It's Really Weird Having A First Dog Be Blind And Then Getting A Second Who Can See...like How Was I

it's really weird having a first dog be blind and then getting a second who can see...like how was I supposed to be prepared for this.

this creature can perceive when I put the treats up on the high shelf. or when I hide stuff behind my back. I can't fool her!! she's always watching me and she shouldn't have this much knowledge!!!

I walk around at night and I shine my flash light directly into her eyes and I'll just be standing there staring at her weird blue orbs for like 5 seconds until I realize it's probably extremely annoying to her, because she has eyes!! I'll turn on the light in the room and she gruffs and grumbles like ?? oh right!! light wakes you up!! the fuck??

Can you imagine how absolutely wild it must have been for Eliot's students in The French Connection Job? Like, you come to this overpriced class that you don't really care about and your teacher is a 5'5" angry wall of muscle who can spin a knife faster than you can see and tosses your phone in the water when you text during his class. But he only looks physically pained and moves on from the geek grinning over the laser so he's probably not gonna kill you? Probably?

He's a hardass, though, like the ultimate of hardasses and he has definitely killed before, so, you know, be careful.

But then you glue a unicorn horn ice cream cone to a plate and he physically crumbles like he cannot believe you are this stupid.

Oh and he and the geek definitely know each other. Only someone you care about could physically embarrass you that bad at your work. And the geek clearly knows something you don't because he will propose the stupidest ideas just to get Chef Scary Guy to growl in his face with a knife and stay grinning the entire time like he knows he's safe.

Okay, so maybe this chef's actually a marshmallow? Like a crusty one, but sometimes you'll do something right and his face will just light up with pride and you get this wave of relief. So maybe he's gruff for show and wouldn't actually hurt anyone.

Then opening night comes, and it's chaos, and at one point a guy walks in and without looking up Chef Scary Guy tells him to leave if he isn't gonna help. And almost faster than you can watch the guy is out cold on the ground and Chef is stepping over him shouting that he needs a medium steak and you don't have the time to process this cause it's the dinner rush. This happens two more times. There are three guys unconscious in the corner of the kitchen and the man who put them there is patting you on the shoulder and beaming with pride at how you roasted those veggies and just ...

Wild. Absolutely wild.

I'm sure Nate isn't homophobic - the show makes it pretty clear that all his catholic guilt is directed firmly inwards and we never see even a hint of disapproval over others' personal lives - but he's still an older white guy and definitely defaults to cishet assumptions.

Which makes me desperately want, like, a 5+ type fic of gay flirting for the con where Nate progressively gets his mind blown.

Because Sophie flirting with a woman might throw him for a beat or two, but she's a world class grifter and an actress, of course she can flirt with anyone

And then Parker had to be taught how to flirt in the first place and she's Parker so sure, she's completely faking it either way, she has no internal biases, okay

The first time a man chats up Hardison and the hacker reacts exactly the same way he does when he tries to flirt with women, Nate is so glad Sophie takes over the comms to give flirting advice because it takes him half a minute to recalibrate and edit his expectations

But then Sophie's failing to hook a mark and Elliot steps in without missing a beat, flashing his farm boy smile, and Nate is finally like, "how is it that I'm the only one here who's surprised by any of this?" and the team just shrugs and goes "idk that sounds like a you problem"

The +1 is the only time Nate attempts it and they all agree to never try that again because it was awkward and embarrassing for everyone involved

The rest of the thread is here.

tl;dr: Don’t monetize AO3, kids.  You won’t like what happens next.

Showing 'Anticipation' in Writing

Fingers tapping rhythmically on a surface.

Shifting weight from one foot to the other.

Checking the time frequently.

Eyes darting to the door or window expectantly.

Taking deep, excited breaths.

Biting the lower lip in nervous excitement.

Rubbing hands together eagerly.

Whispering, “I can’t wait” to themselves or others.

Fidgeting with objects, like twisting a ring or playing with a pen.

Heart pounding with eagerness.

Perking up at any noise that might signal the anticipated event.

Smiling slightly, as if imagining the future moment.

Knees bouncing up and down while seated.

Glancing at their phone or watch repeatedly.

Clutching a piece of clothing or accessory tightly.

Standing on tiptoe to get a better view.

Ears straining to catch any sound.

Swallowing nervously, throat dry with excitement.

Humming or softly singing to pass the time.

Practicing a speech or action they are looking forward to.

Okay, this might sound cruel, but stop sending me asks begging me to donate to your go fund me. I will not do it, nor will I post it. You will be blocked immediately for two reasons: #1, I can't tell if you're an actual person or a bot; #2, I think it's incredibly rude to jump into a strangers ask box and demand/beg for money. It's not cool, and I don't like it.

Stop.

This is your one and only warning.