Perfect Classic Eclairs

Perfect Classic Eclairs

The Best Coconut Loaf Cake

I winnn

Jokingly pats self on back

English muffins

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INGREDIENTS:

1/3 cup + 3Tbs raisins or sultanas

2 tsp/7 grams active dry or instant yeast

1 cup/125 gms whole-wheat flour

1 cup/125 gms cake flour

½ tsp baking (bicarbonate) soda

½ tsp fine salt

4 Tbs/60 grams butter (divided)

½ cup/120 ml plain yogurt (or Greek-style yoghurt)

½ cup/120 ml milk

2 tsp honey

A sprinkle of semolina flour or fine polenta

INSTRUCTIONS:

Pour boiling water over the raisin and allow them to plump up for about 5 minutes then drain and set aside.

In a small bowl add the yeast to 1/3 of a cup (80ml) of warm water and allow it to dissolve for 5 minutes.

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I think I'm in love

around when I first started dating my boyfriend i bought myself this novelty blanket that looks like a photorealistic tortilla because I am SUCH A SUCKER for novelty shit. when he saw it in person for the first time his eyes lit up, which should have been a warning sign for the indignities to come.

so he’s a first responder and his day shifts start obnoxiously early as far as I, a pampered corporate asshole, am concerned. almost invariably when he’s at my place there will be an alarm at an hour that is downright unconscionable that will make him wake up and roll out of bed to get ready and will simultaneously make me burrow under the pillows grumbling about how surely nobody actually NEEDS their lives saved this early in the morning, after which I will promptly attempt to go back to sleep

he is a clever man and he knows this is when i am most vulnerable to attack.

every single time we do this dance, he quietly dresses, packs up, goes about getting ready to leave, and then when i have juuuust fallen back asleep, he returns with the tortilla blanket. He finds it no matter where I have hidden it.

He then creeps silently up to my side of the bed and uses his superior speed, strength, and reflexes to wrap me up in it incredibly tightly while i am still dazed and sputtering, so that i cannot move my legs or arms and am reduced to humiliating halfhearted magikarp flops that do not deter him from at least attempting to kiss my forehead.

then he goes to my bedroom door, opens it, then pauses, turns around, looks at me, the soft human filling of the facsimile of an enormous burrito he has just constructed, and says in his best romantic lead voice “I’ll see you soon, beans.”

you cannot understand how devastating it is to my ego that i am beans.