xielian-autism - clinically insane (this is your only warning)
clinically insane (this is your only warning)

hi im sai/leo, i use he/she pronouns i am a genderfluid queer person who is clinically insane . i haven't used tumblr since the 7th grade so if i do something silly thats why. im a loser who likes poetry and books (crazy over tgcf & mdzs) and i like anime, mitski, and eating sweet things ok thats all

132 posts

Posting This Here As Well Cus Ill Most Likely Never Work On This Again

Posting This Here As Well Cus Ill Most Likely Never Work On This Again

posting this here as well cus ill most likely never work on this again

  • elekslawliet-blog
    elekslawliet-blog liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • matsinko
    matsinko reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • scribblingmyproblemsaway
    scribblingmyproblemsaway liked this · 3 months ago
  • grushanna
    grushanna liked this · 3 months ago
  • hualian800hob
    hualian800hob liked this · 3 months ago
  • faerydae-faerydae
    faerydae-faerydae reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • solarsquids
    solarsquids liked this · 3 months ago
  • lintsins
    lintsins liked this · 3 months ago
  • jojea
    jojea liked this · 3 months ago
  • popqorn
    popqorn reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • popqorn
    popqorn liked this · 5 months ago
  • classic-fantasy-lover
    classic-fantasy-lover liked this · 6 months ago
  • foul-cupcake
    foul-cupcake liked this · 6 months ago
  • micherrim
    micherrim reblogged this · 7 months ago
  • moderatelysocialistkoala
    moderatelysocialistkoala liked this · 7 months ago
  • gothpvp
    gothpvp reblogged this · 7 months ago
  • adragonthatwrites
    adragonthatwrites liked this · 7 months ago
  • anxindaoshi
    anxindaoshi liked this · 7 months ago
  • happilyscreechinginfluencer
    happilyscreechinginfluencer liked this · 7 months ago
  • doravinta
    doravinta liked this · 8 months ago
  • fierastorm
    fierastorm liked this · 8 months ago
  • dexsaves
    dexsaves liked this · 9 months ago
  • mobabe-jun
    mobabe-jun reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • babblelove
    babblelove liked this · 9 months ago
  • alphabetsouppredictsyourdoom
    alphabetsouppredictsyourdoom liked this · 9 months ago
  • miniatureromulus
    miniatureromulus liked this · 9 months ago
  • idealsynamora
    idealsynamora liked this · 9 months ago
  • yglesbian
    yglesbian liked this · 9 months ago
  • te1epathy
    te1epathy reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • fuwafuwarin
    fuwafuwarin liked this · 9 months ago
  • inactive-blog-2024
    inactive-blog-2024 liked this · 10 months ago
  • vwwitch
    vwwitch liked this · 10 months ago
  • suramarcity
    suramarcity liked this · 10 months ago
  • axenwattle
    axenwattle liked this · 10 months ago
  • 5000stars-in-reach
    5000stars-in-reach liked this · 10 months ago
  • moondustjean
    moondustjean reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • localizationed
    localizationed reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • localizationed
    localizationed liked this · 10 months ago
  • lmdds
    lmdds reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • bloooop-p
    bloooop-p liked this · 10 months ago
  • s-rolldown-s-fork
    s-rolldown-s-fork reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • s-rolldown-s-fork
    s-rolldown-s-fork liked this · 10 months ago
  • diablitocachudo
    diablitocachudo reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • diablitocachudo
    diablitocachudo liked this · 10 months ago
  • anya-studies-blog
    anya-studies-blog liked this · 10 months ago
  • damnablywell
    damnablywell reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • flaming-orca-lilly
    flaming-orca-lilly reblogged this · 10 months ago
  • cookie389
    cookie389 liked this · 10 months ago

More Posts from Xielian-autism

1 year ago
A Kiss

A kiss 七九


Tags :
1 year ago

Luo Fenghua

Luo Fenghua

Tags :
1 year ago
Thinking About The Shi Wudu-he Xuan-shi Qingxuan Conflict In TGCF And Realizing Their Characters Are

thinking about the shi wudu-he xuan-shi qingxuan conflict in TGCF and realizing their characters are just nie huaisang split into three. a nhs deluxe edition if you will


Tags :
1 year ago

shen yuan likes yue qingyuan, the post

i've documented 19 moments featuring sy!shen qingqiu's feelings for yue qingyuan with the express purpose of showing those who think that sy!sqq doesn't like yqy that they are factually WRONG

this is a long one so buckle up, grab a snack, get a drink, etc etc

number one

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

as it's the usual with shen qingqiu, the first thing he notices in a man is whether he's handsome or not. and here you go: the first thing he sees upon waking up from getting isekai-ed is a handsome, elegant young man looking at him with concern. we do know how shen qingqiu likes that look on pretty men (he likes it a lot)

i also want to point out that yue qingyuan is the first pidw character shen yuan meets. he's already linked to him, not only because he's shen qingqiu's martial sibling, but he's also intrinsically tied to shen yuan's rebirth, to the moment he opens his eyes to the pidw world for the first time. keep this in mind.

number two

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

upon getting up to date on wtf happened to him and learning his new identity, the second thing shen qingqiu does is worry about yue qingyuan's fate. he doesn't even know him yet and is already giving him the blorbo treatment. why is that? oh, maybe because he likes him???

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

do you know how many characters shen yuan was "rather fond of"??? not that many i tell you. he's only derailed from worrying about whether he'll cause yue qingyuan's death because the system gives him a little sneak peek of the human stick scene.

so up to this point sy!shen qingqiu has characterized yue qingyuan as a brother type, an amicable, elegant and handsome man, a bleeding heart, too good for this world.

number three

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

now we add 'considerate' to the many praises shen qingqiu extols on yue qingyuan. the man has to be really busy with all the sect leader work he has to do and yet he makes time to visit shen qingqiu regularly. we know why yue qingyuan does that, but shen qingqiu won't learn about qijiu's backstory until much later, and right now it doesn't matter. the fact remains: shen qingqiu is grateful to the point of tears to have yue qingyuan. even if he doesn't talk about it, we can theorize that he feels a bit lonely: he's a stranger in a new world, like a newborn baby. he may be obsessed with luo binghe but at this point of the story he still hasn't got time to bond with him. so the person shen qingqiu first latches on immediately after his transmigration is yue qingyuan.

number four

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

"how dare that scumbag shen jiu not treat his shixiong like the god he is, with the kindness and respect he deserves? well i'm not the same, so i WILL treat yue qingyuan better!"

(it's the intention what counts, okay? we know he kind of fuck ups a few times and gives yqy much stress)

also love how shen qingqiu says "brotherly covenant", he really values familial bonds, and he'll come to treasure his bonds with all his martial siblings really quickly.

also, may i point out that shen qingqiu decides to be a good shidi for yue qingyuan and treat him well without any "ulterior motives"? it's not even tied to his survival. he's a kind person by nature, yes, but he doesn't even try to convince the reader that he's going to be a good martial sibling for selfish reasons, which was the case with liu qingge. he just up and decides that yue qingyuan deserves his respect and consideration. he officially adopts yue qingyuan as his big brother.

number five

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

"at home in the atmosphere of brotherly love", do i need to say more? yue qingyuan makes him feel at home in this new world, he's comfortable around him. his presence soothes shen qingqiu.

number six

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

furthermore, yue qingyuan reminds him of the brothers of his first life, but the sorrow he feels for losing them is overpowered by a "comforting sense of warmth" so great it makes him feel cheerful. this is the scene where yue qingyuan welcomes him back upon his arrival from the skinner demon incident. in that scene, the first thing they do is smile at each other. shen qingqiu is happy to see him.

he's surprised when yue qingyuan takes his wrist to examine his spiritual circulation, but when he notices what yue qingyuan is doing he instantly relaxes. yue qingyuan's touch doesn't bother him at all.

see how yue qingyuan's presence is often linked to feelings of comfort, warmth, home, brotherly love, joyfulness? keep this in mind too. don't you dare to forget it.

number seven

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

this is post-demon invasion, while they are discussing the effects of without a cure. shen qingqiu is making good on his word of treating yue qingyuan better than his predecessor, by tamping down yqy's tendency to blame himself for everything.

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

"i understand that yue qingyuan is genuinely worried about me, unlike SOME PEOPLE, so i have to reassure him in case he decides to be more stressed than normal"

bonus: 7.5

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

("the three of them" refers to shen qingqiu, mu qingfang and yue qingyuan)

i want to quote this part too, because i can, and because this scene in the donghua was 100% faithful to the novel. just another reminder that shen qingqiu likes martial siblings.

number eight

now we're coming to the siblings-coded moments

exhibit one: "oh oh i figured it out so i'll say it before you do"

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

i want to point out that shen qingqiu says "obviously", because from his POV yue qingyuan only does things for a good reason. shen qingqiu idolizes him.

number nine

siblings-coded moments exhibit two: "i know how to make you let me do what i want"

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

we've jumped 3 years, this is the prelude to jinlan arc, and this is how their relationship has evolved. shen qingqiu knows what he has to say for yue qingyuan to allow him to go to jinlan. this is a method he's used the past, of course, because this isn't the first mission he went on after getting poisoned or after the IAC.

+bonus: 9.5 yqy being a mother hen

(this is the day after lbh chased him around jinlan)

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

number ten

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

shen qingqiu has just been accused of abusing his disciple, consorting with demons, murder, and being demonic cultivator wu yanzi's disciple. yue qingyuan almost starts a fight right there and there because they want to take his shidi away, but shen qingqiu stops him and his other martial siblings before it can escalate.

he gives yue qingyuan a deep bow. we've already established he respects yue qingyuan a great deal. he's ashamed that he's caused yue qingyuan so much trouble and grief, because he really cares about him, and his opinion of him, and he genuinely didn't want to be like the original who made yue qingyuan suffer a lot. shen qingqiu cares about his sect, about his martial siblings, and about yue qingyuan to the point that he GIVES HIMSELF UP to be imprisoned.

this is plot relevant! remember it, because shen qingqiu only feels ashamed and guilty when he thinks he has wronged the people he loves!

on that note:

number eleven

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

(this is when luo binghe is laying siege to qiong ding to recover sqq's stolen body and sqq, in the mushroom body, sees his sect siblings for the first time after five years)

number twelve, AKA THE ULTIMATE QUOTE

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

"the one who placed first" YOU HEAR THAT? YUE QINGYUAN IS THE PERSON HE ADMIRES AND REVERES THE MOST. AND NOT BECAUSE HE LOVED SHEN QINGQIU, IT'S NOT AN ADMIRATION BORN OF A SELFISH FEELING. it's because yue qingyuan is The Protector. THE BLEEDING HEART. he admires his kindness, his self-sacrificing nature, and even if shen qingqiu doesn't know, this are traits they have in common.

number thirteen

siblings-coded exhibit 3: when your other little brother tattles on you to your older brother and you're planning revenge

Remaining seated, Yue Qingyuan looked at him. “A lot of nonsense you’ve stirred up these days,” he said mildly. “Are you done?” Yue Qingyuan had never assumed such a severe attitude when speaking to him before, even going so far as to use a word like “nonsense.” This was already the equivalent of a flogging. It seemed that Liu Qingge had badmouthed him quite thoroughly. Shen Qingqiu swore that one day he’d steal Cheng Luan and use it to chop all the pork hock in all the kitchens of the Twelve Peaks. He’d chop until the oily sheen smothered all its sword glares!

so yue qingyuan being mad at you feels like the equivalent of a flogging. i get you sqq. like when my mom or my brother are mad at me i really feel like crying. anyway. it's hilarious that sqq is planning on stealing chen luan because liu qingge allegedly tattled on him to yue qingyuan.

it's obvious that shen qingqiu recognizes yue qingyuan as a figure of authority in his life, he respects him and as i said before, he cares about what yue qingyuan thinks of him.

number fourteen

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

we know that shen qingqiu's unconscious actions say a lot about him as a person, and the fact that he unconsciously took a step towards yue qingyuan speaks volumes. he's practically wavering between following yue qingyuan or staying with luo binghe.

this will not be the first time he hesitates to go with luo binghe on the face of yue qingyuan's request/order to stay with him. and in this case, he does stay with cang qiong because the situation has gotten pretty bad.

He didn’t know how long he could hold the others off, and he absolutely couldn’t abandon this mess of a situation and escape with Luo Binghe. Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge had been brazen with their show of bias, and Wu Wang was already furious. Either Shen Qingqiu or Luo Binghe had to stay behind, or open conflict would erupt between Zhao Hua Monastery and Cang Qiong Mountain.

yue qingyuan and liu qingge just protected him in front of everyone, so he chooses to stay with them. shen qingqiu is incredibly loyal to them, and most importantly, he doesn't want cang qiong mountain to get into trouble because of him.

this is as good a moment to remind you all that in a lot of instances cqm = yqy in shen qingqiu's mind. obviously there is also the other peak lords and the disciples, but this is important. it isn't just because yqy is the sect leader. yue qingyuan was the first martial sibling he met, the one that welcomed him to the world of pidw and the one that kept him company those first days post-transmigration.

+ bonus: siblings coded exhibit 4:

yqy, out loud so others hear: you're grounded also yqy, whispering: let's have dinner and watch a movie once we get home, what do you want for dessert?

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

i can't stop laughing

+ bonus 2: parallelisms

(this moment is right after shen qingqiu has learned of shen jiu's past and woke up after being unconscious for 5 days)

When he next opened them, what filled his vision instead was a white bed curtain, its corners decorated with tassels. At the sudden change in scenery, Shen Qingqiu froze in place, surprised and unable to react—at least not before he heard Yue Qingyuan’s voice beside him. “Awake?” Shen Qingqiu mechanically blinked a couple times. His throat felt a bit dry, but he forced out his voice. “Zhangmen-shixiong.” (...) Shen Qingqiu awkwardly sat up. Suddenly, he thought this scene was a little familiar. The first time he’d woken in this world, Yue Qingyuan had also been at his bedside, watching over him.

number fifteen

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

so shen qingqiu knows he can get away with disobeying yue qingyuan and doing whatever he wants because yqy will forgive him anyway, and yet he chooses to respect yqy's decision and authority. of course he'll later convince yue qingyuan that he should allow him to go, like he's done many times before, but he won't deliberately disobey his zhangmen-shixiong.

so later, when they're on their way to maigu ridge, he tries to convince yqy that he must go with them. this is when yue qingyuan gets THIS CLOSE to locking him up in qiong ding hall.

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

now this is officially the only time yue qingyuan has done something remotely yandere-y adjacent. and not without reason! shen qingqiu died by self-detonation, then he returned after 5 years, then he was taken by a demon emperor, then he spent 5 days unconscious etc etc. he's admittedly very worried that shen qingqiu will die on him again, this time without a miraculous return. and the best thing? shen qingqiu doesn't know what to do. he didn't know whether to reach with his sword or not, whether to fight yue qingyuan on this or not. he wants to listen to yue qingyuan, but he also wants to go save the world.

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

and EVEN when he's finally allowed to go to Luo River, he hesitates again when he notices yue qingyuan may be struggling!

number sixteen

the reveal at maigu ridge's scene is really long, quoting it all would be a complete nightmare. so i'll just tell you to go read it because it reiterates some of the things i've already pointed out:

-shen qingqiu worrying about yue qingyuan

Thinking he was fine, Shen Qingqiu let go, but once he did, Yue Qingyuan didn’t remain standing for long before he unexpectedly collapsed again. Shen Qingqiu blanched with shock, then hurried to help him up again. “Zhangmen-shixiong? Zhangmen-shixiong?” After a brief examination, even with his superficial medical knowledge, he could tell that Yue Qingyuan’s current condition was horrible.

-shen qingqiu feeling guilty for causing yue qingyuan trouble

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

-shen qingqiu almost crying because of qijiu's tragic story and because it breaks his heart seeing yue qingyuan like this

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

number seventeen

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

i pointed out earlier that shen qingqiu idolizes yue qingyuan, and this is the first time he sees him so weak, which understandably makes him panic a lot. shen qingqiu thinks yue qingyuan is being talkative because he's dying, but shen qingqiu is having none of it

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

sobs shen qingqiu is so desperate to keep him alive.

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

+ bonus 3: yet again shen qingqiu's heart breaking for yue qingyuan

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

number eighteen

shen qingqiu, post-maigu ridge, wakes up, and upon remembering that he'd left zhangmen-shixiong in a pretty bad situation, he runs out of the lingxi caves in a panic.

you don't know how much this scene makes me feel

like, the moment luo binghe is out of the picture, yue qingyuan's safety becomes his main worry

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post
Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

then when he finally sees him, he's so happy that yqy is fine!

Shen Yuan Likes Yue Qingyuan, The Post

number nineteen: the goodbye scene

But even though he was the sect leader, Yue Qingyuan didn’t go with them. Instead, he stood in place, silently staring at Shen Qingqiu. For some reason, it became comparatively more awkward. As if testing the waters, Yue Qingyuan said, “Xiao-Jiu…” “Shixiong,” said Shen Qingqiu, “it’s Qingqiu.” Even though it would be too difficult to tell Yue Qingyuan the truth, Shen Qingqiu still hoped he could demonstrate the difference in other ways. Yue Qingyuan was stunned for a bit, then gave a small smile. “It’s Qingqiu. Qingqiu-shidi.”

i think this is the first time they've ever been awkward with each other. shen qingqiu says it would be difficult to tell him the truth, whether because the system won't allow him or because it'd be emotionally stressful for him to do so we don't know; but he still wants to mark the difference between the original and himself anyway, because he doesn't want to deceive yue qingyuan.

“What are your plans for the future?” asked Yue Qingyuan. “I have no plans for the time being,” said Shen Qingqiu. “First I’ll wait for Luo Binghe to return and see how he’s doing.” Yue Qingyuan smiled. “You truly adore that disciple.” Shen Qingqiu was searching for a way to answer when Yue Qingyuan said, “Shidi, Cang Qiong Mountain will forever be a place to which you can return whenever you tire of wandering the outside world.” These words were said with utmost sincerity and solemnity. Yue Qingyuan had always been this way. Whatever he promised, he would definitely deliver. And what he couldn’t deliver, he would endeavor to make up for, no matter the cost.

after learning of his past, after all that's happened, shen qingqiu's admiration remains unwavering. their relationship has become more complicated on account of the ghost that haunts it, but if anything, shen qingqiu's feelings for yue qingyuan have only deepened with this new understanding.

After assuming the role of this novel character, Shen Qingqiu had always refused to become the scum villain from the original work. He’d drawn a clear boundary between them and taken great pride in walking the opposite path. So never before had he felt such a powerful and impulsive thought: If only he really were Shen Jiu. If only that person could really hear these words.

but his heart still breaks for yue qingyuan and shen jiu and what they have lost.

[Luo Binghe] stood utterly alone, without a single person beside him. When the people walking past saw his face, their own faces filled with all sorts of expressions. Shen Qingqiu involuntarily ran forward a couple of steps, then turned his head to look at the person behind him. “Go on,” said Yue Qingyuan. He stood behind Shen Qingqiu, silent and with good grace. It was as if one was the past and the other the future.

this is the last interaction between shen qingqiu and yue qingyuan in the main novel. before leaving with luo binghe, he turns back and silently asks for yue qingyuan's permission, his approval.

it's like getting your family's blessing before running off with your paramour.

this is yue qingyuan to shen qingqiu: the person that stood by his side from the moment he was reborn into the world of proud immortal demon way, the steadfast, strong and reliable older brother that gave him a family and a place to call his, that has fought for and defended him against all his enemies to the detriment of his own reputation. shen qingqiu respects, admires and will try to do what yue qingyuan says, because he's the only authority figure shen qingqiu recognizes in this life. even if yue qingyuan's care was born out of his feelings for shen jiu, shen qingqiu can't stop caring for him, being grateful for his presence and the comfort it gave him throughout all these years. even after learning the truth, his only regret is that he can't bring shen jiu back so yue qingyuan and him can get some closure.

that's love, my dudes.


Tags :
1 year ago
Surprise Kiss

Surprise kiss 💋 七九


Tags :