The Villain Laughs. The Chosen One Cannot Spill Blood On Holy Ground. I Have Won! You Draw Your Blade.

The villain laughs. “The Chosen One cannot spill blood on holy ground. I have won!” You draw your blade. “The Chosen One died the first day of our journey,” you say. “A Valet may spill blood where he pleases.”

There is no way that this valley girl, who is charged as your bodyguard, is one of the top ten deadliest assassins in the world.

Of all the princes from all the nations from all over the continent at her coming of age gala, the crown princess chooses you, the knight commander’s son.

A young villain tried to mug you, but upon seeing your face, he fled in terror. Upon further investigation, you discover that your high school sweetheart is now the most powerful villain in the world and has you on a list titled “hurt them, and I’ll kill you.”

You have healing powers, but the way they work is unconventional. You call it “percussive-maintenence healing,” because in order to heal someone, you have to punch them in the face. You have tried other methods in the past, and they simply don’t work.

You accidentally started a cult, and now your made up deity is living with you.