyung gave me strict instructions not to kiss you anymore but-”
Before you could even protest, Seungmin dipped his head and kissed your cheek mischievously before folding you in his arms.
“- I don’t care what that old man says. You know I live to break the rules, and if Seojun fucks up, I’ll break him.”
You nuzzled your face into his shoulder. Unlike Chan, Seungmin didn’t seem to mind the tears (and snot) that were staining his sweater. He just ran his hand through your messy hair and shushed you as you hiccupped.
“You’re a menace to society.” you whispered lovingly at him.
“I love you too Bunny,” Seungmin laughed before pulling away from you and holding you at arms length. “No more crying okay? Your makeup will run. We don’t want the resident trash panda making a return before she’s due overseas.” His hands cupped your face, thumbs wiping at your cheeks softly as he bent and gave you his best smile.
You snorted at his joke and smacked him lightly, trying to pull your face from his grasp while he laughed at your reaction.
“I’m kidding Bunny. You are going to kill it out there. Seriously. You have all of us behind you. If you need us, call. Any time.”
You nodded and gave him one last tight bear hug in return before you took a deep breath and turned to face the two you were dreading saying goodbye to the most.
When you turned to the girls, the waterworks went into overdrive. Together, Ash and Jo came forward to hug you, their chins resting on each of your shoulders as your arms wrapped around them tightly.
“I’m so proud of you,” Jo whispered, hiccupping through her words.
“We’re so proud of you.” Ash corrected her, her hand running up and down your back. You gave both of them a gentle squeeze and willed yourself to stay like that for several moments as reality sunk in.
This was it.
You were really doing this.
Never in a million years did you think you’d be saying goodbye to your friends and heading out onto your own tour without them, yet here you were. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous as hell, thinking about every possible thing that could go wrong and then some.
Who were you going to go to when you needed someone to proofread your next chapter if you couldn’t sneak into Seungmins room and bother him? Who were you going to bribe into late night ice cream dates when your mind turned to mush after staring at the screen all day if you couldn’t ask Ash, Changbin and Jisung? Who was going to sprawl out on the couch with you on your off days and watch k-dramas if it wasn’t Felix, Jeongin or Minho? Who was going to talk trash about reality television with you if it wasn’t Hyunjin, Jo and Chan?
Your heart felt heavy.
Jo must’ve sensed it cause her hand came up to hold the back of your head as she pulled away and looked at you, tears washing down her face.
“We’ll facetime every chance we get, okay?”
You let out a laugh.
“You don’t even use Apple, Jo.” you stated.
She rolled her eyes at you.
“Binnie and I stand by what we said about Samsung being superior.”
“Superior, my ass!” Felix called out from somewhere behind her. Jo twisted her head around and gave him a glare.
“Oi. You’re lucky I love you Frecks or I’d kick you off of The Freckled Friends Baking Show and have Binnie replace your apple-loving ass.”
Felix’s lip jutted out at Jo’s threat.
“Binnie doesn’t even have freckles! You wouldn’t dare!”
Jo flipped him off with a smirk. “Watch me, bitch.”
Another round of arguing ensued then, this one about which cell phone brand was better, and you resisted the urge to join them. As much as you loved your friends and their chaotic antics, you needed to leave, no matter how badly you didn’t want to at that moment.
“I’ll keep you updated on Ji.” Ash whispered as she pulled away from you. You thanked her and finally stepped away from the group. With your carry-on in one hand and your purse in the other, you gave your friends one last nod, one last smile, one last awkward wave before you turned your back on them and headed towards the security line.
You couldn’t help but turn your head back every couple of minutes as you waited in line patiently. Every time you glanced back at your group, they were smiling and waving and cheering you on. You were surprised the lot of you hadn’t been kicked out of the airport already for causing such a commotion.
You waved again when you reached the front of the line, the security guard taking your ticket and I.D and instructing you to unload your belongings into the bins to go through the machine, which you did.
It took you no less than a couple minutes to get through security unscathed and gather your belongings on the other side.
When you retrieved your phone from the basket you saw you had a couple unread messages from Felix. You smiled widely when you opened the messages to find Felix had sent you a handful of photos. A couple were of you heading towards the security line, while the rest of them were pictures of the group waving and blowing kisses goodbye.
You grinned and ran your hand through your hair as you stopped and glanced back up through the security gate. You had your hand raised and were bidding one final farewell to your group when a familiar figure caught your eye.
Low and behold, standing a few feet in front of your group of friends, staring at you through the line of people was the man you were waiting for. Dressed in dark sweatpants, a darker hoodie and a white backwards cap, Han Jisung frowned drunkenly as he waved goodbye.
———————————————————————————————-
Part Two is here, as promised!!!!
Thank you to everyone who’s read Part One so far, and thank you for coming back for part two!
This part was more or less a filler in order to get to part three. Part three will hopefully be posted this week!!
Thank you again!
As always, feedback is greatly appreciated!!
- Hann <3
Like a Volcano - Han Jisung One Shot - part one/?
Pairings: Idol!Han Jisung x f!reader x bestfriend!SKZ
** Includes two of my own original female characters that are romantically involved with two of the boys. Jo x Chan & Ash x Minho
Warnings: use of alcohol; swearing; sexual innuendos; (Let me know if I missed any!)
Word count: 9.3k
Enjoy!!
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Lately you’ve been feeling like you were the last of your kind.
You sat slouched back in a drunken haze, your eyes on yet another group of girls as they squealed annoyingly with one another. One of the females, a tall blonde with long hair and even longer legs, had just emerged from a dark room with a male idol you didn’t care enough to recognize.
The male removed himself from her side immediately and disappeared into the crowd of people that littered the large house, no doubt looking for his next target, while she was carried away by her friends towards a nearby bathroom. The girls all giggled and whispered in not-so-hushed voices, vying for the dirty details you doubt any of them would experience themselves.
You sent a hard glare to the closed door they locked themselves behind and took a long swig from your red solo cup. Even over the music and ever-growing chatter around you, you could still hear the flock of airheads screaming relentlessly in excitement for their friend.
Girls your age have always been so fucking dramatic and it annoyed the hell out of you.
“What’s wrong Y/N? Can’t handle a little competition?” a familiar voice cooed softly in your ear as the cushion next to you sank and a muscular arm hooked itself around your neck. Changbin planted a kiss on your cheek before taking the cup from your hand and chugging the rest of the liquid inside. He gave you a satisfied look at your drink of choice as he swallowed before tossing the empty cup onto the table in front of you. “I never pegged you for the jealous type.”
“Come on Binnie,” you joked, lazily turning your head towards him. “You know I put all those girls to shame.” It took a couple of seconds for your mind to catch up to your movements and you were left giggling at the delayed response of your own brain.
It’s been a while since you’ve been this tipsy and damn, did it feel good.
“You’re damn right you do.” Jisung hopped over the back of the L-shaped couch you were stretched out on and settled himself beneath your legs. He had two red cups in his hands and he handed one to you out of habit, which you happily accepted. “Those chicks don’t even come close to the level you sit on, Bubs.” he purred, his hand coming to rest on your thigh.
You smiled at his words, loving the way your ego grew as each syllable left his mouth.
“And that, my dear Sungie-” you leaned in towards him and flicked his nose. “-is why you guys are my best friends.”
Jisung gave you a wide smile in return and pushed his dark hair out of his eyes before he began toying with the strings that were hanging from the multiple rips in your black jeans.
“Because I’m devilishly handsome and put you on a pedestal not even God himself can reach?”
You let out a sigh and fell back into the side of Changbin’s body, resting your head against his shoulder for support and cuddling into the warmth his strong torso always emitted.
“Because you guys always lie to me so perfectly that I have no choice but to believe it.” you corrected him before chugging back whatever Jisung had filled your cup with.
You swallowed in disgust as the tequila burned the back of your throat. This was definitely going to be your last drink of the night.
Jisung just smirked at you, choosing not to respond to your words as his hand rubbed up and down your leg soothingly, absentmindedly tracing soft circles on whatever skin he came across.
Changbin, however, took immediate offence to your words, as he usually did, and wasted no time speaking out against your claims.
“Hey! We’d never lie to you, Bunny!” he protested, his phone momentarily forgotten as he frowned down at you.
You turned your head up to give him an expressionless look.
“Binnie, you guys literally lied to me last week about going to the gym.”
“No we didn’t.”
“Yes. You did.” you deadpanned. “I asked if you guys wanted to go and get ice cream, and the two of you claimed you couldn’t because you were meeting Chan for arm day.”
The two boys exchanged a look of confusion before shrugging their shoulders at you. You rolled your eyes at them.
“I literally caught you guys eating ice cream together, at the ice cream place, without me. Do you know how much I had to pay Jeongin to come with me that night? Dude doesn’t like to be rented out for cheap, I’ll tell you that much.” you muttered before taking another long, treacherous drink from the cup.
Changbin shrugged his shoulders again and gave you a guilty look.
“To be fair, Bunny, the last time we went out for ice cream together you ate half of my sundae.” he stated, as if that made everything better. You glared at him, resisting the urge to punch him in the arm.
“Yeah, because you ate half of my cone. In one fucking bite!” you bit back.
“Hey now, it’s not Changbin-Hyungs fault he’s got such a large mouth.” Jisung reasoned. Changbin took the opportunity to make the joke you knew would come the second Jisung spoke.
“I’ll show you something else that’s big.” he smirked at you, his eyebrow raised mischievously as he popped his chest. You rolled your eyes and let out a groan.
“You guys are pigs.”
Jisung frowned at you. “You’re so mean.”
“Says the ones who lied to me!” you shot back, trying to stop the grin that fell on your face as you pulled the pillow out from behind your body and threw it at Jisung. You loved bantering with these two. You sure were going to miss this.
Jisung caught the pillow with his one hand and threw his other up in surrender, nearly spilling his drink in the process.
“Okay, okay, we’re sorry! We did go to the gym, but decided to have some guy time before coming home. You know, just us dudes.”
You feigned offence, turning your mouth down into a frown and pouting at Jisung. You knew your actions would immediately tug at his heart strings, but you continued to push your lip out further for added effect.
“We’ve been best friends for nearly five years now. When did I get downgraded from one of the dudes to just some basic bitch?” You saw the way Jisungs face softened at your pout and you felt victorious, that is until Changbin opened his mouth and made you nearly spit your drink out directly into Jisungs face.
“Since Jisung realized he’d rather fuck your brains out than fist-bump you.”
“Binnie! What the hell?”
“Dude, come on. What the hell?”
You and Jisung spoke at the same time, your face twisted into a look of utter shock, while Jisung looked as if he wanted to beat Changbin to death right then and there.
“What?” Changbin laughed, smiling between the two of you as if what he said was the most natural sentence in the world. “I’m just saying.”
“You guys are pigs.” You repeated your earlier statement, rolling your eyes at him and squishing yourself into the corner of the couch.
“Maybe, but you love us.” Changbin said confidently.
“We’ll, that’s certainly debatable.” you retorted. Changbin just stuck his tongue out at you before pulling his phone back out of his pocket and going back to scrolling, indicating the conversation was done and he was satisfied with the havoc he caused.
You glanced over at Jisung, his face flushed with embarrassment as he chugged his drink back in one gulp. You were going to reach out to reassure him everything was okay and that you knew Changbin was only teasing, but just before your hand reached his, he jumped from his spot.
“Need another drink.” Was all he managed out before he disappeared into the crowd.
You glared over at Binnie. “Nice going, Bin.”
Changbin rolled his eyes in annoyance before standing up and straightening his clothes.
“I’ll go take care of it.” he muttered, shaking his head as he shoved his phone back into the pocket of his jeans. You called after him to be nice, but you doubt he heard you.
You took another gulp of your drink, finishing it off completely as Felix then approached the couch with a pout. His lower lip jutted out further than yours had and he looked incredibly cute.
“Aw, Lix, what’s wrong?” you asked, your hand now reaching out for him. His eyes were red and glassy, his blonde hair was slightly disheveled and he looked so disappointed in himself you thought he was going to cry.
“I lost against Minho-Hyung in beer pong.” He immediately took your hand and fell to his knees onto the couch before crawling up your body. He nuzzled himself in between your legs, his head resting on your soft stomach while his arms curled comfortably around your waist. Your one hand instantly ran itself through his slightly damp hair while the other rubbed his arm.
You smiled down at him as he propped his chin up on your belly, his frown growing impossibly bigger. You loved how much of a cuddle bug Felix was with you. It was so comforting and relaxing and nice.
“What did you guys bet on this time?” You questioned with a raise of your brow, knowing full well that Minho would never play just for the fun of it. Felix let out a whimper.
“My black Chelsea boots.”
You tried not to laugh, but the sound escaped you anyways, earning a groan from Felix as he shoved his face back into the fabric of your shirt.
“It’s not funny, Y/N.” he grumbled. You laughed again and patted his head.
“Oh Lix, my dear, sweet Soft Boy, this is your own fault for thinking you could beat Minho in any type of drinking game ever.” you joked, your fingers still running through his hair.
“I just wanted to see him drunk. He’s always the only sober one out of all us males. It’s not fair. And now I lost my favorite shoes because I was a fool.”
You laughed at Felix’ words. Despite him being annoyed and upset, his words came out in a delicate sigh as he relaxed into your touch. Running your nails up and down his scalp only made him sigh again and relax even more.
“Don’t worry, Jo will get them back for you.” You reassured him. Your eyes scanned the crowd until you found Jo standing over on the other side of the room with a soda in her hand, situated across the beer pong table from Minho. She had a mischievous look in her big brown eyes as Chan held her lovingly at the waist.
“In fact, I think she’s about to win them back for you right now.” you continued, watching Jo sink her ball into one of Minho’s cups on her first shot. Minho glowered at her like a delinquent as he proceeded to chug back his drink.
Felix lifted his head from your stomach long enough to glance back at the two of them as they faced off in the intense game of beer pong. He chuckled lightly before laying his head back down.
“She’s so brave.” he whispered in amazement. “No wonder Chan-Hyung loves her so much.”
You let out a laugh in agreement as your eyes stayed glued on your life-long best friend and her long-term boyfriend. They were disgustingly cute and it made you want to throw up and squeal in adoration at the same time.
You watched as Jo made another shot, sinking another ball, and Chan congratulating her with a kiss to the side of her head, her brown hair swaying as she laughed victoriously.
“She’s the only one I know who can go toe-to-toe with Minho and win.”
Felix laughed before curling his fingers into the back of your shirt, squeezing you tighter.
“I’m going to miss you so much, Bunny.” he whispered, his voice suddenly soft and sad. You glanced down at him and took in the look on his face. You could tell he was drunk from the way his eyes couldn’t quite focus on you, but you could also tell he was a second away from crying. Felix always got more emotional when he drank.
“I know Lix. I’m going to miss you too.” you murmured.
“What am I going to do without you for the next eighteen months?” he asked. He didn’t even give you time to answer before he continued on his rant. “Who’s going to play video games with me until three in the morning and then help me bake cookies afterwards instead of going to bed? Who’s going to cuddle with me like this while we watch our shows and tell me to shut up when I talk through all the important parts? Who’s going to go on early morning walks with me and watch the sunrise from the roof? Who the hell are Seungmin, Jisung, Changbin-Hyung and I supposed to flirt with now?”
You gave Felix a look of confusion at his last words, but he didn’t even glance up from where his eyes were now focused on the fabric of the couch. He just rambled on.
“You’re the last single female in the group you know. If we try to flirt with Ash, Minho-Hyung will threaten to kick our asses for just looking at his fiancée, and if we try to flirt with Jo, she’ll literally kick our asses. You’re the only safe, tame option available. What are we going to do?”
You let out a sigh at his words and gave his head one last scratch with your nails as you braced yourself for the conversation you knew you needed to have. As much as you loved the boys and their naturally flirty nature, you were now officially no longer single, and you needed them to know that their shameless flirting was doing more harm than good.
“Actually, Lix, about that. I’m not single anymore.” you spoke slowly, bracing yourself for his reaction. Felix’s head popped up at the sudden news, his eyes wide with shock.
“Wait, you and Seojun made it official?” You couldn’t tell whether or not he was grimacing at the news, but you gave him a hopeful grin regardless.
“Yeah, we did last week before he left.”
Felix smiled, though you noticed it didn’t quite reach his eyes the way it usually did when he was happy or excited. “Congratulations Bunny.”
You tried not to let his lack of enthusiasm affect you. “Thanks Lix.”
“Guess I should stop doing this then, hey?” Felix then awkwardly pulled away from you before you could stop him, repositioning himself so he was sitting on the couch with your legs stretched over his lap, much like how you were sitting with Jisung moments earlier. Though, unlike Jisung, Felix’s hands stayed on your knees and didn’t wander. You felt your heart drop at the sudden change in the atmosphere that surrounded you two, but chose not to comment.
Your new boyfriend Seojun never got along with Felix, or any of the other single males in your friend group for that matter. He made an effort to be friendly with Minho and Chan, as they were already happily taken, but he struggled to get used to the idea of you being surrounded by six single males twenty-four seven. Even though Hyunjin and Jeongin saw you more like a sister rather than a potential romantic interest, Seojun was wary of them too.
He was trying to be alright with the idea, you knew that and you appreciated it, but you also knew that he wasn’t going to get used to it overnight, so laying down a boundary with the guys was a must if you wanted this relationship to last.
Felix cleared his throat awkwardly and sent you a hesitant laugh when you glanced his way. “Seriously though, Bun, what are we supposed to do now if we can’t even flirt with our best friend?”
You rolled your eyes and cracked a smile at his question.
“Oh, I don’t know Lix. Maybe you guys should exert all the energy you use flirting with me into finding actual girlfriends while I’m gone?”
Felix granted you a look of complete and utter disgust, the tension that hovered in the air between you momentarily forgotten. “That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said to me.”
You sighed.
“I’m sorry Felix, but Seojun is growing less and less fond of you guys by the second, which isn’t good considering he wasn’t very fond of you all to begin with. Anytime you guys open your mouths and make a pass at me, he gets more and more agitated. You guys gotta stop, or at least tone it back.”
Felix let out a grunt. You heard him mumble something about trust and relationships, but just as you were about to question him, you were interrupted by the sound of the music being cut short and microphone feedback echoing loudly off the walls.
You and Felix, along with everyone around you, all jumped at the noise and looked towards where Chan was now hoisting himself up onto the DJ’s stage that sat in the far corner of the room, microphone in hand.
“Excuse me, can I have everyone’s attention please?” he spoke loudly into the mic. The bodies that filled the room all turned to look at Chan as he waved at everyone to quiet down so he could talk. “Guys, please, if I can have a moment?” he tried again.
Groups of party-goers began sauntering out of the kitchen while clusters of people sat down along the staircase and others emerged from rooms looking guilty and disheveled. You were always jealous of how easily Chan could captivate an entire room of people in a matter of moments.
Changbin suddenly plopped back down onto the couch next you, wrapping his arm around your neck once more while Jisung took a seat beside Felix. He looked a little less flustered now, but far more intoxicated than he was before.
Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin pushed their way through the crowd and came around the side of the couch, settling themselves at your feet with drinks in their hands, while Minho plopped into an empty chair across from you, pulling Ash into his lap as he did so.
In a matter of seconds, the entire room was quiet, watching Chan in awe as he flashed his dimples and began to speak.
“Thank you all so much for being here tonight. The guys and I could not have asked for a better turn out. I’m sure a lot of you thought that the kids and I threw this party to celebrate the end of our tour, but this party is actually a going away party we are throwing for one of our closest and dearest friends.”
When Chan made eye-contact with you and suddenly lifted his finger in your direction, you cringed and felt heat rise to your cheeks. Everyone’s head turned your way.
“Y/N, Bunny, would you please join me on stage?” He beckoned you to join him. You resisted an eye roll and sighed as you looked up at Chan, your face flushed. You did not want this to be such a big deal.
“Bunnnnnnyyyyy,” Chan teased, smiling at you expectantly. You shook your head and sent him daggers, begging him not to make you stand up in front of all these people. He didn’t let up though, and instead, he jumped down from the stage and pushed his way through the crowd towards where you sat, giving you a look that you knew all too well.
“Touch me and you die.” you threatened.
Jeongin and Hyunjin leaned out of Chan’s way once he reached the couch, and before you could fight back, Chan grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you to your feet. He immediately ducked and picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing at all.
He held you firmly with one arm, laughing mischievously as he turned and retreated to the stage, ignoring the way you kicked your legs and begged him to put you down.
“Put me down you fucking heathen!” You squealed, trying to wiggle out of his tight grip.
He didn’t set you down until he was back on the stage, this time joined by Jo, who made sure to give your ass a loud smack before your feet even touched the ground. You glowered at her, but she just smiled and winked at you in return.
She was your absolute best friend in the whole world, like two peas in a pod. She was the Ying to your Yang, the Sugar to your Spice, the Minho to your Jisung, so it was impossible for you to stay mad at her for anything, big or small. Still, you glared at her as she smacked your ass once more before she wrapped her arm around your waist and smiled proudly up at you.
“This girl right here is one of my oldest friends.” Chan announced then, putting his arm around your neck and leaning his head against yours. “She’s one of the coolest, most down-to-earth and loving people I’ve ever met, and tonight, we are celebrating her last night in town, as she leaves for her first ever European-American book tour tomorrow night!”
You felt your cheeks and the tips of your ears reddened as the crowd of people you mostly recognized but barely knew all erupted into cheers. A lot of them were other idols and groups that trained with Chan and the boys before debut, and they all looked genuinely happy for you, but there were a handful of those who you didn’t know, friends of friends you guessed, who cheered regardless just to feel included.
“This is something she’s been working towards for the last three and a half years! Not only is this her first book, and first tour ever, but Under Our Stars has just hit number two on New York Time’s Best Selling Books of 2022!”
Again, the crowd burst into cheers at Chan’s statement, your friends being the loudest and proudest of them all, and you fought back a wave of emotion that suddenly entered your body.
“She will be gone for the next eighteen months, so everyone, please, if you respect me and love me, please bid our Bunny goodbye and wish her luck on her journey before you leave tonight.”
Chan paused to grab his drink and raised it in the air.
“To Y/N!” he toasted, and everyone in the room toasted along with him. ”I am so proud of you Bunny. You deserve all of this. You’re going to kill it out there.”
You smiled awkwardly at the unexpected applause you received, trying to hold back your tears as you planted a peace sign to your dimple and gave the crowd a goofy grin in thanks.
Chan pulled you into a tight hug while the crowd continued to clap for you. You could hear Felix, Minho, Ash, and Seungmin scream your name as Hyunjin and Jeongin began clapping manically. Jisung and Changbin let out a ‘That’s my baby!’ somewhere in the background of the noise, but you were too focused on Chan and his now glossy eyes as you pulled back from his embrace.
“Christopher Bang Chan, are you crying?” you teased quietly, not wanting to draw attention to him. He all but nodded and buried his face into your hair, pulling you in for another tight hug.
“Y/N, you’re one of my closest friends. I’ve known you and Jo since we were in diapers. Writing has always been what you wanted to do, and you’ve spent your life working towards this accomplishment. You got to watch me and the kids live out our dreams, and I’m so excited that we finally get to watch you live out yours.”
The music started up again and people had gone back to what they were doing prior to Chan’s dramatic speech, but you were too awestruck by his drunken words to return to your spot on the couch with Changbin. You gave him a frown as the tears escaped his eyes, and you reached up with the sleeve of your sheer shirt to try and wipe some of them away before you hugged him one last time.
“I love you Channie,” you whispered. Chan sniffled once, twice, almost three times before crushing you into his arms, causing Jo to step forward and grab him as he cried.
“Okay Big Guy, let the girl breathe.” she rolled her eyes as she thankfully pulled Chan away from you. “We aren’t saying goodbye until we drop her off at the airport tomorrow. You gotta’ save your strength so you can hold me when I inevitably end up blubbering like a little bitch.” she soothed, the tears still falling dramatically down his face.
He didn’t even care if he looked pathetic. He was so happy for you.
“I’m just so happy for her,” he voiced, practically sobbing into his girlfriend’s shoulder. She shushed him and handed the microphone back to the DJ before wrapping her arm around him and pulling his large figure off stage.
You shook your head at him, thankful to have him in your life, before you jumped off the stage yourself and returned to your spot on the couch. People smiled and patted your back as you passed them, congratulating you on your success and wishing you luck, which you awkwardly thanked them for.
When you reached the couch again, you plopped back down in your spot beside Changbin, cuddling into his side. Felix had retreated to the floor with the other three, all four of them watching Tiktoks together, allowing Jisung to take his place under your legs once again. Almost immediately after you laid back, Jisung bent his body to lay next to you, his head resting on your shoulder as you pulled out your phone and began checking your notifications.
The rest of the night went by like this. You, surrounded by your closest friends, laughing and drinking and enjoying the last few hours of peace you’d have before your life turned into one big stressful puddle. A puddle filled with book signings, late flights, early mornings, meet and greets and more. And even though you acted as if the entire tour wasn’t at all a big deal, deep inside you were scared to death.
——————————————————————————————————–
You have always been enamored by Han Jisung.
Ever since you met him pre-debut, you knew he was the type of friend you’d inevitably have for a lifetime. His hard-work and dedication, his playful personality, his big brown eyes and gummy smile. The second he introduced himself to you at Chan’s backyard barbeque, you knew his presence in your life would be infinite.
Sure, he came across as an asshole during his time on the survival show, but you knew right away his attitude was nothing but a façade he had put up in order to protect himself, to mask the anxiety in his brain that never seemed to have an off switch.
But off camera, he was nothing but an introverted goofball who just wanted to be liked by everyone around him. He craved attention and praise, and as he and Chan and the other members who would eventually make up Stray Kids bonded, you and he bonded too, and quickly at that.
It had taken him no longer than two months to worm his way into your heart, and that’s where he snuggled up and stayed, taking up a permanent residence right next to Chan and Jo.
The two of you did everything together. Going out for food, clothes shopping, karaoke, late-night ice cream runs, bike rides, road trips, vlogging on your crappy phones for no one else except for you two to see. You helped him find beauty in the smallest of things, creating inspiration for his music, and he helped you see the world in a different light, bringing you inspiration for your book.
You two were quick to become the best of friends, the perfect combo, like peanut butter and nutella; loveable on your own but together, you were unstoppable.
You never could pinpoint the exact moment your fascination with Jisung grew into something more, only that it was after debut, when he really started to find himself. One day he was your best-friend, the next you looked at him as if he hung the stars, because for you, he did.
For you, he would.
Never in a million years did you think he’d feel even an ounce of something in return for you, and when he began bringing home random girls and disappearing into his room with them every Friday night, you knew you’d never be anything more than his best-friend.
But you were okay with that. The affectionate and loving friendship the two of you shared would suffice for the next one hundred years if it had to. You’d take him however you could have him, and if that meant watching him be happy with someone else, then so be it.
It took you a long time to get over some of your feelings for him; some days you still felt like you had a long way to go, but when you met Seojun at the most recent Authors Convention nearly five months prior to this fateful night, it immediately felt easier.
Suddenly, Jisung wasn’t invading every thought, causing a hitch in every breath, being the sole reason for every laugh that bubbled up from your throat. You loved Jisung more than you’ve ever loved anybody else, but with Seojun, it just felt easier to exist, and that was what helped your feelings for Jisung slowly begin to fade.
So, when Jisung wrapped his arms around your waist and snuggled his face into your neck in a drunken stupor, pulling you from your racing thoughts, your breath hitched in your throat, just like it always did. When he planted a soft kiss against your neck right below your ear, small enough for no one else to notice, you froze in place. When a soft whimper left Jisung’s mouth involuntarily, followed by a whispered plea, “Jagiya”, you thought your heart would stop beating right then and there.
Just like it did every time something like this happened.
Before you did something you’d both regret, you had to remind yourself that Jisung was intoxicated and just looking to get his dick wet, that he didn’t actually want you the way you wanted him.
A wave of guilt washed over you.
You knew you needed to tell him about Seojun. As much as you wished Jisung would do it again, you had to remind yourself of the romance you had decided to chase, a promise of a long-lasting relationship with someone who actually liked you back.
You weren’t about to throw that away for a one night stand you knew Jisung would regret in the morning when sobriety took over, no matter how badly a piece of you wanted to.
You needed to tell him, but this was not the time or place.
You gulped as your nerves sprung to life at the mere thought of the conversation, and Jisung picked up on your change in mood instantly. He lifted his head up to look at you in concern as a shaky breath left your mouth.
“You okay, Bubs?” he whispered quietly as to not draw attention to the two of you.
The house was emptying out slowly but surely as the clock drew closer and closer to midnight. A lot of the guests had early morning interviews and practices, so you didn’t expect anyone to really stay past one. But just because loads of people had already said their goodbyes and left, it didn’t mean there weren’t dozens more still lazily hanging about.
The music had dwindled significantly, leaving the room filled with nothing but noisy chatter. Chan and Jo were beginning their slow clean up, accompanied by Minho, Ash and Felix, but it still felt too crowded to have such an important talk.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” you gave him a reassuring smile, ignoring the way his hands ran up and down your sides. “Can we maybe go somewhere a little quieter? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
Jisung gave you one of his goofy, gummy-filled grins and nodded before pulling himself up and off the couch. He grabbed you by the hand, lacing his fingers with yours as he pulled you to your feet and dragged you away from the crowd.
“I’m actually really glad you asked. There’s something I’ve been meaning to show you and I think now is the perfect time.”
You were silent while Jisung pulled you up the staircase and down the hallway towards his bedroom.
“I finished this song yesterday and I really need your opinion on it.” he spoke again as he pulled you into his room and shut the door behind you. He guided you excitedly to his desk and pushed you down into his computer chair, ignoring the way you sighed at him as he opened his laptop and loaded up his music.
“Sungie, this isn’t really the ti-”
“Please Bubs? Please?” Jisung interrupted, a hopeful look on his face. “Please, I just need three minutes of your time and then you can have the floor for as long as you want. It’s really important to me.”
You couldn’t help but give in after seeing the twinkle of anticipation in his eyes. You always loved how excited he got over the tracks he made, and how you were always the first one he showed them to.
Sure, you knew almost nothing about producing music, just the basics you learned from Chan and Changbin, but Jisung always took your feedback seriously and worked his ass off to make sure each and every track was perfect.
“The working title right now is Volcano. It’s my favorite track yet.” he explained. He handed you his big headphones and helped you place them comfortably on your head before pressing play.
Jisung’s expression while he watched your reaction was a mixture of anxiousness, enthusiasm, and hope, and you knew by the intensity of his gaze that this wasn’t just another track he’d stirred up in a day’s time. He slaved over this track for months and your opinion and feedback alone would either make or break his decision to release it publicly.
The song was absolutely incredible. You never heard a song so raw, so passionate, so intense before, and you felt yourself get goosebumps along your arms and legs with every word.
You closed your eyes and allowed your entire body to get lost in the beat, the emotion behind Jisung’s voice overwhelming you so much that you found tears building up in the corners of your eyes as you listened to the melody, the tune, the lyrics.
It made your heart flutter and clench in pulses, and when that chorus crashed back into your eardrums one final time, you felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest and explode.
It was fucking phenomenal.
And then it was over way too soon.
Jisung was quiet while he watched you, smiling while he brought his hand up to wipe away the tears that managed to escape down your face. He waited patiently as you hit the replay button and listened to the song again, not once, not twice, but three more times.
Immediately, it became your favorite song he’d ever made.
After your fourth playthrough, Jisung waited patiently while you salvaged your composure, breathing through the emotions that had hit you like a brick.
“Sungie,” you whispered, shaking your head in amazement as you finally turned to meet his gaze. “That song is-” you trailed off, unable to even find the words to describe what you were feeling right now.
Despite the tears in your eyes and the proud look on your face, Jisung was still nervous.
“Did you like it?” he asked while wringing his hands together.
You let out a huff of laughter, shaking your head in disbelief.
“Like it? Jisung, it’s fucking beautiful. I loved it.” you told him honestly.
A breath of relief left Jisung’s mouth before his face fell into one of the brightest, cheekiest smiles you’ve ever seen.
“Thank fuck.”
Another laugh bubbled out of your mouth and you gave him a look of endearment.
“What? Was my opinion really that important?” you teased, knowing full well that it was. You were completely unprepared for the next words to slip past his lips.
“Well yeah, I wrote this song for you, Bubs.”
You froze in place, your eyes on his once again as your smile fell.
“What?” you asked.
Jisung’s grin grew impossibly wider, his eyes beaming with adoration.
“A fucking beautiful song for a fucking beautiful woman.”
You suddenly felt like you couldn’t breathe.
This is not where you wanted this conversation to go.
“Jisung, I don-”
You were cut off abruptly by the sound of your phone ringing loudly in your pocket. Confused and frustrated at the interruption, you pulled it out and felt a sharp pain stab through your chest.
Seojun.
Of fucking course it was Seojun.
“Shit, sorry Ji, I have to take this.”
You didn’t bother waiting for an answer before you jumped from your seat and paced towards the door, trying to keep your voice low. Jisung bit his lip and watched you anxiously, listening in to the one-sided conversation you were having.
He knew the second he saw Seojun’s name pop up on your phone that something was up.
“Hey Seojun…. Yeah, I’m doing good, still hanging with the crew… Yeah, I’ll be heading home in the next hour or so to pack… You know I procrastinate!… Well, maybe when I’m home we can facetime and you can help me?…. God, you’re so wonderful…. I’ll call you when I’m home okay?… You too…. Bye.”
Jisung tried to keep it together as he overheard you speaking in a low, hushed voice. He tried to keep cool, but he could practically hear his heart shattering as each word left your mouth. You and Seojun were no longer just friends, and all plans to confess his ever-growing feelings to you after pining after you for so long suddenly dissipated.
All the years Jisung spent trying to make you jealous, trying to get your attention, trying to make you see you were everything to him and more, was in vain. All his advances and relentless flirting had no effect on you.
You had found someone else.
It was game over for him.
Jisung felt ill.
“Sorry Sungie, wha-” you stopped short when you turned back towards him, noticing the way his head was now hung. His unblinking eyes stared at the ground as wetness pooled at the corners of them, causing panic to set in your bones.
“Jisung, what’s wrong?” He was picking at his thumbnail and didn’t even glance up when you spoke.
“I don’t want you to leave.” his voice was quiet and sad, and it shook slightly as he responded. He knew trying to convince you to stay was useless, but he was grasping at straws. He needed you to stay.
You frowned at his words and sat next to him in the chair, taking his hands in yours. You rubbed your thumbs over his knuckles, urging him to stop picking at his skin.
“I know Sungie. This next year and a half is going to suck, but we’ll survive it. We always do.” You reassured him. You were completely oblivious to the reason behind Jisung’s sudden change in mood, and it was making him feel worse. He hiccupped and a drop of water fell onto the back of your hand, followed by another, and you felt your heart crack.
Jisung was crying.
“Sungie, what’s wrong?” You asked him again, instinctively pulling him into a hug. His arms snaked around your waist without hesitation and he buried his face into your neck. You could feel his tears soaking your skin and you found yourself holding back a sob of your own as your hands ran slowly up and down his back.
“Please don’t leave me. Please, Bubs. I need you. I need you here with me.” he cried. He hated groveling, hated being weak like this, but he had to find a way to stop you from leaving with a man who didn’t love you the way he did. He’d do anything.
“Ji.” you whispered as you pulled back to look at him, brushing stray hairs out of his eyes as you wiped at his tears. “It’ll be okay. I promise you.”
Jisung shook his head and let out another sob before he did the last thing you ever expected him to do. He brought his hands up to cup your cheeks and pressed his lips against yours roughly, pouring every ounce of love and adoration he had for you into the kiss he’d been waiting years for.
His lips were warm, soft, and felt like heaven against yours, but the shock of his actions caused you to pull away from him in total confusion.
“Sungie, what the hell are you doing?” you asked, unsure how to process what had just happened. Jisung’s hands stayed glued to your cheeks as he pleaded.
“Please, don’t go. Not with him.”
You froze at his words. Dread and confusion turned your stomach to mush and you felt like you were going to throw up as Jisung continued to speak.
“He’s an asshole. He’s not good for you. I don’t want you to go with him. None of us want you to go with him.”
You pulled your face out of Jisung’s hold and leaned away from him, a look of betrayal and shock clear across your features.
“I’m sorry?” There’s no way you had heard him right. “What do you mean none of you want me to go with him?”
Jisung wiped at his face, trying to dry the tears that continued to pour out at your silent rejection.
“The only one who likes him is you, Bubs. The only reason we tolerate him is because Jo asked us to.”
You blinked at his statement, feeling another wave of confusion wash over you, followed by irritation and then downright annoyance. Your brain was honestly still trying to process the kiss you two shared, but your mouth was five steps ahead.
“What the hell is your problem?”
“Do you love him?” Jisung abruptly asked.
“Jesus Jisung. I don’t know! We haven’t even been dating for a whole week, you idiot!”
“So you don’t love him?”
He knew he was being an idiot now, sputtering out any type of bullshit he could to try and save this. He knew it was useless, but he always told himself he wouldn’t go down without a fight, and a fight is what he got.
“What the fuck dude?” You threw your hands up in exasperation, growling at his stupid inquiries. Jisung winced at your change in tone.
“I’m sorry Bubs. I don’t like him. He’s not good for you! You and I both know the only reason you’re with him is because he got you published.”
That was a low blow, he knew it. But the connection from his brain to his mouth was suddenly severed and all he could do was ramble, letting his emotions take control.
“Are you-? Are you saying the only reason I was invited to go on this tour is because of him? As if I couldn’t have done any of this myself?” you spat, feeling your anger boil. Jisung’s eyes widened as you misunderstood what he was trying to say.
“Jesus, Bubs, no, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just-” he paused and ran a hand through his hair, pulling on it roughly in frustration before letting everything out, rendering you speechless.
“I am so fucking head over heels in love with you, Y/N. Can’t you see that? I’ve been in love with you since before debut. I have spent years trying to get your attention. And suddenly, this asshole shows up out of nowhere and kicks me to the curb? I should be the one going on this tour with you, travelling with you, making memories with you, not him! I should be the one beside you, holding you while you live out your biggest dreams. It’s always been you and me.”
At Jisung’s sudden confession, a new wave of emotion overcame you. The anger, the annoyance, the irritation all drained from your body and you were left with nothing but tears pouring out of your eyes the same way they were pouring out of Jisung’s.
You had waited for so long to hear those words come from his mouth. You had dreamed of him confessing to you and kissing you the way he had so many times, in so many different ways, so why was your heart breaking impossibly more instead of soaring the way you always imagined it would?
Why was he doing this? Why now?
You let the tears fall down your face freely, not bothering to wipe them away. Jisung sat on the stool, staring at you with so much conviction in his big, beautiful eyes. Anger, sadness, adoration and love, regret, hurt. All of those emotions shone back at you and you felt every single one of them as if they were your own.
“Why are you bringing this up now, Sungie?” you whispered, desperately searching for reason. “When I’m less than twenty-four hours away from going on the biggest adventure of my life. Why?”
Jisung’s face softened as he reached forward and grabbed your hand. He watched you hiccup and sniffle while he rubbed his thumb over yours in an attempt to help you calm down.
“Because I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered.
If his confession didn’t throw you for a loop, this last sentence definitely did, and you found yourself jumping out of your seat, the bubble of anger suddenly returning.
“That’s bullshit Jisung! Are you fucking kidding me? I have known you and the guys for almost six years now. I have done nothing but support you and cheer you on from the sidelines while you’ve been living out your biggest dreams on stage, becoming the superstar you always said you were born to be. I have stayed up with you for nights on end, helping you make your mark in this industry, watching you create and produce beautiful music. I have stayed behind while all ten of you guys go on tour without me and I haven’t complained once because it’s been your dream, and now that I’m about to go live out mine, you’re telling me you don’t want me to go? Do you know how fucking selfish that it?”
You began pacing around the room, searching for something to punch while simultaneously trying to resist the urge to break anything you could find. Jisung sat planted on the stool, staring at you.
“I’m sorry.” he spoke low enough that you almost didn’t hear him. You did though, and his words caused you to whirl around on him once more, your face now covered in mascara-stained tears while every emotion you were feeling brought an unruly red to your face.
“No, you’re not! If you were really sorry, you wouldn’t have even brought this up in the first place! So why are you? Why now? If you’ve felt this way about me for as long as you’ve said, why now? Why not a month ago? Two months ago? A year ago? Three years ago? If you’ve loved me since debut, why haven’t you told me?”
Jisung’s face scrunched up into an expressionless laugh as he crossed his arms and gave you a skeptical look.
“Do you honestly believe if I had told you how I felt all those years ago, you would’ve had an ounce of feelings for me in return?” Jisung’s face was quizzical and sour, his voice dripping with a sudden poison as he glowered at you. He was oh-so impossibly wrong.
“Contrary to popular belief Jisung, yeah actually, I would’ve. I did.” you answered. In a split second, Jisung’s demeanor flickered, his eyebrows softening at your words and a puzzled expression found its way to his face.
“Wait, you what?” he asked in surprise. You hesitated for a moment before spilling out your own confession to him. You two were already this deep into the fight, there was no point in holding back now.
“Jisung, I have loved you since the moment I first met you. I fell in love with you after watching you work your ass off every damn day, doing everything you possibly could do to make sure you’d survive another week on the show. The hours upon hours of dedication and hard work you put into being the best version of yourself possible. Being the most vulnerable, unapologetically, truest version of yourself. I watched you fall and fail, and I watched you fail better. I watched you grow from this small, innocent little dickwad of a teenager to this confident and cocky grown ass man who oozes charisma and charm and happiness everywhere you go. I have loved you since day one, so don’t tell me I wouldn’t have.”
Jisung’s eyes widened at your confession, his eyebrows disappearing behind the hair that hung across his forehead. He choked out a breath, shaking his head at you incredulously.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
You swallowed roughly around the lump that still sat in your throat, willing your tears to stop.
“Maybe because I had to watch you stumble back into the dorms with a different chick on your arm every Friday night for four and a half fucking years! Yes, watching the one person I loved more than anything else in this world hook up with some random bitch who didn’t know the first thing about him really instilled a lot of confidence in me.”
You saw the way Jisung’s eyes fell at your use of words, and you had to force yourself to look away from his face before you changed your mind.
“Wait, loved? As in-”
“Past. Tense.” You lied, glaring at the Han Quokka plush that sat on his dresser. Another one sat directly beside it, wearing a pink shirt and a tu-tu, meant to represent you. Quokka Prince and his Quokka Princess.
“Fuck.” Jisung spat, bringing your attention back to him as he removed himself from the stool and rushed towards you. You glanced at his face and regretted it upon seeing a new wave of waterworks streaming down his puffy cheeks.
“No, no, no, no.” he begged quietly, his hands coming up to cup your face once more. “Please, Bubs, I’m so sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry. For everything.” He planted a kiss to your forehead and you restrained yourself some melting into the feeling. “Please, stay with me tonight, yeah? I can fix this. We can fix this. We can talk about this and figure it out. Please.”
You hated the way butterflies tore through your stomach as soon as his hands rested on your cheeks, his big brown eyes staring into yours in a way you always wanted them to. You hated the way your head tilted up towards his automatically, silently screaming at him to just kiss you again. You absolutely despised the way you trembled under his touch as the pads of his thumbs wiped at your wet cheeks.
You couldn’t. You wouldn’t. You would not let yourself do that to Seojun, and you sure as hell weren’t about to pass up the opportunity of a lifetime that waited for you, no matter how much he begged. You couldn’t. You weren’t going to throw away your dreams for him.
But with the way Jisung was holding you, it was nearly impossible for you to say no. Which is why you pulled your head out of his grasp once again and furrowed your brows together.
“You’re not listening to me Jisung.” you whispered, your head now falling forward as you forced yourself to break your best friend’s heart the way you always promised him you wouldn’t. “I don’t love you. Not like that. Not anymore.”
It was the biggest, filthiest lie that ever left your mouth, and for once, Jisung didn’t catch onto it. He didn’t hear the tremble that caused you to stutter over the words ‘I don’t’, and he sure as hell didn’t hear your heart shattering into a million tiny pieces as you spoke.
You stepped away from him and turned to leave. You needed to get out of this room, this house, before your emotions got the better of you and made you stay. You had an adventure waiting for you, you had fans to meet and books to sign and conventions to attend and memories to make, and you knew that if you stayed for even a minute longer, your resolve would break and you’d never leave Jisung or his room ever again.
“Where are you going?” Jisung’s broken and defeated voice was small, but you stopped in your tracks as if he’d yelled.
“I’m going home to pack my suitcase and then I’m leaving for my tour. If this is still something you want to talk about when I get back, fine, but you’re not ruining this chance or this relationship for me. I’ll see you at the airport tomorrow.”
You took another step towards the door when Jisung’s next words cut through you like a knife. His voice was hard, sharp and clipped.
“No, you won’t.” You knew if you turned back around, Jisung’s face would be that of a total stranger. Stoic, numb, emotionless. His words forced a sob out of your throat at his abruptness, but you didn’t dare turn around
“I’m sorry Y/N.” your name already sounded so foreign coming from his mouth, and it was then that you knew nothing between the two of you would ever be the same again. Chan always said the infamous Han Jisung loved hard and hated harder, and boy was he right. You could practically feel the daggers he was shooting into the back of your skull.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t say goodbye and let you run off with someone who doesn’t love you the way I do. I can’t let you run off and make the biggest mistake of your life. I won’t.”
You bit your tongue and swallowed hard, forcing tears back as your blurry vision found the polaroid picture of the two of you Jisung had sticking out from his lightswitch cover.
It was a candid photo Hyunjin had taken of you guys at the beach nearly three years ago. The two of you had your hands interlocked and you were dancing and laughing along the shore of the beach, the sun setting beautifully in the background. Neither one of you even realized Hyunjin took the photo until two months later when he gave it to Jisung as a birthday present.
It was your favorite picture.
The lump in your throat grew bigger as you ripped your eyes away from the memory, knowing you’d never get that feeling of happiness with Jisung again. Not after this.
“Fine,” you sniffled one last time at his harsh and hurtful words. “I guess I’ll see you next June.”
And with that, you left.
————————————————————————————————–
This is my first attempt at a one shot/fic so I hope you enjoyed it as I definitely enjoyed writing it!!
Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated!!
Part two will be posted sometime before the week is up (hopefully!)
Thank you for reading!!
- Hann <3
changbin being such a soft (???) dom like
he's eating you out and fingering you and making you feel sososo good but you're getting a little overstimulated and you're deep in subspace and you're whining and babbling to him that you can't take it and it's too much.
and changbin keeps going for a little while because he knows you can take it but when he sees small tears in your eyes, he'll sit up and let you catch your breath.
you guys have done this all before. he gets a little carried away eating your pussy, you get overstimulated, but he always stops when he sees those tears on your pretty little face. he hates to see tears on you.
he'll wipe the sweat from your forehead and press soft kisses to your forehead and cheeks and neck while you're coming back down. and when you do come back down, you'll look at him and you'll know he was right.
you'll feel your heart racing and you'll feel your pussy still aching for his tongue, his fingers, his hands.
you'll be so deep in subspace still, you'll pout and reach for his hands, trying to guide them back down to your aching cunt.
you could take it.
he knew you could and he'd be more than willing to give it to you.
pairing: lee minho x reader
genre: slight angst, comfort, fluff, established relationship
word count: 1.6k
prompt: “this—” [points at their chest] “—this belongs to you. always.”
a/n: helloo, this is a request from a while ago and i finally got the inspiration to write it. i enjoyed writing this small drabble a little too much and i hope you guys enjoy reading it! please let me know your thoughts on it!!
Minho was not usually pouty nor sulky when he was jealous. In fact, you had never seen him act like this before.
If anything, he would either snap, call out and even laugh at whoever was trying to make a move on you — or straight up shove them away, like he did when it came to any of his group members flirting with you just to get on his nerves.
This time, however, it was different.
If it were anyone else confessing to you right before he went on tour, he wouldn't have cared — he would've just brushed it off, maybe even laughed, and then he would've left with no worries, knowing you would be back home waiting for him and nothing would ever change between the two of you. But it wasn't just anyone else. It was his childhood best friend. The very one who also happened to be one of your childhood best friends.
Jongsuk had been there your whole lives, as you all grew up on the same street. He had been through it all. He had been there when you and Minho first started to crush on each other even before he became a trainee. He had been there when you had later on inevitably fallen in love, and when you first started dating. He had seen the ups and downs of your relationship through the years, especially the struggles that came with Minho becoming an idol.
He had even been there when Minho had gone on tour abroad for the first time, promising his friend he would take good care of you while he was gone. Because Minho could always be jealous of other guys coming near you, but he trusted Jongsuk with his life. So, he would always tell him to look after you when he had to leave for a couple of months. After all, he was the second closest guy to you.
And now, now that he was about to leave for tour after nearly two years of not leaving your side, now that he had grown more used than ever to have you with him and would suffer one hell of a lot when he no longer could, he had found out his dearest friend had confessed to you.
The only other guy who had been in your life all along, the one who got to stay back home with you while he was gone for months, had told you he was in love with you.
As soon as those words had left your mouth, he felt his whole world fall apart.
"Baby, will you look at me?" you pleaded once more, after getting nothing but silence from him as he looked around his room for his clothes.
It had been minutes now since you had filled him in on your friend's intentions, and you were yet to get any kind of word out of his mouth.
Biting his tongue not to say anything he'd regret, he decided to ignore you for a little longer — his mind racing and going through every possible scenario regarding you and Jongsuk, as he placed the recently folded black jacket inside the luggage he would be taking on tour with him.
You sighed, taking a step towards him and gently grabbing his wrist so he would at least look at you. "Minho…"
"I don't know what you want me to say, Y/N" he quietly spoke up, the look he had just given you being far from the loving one you were used to. "It's been over one week. He confessed to you over one week ago, I leave tomorrow for three months, and you are just now telling me about it. What am I supposed to say?"
"I… I'm sorry" your voice trembled. "I didn't want to worry you over nothing, because I feel nothing for him and I made it very clear to him, so I thought it didn't matter. But he's been insisting an—"
"He's been insisting," he let out a breathy, incredulous laugh; one that held no humor in it whatsoever. "Insisting. Great".
"It's not—"
"So what, he'll keep insisting harder once I'm gone? Once I'm no longer in his way?"
"The fact that you'll be gone doesn't mean he'll have a free pass with me".
"But I won't be here to physically make him back off!"
"It doesn't matter!" you exclaimed. "It doesn't matter, baby. I will tell him to back away. I won't let him get close, you know that".
Minho shook his head no, taking a shaky breath as his hands covered his face and he let his back slump down on the bed. He wished he could just open his eyes and realise it had all been a nightmare, that you had not actually told him his best friend was in love with you. But he couldn't. He knew the moment he removed his hands from off his face and opened his eyes everything would still be the same. So he didn't.
"Minho…" you pouted, lying down on your stomach next to him and tenderly grabbing one of his hands.
Although his other hand slipped down from his face right after, his eyes remained closed.
"He was supposed to be my friend".
"He is your friend" you mumbled, drawing gentle circles on the back of the hand you were still holding onto.
"He's not," his voice cracked, and your heart hurt. "He would never try to take you from me if he was, he knows how fucking much I love you".
"I promise nothing will happen…"
His chest moved up and down, a heavy sigh abandoning his lips. "He's always been there for you".
"So have you" you didn't hesitate to remind him.
"He's been there way more" he lamented, finally opening his sadened eyes and locking them with yours. "When I became a trainee and changed schools he was still in the same one as you, you would still go there together every single day. When I debuted you guys got in the same university, and now you get to go to all the parties together. Every time I went on tour he would stay here with you…"
"None of that matters to me" you reassured him. "The two of you have been in my life for the same amount of years. If I wanted to be with him I would've gone for it already, but I don't want to, and I won't ever want to. It's you the one I fell for, and you have been there for me in ways he could never".
"He could if you gave him the chance to" his eyes watered ever so slightly. "What if he keeps insisting when I'm gone and you end up realising that he is a better match for you than me. What if you fall for him, what if—"
"Shh," you hushed him, cupping his face in your hands and resting your forehead on his in an attempt to calm him down. "It's okay, baby. It's okay. We'll be okay".
"I don't wanna leave," he confessed, causing you to feel a pinch in your chest, as you had never seen him look so scared. "I don't wanna leave tomorrow anymore, not ever. I don't wanna lose you".
"What are you saying? You won't ever lose me" you tried to reassure him one more time, this one giving him a sweet smile and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. "You wanna know why?"
"Why?"
"Because this," you brought his hand to your chest, placing it right over your heart. "This belongs to you. Always".
He pouted cutely. "Are you talking about your heart or your b—"
"Lee Minho!" you called him out before he could even finish, earning a throaty laugh from him that made the burn in your cheeks feel worth it. "I'm trying to be wholesome here".
Minho trapped you inside his arms, pulling you ever so tightly against his chest and throwing a leg over your lower body. "I love you so fucking much".
"You already said that" your voice came out muffled against the fabric of his sweatshirt. "And I hope you know I love you more".
"Not more, but I know you love me".
You smiled softly, not having it in you to fight him right then. "Always," your lips pressed a small kiss to his jaw. "No matter how much Jongsuk or any other guy insists, no matter how many hours away you are from me… I will always love you".
"You promise?" he whispered.
You looked up to him — your eyes alone letting him know you were dead serious. "Of course I promise. I have loved you for nearly a decade now, I know nothing can change my love for you".
The previous sadness that had taken over his eyes was now replaced by pure adoration, smiling sweetly before he leaned down to press a tender kiss to your forehead. You couldn't help but let out a contented sigh, making yourself more comfortable on his chest.
"Tell me if he tries anything else…"
"Will do…" you promised, mindlessly tracing your fingertips up and down his bicep. "We should probably keep packing your luggage now".
He rested his chin on the top of your head. "What's the point if I can't throw you inside and bring you on tour with me".
You chuckled, playfully pinching his side. "Too bad I don't fit in it".
"Don't worry," he pulled you closer. "Next tour I'm buying a bigger one and you're coming with me".
Hi Hi this is my first time participating in one of these so please tell me if I did it wrong. But for the Prompt game number 2 could you do minsung and reader 24 and 48?? Or honestly anyone lol
Also I love your writing and I hope you’re doing well 🥰
SKZ Prompt Game
Prompts: "You're trembling."
"You make me want things I can't have."
Genre: Light Angst, Fluff, Light Smut
Members: Han Jisung, Lee Minho
Relationship: Established Minho x Fem!Reader x Roommate Jisung
Warning: Mentions of Nightmares, Cheating (but not really, you'll see)
"Lee Minho, are you asking me to babysit your roommate?"
Minho makes a little sort of disgruntled sound in the back of his throat, huffing a humorless laugh into the other end of the phone.
"He doesn't like to be alone."
You roll your eyes, toeing off your shoes and pinching the phone between your shoulder and ear as you head into the kitchen, depositing your work bag onto the counter.
"Jisung really can't handle staying by himself for two nights while you're gone? I do it all the time, you know. Every time you guys plan one of your little weekend guy trips." You huff out, though you're not quite as put out as your words would entail.
"Please, baby?" Minho pleads teasingly, his voice dropping in tone, into a whisper, in a way that he knows you can't resist. "For me?"
You sigh, long and hard, and you can almost feel your boyfriend smiling through the phone.
He knows he's got you.
And honestly, spending the weekend with Jisung won't be too much of a chore. You like him. And you both like to play video games, and eat pizza, and talk shit on Minho.
How bad could it really be?
"Fine." You grumble out, hoping Minho can sense your glare on the other end of the phone, just like you can sense his absolute glee. "But he's buying the pizza."
********************************************************************************
"Holy fuck, this is gonna be so fun!" Jisung announces, taking your small overnight bag from you almost immediately and chucking it onto the couch Minho had made you help him pick out months before.
You open your mouth to scold him, to say that hey, maybe some of your shit is kind of fragile? but before you can even get so much as one word out, Jisung has swooped you into a bear hug, squeezing all the air, and protests, right from your lungs.
"Thanks for agreeing to stay." He murmurs against the crown of your head, and you can't help it, you nod back without really thinking.
"Yeah, of course."
Jisung releases you with a huge, heart shaped grin, and you try not to notice how the cologne he wears-something a little bit spicy and lined with floral-contrasts so sharply, and altogether pleasantly, with the scent Minho always dons-dark and woodsy.
Minho appears, his work bag slung over his shoulder, his brow raised.
"Can you please refrain from greeting my girlfriend before me?" He queries dryly, glancing over to Jisung, before he leans over to press a kiss to your lips. "Hi, baby."
"No can do, hyung." Jisung grins, flopping down onto the couch next to your discarded bag, his long fingers pushing some of his dark hair out of his eyes. "Early bird gets the worm."
You laugh. "That doesn't even make sense."
Jisung's eyes glitter with amusement and he gives a little shrug.
"Sure it does. I'm the bird, you're the worm, and Minho-hyung is the cat who missed out."
"Cats don't eat worms." Minho mutters back, though there's amusement in his tone, as he leans in to give you another quick kiss.
He pats the pocket of his jacket, making sure he has his wallet and passport, and you straighten his button down shirt beneath as you give him a slight smile.
"Ready?"
He nods. "Yeah, I better get going." He glances to Jisung sternly. "Behave while I'm gone."
Jisung winks. "I always do."
Minho sighs with resignation and turns back to you, tilting his head toward the door and his waiting suitcase. "Walk me out?"
You nod, and he takes your hand, using his free one to grab the suitcase and open the door for the two of you.
"Bye, hyungie!" Jisung calls in a teasing sing song sort of voice as the door closes behind you.
Minho slows his step to match your own, glancing at his watch, and then squinting into the sun let in through the slats of the apartment walkway.
"Are you going to be late?" You ask, tightening your fingers around his own.
Minho shakes his head a little distractedly. "No, I'll be fine." He glances sidelong at you, and his expression grows serious. "Baby, about Jisung-"
You give a little laugh at the concern in his tone. "What? Think he'll eat me or something while you're gone?'' You arch a brow at him with a little smirk. "C'mon, baby, don't worry so much. Jisung and I are friends too, you know."
Minho sighs and rakes a hand through his hair, glancing past you. "I know. That's not what I'm worried about."
He pulls you to a stop, and the smile drops from your face at his worried expression.
"Min?" You ask, suddenly nervous for some reason.
Minho glances down at you, and reaches up to swipe a stray strand of hair from your forehead with a little smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"He has nightmares."
You stare at him, uncomprehending, and he squeezes your hands in his own, standing there in the middle of the hallway.
"Jisung. He doesn't like to talk about it, but he's been through some pretty messed up shit, and it messes with his head sometimes." Minho sighs, long and resigned, and a muscle ticks slightly in his jaw. You resist the urge to reach up and smooth it away.
"And when I say nightmares, I'm talking full fledged night terrors. Between the two of us, we've figured out some ways to deal with them, help them end more quickly, but he can't stand to be alone after they're over. Which is why I asked-"
"Me to stay with him while you're gone." You breathe out, finally putting the pieces together.
Minho nods. "Yeah. And I'm sorry to put you in this position, but he's my oldest friend, and I lo-" He stops for a minute, considering his words, and then continues. "-care about him."
You squeeze his hand. "I get it. I do. I'd do anything for you, so I understand how you feel the same way about Jisung."
Minho's expression lightens a little bit. "You do?"
"Of course." You smile up at him softly and lean up to press a lingering kiss to his lips. "And I promise, I will take good care of him, okay? Because no matter what you think, I care about Jisung too."
Minho smiles gently, and gives you another kiss. "I know you do, baby. Thank you."
*******************************************************************************
"Fuck, I'm tired." You stretch, pushing the blanket off of your lap and standing, grabbing the pizza box to throw it away.
Jisung looks up from where he's sitting on the opposite end of the couch, controller still held in his hand, eyes wide.
"Really? You sure you don't want to go another round?" Something mischievous glints in his eyes and he smirks at you. "Or are you scared I'll kick your ass again?"
"You couldn't kick my ass if you tried., Han Jisung." You retort back, sticking your tongue out at him. "But it's also one AM, and I haven't stayed up this late since I was in college."
Jisung grins back, bounding up to help you throw away the take out containers and soda cans.
"Well then, time for you to live a little."
"Jisung-" You start to sigh, throwing away the empty pizza box and turning to face him.
Your words die on your tongue at how close he is, you hadn't realized he'd come up right behind you while you were talking.
Your nose is almost brushing the tip of his.
Something weird swarms in the pit of your stomach as you stare into his large, dark eyes.
"Yes?" He questions back with the hint of amused innocent, his eyebrow ticking upward as he stares at you, staring at him.
You open your mouth to say something, anything-you should back up a few feet, or a hundred, I should go to bed right this goddamn instant-but nothing comes out.
Jisung cocks his head, and then he takes a step back, something unreadable going across his face as he laughs a little and finally drops your gaze.
"Yeah, you're probably right." He acquiesces, still not looking at you, the air between you awkward now. "It's late. We should hit the hay."
The forced casualness in his voice has something heavy settling into the pit of your stomach.
"Yeah, yeah-" You stumble over the words, desperate to get out of the kitchen and away from him suddenly. You skirt along the wall, trying to increase the space between you as you give him a forced smile. "-see you in the morning, Jisung."
Jisung opens his mouth, as if he's about to say something more, but you hightail it out of the kitchen and down the hallway to your room, locking the door before you can give yourself the chance to find out what it was.
********************************************************************************
You don't know how long you've been asleep when you're woken by a thud against the wall Minho's room shares with Jisung's, and the sound of something, or multiple somethings, crashing to the floor.
You give your heart a moment to stop pounding in your chest, listening for any more sounds, and when you don't hear anything, you creep from Minho's bed and down the hall.
Standing outside Jisung's still closed door, you hesitate only briefly, before you raise your fist and knock softly.
"Jisung?" You call out quietly, waiting for a response. When there is none, you try again. "Jisung?"
There is the sound of shuffling from inside, and then it falls silent again.
Gathering your courage, you push open the door silently, and stare into the darkened room, letting your eyes adjust for a moment.
There's Jisung's bed-empty-his bedside table-clear of all items, including his lamp and alarm clock, now in a pile on the floor-and then-
"Jisung." You whisper, and without thinking, you hurry across the small room, crouching down in front of him.
He's huddled in the corner farthest from the bed, his comforter pulled up like a hood around his head, curled in on himself for safety.
You can tell, even in the lack of light, that his knuckles are white where they hold the blanket too tightly against his body.
"Jisung." You repeat, because it's the only thing you can think to say in this moment. You cautiously reach forward to touch his hand. "Are you okay?"
He stares at you for a moment, as if confused that you're here, in his room, in front of him, and then he shakes his head, as if to clear his brain of unwanted thoughts, and gives you the fakest half smile you've ever seen.
"Y-yeah-" He stutters out, eyes large and dark and a little too shiny in the dark.
You close your fingers around his own, and his entire body shakes beneath your touch.
"You're trembling." You murmur worriedly, watching the way his muscles shudder beneath the safety of the blanket, as if his body is in fight or flight.
It probably is from what Minho had said.
"It's an after effect." Jisung mumbles back, dropping his gaze from your own now, as he stares at your hand still covering his own. "Of the nightmares."
You feel helpless, crouched before him, unsure of what to do, watching him shatter before your eyes.
You swallow, and reach up your fingers to shove aside some of his thick dark hair, damp with sweat, from his eyes, and he stares at you for a moment, expression doubtful.
"What can I do?" You ask in a whisper, scooting a little closer to him, pressing your thigh up against his, hoping the bodily contact will comfort him a little. "Minho didn't tell me how he usually helps, but-"
Jisung's eyes widen a little, his lips pulling down into a grim line. "Minho told you he helps me with the nightmares?"
You give a little shrug of your shoulder, confused. "Well, yeah, he wanted to make sure I knew what to do while he was gone. And he cares about you."
Jisung stares a little longer, and then he looks away, clearing his throat.
Slowly, one by one, his fingers uncurl from around the blanket.
"I think I'm okay now." He admits softly, a slight wobble in his voice that belies his lie. "But, if you could just sit with me for a little bit? So I'm not alone?"
He glances back to you hopefully and you instantly nod, sliding so your back is against the wall beside his, body pressed close.
"Of course I can, Jisung. Always."
********************************************************************************
The next night, the nightmares are worse.
You're woken up by the sound of terror, and without having to think, your feet fly down the hallway and into Jisung's room, finding him writhing on the bed, tangled in his blankets.
"Jisung, Jisung!" You shake him a little, trying to pull him back from the brink of his own mind.
He stops writhing, staring at you blankly-or through you more accurately-and the dead expression on his face and in his dark, usually expressive eyes scares you.
Without thinking, you climb into the bed and lie on top of him, pressing your body heavily down onto his own.
You'd read somewhere that having another person's body weight on top of you helps with panic attacks, so why not nightmares?
You're out of your depth, you don't know what the hell you're doing, but you have to do something, have to bring Jisung back.
"It's okay." You whisper, reaching up to cautiously start stroking his hair. "It's okay. I'm here. You're here."
Jisung's muscles are tense beneath your own, his whole body still shuddering from the after effects of the horrible nightmare, but slowly, beneath the weight of your own, the violent shudders die down to silent trembling.
"It's okay." You just keep murmuring over and over and over, like a mantra, filling the space between the two of you. "It's okay."
Jisung takes in a deep breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly beneath your own, and carefully, you raise your head, meeting his gaze, your fingers stilling their movements on his hair.
"I'm sorry." He murmurs out, voice hoarse and shaky, a single tear creeping from the corner of his eye and down his cheek.
"Don't be sorry." You reply back softly, resuming your combing of his hair and he leans into the touch, like a cat seeking the security of affection. "It's not your fault."
"Yeah, but Minho, and you-" Jisung starts, taking in a shuddering breath, his body convulsing beneath your own.
"Care about you a whole fucking lot." You finish for him resolutely, daring to come up on your elbows now that the majority of his shuddering has worn off, meeting his gaze firmly. "You have nothing to apologize for. We wouldn't be here if we didn't want to be."
Jisung holds your gaze for another moment and then nods, looking away. "Okay."
"Okay." You repeat, before you suddenly realize that your body is still flush with Jisung's. You shove yourself up on your hands, face going hot. "If you're okay then-"
Panic comes across Jisung's face and you freeze, his body once again going instantly tense beneath your own as he grabs your upper arms in a vice like grip.
"Please don't leave."
You stare down at him, pleading silently with you with large, dark, scared eyes, and you finally nod, settling back down on top of him again, elbows propping you up so you can see his face.
"Okay, I won't."
You study him for a moment in the dark, the slope of his nose, the full swell of his bottom lip, the doe eyes hidden beneath long, dark hair.
Without really considering, you reach out and trace his lips softly with the pad of your thumb.
Jisung freezes beneath the touch, and you feel your cheeks heat once more as you move to pull away.
"I'm sorry-"
Jisung's fingers loop around your wrist, keeping you in place, your fingers hovering just over his mouth. His lips part, and you can feel the warmth of his breath wash over your fingertips.
The sensation sends a tingle down your spine.
"You make me want things I can't have."
His voice is so soft that you think you've misheard him, and confusion washes across your face, the words jostling together in your brain in a way that doesn't make sense.
Maybe he's talking about you and Minho? About a relationship?
"What? Me and Minho?" You question back dumbly, still trying to piece together what he's just admitted to you.
"Yeah." Jisung says softly, gaze still never leaving your own, breath still washing over your fingers. "You. And Minho."
There's something behind the words, the way he repeats it after you, and suddenly, it clicks into place.
You laugh a little, you can't help it, and Jisung looks caught off guard.
"Jisung." You say his name like a sigh, like you're releasing a secret you've kept for ages. "All you have to do is ask him. Minho fucking loves you. I've known forever, but I've been waiting for him to bring it up."
Jisung's eyes grow wider. "Minho loves me?"
You nod. "Yeah." Something quiet and sad colors your tone as you stare at him, the boy you both secretly want, the boy Minho could have if he just said the word. It's not so simple for you. "I see it in the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you."
"And you're okay with that?" Jisung asks, slight doubt filtering into his tone.
You huff a laugh. "Yeah. I love Minho, and he loves me, but he also loves you, and I'm not opposed" You give him a slight smile. "I can share."
Jisung takes in your words for a moment, and then he releases his hold on your wrist, letting you sit up fully this time, scooting away from him on the bed.
He heaves himself up, untangling himself from the blanket. "What about you?"
His question catches you off guard, and you shrug slightly. "What about me?"
Jisung's face pinches slightly. "Well, I-"
You give a humorless little chuckle, glancing to him now. "You don't have to say it, Jisung. I don't have to be part of this equation. It's okay."
The words hurt your heart, but you remain stoic.
Jisung stares at you for a long, everlasting moment, and then he inches closer to you, taking your face in his hands in a bold move.
You suck in a surprised breath, but hold still as he studies you.
"I bet Minho likes kissing you."
You stare back at him, trying to puzzle out where this is going, but you're tired of thinking, so you just say back, "Yeah."
Jisung lets his thumb drop to trace your mouth, like you had done moments before to him, and his gaze falls to the part of your lips underneath his touch.
"And you like it when Minho kisses you."
You stare back at him, heat pooling in your stomach the longer the staring contest, the gentle touches, go on.
"Yes."
Jisung cocks his head, giving you a little knowing look, and then he leans forward, and it takes everything in you to freeze, as his lips brush across the column of your throat.
It's like electricity has shot through your entire body, igniting the warm pool in the pit of your stomach into something ravenous.
"Do you like it when he kisses you here?"
"Yes." You whisper back, and Jisung hums in acknowledgement, moving his lips lower against your skin, pulling your t-shirt to the side so he can press open mouth kisses to your shoulder.
"And here?"
"Mmhm." You murmur back,breathless.
Jisung glances up at you, a slight smirk pulling at his full mouth.
"And what does Minho like?"
"He likes-" You think for a moment, it's a hard feat with Jisung's lips on you. "-when I tangle my hands in his hair."
You let your hands slide into Jisung's thick, dark hair, tugging him closer to you, back up to your mouth, his lips hovering over your own.
"What else?" Jisung breathes out, his gaze flicking down to your tongue, darting out to wet your lips.
"He likes me in his lap." You murmur back, and before you can overthink it, you straddle Jisung on the bed, knees going down on either side of his hips, hands going to his shoulders.
Jisung leans back on his hands and he's staring up at you now with open hunger, pupils large and dark.
"And I bet you like it when he puts his hands here."
He lets his hands slip beneath your t-shirt, taking purchase on your hips, fingers digging into your skin.
You nod, it's becoming harder to think the longer this little game goes on.
"I do."
Jisung hums, smirking up at you once more, tilting his head as he watches you.
"Although-" You tease, reaching out to play with them of his own t-shirt. "-he's usually not wearing so many clothes when we do this."
Jisung grins, and with one smooth movement, easily pulls his shirt off and over his head, tossing it to the floor.
"Better?"
"Much."
"What else?" Jisung prods, and you're more than happy to accept his challenge.
"He likes when I kiss him-" You lean in, and after a breath's hesitation, press your mouth over Jisung's.
Fuck, he tastes amazing, and he's so pliable, so responsive, sliding his tongue in between your lips almost instantly, making you gasp into his open mouth.
You pull back, just a sliver, just enough to say, "-and when I use teeth."
You lean back into him, and suck his full bottom lip between your teeth, letting them graze the plush skin slowly as you release your hold.
Beneath you, Jisung shudders in response, and you can feel him hardening beneath you.
"I bet he likes when you're a tease." Jisung replies breathlessly when you pull back, pupils large and dark, lips red and slick. "So fucking hot."
"He does." You smirk, arching a brow. "And he also likes when I grind down on him."
You give him your weight then, lowering yourself fully into his lap, grinding your hips on him, and Jisung groans, throwing his head back, as his eyes roll back into his head.
"Fuck-" His hands on your hips pin you down, stopping your movements, and he pants for breath for a moment before opening his eyes, his expression hot.
"You like feeling him, like feeling what you're doing to him."
His words send molten heat straight between your thighs, and you whine a little at his hold, pinning you in place.
Jisung smirks, releasing you, before he reaches to slip off his sweats.
Your mouth waters as he's bared completely before you.
You've never stripped out of your own clothes so fast.
Moving back to straddle him, Jisung groans at the feel of how wet you are against his skin.
His fingers go back to bruising your hips, and his own buck up beneath you.
"God, I bet he loves feeling you, seeing you take him."
You nod, manuevering yourself, and stare down at him for a moment, the large dark doe eyes, the slight pant of his open lips.
Jisung is fucking pretty.
But you knew that already.
"He does." You confirm, voice breathy, as you feel him against you. "But he likes it most when I take him all at once."
Without warning, you sink down, and Jisung's eyes once again disappear into the back of his skull.
His fingers grip you painfully, and you whimper, but it's a sound of pleasure, as he groans and focuses back on you, leaning up to capture your lips in a bruising kiss as he starts to move.
"Fuck, Jisung-" You gasp out, stars bursting before your vision.
The second his name leaves your lips, you freeze.
"I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"Don't." Jisung growls, tugging you in for another rough kiss, his words and breath searing your skin. "Don't ever apologize for saying my name. I want to fucking hear it on your lips for the rest of my life."
He lifts his hips against your own, kissing you hard, and you gasp, and you know, there's no going back now, not ever.
"Jisung."
********************************************************************************
You're lying next to Jisung in the small space of his twin bed, staring at the ceiling, completely and utterly spent.
Your body is deliciously sore, and his hand in your own is a comforting weight.
You can't help the small smile that crosses your lips as you hear him shift beside you.
There's a flare of guilt deep in your gut, but you shove it down to deal with later.
"Hey." Jisung whispers, rolling over to flop his arm across your bare waist and brush his lips across your neck.
You meet his gaze. "Hey."
He smiles shyly at you, fingers playing with your own.
"I think Minho really likes you."
You stare at him, a small smile crossing your own lips. You lean forward to press a kiss to the corner of his heart shaped mouth.
"I think I really like him too."
********************************************************************************
You're drinking coffee at Jisung and Minho's small kitchen table when Minho gets home, tossing his work bag onto the couch and coming directly for you.
"Hey, baby." He leans down behind your chair, encircling you with his arms, and you smile, tilting your head back so he can reach your lips.
"Hey."
"I missed you." He nuzzles his nose into your cheek, and you give a little laugh.
"I'd forgotten how clingy you get after a work trip, Lee Minho." You tease, reaching up to brush hair back from his forehead as you give him another quick kiss. "I missed you too."
"Watch it." Minho growls teasingly, tickling you before he gives you another kiss and straightens up.
Jisung appears then, headed directly for the cabinet for his own mug to fill with coffee.
"Hey, where's my hello kiss?" He pouts, staring at Minho, as he fills up his coffee and comes to sit beside you at the table.
Minho arches a brow and stares him down. "Do you deserve one?"
Jisung gives him a sweetly innocent smile. "Always."
You swallow a too large gulp of your hot coffee, and suddenly wonder when you should break the news to the man now getting his own glass of the morning beverage.
Luckily, Minho beats you to the punch.
"So." He says casually, leaning against the counter and glancing between the two of you, sipping from his mug. "Did you two finally fuck then?"
You choke on the liquid in your mouth, and Jisung promptly spits his own mouthful of coffee across the table in a fine spray.
"What?" You both shriek at the same time, staring at Minho.
He appears completely nonplussed, holding both of your astounded gazes with nothing more than a shrug.
"The two of you. Did you finally get over your weird stubborn guilt complexes and fuck?"
You stare at him like he's grown a second head.
Jisung narrows his eyes from across the table, staring down your boyfriend.
"Wait-" His voice grows with disbelief. "-did you plan this?"
Minho gives another little shrug, but there's a smirk on his lips that he hides behind his coffee mug as he takes another sip.
"I did have a work trip. Just turned out the timing was impeccable."
"I cannot believe you." You gasp out, feeling a mixture of outrage and relief all at once.
Minho knows. He knows, and he's okay with it. Actually, more than okay, he'd been gunning for this to happen by the looks of it.
Minho grins, flashing sharp teeth.
"C'mon, baby. You and Jisung are too stupid and loyal to figure it out on your own. I needed to give you a little push."
"But-" You splutter out, trying to decide if you should take offense at his words and punch him or promptly cross the kitchen and kiss him. "-you're one to talk! You've been in love with Jisung for forever!"
"Yeah!" Jisung points at you, as if you've made a hell of a point, and then to Minho. "When were you gonna make a move, hyung?"
"Han Jisung." Minho says sternly, pinning the other man beneath his gaze. "I don't give up sleep for just anyone."
Minho puts his empty coffee cup in the sink and crosses to you, placing his hands on your shoulders, still staring at Jisung.
"Look, I needed the two of you to figure it out on your own, but I also needed to orchestrate it so you both knew I wasn't upset. Quite the contrary actually." He smirks and puts a hand under your chin, raising your gaze to his. "You have my blessing."
"I'm literally so pissed right now. You're an asshole, hyung." Jisung mutters, glaring at your boyfriend, tapping his finger on the table. "But that's also so fucking hot."
You swallow beneath Minho's hand, and he notices, smirk growing wider.
"I hate you."
His brow ticks upward. "No, you don't."
You sigh. "No, I don't."
"So." Minho releases you and tilts his head toward his discarded luggage on the couch. "Unpacking can wait. Care to show me what the two of you figured out while I was gone?"