+ + Jimin

💎 + 🐕 + Jimin

Sentence: Is she better than me?

Mafia + Hybrid AU. Minor angst and major fluff!

---

"Is she better than me?" You wonder quietly from your spot on the small couch in his office, immediately making him stop any movements at his desk.

"What?" He asks, unsure what you're getting at as he lifts his gaze to look at you.

"She.. His hybrid was trained with, you know, guns. She can protect herself and even him too!" You whine almost. "She's a proper guardian.. you know. She's what a German shepherd hybrid was supposed to be like." You continue, feeling his eyes on you. "Not.. soft and weak like me." You finish your rant, silence swallowing the room whole for a good moment.

"Come here, love." He sighs, moving his chair a bit away from his desk as he pats his thigh as an invitation. You take ot, albeit a bit hesitant at first, unable to properly look at him.

He's quiet, one of his hands keeping you steady while the other pushes the hem of your dress down your shoulder, thumb running over three dot-shaped scars. "You're very soft, that's true." He smiles before leaning forwards to kiss the scars, adjusting your dress properly again right after. "But you're not weak. You've protected me too, after all." He reminds you, and you shrug.

"I didn't really do anything though.." you argue weakly, making him softly smack your back once.

"You looked those people straight into their eyes and didn't move at all." He recites the past event. "You were my little heroine that day. Without you, I wouldn't be here." He tells you, and you shrug.

"But- don't you get tired of always making sure I'm fine?" You wonder, and he laughs, kissing your forehead.

"Never."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Can you please do an idol jk fanfic that he used to date experienced and older girls in the past but can't help to fall in love with younger and innocent girl love you

sum ; jungkook falls in love with the most innocent person he's ever met

wc / genre ; 1.1k, fluff, f2l

pair ; idol!jungkook x reader

saisy ; thank you for requesting this! it was a really cute idea! i hope i did it justice!

Jungkook put on his jacket before turning to you and giving you a small wink. You giggled and sent one back.

Something in his heart fluttered but he wasn't sure what it was. It wasn't the first time either. Throughout the days you've been with him on his tour his heart has been fluttering.

He first told Jimin about it but that was no help. All he received was, "You like mature and older girl not innocent ones."

But Jungkook knew something was different about you. You would spend days reading a book and playing on your phone. Sometimes doing your make up and finding new clothes to wear.

You definitely wouldn't be stuck under him and squirming around while struggling to say his name. You just weren't like that.

You never even had your first kiss. Never been touched, except hugs but that's it.

Jungkook first met you at a small cafe. The cafe was full and there were no seats. He was a bit hesitant to approach you because of his fame but he did anyway.

You welcomed him and made sure he had enough space to sit and enjoy his coffee. Jungkook admired how you cared for people and how you didn't mind someone sitting by you.

You listened to his performance and enjoyed the song. You knew all the words, swaying left and right to the beat. You felt comforted by Jungkook's voice.

The rest of the boys went on stage leaving you with the staff. You didn't really talk to them so you went on your phone and scrolled through it while enjoying the music blasting through the speakers.

Soon the boys were back after the concert finished. You got up and helped Jungkook change his clothes and get cooled down. He was sweating so much, it made him look hot?

You swallowed your spit and looked away from him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" You inhaled, looking at the floor. "Nothing." You never had that thought before.

Sure Jungkook was handsome but the thought of you calling him hot was different.

"Let's go to dinner, hm?" You nodded but stopped when he grabbed your hand.

"We're going to dinner." Jungkook told the staff. The staff looked at you before nodding and letting him go.

Jungkook took you to his hotel room. It was the most secure and private place he knew of. You weren't nervous because you didn't think anything would happen.

But...

Jungkook said he would shower and then order some dinner. You were fine with it until he walked out the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips.

No shirt or pants.

You looked away with blush painted on your cheeks. You felt the bed beside you shift.

Thinking he put some clothes on you turned his way. You gasped when you were met with his chest in your face. Again heat rushed to your face.

Jungkook cupped your face and brought his close to yours. A tiny whimper left your mouth as you got nervous.

"Nervous?" You felt his breath fan over your lips causing a tiny desire to feel his lips on yours. But, you couldn't. He was a famous singer who had many fans and you, you were just a sweet innocent girl.

"Jungkook we shou-" but his lips beat you. They felt soft and heavenly. Something about the kiss ignited something in you. It was something you never felt before.

In the heat of the moment, you accidentally bit his bottom lip. You pulled away, embarrassed that you messed up and that he would be upset.

"Hey." You looked at him embarrassed. "It's okay, hm? You... uhm... never kissed anyone before. It's a common mistake."

The comment made you blush even more. You threw yourself into his chest and filled with heat. You felt like you were on fire and no matter how much water you poured on it, it wouldn't blow out.

"I have to go." You said quickly and grabbed your bag. The embarrassment was too much for you.

"No!" A stopped midway and looked at Jungkook. He looked desperate. There was something you had never seen before.

"I I- you can't go." You looked at Jungkook confused. "Why?" Jungkook stood up and grabbed your shoulders. He looked at you firmly before taking a breath.

"I haven't done what I was gonna do."

"And what were you gonna do?"

Jungkook gulped. He looked nervous. That was something you never saw Jungkook be. It was unlikely to be nervous around you.

"I was gonna confess my love for you."

And... your world became bright again. Your heart fluttered in a way it never fluttered before. Butterflies were flying in your stomach. Your face was red like someone grabbed red paint and spread it over your face.

"What?" You wanted to make sure you heard him right. You couldn't have, right?

"Look, you don't have to be with me but I love you. The day I met you I fell in love with you. The way you smiled, talked, and made sure I was able to enjoy my coffee in comfort. I normally went for more mature girls but something about you caught my attention. All the other girls wanted was to be under me, but you didn't. You read books to me and asked me which clothes I liked better. You made me fall for you and now I can't stop thinking about you."

You were more than surprised. You didn't think a celebrity could and would fall in love with you but you guess you were wrong.

"Jungkook I-" Jungkook pecked your lips once more before turning away.

"As I said, you don't have to love me back, I just wanted you to know."

But, you wanted to love him back. You wanted to share kisses with him and make sure he was cared for.

"But I do." Jungkook stopped his pacing around the room. His back was still towards you. "I do want to love you."

Jungkook turned slowly around. His whole body was visible, you tried not to look but it was hard. You closed your eyes and sighed.

When you opened them he was right in front of you.

"You love me?" You nodded. Jungkook brought his hands to your cheeks again and brought his face forward. You thought he was gonna kiss you again but instead he kissed your forehead.

"I love you too." You let out a giggle. "Tell me something new."

Jungkook smiled. "Your lips aren't virgin anymore." The sudden realization hit you. Another red layer crept up your cheeks again. A pout fell on your lips.

Jungkook pecked it before pulling your body to his. "Can we stay like this for a little bit?" You nodded and cradled him in your arms.

feedback is welcomed! 💌 💞 masterlist 💞

thank you for requesting! i honestly can't thank you enough 💖

© jukoo 2023

I'm in love 😭

Even Though

Pairing: Hoseok x reader

Genre: friends/FWB(?)-to-lovers, smut

Summary: Hoseok comes running every time you call, even though he knows you don't want the same things. Unless, of course... you do?

Word count: 7.4k

Content: alcohol consumption/drunkenness, oral sex (m. and f. receiving inc. deepthroat and face-sitting), unprotected sex

A/N: It's almost Hobi's birthday, so have a repost because I won't be writing a new fic for it lmaooooo! This one has had a bit of an edit and I think is much improved for it tbh; I was always quite fond of this one (esp for having written it in one sitting between midnight at 2:30am lmao) but I've added a few bits and changed the ending so it feels a little more ~realistic I guess. I've also (I hope) knocked out the bajillion typos that I had left in it before whoops! anyway, enjoy!

* * *

You turned, huddled into a corner of the club, carefully cradling your phone against your cheek as if that would, in any way, block out the noise. The voice at the other end was quiet, groggy.

“Hello?” 

“Hoseok?!” you shouted into your phone. “Hoseokieeee! Can you hear me?”

“y/n? Are you ok?”

“No! I miss you! I miss you so much! I wish you were here; no one else is any fun. Can you come out, please? Come out and playyyyy.” 

You swayed on your feet and had to brace yourself against the wall with one hand, staring pointedly at a chip in the paint, studiously focusing on it, trying to get it to stop swimming in front of you, doubling and twisting before your eyes. 

“y/n, I was sleeping-”

“No! No sleeping! Come and play with me, Hoseok; I want to play.”

“How drunk are you?”

“Hardly,” you said with a snort, almost tripping over your own feet. “I’m basically fine, actually. I don’t even really feel drunk anymore.”

“Are you with people? Who are you out with?”

“I’m at work!”

“No, who are you out with?”

“Work! I’m at work with club at the people.”

“You’re at a club with people from work.”

“That’s what I said. But I don’t care about them... I just want you. I miss you. I want you. Please come out. Please, pretty please a thousand times.”

“Is someone looking after you?”

“Noooo. No one looks after me like you do. You’re the only one. You’re my favourite. Of all everyone, you’re my best one.”

You didn’t hear him sigh, didn’t see him rub his face with his free hand, staring up at the ceiling, facing off with the inevitable. He would come and get you. Of course, he would. That’s what he did. He’d come and get you and take you home and tuck you up in bed and leave water and painkillers on your bedside table and you’d tell him how much you love him and how much you miss him and you’d list everything you like about him and then you’d pass out and wake up in the morning and say you couldn’t remember what you said the night before. The texts would be right there in your phone but no one would mention them. Hoseok didn’t know if your amnesia was real or feigned but it didn’t really matter either way. 

He knew this is what would happen, and he knew that it would slice through his heart like a knife, but he agreed to come and pick you up anyway. Like always.

* * *

“Hoseok-y! Ho-socky and mittens! My yang-mal and jang-gab-yyy. You came!” 

You stumbled over to his car and made grabby motions at him through the open window. He got out and walked to the passenger side, opening the door for you and helping you in. You grabbed at his jumper and pulled his face close to yours. You sprinkled kisses all over his face as he tried to extricate himself from your clutches and return to the driver’s side. 

“-ease please please please please,” you were saying as he sat down, shut the door, and buckled his seatbelt.

“Hm? What do you want?”

“I want to kiss you, please!”

You took his hand in yours and kissed the back of it with a loud, noisy smack.

“Not while I’m driving.” 

“Plleeeeaaassse,” you insisted, leaning in as close to him as you can. “If I ask really, really nicely?”

“Not while I’m driving, ok? It’s dangerous.”

You groaned, frustrated, and threw your hands in the air. The world whipping by so quickly outside made you feel dizzy and then, suddenly, tired. The kind of drunken tiredness that was like an unexpectedly strong wave that knocks you into the sea, pulls you under. If you didn’t lie down now, immediately, you thought you would pass out. So you fumbled down the side of the seat for the lever to adjust the angle and flew back with an anguished wail when it tipped all the way backwards. 

“Are you ok?” Hoseok asked, eyes flicking briefly in your direction before returning to the road.

You were kicking your feet in the air, pressing your shoes against the roof of the car. 

“Hey, don’t do that,” he said softly, tapping your leg gently, encouraging them down.

Hoseok was just glad you weren’t trying to kiss him anymore. 

* * *

“Daisy, daisy, give me your answer, dooo,” you sang, with little consideration for your neighbours, as Hoseok half-carried you to your front door. “I’m half-crazy all for the love of you!” 

He carefully propped you up as he unlocked your door and helped you inside. As he shut the door, you took his face in your hands and continued.

“It won’t be a styyyyylish marriage! I can’t afford a carriage-”

A squeak interrupted your song as he lifted you, carrying you to your bed.

“But you’d look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle made for two! 

“Have we ever gone bicycling, Seoky? Can I ride a bike? I think so... I don’t own one, though, but we can rent them, right?”

You blathered on as he took off your socks and pulled the clips out of your hair and hung up your jacket.

“Come here, please!” you called for him as he brought you a stack of reusable cotton pads and your make-up remover. You took both from him and chucked them on the bed, then pulled him down next to you.

“I love you,” you cooed, rubbing your nose against his. “I love you I love you I love you.” 

You flopped back, head against the pillow, and dragged him with you. 

“I think you are the most best, probab- Stop it! Stop it!” You swatted at his hands as he tried to wipe your make-up off for you. “I don’t want you to do that. I want you to kiss me, please.” 

He turned his head as you reached for him and you kissed his cheek and his temple and his brow bone. 

“Hoseok-y, why don’t you want to kiss me?” You were whiny and pouting and your big, shining eyes were boring into him.

“You’re drunk, love.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you are.”

“But I still want to kiss you!”

He gently, but firmly, took your hands from his face and held them by your side. 

“If you want to kiss me that badly, you can wait eight hours and kiss m-”

“Eight hours?! No, I can’t wait eight hours! I can’t wait even eight whole seconds!” 

He wished more than anything that you weren’t drunk. He wished that you would be sober, sober and still this keen, still this loving. He knew wishes didn’t come true. 

You sighed, growling at the end, frustrated and pouting and pretending to be angry. But you did, at least, stop trying to kiss him.

“I just love you, that’s all,” you said, as he lay down next to you.

You turned on your side and pressed your finger against his bottom lip, flipping it up and down. 

“My name’s Hoseok,” you said, as if he were your ventriloquist dummy. “And I’m so pretty and I’m so smart and I’m so kind and I’m the best person in the world but I won’t let my girlfriend kiss m-”

Girlfriend. There was that word again. You wouldn’t dare utter it sober, and nor would he. He distinctly remembered the time he tried to get you to agree to a ‘date’ and how badly that went, so he wouldn’t dream of even thinking that word in your presence. But this wasn’t the first time you’d drunkenly referred to yourself as his girlfriend. Which was what made this all the more difficult for him. Somewhere, in whatever walled-off section of your mind (and heart), you were his; you were his girlfriend and you loved him and you were willing to let him love you. And the key to this little cage was, apparently, copious amounts of alcohol. So, you went out and you drank too much and you called him up and he came running because he loved that you need him, loved that he was the one you called even in the middle of the night. And you called yourself his girlfriend and he pretended for five minutes that it might really happen. 

“Just go to sleep, ok?” he said softly, tucking your hair behind your ear, pulling the covers up over you. 

“Not if you’re going to leave me.”

“No, I’ll stay. I’ll stay here.”

“Good.” 

You waited for him to lie down and then flung your limbs over him, holding him close to you, fisting his T-shirt. He kissed the top of your head and waited for you to pass out. 

* * *

You woke, in the morning (later that same morning), thick-headed and dry-mouthed. You chugged the glass of water Hoseok left on your bedside table, finishing it before you could reach for the painkillers, which you opted to dry-swallow and then immediately regretted doing. You unlocked your phone and grimaced as you noticed the time: it was 7am, which meant you’d been asleep for all of three hours. You felt ghastly but, somehow, also wide awake. You scrolled through your phone, looking through your fingers at the messages you sent last night. There were so many. 

You: Hoseeereeokkkkjjyyyy.

You: are ayou sleep?

You: I msiss you so mchu. I wish you wer hreeeeee. 

You: if u coome, I wlll love youf roever. 

You felt movement from the other side of the bed and rolled over, away from the embarrassment of your phone, to see Hoseok standing up. You watched him as he put his phone in his pocket, ran a hand through his hair once, twice, then turned around.

“Oh, you’re awake.” 

“Catching you in the disappearing act this time.” 

You sounded annoyed, but you weren’t really sure why. Just hungover. Probably.

He smiled and you wondered why he looked so shy. He was usually gone before you woke up, at least these days. Maybe he actually was embarrassed to be caught running out on you. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

You shrugged. 

“Like I drank an entire bar and then had three hours’ sleep.” 

“You should sleep it off; it’s still early.” 

You didn’t know what compelled you to ask, didn’t know why now was the time, but you didn’t have the capacity to filter your thoughts from your mouth.

“What’s the point of you staying if you always run off so early?” 

He blinked, taken aback. He replied slowly, hesitantly, almost reluctantly.

“You don’t like it when I overstay my welcome.” 

It was such a specific turn of phrase, you could hear a bell ringing distantly in your brain, as if you’d had this conversation before – though, if you had, you didn’t remember having it. 

“You don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn, though, just to get away from me. You can sleep in; you were also up at 4am so I’m hardly going to kick you out at 7.”

You thought he looked as if he was biting something back; his face was heavy with all the things he wasn't saying and you felt frustration settling on you, slowly taking the reins. 

“I don’t know why you bother, to be honest,” you told him, your lack of sleep and excess of booze making you sound meaner than you really intended. “Why get up, pick me up, take care of me and then just disappear? What’s in it for you if you don’t even stay for breakfast?”

“Well, it’s the only time you’re ever really nice to me, so...”

It hit you like a slap in the face.

“What?”

“What?” he threw back. 

“What do you mean it’s the only time I’m ever nice to you?”

“You and I both know what I mean. Take a look at your phone if you’re confused.” 

He turned and, after a second’s pause, started to walk out of the room.

“Hey!” you called after him. “You can’t just say that and leave! Come back here!”

He looked at you from the door and you almost didn’t recognise him; you realised you’d never seen him angry.

“What do you want me to say? We both know what this is. This...”

He floundered, looking for a word, betraying the fact that, actually, neither of you knew what this was, what had become of you.

“I want more than you will ever want; that’s a fact. I want what you can’t or won’t give me. I made my peace with that. But then you call me in the middle of the night and you tell me that you want me and need me and that you miss me and you love me and I come running every time because I know you will never say that to me sober, will never look at me in the cold light of day in the same way you look at me in the small hours of the morning. Maybe I shouldn’t. In fact, I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself. That’s what I mean.”

Without another word – not that you could’ve managed one anyway – he turned on his heel and you heard the front door slam shut. 

He wasn’t wrong. You knew. You didn’t want to know but you knew. It had always been complicated between the two of you. 

* * *

A mutual friend introduced you because he thought you would like each other and he wasn’t wrong. But you hadn’t expected him to be so right; you were entirely unprepared for Hoseok. Entirely unprepared for the most perfect man to just waltz into your life and lay himself at your feet. You weren’t ready for that. You thought you would meet a guy who was basically fine (hopefully a little better than fine); a guy who would be fun for a few dates, good for a casual sort of arrangement, nothing serious. You thought you could see this guy and continue to sow your wild oats elsewhere. But Hoseok was different. 

You hit it off immediately. Yoongi introduced you at a party and you instantly connected, forgetting anyone else was there, talking all night. Drinking, too. When he offered to walk you home, you knew you would offer him a nightcap in your apartment. He knew he would accept if you did. Your memories of that night were slightly hazy but you knew the sex had been good because you had sent almost everyone you knew a message that was simply five mind-blown emojis. 

Hoseok had a party the following week and you were invited. He had been a perfect host and you had spent hours, desperately frustrated, trying to convince him to forget about all his guests and come rail you in his bedroom. By the time everyone else had left and he could finally give you his undivided attention, you had sobered up and your memories of that night are crystal clear. You had sent your best friend a text that read ‘I will never sleep with another man ever again’.

That was not a vow you kept. 

Hoseok was kind and caring and considerate in a way no one had ever really been with you before. It almost began to annoy you, the way he took care of you, looked out for you, thought of you when he passed something in a shop window. You had begun to feel claustrophobic in his affections; this wasn’t supposed to be a relationship. He wasn’t supposed to like you or, heaven forbid, fall in love with you. 

Your ‘dates’ had been casual up to that point because you had forced them to be. You would swing by his apartment after dinner with your friends or invite him over to yours when you had no plans for the weekend. When he had asked you, finally, to go on a real date with him, out to dinner somewhere, your response had been ‘why would we do that?’. That was when things had started crumbling. 

He had insisted you could keep it casual and still go out to eat together. He had insisted that it didn’t matter what it was called and, if you didn’t want to call it a date, he wouldn’t call it a date; he just wanted to spend more time with you. You had called your mutual friend and given him an earful for introducing you; you had got several earfuls back. Hoseok dropped the subject. 

Then he had started talking about a weekend away, going into the country, getting a cabin or something, going swimming in the lake and walking up the hills and stuff that all sounded far too romantic to you. You had asked him why the hell he kept insisting on treating you like you were his girlfriend. You had told him repeatedly and emphatically throughout that conversation that you were not his girlfriend. You kept telling him that you were friends and he kept telling you that he doesn’t fuck his friends like that. You told him maybe he should so he might lighten up a bit. 

You stopped sleeping together after that. Mostly. Kind of. You hung out more often and you thought that maybe you had been right, maybe you were just friends and you told yourself that this was probably the ideal outcome. But a few weeks later, at another party, you had both got drunk and immediately sought each other out across the crowded room and left without so much as saying goodbye. You tumbled into bed and you cursed yourself for ever giving this up, for ever thinking you could go without him. Until the morning came anyway. 

This happened a few more times and, each time, you grew colder and more distant in the morning. Hoseok wasn’t stupid and it wasn't as if he thought you would magically change your mind about dating him if only you had sex just one more time, one more time, but he wasn’t expecting you to behave the way you did. He had asked if you could at the very least not be rude to him, and you had shot back that overstaying one’s welcome was also considered rude and maybe he should think about that. He decided he wouldn’t sleep with you again.

It happened a few more times after that, too. Then he decided to give up drinking around you. It would’ve been easier to just cut you out, take you out of his life completely, but he was too far gone to do that. He would walk over hot coals for you; he knew it and so did you. 

* * *

You woke again much later that morning and thought about what Hoseok had said. You dialled Yoongi’s number.

“On a scale of 1-10,” you began as soon as he picked up the phone, not even bothering with a greeting, “how much of a dick am I to Hoseok?”

“Hello to you, too.”

“Please just answer the question.”

“Ok, well, what’s included on the scale? Does the worst include like, violence and murder?”

“No! Obviously not. Just like, for normal friends, scale of 1-10, how badly do I treat him?”

“Is 10 the worst?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, then 10.”

“What?!” 

“I don’t know what you want me to say. Everyone knows. You know.”

“I’m not that bad, surely.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Well then why haven’t you done anything? Why would you let your friend treat your other friend like that?”

“Well, firstly, because I don’t actually control you. Secondly, you may recall that we have spoken about this on a number of occasions and I have always made it very clear that you are being a dick and you are hurting his feelings and always told you that you need to stop dicking him about. But like I said, I don’t control you. And I don’t control him, either. I have also had numerous conversations with him about you and I have told him he deserves better-”

“Hey!”

“Are you seriously trying to argue with that?” 

“Well-”

“Exactly. I don’t know what answer you wanted from me but, of course, the answer is 10. On a scale of 1-10, you absolutely treat him the worst.”

“Surely he takes some responsibility for it at this point.”

Yoongi interrupted you before you could say more.

“Don’t you dare go there. You are my friend and I am saying this because I do actually value you as a person and, this aside, I do think you’re a decent person: you are treating him like a cunt and he deserves better and, if you were anyone else in the world, I would’ve cut him off from you months ago and literally kept him under lock and key to keep him away from you if that’s what it would’ve taken. 

“That said, I’m glad you’re asking the question. I hope this means you’re actually giving it some thought? You’re actually considering his feelings now? Considering your own, maybe?”

“What do you mean my own?”

“Your own feelings for him.”

“I don’t have feelings.” 

Yoongi hummed non-committally and you could almost hear his eyes rolling through the phome.

“Well, anyway, let me repeat one more time for the record that you are a total dick to Hoseok and you should treat him better.”

“Thanks very much.”

“You’re welcome!” he rang off brightly, ignoring the sarcasm of your comment. 

* * *

You were grumpy and hungover and tired and feeling unsettled, disturbed. It had been some time since you and Hoseok had discussed anything to do with... whatever it was that you were or had been or wanted to be, and it always made you uncomfortable. You did know, really, deep down, somewhere you tried not to look, that you were treating him badly, and on days when the hangover anxiety was at its worst, you felt sick with guilt about it. But you also felt sick at the thought of more. He wanted so much of you. More than you felt you had to give. He saw things in you that you were sure just weren’t there. And you didn’t want him to see the things you kept hidden, the dark things, the bad things, the things that would make him turn and run for the hills if he knew. He was too good for you and it scared you and it hurt you and you chose, simply, not to address it. To run away from it as far as you possibly could, which, when you’d had a drink or six, was not very far at all.

You showered to try to wash the discomfort away; you stuffed yourself full to try to distract yourself from the anxiety in your guts; you, briefly, considered drinking again but the thought brought bile to your throat. You stared, unseeing, at the TV, ostensibly watching a drama, but really replaying your own, real-life drama over and over in your head.

You wanted to be reasonable about it but the guilt and embarrassment and anxiety curdling in your gut made you feel sick and you couldn’t face it, so you chose not to be reasonable. You kept butting your head up against the fact that, if he really hated it that much, he could just not answer your calls. Sure, you could stop calling him, but you only did it when you’re drunk and who had that level of self-control after that many drinks? He didn’t have to come and get you; he didn’t have to walk you into your apartment; he didn’t have to put you to bed. He did all of that on his own. And maybe if he actually slept with you, it might've made a difference...

You tossed that thought aside because you knew both that it wasn't true and that you would not want to be anywhere near someone who would soberly fuck anyone even close to as drunk as you usually got. Hoseok was not that guy. 

The more you thought about it, the more annoyed you got. You knew that you couldn’t really think straight; you were not at your best right now, but you were annoyed. You were annoyed that you had to be tired and hungover and thinking about this. Why couldn’t he just keep it simple for you both and leave you alone? Or, at least, ignore you when you didn’t leave him alone? You felt like he was making his feelings your problem. And you were done with it.

* * *

You stood outside his door, hesitating. The taxi ride over had taken just long enough that your immediate anger was subsiding and a tiny part of your rational brain was waking up again. Then you thought about the texts you sent him last night and were so embarrassed at yourself that you needed to feel something else: guilt, shame, anxiety, anything would do. You hammered at the door. 

Hoseok opened it and looked surprised to see you, but nevertheless stepped back to let you in. 

“What’s up?” he asked. 

“We’re finishing this,” you told him and he looked at you blankly. “We’re finishing this now.”

“What do you mean? Finishing what?”

“This!” 

You gestured frantically between the two of you.

“I’m fucking sick of this!” you cried. “You want me so fucking badly? Then why don’t you do something about it?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m saying do something! I’m not drunk anymore! Why don’t you do something?” 

“Listen to what you’re suggesting. We’ve done that. And it’s ended up with us here. How do you think doing it again is going to lead somewhere different?”

You opened your mouth to argue but he wasn't finished.

“Besides which, I don’t want to just ‘do something’. That’s the whole problem. We’re in this because I want more than just something, I want more than just sex and you don’t. And when I made it clear to you that I wanted more, you ran for the fucking hills. Before you came running back, that is.”

You were surprised because he’d never argued with you like this before. You realised, with a lurch, that he’d never been angry with you before. You couldn’t put a name to what it made you feel; you were too busy swimming with frustration and anxiety and anger to be able to think clearly. You just knew that this is different so, maybe, this was good. 

“And why do you let me back, then? If I’m so awful and I treat you like such shit, why do you pick up?”

“I already told you. And you don’t need to tell me I’ve lost my fucking dignity and pride; you don’t need to tell me that I should be better than that, that I shouldn’t be begging at your table for scraps. I already know. Trust me, no one is as sickened by me as I am.”

“Sickened? Wanting me sickens you, does it? I sicken you, do I?”

“Yes, actually.”

“Fuck you, Hoseok.” 

You stalked closer to him, stuck a finger hard against his chest.

“Fuck you for putting that on me,” you spat. 

The world held its breath for one second and, the next, you were tangled up in each other, his mouth finally on yours again, his hands against your skin, yours in his hair. He lifted your T-shirt over your head and you sighed as his fingers grazed your nipple, quickly teasing it to a tight bud. You pushed down his trousers and he stepped out of them, pushing you backwards until your legs hit the sofa. He ripped off his own top before guiding you down until you were lying on the sofa with Hoseok at your feet, tugging on your jogging bottoms. You tilted your hips to allow him to pull them off and he brought his hands up to relieve you of your underwear. 

His eyes were black, darker than you’d ever seen them and he looked at you like you were in trouble, like he was imagining all the things he could do to you. You gulped and arousal pooled in your core; you were suddenly desperate for him, clawing at him until his mouth is on yours so you could taste him one more time. You palmed him through his boxers and he groaned into your mouth, swearing softly as he pulled away.

You were tingling all over with anticipation as he trailed kisses down your neck and onto your chest. He licked a broad strip across the mound of your breast and bit down hard on your soft flesh. You whimpered and arched your back into him, urging for more. He clamped his teeth around your nipple and sucked, rubbing his tongue over the stiff nub and you shivered.

“Oh god,” you whispered. You had forgotten it was this good. 

“Touch me, please,” you asked quietly. You didn’t want to break whatever spell was over you, but you were aching with a desire so strong, it almost hurt. And you knew how much he liked to hear you beg. “Please, Hoseok, please touch me.”

“Why should I give you what you want?” he asked, looking up at you through half-lidded eyes, his mouth slack, breathing heavy, voice rough. “When do I get what I want, huh?”

“Anything. I’ll do anything, please.”

If you had both been thinking with your brains, you would both have known this was not true. Your brains were, however, otherwise indisposed.

Hoseok sat back on his knees, looking at you, a small smirk at the corner of his mouth. He stood, briefly, to discard his boxers and then he looked down at you, slowly pumping the thick length of his hot, stiff cock.

You were on your knees in an instant, replacing his hand with your own. You brought your open mouth to his tip, softly licking across his slit, keeping your eyes on his as you wrapped your lips around him and sank slowly, slowly down his shaft. He grunted when he hit the back of your throat and outright moaned when you kept going.

“God, I’ve missed this mouth,” he said, his voice tight and gruff. He gripped your hair with one hand and slowly pulled you back. Then he kept your head still as he thrust back in, still slowly at first, gentle almost, and then, when you moaned around him, faster, and then harder when your fingernails dug into his thighs. His eyes never left yours, even though yours were swimming with tears and he was no more than a blur above you. He was always looking at you. Until his eyes fluttered closed and you knew he was close to coming, could see it when his eyes opened again, piercing in their intensity; you could feel his cock twitch in your mouth and you tapped his leg, signalling him to stop. 

He fell from you in an instant and you pushed him onto the sofa.

“Don’t think you’re the only one who gets to have their fun,” you told him.

You pushed him back until he was lying and you pinned him down with your knees either side of his head. He was impatient, wrapping his arms around your legs and pulling you down to him, your core wet and dripping over his mouth. He looked at you, making sure your eyes met as licked through your folds.

“Fuck,” he moaned. “I forgot just how wet you get. I’m going to fucking drown in you." 

He licked into your centre, drinking you in, taking you for everything you’d got while you rolled your hips against him, rubbing your clit against his nose, desperate for contact, for friction. You heard him chuckle low in his throat and you whimpered.

He was impatient to get started but he liked to take his time with you. He wanted you to beg: beg him to start, beg him to keep going, beg him to finish you off. He licked languidly through your folds, he sucked, he nipped, he returned again to fuck you with his tongue, all while you shivered and whined above him, pleasure building in you, urgency mounting. You grabbed his hair with both hands and tried to hold him still so you could direct yourself above him, but he was stronger than you and his arms kept you in place. 

“Hoseok, please. Please, I need to come.”

He hummed against you and you tugged on his hair. 

“Please, please.”

You tried harder to grind against his face, your clit throbbing and burning under the absence of his touch. He held you still. His face was buried in your cunt and you could just see his eyes, glinting at you, watching you fall apart under your desperate need for him. 

“Hoseok,” you panted. “Hoseok, please.” Your voice broke as your desperation peaked, every part of you alert and armed, like tinder just millimetres from a flame. 

He finally sealed his lips around your clit and you went up like a bonfire, ecstasy roaring through you, consuming everything. You were hot and sweating and writhing on top of him as he licked and lapped and sucked at you, pulling sounds out of you that only he could: loud, desperate, animal cries and his name over and over and over again. 

It was only when you let loose his hair and your legs quivered either side of his head that he loosened his own grip on you and you flopped backwards, lying on top of him with your head on his hip. 

“See how good I am to you?” he asked, wiping his mouth, sliding out from underneath you, towering over you once more. 

“Yeah,” you whimpered. You nodded. “Yeah, yeah, so good.”

“But you don’t fucking want me.”

“Yeah, I do. I do, Hoseok, god, I do. Please.” 

He rested his hands against the arm of the sofa above your head and lowered his face to yours.

“You know that’s not what I mean,” he said low, menacing.

He kissed you lightly and you lifted your head to meet him again but he moved too far off. He knelt over you, his heavy cock resting on your mound, and considered you for a while. This wasn’t usually part of your game and you were impatient, still needy for him, remembering the way he split you open, the glorious stretch of him inside you, the fluidity and power with which he moved. 

“Fuck. What do you want from me?” you asked.

He tipped forward, back over you, hands either side of your head, his face so close, you could barely see him. He moved and kissed you lightly just below the ear.

“Everything.”

He stood and put on his boxers and you were overwhelmed with anger again. 

“For fuck’s sake, seriously?!” you shouted, hitting him with a scatter cushion. “Are you fucking kidding?”

He turned to you, pulling his trousers back up and shrugged.

“No, I’m not kidding. I told you. I want everything. I want you, all of you, even this shitty part of you that treats me like crap, even the part of you that tells me you love me and then pretends to forget all about it in the morning, even the part of you that pretends to be sickened by the very idea of being my girlfriend, despite the fact that you refer to yourself as mine in the dead of night. Even your excessive drinking, even your emotional constipation, even your big, fat heart that you try to hide from everyone, even your insistence that you don’t give a shit despite giving a hell of a lot of a shit all the damn time, even your stupid fucking determination to do everything by yourself even when you actually need help, even your terrible taste in films and those god-awful reality TV programs you like, even your snoring, even your back turned back against me. All of it. All of you. I fucking want all of you, all the fucking time.” 

You stared breathlessly at him as his chest heaved, his breathing ragged. Your heart was in your throat, blood roaring in your ears. He was waiting for you to say something but you’d lost the ability to speak. Words flew into and out of your head without your being able to catch any of them. You couldn’t think. Your mind was buzzing, static blaring, nothing but white noise. You could only stare at him, bewildered, overwhelmed, utterly naked. 

His breathing slowly settled and he rolled his eyes and turned away from you. 

“Of course,” he muttered under his breath. 

He was walking away from you and you knew you had to stop him. Your brain had no capacity to filter anything on its way to your mouth and you said it before you even really knew you were feeling it.

“I love you. I fucking love you.” 

He turned quickly and watched you, wary, unsure. You didn’t let yourself think anymore. You staggered to your feet and took his hands and pulled him close to you. 

“I fucking love you,” you said again. “I love you, ok? And I'm not drunk this time and fucking fine, if I’m such a piece of shit but you still want me, then fine. Fine. Have me.” 

He was still looking at you, looking into your eyes like he was trying to solve a riddle.

“I’m not fucking with you. I’m not lying. I want you. I want you and have always wanted you and always wanted not to want you as much I do because you’re terrifying. Ever looked directly at the sun? Ever looked at the fucking face of god? ‘Cause I have and it’s you. Ok? It’s you. When I get drunk and I call you and I tell you that I love you, it’s true – that's true. It’s only you I call.” Your skin was hot, flushed, but from embarrassment now, from feeling skinned, raw, exposing yourself in a way that you never did, never wanted to. Your voice broke and you desperately didn’t want to cry, didn’t want this to be more embarrassing than it needed to be, didn’t want him to see how pathetic you really were even as you were telling him. “It’s only you I want. And it’s only when I’m not sober enough to fight myself that I can admit it. I’m a piece of shit and you’re a literal angel, a fucking god, but fine, if you really want to have me, have me. I’m yours.” 

He gently nudged your nose with his and whispered your name, his eyes carefully watching you. Then he kissed you, soft and slow, and wrapped his arms around you. His hands wandered, exploring your body, caressing any part of you he could reach, as his tongue rolled with yours, as you raked your fingers through his hair, as he moaned into your mouth, as he picked you up and took you into the bedroom. 

He lay you gently on the bed and slipped off his clothes once more. He covered your body with his and pressed kisses into your neck. Then he bit down and you keened, arching your back into him, suddenly violently, urgently aware of the slick between your legs, of your fluttering walls, desperate for him now. 

“Please, Hoseok,” you whispered. “Please fuck me, now.”

This was where you were comfortable. No more talking. Just Hoseok with his body over yours, his soft skin and softer lips, his nimble fingers and strong body, his eyes black as pitch as he looked at you like you were prey.

“Gladly,” he whispered back, his lips just grazing yours. 

He pressed himself against your entrance, eyes flicking between your face and your cunt as he watched himself disappear into you and watched your face, lest you betray any sign of pain or discomfort. But there was none. There was only the perfect, overwhelming fullness of him inside you and then the tight drag, feeling every contour of his cock, as he pulled back and thrust in again. 

“God, no one compares to you- fuck...”

He liked to watch your face as you whined and whimpered beneath him when he lifted your legs, pushing against the backs of your thighs, hitting you deeper, harder. You were hot and sticky everywhere; your skin was slick with sweat, your cunt slick with arousal. Every part of you was fit to bursting, coming apart at the seams. You felt like a dam about to break and then he took his hand down between your bodies and pressed hard, the motion of his thrusts knocking his hand until you were crying out for more, much more, crying out that you were close, crying out please, please let me come, let me come. And he did. The flood engulfed you; you were pulled through a riptide of pleasure, unable to scream, unable to breathe, suffocating in the swirling pool of your orgasm. Hoseok kept going, fucking you through your climax until he was coming, too, painting your walls white, falling under the surface of ecstasy with you. 

He fell down next to you and you lay, quiet save for your heavy breathing. When he took your hand in his, you let him, despite the thrum of anxiety in your heart.

“So,” he said, and he looked nervous when you turned towards him.

You were nervous but you’d said it now. And you’d missed him—you had. And Yoongi’s words were ringing in your ears, about your feelings, about how badly you treated Hoseok, and words from much, much longer ago, about how much you’d like him, what a great guy he was, how much Hoseok had liked meeting you, how much he liked you.

He was waiting for you to speak, not daring to go first. You looked down at your joined hands, looked up at the ceiling, looked at his face.

“I’m,” you began, your voice quiet and croaky. You cleared your throat but still didn’t know what words were going to come out. “I’m… I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean?”

He rolled onto his side, facing you, and you took your hand from his so you could use both to cover your face. You gave a frustrated sigh and slapped them onto the mattress on either side of you.

“I don’t know how to be a girlfriend. Not to you.”

“’Not to me’? What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing! That’s my whole point!”

You squirmed, embarrassment heating your cheeks again, and ended up on your side, facing him.

“There’s nothing wrong with you and it’s… intimidating. I’m not like that. You said it yourself. There’s a lot wrong with me and-”

“That’s not what I said. I actually think you’re perfect.”

You blinked, stunned into silence.

“But you said all those things.”

“I still think you’re perfect. Even though I said all those things, even though you do snore and even though you have handled this situation in about the worst possible way and even though it’s hurt my feelings. Even though all of it. I still think you’re perfect and I still love you.”

You turned onto your back, staring at the ceiling, blinking away fresh tears.

“I think you’re crazy,” you told him.

“There you go; there is something wrong with me after all.”

He leant over you and cupped your cheek with his hand. When he kissed you, it was soft and sweet and it wasn’t going to go anywhere—nor did you need it to.

“I don’t want to get it wrong,” you whispered to him, his face still close to yours, his breath fanning over your face.

He shrugged lightly.

“It’s ok if you do. We can’t be right all the time.”

“You’ll still love me?”

“Yes. After all this, I still love you. I’ve tried not to, I promise. So, yes, I will still love you if you get it wrong. As long as you love me.”

“I do.” You wanted to say it back, felt it stick in your throat. You swallowed hard, blinked slowly, took a deep breath. “I love you, too.”

He kissed you again, still soft, still gentle, and then settled back on his side.

“So…”

“So?”

“So can I actually call you my girlfriend now?”

You rolled your eyes playfully and couldn’t stop the little thrill in your heart or grin on your lips.

“I guess, if you must.”

He grinned back at you, wide, beaming.

“Yes, I fucking must!”

You thought that sounded just fine.

PROMISE (KSJ)

Pairing: Seokjin × Fem Reader

Genre: established relationship au, angst, fluff

Rating: 18+, M

Warnings: swearing, smut, jealousy, insecurity, feeling of neglect, alcohol consumption

WC: 4.5K

Summary: When you and Seokjin no longer dream of the same dream, and no longer look at the world the same way, you start recalling the promise you made to each other three years ago in front of the altar. Is it a promise that holds true for eternity, or is it a promise that’s meant to be broken?

Taglist: @moonleeai @seokjins-luigi @iwishselena

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @astronaut-jin-moon @persphonesorchid @thatbangtanjagiya @taestefully-in-luv @btsstan12 @bts-reveries @blog-name-idk @madbutgloriouspond @pamzn @wrmnssoul @ygbubs @halesandy @jayhope88 @bnagtanx1306 @pinkseokchim

When I’m with you, there is no one else.

I get heaven to myself.

When I’m with you, there is no one else.

I feel this way I’ve never felt.

— The Astronaut, Jin

•••

Seokjin kicked off his shoes on the vestibule, grunting in annoyance when one of them flipped over, hitting one of his heels in the process. It was a long, taxing day at work and an equally long, chilly drive home, and there’s nothing he wanted more than to just crawl into bed and sleep until spring. From where he stood, he could make out the soft glow of the fireplace in the living room and the hurricane candles on the bottom of the stairs. As he pushed the french door open, the smell of sugar, vanilla, and cinnamon wafted through the air, immediately providing comfort and warmth. He released a breath that he didn’t realize he'd been holding.

“Babe?” He called out, but he’s met with silence. “Yn? Baby, I’m home!” He called out two more times, but was still met with silence. He checked his phone from his backpocket to see if there’s any message or call from you that he missed, but there wasn’t. It’s not until he waddled further into the house that he saw the little note you stuck on the fridge: “Ran to the neighbors’ real quick. Hyo-rin wanted candied nuts. Saved some for you too. <3”

Hyo-rin is your neighbor’s three-year-old daughter who loves following you around and takes interest in everything you do. She sits outside with you when you tend to your flower bed, she rides her bike beside you when you go for a walk, and she sometimes unabashedly asks you for random things– last week, she asked for chocolate cupcakes, and this time, she asked for candied nuts. Her parents don’t mind– Hyo-rin is their youngest child and are grateful that she likes socializing with the neighbors that much. They also offer to puppysit for you when you need to run some errands and couldn’t take Kkuma, your little red sable fox-face pomeranian, along. Seokjin loves kids, too, but there’s something about your fondness with Hyo-rin that feels like a giant fist constantly jabbing on his chest, and he hates himself for it. He sometimes wonders if that’s supposed to be how one feels when they’re in a childless marriage for years, too. Setting the thought aside, he wandered through the kitchen and found a glass bowl filled with a selection of nuts– pecans, walnuts, and almonds, coated in glossy spiced sugar. He doesn’t like snacks that much, but he couldn’t resist popping a piece of pecan in his mouth. He hummed in satisfaction as the saccharine taste danced on his tongue. These will be great with wine and cheese, he thought. He leaned onto the counter and dialed your number.

“Hi, love,” you picked up on the second ring.

“Hey, I’m home…” Seokjin stated. “Did you take Kkuma with you?”

“I did, yeah… We’re coming home in a bit,” There was a hint of a smile in your voice. “Hyo-rin’s mom was kind enough to buy some toys for Kkuma, and she’s just getting them from their room.”

“Hmm, okay… I’ll wait for you downstairs,” he sighed. “Hurry up though, I’m so tired, I just want to lie down.” He whined.

~

Your breath hitched at the sight of your husband leaning onto the counter— hair a bit disheveled, exposing a bit of his forehead, the top two buttons of his dress shirt undone, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbow, exposing his veiny arms. Even in his exhausted state, you can’t deny that you hit the jackpot at the handsome husband lottery.

“Hey there, handsome…” Your eyes met and he gave you that eye-wrinkling smile that never fails to make you weak in the knees, before encasing your waist and pulling you close. His mouth captured yours in a tender kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Almost immediately, you felt him relax in your arms. He gave your lips a few more pecks before moving to your jaw, nuzzling the back of your ear, and snaking his hands underneath your shirt at the same time. The warm contact of his palms against your skin made you sigh in delight, “Mmm… I thought you were tired.” You closed your eyes and tilted your head as your husband’s kisses trailed down the side of your neck.

“I am, but you smell so good, babe…” he murmured against your skin. He was just about to kiss you on your lips again when an abrupt yelp coming from the direction of the floor caught his attention, followed by excited paws pitty-patting on his legs. You both broke away from each other, earning a giggle from you and a whine from Seokjin. “Yaahh, Kkuma…” he exclaimed, but crouched down and picked up your puppy anyway. “Way to ruin the mood, boy…” he cooed nuzzling on the little pooch’s neck.

You took that as your cue to go around the kitchen island and retrieved a can of cold beer for Seokjin. “Mama called earlier…” you started telling him about your mother-in-law. “She’s reminding us of the Fall Festival next week.”

“That’s next week?” He put Kkuma down and slumped down on one of the bar stools.

“Yeah, we promised we’re staying for the weekend, remember?” You popped the can open, handing it over to him.

Seokjin toyed with the rim of the beer can in deep thought, “When did we say that?”

“Oh my god, Jin? Seriously?” You rolled your eyes while moving around effortlessly in the kitchen retrieving things you’ll be needing to prepare for dinner. “Your mother was literally sitting on that chair last week when she mentioned that the halloween attraction park is opening again this year, you know, since they shut down two years ago.”

“… like Tulleys?” he quirked his eyebrow, recalling the family attraction farm you used to go to in the United Kingdom when you started traveling as a couple.

“Yes, babe. Like Tulleys, minus all the scary, halloween-y stuff. This one’s more on just the pumpkin patch and good food stuff.”

“Oh, for kids then…” he said dryly.

“No,” you sighed. “For grown-ups too. But hey, your brother said they’re staying over too,” you giggled excitedly at the thought of seeing Seokjin’s nephew again. “Which means, we can take Junho to the farm!”

“I doubt Seokmin is coming. His wife is always too busy with her clients,” he smirked.

“Huh…” You popped a cherry tomato in your mouth before leaning onto the counter seductively in front of your husband. “Wanna know the reason why your mother called earlier?” You asked in a low voice.

Seokjin almost choked on his beer, “Why do you have to talk about my mother in that manner? Yah!” His ears turned bright red before he fell into a fit of giggles. “Babe, what the fuck?”

“Sorry!” You couldn’t help but laugh along too. You composed yourself again before continuing, “I just wanted to prove you wrong, you know!” You went back to the other side of the kitchen and continued assembling your dinner, “Mama called earlier to tell us that Seokmin, Ana, and Junho flew in this morning.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah… she’s asking us if we can drive down sooner. Seems like she’s already too excited to wait for the weekend.”

“It’s only Wednesday though,” Seokjin’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“I know, that’s why I said I’ll check in with you first,” you said softly. “I know you’ve been busy lately.”

A few months ago, Seokjin has assumed the directorship role at the real estate company he’s working at, and has spent most of his time either stuck in meetings with developers and engineers or reviewing and signing contract after contract. Even at home, when he’s supposed to be resting and spending quality time with you, he finds himself reaching for his laptop or his iPad whenever he thinks something needs to be done. You on the other hand, have been doing well with freelance work, curating pieces for galleries that would require your expertise and keen eye for the arts. That’s how you tread the water on your relationship and keep your heads above the surface— you can ground him whenever his world spins a little bit too fast.

•••

You arrived at your in-laws’ house Saturday morning and to say that the countryside looks gorgeous enveloped in the colors of autumn is an understatement. The moment you stepped out of the car, Junho, Seokjin’s four-year-old nephew ran out to greet you, brown, orange and red leaves crunching underneath his little boots.

“Uncle Jin!!!” He ran straight into your husband’s waiting arms squealing as he picked him up and flung him over his shoulder. Seokjin ran around the driveway with his nephew over his shoulder screaming along with the little boy gleefully.

“Yn…” Your mother-in-law greeted you with a fond smile before pulling you in for a hug. “How are you, sweetheart? Are you guys tired from the drive? Are you hungry?”

“No, Mama,” you linked your arm with hers as you walked back to the house. “We enjoyed the drive, the scenery took our breaths away.” You glanced back at Seokjin and Junho still playing outside. “Though your son is really craving haemul kalguksu. He wouldn’t stop talking about it on the way here.”

“Ugh,” she rolled her eyes. “Did he talk to Seokmin? That boy is asking for the same thing!”

As if on cue, Seokjin’s older brother opened the front door for you. “Yah… I was wondering where my son has run off to,” he smiled.

“Aish… let them be,” your mother-in-law smacked the back of his head. “He hasn’t seen his uncle in a while…” She pushed past the door, with you still in her arms. “Come on, Seokmin. Shuck the clams and mussels, and I’m gonna get started on your kalguksu.”

~

The digital clock on the bedside table reads 02:30 AM and Seokjin still couldn’t will himself to sleep. You’ve been asleep for a while now, your back turned to him, cuddling another pillow. He’s still fuming over what transpired during dinner with his parents, his brother, and his brother’s family. You were doting on his nephew when his sister-in-law started throwing a barrage of questions your way. ‘Yn, are you pregnant? No? Oh. I thought you looked quite a bit… heavy.’ Ana was relentless with her snide remarks. ‘When are you planning to have a baby?’ ‘You can’t keep hogging my son whenever you have baby fever.’ ‘Okay, be honest— which one has infertility issues? Better get yourselves checked!’ ‘I can’t believe three years of barren marriage.’ Seokmin, extremely embarrassed by his wife’s behavior, scolded her, which led to Ana storming off, and their parents cutting the dinner short. You spent the evening helping your mother-in-law clearing up, and preparing the front porch for all the pumpkin decorations you’re picking up at the farm the next day, assuring Seokjin that Ana’s words did not affect you and that he should also just let it slide. He knew better though. He knew that the reason why you slept with your back turned to him, it’s because you didn’t want him to see you cry.

The following morning, your mother-in-law has informed you over breakfast that Seokmin and his family has already left to catch an earlier flight back to Jeju-do. Apparently, Ana was so embarrassed with what happened that she didn’t have the guts to face you, but that shouldn’t dampen the mood and change your plans for the day— which you happily agreed. Your agenda for the day is to go to a pumpkin patch and grab everything you could get your hands on to decorate with. Your excitement is through the roof because you’re not just going to an ordinary pumpkin patch, you’re talking about 90 acres of farmland all prepped up with dozens of pumpkin varieties, just for this festive season.

“Seokjin, how many pumpkins do you think you can load up in your trunk? Your Dad and I are bringing the truck.”

“I thought we were riding with you in the truck?”

“Babe, Mama’s asking—“

“I’m asking because you have to bring enough back home to the city to decorate with!” Your mother-in-law shrieked.

“Meh…” he shrugged. “Can probably fit half a dozen in the trunk.”

“What are you gonna do with just half a dozen? Pumpkin pie?” your father-in-law teased.

“We can fill the backseat, Papa, it’s fine.” You waved your hand dismissively.

“What? No. The backseat is real leather,” Seokjin argued.

The chair screeched as your father-in-law stood up and rounded the table, patting Seokjin on the shoulders, “Son… happy wife, happy life.” He chuckled before fishing the car keys from the decorative bowl on the counter. “Let’s go, everyone.”

•••

The farm was buzzing with people. At the entrance, you were given a large wheelbarrow and a pruner, and then off you went to explore the patch to pick your own pumpkins. There were live roaming characters dressed as enchantress and fairies, playing with the kids around, and in the distance, you could hear the live band coming from the streetfood tent. Seokjin promised his Dad that you’re all going to try the pumpkin draft beer after pumpkin-picking.

“How much are these pumpkins? This one’s heavy!” Seokjin struggled to load the biggest one you’ve picked up so far on the wheelbarrow. “Are they gonna weigh these things?”

“They have size rings that will determine the price later on.” Just when you crouched down to nip another silly-looking gourd from the ground, you heard two small voices arguing from behind you.

“Mina, let me do it!”

“No, let me! Let me!”

“I’m older than you!”

“But I’m stronger!”

Seokjin watched you approach the two little girls arguing over who’s gonna pick the pumpkin with their bare hands, and he felt that pang in his chest again. The same one he feels whenever he sees you play with the neighbor’s kids, play with his nephew, and sometimes even when you’re just playing with Kkuma. You love kids, and you have that certain nurturing air in you that makes him one hundred percent believe that you’re gonna be a great mother one day. Before you got married, you have talked about having kids in the near future, and since you’re the eldest child amongst 6 siblings, you’ve always been vocal to him about having a big family too. Seokjin, being the youngest child, is used to being spoiled rotten, but things took a turn when he met you. He had to man up– especially when he met your five brothers, who albeit all younger than you, could easily take him down if he made one mistake. He had to prove to them that he could take care of you and give you everything your heart desires.

His train of thoughts was interrupted when he saw a man approach you– most likely the children’s father. He thought nothing of it until he saw the glint of recognition in the man’s eyes, his boxy grin was a dead giveaway too. The next thing he knew, you’re waving him over to where you were standing before making the introductions.

“This is my husband, Seokjin…” you beamed, linking your arm around his.

“Hey man…” Seokjin extended his hand.

“Taehyung. Nice to meet you,” he took his extended hand in firm grip. “Wow, I can’t believe out of all the galleries and exhibits we could’ve run into each other, we find ourselves at a pumpkin patch.” Taehyung regarded you after letting go of Seokjin’s hand.

Taehyung. Galleries. Exhibits. Something finally clicked in Seokjin’s mind. This is Kim Taehyung, the artist. Kim Taehyung, your ex boyfriend.

“I know!” You exclaimed. “You have beautiful kids, Tae.” You smiled fondly at the girls who were busy choosing which pumpkin to pick next.

“Thank you! Ah, they’re quite a handful, but it’s been great.” He chuckled. “How about you, guys? Did you come with your kids?”

“Oh no, we’re here with our parents.” You looked around, “They’re around here somewhere.”

“Oh nice, nice…” Taehyung nodded. “Are you still curating? Or…?”

“Yeah, I am! I mostly work freelance now though, but it’s been good. I get a lot of consultations from clients.”

“That’s cool!” One of Taehyung’s daughters waved him over to look at the pumpkin they had chosen. “Well, I guess that’s my cue to get going. I’ll see you around? Maybe we can work together pretty soon!”

“Sure, Tae!”

“Hey, nice to meet you again, man.” Taehyung raised a salute to Seokjin before walking away.

~~

Seokjin had just finished loading up your car with the last pumpkin when you stepped out of the house with your mother-in-law, bearing a basketful of side dishes and fresh herbs harvested from her garden. You figured you would leave early in the afternoon so you can make it back home just in time before sunset.

Seokjin kissed his mother goodbye, promising he would call her as soon as you made it home.

It was a smooth drive, with little to no traffic along the way. The moment you hit the highway, you rummaged through your purse and pulled out a small bag of sour gummy worms that you’ve been saving for the drive. Seokjin was unusually quiet, a tell that he’s exhausted. The only sound in the car is the soft hum of the radio tuned into a random station. You retrieved a piece of the sweet treat and offered it to your husband by attempting to feed it to him yourself. “Open, please. Ahhh,” you opened your mouth wide, willing him to copy you. Seokjin shook his head and avoided the candy. “You don’t want one? But these are your favorite,” you pouted.

“Not hungry,” he answered dryly.

“This isn’t supposed to be a meal, silly!” You giggled, popping the candy into your mouth instead. “I had fun today,” you smiled. “I’m tired though, let’s not unload the pumpkins tonight. Let’s deal with them tomorrow.”

Seokjin nodded.

“Yoongi texted me earlier, asking if he could keep Kkuma for the weekend. Apparently Jimin and Jungkook hogged him all day and he didn’t get some quality time with his quote-unquote nephew.” You laughed thinking about how indifferent your younger brother is, but goes so soft for anything with fur and paws.

Seokjin just nodded again, uninterested.

“We’re lucky Joon and Hobi are both out of town, otherwise, they might ask to keep Kkuma for an entire week.”

“Yn, can you just…” he started, irritated. “Will you please keep quiet for a minute, I’m trying to concentrate on the road here.”

“Oh. Okay, sorry,” you bit your bottom lip and sank down on your seat. You heaved a deep sigh before looking out the window, staying quiet during the entire drive.

•••

“Are you working? I thought you’re tired?”

You looked up from your iPad when you heard your husband’s voice. His side of the bed dipped as he sat down, dressed in boxer shorts and plain white shirt; hair still damp from the shower.

“I’m just checking a few things and trying to work on my calendar next week,” you replied. Seokjin scoffed and it made your eyebrows raise; what has gotten into him?

“So you can fit Kim Taehyung into your schedule?” He asked bitterly.

“What?” Did you hear that right? You placed your iPad down on the night stand and sat up straight in bed, waiting for Seokjin to turn around.

“He’s your ex, right? The artist, Kim Taehyung? He wants you to work with him, right?” Seokjin’s voice trembled. “Go ahead, make time for him. You can—“

“Seokjin, why are you bringing this up?” You’re beginning to get irritated. “Why are we having this conversation? Are you trying to pick a fight with me?”

Silence.

“Is that the reason why you were all snappy at me in the car? Because of a happily-married man with two daughters, that I happened to bump into earlier today?”

Seokjin hung his head low, both hands gripping the side of the mattress, back still turned on you.

“What has gotten into you?” You rolled your eyes. “Gosh, you’re not usually—“ Your words were cut off when you heard your husband sniff. “Jin?” You crawled across the bed to his side, your irritation suddenly replaced by concern. “Babe…” You hugged him from the back and rested your chin on his shoulder. “Are you okay?” You planted a kiss on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

The look on Seokjin’s face when he finally turned to look at you made your heart clench. His nose and cheeks were flushed, and his eyes pooled with unshed tears. “I’m sorry, Yn…”

“What? Why?” You reached out and wiped the fresh tear that streamed down his face with your thumb.

“I’m sorry that until now, we don’t have the family you’ve always dreamed of,” Seokjin sighed. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you a child. Maybe if you ended up with Taehyung, those kids could have been yours.”

“Jin, I—“ you wanted to say something but Seokjin is speaking a thousand words per minute at this point, trying to lay everything out on the table.

“I know you’ve always wanted kids. You want a big family, and I’m sorry I don’t know what’s wrong with me, babe. I want to have kids with you, but it’s just so frustrating.” Seokjin’s tears fell freely on his face and he was quick to wipe them away. “You know how much it crushed me as I watched you sit there at the dining table last night, listening to every word that came out of Ana’s mouth? Because it’s true— we have a barren marriage, and I feel like it’s all my fault.”

“Hey, hey, hey… Sshh…” You kneeled on the bed and moved directly next to him to get a better angle. “It’s okay, babe. There’s nothing wrong with you,” you soothed him. “We both know that. We’ve been to the doctors, we’re both healthy. It’s just not the time yet, okay?” You cradled Seokjin’s face gently between your palms. “Look at me, Jin.” He looked at you as if you hold the whole universe in your hands. You’ve never seen your husband break down like this before except three years ago, as he watched you walk down the aisle. But this one’s different— this one is full of pain and regrets, and you don’t like it one bit. “I love you, okay? Who cares if we can’t have kids? Maybe—“

“But I promised you everything in the world…”

“You have already given me so much, Seokjin…”

“Is it enough, though?” He asked softly, eyes pleading.

You don’t know what triggered his insecurities like this. You know your husband well— he’s confident, intelligent, and secured. He’s selfless, considerate, and always puts you first. His busy schedule and workaholic nature has never been an issue in your marriage as you balance each other perfectly well. During the first year of your marriage, you have already been trying for a baby. One year became two years, but still no luck. None of you had any infertility issues, but the stress due to your careers made it impossible for both of you to fall into the correct rhythm. You looked back on the past seven years you have been together as a couple, and although there were a few bumps and pebbles along the way, you’ve always managed to overcome them. Looking at Seokjin in his most vulnerable state yet made your stomach flip and your heart ache. You knew deep in your heart that it’s enough— he’s more than enough, and you could not ask for a better life partner than him.

“It is, Jin…” You reached out and crossed the space between you, capturing his mouth with yours in a lingering kiss. “You are enough. You are more than enough for me,” you whispered against his lips. You moved to straddle him on the bed, and just like clockwork, he encased you in his embrace and pulled you closer up against him. Once you’re settled on his lap, you deepened the kiss while running your fingers through his hair. Seokjin moaned against your lips, hands coming up underneath your tanktop.

“Let me see you…” he murmured against your jaw.

“Undress me,” you replied while craning your neck, giving him more access, as he nipped and sucked purple bruises on your skin.

Seokjin didn’t need to be told twice, he yanked your tanktop up and over your head, making your breasts bounce in the process. “Oh fuck,” he tossed the material aside before leaning down to capture one of your mounds in his mouth, kneading the other one with his palm.

You moaned at the sensation his ministrations were giving you and you started grinding on his lap, gradually feeling him getting hard against your core. You could already feel your wetness pooling between your legs at the friction between your bodies, and with the pair of lacy material you have on, there’s no doubt you’re staining your husband’s boxer shorts already. Seokjin’s hands roamed around your body, and with one swift motion, you already found yourself lying on your back underneath your husband whose already making his way down your body, trailing his tongue from your sternum, to your belly button, to the part where you needed him the most.

You couldn’t remember most of what happened throughout the night. All you could remember was how Seokjin reminded you over and over again how much he loves you, and vice versa. You fell asleep within each other’s embrace that night, not caring if both of you were sweaty and out of breath. All that mattered to you was that you’re with each other.

~~

You woke up the next morning, smiling to yourself despite the soreness between your legs. Seokjin is no longer next to you, and you figured he’s already left for work, considering it’s already almost nine o’clock. You were just about to get out of bed when the door flew open, revealing your husband in nothing but his pajama bottoms. Your jaw almost dropped to the floor with how gorgeous he is, broad shoulders and all.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he leaned down and kissed you firmly on the lips. “I made breakfast.” He smiled proudly.

“What are you still doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Despite the context of your question, you couldn’t help but reach out and lovingly play with your husband’s slightly wavy hair. He’s been growing his hair lately and you’re loving it on him already.

“Nope!” He said, putting emphasis on the ‘p’ with a pop. “I’m taking a break for a while. I’ve already notified the office this morning while you were still dreaming.”

“That’s great, babe!”

“I know…” Seokjin kissed you again. “Why don’t we…” another kiss, “continue…” another kiss, “what we started last night?”

“Mmm… I’d love that…” you replied, rubbing your nose against his. “But I’m hungry…”

Seokjin burst out laughing at your brutal honesty— the obnoxious windshield wiper-sounding laugh you love so much. “Okay, come on. Breakfast is ready…” With one swift motion, he’s already wrapping your naked body up in a blanket and carrying you over his shoulder.

“Put me down!” You squealed.

“No!” Seokjin laughed as he adjusted your body on his shoulder, before making his way out of the room and down the stairs. “Better save your energy, my love. I have the entire month off, and we will be making babies everyday, I promise.”

•••

Time Skip: Fall 2023

If I cannot have a friendship like these two then I don't want it 😭

jimin wishing hobi happy birthday with his dance ♡

Since it’s Jhope’s birthday, just something I’ve been writing for a while

Genre: Angst, Best Friends to Lovers (?)

Warning: Overthinking, Self-doubt, Reader always thinks it’s their fault whenever something happens, Hobi and reader's relationship is completely platonic (as of yet)

A/n: I haven't really decided yet if this should be simply platonic or I'll just make them end up together lol. Opinions are always welcome!

You and Hobi have been friends since the start of University and it had been going really well. You were a bit introverted but always felt comfortable enough to be a little outgoing with him since he never judged you and was always ready to join you in the madness. He shared all of his secrets with you calling you his best friend and even though you were a bit closed off, you considered him yours as well. It was after a few months when Hobi started having feelings for another girl that everything changed. 

As usual you guys were hanging out in the cafeteria during your break when he revealed that he has a crush on a girl who shared common classes with you both. "I've seen her looking at me but I've never gotten the confidence to talk to her." He blushed, keeping his eyes on the ground biting his lips. You felt genuinely happy for him and encouraged him to talk to her to which he promised he will as soon as he can. 

It was a week later that you got a call from him saying that he got her number from a common friend, Jimin who was in the same group as the girl and was more than happy to help him in getting to know her. You did feel a pang of jealousy in your heart knowing that they have been talking for a while without you knowing but buried it deep down congratulating Hoseok on getting her number and teasing him about how she'll be his number one priority now. "Don't worry babe, you're not going to get rid of me that easily" He chuckled, making you wish he'd stick to his promise. 

-------

You weren't sad about the fact that Hoseok has a girlfriend now, but a bit jealous of the fact that Hoseok now roamed most of his time these days with Jimin and his large group who shared the same personality as him and were always laughing at his jokes. You were jealous of the fact that he fit right in the group and hung out with them even when his girlfriend wasn't around. It bothered you a bit that he never introduced you to them, always preferring to just wave at you whenever you walked past them. You guys still talked though, as he preferred to sit next to you in classes you shared and always had stories to tell about how he spent his days and what dates he's been deciding for the upcoming weekend asking you for advice and places where he could take her. It did hurt when he stopped talking to you outside of campus, never calling you just occasionally texting you asking about stuff that's happening in classes when he wasn't present. You were at a state where the only thing you thought was "maybe you were the one who did something wrong. Maybe you didn't support him enough or maybe you stuck to him so much that his girlfriend didn't want him hanging out with you anymore." Though you felt like the last point was irrelevant as she always greeted you in class, carrying on conversations as if you have been friends for a long time and had a genuine smile whenever you would greet her back. It made you not dislike her, even though you felt that it might be fake and that she actually hates you. You knew you were spiralling and that it was unhealthy for you. But you couldn't stop.

-------

It took a while but you finally went to a place where you were accepting that maybe yours and hobi's friendship wasn't meant to be. You used to call him randomly when your overthinking hit you at full speed, wanting to feel validated and that he might still consider you as his friend. Conversations still flowed normal and he would always give you gossip and spill out his secrets as he used to before, but the only thing that changed was you were the one who always initiated the conversation and the secrets which used to come daily (as he always used to call you whenever he needed to tell you something) would come only when you called. He had found his group of friends and it was time that you should too.

It did take you a bit of time, but you managed to make friends with people who you could be comfortable with. (Not as comfortable as you were with him, but it was much better than being a loner). You still sat beside each other, but would only sit when the professor would enter, choosing to come 5 mins before to avoid having conversations with him which would only take you back to a place where thoughts about not being a good enough friend would consume you. He would still whisper during lectures trying to make conversations but you would just nod your head or give vague, one word answers paying attention to the board. You tried not to show that you were upset with him, always giving him a smile at the end before walking out of the class with your friends. 

But one thing was sure, how much you tried, it would still sting your heart knowing that he might not even be affected as much as you were. Little did you know, it was hurting him a lot more than you think.

-------------------

Drop in your opinions here if they should be just friends or more!