Theo And Pixie Tonight!! Get Ready For A Super Emotional Chapterrrr

theo and pixie tonight!! get ready for a super emotional chapterrrr 😝

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: mistakes can happen but this one might cost them a record deal, so they definitely needs some help from you

warnings: cursing, unsafe driving, someone gets hurt, let me know if i missed any!

notes: mattheo and enzo are brothers in this story, i just decided hehe. (they both keep their respective name, they’re step brothers, since childhood so they are practically real brothers anyway lol)

let me know if you’ve enjoyed this part :))

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"you're so funny, enz" april was laying belly down on your bed, while she was busy giggling into her phone. enzo had asked her if she still had the same number she had in middle school and promptly followed her confirmation with the question if she would be free to call after school.

april had agreed before she remembered that she was going to your place. but, because you were a good friend, you had told her that it was no problem.

now she was laying on your bed talking to enzo, who, you were pretty sure, was at theo's.

you now regreted telling her that it wouldn't be a problem, considering they had been talking for the last hour or so.

you sighed, deeply, before you decided that there was only one way to get your friend back. you took the blog from your desk and scribbled the words down, before you hung it in your window.

as if he had waited for you to write something, theo stood in front of the window and read your message.

do something you had written, featuring at least 7 exclamation marks.

theo looked at you as if you had gone crazy. why should i do anything to help you?

because i bet enzo is just as annoying, isn't he?

theo only spotted a face that made an answer from him unnecessary. he just nodded and walked away.

"oh, already?" you could hear april ask behind you "no, it's fine. i get it, i'll be waiting" and with that she ended the call.

"i'll be waiting?" you asked, with a quirked brow.

"that was embarrassing wasn't it? i should've just said bye like a normal person"

"well, you're not a normal person" you smiled "and i don't think that you could do anything to make him leave you alone at this point"

"you really think so?"

"of course i do, april" you sat down beside her "why did he have to leave so suddenly?" you tried to not sound suspicious, but you were really curious what theo had done to get enzo off his very important call. luckily, april hadn't even noticed what you had been doing.

"band practice" she shrugged "theo is a strict boss"

"i bet" you mumbled while your eyes were still fixated on the piece of paper in his window. why should i do anything to help you? catapulting you right back to the night a year ago. you shuddered at the thought of it and tried to ban it from your head as fast as possible. theo was a constant reminder of your mistakes and maybe it wasn't him you hated but the realization of fault that hit you anytime your eyes fell on him.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

the garage was filled with thick air that had been warmed all day as the sun beamed down tremendously. theo rubbed the sweat off his forehead as he sat his bag down inside.

enzo walked to the couch to open his guitar case. he halted in his motion and the rest of his friends perked up at his lack of movement.

"no, enzo" blaise muttered "not again, come on"

"it did not do it on purpose" enzo turned around to face his friends and theo looked around his body to confirm what he basically already knew.

"where's your head at?" draco's tone matched the annoyance that was bubbling in theo's chest.

"is that a serious question?" matt laughed "it's deep under april's skirt"

"matt" enzo sighed as he rubbed his neck in embarrassment.

"april hart?" blaise asked "the one you've had a crush on since she moved here in first grade?" enzo nodded and blaise laughed "that's what i call consistancy, mate"

enzo would've probably laughed if it weren't for the bitter look the bands' leader was still spotting. "are you angry?"

theo sighed. "it's the third time you forgot it, enz"

"i know, i'm sorry, theo" enzo brushed a hand through his hair, before he turned in draco's direction “can i lend your car and get it, please? i won't take long"

"are you kidding me?" draco asked humourless "my mother is gonna kill me if something happens to that car. i'll drive"

"i'll come with ya" mattheo stood up from the couch.

"why don't we just all go?" theo asked sarcastically.

"yeah, why not?" blaise smiled, not catching that theo was just making a joke.

"no, i meant-" the group was already walking out to the car and theo just accepted his fate. "why not" he mumbled before he got in the back seat.

enzo was sitting in the middle of him and blaise, while mattheo had been able to plant his arse on the passenger seat next to draco, who was already setting the car back.

"it's so silent" mattheo mumbled "why don't we listen to some good music" he grabbed a cd from his pocket and just a second after, the loud drums and guitar of blood//water, the first song on cursed legacy's debut album floated through the car.

the boys broke into cheering. "you made a cd?" draco asked smiling, while mattheo nodded proudly.

"old school" enzo grinned, but clapped mattheo's shoulder nonetheless.

"hey" draco said harshly "you stay back there" he pushed enzo back into his seat. "i told you guys to hold him" he looked into the mirror and found theo's eyes, who looked not entirely happy, but did as he was told.

the seatbelt of the middle seat in draco's mums car had been broken for a while. she had originally forbidden them from riding in the car with five people, but draco tended to ignore her rule, even if he normally was quite fussy about anything happening to the car, banning drinks and food completely. but theo's car was still getting fixed by his uncle, so it was their only option.

"while we're on the topic of the band" blaise said "did you call that guy back? the one from the record label?" he asked theo.

theo smiled "i did, yeah. thats what i originally wanted to talk to you all about, but enzo was busy talking to the demon's bestie"

"demon is a rather harsh word" draco muttered.

"aren't you guys a bit too old to upkeep that childish feud?" mattheo asked. "you used to tell her everything and now you're not even saying a word about the record label thing"

"i really thought you guys would go back to normal after everything with leo" enzo added and all heads turned to him.

"i told you not to mention him" theo said angrily and enzo slumped down in his seat.

"it's been a year, mate" draco’s eyes found theo's in the mirror.

"it doesn't matter" theo shook his head, before he abruptly changed the topic. "he wants to see us, as the preact of some band in six weeks"

"the record guy? really?" mattheo perked up "thats like super soon"

"he seemed really excited" theo shrugged "this could be our chance guys. we get that deal and in less than a year we're off to america or tokyo and probably recording our second album, while already writing the third"

"as long as our little shakespeare keeps working that won't be a problem" blaise ruffled theo's hair, his hands letting go of enzo, while theo was busy slapping his friends hands away, hence why he also let go of the younger boy in the middle.

"hey! what did i tell you?" draco full on turned around in his seat.

the next three seconds happened all at once. mattheo was the first who screamed. it had taken draco less than a second of not looking to effectively drive off the street and in the direction of the nearest tree. draco turned around alarmed, swerving the car to the side, luckily not driving frontal into the tree. he stopped the car at the same time, what would've been fine, if blaise and theo had held on to enzo again, or if his seatbelt had simply been working.

he went flying trough the car, mattheo's arm darting to the side, to stop enzo flying through the car's windshield. sadly, his force wasn't enough and enzo still hit the dashboard quite hard, but at least he stayed inside the car.

"ow" enzo cried, holding his arm.

"shit, shit, shit" draco muttered under his breath. "is anyone hurt? are you all fine?" his voice broke.

"blaise and i are fine" theo said quickly to calm his friend "but enzo.." all eyes turned to enzo who was laying in the middle of the car, between mattheo and draco, who was staring down at him wide-eyed.

mattheo excused himself to call an ambulance.

"this is all my fault" draco brushed a few tears away from his cheeks "i should've just given him the car, or gotten the guitar on my own, i should've never-" he was interrupted by theo.

"it isn't your fault, draco" he assured "blaise and i let go of enzo in the first place, it was our job to keep him safe and we got distracted"

"i shouldn't have screamed at you like that" draco put his head on the steering wheel, trying to hide the stress on his face.

"theo is right, mate" blaise added "it's on us"

it seemed like draco wasn't even hearing him. "i will probably lose my license"

"you won't" enzo muttered through clenched teeth "we'll say there was a deer"

"i'm so sorry, enz" draco excused, it seemed like he only remembered now that enzo was still laying in the middle, holding his arm. "does it hurt badly? i actually don't care about the license, they can take it, as long as you're fine"

"i think my arm is broken" enzo held up his right arm, which was bloody and looked like it wasn't supposed to be formed the way it was right now.

"shit, enz" draco rubbed a hand through his face, before he quickly opened the door and threw up on the floor.

"the ambulence will be here in ten minutes" mattheo said, as he poked his head through the door. "what is he doing?" he wondered once his eyes fell on draco, who was still hanging half out of the car.

"puking" enzo, blaise and theo chorused.

"gross" mattheo shuddered, before he opened the backdoor of the car. "you guys should come outside, so the medical team can assist enzo better. we shouldn't move him"

"yeah" theo nodded, while he pushed blaise out of the car.

“why did i have to come with you again?” you were walking from the parking spot to the entry of the hospital.

“because someone had to drive the car” april pointed to the phone in her hand, which she had used to try and call enzo the entire way here. her hadn’t picked up so she insisted on visiting him, but not without a few different sorts of chocolate (she wasn’t sure which he liked) and flowers.

“yeah i get that, totally” you rolled your eyes, so that she wouldn’t see “but do i really have to come inside?”

“i need moral support”

“you’re not the one who broke his arm”

“enzo might be happy to see more than one friendly face”

“it’s not like he’s laying on his death bed, april” you nudged her arm “i’m sure he comes home today, we could’ve just gone to his house tomorrow”

“i want to see him”

“okay, fine” you groaned, but followed her inside, where she was already leaning half over the receptionists desk.

“how can i help you?” the lady was rather unimpressed by april’s eagerness.

“we’re here to see enzo, ehh lorenzo berkshire” she quickly corrected.

the woman raised her eyebrows, before she started tapping words into her computer.

“pixie?” a voice called and your head turned to the side. you tried many times not to react to the name, but you sometimes couldn’t help it. theo had been consistent for the last ten years so it was in your nature.

“mattheo” you greeted.

the dark haired boy was holding two cups of what looked like coffee. “they belong to me” he told the lady at the reception. “i’m lorenzo’s brother, i came with the ambulance, you remember?” he waited for some kind of confirmation, but she was already busy with something else, easily going back to ignoring you.

mattheo made a gesture for you to follow him down the hall. “pretty unfortunate, heh?” he grinned awkwardly.

“it’s horrible” april declared “i mean how is he supposed to play? he told me something about a record deal that you guys might get”

“yeah” mattheo looked to the ground, before he changed the topic. “he will be so happy to see you” he smiled at april and april mirrored his expression.

mattheo halted in front of a door. “could one of you..?” he trailed off, as he looked down at the cups in his hands.

“oh of course” april said quickly.

“i should maybe stay outside” you held the flowers and the chocolate in april’s direction, who raised her eyebrows.

“are you kidding?” mattheo laughed unimpressed “of course you’re coming inside. enzo will be ecstatic to see you both”

“her? sure, but me?” you asked unsurely “also, theo is probably in there, so i don’t-“

“he will behave himself” mattheo promised “come on, pixie”

you send him a look. mattheo knew about the nickname as long as it existed and he would only call you that sometimes. theo used it to make fun of you, but when mattheo said it, he meant it in a friendly way. you all had grown up together, naturally as you lived so close and in a small town. for mattheo, pixie was not in insult, but the last bit of proof that you had been friends once. after theo and you had fallen out, you had automatically fallen out with all the boys.

sometimes it hurt you to remember. remember how you and mattheo had spent hours listening to sherlock holmes and climbing trees. or how you had helped draco to read as he was having problems, days when you were washing gum out of blaise’s hair and taught enzo to tie his shoelaces. and theo, theo had always been where you were, he was never far. and everything had slipped away in a single night.

but it was too late to make amends. mattheo knew that as good as you. maybe you all could stop fighting, but go back to normal? probably never.

“hey” enzo raised both his arms when he noticed april and you walk in behind mattheo. “ow” he muttered.

blaise and draco were sitting on chairs on either side of enzo’s bed. theo was standing a bit away from the rest of his friends, leaning against the window.

“what is she doing here?” theo stepped forward when his eyes fell on you.

“hey, don’t talk to my guest that way” enzo pushed theo back, so he was leaning against the window again.

“april needed some help carrying all this” you opened your arms, displaying the different sorts of chocolate and flowers.

“how are you feeling?” april asked, slowly touching enzo’s cheek. “does it still hurt?”

you could practically see the flip switch in enzo’s head, as he realized how much she cared.

“a bit” he said dramatically and his voice dropped a whole octave. “but i think i’ll live”

you exchanged a look with mattheo, who raised his eyebrows at his little brothers dramatics.

“how long do you have to wear the cast?” you asked, while you put the chocolate down on the night stand. blaise immediately took one of them.

“hey that’s for me!” enzo protested.

“we need emotional leverage” blaise rolled his eyes, before he unpacked the chocolate and bit a whole piece off. he then held it in draco’s direction, who took it and started nibbling on it like a mouse.

enzo sighed before he looked back at you “between four and twelve weeks”

“shit” april deadpanned “what about the record deal?”

“okay, are you guys really getting one or are all of you in on a bit i don’t know about?” you wondered. there had been a few too many mentions of a possible record deal.

“no” mattheo shook his head smiling “there’s this guy from the label and he wanted to see us at the preact for a band who plays in the concert hall outside the town in six weeks”

“we can forget about that now” draco whined.

“that’s shit” you looked down “i’m sorry, that’s really awful”

“don’t act like you’re not making internal jumps of joy” theo spoke for the first time since you had entered. “you hated the band from the minute we..” he paused and cleared his throat, before he added “continued”

“you really think i’m that big of an asshole?”

“come on, theo” blaise added “don’t be like this now”

“it must be the first point on that little to do list of yours, huh? what do you want to hear? you were right? we’ll never get famous”

“shut up” you shook your head at him.

“stop fucking lying about the way you feel about my band”

“mate” draco tried to push theo back, who was walking closer to you.

april and enzo were exchanging worried glances as they noticed the tears building up in your eyes.

“theo” mattheo stepped next to his friend, laying a hand on his chest, to hopefully calm him down.

“why did you even come here?”

“i’m only here because of april and enzo” you said between clenched teeth “now stop acting like i’m here to laugh about your misery”

“the band could’ve made it big”

“i know” you simply said.

the others were following the discussion between you attentively, turning their heads, like a tennis match, from side to side, whenever one of you spoke.

“my band could’ve made it big”

you looked up at theo with teary eyes, before you nodded, once, finally. then you turned to look at april. “i’ll walk home” you turned to enzo “get well soon, enzo”

“thank you” enzo replied breathless.

you send one last look in theo’s direction, who gulped as he saw the tears flowing over your cheeks, before you left the room.

“what?” theo asked as he turned around and noticed the angry looks of his friends.

“was that really necessary?” mattheo sighed. “she came here because of enzo, knowing well that you would be here. she wanted to wait outside and i convinced and even told her that you would behave this time”

“you really are mentally seven aren’t you?” blaise asked and theo felt bad that he made your visit to enzo all about himself.

“you know how i feel about seeing her”

“how could we not?” draco muttered “you make it clear over and over again”

“it doesn’t matter anyway, the record deal is through and we can just stop being a band now” theo sank to his knees.

april and enzo exchanged a look, before enzo cleared his throat. “technically you just need a stand in for me”

“what?” theo looked up.

“it’s not over, theo” enzo said “you just need to find someone who can play the parts, or at least learn them in six weeks and after my arm is alright i can come back”

“he’s not wrong” blaise nodded “we just need to bag that deal and the rest is not important right now”

“okay, who?” theo deadpanned “you’re incredible on the guitar, who could we possibly find to be just as good?”

“you know that there is someone who was better” enzo looked down in his lap. the rest of the group grew silent too.

“what has that to do with anything?” theo asked defensively.

april turned her head to look at the dark haired boy. “he taught her” she said. “everything”

“what?” theo asked, not believing what he was hearing right now. “what are you saying?”

“we’re saying that you should ask y/n” draco put it simply.

“absolutely not” theo shook his head “i’m sure we can find someone else”

“you just said that there was no one good enough to stand in for me” enzo noted “she might be our best option”

“even if he taught her” theo added “that was over a year ago, who says that she even still plays anymore?”

“she does” april muttered “she’s good, really good”

theo sighed.

“just ask her, mate” mattheo, who had mostly stayed silent, clapped a hand on his best friends shoulder. “we need this record deal”

“i know” theo sighed.

“she’s a slow walker” april pointed to the door and theo raised his eyebrows.

“go!” his friends all chorused when he did not move. he left the room.

“beg her on your knees if you have to!” mattheo called behind theo, before the door fell closed.

“do you really think she’ll help us?”

“i honestly don’t know” april shrugged “but i’m sure theo has to find a way to go even lower than just his knees if he really wants to beg her”

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leave a comment if you would like to be added/removed from the taglist!

guys i need fic requests for ttpd songs!! check out the characters i write for (request + rules on my nav) and start requesting!!

help why are theo and pixie fighting like an old married couple already 🤭

that's just who they are!! april said it best (little snippet from chapter three):

"it's like you both can't be with or without the other"

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐢 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐯𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢'𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐲

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: theo and you seem to be a pretty good match, until things go out of control

warnings: underage drinking, cursing, trauma (bad relationship with parents), sexual references, depression, fighting, mention of death

note: this is absolutely the most gut wrenching chapter so far! get ready lmao!! and for the people still wondering who leo is: you will find out in this chapter!!

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theo walked you both through a forest, taking weird paths that he claimed to be shortcuts. you giggled anytime he almost fell over a branch and he laughed deeply and almost lovingly as you stumbled against him a few times, because it was already dark.

at the party he walked you around, introducing you to foreign people and it made you heart flutter, that he did not introduce you with your name alone.

"curtis" he said when a blonde and tall boy entered his field of vision "this is my friend, y/n"

"hi, theo's friend y/n" curtis greeted and you smiled up at his tall figure.

"is your band playing tonight?" you asked and curtis nodded proudly.

"i'm the keyboarder" he explained "you will love it, i promise"

you normally hated boys with too big of an ego (maybe because of theo), but curtis was actually lovely and seemed like he meant it in a nice way. he reminded you of enzo and you instantely liked him.

"get your lady something to drink, theo" curtis patted the dark haired boys shoulder before he turned back to you "zero manners, huh?"

you giggled and curtis promised to come back and talk to you after the gig. theo walked you to a small table filled to the brim with different kinds of alcohol.

"what do you want?" he asked and you raised your brows as your eyes glided along the table.

you would rather not drink any alcohol, but there was nothing without it. also, you didn't want to explain why, so you just pointed to the bottle of sparkling wine and watched how theo filled a glass for you.

he took a bottle of beer for himself and walked you back into the crowd so you could listen to curtis and his band.

you had to admit that they were really good, but (and you did not say that to theo or curtis when he came to talk to you later) nothing in comparison to cursed legacy.

you sipped your sparkling wine as theo walked you around the party and talked so some of his friends. there were a few you found pretty funny, boys that reminded you of blaise and draco, as they were dancing weirdly across the dance floor.

and curtis' girlfriend was like a carbon copy of april. she joined you as you watched the boys and couldn't hold your laughter at their ridiculous dancing.

"friends like that keep your soul young" lily had said as she sat down next to you. "i'm lily" she added as she noticed your surprised expression "curtis’ girlfriend"

"y/n" you smiled "theo told half the people here to call me pixie, but don't listen to him, he's an idiot. and i know, i have the exact same friends on the other side of the town"

"so a few meters from here?" lily joked and you joined in on her laughter.

"something like that"

"are you theo's girlfriend?" she followed your eyes that were watching him as he was talking to curtis and another boy you hadn't been introducted to yet.

"no" you shook your head. theo turned his head and smiled at you, before he waved for you to come and join the conversation.

"they way he looks at you tells a different story" said lily as she followed you through the crowd.

you shook your head laughing. lily stepped next to curtis, who threw an arm around her body and you stepped next to theo, who, to your surprise, did the same.

later, theo and you started walking back home. you had said goodbye to the people you had met tonight, while theo had to promise both curtis and lily that he would bring you around more often. lily was so drunk that she almost cried as you told her that you were leaving, which made you like her even more.

you loved people that didn't get aggressive or angry when they got drunk, but rather emotional or funny.

"are you sure this is the right way?" you mumbled as you followed theo through the forest, your hand in his as he took paths that looked like they were not supposed to be walked on.

"trust me, baby" theo laughed and the nickname made your heart flutter. you were glad that he couldn't see your face.

to your surprise you came out of the forest right in front of your houses. the moon was shining down on the street, making it easier to see his beautiful face.

"so much music tonight and we didn't even dance"

"you're right" you smiled "what do we do now?"

"i have something on here" theo said as he took out his phone. "it's a song that was supposed to be on the album, but i scrapped last minute"

"oh" you said surprised "what is it about?"

"you"

you laughed unsurely "so pixie dream girl or daddy issues part two?"

"no" theo said quickly as he shook his head "it's not like that, it's not mean"

"why did you scrap it?"

"because leo was helping me to decide which songs were good enough for an album and i didn't want him to see this one"

you smiled up at him, before you finally nodded. "play it"

he set down the phone and pressed play, before he took your hand in his, one hand on your hip. the song was soft and gentle and you could hear the guitar and dracos keyboard.

"how did you record the guitar if leo didn't know about it?" you wondered.

"i played it myself" theo shrugged and you smiled as you heard his voice. "i wrote the song when you started hanging out with cormac and we stopped spending as much time"

i know a place it's somewhere i go when i need to remember your face we get married in our heads something to do while we try to recall how we met

he twirled you around on the street, moving you away and then back close to his chest again.

the bridge was definitely your favorite part of the song, as you softly hummed along.

there was something 'bout you that now i can't remember it's the same damn thing that made my heart surrender and i miss you on a train, i miss you in the morning i never know what to think about

you didn't want him to know, but you cried a bit. the song was so incredibly beautiful that it made your head hurt. right before the song was over, theo started singing along, supporting the theo from months ago.

about you about you do you think i have forgotten about you? (don't let go)

he hugged you close to his body while you both swayed to the last few tunes of the song.

"that's how you felt? all while i was still there?" you asked him once he had pushed the phone into the back pocket of his trousers.

"it felt like you were worlds away" theo muttered "you were so obsessed with cormac that all i could do was write a song about how you were slipping away"

"i was sixteen and in love" you argued.

"i know" theo smiled "i was too"

you looked up at him in surprise and a bit of hope in your eyes. "and what about now?" you asked

"now i'm seventeen" he shrugged.

"and in love?" you asked carefully.

"deeply" his hands wandered to hold your hip, as you stepped closer to his body. your hands went to his neck. he drew you closer and slowly connected your lips. his lips were soft and warm and they felt like home in a place that hadn't felt like a home in a long time.

he brushed some of your hair out of your face as he deepened the kiss, softly pushing his tongue through your lips. you smiled at that.

as you broke the kiss, he softly leaned his forehead against yours.

"do you want to come inside?" you asked as you pointed to your house.

theo smiled as he nodded. you took your key out of your bag and opened the door. to your surprise, you could hear someone move through the house.

it was well past midnight, so you shrieked in surprise when your mum turned on the light. she screamed at the same time as you did.

you wondered what she was doing up here. normally she wouldn't come out of bed or up here in general. she would spend most days in bed, curled up under leo's bedsheets.

"y/n!" she screamed and you noticed the tears on her cheeks.

"mum" you muttered as you looked back at theo, who was still standing in the entryway, unsure what to do.

"where have you been?" she screamed. "you're soaked!" theo's and your eyes went down your body simultaneously. you were completely dry.

"i'm not, mum" you shook your head "maybe you should go back to bed" you tried to grab her arm but she moved away from your hold.

"i told you not to go out in the rain"

"mum, i didn't, really"

"where have you been all night?" she screamed and winced. "i have been sick with worry! you've been gone for hours, y/n!"

"mum, i-"

"i don't want to hear another word!" she grabbed your hand and pulled you closer. "leo, sweetheart is that you?" she only seemed to notice theo, now that you were not standing in front of him anymore.

you and him exchanged a look. "no, mum" you softly said "that is theo" you turned your head back at him "maybe you should better go"

he nodded at your suggestion.

"leo, sweetheart" your mum called as she saw him moving. theo froze. "where are you going?" you held her in place as she tried to move closer to him.

"go, home, theo" you said "i'll call you"

"where's leo?" the calm in her voice was suddenly gone and she was screaming again. theo turned around alarmed.

"go, i'll call you" you repeated. "you shouldn't have called him" your mother screamed "why did you call him?" she sank down on the ground sobbing and screaming as she held her arms close to her chest. you sat down beside her.

you looked up and saw the sad look on theo's face. "please, go, theo"

he left and closed the front door behind him.

your mother calmed down quickly and you were able to bring her back down to bed. she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and you watched her for a few minutes as you wiped your cheeks to get rid of your tears.

you shared the color of her eyes and hair, the way she used to walk down the street and the sound of laughter, that you hadn't heard since that night a year ago.

you kissed her head softly, before you got up and left the room. "goodnight, mum" you mumbled before you closed the door.

then you walked up to your room. the curtain of your window was open and you saw theo sitting at his window on the other side. you saw him scribble something down on his blog, before he pressed it against the window.

is she always like this?

you shrugged, before you took your own blog and wrote an answer.

not always, but sometimes she freaks out and thinks it's that night again

what is she doing normally? it's the first time i saw her in a year

you weren't sure what to answer. you didn't want to lie to him, but the truth embarassed you.

she stays here

she doesn't leave the house?

no

you could see the same look of pity in theo's eyes as you always saw in april's. she was the only one who really knew how bad your mother had gotten.

i'm sorry you had to see that, you wrote

theo shook his head, he held his hand against the window, as if to touch yours, i'm here

you held your hand against the glass too, as you smiled at his gesture. i know

you sat there for longer than you should have, only going to bed as soon as you couldn't keep your eyes open and were almost falling asleep on the desk.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

sunday was warm and thick and theo came to pick you up. all of you, the rest of the guys and april, went to the lake behind the garage to go swimming.

the sun was relentless but you were so happy that you did not mind.

april and enzo had arrived hand in hand, kissing each other all over their faces, before they announced that they were finally dating. you were more than just happy for them and exchanged conspiritorial looks with theo as they mentioned how they had spend their night.

none of your friends knew about your and theo's adventure from the night before, or the times you had spent in each others embrace. you were glad that they had stopped asking questions about the way you acted after the last time.

you hadn't been sure if you would have been able to lie, but your friends kept their mouths shut, silently smiling and fully accepting the new normal.

theo had send you the demo of about you and you had spent any free minute listening to it. this was your song, the song that was truly about you and you couldn't love it more.

and for now, everything that had happened between you just belonged to the two of you.

theo walked into the garage to get a few more beers as he ran into mattheo, who came back from the toilet.

"hey, mate" he patted theo's shoulder, as the latter bend down to open the fridge.

mattheo's eyes wandered to the window that overlooked the lake. blaise and draco were standing on top of the tree that was hanging over the water, while they tried not to fall down. april and you were loudly laughing as you tried to throw each other into the water. enzo came up behind the two of you and helped to throw april inside, before he pushed you in after her. mattheo watched as your head came back up and you began laughing.

"you have to tell her" mattheo mumbled "the concert is in a few days"

"i know" theo muttered, before he took a big sip from his beer. "but she's so happy" his heart fluttered as he watched you run across the grass as draco and blaise were chasing you.

"all the more reason to tell her" mattheo nodded "maybe she doesn't mind"

"i don't know" theo shrugged "i still lied to her"

"not if you just tell her" theo nodded at his friend before he left the room. mattheo bend down to get a beer for himself, as his eyes returned back to the glass. you were in the lake again and you face lit up as your eyes fell on theo.

you held your hand in his direction, before you dragged him in to the water. mattheo could hear you giggle, followed by theo's warm laughter as he held you close to his body and dipped you down in the lake. "so, that's how it is?" mattheo mumbled smiling as he watched the two of you.

✦•〰〰〰〰〰★🎸☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★〰〰〰〰〰〰•✦

monday came fast and so did the bad weather. it had been raining since the morning and you couldn't be more glad that april and theo both had their own cars so no one had to walk.

"good morning, baby" theo greeted as soon as you sat down in his car. he turned in your direction expectingly, moving his lips. you giggled before you kissed him and he leaned back with a satisfied grin.

on your way to school you picked up draco and blaise who were talking about a switch in the atmosphere. you and theo listened to their blabbering as you exchanged looks with each other.

"this was disgusting" mattheo said as he climbed from the backseat of april's car. she had driven him and enzo to school with her. "two people in love and i have nowhere to escape"

"yeah" draco nodded "i kind of feel the same" blaise and him exchanged confused gazes, not quite realizing what they were talking about just yet.

"should we head to english?" you asked before one of them was able to further think about it.

"sure" april took your arm as she dragged enzo behind her. theo stayed close to you, but did not hold your hand.

mrs walker was on time today and she even smiled as she noticed the friendly conversation you and theo were having. "war is over, huh?" she smiled and you softly nodded.

it was the first time in months that you did not mind theo sitting so close to you. you needed his warmth, as if his and your body were magnets of opposite sides, always pulling each other close.

during class, theo was drawing hearts on your hand with his finger and you wondered when you had forgotten how soft love was.

love was back, because theo was and you had missed him terribly, even before there was that wall of fault between the two of you. you had thought that there was no way to fix what had been broken, but maybe you had been wrong.

theo had felt the same, as he had told you. and he understood you, understood the way you could not have a relationship with your father, the way you felt sad anytime your eyes fell on your mother and why you had taken down every photo of your brother and put them in a box under the bed.

"i take them out when i want to remember" you had told him "when i'm ready to feel him"

"do you think you will be able to hang them up again?" theo had asked.

"i don't know" it broke a piece of your heart that you weren't able to really tell "maybe there will just always be something broken inside of me"

"and your parents?" he had pushed a strand of hair behind your ear "are they broken too?"

"more than me" you had said "that's why i can only be broken at certain times"

theo squeezed your hand before he had to take it away to write something down. you smiled at him, before you started writing too.

suddenly your phone buzzed in the back pocket out your trousers. there were only fifteen minutes of class left, but maybe it was important, so you took it out without mrs walker noticing and opened the message that had been send from an unknown number.

hey, peanut it read and you heart stopped beating. it's dad. how are you? dave called me to tell me about the record deal for leo's band, i heard they're making great music. theo messaged me too, is he your boyfriend? he told me that you needed to talk. call me!! xoxo dad

you stared down at the message and your whole body froze. dave fraser was the guy that was eventually giving the guys the record deal? you knew it had to have been leo who contacted him. and theo had messaged your dad? a thousand questions were running through your mind, but before you got a chance to answer them, another message came in.

i'm sure everything will work out with the deal. dave is obsessed with the guys and pixie dream girl! he told me i should come and listen to them play on saturday. will you be there too? didn't theo used to call you pixie? kinda funny!

yeah, you thought, funny.

"y/n?" mrs walker called "do you know the answer to number five?"

"what?" you muttered as you looked up from the phone in your hand.

"i asked if you knew the answer to number five" mrs walker repeated, but her eyes grew wider as she noticed the tears in your eyes "are you alright?"

you shook your head before you grabbed your bag and pushed your blog inside. "can i please leave?"

"ehh" mrs walker seemed to be caught off-guard before she finally nodded. you grabbed your things and ran out of the room under the confused eyes of your friends.

"excuse me" you could hear a voice call and quickly, steps were following after you. it was theo and you just quickened your pace.

"y/n!" he called. "are you alright?" there were another few pairs of feet running over the floor.

"you can't just all leave class" you could hear mrs walker say.

"it's important" april said.

"we will write an extra essay" enzo promised and you could hear both mattheo and draco groan.

"are you nuts?" blaise said loudly, before he was scolded by mrs walker.

you walked down the steps, theo behind you and behind him april, enzo, mattheo, draco and blaise.

"where are you going?" theo asked, but you ignored him. he followed you outside into the rain, where he finally caught up with you, holding your arm so you had to freeze in your step.

the rest of your friends waited under the little roof before the doors.

"what has gotten into you?" he asked.

"what has gotten into me?" you repeated laughing "what the fuck is wrong with you, huh?"

"what are you talking about?" you both were already soaked.

"you're playing pixie dream girl on saturday?" you asked.

before he could stop himself, theo had already answered "how do you know?"

mattheo hid his face in his hands and enzo groaned audibly.

"so it's true then?" you asked "and i bet all of you knew" you looked behind theo and into the guilt-ridden faces of your friends.

"we wanted to tell you-i mean i wanted to, really"

"yeah, you did? were you waiting for the right moment? taking bets when would be the funniest time?"

"no, you don't understand"

"oh, i think i do" you shook your head as you cried "you're still punishing me for everything that happened a year ago"

"what? no, i'm not" theo almost pleaded for you to believe him.

"did he tell you everything?" you turned to the other boys "how's your next song about me called, huh? y/n's psycho mother?"

"y/n, we don't know what you're talking about" mattheo said.

"oh you don't? well, let me clear things up as long i have the chance to do so myself" you clenched your hands together, you were already shaking from the harsh cold of the rain "what did you miss? my mother has gone completely off the rails since my brother died, my dad and i haven't spoken in a year and i think i have a lot of issues too"

you could hear april cry and the rest of the boys also looked like they were absolutely distraught.

"theo was a great friend" you said bitterly "while i went to him crying, he wrote a song that he knew would hurt me and he still put it on the album. and after i told him i how i felt about it, he claimed it was supposed to help me, while he aired out my dirty laundry to everyone in this fucking town"

"daddy issues" draco muttered under his breath.

"damn right" you pointed in his direction.

"daddy issues is about y/n?" enzo asked and he looked as betrayed as you felt.

"y-yeah" theo muttered "but i did not mean to hurt her"

"that's funny, theo" you laughed sarcastically "did you also not mean to hurt me when you messaged my father?"

"you did what?" april asked angrily and was ready to step next to you, but enzo held her back before she could walk in the rain.

"i know you don't want to talk to him, but i thought-"

"thought you knew my life better than i do?" you asked angrily "the night of leo's death, my dad spent hours screaming at me. my brother had just died and he stood in front of me while he told me how everything was my fault. he was the one telling me that he didn't want to see me again" you raised your arms "but who am i to complain about that, right? at least he's paying his child support, more than he has to actually, or mum and i would live on the street now. because she doesn't leave leo's fucking bed" you screamed in the direction of your friends "she never gets up" you added.

april sobbed and you noticed that all of the others had tears in their eyes as well.

"she's a mess" you muttered "but even she thinks it's my fault. you remember theo? that night in my house, when she thought you were leo? do you know how it feels to come home and she turns on the light and there's a flicker of hope in her eyes, because just for a short second she thinks i'm her dead son? and when she notices that it's me, just me, she just goes back to bed"

"we didn't know" blaise said softly.

"because i didn't want anyone to know" you said "but theo is running around telling people whatever he feels like and all of this will probably be featured on your second album anyway, so fuck it, right?"

"i'm so sorry" theo cried and you couldn't tell what was rain and what were tears on his face.

"sorry isn't cutting it this time, theo" your voice was a lot calmer now "you asked if i will be able to hang leo's pictures up again and the most honest answer i can give you is that i don't know if i could bare to look at his face while knowing that i killed him"

"you didn't kill him" theo argued.

"it doesn't matter to me how you see all of this, theo" you shook your head "just leave me alone, okay? but this time for real. i don't want to see you and i don't want to speak to you" you paused, before you added "because the real reason why we aren't friends anymore is that after everything that happened, you didn't even have the decency to come to leo's funeral. he was your friend, your best friend"

you send one last look in the direction of your friends, before you started to walk away.

theo called your name and you turned your head, but mattheo held him in place. you nodded at him, thankfully. april looked between enzo and theo, before she shook her head and ran after you.

she put her arm around you and let you cry into her shoulder as you both walked through the rain. away from your friends and away from theo, who you swore in that moment, had broken your heart for the last time.

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