I Say This With Love And On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown From Watching Beginner Cooks Who Don't Know

I say this with love and on the verge of a nervous breakdown from watching beginner cooks who don't know better yet: ALWAYS turn your pot and pan handles in so they aren't hanging over the edge of the stove

even if you don't have children or pets who might hit or grab the handles, it just takes one moment of it catching on your shirt or your hip bumping it in passing to send a bunch of hot food and oil right at you

two days until october. time to actually finally start working on my kinktober fics lol

[guy who has been waiting all his life] bro what I need to do is find the opportune moment to land a single perfect strike, like I just need the perfect timing to pull off one direct hit and then the problem would be gone forever, boom, like it's insane how easy it'll be once the circumstances finally align and the hour is right, you guys have no idea,

I hate people who call me. I don’t have a phone so you can reach me, I have a phone so I can read fanfic on the bus.

imagine a skeleton. obviously this is already blowing your mind. now imagine he had a gun

Oh wow, they made him sound like such an old man.