Im Not Sure Which Is Worse: Intense Feeling, Or The Absence Of It.

“I’m not sure which is worse: intense feeling, or the absence of it.”

— Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

just read all your imagines and they are so good!! just on here to req anything hobie brown related cos god that man is so fine. maybe like a one-shot where they are fwb cos hobie doest do labels but gets jealous and then asks reader to be his gf and then shows her off to everyone. just like really anything u want to write tbh ✨✨

end of line | h. brown

description. being friends with benefits with your best friend, hobie brown, is fun and all, but you start to realize that maybe firm labels suit you better than whatever this is

includes. slight smut SUGGESTIVE 16+, fem!reader referred to as “girl”, fluff, sweet!hobie, pav gwen and miles mention, rockstar!hobie

a/n: i have no words this was supposed to be uploaded like a week ago but then i went to disney so ... sorry yall. also not edited well bc ... disney. edit: title from the song by daft punk bc tron <3

word count: 1.7k+

things are still in your bedroom. they always are right before he arrives.

you're not a psychic, nor do you have a "spider-sense" (which, with the creepy-sixth sense way hobie described it, you don't want one either), but you like to think that you can tell when he'll come by.

nights when you haven't heard much from him, but the sirens seemed to never stop outside, were usually when your window would creek as it slid up.

you listen out for the sound now as you finish painting your last nail. you'd used the quick dry polish tonight, in hopes that you wouldn't have a repeat of last time, when your fingernails weren't dried but hobie was incredibly impatient and when you were done, you'd realized that your right ring and pinkie fingers were smudged.

the bottle's closed, you'd blown on your nail to ensure it dried, and that's when your window slides open.

there's no point in looking back at him when he tumbles into the room. he starts mumbling complaints as soon as the window's closed, the sound of his shoes unlacing padding his words, something about some common thief who hobie was going to let go but then he went and messed with the lady on the street and her cat.

you'd lost the tail end of his words whenever he started walking closer to you. you sat up straighter, pushed everything out of the way, and waited for him to turn your chair around.

which, when he did, you looked up at him, small smile on your lips as you stared into his deep brown eyes.

"how's your night, hm?" he asked, a courtesy before getting to the real action.

you shrugged, pretending to think. "nothing. just a lot of this."

"no smashing societal standards? picking off misogynists one by one?"

a small laugh in the form of a snort from you. "nah. figured i'd take a day off, you know?" the sarcasm dripping from your words. that's not who you were. you wish you could've been like that, could've been like hobie. but there's one spider-person for a reason.

"oh, yeah, uh-huh..." and hobie trailed off as he leaned in, pointer finger hooking under your chin to pull your lips to his.

it always felt good to kiss hobie.

you'd fantasized about it for weeks before it actually happened. he's your closest friend at the moment, and he occupied the title before this arrangement even existed. and of course you had the worry about ruining your beautiful friendship if you became more, fear that you wouldn't be able to go back and you would subsequently lose probably the best friend you've ever had.

but that was no need to worry. because while you could let hobie pull you up and lead you to your bed, sitting back and pulling you into his lap while he kissed you with a tenderness you know so well, you could also just be friends with him, sitting side by side on the couch and having a movie marathon of horrible biopics without thinking about jumping each other's bones.

there's a balance here that you could only hope would've existed.

and it's never thrown off. not even when he pulls your shirt over your head and his full lips find your nipples and the slightly-faded marks he'd left a few days ago. not even when he switches your position, laying you back and kissing down your torso until he can bury his head between your legs. not even when you whine and cry just a bit, slightly begging for him to pull his suit off so he can fuck into you in a way that only he can.

you try not to think about the equilibrium of your relationship with hobie when your legs hook around his waist and the heels of your feet dig into your lower back. you try to solely focus on the way his cock fills you up perfectly, mostly long with the right amount of girth for your walls, tip reaching deep within you in an almost mind bending way.

but you can't help but think about the way hobie doesn't do labels when he helps you to your bathroom, where he lets the shower heat up while you sit in a shirt he left behind a few days ago when he'd shown up as just hobie brown and not spiderman. you can't help but think about being hobie's girlfriend when his big, veiny hands run along your skin after the shower, smothering you in shea butter as you struggle to hold your eyes open. and you don't bother attempting to fight off the lasting thought of being hobie's while he hums an unknown song to himself with your head on his chest, the deep sound of his voice and the vibration of his chest lulling you to sleep.

you need to be someone's.

the friends with benefits scenario was fun, it worked, it was glorious, but you don't think it's for you. and labels aren't for hobie.

so, you look elsewhere.

you're at hobie's show, standing in the back of the pub with a drink you weren't interested in, with some guy you really weren't all that interested in, either. but he smelled nice, and he seemed nice, and you were just looking to broaden your horizons just a bit.

you and hobie weren't exclusive, but maybe it's a little wrong to flirt with someone else at his show. but you were slightly upset, and craving attention, so it didn't matter.

not until hobie got off stage.

it took a while for him to roam over to you, but even then you were still entertaining the other guy. giggling, tilting your head, batting your eyelashes, your hip popped out and a manicure, that was still fresh, blinging as your hand rested on the bone.

he greets you with a term of endearment that he uses often, but it feels different in this circumstance. you tell yourself that it feels different because you want it to feel different.

"oi, babe! who's this bloke?"

his arm slings over your shoulder and you tense under it. your hands folding over your chest, your smile tightening a little.

“uh this is steven.” your hand reaches out to point to the man, a tight lipped smile spreading onto his lips.

“steven …” hobie repeats the name slowly, and without looking at him you can tell that he’s eyeing the guy up and down.

the air is stiff, the three of you are silent, and unfortunately, steven takes the hint to dismiss himself, and you instantly turn to hobie, a scowl on your face.

“what the fuck, hobes?” you’re pissed, but the nickname still slips off easily.

hobie shrugs and reaches into his back pocket, a cigarette appearing and he sticks it between his lips. instantly, your fingers pluck it out from his mouth, instead putting it in your own back pocket.

instead of looking upset, hobie looks amused. his hands reach out to grab your waist, and you want to give in, but you try to push his hands away instead.

hobie lets you, and you don’t know if your happy or upset with that.

“what’d you mean?”

you stare at him, deadpan, then gesture to where steven had walked away towards.

“you just cockblocked me!”

a cocky grin, almost a little condescending. “i didn’t ‘cockblock’ you, babes. you weren’t trying to get with that guy.” your eyebrow lifts and you can see realization come onto hobie’s face. “oh … you were?”

“yes! of course i was!”

“but why? you are i are together.”

“sure, hobes, but we’re not ‘together’.”

“yes we are.”

“no, we aren’t.”

“why do you think that?”

you suddenly feel a little insecure, eyes scanning the thinning crowd, ears noticing the way the volume in the pub is lowered. “because you’ve never put a label on it, bee.”

another layer of realization. hobie’s hands coming to your waist again, but this time you let him pull you in.

“i didn’t know we needed a label. but you’re my girl. and i’m your guy.”

your body heats up and you bite down onto your lower lip giddily, peeking up at hobie through your lashes.

"thought you didn't like relationships?"

"labels. i don't like labels."

there's a disruption in the atmosphere. goosebumps raise on your skin, the hair on the back of your neck sticks up, and even if you weren't aware internally, the way the magazine you were previously reading floats above the table would've tipped you off.

the portal opens shortly after, but you knew it was coming. it took hobie a while to tell you that he was spiderman, longer to convince you that he was spiderman, and a while longer to convince you of the existence society, and even though you know, you still get a little shocked whenever a portal opens.

he comes through first, thud of his heavy boots against the floor of his flat. the spoon in your mouth clings against the side of the bowl, your free hand reaches out to the tv remote to pause the episode as you look over at hobie.

"oi, didn't know you were still here." is all he says before he's walking over, pulling his mask off on the way, and leaning down. your head tilts up instantly to meet his lips in a kiss, your body warming with the way his hand pushes into the back of the couch, slender but muscular form caging you in.

you expect him to sit beside you and force you to give a recap of the episode, but he stands back, and then three other people come through the portal.

"oh ... are we expecting guests?" surprise sits in your words, the tone amplified when hobie takes your bowl of cereal out of your hands to finish it off himself.

"right," he speaks through mouthfuls, saying your name as an introduction to the other three. "this is pav, miles, and gwendy. spider people." you nod, waving at each.

"this here, is my girlfriend." three sets of spider-eyes widen with the admission and you can already sense what's coming.

"wow, you're pretty. 's nice to meet you."

"i knew it! i could sense the tension as soon as we got here."

"you have a girlfriend? wait. i thought you didn't like labels."

a small smile on your face as you tuck your hands in the pocket of hobie’s sweatshirt that you were.

in coordination learned from how close you two are, you speak at the same time.

"he doesn't like consistency."

"don't like consistency, mate."

looking after hobie brown with a split lip and an almost black eye and he won’t stop touching you. it’s extremely distracting and you’d tell him so but you’d hate to see the look on his face when you admit he’s flustering you. so you let him be and scrub at the stream of blood trailing from his lip to his chin. you shuffle up his lap (yeah, you’re in his lap, and what about it? he was the one who put you here. he hadn’t given you much of a choice. insisted it was easier to reach and pulled you into him before you could protest) to get a better angle and his fingers press harder into your hips, his grip on you tightening as he tugs you up his lap, somewhat helpfully. you try to ignore the way it makes you feel. the way you’re now practically chest to chest and he can probably hear your heartbeat, it’s so damn loud.

and then, the very tips of his fingers dip underneath the hem of your shirt and brush your warm skin, and you decide you just can’t take it anymore.

“hobie,” you chide, soft and entirely too flustered.

“what?” he says back, dripping with ignorance, and you’d think he was genuinely clueless if you didn’t know him so well. he pushes his hand further up your back, his rough calloused fingers practically burning a mark on your already hot skin.

“quit it”, you say, though you don’t sound very convincing at all.

“quit what, babe?” hobie presses his palm to the small of your back, forcing you ever so closer. you gasp, pressed up against him, your hands braced on his shoulders, but he only smirks knowingly. “m’only helping you out.”

based on this request — my heart, you ANGEL *crying* and god plssss i want this to be me *still crying* 18+ over the clothes grinding; tongue piercing; finger sucking

hobie’s hands are tentatively at your hips, as you hover over, legs either side of him. “stay still…” you say, holding his chin, as he opens his mouth, before quickly closing it and giving you a look.

“are ya sure ya know what ya doin’ there?” hobie asks, still barely touching your waist as he raises his brows.

“i’ve pierced someone before.” you say, holding the disinfected needle, as your thumb comes to pry his mouth back open.

“a tongue peircing?” hobie asks, shifting slightly from underneath you. again so close but so far.

you stay silent, making him completely grip your waist now, your shirt bunching up to reveal skin. “what? don’t trust me?” you ask, staring down at him.

“o’ cause i trust ya…jus’…” he licks his lips, noticing the feel of your soft skin under his calloused fingers, his senses seeming heightened with you so close.

“just…?” you venture, eyeing him. you go to open his mouth again your thumb brushing his lips. “i’ll stick my finger in your mouth if you don’t open it.” you threaten.

“that’s a bit erotic, babe.” hobie says with a tilt to his head, making you harshly pull it back to place.

“you want a tongue piercing.” you all but state. “yes, i do.”

“and you don’t want a professional professional to do it. is that right?”

“thats righ’.” hobie grins. “then why are you being so difficult?”

“cause ya lil distracting, luv.” hobie answers smoothly. “actually…” hobie pauses, his ringed fingers moving to put pressure on your hips, forcing you down, so that you settled completely on top of him.

“hobie—“

“well, hurry up.” he hums, opening his mouth. “i don’t see how that made a difference…” you mutter, while in fact you very much noticed the difference. you could entirely feel him, and it made you gulp. you were just friends of course…nothing weird about this…

you slightly shift to get comfortable, making hobie’s grip on you tighten. you graze the needle over his tongue making him shiver. you were so close.

“alright…now hold still…” you stay focused while hobie stays distracted. he could feel you too, through your flimsy shorts that you wore for sleep.

yeah…he could definitely feel your warmth, as the sharp end of the needle came into preparation. “now you have to promise me you won’t move. because otherwise I could seriously—“

“i trust ya, luv.” he mutters out, you having left his mouth to let him speak. “well, i don’t trust you…” you mutter back.

he grins, his chest heaving a fraction heavier, as you lean closer moving to pry his mouth open. he liked the feel of your fingers practically inside his mouth, especially as you held his tongue, his spit getting all over your skin.

then you take a breath, piercing his tongue with one quick jab, making hobie’s grip on you become deathly. he then—as if to soothe the sting begins to rub his hands up and down your sides, under your shirt, as his head knocked back, muttering curses.

“come back, i’m not done.” you say, ignoring the arising goosebumps, as you pull his chin down. but as you added the bottom of the metal ball to his tongue, securing it, hobie’s hands began to wander.

down, down, down your body, until he pushed past the band of your shorts making you stiffen. his mouth was still open, as you went to pull your hand away, when his teeth came gently down onto your finger.

you met his gaze, your heart pounding as hobie began to move your hips along him making him groan. “h-hobie…”

you could feel the drag of your pussy, and so could he, as his full lips then wrapped around your finger, his tongue swirling around the tip, as his eyes closed in bliss.

with a slight open mouth, your now wet fingers still close, he muttered. “i needed somethin’ to soothe it…your fingers a cold.”

your breathing hitches. “a-and what about…this.” you look down at your moving hips along his crotch. he chuckles, your fingers still in his mouth. “jus wanted to see how it felt.”

his hands pressed you harder into him, forcing you to move quicker, making him pant around your fingers. “and it feels good…babe…mhm…so good.”

- 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑-𝐌𝐀𝐍: 𝐀𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑-𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐒!

𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫-𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲. 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠.

𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐬𝐨 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠!!!

𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 • 𝟏𝟐𝐭𝐡 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

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𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 ➵ @//the-dumpster-fire-of-life

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𝘔𝘐𝘎𝘜𝘌𝘓 𝘖’𝘏𝘈𝘙𝘈

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𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 ➵ @ghost-with-a-teacup

𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰 ➵ @ronwestbreeze

𝐥𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 ➵ @spoiltsilk

𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐜 ➵ @buryustogether

𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 ➵ @certainlynotasimp

𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 ➵ @milequaritchsslut

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫 ➵ @quaintii

𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐞 ➵ @st4rymoon

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ➵ @//intoxicated-chan

𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐠, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 ➵ @//gh0stsp1d3r

𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 ➵ @intoxicated-chan

𝘏𝘖𝘉𝘐𝘌 𝘉𝘙𝘖𝘞𝘕

𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ➵ @renoed

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𝐧𝐨 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ➵ @//dizscreams

𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 ➵ @gh0stsp1d3r

𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰 ➵ @fabled-fiction

𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥 ➵ @ronwestbreeze

𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 ➵ @periprose

𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 ➵ @spidcrhunni

𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 ➵ @hanasnx

𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 ➵ @//gh0stsp1d3r

(𝐦𝐲) 𝐧𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 ➵ @neo-nomatrix

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐤 ➵ @fabled-fiction

𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐞𝐛 ➵ @thesharktanksdriver

𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐥 ➵ @apocalypse-shuffle

𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 ➵ @msgorillagripcoochie

𝐩𝐬 • 𝘪 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘱𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘪 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘴𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵.

𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘣𝘰𝘹 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘺. 𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪’𝘮 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘵𝘳𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 :)