When I Was A Kid, The Oh My God, You Got So Big! Comment From Grown-ups Used To Really Annoy Me, Because

When I was a kid, the “Oh my god, you got so big!” comment from grown-ups used to really annoy me, because it felt broadly infantilising. But now, as an adult myself, I realise it had very little to do with me, and almost everything to do with said grown-up feeling suddenly attacked by the passage of time, yet not wanting to blurt out “shit, fuck, I just pissed away like four years of my life without noticing, then, huh?” in front of an 8-year-old.

“May I?” “You may.”

I think I'll just rant about this so tw for transphobia and some swearing ahead

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I'm SO damn sick of people defending JKR. From the "It wasn't that bad" to the cis(!) people saying "What she said wasn't transphobic", fuck all of that.

And fuck cis people making it all about themselves when trans people talk about how harmful JKR is.

The first person I ever came out to as non binary was my best friend at the time. Not even a week later she talked to me about how much she loved Harry Potter and all. Which was fine by me, she's allowed to like whatever the hell she wants, I can't police her.

However, personally, it makes me uncomfortable to talk about JKR's stuff cuz her views just bother me. So, I just said "Sorry, but I personally try to stay away from Harry Potter and JKR in general because she's a terf".

Cue: Cis person making it about themselves.

"Oh so you say I'm transphobic?" "Harry Potter meant a lot to many people when they were younger, do you just want to take that away from them?" "Stop calling me a TERF, I'm not." "You're really overreacting here."

Mind you, I never once said that the people who like Harry Potter hate trans people. I just said I don't like JKR because she's a TERF.

She went on to defend the life out of it like "It's not gonna change that much if I support it anyway" "It means so much to me, I don't wanna just stop consuming it" "Just separate the art from the artist" "Well, I can't control my hyperfixations" all that stuff that you constantly hear from people trying to justify themselves.

There was no "I acknowledge that JKR is bad and while I still want to enjoy the series, I try to do so in a way that doesn't support her" or anything. In the end, I was the one apologizing to my friend because I dared to "imply she's a bad person".

And it's not even just her who acted that way - every time I see someone criticize JKR, the comments are flooded with these people getting defensive and angry at the person speaking up about it.

It's incredibly tiring when I as a non binary person have to constantly apologize for making cis people uncomfortable just because I try to speak up against a TERF - not against them, just against JKR.

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I'd like to also take two points that are constantly being raised because they're starting to get tiring.

"Separate the art from the artist", "death of the author" and "Hatsune Miku wrote Harry Potter":

It isn't that damn easy. Death of the author doesn't work because JKR is still alive and well, and probably will be for at least another 15 or so years. That woman is only 56 years old. She's gonna be around for a while. And for that time, she will continue to profit off every cent you spend on official HP merch, on her books, her movies and games. You keep giving her a platform that she can continue to use for her blatant transphobia.

Additionally to that, you don't need me to tell you that her transphobia isn't the only issue with her and her works, because lots of people from those groups have ready explained the racism and antisemitism in a far better way than I ever could. You can't entirely filter out her harmful views. You can't separate art from artist because that means you'll stop critically consuming her works because "well Hatsune Miku wrote those books so it's nothing bad." No. If you HAVE to consume her stuff you better acknowledge that it's not all sunshine and rainbows and be honest with yourself.

"It's my hyperfixation, I can't control that":

I want to make it clear first that I'm ND myself. I know how hyperfixations work. I know it's not the same for everyone.

That being said, stop using you being ND as an excuse. It's not.

Because unless your hyperfixation is "Giving money to transphobic people", the same applies to you - You don't have to actively give her money. You're allowed to have your hyperfixations, but being ND doesn't mean you can't consume content in a responsible way.

Please read this!

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