Lights Out, Words Gone

Lights Out, Words Gone

A/N: So, there was an attempt, by me. Heh. I'm just really trying to get back into creative writing. I used to enjoy writing, but no one told me that turning that into a career and years of writing newsletters and articles for corporate dulls the mind and at this point, even journaling feels like a chore. But if you found this fic and somewhat enjoyed it, I'm grateful.

***

It's ridiculous, you think to yourself. How can someone be easily disarmed by a smile?

One minute, you're furiously driving at 2 a.m. to pick Yoongi up from a dive bar hours where you live, ready to cuss him out; the next, you're giggling next to him after he told you the lamest joke you've ever heard.

"Y/N, what did the full glass of water say to the empty glass of water?"

In no mood for his shenanigans, you slide the glass of water closer to him. Unperturbed, he continues with a grin, "You look drunk."

You let out an annoyed sigh. The joke doesn't even make sense, and yet, because it's Yoongi's gummy smile and his contagious giggles echo off the empty glasses and fill the booth, your mood shifts.

Suddenly, you snort a laugh. Hearing your amusement, his giggles turn into hearty laughs, and you follow.

Another minute passed, and as he catches his breath, you feel yours winded. Feeling compelled to break the silence, you tease, "Did you steal that joke from Jin?"

Not waiting for an answer, you usher him out of the corner of the bar he hid himself in. He lets you push him out as he weakly argues, "Did not. I thought of it myself. I can make funny jokes too, you know." You hum in response, amused by the pout forming on his face.

***

Sobering up during the drive to his home, Yoongi trudges straight to his bedroom. You follow, wanting to at least make sure he's tucked in with a bucket on his side of the bed—a precaution lest he hurls his guts in bed.

You eye Yoongi as he grabs a shirt from his drawer and take that as your cue to leave, but you stop mid-journey out the door when he says,

"Stay the night."

What.

"Yoongi—"

"And if you think I'm letting you take the couch, I'm offended. You can sleep here."

A beat passes. His outstretched hand still holds the folded shirt towards you. "It's not like we haven't shared a bed before."

Oh. He meant…

"Remember hell weeks shared in Jin's fancy dorm room? You snored like a fucking berserk honking truck." He attempts a chuckle, probably remembering those younger versions of you whose only problems were exams and thesis defense.

The nostalgia hits you, and you quip, "Ya! I remember Jungkook and I pulling an all-nighter for all those times. It was actually you who loudly snored." You snatch the shirt from his hands but still mumble a quick thanks.

Again, you hear his giggles.

***

Laying stiff beside him, you almost succeed in willing your mind to slip into dreamland when you feel his side of the bed dip.

"You awake?" he asks. "I am now," you huff. You open your eyes to adjust to the dim room, the only light source coming from the street lamp post outside his bedroom window and the tiny static light of your charging phone on the bedside table.

"I just…" he starts, "I wanted to thank you for picking me up. The guys were either out of town or probably too deep in their sleep to hear their phones."

"Yes, well… I was on the other side of the town and deep in sleep when you called." You weren't sure what your point was. Probably wanted him to know that you know he definitely did not call anyone else but you tonight.

But of course, he knows that you know. He knows he can't bullshit you. Not when you used to spend every waking moment since you met in college. Years of friendship synced you together—getting used to one's idiosyncrasies, being able to read each other across the room, and sharing the same opinion on all things you deemed important.

"And yet you still came. I'm surprised you actually picked up after weeks of radio silence."

"I actually thought it was one of my booty calls," you joke. He doesn't laugh or react, but you continue, "It's not like this is out of the ordinary. It's fine. Get some rest, Yoongi."

Thinking you ended the conversation, he suddenly confronts you, "Why did you suddenly cut me off?"

Ah.

Now, you consider if he orchestrated the whole thing. Trying to corner you so he could finally confront you. It wouldn't be out of his character.

"I didn't cut you off," you lamely defend yourself. Hoping he lets it go.

But he holds out.

"Right. So you suddenly dodging calls and missing weekly hangouts is what?" His voice remains calm, but you would miss how it sounds heavier if you hadn't known him for years. Each word is weighed down with pent-up emotion, and now those fueled words hit you like bricks.

"I've gotten busy. Everyone did after graduation."

He shifts a bit closer to you. "You know, even in the dark, I can tell when you're lying, right? I may not see how your eyes get shifty, but your voice has that lilt at the end when you speak. Almost as if you're also trying to make yourself believe in your lie."

You can already feel the onset of a headache from your lack of sleep, but what's more pressing is how your heart dreads being this close to him again, even more so now that you're being called out and you have no excuse. At least nothing good enough to pass Yoongi.

As the minute passes, the silence thickens, and you feel yourself growing even more tired. It could be from the drive, lack of sleep, or that you just fucking had the most mentally-draining shift just hours before that you finally resigned with honesty. Besides, now that you take a glance at his curled-up form beside you, you admit that he, at least, deserves to know why you distanced yourself.

Yoongi has been your best friend for years—the one who made sure to look into your eyes as he encouraged you to take the extra classes because if you thought it would help you secure the job of your dreams, then he believed it would pay off in the end, and you needed to believe that, too.

Yoongi, who held your hand when you went through mental and emotional hurdles. You honestly believe you wouldn't be here now, living and breathing, had it not been for him.

If only the way you looked at him stayed the same, and how his hands felt in yours remained unnoticed, like those days when he held you as you hurled your guts at bar restrooms because you either failed or aced an exam.

If only your feelings didn't root themselves in what you thought was your uninhabitable heart and grow its tendrils over the years of laughing, crying, and sharing even the most mundane moments with Yoongi.

And so you will be honest, but you don't know where to start other than offering an apology.

"I'm sorry, Yoongi. I fucked up."

He doesn't respond but motions for you to continue, "I fell in love with you." How cliche.

You hear him let out a sigh. Out of relief or disappointment, you're unsure.

A minute passes. Oh god. You should leave now. Leave because it's what you're good at; at least now he knows why.

But before you could stand to your feet, he breaks the silence, "Then I fucked up, too."

Afraid Of The Dark

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: A small blurb about Yoongi comforting the Reader, who has an intense fear/anxiety of the dark.

Warnings: slight angst, depictions and mentions of anxiety attacks, not proofread

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this, sorry it took me so long to get to. I hope you like it tho!

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Yoongi was no stranger to your anxieties. You had explained your phobia of the dark to him quite early on in your relationship, following a minor incident while walking you home after a date late one night. You’d been trying your best to stuff down your building sense of unease, but Yoongi had quickly noticed your growing tension and asked about it.

You’d been slightly embarrassed, feeling it was a silly thing to be so afraid of, especially as an adult, but he’d been nothing but understanding, reassuring you that everyone had things that scared them or made them uneasy, there was nothing to be ashamed of.

He always tried to make you feel comfortable and safe at his place, making sure to leave an extra light or two on throughout the house when you stayed over, even buying a special night light for your bedside table.

Whenever your anxiety got really bad, he would do his best to help comfort you and remind you that you were safe. He knew that there was only so much he could do when it came to deep seeded fears like yours, but if there was something he could do to ease your suffering even a little bit, he would do it without hesitation.

He’d seen the weather reports earlier in the day saying there was a chance of power outages due to the storms and strong winds passing through the area, causing his own anxiety to rise, knowing you were home on your own, but he tried to focus and get his work done as quickly as possible. The sooner he was finished, the sooner he could get home to you.

When he did get home, all the lights were on, but the house was quiet, making him wonder if maybe you were already asleep?

As he neared your bedroom, however, he could hear you sniffling, making his stomach drop.

“Y/n?” He called softly, not wanting to startle you as he pushed the door open, his heart breaking as his eyes landed on you.

You were wrapped up in one of your favorite blankets, curled tightly in on yourself, tear streaked face barely visible peeking out of your little safety nest.

“Oh, Baby.” He said softly, immediately coming to your side. He climbed into the bed with you, balancing himself on the edge of the mattress so that you were facing each other, pausing to make sure that it was okay before wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“Has it been a bad evening?” He asked gently.

You nodded, trying to stem your tears, but your breath kept catching in your throat.

“I’m sorry, Angel.” He said, wiping your face. “It’s okay, I’ll look out for you now, yeah? Can you do your 3 3 3 breathing with me?”

You nodded again, cuddling closer to his chest.

“Okay, deep breath in, 1 2 3,” He sucked in a slow breath, which you followed. “Hold 2 3, breathe out 2 3…”

He led you through the routine a few more times until your breathing steadied out, rubbing your shoulder soothingly the whole time.

“Feel any better?” He asked, still in the soft tone he always used in moments like this.

You nodded, your voice coming out in a tiny whisper. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for, you did so well.” He told you, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “Everything’s okay.”

“I just couldn’t stop thinking about if the power went out.” You admitted quietly.

“It’ll be okay,” He reassured you. “We’ve got flashlights in the bedside drawers, remember?”

You slipped a hand out of your blanket cocoon to reveal you were already tightly clutching one.

“Always so prepared.” He grinned at you proudly. “See? We’ve nothing to worry about. I’m here, you’re here, even Holly’s here.” He said, noting the small dog curled up behind you on the bed, watching over you diligently. “Let’s think about something else for a bit, okay? You wanna hear about how Hobi almost got into a fight with the table in my studio?”

“What?!” You looked up at him in confusion.

The full story was just that Hoseok had caught his shoe on the corner of the table and tripped, but Yoongi wanted to distract you, adding more than a few embellishments until you were curled into his chest again, shaking with laughter until a yawn slipped past your lips.

“Do you think you’ll be able to sleep now?” He asked with a small grin.

You hummed, smiling up at him. “If you’re with me, yeah.”

“Where else would I be?” He kissed you softly. “Goodnight, Angel.”

“ ‘Night, Yoongi.” You yawned again, suddenly drowsy. “I love you.”

“Love you more.”

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

years from now, they’ll say,

“who are these guys on the walls?”

and i’d tell them, “people that saved my life.

they’re family just as much as you are.”

i was born to be a girl who is so in love with everything and yet so incredibly afraid of everything at the same time

If yall just read the fanfics i write in my head before i fall asleep i would be so ao3 famous smh

⁂ 8/100 days of min yoongi | PTD LA