I Remember How I Fell In Love With My New Vacuum Cleaner

I remember how I fell in love with my new vacuum cleaner 😍😂

That really is how being in your 30s is like 😭

Azriel: …

Eris: …

Azriel: …

Eris: why do you keep looking at me like that?

Azriel: I can’t decide whether or not I want to choke you sexually or to the death

as someone who got 2 concussions this year and inhaled toxic substances at the workplace i can confidently inform you all that all characters in the star wars prequels are absolved of stupidity. they're all dumb as a box of rocks but its not their fault that no one made them wear helmets in wartime. the introduction of SPOSHA (space OSHA) would reduce incidences of darth vader creation by at least one i just know it

his eyes, his lips, his lashes. I am on my knees

Not all clones are technically the same . Some workout more than others.

OMG... This is so true... And thus so good

I love that the Obikin Breakup was so fucking dramatic that it dragged on for like, 30 years and involved them engaging in multiple acts of immolation, at least one instance of someone being buried alive, multiple attempted murders and one actual murder, and yet the MINUTE Anakin doesn't act like a COMPLETE asshole for the first time in decades, Obi-Wan just immediately is like "yeah OK we're good now; I'll take him back" and yoinked him on over to the Great Beyond.

It just will never EVER not be funny to me. I'll be going about my business and start laughing when I remember that Anakin never even apologizes to ANYBODY before he dies and there's Obi-Wan, all "awww look, he's learned his lesson", like, HAS HE, OBI-WAN??? HAS HE?????? He chucked Sheev into a void, I guess (and, apparently, still didn't even manage to fully finish that job, so, way to go, Anakin), and then he's just like "hey thanks for stopping by Luke, btw tell your sister WHO UNDERSTANDABLY HATES ME A LOT that I was actually nice after all, aaaaaanyways gonna die now don't forget to give me a Traditional Jedi Roast because the Jedi Faith is obviously very important to me byeeeeee" and Obi-Wan is just over on the other side like "yep, cool, gonna just quick grab him as he passes over because that is a thing I deserve he has earned with his noble actions and pure heart."

I need a short story where Obi-Wan just comes clean about the fact that he is completely hopeless and basically deranged about this person and that he hadn't gotten laid in about 4 decades at that point and also who among us hasn't taken their idiot partner back even after they've been murdered by them, hmmm? OH OKAY SURE LIKE YOU'RE ALL SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME, because YOUR life partners are all PERFECT and "haven't killed all those people", well LA DEE DA. Good for you! I don't care! I'm PERFECTLY OKAY WITH MY LIFE CHOICES. You know what you losers aren't gonna be doing? ANAKIN, THAT'S WHAT. KENOBI OUT.