I Say This With Love And On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown From Watching Beginner Cooks Who Don't Know

I say this with love and on the verge of a nervous breakdown from watching beginner cooks who don't know better yet: ALWAYS turn your pot and pan handles in so they aren't hanging over the edge of the stove

even if you don't have children or pets who might hit or grab the handles, it just takes one moment of it catching on your shirt or your hip bumping it in passing to send a bunch of hot food and oil right at you

literally so fucking embarrassing to have a favorite character bc it will have you sitting there thinking things such as "omg he experiences the 5 senses" and "omg he wears clothes and feels the texture of them on his skin" and "omg he eats food and tastes it" and "omg he sleeps with his eyes closed in a bed with sheets" Like be honest should i just kill myself at this point

“characters in fic are too good at identifying scents” is officially an “his eyes did not literally darken” level of complaint to me now like it’s about the drama it’s about the romance it’s about atmosphere it’s about taking you to a heightened version of reality!!! please suspend your disbelief at least enough for vibes-based sensory descriptions it will be So Worth It i promise

from that day on I was his

what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while! 🙂" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now

I hate people who call me. I don’t have a phone so you can reach me, I have a phone so I can read fanfic on the bus.