HUUUGS

HUUUGS

fuck papa louie and his stupid fucking burgeria. ive been THE ONLY COOK IN THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN BUILDING for 3 WEEKS. and JUST NOW, AT RANK 14, they call me “sandwich builder”. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? I AM THE ONLY GODDAMN PERSON ON THIS SINKING SHIP OF A FAST FOOD PLACE. COOK YOUR OWN FUCKING BURGERS PAPA EAT MY ASSHOLE

Portal 2's Turret Opera still hits soooo hard as a closing point for Chell and GLaDOS' story dude. Right after a monologue about how after everything they've been through she realizes she's incapable of killing Chell, GLaDOS has actually.. set up a perfect, inescapable death trap. She could've easily had the turrets shoot through the glass, sent the elevator all the way back down to Old Aperture or simply gassed her without letting the elevator even leave her central chamber. She basically had her. She could've obliterated her while she was still out cold from fighting Wheatley, but she doesn't. Instead, she has them perform an opera about walking as far away from science as possible. An opera that's implied to have been rehearsed even before Chell broke out with Wheatley - was she considering doing this long before Chell went out to try and kill her again?? This is very blatantly me steering into headcanon territory, but I like to think this whole room was the "REAL surprise with tragic consequences" GLaDOS spoke of. I imagine this is exactly what she originally planned to do - give her false hope by having her ride an escape elevator only for it to stop right in the middle of a massive turret ambush. She would literally treat Chell like a fish in a barrel. Quick, easy and delightfully painful. Each instance where she escaped was either due to oversight or third party intervention - so she created a situation where none of that is possible. All that would arrive to the surface and see the sun is a bullet-riddled corpse. But that's not what the elevator brings to that dingy faux shed in the end. I wonder what she's done with this room after the elevator made its ascent. Do the turrets still stand there, waiting on the off-chance the elevator goes back down with a familiar face within? Do they still sing the same song, over and over, hoping she'll hear it up there? Do they think of her, does she think of them, does she think of her? If Chell were to step back in, would GLaDOS even have the heart to let that elevator go back down? Either way, they'd still be down there, gathered for someone that may never ever come back. They'll all be faithfully standing at their usual spots in the chambers, ready to lovingly shoot her again should she be back to test forever.

when the necromancer expects you to be risen as soon as they cast the resurrection spell and doesn't even let you have half an hour for phone in grave