I AM C R Y I N G

I AM C R Y I N G

Nigel Farage got milkshaked again, what a time to be alive

I found out that a friend I was decently close with had sexually assaulted another friend, and she was so afraid to tell me about it that she had a third friend approach me to feel me out. It turned out he'd been trying to manipulate me into defending him, and also he'd been lying to me about other stuff.

I took GREAT SATISFACTION in writing an absolute masterpiece of a "you are dead to me, now fuck off into the sun forever" email.

So yeah. Friend breakup emails can be real fucking satisfying

sometimes I think I want the formality of romantic breakups applied to friendships ending but then I remember how much formal friendship breakups suck and haunt you ten times longer

I'M DOING IT

So true

BUT ALSO

Non passing trans masc (I TRY but it never fucking works), and I get treated like a woman who refuses to conform to gender norms and is thus In Need Of Corrective Violence.

I've been lucky that being white and bougie means that the violence is almost always emotional. But I've also been straight up abused.

So yeah gtfo with that shit. Trans femme and trans masc solidarity or bust

Here's a key part of the transfemme experience that is very overlooked: when you don't pass, people don't actually see you as a man, or treat you like a man.

Last February, I found out that I'd lost my ability to connect with my audience for publishing tabletop games, and my brain, being dumb and stupid, decided We Were Done Making Games Then. (I know it's stupid. I don't get it either.) I didn't make a single thing that wasn't for work for nearly six months.

Late August last year (not sure of the exact date), I said fuck that, and started making notes for a novel inspired by a friend's weird, wild, and wonderful multiplayer journaling game about witches. It was finished before the end of the year, and after EXTENSIVE revisions is currently being queried with seven literary agents (not including the one who already rejected me).

AND NOW, I've just finished writing the last scene of a SECOND novel, a sequel, and it feels SO. GOOD.

I'd say I don't know what demon of productivity possessed me, except that's not true. It's NICE pouring my energy into cozy stories about weirdos like me, who are too weird and broken to fit into any of the usual boxes we draw around sexuality and gender. It's NICE writing honest depictions of mental illness and trauma fucking up people's relationships, and having people find happy endings anyway. And it's NICE writing meaningful, found family relationships that matter just as much as the romance. There's so much completely unavoidable, awful, tedious bullshit in the world that I have to wrestle with as a trans person. It's healing pouring my feelings about that into something positive.

Two novels in less than a year! Man. Now I just need someone to publish them so I can share these wholesome disaster bisexual dumbasses with the world.

(NGL, I also had a lot of fucking fun writing the smut. That was pretty good too.)

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later