Seventeen Getting Caught Masturbating

seventeen getting caught masturbating

seungcheol being caught masturbating by you was the last thing you expected tonight. seungcheol’s eyes widen in surprise before he quickly hides under the sheets, biting his lip in embarrassment. you can’t help but smirk as you approach, your hand wrapping around his cock through the fabric. his hips buck involuntarily, eyes rolling back, “oh god,” he moans desperately, unable to control himself. “you’re gonna make me cum,” he moans all sulky :(

jeonghan’s usually composed demeanor crumbles. he’s shyer than he thought he’d be, yet he keeps his eyes glued to you, stroking himself. “help me or leave,” he whispers, his voice shaky. you move closer, and his breath hitches, knowing he’s close to the edge just from your presence.

joshua gasps, scrambling to dress himself. but your presence in the doorway, that sly grin on your face, stops him. he hesitates, then slowly starts to undress again, uncertainty and arousal blending in his eyes. “don’t just stand there,” he mutters, cheeks flushed, “come here.”

junhui’s reaction is almost comical in its speed. he covers himself in an instant, but when he realizes you’re not buying it, he gives in, voice soft with a plea. “can you help me?” he asks, his need evident. you oblige, and the gratitude in his eyes is unmistakable as he falls apart under your touch.

hoshi doesn’t notice you at first, too lost in the sensations, eyes closed as he bucks into his hand. when he finally does see you, he screams, making you jump. even then, his hand doesn’t stop, a muffled moan slipping past his lips as he covers his mouth. “please,” he whispers, and you can’t resist helping him finish.

wonwoo when you open the door quietly, not expecting the sight before you. his body tenses immediately, his eyes wide with embarrassment. without his glasses, he only sees your silhouette, and he’s terrified. he scrambles to cover himself, but it’s too late. he mutters a quick, “sorry,” before bolting to another room, leaving you speechless in the doorway. the sound of a door slamming shut echoes down the hall. after a moment, the bathroom door opens, and there he is, dressed and composed, but still visibly flustered. he approaches you hesitantly, his hand reaching out to yours, and you know exactly what that means. “I guess I have no reason to be shy, right? after all, you seemed to like it...”

woozi immediately sulks, glaring at you. “you said you’d be home late,” he grumbles, but his grip on the sheets betrays him as you step nearer. you take him in hand, his protests dissolving into moans. “f-fuck, i’m so embarrassed, so embarassed” he stammers between breaths, but his hips don’t stop moving.

minghao is indignant at first. “don’t you know how to knock?” he snaps. you start to apologize, backing out, but he quickly changes his tune. “wait! c-can you help me?” he asks, his voice small.

mingyu is caught in the most embarrassing moment—right as he’s cumming. he barely has time to react, the embarrassment and orgasm hitting him simultaneously, his face contorting in pleasure as he finishes. “why did you have to walk in now?” but the way his body trembles shows he doesn’t reaaaally mind.

seokmin is too horny to care about embarrassment at first. “please help,” he begs immediately. once he cums, reality hits, and he runs away, all embarrassed, sulking about being caught in such a compromising position. “i can’t believe i asked you for help,” you can’t help but chuckle at his retreating form.

seungkwan tries to play it cool, pretending he hasn’t seen you, but you both know better. his face burns with embarrassment, yet there’s a flicker of something else. he knows you’re enjoying the sight, and he’s counting the seconds until you join him. “you like what you see?” “you gonna help or just watch?” he finally says, his bravado wavering.

vernon covers himself with a pillow, staring at you with wide eyes and pink cheeks. “help?” you offer, and he doesn’t even let you finish before saying, “yes! … please.” his voice is soooft! almost a whisper, but the need is clear.

chan grips the base of his cock tightly, trying to stop himself from cumming. “y-you scared me!” he exclaims, eyes wide as you close the door behind you. he gulps as you walk closer, his breath hitching. “are you going to finish what you started?” you ask.

Oceans and Engines | Joshua Hong

⇢ word count: 15.2k ⇢ pairing: svt's joshua hong / hong jisoo x female reader ⇢ song inspo: oceans & engines by niki ⇢ tags&warnings: exes to lovers!au, fluff, angst-ish, idol!au. fluff central. just thousands of words of self-indulgent fluff with little to no plot. ⇢ synopsis: when hong jisoo left his beloved hometown at 18 years old, he also left you, his proclaimed great love. it takes another 7 years for you to catch up to him again and close the oceans in between you. ⇢ notes: this was a self-indulgent fic i wrote in one night that i have not edited. there's a lot of parts missing that i hope to add in one day;; i added a list of songs all by niki at the end of the fic- please listen to them! they are so beautiful and what inspired me to write this fic. here's a link to the playlist if you want something to listen to while reading. 10/10 recommend btw 

18 YEARS OLD, LOS ANGELES

His bags are packed in the corner of the room and you choose to ignore them as you focused on the warmth of his arms wrapped around your torso and entwined with your hand. His desk is empty and you choose to ignore that as you matched his shallow breathing behind you that filled the silence in the air. Your heart is beating out of your chest and the feeling was piercing through your every thought and emotion.

Joshua's blinds are cracked open and visions of pink, orange, red and gold paint the picture of Los Angeles' sunset onto his bedroom wall. You think it's the most beautiful sunset you've seen in your life and if it was any other day, you'd tug on Joshua's sleeve and beg to take a car ride down to the beach with a blanket and your hearts on fire.

"I love you," he whispered for the millionth time in an hour, "I always will."

"I know," you whisper against his soft skin again. tears pooling at your lash line again, "And I love you, Jisoo."

The silence falls again and your eyes dart over to the ticking clock. 5 hours to go.

"We'll make it work," he mutters, pressing his lips on the crown of your head, "You'll always be the one for me."

You just nod absentmindedly and choose to believe everything he was saying. Neither of you knew what was to come. Neither of you knew what to expect.

"Let's just enjoy our time with each other," you plead, "I'm going to miss you, Jisoo-ah."

"6000 miles," he utters the painful reminder of the distance that was to become of the two of you, "That's nothing for us. We can do that."

You squeeze his fingers laced in yours and press a kiss to the side of his neck, ever the more realistic one in your relationship, letting your eyes flutter shut as you felt the thumping of his heart under the palm of your hand. We'll be fine, you thought to yourself.

-

25 YEARS OLD, SEOUL

Life was about seizing every opportunity that came to you; an old friend had taught you that. When you were presented with a lucrative deal on a golden platter, there were no options other than to say yes.

That was how you found yourself in a new country and a new continent, with just two suitcases and a dream to fulfil. You weren't the most confident about the situation; you had been picked up from the comfort of your own city that you had spent the entirety of your life in and plonked across the world in a city where you knew no one. Well, no one that you spoke to anyway.

You had touched down at the airport on a rainy Thursday and crashed at your apartment in the city for two days before you could find the energy to explore your new home. Three days of café and museum hopping and tourist destinations exhausted you and you turned up to your first day at work shattered but nervous.

The HYBE building was three train stops from your apartment and entirely formidable, standing tall with 19 floors above ground and you were entranced as you walked into the lobby. It was sophisticated, modern and futuristic; a definite step up from the 4-floor walk-up studio you had been working at for 4 years.

"Y/N?" a man dressed in cargos and a loose t-shirt had called out to you, waving the hand that was perched on the information desk.

You gave a shy grin, knowing exactly who the man was in front of you, "Hi, Dohyeong!"

"It's nice to see you again. I've been tasked with showing you around and showing you the ropes here," he began, gathering a bunch of papers on the desk.

You bowed deeply, knowing that this man in front of you had made everything happen. Kwon Dohyeong, AKA Slow Rabbit was one of Big Hit and Hybe's in-house producers. His connections to the main producers at your studio meant that he had travelled to Los Angeles frequently and that led to the two of you working many times over the years on many tracks- K-pop or not. When Big Hit's only in-house female producer departed the team, they were in search of someone who could fill the large void she had left. Dohyeong had been the one to advocate and advertise you to the higher-ups and that was how you found yourself as the new in-house producer at one of the biggest and most affluent companies in the world.

"I'm so grateful to be here," you said sincerely.

"We're the lucky ones," he chided at you, handing over your lanyard, "Here's your pass around some of the doors. Most of the doors actually require face recognition too so we need to set that up before you can get anywhere. Security here is really tight because we need to protect the artists."

"Having the most popular artists in the world must come with some challenges," you agreed as you watched a large screen in the foyer flicker through some of the artists housed at the building. BTS, Tomorrow x Together, Enhypen-

"We should get going. There's a lot to tour," he tore your eyes away and began walking, "So there are 19 floors. The first 7 are for entertainment production. That's where the studios are. 8th to 16th are offices, so you won't find yourself there much, but the gyms are on the 14th to 16th floors. There are some lounges and meeting spaces right at the top. It's really nice there but gets quite busy. The rooftop is really cool too."

He passes a few security checks at some automatic doors before the two of you are stepping into an elevator with a plethora of numbers to press. He presses the 7th floor.

"Do you ever get lost?"

"All the time," he laughs, "It's actually like a maze. I can pretty much only navigate the floor with the studios and the cafés at the top. Really great coffee up there, by the way."

The elevator dings open and you're met with a series of closed sliding doors. He punches in a code this time and takes you down a corridor.

"We all get our own studio here. And there are a lot of empty ones for the artists, should they want to experiment with producing. Yours is just here," he stops in front of a door halfway down and then looks around, "Mine is down the other hallway. This one across from you is Universe Factory; it's like 3 studios in one. So this hallway can sometimes get noisy."

"Noisy? Why?"

He points to the sign next to the door that reads Universe Factory. Woozi. Bumzu. Kyuhoon. "Woozi from Seventeen? The boys come here to record everything so their sheer presence up and down this hallway is generally quite loud."

You swallow the nervousness that had been building up in your throat. Of course, you wouldn't get very far from him in this building. You guessed your path would cross one day, but you didn't imagine he'd be working right outside your studio.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. I'll have my headphones in all the time anyway," you dismissed, wanting to move the conversation along, "Can I peak at the studio?"

He smiled at you, seeing the excited glint in your eye, "Go ahead. Welcome to your new home."

-

A knock comes at your door three days later. By this time, you had settled into the studio and figured out the equipment that was miles ahead more advanced than what you had at home. Most of the in-house producers had dropped by your studio to greet you as you would all be frequently collaborating. Most of them.

"Hold on," you call out, hoping they'd hear through the very reinforced walls as you slipped your headphones off and paused the track that you had been playing around with.

You opened the door and your stomach dropped.

"Hey! You're the new producer, right? I'm Woozi- I work here," he points to the door behind him, "I just wanted to say hello and apologise in advance for the rowdiness that's about to happen. We're about to start recording for our next album. We have a comeback in a few weeks, but we already have to record the next album!"

You give him a weak smile, "I'm Y/N. And it's no worries. I won't hear a thing."

"Adora used to always complain," Woozi chuckled to himself, "I'll send the boys over with some gifts to tide you over when we start."

"No!" you immediately exclaimed before seeing the perplexity in his face as you caught yourself, "I mean- you don't have to do that. You guys must be very busy. I'll be just fine- don't worry! Good luck on your recording!"

Woozi was a perceptive person. He definitely knew you were trying to send him away- but for what reason, he didn't know. He gave you a final smile, "Okay, well I'll head into my studio. Give me a knock if you ever need anything."

"Will do. Thanks," you breathed out before closing the door behind you.

What a complete disaster.

You thought you had managed to avoid the situation and ward off the Seventeen boys for the time being. When they began recording the day after, you were pleased to find out that their noise wasn't entirely distracting if you had your headphones on, but you had to schedule your trips out of your studio according to the noise level outside.

That was how you had been having lunch at 3 PM for the past 3 days since the Seventeen boys were in and out of the recording studio until then, which was when you assumed they went to the practice rooms three floors down.

You had been working for a little over a week and were delighted with your new role, aside from the feeling that would erupt from your stomach every time you heard footsteps outside. You had met all the producers and worked a little on a couple of tracks with them while continuing to conjure up some of your own in hopes for them to be picked up by someone.

You were safe, until you weren't anymore.

"Y/N," a familiar voice called behind you. Shit, you thought they'd be gone. It was 5 PM already.

You turned around and smiled, "Woozi. What are you doing here so late?"

"No dance practice today so we're recording for longer," he shrugged, "Where are you off to? Home?"

"Just getting a coffee from upstairs," you gestured to the lift at the end of the hallway, "Gonna stay for a bit longer and try to finish up some tracks."

"You're gonna have to let me hear your music sometime. I'm a big fan of what you have out," he grins at you, "I'm actually going up too."

He knew who you were? That sounded... dangerous.

"Jihoon-ah, wait up," a figure emerged from Woozi's studio as the door clicked shut behind him. Blonde and mighty, Yoon Jeonghan was bounding towards the two of you, "I want a drink too."

"No coffee," Jihoon scolded, "Messes with your voice."

Jeonghan put his hands up, "I just wanted tea. My voice is getting scratchy," he turns to look at you, "You must be the new producer! I'm Jeonghan."

"Does everyone know there's a new producer?" you grinned awkwardly, "Y/N. Of course, I know who you are."

"We just know that your studio has been vacant for a while and we were wondering who we'd come and annoy next," he teased, "Y/N. What's your last name?"

Uh-oh. You could lie, right? You should, right? Just in case.

Jeonghan's eyes flickered down to the name badge that also held a picture of you without the mask you were adorning, "Y/L/N. Wait. You seem familiar. Have we met?"

"Hyung, that's greasy. Don't flirt with our new producer," Jihoon elbowed him in the side as the three of you walked into the elevator and Jihoon pressed the number for the café.

"I'm not flirting!" he defended as his eyes scanned over you, "I feel like I've seen your face and name before."

"I wouldn't know where," you retreated to the corner, timid in stature, "I've only been here a week. Maybe you've seen some of my music?"

Jeonghan's shoulders deflated, "Hm, maybe."

A silence fell on the three of you in the elevator as it shot up towards the top floors. Jihoon was tapping his feet on the metal floor to a beat and you were anxiously playing with your fingers, praying that Yoon Jeonghan did not know who you were.

The elevator door dinged, signalling that you had reached your floor at the same time Jeonghan reached his eureka moment. As soon as the doors opened, you began to make your escape, "Nice to see you guys. Bye!"

"Wait!" Jeonghan called out after you, "You're-"

You had fled around a corner before he could finish his sentence.

"Hyung, what was that?" Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows at the older man.

Jeonghan turned to his bandmate with a solemn stare, "Jihoon, that's Shua's ex-girlfriend."

-

Jeonghan's knock came two hours later. You could say you didn't expect it, but you hoped he would come and talk.

"Oh you're still here," he breathed out in relief, "Can I come in?"

You looked past him, confirming there was no one around before opening your door wider and gesturing for him to come inside.

"Can we talk?" he took a seat on the couch pressed up on the wall, "I feel like we should talk."

"We should," you hummed as you took your seat on your spinning chair and faced him.

"You're who I think you are, right?" Jeonghan began cautiously, "Y/N. From Los Angeles."

"You're right," you affirmed nervously, "How do you know who I am?"

"I've heard a lot about you. I feel like I know you already even though we'd never met," he chuckled to himself.

"He talked about me? I'd only met Vernon a few times on the phone all those years ago."

"Well, not by choice. I forced a lot of it out of him because I was curious and I'm his best friend, but eventually, he'd just start talking about you to me on his own. I'm probably one of the only ones who know about you past your name," Jeonghan recalled, "Maybe Minghao since they talk over wine a lot. Those two definitely know more about each other than they let on. But I've seen pictures of the two of you. That's why I recognised you."

"Ah, I see."

You bowed your head, looking at your folded hands in your lap and unsure of how to feel that Joshua had talked about you past your break up.

"My question is, Y/N, does he know? That you're here?"

You met his eyes again, "Does he need to?"

"It's been a while since the two of you have spoken right?"

"7 years," you recount, "Give or take."

"I think he needs to know," Jeonghan advised, "I won't tell him anything if you don't want me to but what happens when you two run into each other one day in the hallway? What happens when he focuses his eyes too long on the name plaque outside your door while waiting to go into Universe Factory? What happens when you produce a track for us and need to record with Joshua? It'd be best for your reunion to take place somewhere private."

You sighed, "I know I'd run into him eventually or have to confront this situation. I almost didn't take the job out of respect for Joshua and keeping my distance, but this is all I could dream of," you gesture to the equipment and the studio behind you, "I don't know how Joshua'll react, to be honest."

"How do you want him to?"

You pause and think about Jeonghan's words. Did you want Joshua crying, scooping you up in his arms and sobbing about how much he'd missed you? Or would it be easier for him to loathe your existence and newfound proximity?

"I don't know," you mumble.

"Do you want to see him again?" Jeonghan presses on, "He's in the studio right now. About to be done with recording."

You gulped at the thought of seeing your ex-boyfriend once again for the first time in 8 years. You hadn't been prepared for this, but you don't think you ever will be. Besides, getting it out of the way was probably the best option.

"Yes. I do."

-

Another knock. It came just 20 minutes after Jeonghan had set off to get Joshua and prepare him. You look through the peephole to find Jeonghan grasping the arm of your ex-boyfriend adorned in a hoodie and sweats. He looked adorable.

You opened the door slowly, keeping your body behind and protected.

"Don't be nervous," Jeonghan cooed as he tugged Joshua inside, "Shua, meet our new producer."

"Jisoo-ah," you exhaled, meeting the eyes once more of the person you loved with your entire being, "Hi."

Your heart was beating out of your chest. Your head was spinning. Your hands were clammy.

Joshua's mouth parted in shock as he looked between Jeonghan and you. And then his gaze fixed on you, "Y/N."

"I'll leave the two of you to it. Don't get back too late, Shua," Jeonghan winked at his best friend and swiftly exited, leaving the two of you in a silent room standing and staring at each other.

You were the one to break the silence, "I know this is a bit of a surprise- a bit unexpected, but-"

You didn't really have an ending to your sentence and a quietness filled the space in front of you. He was standing two feet away, but it still felt like 6000 miles. 

"What are you doing here, Y/N?" he said incredulously, "You're our new producer?"

"Surprise?" you uttered awkwardly, "Dohyeong from Big Hit scouted me to replace Adora as an in-house producer. I couldn't say no."

Joshua's mind flashed back to all those nights in your small room where you'd be messing around on Garage Band and he'd be on your bed cooing sweet words into the microphone attached to the laptop, "Of course. This is a dream come true for you. I'm proud of you."

"You are?"

"This has always been your dream, hasn't it? Get out of Los Angeles and be a big producer," he recalled, "Guess we're both living our dreams now."

"Yeah, I guess," you smiled softly to yourself.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" his eyebrows pulled into a furrow.

Your heart ached, "I didn't think we were on speaking terms, Joshua. I know I should have since I'm working in the same building as you, but I didn't- It was hard."

"My mom didn't say you were moving here. She just said you were moving far away."

"Your mom still talks to you about me?"

You knew that Joshua's mother used to update him about you fresh from your breakup, but you didn't think she was still doing so 7 years later, especially after she stopped talking to you about him. It was probably your fault anyway. It was probably how your entire demeanour dropped and something clouded over your eyes when she mentioned his name. That was around the time she stopped inviting you to dinner at their house; she had found you once grasping a picture frame on their mantel- one of the two of you at your middle school graduation. 

"You're the daughter she's always wanted," Joshua smiled thinly, "I know it hurt her to distance from you when I left."

You remembered the day one month ago when you approached her at the end of a church service and told her that you'd be moving far away, hopefully permanently. She had pulled you into one of her famous tight hugs and stroked your hair the same way Joshua used to, telling you that she always knew you'd achieve your dream. Sure, your job in Los Angeles was cushy and it was probably beneficial due to artists all over the world coming to the city to work with producers, but you wanted out. You had been born and raised in the same place, and you wanted a change. 

"I didn't tell her," you admitted, "In case she would tell you."

He folded his arms together and squinted, emotions unreadably, "So I found out like this? By Jeonghan recognising you and effectively forcing you to tell me? Were you going to tell me?"

"Of course," you defended, "I just didn't know how. I don't even know how to contact you and how was I explain to Jihoon that I needed to talk to you without seeming like an ill-intentioned obsessive fan?"

"You could have asked my mom for my number," he deadpanned.

"Oh," you snorted to yourself, "Didn't think of that."

He was still standing on the same spot by the door, afraid to move any closer, "Well, I'm glad you're here, Y/N. Don't be a stranger."

- 

"He what?"

"He left! He just left! He told me 'don't be a stranger' and left without giving me any way to contact him," you screeched to your best friend over the phone.

Her mighty laugh rang through the speakers and into your bedroom the next morning. You had just got up, about to get ready to go to work, but it was just the evening the day before for her, "Y/N, you're so screwed."

"Screwed? Why?"

"You're working in the same building as your great, lost love," she pointed out, "How do you think that's going to play out?"

"He's not my great, lost love," you snorted in denial.

"Okay, tell that to your songs then," Yoona drawled, "All of your songs."

Rolling your eyes, you chuckled, "Come on, Yoona. He's an idol and I work in the same company as him. We're not getting back together. And he definitely does not have any feelings for me anymore; it's been 7 years. Is he even allowed to date?"

"I heard Pledis doesn't have a dating ban. Plus, it's been 7 years for you too, but you're still in love with him. He could be in the same position."

"I'm not still in love with him!" you yelled in defence.

"I've never heard such bullshit, Y/N. You haven't dated a single person in 7 years. What does that say about you?"

"I've been on dates!"

"You've been on a trillion first dates," she reminded you, "Never a second. There was always something wrong with them. 'Oh, he lives too far away.' 'Oh, he doesn't have a car.' 'Oh, he doesn't like the beach.' 'Oh, he doesn't sing.' 'Oh, he didn't open the car door for me.'"

"I had standards, Yoona."

"No, Y/N, you had Joshua. And every person after you compared to him. You still do. You wouldn't date anyone too distinctly different from Joshua, because they weren't him. You wouldn't date anyone that was too similar because they just reminded you of him. Admit it, all you wanted was him."

Her words targeted your heart directly as you looked back on the past 7 lonely years.

"I have to get ready for work," you said quietly.

"Okay. I love you, Y/N, but it's going to be hard living in denial like you have been for 7 years when he's so close to you now."

You ended the call, feeling worse than you did at the start of the call. Yoona knew everything about you; she had been one of your closest friends since the start of high school, so she knew you for about 5 years of your long relationship with Joshua. She was the one that held you together through the sophomore year of college when your relationship fizzled out and got too hard. She had been the one to make sure you were taking care of yourself when all you wanted to do was lie in bed, curtains drawn and reminisce over every picture you had of your love.

She knew you better than you knew yourself, and she was right. It felt like in 7 years you never confronted and came to terms with your feelings for Joshua. All you did was write archives and archives of songs about him, without internalising all the lyrics you wrote about letting him go. You would spend countless sleepless nights penning lyrics of your relationship and then recording them, only for no one to hear and to be stored in that dreaded 'for you' folder on your laptop.

Whatever, you thought as you peeled away your covers, you had to go to work. 

You quickly made yourself presentable, as if you hadn't been tossing and turning all night about your reunion with your ex-boyfriend, and got on the train to the building. You spent the 5-minute ride with your ears plugged and your earphones blasting your favourite artist to distract you from your thoughts. It was no good reminiscing. It never did your heart any favours. 

"Good morning, Y/N," Dohyeong stepped into the elevator with you, "How was your night?"

"Didn't get a lot of sleep. So tired," you mumbled.

"You wanna get coffee upstairs?" he offered, tone friendly.

"Maybe later. I just wanna get into the studio already. One of those days where you're overflowing with ideas."

He smiled, "Those days are good."

The elevator stopped on your floor and the two of you got out, pausing briefly to say goodbye as you split into different hallways. You prodded along to your studio, turning on the lights and all your equipment as you placed your bags down. Immediately, you felt your body relax in the environment. Your studio would always be your safe space, no matter if it was your laptop and mic in your childhood bedroom, your box of a room in downtown LA or this high-tech one in the middle of Seoul. You could feel all your worries dissipate as you slipped on your headphones and loaded up your software. 

An hour later, you heard a knock at your door. It took you a few moments to reach it, but when you finally opened the door, there was no one there. There was just a coffee cup placed on the floor on the holder and a chocolate bar. Picking it up, you furrowed your eyes.

The label read that it was an iced hazelnut latte; your favourite. How had Dohyeong known your order? It must have been that time you got coffee in the first week.

'Have a good day :)' was written on the side of the cup, and all seemed like such a nice gesture. 

Up until you realised that the message was written in English. In a scrawl all too familiar to you. In the phrase that would end every letter that Joshua would send to you from when he was abroad and you were trying to make your relationship work.

There was no way that Joshua had got you coffee, right?

But the drinks started turning up almost every day; the same drink with the same message written on the side, with nothing ever pointing you to the direction of Joshua. He had not once turned up at your door seeking recognition for his acts of kindness. Not once had he ever left you any hint that it was him and you were beginning to think that the barista from upstairs had a crush on you or something and noted your foreign twang in your accent.

"Dohyeong," you walked into his studio, holding the 8th cup you had received, utterly baffled and desperate to get to the bottom of the mystery.

"Hey! Is that for me?" he pouted at the coffee in your hand, even though you spotted a newly finished cup next to his mouse.

"Apparently, it's for me," you looked at the cup curiously, "Someone's been putting coffee outside my door for the past week and a half with the same 'Have a good day' written on it but I don't know who it's from."

His eyes widened at the gesture, "Well, it's not me. I promise. Looks like you have a secret admirer, Y/N."

Ah, so not Dohyeong. That didn't really leave the hunt closed, because why would Joshua do it? Wasn't it risky to be seen putting coffee cups outside your door every day?

"If you ask me," Dohyeong cut in through your thoughts, "I'd say Jihoon. You guys have met a few times, you say? You once saw him in the queue for the café? And he works across you so he could knock quickly and then escape into his studio. He's there almost every day since the guys aren't promoting right now."

You weren't about to reveal your previous relationship to Dohyeong and it might've been Jihoon for all you knew. But Jihoon knew you were Joshua's ex-girlfriend right? Does bro-code even apply to a situation like this?

"You're overthinking, Y/N," Dohyeong placed his hands on your shoulders and moved you towards the door, "Just get to your studio early tomorrow and camp out by your peephole. I'm sure you'll catch them in the act."

"This is ridiculous," you huff, sipping on the coffee made just how you liked it.

"By the way, Y/N," his tone turned teasing, "The Pledis boys are allowed to date. Just thought they were all dating each other, though."

-

The next day, you were camped out at your studio at 8:30 AM. You never used to get in until around an hour later, but sometimes the coffee would already be there when you got to work. Sometimes there was a knock, but the person was always quick to get away.

You refrained from setting up your equipment and putting your headphones on, because you knew that they'd get away too quickly if you did. Instead, you were sitting on the couch adjacent to the door, waiting for their knock or some footsteps outside. 

Around half an hour later, you heard shuffling outside your door. Jumping up from your seat, you scrambled to the peephole and peered outside, only for your worst fears to come true. Jihoon, not Joshua, was outside, setting the coffee down with a knock before dashing into his studio. 

There was no way. Jihoon did not have a crush on you, right? Maybe it was just a nice gesture from him, but why would he leave it anonymous? The anonymity of the whole ordeal just made everything more suspicious. 

But, why did the handwriting look like Joshua's?

You weren't a confrontational person; you never had been, but desperate times called for desperate measures and you had to squash any ideas in Jihoon's head and find out if he even had any! It took you an hour of building up courage and pep-talking yourself before you marched two steps across the hallway and knocked on the door.

"Y/N," Bumzu smiled at you, "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Can I speak to Jihoon, please?"

He nodded, opening the door wider and letting you inside. You had never been inside Universe Factory before, and you assumed it was going to be a different layout due to having multiple studios inside, but the place surprised you. It was like stepping into a new building, with another hallway facing you and doors on either side.

"He's the second door on the right, but he might be in here," Bumzu pointed to the first door on your left, "Some of the boys just got here, so probably recording."

"Oh they are?" you gulped at the idea of running into Joshua, "I'll just come back another time."

"No, no! I'm sure it's fine. The boys are nice; you should meet them," Bumzu urged, about to open the door to the spare studio.

"No! Just tell him I dropped by-"

"Hi hyung," before Bumzu could open the door himself, the door swung open, "What's all this noise out here? Oh! Hi Y/N."

You pressed your lips into a thin smile, "Hi Jeonghan."

"What are you doing here?"

"Is Jihoon in there? She wants to talk to Jihoon," Bumzu revealed, pushing open the door. In fact, Jihoon was in there, alongside every other member of their vocal team.

"Vocal team are recording our title track today," Jeonghan informed you, leading you inside the large studio that was decorated quite plain as it was only a spare, "You should come and watch."

"Oh, Y/N!" Jihoon grinned as he saw you come in and the door close behind, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Nothing, nothing. I can just come back," you tried to dismiss, heading for the door already before a hand caught your wrist.

"You should stay," Joshua murmured, "Do you want to watch?"

"That's a good idea," Jihoon hummed, "You haven't recorded with any of the artists yet, right? I'll even give you the reins when I record since I still can't trust these 4."

There were two other members sitting on the couch who you hadn't met yet. They both shot you a grin.

"Seungkwan. DK," you smiled at them, "I'm Y/N, the new producer at Hybe."

"You're really pretty!" DK grinned, shaking your hand.

Jeonghan scoffed, slapping the back of his head as he pouted, "She's your noona. Stop it."

As you shook Seungkwan's hand, DK just gave you a cheekier grin, oblivious to the stares of the three who knew who you were, "You can call me Seokmin."

"Sit down, Y/N," Jihoon pointed at the vacant spinning chair, "You can help all you want or just observe! Who's next?"

Joshua began walking over to the microphone on the other side of the room, sliding the headphones on and giving you a nervous look.

"Don't get shy, Shua," Jeonghan smirked, which just grew more mischievous at the warning look you had shot him.

"We're recording our title track for our next album. It's called Rock with You," Woozi informed you, showing you the screen on his computer to display all the complex layers the song already had, "Joshua, ready when you are."

Joshua's familiar vocals soon filled the room, taking you right back to all those years ago when the two of you would play around with less sophisticated software and cheap mics. His voice had definitely developed, but he had always been incredibly talented. 8 years of expensive vocal training had just enhanced and controlled what he already had.

"You, who let me become this song right now. You're coming towards me, three, two, one," Joshua crooned into the mic, familiar as ever.

"Good," Jihoon noted, "Make the 'now' a bit shorter. And less breathy."

Joshua nodded, repeating the line into the mic and following the instructions. You would forever be in awe of him and his voice.

"Let's do the dubbing now. One take."

Joshua chuckled, sending pangs straight to your heart.

Jihoon instructed for him to go, with Joshua singing the parts that would layer over the other members. He even did a line in his famous falsetto, one that would never fail to amaze you. 

"One take wonder," Joshua grinned as he slipped the headphones off and sat next to Seungkwan on the sofa, eyes avoiding you.

The other three members recorded their parts too, with you complimenting their outstanding voices and giving little offerings of advice whenever they would ask you how you thought it went. When Jihoon was about to record, he let you take his seat in front of his computer and gave you the lyrics to the song. 

Their recording swiftly finished, and when you thought you could make a quick escape, Seokmin had asked you a question, "Do you sing as well, Y/N?"

"Ah!" Seungkwan sounded out loud, "There's no way you're Y/N from YouTube right?"

You were panicked. Seungkwan knew your YouTube channel that you hadn't updated in over a year.

"Oh, yeah. I don't have many subscribers- how'd you know?"

"You have like a million," Seungkwan scoffed, "I really like your song called Before."

Oh, shit. The one and only song about Joshua that you had released to the public. 

"Sing it for us, please! I want to hear your voice," DK clapped in his seat.

"I can sing you another song," you said softly, nervously, "I don't even remember how that one goes."

"I do!" Seungkwan called out, "Didn't it go like: "You were all I'd ever known and now I'm supposed to love you from a distance, like it's nothing, like its instant and you say "let's just see where this goes" and I don't know how or why you seem just fine, coz I'm having to grasp that you're somehow not mine anymore. It's so cruel how things are only almost like they were before."

If you could do a facepalm in that room right now, you would. What were the chances that Joshua's bandmate would have heard the song you released about him, remember how the melody went and the English lyrics of the song and sing it while he was in the same room as you.

"It did go like that," you weren't sure if you were humiliated or heartbroken. Probably both, "I should go."

You didn't even give the other boys a chance to say anything before you bolted out of the room.

Jeonghan stared at the two oblivious on the couch, hands on his hips and shaking his head, "Dumb and dumber. The two of you."

"What did we do?" Seungkwan's voice raised a few octaves as he yelled out in confusion, "What's wrong with him?"

Joshua was banging his head softly against the wall next to the couch, groaning softly at the scene that just played out in front of him.

"Y/N wrote that song," Jihoon drawled softly, to Seungkwan's small 'duh!, "Presumably about an ex? Maybe?"

"Oh yeah, I think the song's about being in a weird situation with a long-distance ex, if I remember correctly," Seungkwan piped up.

"So what's wrong?" Seokmin asked, curious.

"Well, guess who's our poor little Joshua's ex-girlfriend?"

Seokmin and Seungkwan's eyes widened in realisation, mouths dropping at the bomb. Seokmin began nervously laughing, "Wow, what a small world, huh?"

- 

It was only your third week at your new job, and a lot had happened already. You were beginning to doubt if it was such a good idea to have taken the job in the first place, considering your ties to a certain individual. You knew it was going to cause you trouble, but you didn't think it would do so this early.

You were sitting at your desk, head in your hands and breathing deeply as you tried to calm yourself down about the situation that had transpired. Joshua had never heard any songs that you wrote about him during your long-distance relationship, and of course, he never heard any song that you wrote after you broke up. You were mortified at the idea of him knowing how you felt during that time, and you should have known that releasing that one song into the world for people to hear without regulation was a bad idea.

The knock at your door pulled you out of your thoughts. You were in a half a mind to ignore it, but you knew that would help no one.

"Can we talk?" Joshua was standing outside your studio, expression unreadable.

"Yeah," you welcomed him in, closing the door behind you and trapping the two of you in your studio, a bubble away from the world, "I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't know Seungkwan knew who I was, let alone knew this one song I released among a few."

"It's not your fault," Joshua sighed, "It's mine. I'm sorry; I should have told them that you were here."

"Who does know?" you asked, "About me?"

"Well, all the boys knew I had a girlfriend back then. They knew your name, of course, but since you never met them and we both grew up, that's probably why they don't recognise you," Joshua voiced as he walked through the answer in his head, "And they knew you were from home, so they don't expect you to be here. But, obviously, Jeonghan and Jihoon know about you being here. And Vernon, because I tell him everything too and you had met."

"I see," you noded.

"Is that song about me?"

Ah, the golden question that made you cringe internally as you pulled your lips into a tight line, "Heartbreak's a very good inspiration."

"And what would you say if I asked to hear it?" 

"I'd say, do you want me to die from humiliation?" you fired back, playfully.

A smile invaded Joshua's face, "Fine, I won't push," his eyes flickered to the cup on your desk, "You haven't drunk your coffee today?"

Oh, the coffee mystery; the whole reason you got into the mess at Universe Factory.

You held it up, confused, "Are these from you? I saw Jihoon putting it in front of my door today. This is like the 9th one!"

He smiled slyly, "Jihoon puts them outside, but I order it and write the note. Felt like it was suspicious to anyone walking past if it was me. Jihoon is across you, so it seemed less weird. You couldn't tell?"

"There's not exactly a 'from Joshua' on the end of the note," you counter, "And why would you?"

"You know I love me my acts of service," Joshua said, "I used to get you this every other day at the start of school from the Starbucks across the road. Of course, it was from me!"

"You're confusing, Joshua."

"Confusing? Why?"

"Cause you used to do this when we were dating," you pointed out, "We're not dating anymore."

"Ouch," Joshua smiled, pain decorating his features, "I'll stop if it makes you uncomfortable."

You sighed, running your hands through your hair, "It's not that, Joshua."

"Then, what is it?"

"I just don't want to get the wrong idea," you admitted, "I don't want to be deluded into thinking that you still want anything to do with me."

"Y/N, what? I want everything to do with you," he furrowed his eyebrows, stopping himself from reaching out to take your hand, "You'll always be important to me."

"Don't say things like that, Joshua," you pleaded, fighting to stop tears pooling at your lashline, "How am I meant to take that? I've been trying to move on for 7 years, Joshua, but this is really not going to help."

"Have you moved on?" his voice was small and reluctant. 

"I don't know, Joshua. We dated for 5 years. I was so in love with you and you were my entire universe, and then you were just gone. Do you know how hard that is for someone? I didn't know anything about what you were doing for a whole year until your debut. Then you were everywhere. All our friends kept up with your group. They always talked about you. They always told me that you'd come back too, and you never did!" you ranted at him, slowly starting to pace the room back and forth and Joshua remained glued to his spot.

"You were the one that wanted to break up, Y/N," Joshua reminded you, "I loved you just as much as you loved me. More, by the end of it."

"Don't say shit like that," you snapped, "I always only grew to love you more each day, but you weren't being realistic. You were training practically 24 hours a day. I didn't know what times I could call you, so I was always just waiting and waiting for the phone to ring, hoping I even had 20 minutes of your time. And when you would call, I'd always be asleep and out of it. I loved you, Joshua, but it didn't feel like a relationship anymore. I went to college and you had your career here, 6000 miles away."

"But we always said that we could do it. That we'd fight through anything."

"Did you really think that it was even wise to have a girlfriend while you were training? And what would have happened if we were still together by the time you debuted? What if people from back home exposed you, exposed us? It wouldn't have been a good image," you said, "Don't ever think that breaking up with you was an easy decision; it was and will forever be the hardest choice I've ever made in my life. Do you think I wanted to lose you either? To spend all those years crying and pining after you, when I knew I couldn't have you?"

"I'm sorry," he apologised, "I know it was unfair on you and I knew it was hard for you. I've always been yours, Y/N. Through all these years."

Your heart thudded against your chest, the only sound in the silent room.

"We could try again," he said quietly, "You're here now and we're older and I'm allowed to date, and you work in the building so we're protected and-"

"But we grew up, Joshua. We don't know the first thing about each other anymore."

He closed the gap between you, taking his hand in yours and meeting your worried eyes, "But you'll always be the one thing I can't outgrow."

- 

"I told you so," Yoona grinned smugly on your screen as she applied her makeup, "3 weeks, huh? Thought it'd take longer to be honest."

"We're not dating," you quipped.

"Yet. You told him you weren't over him. He told you that he's loved you still all these years-"

"He didn't say that!"

"Y/N, you're so blind. He said to you that he's been yours all these years. What do you think that means? Anyway, where does this leave you then?" she rolled her eyes.

"Well, he gave me his number, for one," you chuckled, "He said I should come over and we can catch up and talk for longer, but he had to go to practice. Then he said I need to meet his members soon too."

"Down bad," she laughed, "He wouldn't introduce you to his members if he wasn't sure about wanting you back in his life. Take this opportunity and sprint, Y/N. It's what you've been wanting for 7 years."

"I'm still not sure if it's a good idea. He's still an idol. I know he's allowed to date, but it seems so risky."

"It's the perfect set up, silly!" Yoona exclaimed, "You're a producer at Hybe. If the public ever finds out a thing, the company will just say that you're working together. As long as you don't get caught kissing or holding hands in public, it's not that suspicious."

You sighed, thinking through her words. She was right, but you were still reluctant.

"Don't overthink. Just see how it goes," Yoona said softly, "If all goes to shit, just be friends. You were friends for 10 years before dating."

"Does that count? We were children," you hummed, "I remember more from when we were dating."

"Okay fine. If all goes to shit, quit your job and move back here," she glared, "But you won't do that, would you? So make it work; the universe gave you a second chance."

A second chance, you repeated to yourself. It was up to you what you were going to do with it.

- 

"Welcome to the 6th-floor dorm," Joshua whispered quietly, leading you into a modern and bright apartment. It was quite evident that boys lived there if the endless consoles at the TV and the wall of shoes by the door told you anything. It wasn't messy, but the organised clutter made it seem like it was, "Sorry about the mess. The only clean dorm is Wonwoo and Mingyu's."

"Is anyone here?" you looked around.

"Uh, I don't think so. Myungho's usually upstairs with Jun and Vernon, and Coups is probably on the 8th floor with Jeonghan or out eating." Joshua led you through the apartment, ending up at the door at the end of the hallway, "This is where no magic happens."

His room was fairly organised; his guitar sat in the corner and posters of his favourite band were placed strategically on his walls. Joshua was glad he had done his laundry the day before since they usually littered the couch that was placed under the window.

"It's nice," you smile, "Reminds me of your room at home."

"That's what I was going for," he uttered, sitting on the bed, "I know I've been in Korea for like a third of my life now, but home will always be home. I miss it."

"How long has it been since you went back?"

"I went to LA at the start of last year for tour, but I couldn't even go back home," he sighed, "I really want to see everyone again. How're our friends?"

"I call Yoona almost every day. She's getting married," you smiled, "The others I keep in touch with when they come back to LA from all the corners of the world they moved to after high school."

"Yoona's getting married already?" his eyes widened.

"25's a pretty normal age to get married," you shrugged, thinking about your best friend who had been with her boyfriend from college for 5 years now. 

"Damn, I lost a bet with Jae-seok then," Joshua chuckled, "I'm surprised he hasn't called to claim his money from me."

"What bet?"

"It's silly but we bet back in high school who'd get married first in the friendship group. He said Yoona would. He said that she's had her wedding planned since she was like 11."

"She has. That was a pretty safe bet. Who did you bet on?"

Joshua smirked, "Us, of course."

You blushed red, turning to look away from him. You let your eyes wander around the room. A small patch of wall was covered in polaroids, arranged in a grid pattern, with writing on the white slips at the bottom.

"You can investigate," Joshua permitted, seeing your gaze on the wall.

The majority of them were pictures of him and his members. Some were old- probably from their training days and a lot were more recent since they seemed to resemble his grown features. Your eyes caught on one around the bottom left corner. It was a polaroid of you and him, smiling sweetly at the camera in front of the castle at Disneyland in Anaheim. His arm was around your waist, the other throwing up a peace sign and you were mirroring his pose. 

Joshua smiled from behind you, plucking the polaroid away from the adhesive on the wall and flashing you the back that was covered in white marker.

"For my prince," he read out loud, grinning, "When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true."

"I forgot I wrote that," you smiled to yourself, "Thanks for keeping it."

"It's one of my favourites," Joshua returned its space on the wall, "And you look so beautiful in it."

"Still the gentleman, huh?"

He smirked again, "Haven't you heard, darling? That's my brand now."

You joined in with his laughter, "They should get to know the real you. Let's see what they say then."

Joshua took a seat next to you on the couch, "That's only for you to know."

His close proximity had your heart speeding up and caused your breath to hitch, "Why are you so close? Go back over there."

"Am I making you nervous?" he smiled innocently.

"When did you get this brave, huh?" you shuffled a little further down the seat, but he followed.

"I've always been brave. That's how you get everything you want. By being brave and taking chances," he dropped his voice to a whisper, closing even more distance between the two of you.

If you knew better, you'd think he was going to kiss you. He wouldn't right? Yeah, his head was getting closer to yours, but what did that mean?

"What are you thinking about?" he asked you.

You laughed nervously, "Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Well I'm thinking about how much I've missed you," he admitted, "And how much I want to-"

A loud thump sounded against Joshua's door, followed by high pitch shrieks. Then you heard a faint voice yell, "What are you idiots doing?"

Joshua groaned loudly, shaking his head as he stood up and bee-lined to the door. Upon opening it, Hoshi, Jun and Dino fell into Joshua's room.

"Are you guys serious?" Joshua growled, "I'm going to kill you all."

"Don't blame us!" Hoshi put his hands up, "We just came to collect Myungho for practice, but then he said he heard a girl's voice."

Minghao was standing in the hallway behind the three that had been peered up against the door, a bashful look on his face, "You should've told me you were having a girl over, hyung."

"I didn't think you were home!" Joshua defended, "What are you doing here, Jeonghan?"

"I was going to ask if you wanted to go out for dinner with me and Cheol. Then I found these three bozos with their ears pressed against the door and Myungho not even stopping them! Hi Y/N, by the way."

You waved awkwardly, refusing to budge from the couch.

"You know who she is?" Dino asked curiously.

"She's the new producer at Hybe, you idiots. Why does no one pay attention?" Jeonghan revealed.

"Hyung! You woo'ed the new producer?" Jun exclaimed incredulously, amazed at the idea.

"Oh my God. I can't take it anymore!" Joshua cried out, "Call everyone here. Band meeting. Now."

That was how you found yourself squished on a couch in their apartment, endless pairs of curious eyes on you in a silent room. Joshua was sat next to you, squinting at his members.

"Do any of you know the meaning of boundaries?" Joshua then glared specifically at Seungkwan and Seokmin, "Or making guests feel comfortable?"

"Uh, what is this about, hyung?" Mingyu piped up from an adjacent couch, entirely confused.

"You're all going to find out one day, so I'd rather just tell all of you now at once, but this is Y/N, our new producer at Hybe," Joshua explained. You watched as Vernon's eyes widened in realisation, "Yes, she's also my ex-girlfriend from home. The one I've told you all about."

Noise suddenly filled the room as the boys connected the dots and began talking over each other to fire endless questions. 

"Are you dating again?" Chan was ever so curious.

"No."

"Yes."

A collective 'aw!" filled the room as you and Joshua looked at each other.

"No, we're not," you clarified.

"Yet!" Joshua piped up.

"Says who? I haven't agreed to anything!"

Jeonghan laughed from around his lover's arm, "Look at them, Cheollie. They make me sick."

"Shut up, Jeonghan," Joshua fired to his best friend, "Anyway. That's all. You nosy, invasive people can all leave now."

"But I have so many questions," Soonyoung pouted.

Joshua glared at all of them, practically forcing all of them out of the apartment with his deadly gaze, "Get out."

- 

Two days later, you were back in the studio after a weekend off. You had spent that time recuperating from the stressful ordeals of the week before and also exploring the city a bit more. Going out by yourself was always one of your favourite activities since you could create any schedule and itinerary you wanted without worrying about pleasing another person.

Joshua had pouted to you over text the whole weekend since he had to spend the entirety of it at dance practice for their comeback. He didn't have time to see you but promised to take you out to dinner on Monday night. 

Monday morning, you were met with coffee on the floor in front of your studio again. You picked it up, happy to see that Joshua had signed it off with a heart. He had told you that it would be too risky to leave his name on it in case someone picked it up randomly, and so the both of you just agreed to leave names off. 

You shot him a thank you text for once, and he replied saying he'd come and visit on his break. You felt like a school girl once again, giggling over her crush. It was nice having a crush again, even if you'd been in love with said crush for 12 years. 

His break came 4 hours later, around lunchtime when Joshua turned up at your door with cups of iced tea and a plastic bag filled with Tupperwares of food.

"You're my new lunch buddy now," Joshua grinned at you, setting up the food at the table in the corner of the room.

"How will your poor members feel?" you awed.

"They'll get over it. I want to spend time with my princess."

You rolled your eyes, hiding the blush that invaded your cheeks, "Don't call me that."

"You love it," Joshua teased, "Anyway, I got us tteokbokki and chicken. I know you love Korean fried chicken."

"I've been getting my fix since I came here, don't worry," you think about how you've been ordering chicken to your apartment almost daily.

"Eat up," he offered, "And don't worry. I didn't forget about tonight?"

"Tonight?" you feigned forgetfulness.

"Shut up, Y/N. Our date."

"Date?" you spluttered, "I didn't agree to a date!"

Joshua laughed, "Would you say no?"

"Well, you didn't ask!" you defended, your heart suddenly beating fast again.

Joshua placed his cutlery down, taking your hands and instructing you to look at him, "Okay, well, will you go on a date with me?"

You looked down, failing to mask your smile as you mumbled a small yes.

"What was that? Couldn't hear you?" Joshua teased.

You rolled your eyes and bumped your arm against his, "Yes, I will go on a date with you."

"That's what I thought. I'll pick you up at 8."

-

You were dressed in a pretty floral dress- nothing fancy or over the top- adorned with tights, boots and a light coat to combat the spring breeze. You had been slipping on your favourite gold jewellery when the doorbell rang through your small apartment.

"Is he here?" Yoona called from your phone propped up on your vanity.

"I think," you grinned nervously, "I gotta go."

"Have a good time, okay? Tell me all about it! I'm so excited for you," she blew you a kiss before dropping the call. 

You made sure that your curling iron was off and switched off the light in your bedroom before racing to the front door. Hand on a handle, you took a deep breath to calm you down before opening it. 

"There's my princess," Joshua grinned his dashing smile, clutching a bouquet of flowers.

"You remembered," a shy smile took over your face with his greeting. 

You had gone on a million dates with the guy in front of you, but you would still get nervous each time. You had gone on a million dates with Joshua, and each time you opened the door, he would croon the same line and same endearment, usually alongside offering flowers. 

"Chrysanthemums, gardenias and baby's breath," he chanted as he looked down at the bouquet of flowers before offering it to you. 

One summer when you were young teenagers, you and Joshua learned the language of flowers and since then, he had always given you flowers with the right meanings.

"Do you still remember what they mean?" you asked curiously as you took it and slipped out of the apartment. You saw flowers as accessories - carrying them around with you made your outfit look so sweet and romantic.

"Chrysanthemums symbolise longevity, optimism, joy and fidelity. White gardenias are trust, hope, renewal, innocence and new beginnings. Baby's breaths for innocence and everlasting love," as casual as he spoke, Joshua slipped his fingers between yours as you walked to the elevator. It had made you jump slightly, but you quickly relaxed in his grasp. Holding hands was always one of his favourite forms of physical touch.

"Ever the romantic," you quipped, smiling at his gift, "Thank you, Jisoo. They're beautiful."

He held in any flirtatious rebuttals that threatened to spill past his lips and instead smiled softly at you, taking in your beauty that was only inches away from him instead of 6000 miles. You took the elevator to the basement garage, where Joshua had parked his car close to the elevator. 

"No way," you stifled a laugh as he unlocked his car and the lights flashed, "Are you serious?"

Joshua pouted, opening the door for you as he stroked the side of the car, "What? She's my baby!"

"A Ferrari? Hong Jisoo, who are you?" 

He got into the driver's side, rolling his eyes, "She's beautiful. You know I've always wanted a sports car and I could afford it."

"Fine, I guess it goes with your hot eligible bachelor at 25 image," you were still giggling as he pulled out of the garage.

"I am hot and 25, but I am certainly not eligible," his eyes were focused on the road, "I never have been."

"Are you telling me you haven't dated anyone in the past 7 years?"

"Nope, didn't have time," he admitted, "Well, not really since the others date, but I just didn't want to. What about you?"

"Yoona would set me up on a million dates and try to wing-woman me at downtown bars on Friday nights, but never a second date. She said all I ever did was compare them to you," you sighed.

"Me too. I was always looking for you in other people, and that was just not healthy. Eventually, I just stopped going on dates," Joshua said, "Were you lonely?"

"Jesus, Joshua. I thought we were going on a date, not having a therapy session!" you exclaimed at the sombre question, "But I guess so. I guessed I just never stopped missing you."

Joshua hummed in unspoken agreement and left you to hum along to the song on the radio while peering up at the city lights illuminating the streets. Eventually, he turned into a street and told you that you were there. He parked at a nearby garage and opened the door for you with an offering hand. You grasped his hand securely and he led the way to the fanciest BBQ restaurant you had ever seen. Usually, K-BBQ restaurants had a chilled vibe with colleagues gathering around long tables with bottles of beer and couples having relaxed dates by the windows. This one was dripping in opulence with people drinking wine out of long-stemmed glasses as they grilled high-quality meat.

"2 for Hong," Joshua said quietly to the maitre d'. Masks covered both of your faces, to his request, in case anyone recognised you on the streets.

"Right this way, Mr Hong," the maitre d' gave you a smile to acknowledge your presence as he led you along the side wall of the restaurant to another extension of the restaurant, which appeared as a long hallway with numerous sliding bamboo doors on each side. You were taken to a private room with a large table, but only two seats facing each other. The waiter set down a menu in front of each of you, before instructing you how to order the food to come to the room and promptly leaving.

"Idols must know the best private places to take their dates," you chuckled at the idea.

"I asked Cheol and Jeonghan. Those two are lucky since they can go on as many dinners in public as they want without it being too suspicious, but they said this was a good private place," Joshua's eyes scanned the menu, "And I remember you said when we were young that you want to do Korean barbecue in Korea because it was so stupid but so traditional."

"I did say that, huh?" you recalled fondly on the memory of you and Joshua exploring Korea on Google Maps and planning out a trip that you never ended up going on, because he moved there instead, "You have a very good memory, Hong Jisoo."

"And I remember everything else you said you wanted to do," Joshua smiled softly, "I promise I'll take you to Namsan Tower with a padlock with our names on it on the first snowfall of the season. You'll just have to stay with me until then."

Pink was the new favourite colour of your cheeks, "Don't make promises you can't keep, Joshua. It's only spring."

"I'm going to keep that one, Y/N. I promise," you've never heard sincerity like that. It made your heart leap bounds and miles, but as always, you were the more realistic one. For now, you kept your optimism and hoped alongside him that that would happen one day. 

The two of you ordered the fanciest meats on the menu, to his insistence and a bottle of red wine that Joshua insisted tasted amazing. Apparently, he had been educated on wine due to spending a lot of time with his band member Minghao going to wine tastings in fancy vineyards. 

The two of you engaged in light-hearted conversation, mainly reminiscing about your high school days together and the antics of your friendship group. You then told him the funny stories from your time at college in your home town and all the new friends you made, while he told you tales from the green practice room and all about his members who he grew to love as siblings. Joshua had been an only child and had always wanted siblings, but thanks to his path in life, he had gained 12. He told you how much of a handful they were at times, but also how caring and thoughtful they were and how they all showed him love in different ways. 

"Did you have a good time?" At the end of the night, Joshua was stood on the other side of the threshold, loosely holding your hand and playing with your fingers.

"I had the best time, Shua," you said sincerely, holding the bouquet with your free arm, "We should do it again sometime."

Joshua smirked, "Asking me out on a second date already, Y/N? You must really like me."

"What can I say? My date was very charming," you flirted back, "Very handsome too. And he has a Ferrari."

A chuckle erupted from his throat as he leaned his body over closer to you, "He sounds like a bad boy with a Ferrari. Or do you prefer gentlemen?"

You don't know if it was all that wine talking, or his familiar scent invading your nasal cavity and intoxicating you, but you boldly stepped closer to him, feet on the threshold of your door and eyes flickering between his plush lips and his darkening eyes, "I don't care, as long as it's you."

Joshua seemed to quickly catch onto your signals, tongue darting out and coating the surface of his lips as he pulled his head even closer, squashing all the distance away. It seemed like he was tempting you to make the first move.

"Are you going to kiss me, Hong?"

Joshua smirked valiantly, snaking his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest and connecting your lips for the first time in 7 years. 

- 

Jihoon knocked on your studio door, a knowing smile already on his face as you opened it, "Morning Y/N."

"Jihoon! Why are you here at 9 am sharp?"

Jihoon crossed his arms, "Because we have a 9 am dance practice."

"And?"

"And Joshua did not leave the dorm with Coups and Myungho. And they said they knocked on his door before they left and no one answered and no one was inside."

You held back a laugh, "What's that go to do with me?"

"Well, we all knew that Shua was going on his very first date in years last night," Jihoon continued, "So he either left the dorms incredibly early or didn't even come back home last night. I thought you'd know something about that."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," you huffed playfully, avoiding his gaze, "Maybe you should try texting him."

"Oh, Jihoon. What are you doing here?" with his perfect timing, Joshua appeared behind Jihoon, carrying two coffee cups and handing one to you, "Why aren't you in the practice room?"

"Because you're not and they sent me to hunt for you," Jihoon deadpanned, "Yesterday's clothes? Really, Shua?"

Joshua rolled his eyes, "I told Jeonghan to bring me spare clothes."

"Well Jeonghan hasn't arrived yet, and you didn't tell anyone else where you disappeared to!" Jihoon rebutted, "Now hurry up."

Joshua barged past his bandmate to reach your side. You handed him his coat that was folded on your couch and sent him a loving smile as you took a sip from your usual coffee, "I'll see you later, princess."

Jihoon made vomiting noises behind the two of you as Joshua planted a kiss on your cheek that left you flustered and giggling. He tugged the lovestruck boy by the sleeve, urging him to leave so they could start their practice.

"See you guys later. Always nice to see you, Jihoon!"

-

SEPTEMBER, 2021 - SEOUL

Yoona screeched as she spotted you at the end of the arrivals walkway. She immediately began jogging, abandoning her bags beside you as she pulled you into a tight hug.

"I missed you so much, you have no idea," she murmured into your neck.

"It's only been 4 months since I left, Yoona," you reminded her, "But I still missed you so much too."

"But spring ended and summer came and went! We have so much to catch up on," Yoona sighed, "But I have a surprise for you!"

"A surprise?"

Yoona beckoned over two women who were wearing masks and sunglasses, and performed jazz hands, "Am I not the best friend ever?"

The two ladies in disguise stripped off their costumes, only to reveal two of the most important mothers in your life, "Eomma? Mrs Hong? You're in Korea!"

Your mother squealed and wrapped you up in a tight hug before passing you over to Joshua's mother who called you out, "You can call me sieomeoni again, apparently. I heard from a little bird that you've reconciled with my son. How could you two keep that from us for so long! So many months of wedding planning lost."

Your mother chuckled, nudging you in the side, "As if we ever stopped planning their wedding over our lunch dates. Anyway, did you really think we were gonna miss our favourite adopted child's wedding?"

Yoona smiled innocently, twiddling with her bags, "It was a long flight, Y/N. They prodded it out of me!"

Your best friend of 11 years was about to get married. She had been planning two weddings of similar importance, until she came to the epiphany of having an initial large wedding in Korea instead, followed by a small gathering of close friends in Los Angeles, since most of her family and her fiancee's family were still in Korea and their immediate family were willing to travel. Yoona's fiancee had reached Korea earlier to deal with some logistical sides to the wedding.

"Of course, we weren't gonna miss our Yoona's wedding," Mrs Hong said as the four of you began to walk to the exit, "Plus, it gave me an excuse to come to Korea again and see my son after a year and a half."

"What about appa? And Mr Hong?" you queried.

Your mother rolled her eyes light-heartedly, "Oh please. They are having the time of their lives on the little fishing trip we sent them on. Found all the Korean uncles a little cabin by a lake and suggested they make a whole trip out of it. They're delighted."

You laughed, leaning into your mother's side affectionately and smiling at your best friend and Mrs Hong, "Does Joshua know you're coming, sieomeoni?"

"No," she revealed, "Does he have any plans tonight? I was thinking we go out to eat and we can surprise him there!"

"Well, we were going out for dinner with Yoona so this is perfect! We're going to a restaurant with a private room so even better for reunions. Maybe I'll pick you guys up and we get there first and then I'll make sure Shua comes after us?"

"He's going to be so happy, Y/N," his mother sighed. 

Joshua had always been a mother's boy and you knew how much it hurt him to move away from his parents in the first place. That boy had begged and begged for them to move with him, but his parents had set their roots in Los Angeles already and couldn't imagine moving back until they retired. It even hurt him to keep your reunion a secret from his mom, who would have been so thrilled to know, but the two of you wanted to take things slow and it had been just over 3 months of bliss. 

You loaded their suitcases into the back of your large car that you bought recently. Having a car was definitely an advantage in the city; it felt like you had more freedom. It was also better for your day-trip car rides with Joshua since his Ferrari got a bit cramped sometimes. 

The drive to Seoul from Incheon was spent catching up on their travel day and complaining about the busy airports. Before you knew it, you were already dropping them off to their hotel and heading back to your studio in the Hybe building, where you found Joshua napping on your couch.

The sound of your door opening and closing woke him up and he flashed you a sweet, sleepy smile, "Hey, practice ended early so I waited here for you. How's Yoona?"

"She's great. Excited about her wedding in a week, of course. I was thinking we take separate cars to dinner though? Yoona wants me to get ready with her at her hotel for old time's sake," you feigned. 

"Aw, that's sweet. Of course. We can just meet at the restaurant. If you get there first, the booking is under my name!" 

You did end up getting ready with your best friend, catching her up with your new relationship while she told you everything else she got up to while you were away and new wedding details.

"I can't believe you're getting married already, Yoona," you sighed, watching from the bed as your best friend curled her hair.

"I know right? Sucks though because I lost a bet from high school to Jaeseok on who'd get married first. He was the only one that said me!"

"You were in on the bet too? Why am I the only one who didn't know about the bet?" you exclaimed. 

"Everyone was in on it," she shrugged, "All of us bet on you and Joshua though, so we all lost. I don't know why Jaeseok picked me. He probably thought I'd elope with a stranger in Vegas."

"No, he picked you because on Powerpoint night at my house, you did yours on the plans for your future wedding, while I ranked the Barbie movies and Joshua told us the history of Super Junior," you deadpanned, "Anyways, it's too early to be thinking about marriage for me."

Yoona scoffed, "If Joshua got down on one knee tonight, you'd say yes. If Joshua randomly dropped by your college dorm all those years you were broken up and turned up with a ring, you would have said yes. You've been in love with him since you were a kid, so just pretend those 7 years didn't happen!"

"I wouldn't say yes!" you defended even though it was a complete lie, "Plus, he's an idol. Marriage is not in his cards, right now."

"You never know, Y/N," she hummed, "Chen from Exo announced out of the blue last year that he was getting married, with a child on the way. Joshua is smitten with you, absolutely besotted. You two have been picturing you growing old together since before you even actually grew up!"

You rolled your eyes, heart fluttering at the thought of the house on the coast that the two of you always envisioned, "Let's get you married first before we start talking about me. Come on, we're going to be late for dinner."

With the mothers in the back of the car and your best friend in the passenger seat, you found yourself at the front of the restaurant quickly. You had already called ahead under his name to change to a larger room with 5 seats and convinced them to not double-check with Joshua, since he was the one to make the reservation, so you were confident the plan would go well. 

Indeed, you arrived before him and had already ordered food for the table when Joshua eventually showed up. He had texted you that he pulled up to parking, so you waited outside the room for him.

"You look very dashing," you lifted yourself up to press a kiss to his jaw, "Yoona has a surprise for you?"

Before he could say anything, you opened the door and let his eyes scan the room before he came to the realisation. He made a choking noise as he ran over to his mother, engulfing her in a tight hug, "Eomma! What are you doing here?"

"I thought it'd be nice to attend Yoona's wedding here in Korea and see you again, of course," his mother murmured against his shoulder. Joshua was sniffling, and that made your heart so happy. 

He quickly hugged your best friend, thanking her for the idea, before turning to your mother, "Jangmonim! It's been so long!"

"You grew up so well, Jisoo," your mother grinned, "What a handsome boy you are now. You've always been. Thank you for keeping my daughter company in this big new city."

Joshua looked over at you, fondness in his eyes, "It was always my pleasure."

- 

After the dinner and the day after you spent alone with your best friend, you didn't see Yoona often. She was busy finalising all the details of the ceremony and conducting all the many pre-wedding traditions with her family and the groom's family. Instead, you spent them with your mother and Joshua's mother when you would get off work. While you were at work, the two best friends would explore Seoul in their most touristy get-ups. 

More often than not, Joshua would join the three of you in the evening after getting emergency special permission from his company to have evenings off. He hadn't known his mother was coming, but he wanted to spend as much time with all of you. 

You spent the evenings restaurant-hopping around Seoul and talking about your new job. You had fully settled in now and you had started writing and producing songs for the artists, instead of just helping to edit and finalise already-written tracks. You hadn't worked with Seventeen yet, since they already had such great producers in Universe Factory and there was a little conflict of interest, but Joshua was desperate to work with you again. 'For old time's sake' he would say with a pleading smile.

It eventually reached the day of your best friend's wedding and you had helped to get her ready in the morning. Although you were taking Joshua as your date, you wanted to be at the side of your best friend before you sent her off to her new life. She was nervous, obviously, but so excited to be married to the love of her life. You found yourself thinking how it'd be nice to do that too. 

Her pristine hanbok glimmered in the pictures that you took with her in her private reception room to greet the guests. You had been the first to pay her a visit, leaving with an encouraging smile before you entered the ceremony hall where the groom was greeting other guests. 

Joshua was by your side, holding your hand and smiling gently as he watched your mothers take a seat in the second row on the bride's side, "It's beautiful."

Joshua took a seat beside his mother as you took the aisle seat. Joshua's mother leaned over him, "Y/N, dear, you want to have a Korean wedding too, right?"

Joshua groaned quietly, nudging his mother to stop, but you just laughed, "Yes, sieomeoni. A big wedding in Korea and a big wedding in Los Angeles."

Joshua flashed you a bashful smile and squeezed your hand, a somewhat of a silent promise. 

The ceremony eventually started and you would be lying if you said you didn't cry when Yoona and her husband drank their separate wines before it was mixed and they drank their unified wine again. The way they bowed to their parents was beautiful and the union of their family was so happy. 

After the short ceremony, you had rushed to her side, hugging her affectionately and wailing at how beautiful their vows and ceremony were.

"Now that I'm married, we can talk about yours right?"

- 

OCTOBER, 2021 - SEOUL

Joshua was lying on his stomach on your bed, opening up your laptop to search for a movie to watch together. You had just walked in, hair still wet and in the process of being dried, adorned in his shirt and sleep shorts.

"What's this folder, Y/N?" Joshua called over.

"Don't snoop, nosy," you scolded playfully before leaning over his shoulder to see what he was about to click, "No! Don't open that!'

It was apparently too late since he had double-clicked on the folder already, that opened up to a list of 10 audio files. 

"Are these songs? Can I listen? You never let me listen to your songs anymore," Joshua said excitedly, ending with a pout.

"You can listen to my stuff. Just not these ones," you sighed.

"Why?" his eyes glinted mischievously before he realised, "Oh, are they all about me? Why is the folder called 'for you'? Is 'you' me?"

"I call this folder 'Songs about Joshua Hong, my first heartbreak'."

Joshua beckoned you over, wrapping his strong arms around you, "I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I have no intention to ever do that again."

"I'd let you listen to these songs, but it might involve a lot of tears," you warn him, "Actually, I just finished a song that would be the perfect conclusion to this album - a happy ending, if you will."

"Oh yeah? What's that one called? But we can start slow. What's your favourite song from all these?"

"The new song's called 'Every summertime'," you pressed a kiss to his lips, "You'd love it. I'll let you hear that one, but my favourite one is probably the saddest; I tried to write it as a closure song, so it's about you leaving and me letting you go, but it's very sad."

"We can start with that one," Joshua stroked your cheek softly, "But it won't be sad, since we know the ending."

You exhale nervously, taking over the mouse pad to click the last song, curling up closer to your lover who played with your damp hair. That always calmed you down. 

"Saturday sunset, we're lyin' on my bed, with five hours to go. Fingers entwined and so were our minds cryin', "I don't want you to go". You wiped away tears but not fears under the still and clear indigo. You said, "Baby, don't cry, we'll be fine. You're the one thing I swear I can't outgrow""

Joshua's breath hitched at the memory of all the words he had said to you over the years. That day in his bedroom as you counted down the hours until he had to leave was one of the worst times in his life. Sure, you continued your relationship for nearly a year after, but it was never the same after he left. 

By the end of it, silent tears were pouring out of his eyes and yours alike as he pulled you up to sit up and meet his level, "One, you're incredibly talented. I love being able to see what comes of that smart brain of yours. Two, I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you over the years," he planted a kiss on your lips with every statement, "Three, I never want to hear you say you're letting go of me. I'm here forever this time around, okay?"

You caught his lips on the final peck and hooked your arms around his neck, "Okay," you murmured against his lips, "You better be, because I don't plan on letting you go again either, Hong Jisoo."

He pulled away for a split second, "I love you, Y/N. I always will."

"I know," you smile softly, eyes lost in his and unfocused on the way the Seoul sunset lit up your room in orange and pink, "And I love you, Jisoo."

-

NOVEMBER 10, 2021 - SEOUL 

Joshua's gloved hand squeezed yours in his pocket as he led you up the stairs. The two of you were bundled up in scarves, hats and gloves while sharing your earphones and listening to IU's sweet voice serenade you. 

The view at the top of the tower was spectacular, showing you the landscape of the entire city before your eyes. You had lived in the city for over 5 months, yet you were still to visit one of the city's most famous attractions, only due to your persistent boyfriend.

"So, when's the snow going to fall?" you said teasingly to your boyfriend, "You're such a romantic."

"Shh, Y/N- that's part of the surprise!" he dismissed.

"It would have been a surprise if you didn't keep stopping me coming here, saying you'd only take me on the day of the first snow," you reminded him.

"This was your bucket list goal, so don't blame me for ruining the surprise," Joshua huffed playfully, "We're going to wait for the snow up here, and then when we get down, we can lock our padlock somewhere."

He took out the padlock from his other pocket, showing you the side with your initials etched and marked on. Your heart swooned, "Thank you, Shua."

Joshua's eyes softened as he pulled you closer. It was incredibly cold on the ground of the mountain, and it was even colder 239m up. He wrapped his arms around you and peppered kisses on the crown of your head.

You were both thinking the same thing- how lucky the two of you were to be given a second chance and for it to work out. Joshua Hong had always been your perfect person, perfect time; you just happened to be blessed twice with the opportunity of having the giddy, honeymoon start of the relationship.

"The snow's falling," Joshua whispered, pulling you away so you could look into his eyes, "Make a wish, princess."

You watched as a few flakes settled on the tips of his nose before melting away before you closed your eyes. It was easy; you had been making the same wish since you were 13..

"I love you, Y/N," he scrunched up his nose, pecking your lips, "Remember when I said you get everything you want if you're brave and take chances?"

"Mhm?"

"I don't have a ring, but marry me, Y/N."

You peered up at him in shock, only to find his eyes full of certainty and love, "Really? Is that an actual proposal?"

"Depends if you say yes," he teased.

You chuckled, and the smile that followed after would soon be embedded in your brain and etched in your heart, "Of course, I'll marry you."

- 

[FOR YOU; SONGS ABOUT JOSHUA HONG, MY FIRST HEARTBREAK]

1. Take A Chance With Me - written at 14, at the start of freshman year; confessing your feelings for your childhood and middle school best friend. Joshua played it accidentally when snooping on your producing software while you were setting the table downstairs for dinner.

"His kiss you'd kill for, just one and you're done for. Electricity surging in the air ; he drives me crazy. It's so beyond me how he'd look me dead in the eye. Stay unaware that I'm hopelessly captivated by a boy who thinks love's overrated."

-

2. Move! - written at 17, trying out something new with your sound, and of course it was going to be about your loving boyfriend at the time

"There's something in the water that makes me love you harder."

-

3. Around - written at 18, before Joshua moved away; a love song to your boyfriend who you never wanted to lose.

"Darling, we don't ever have to pretend, who knows what or who we choose. Right now I've nothing to lose; you love me, I love you."

-

4. Before - written at 18, while Joshua was away in Seoul and you were in your hometown, having to pretend everything was okay. You visited him once in Seoul for three days, never meeting his trainee-friends. He didn't have a new lover, just a new career. You hated having to pretend everything was okay.

"You were all I'd ever known. And now I'm supposed to love you from a distance, like it's nothing, like it's instant and you say, "Let's just see where this goes" and I don't know how or why you seem just fine cause I'm having to grasp that you're somehow not mine anymore. It's so cruel how things are only almost like they were before."

-

5. Lullaby - written at 19, the first song you wrote after you broke up, a song professing how much you missed him and how much you hated that you did.

"My heart was high off you. Am I deranged to miss you? After the way you left my heart blue and bruised - lingering scents of roses and smoke and love and hope and two adventurous souls."

-

6. Polaroid Boy - written at 19, fresh off your breakup with Joshua, angry that the relationship ended and hurt that he was everywhere around your room in the form of tiny polaroids.

"You'll forever be the boy in my polaroids. You'll forever be the reason why I am void. You'll forever be my first love. And the reason why nobody else ever seems enough."

-

7. Vintage - written at 20, a year after breaking up with Joshua after a dream you reconciled when he came back to Los Angeles. Made a great song, but just left you heartbroken when you realised he wasn't coming back.

"Speak of the devil, my, oh my, walkin' with that devilish smile. That's one thing I haven't seen in a while. How have you been since I called you mine? You look so good in this light, got me reminiscin' 'bout our good times."

-

8. Odds - written at 20, a song being angry about how you weren't in the universe's favour. Joshua had no exes other than you, but you had to get creative.

"And yet my world remains the whole of you to this day. Doesn't matter what my location says. I'm always tryna get to you..."

-

9. Anaheim - written at 18, finished at 22, a song about wanting to go back in time with someone you had a great relationship with. Finished in your favourite café in Anaheim, after a drive that you spent reminiscing about your relationship. Started during your year-long long-distance relationship when he tried to make it work, and you saw that it wasn't working.

"I could spend my days studying your laugh's melody. And I can live with myself 'cause I know the composer's me. Babe, all I ask of you is please don't sleep on the bed of promises I can't keep."

-

10. Oceans and Engines - written at 24, the last song you wrote and finished about Joshua. The rawest and most honest song that had ever come from your heart. Heard by no one. Your closure song, except it never gave you any closure.

"Saturday sunset, we're lyin' on my bed, with five hours to go. Fingers entwined and so were our minds cryin', "I don't want you to go". You wiped away tears but not fears under the still and clear indigo. You said, "Baby, don't cry, we'll be fine. You're the one thing I swear I can't outgrow""

-

[NEW ENTRY!]

11. Every Summertime - written at 25, on the beach as Joshua napped on the sun bed next to yours by the sea. A perfect happy ending to your story.

"Every year we get older, but I'm still on your side. Oh, I- Baby, I'd give up anything to travel inside your mind. Baby, I fall in love again come every summertime."

---

Too Many Beds (Choi Seungcheol)

Reverse Trope Series Installement 1

Pairing - Choi Seungcheol x afab! Reader

Word Count- 13k (don't ask me how I thought I could do this in 2k)

Genre - Enemies to lovers? Frenemies to lovers? Lovers to lovers? Idk man, these two are idiots, that's all. Oh and smut.

Warnings - one mention of blood cause of intense make out wew, other smut warnings under the cut!

A/n - I'm trying to do a Reverse Trope one shot series for all seventeen members, first up Choi Seungcheol :) Next up is 'Accidentally Kidnapping A Mafia Boss' Ft. Yoon Jeonghan hehe send me an ask/message to be tagged in that! Or you can also drop a comment when I drop the teaser in a few days!

Smut warnings - oral (m and f receiving), fingering, brief face fucking, thick dick cheol lol, slight choking, allusions to a breeding kink, unprotected sex (these two are digustingly in love, extremely horny and highly irresponsible, please don't be like them), creampie, mention of the word slut like once, and I'm hoping that's all?

“Absolutely not.”

“No way in hell.”

Seungcheol glared at you as you narrowed your eyes at him.

“I’m not sharing a room with him.”

“I refuse to even breathe in her vicinity.”

“Then maybe I should do mankind a service by being around you more.”

“The only way you can help mankind is by shutting your mouth.” Seungcheol leaned closer, his voice dropping. “You’re not pretty enough for all the stupidity that comes out of it.”

You rolled your eyes. “Rich coming from you. If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents.”

“Aw, fifth graders can insult better than you, sweetheart.”

“That was a fact, darling.”

“Ah” The two of you turned to the receptionist, finally remembering her presence as her eyes flickered between you and Seungcheol. “So, the two of you are dating?”

Looking at her incredulously and with unadulterated disgust, the two of you immediately took a step back.

“No!”

“No!”

“I’d rather stub my pinky toe on furniture everyday than date her-”

“And I’d rather choke on my own spit everyday than date him-”

“Oh baby, I knew you were a desperate one. I can give you something better to choke on-”

“Honey, are you sure? I heard you can stack fruit loops on that skinny thing-”

“Enough!” The old woman behind the counter got to her feet, putting her hands on her hips, the never-ending squabbling finally getting to her. “If either of you say another word, I will personally put you both in the tiniest broom closet I can find and trust me, the ones in this lodge are devastatingly small.”

You immediately shut up, dreading that idea more than anything. Seungcheol too became uncharacteristically and thankfully, quiet.

“Now, as far as your room is concerned, your company booked only one room, number-” She glanced at the paper in her hand and pulled out a pair of keys from the drawer. “- 68. If you can bear each other for 4 nights, well and good, get moving. If not, then take your things and get out of here. Good luck finding another lodge in this miserable weather.”

And as though on cue, a bright light, followed by a loud thunder flooded the room, taking all three of its inhabitants aback.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Seungcheol visibly gulp, well aware of his fear of thunder. Seungcheol too heard the way you sniffled, knowing that your rhinitis would only get worse with the humidity rising outside.

Sighing with the realization that there was no way out of this, both of you reached for the keys at the same time, making the old woman snatch it faster than the damn lightning to avoid yet another fight from breaking out. Ringing for the bellboy, she handed him the keys before he took your suitcase and Seungcheol’s bag in each hand, leading the way to your despair of the night.

Seungcheol followed quietly behind you, hands tucked in his pocket, his large headphones perched on his head as he swayed to the music, blatantly ignoring you. You were thankful for that. Since you were little children, you had always craved moments where you could pretend like this man didn’t exist. Why wouldn’t you? Everything about him was a pain in your ass.

You first met Seungcheol when you were five. Your fathers were college mates turned business partners and coincidentally, your mothers were best friends since high school. Naturally, everyone expected the children of both families to be just as close as their parents but alas, even at the age of five, you could not bear him for more than five minutes. He was so aggressive and unruly, always messing up your dolls, always pulling your hair, never giving you a second of peace when he was around. Albeit that behaviour got milder over the years but there were other things now.

Like the fact that your father always preferred to have a boy, a son who could be his heir, someone like Seungcheol. It wasn’t like he didn’t love you but a different side of him came out every time Seungcheol was around, a side not even you could bring out. He would laugh louder, his eyes would shine more, he would seem so carefree. Seungcheol too never missed the chance to rub that on your face, constantly sneering and claiming that your father would be happier if he was a part of the family.

Over the years, your displeasure and annoyance at Seungcheol only grew into a deep dislike. As though it wasn’t enough that the two of you did your entire schooling together (yes, all twelve years of it), he was always present anywhere and everywhere you went - the debate club, the swim team, the dance academy, the cafes, the libraries, the movies - there was no place you were free of him. Ever since you were young, you had longed to escape to a place far away from home just to be carefree and explore and reinvent yourself without the constant looming of a figment of your past. You had hoped that at least after school you’d have the chance to go away from him but as your luck would have it, the two of you were accepted into the same business school, were interning in the same company, were working on the same project, and had come out of town for the same three-day conference together. It was one thing to have to bear this man’s presence all day, now you had to do it all night as well, thanks to your cheapskate company.

As you got in the lift Seungcheol held the doors open for you before settling in the corner opposite yours, keeping as much distance in between as possible. The bell boy looked at both of you confused.

“I thought the two of you are dating?”

You groaned, rolling your eyes, and fished out your phone, scrolling through it instead.

Seungcheol glanced at you before scoffing at the absurd idea of dating you. He wasn’t foreign to that doubt though – people often wondered if they were together and Seungcheol wondered what on earth they saw between them that even resembled a speck of liking or even tolerance for one another.

Seungcheol had honestly not met anyone as stuck up as you. He never understood why his parents constantly considered you as the ideal role model for their son - ‘Look Cheol, she joined debate, you should too’, ‘She got selected in the swim team, you should try Cheol.’, ‘What do you think about dancing Cheol? She’s really good at it.’. Seungcheol was sick of being dragged into everything you were in, only to always be second. He hated debates, he would rather play football than swim, and though he liked to dance, ever since he joined the academy with you, even dancing was not giving him any solace.

Yet he gave his best all the time. He tried and tried and tried but he was always second to you who was evidently a natural at everything. For example, back in the school days, Seungcheol would almost get the same grades as you but at the cost of sacrificing nights of sleep and putting hours and hours into teaching himself. Meanwhile, you would breeze through the notes a day before the test, get a full 8-hour sleep and still score higher than him. As if that wasn’t enough, you’d invite him home, offering to “tutor” him only to constantly berate him about his ignorance, drop snide comments about how you were better, subtly challenge him in a battle that the both of you were well aware he could not win.

No wonder you had no friends while Seungcheol was as popular as could be - who would even want to be friends with you when you were always so cold and condescending towards anything that moved or breathed. If your parents weren’t joined at the hip, forcing Seungcheol to be a constant presence in your life, he wondered who would ever even talk to you? You should have been thankful for him, that he was the one human presence in your life who was always there despite it all, yet you treated him like he was beneath you. He had hoped that at least after graduating the two of you could part ways but the universe apparently loved playing cosmic jokes, putting the two of you together yet again, at the same workplace. And completely up in each other’s space for the next few days as well.

It wasn’t like the two of you hadn’t ever shared a room before - whenever your parents would meet up at each other’s house to drink and talk all night, the two of you had no choice but to crash in the same room, sharing the same bed even but thank God it was usually queen size, allowing the both of you to take two opposite ends, not even your breaths mingling. It had been years since that though…..Seungcheol felt a bead of sweat trickle down his back. He had no idea how he was to spend tonight in this room. Or the next few ones.

Neither did you.

As all three of you stood before the door and the bellboy fumbled with the keys, you glanced at Seungcheol. He looked unbothered as one could be. Perhaps you were overthinking this whole thing. It was a matter of four nights, surely the two of you could at least try to be courteous right?

“What in the...?”

Seungcheol’s voice rang in the empty corridor and you leaned to see what had him so shocked. Your own jaw dropped in a strange mixture of surprise, confusion, and relief.

Room 68 was no average hotel room. It was as big as the entire lobby, 7 heavily pillowed and blanketed single beds aligned from one end to the other almost military barrack style, only small bedside tables putting space between them.

“Room 68 is uh our bachelorette party suite.” The bellboy clarified. “For, you know, those big groups of girls who are hell bent on partying all night together?” He looked away like he was recalling a horrifying memory. “Since it’s holiday season, the lodge is booked out, this was the only room we had left. Is... is it not good?”

Seungcheol looked at you and for the first time in nearly 25 years, the two of you could finally agree on something.

“No.” You stepped in. “It’s perfect.”

It had been years since you had seen Seungcheol half-naked.

Well, you frequently saw him during swim practice in those tight speedo shorts of his, ass all plump and taut but you were not talking about that. You were referring to the sight before you right now, him with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist, his wet hair falling into his eyes as he searched for something in his bag frantically – most likely his aftershave. You knew he must have cleaned up given the conference was starting tomorrow and also that his cheeks were burning because you couldn’t smell the subtle cinnamon spice aftershave that usually followed in his routine.

Seungcheol strangely felt a pair of eyes on him as he rummaged through his things and suddenly remembered he was not alone in the room. He quickly turned, looking for you, finding you curled up in your bed, writing in what he guessed was your journal, unbothered by his presence. You were wearing that cute nightgown with little tomatoes drawn all over it which Seungcheol found funny given how much you hated tomatoes with all your heart and soul. Realising he had been looking for too long, Seungcheol gulped, quickly grabbing the aftershave he finally found and rushed back into the bathroom.

You flinched as you heard the door of the bathroom slam shut, looking up from your journal. Shaking your head exasperated, you returned to your writing. Seungcheol always handled things around him roughly like he was just not built to be gentle - slamming doors hard, breaking at least one coffee mug a month, causing rips in most of his clothes when he would gym because he was so big…. And muscular…. And built…..You bit the back of your pen thinking about how good he looked in his gym wear but if you were being honest, he looked best in a suit.

He’s going to be wearing one tomorrow.

You snapped out of your thoughts realizing you were entering dangerous waters and turned your attention back to your writing. Seungcheol made that process slightly harder as he walked out, furiously rubbing his towel against the back of his head, dressed in a black t-shirt and grey sweats.

As he sat down on his bed, he looked at you sitting six beds across, all the way in the other end of the room, right by the window. The moment the two of you entered the room, he took bed 1, the one against the wall and you took bed 7, the one against the opposite wall, putting the maximum possible distance between the two of you. He let you use the bathroom first, not because he knew you preferred using it when it is dry but because he thought this was the best time for him to call his parents and wish them goodnight….. even though it was still 7:30.

He showered after you did but even now, despite being so far from you, he could still smell your bodywash, the fragrance of lilies, the mildest kind because strong fragrances irritated your sensitive nose. Throwing his towel on the chair he kicked his legs off the floor and lied on the bed, turning to the wall, hearing the faint annoyed click of a tongue. Seungcheol knew exactly what triggered it - you hated it when he tossed damp towels like that. But honestly, he couldn't care less right now, not when there were more important things to deal with tomorrow, not when he was so tired already.

You shut your journal, irritated by his behaviour remembering exactly why being in the same vicinity as this man infuriated you. Flipping the lights off and pulling the covers over your shivering body, you realigned your thoughts towards your goal - Tomorrow’s conference was crucial. You had to look your best and do your best so clocking in 8 hours of sleep was the priority, Choi Seungcheol's character development be damned.

But as you lied down turning towards the window, lightning flashed across the sky, a loud thunder following. You turned to see Seungcheol and his back was facing you, the outline of his figure moving up and down rhythmically like he was already in a deep sleep. Slightly relieved yet still unconvinced, you turned towards him before the sleep and tiredness took you away.

Seungcheol simply stared at the wall all night.

Seungcheol most definitely did not sleep all night.

You could tell by the fact that one, he was up without you waking him and two, he was not there in the room right now. That meant he was out for a run which in turn meant his face must have been all swollen which definitely meant he didn’t get enough sleep. You did notice though that his bedding had shifted from bed 1 to bed 2 and guessed it was because of the coldness of the wall - Seungcheol had the habit of tossing and turning at night and there was nothing he hated more than his bare skin accidentally brushing the cold walls. Considering you were still five beds away from him, you ignored it as you went to wash up and prepare for the day.

When he saw the time on his watch as he finished his last lap, Seungcheol realised he was way behind schedule and that you probably were already at breakfast, sitting with a dozen snide remarks, waiting for him. True enough, as he quickly showered, dressed, and headed down to the buffet, you were there already, going through the proposal, the plate beside you nearly empty. Quickly grabbing a piece of toast and stuffing it in his mouth he walked over, putting on his suit jacket in a hurry. As you saw him approach, you shut your laptop, looking at him top to down in an ensemble that fit him all too well. Seungcheol’s eyes wandered over the pretty way you did your hair, and the plunging neckline of your blouse, a sliver of your pink bra peeking from underneath the fabric-

Both of you cleared your throats and looked away.

“We should leave, the cab should be here in-” He glanced at his watch. “-should have been here ten minutes ago, fuck.”

“It’ll be here in ten.” You pushed a cup of coffee towards him, looking at him pointedly to take a seat. Seungcheol glanced at it then back at you.

“You changed the time on my watch.” He huffed annoyed. “Again.”

“Glad to know you are still capable of basic comprehension.”

“You vile woman.” Seungcheol gritted between his teeth, sitting down. “I showered so fast I thought I was going to pass out.”

“But you didn’t.” You shrugged. “And learn to be grateful Seungcheol, you’re only ever on time when I meddle, so say thanks to me.”

“I’d rather die before I thank you.” He took a sip of the coffee before the extreme bitterness hit his tongue, making him spit it out right back into the cup. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“You did say you’d rather die.”

“Fuck you.”

“I know ten minutes is more than enough for you but personally, I prefer longer.”

Every single time. Every single time you flashed him that sweet, mocking smile and every single time it pushed his buttons like no other. One day he swore to put you in your place but right now he was too low on energy for that.

Well aware that you loved strawberries more than anything, he grabbed the last one on your plate and walked off to the taxi stand, ignoring the way you whined behind him.

“Oh, real mature of you Choi Seungcheol!”

You knew in your stress about perfecting the proposal early in the morning you had forgotten something important and the moment you stepped into the room that night, you knew exactly what that was.

To close the windows.

Thanks to the pouring rain, the water had drenched your entire bed, not to forget, your bag full of your clothes which was conveniently placed right on the mattress, soaking nearly every piece of clothing you owned. Thank God the laundry in the lodge said they would handle it for you so you still had an outfit for tomorrow’s conference but there were still two major concerns - one, what to wear tonight and two, where to sleep tonight.

You solved the first problem (almost) by grabbing your umbrella and heading to the nearest clothing store as instructed by the receptionist only to find out it sold barely any ‘cloth’ at all. It was an adult shop, filled majorly with lingerie of all kinds which were aiming to cover as little as possible. Groaning inwardly, knowing you didn’t have a phone on you to go any further in this weather, you grabbed the most decent nightgown you could find and rushed back.

A hot shower, a change of clothes and a quick meal later you decided to deal with your second problem, moving your things from bed 7 to 6, not too displeased considering there were still three beds between the two of you. You glanced at Seungcheol’s empty bed and then at the time - it was well past 10. Sighing, you settled under the covers pulling out your journal to write but got lost in your thoughts instead.

You were pretty proud of what you presented today - people praised you, congratulated you for a well drafted proposal and even went so far as to offer you jobs in their company. Yet you were not satisfied. Somehow, the one thing constantly running in your mind was the swarm of women who had flocked around Seungcheol the moment the conference was done, ‘mindlessly’ touching his arms, ‘casually’ brushing their chests against his, ‘genuinely’ laughing too hard at whatever bullshit came out of his mouth.

This was not new to you, Choi Seungcheol being the centre of attention wherever he went. He enjoyed it, basked in it, and chose to make a show of it whenever he got a chance. It was all so fake and superficial; you could not bear to stand it. That’s why even though everyone decided to go out for dinner and drinks tonight, yes, all twenty-seven of them, you politely said goodbye citing a headache and took a cab back. You were not interested in casual conversation and definitely not interested in seeing Seungcheol’s pathetic flirting.

Just as you begin to relish his absence and the beautiful silence that came with it, a loud knocking on the door and his voice screaming your name ended your perfect night. Grumbling, you opened the door to a fully drenched Seungcheol looking absolutely frazzled.

“What the hell-”

He stopped when his eyes fell on you dressed in a white floor length satin gown, the material seductively clinging to the curves of your body, your leg slightly visible between the slit. You crossed your arms to cover yourself up, feeling conscious under his gaze as he gulped audibly.

“What the hell were you thinking?” He met your eyes, a slight worry flashing behind the anger. “You just disappeared without letting me know-”

“I told you I was leaving.” You walked into the room rolling your eyes. “Maybe if you could see something beyond all that pathetic fangirling you’d have heard.”

“Fangirling?” He looked genuinely confused, following you in as he stripped off his jacket. You tried your best to not stare at the way his pecs were so perfectly outlined under the wet shirt sticking to his body but Seungcheol caught you peering, his features lighting up with amusement.

“Would you look at that?” He smirked. “Someone is jealous.”

“Please.” You scoffed. “I wouldn’t be jealous even if we were the last people on Earth.”

“Obviously, if we were the last people, who would you even be jealous of?”

You sighed. “You know what I mean.”

“I actually don't, sweetheart. If a little action is all you want, you can just ask for it you know?”

“Funny coming from a guy who kissed me just because another man was talking to me.”

The first tea break of the conference had led to an introduction that was surprising to you considering people did not really tend to approach you on their own. It was even more shocking that this man chose to speak to you in the lunch break as well, completely unprompted. He was sweet, not egging you too much with conversation, simply limiting it to work and the conference and then Choi Seungcheol appeared out of nowhere, snaking an arm around your waist, uninvited. Before you could glare at him and send him away, he planted a soft kiss on your cheek, excused himself and led you away from there, only to abandon you the very next second without an explanation.

“You call that a kiss?” Seungcheol scoffed. “You were so swept off your feet, you were this close to spilling details on our quotation for the project. That was actually me shutting you up.”

“Oh yeah?” You raised an eyebrow. “If you really wanted to shut me up, then you should have kissed me on the mouth.”

Seungcheol stared at you wordlessly.

As you began to walk away, he pulled you by the elbow, putting you against the wall, trapping you between his hands on either side.

“Is that how?” He leaned closer, the scent of his cologne taking over your senses. “Because there is nothing I’d love to do more than shut you up.” He cocked his head with a small smile. “And maybe also show you what a kiss really is.”

You tried not to gulp the phantom lump in your throat, cheeks suddenly hot under his gaze. Somehow, as though it had a mind of its own, your hand traced his exposed collar bone, trailing down his chest slowly, eyes following. Seungcheol held his breath under your touch. You stopped your tracks at his hard pecs, right above his heart beating just as fast as yours and looked up at him.

And then twisted his nipple.

Shrieking in pain, Seungcheol stumbled back, clutching his chest.

“What the hell mate?”

You walked towards your bed, grabbing your matching satin night robe and slipping it on. “It's ridiculous that you even think you of all people could show me a real kiss.”

“You forget sweetheart, I was your first one.”

You turned to Seungcheol as he brought up a memory you had actually done a great job forgetting. It was during your senior year - your parents had forced you to accompany Seungcheol to a house party so you could “get more involved in the social scene” instead of holing yourself up in your room all the time. It was a classic game of truth or dare and the worst dare of your life - to kiss Seungcheol for a minute.

Now the last thing you wanted to hear was him teasing you every day about how you were too scared to kiss him so you held him by the collar and pulled yourself into his lap straddling him, your mouth meeting his in a frenzy. If you were being honest, something about that kiss served as your sexual awakening - maybe it was the way he moaned into your mouth, or his hands gripped your ass, or hands entangled in his soft hair or your chest pressed up against his. Whatever it was, there was a video of it that your classmates took circulating somewhere out there, timed around five and a half minutes as opposed to the one minute it was supposed to be.

“Don’t take too much pride in yourself Cheol.” You sat on the bed, leaning back on your hands planted in the mattress. “Only I know how many other guys I had to kiss after that to know what kissing truly is.”

Seungcheol felt his jaw tighten.

Something in you had changed in junior year. Yes, you were still the same antisocial, inhospitable, unapproachable person you always were but somehow every other day, he found you in a new location with a new guy's tongue shoved down your throat. They were not boyfriends, Seungcheol knew that much, and it was the fact that they weren't that made his blood boil with anger.

“You shouldn’t take pride in yourself either sweetheart.” He looked at you with a strange mixture of anger and pity. “There's nothing to feel accomplished about not forming a single real bond in your life.”

The moment the words left his mouth Seungcheol regretted it, knowing he had hit a soft spot. It was too late now; the damage was done - pain was flashing in your eyes.

You looked at the insensitive man before you and laughed at him sadly, mirroring his hurtful words.

“No real bond? I’m afraid you filled that void Seungcheol. Hate forms really strong bonds too.”

And with that you turned away from him, tucking yourself under the sheets, turning off the lights on your side of the room. Grabbing his towel and a change of clothes, Seungcheol locked himself up in the bathroom, your words piercing his heart like no other. Over the years yes, the two of you argued and fought and annoyed each other and couldn’t stand one another but hate? He didn’t ever think that’s what you felt for him. Perhaps he deserved it - he had after all crossed a line with that comment.

He knew you had always struggled around people. He knew that even though you detested taking his help for anything, in every social setting, you would always choose to hide behind him. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to interact, you just couldn’t. You were a sick child since birth, constantly brought down by various illnesses that often confined you to your room - you didn’t go out to play with the other children, you didn’t join the kids on their trips to the ice cream shop, you didn’t go late night camping with your classmates, you didn’t do a lot of what kids your age did.

And when you were old enough, when you were healthy enough to step out into the world, you didn’t know how to anymore. Hence you continued to stay in your own shell, closing yourself off from everyone, wary of any and all interactions. Seungcheol knew all this, that’s why when he couldn't lay his eyes on you in the crowd of the conference, the panic he felt was like no other. He never thought he would ever feel his heart stop but Seungcheol felt it twice today - once when he lost you and the other when you said that. I’m afraid you filled that void Seungcheol. Hate forms really strong bonds too.

You stared out of the window, mildly annoyed by all the light falling in your face, Seungcheol’s words ringing in your ears. It might have sounded harsh but he was right. You never formed real bonds with anyone, you could never bring yourself to. Having spent years all by yourself, you didn’t know what it was like to let another person into a space that was entirely yours. That’s why, though you engaged in all sorts of flings and hookups, you never let it go beyond that - you never let yourself lose your heart to someone, walking away from them before they could walk away from you.

In that sense, Seungcheol was indeed the realest bond you had - just a constantly present, mildly irritating, oddly comforting white noise in your life. It was easy with him - you never had to think in his presence, you never had to wonder whether anything would drive him away, never had to worry about keeping him by your side unconditionally - he was always there. Somehow what you felt for Seungcheol was liberating in a way you hadn’t even realized. Hate could hardly define that; you were unnecessarily harsh earlier.

Seungcheol stepped out of the bathroom, eyes falling on your unmoving figure which he just realized was on bed 6 instead of 7. Noticing the damp sheets and piecing it together, he didn’t think too much of it as he switched off the lights and crawled into his bed.

Hearing the sounds of him shuffling, you turned towards him.

“Are you not going for the dinner?”

“It’s too late now. I would have eaten there if I didn’t have to run back here to check up on you.”

“You could have just called me.”

“I did.” He turned to you, looking at just your silhouette in the darkness. “A few hundred times.”

You checked your phone immediately and it wasn’t a hundred times but there were some fifty odd calls from him and two dozen messages.

“I put my phone on silent during the conference and forgot to take it off.” You mumbled, just a little guilty that he was missing out on a gathering because of you. “Did you at least eat?”

“I’m not hungry, thanks to all the Americanos you kept feeding me all day.”

“If not for that, you would have been snoring in the conference barely an hour after it began.” You turned to lie on your back, facing the ceiling. “And I wouldn’t have had to do that if you’d just obediently drank that double shot espresso in the morning.”

Seungcheol remembered you sliding the coffee cup to him and smiled to himself in the dark.

“Then maybe you should also listen to me and stop munching on those strawberries every chance you get, especially when you know they flare your allergies.”

You remembered Seungcheol gobbling up the last berry and smiled to yourself in the dark.

“Goodnight, you obnoxious prick.”

“Goodnight, you insufferable fiend."

When you woke up in the morning, two things had changed - one, Seungcheol had moved from bed 2 to bed 3 in the middle of the night and two, his shirt was gone, discarded somewhere in the mess on the floor. He was lying sprawled on his bare stomach, his back covered in a thin sheet of sweat, his tattoo shining as the light hit it. Ignoring the sight before you with much difficulty, you shook him awake.

“Get up Cheol, we’re going to be late.”

He groaned, rolling over, eyes slowly blinking open, falling on you first thing in the morning. Even though you were dressed in the sultriest thing he had ever seen on you, Seungcheol controlled himself and tore his eyes away.

“The radiator is right across the other bed; I was literally burning all night.” He mumbled, stretching awake, justifying his move.

You turned towards it noticing how it was in fact between bed two and three, closer to three than two to be honest. Considering Seungcheol was still drenched in sweat, his move in the middle of the night was actually quite pointless, but you chose not to say anything about it. Quickly washing up, the two of you rushed for breakfast, skimming over the presentation notes one last time. Today, neither of you noticed but Seungcheol drank the coffee and you didn’t eat the strawberries.

Day two went by in a flash much like day one. Only this time, you didn’t talk to the gentleman from yesterday, choosing to sit quietly by Seungcheol in the break and he didn’t leave your side either, regardless of all the ladies calling him to join them. In the evening, as the team headed to the city’s best karaoke bar, inviting you and Seungcheol again, Seungcheol brushed them off claiming the two of you had a little more work to do on the proposal. To his surprise, you shot him down, agreeing to join everyone, looking at him with a small smile.

“Don’t be such a killjoy darling.”

Seungcheol knew you were compensating for last night so he followed, well aware that you would most likely want to leave the moment the singing started. Well, he was almost right - you actually wanted to leave the moment you stepped foot into the room, turning to him with pleading eyes. Seungcheol turned you by your shoulder, laughing as he led you in.

“Don’t be such a killjoy sweetheart.”

You sat patiently as the beers poured in and people around you fought for the photobooth props. Seungcheol was sitting right beside you, his thigh a comforting weight against yours, laughing with everyone. As the night progressed, you had downed a beer or two, a slight buzz taking over, not noticing the way Seungcheol had his arm around you now or that you were warmly cuddled against his torso. Soon, one by one, everyone settled on the couches, tired from all the screaming, resorting to chatter instead and deciding on an old-fashioned game of truth or dare. Seungcheol smirked at you and you turned his face away with a soft push.

“So Seungcheol,” The man beside him spoke. “Truth or dare?”

“Neither actually. We should leave now.” He stood, pulling you up, stumbling slightly. “I’ve had too much to drink and it's late, Y/n needs to sleep.”

“Didn’t realize wacky wallflower here also had the bedtime of a toddler.” One of Seungcheol’s many fangirls piqued, jealousy stark on her face. “We can book her a cab, why don’t you stay a little longer, Cheolie?”

You raised an eyebrow, amused at the nickname, and at her jealousy but Seungcheol did not find anything about her words even remotely funny.

“No thanks, I go where she goes.”

“I thought you guys weren’t dating? Then why-”

“That doesn’t change what I said.” His voice dropped an octave. “I go where she goes.”

“Cheol.” You placed a hand on his chest, sensing his anger rising. “It’s fine, let’s stay for a few rounds, yeah?”

Seungcheol looked at you frowning as you sat down, pulling him with you. The girl you already disliked but quite vehemently hate now, spun the bottle with a giggle.

“We don’t have to stay.” Seungcheol whispered as the guy beside you excitedly asked the one across him a question. “You stayed long enough, you need sleep-”

“I’m fine.”

“I’m not.” He spoke between gritted teeth. “Just looking at that foul woman makes me mad. I already said I wasn’t interested in her, she had no reason to be a bitch.”

“Well then don’t you want to put the bitch in her place Cheol?”

You looked at him with big doe eyes which terrified Seungcheol even more. What on Earth were you up to?

“Y/n, you get to ask Yuri!”

You looked at the bottle to see it pointing between you and your little conquest of the night. Hook.

“Truth or dare?” Line.

“Dare.” And Sinker.

“Okay Yuri, then I dare you to not take your eyes off.”

You pulled Seungcheol by the collar, smashing your lips on his, swallowing his audible moan. His hands immediately found your waist, pulling you closer, up against his body, teeth roughly tugging your lower lip. Hand sliding up his neck and across his jaw, you entangled your fingers in his hair, drawing him even closer denying even air the right to come between the two of you. Yes, it was all a show for Yuri or whatever her name was, but at a point, she stomped her foot and got up, running out of the room. Perhaps the two of you should have stopped then or at least when you were running out of breath. But you only broke apart when someone dropped a beer bottle, smashing the glass loudly on the floor. Seungcheol and you looked at it, faces flushed, lips swollen. A low whistle echoed in the room.

“We-” Seungcheol cleared his throat, trying to get his voice back. “We should get going.”

“Y-yeah.” You agreed, getting up and grabbing your things as Seungcheol smoothened his hair with his hand, muttering a small goodbye to everyone. As the two of you stepped out of the room, you found Yuri crying at the entrance, her friend trying her best to console her. Not sparing her another glance, you walked away, Seungcheol following you close behind. As the cold air hit you when you reached the taxi stand, you felt a painful sting on your lower lip, making you hiss. Hand cupping your face, Seungcheol wiped the trickle of blood with his thumb.

“Guess you desperately did need a real kiss huh?”

“Shut up.” You smacked his hand away. “I had to help the poor girl get over her pathetic taste in men.”

“By getting a taste of me?” Seungcheol smirked as you rolled your eyes. Before you could say anything, his stomach let out a loud growl making you laugh and look around, spotting a burger joint.

“Let’s get you a taste of that big boy.”

“Sometimes I wonder-” You stared out of the window at the large clouds rolling in. “-considering our parents are best friends and we are not, do you think our children would be good friends or enemies?”

“Wow, children.” Seungcheol munched on his burger furiously. “I never thought that far.”

“Then think about it now.”

“I don’t know.” He hummed. He hated thinking when he was tipsy. “Siblings tend to have a love-hate relationship.”

“I was talking about our children Seungcheol.”

“So was I.”

“No, I mean, my own children and your own children.”

“Yeah, same thing.”

You looked at him exasperatedly.

“Let’s be honest here Y/n. Who else out there can put up with us for long enough to start a family?”

“We can barely put up with each other-”

“But we have, for almost 25 years.” He slurped on his drink. “There’s a reason why you have never been in a relationship and I have never been in one that lasts. Because whatever it is we share, it’s you and I, till the end.”

“Till the end.” You muttered, reaching for his burger, taking a bite from it. Judging by your expression, Seungcheol could tell you liked his better, like you always do. That’s why he made sure to get it without the tomatoes he usually loved and settled to eat your meal instead. He was just about to ask why exactly you were so lost in thought when a loud thunder boomed across the sky sending a shiver running down Seungcheol’s spine.

Shoving the last of the burger down your throat quickly washing it down with some soda, you began gathering your things.

“We should go before the rain starts.”

Seungcheol nodded, finishing up his meal as you threw the trash in the nearby can. As the two of you left, muttering your thank yous to the waitresses, you laced your fingers with Seungcheol’s, gripping him tight as another lightning flashed across the sky. Thank God it wasn’t too hard to flag down a cab because the moment the two of you sat inside, rain began pouring like there was no tomorrow. As you glanced at the obscurity outside the window, Seungcheol stared at his hand, the one that you hadn’t left in all this time.

There were times when he used to stay over in your room, unable to sleep due to all the thundering while you dozed away oblivious to his presence. Those days, you’d turn around, reaching for his hand, holding it in your sleep. Seungcheol now wondered if that might have been a conscious effort to comfort him.

Perhaps not he thought as you began to nonchalantly hum his favourite song. He wondered if you knew he loved that piece because of how beautiful you looked when you danced to it. He wondered if you knew that the reason he was always around you was to make sure you were alright. He wondered if you knew he always carried an extra inhaler for you, that he had written a long list of your allergies in order from ‘can handle’ to ‘keep away from at all times’, that he was constantly alert about everything you ate, smelt and touched. He wondered if you knew, deep down how much he cared about you…..but sleep dragged him away before he could wonder anymore.

Sensing Seungcheol had fallen asleep, you stopped humming, turning to him, smiling at his half open mouth. Scooting closer, you slowly pulled his head to rest against your shoulder, and he groaned softly, nuzzling into it. The driver looked at the two of you through the rear-view mirror, making your cheeks go red as you looked away.

“Is your boyfriend afraid of thunderstorms?”

You nodded, ignoring the title. “Since he was a child. I don’t think he’s been sleeping too well the last few days.”

“The forecast shows it’s going to be worse today.” The driver sighed. “Look out for him.”

You nodded again. You did look out for him. In your own ways you always did - you always challenged him knowing that was what pushed him to do better. You always made sure to wake him up or at least meddle with his clocks so he was always on time. You always made sure he ate and slept enough, knowing how it threw him off whenever he was deprived of either. Even now you were humming his favourite song knowing it calmed him down. You wondered if Seungcheol knew, that deep down you really cared about him…..perhaps more than anything.

When the taxi reached the lodge, you softly shook him awake after paying, dragging his sleepy self through the lobby. The receptionist's eyes followed the two of you, stumbling away hand in hand, mouth curling into a small smile as you disappeared. You only let his hand go when you reached the room and that’s what jolted him awake.

The silence that descended the room today was different. It wasn’t because the two of you were too tired to say anything to each other, rather neither of you knew what exactly to say given there was so much to. So instead, you resorted to washing up and filling in your journal for the day while Seungcheol worked on a few changes in the proposal for the final pitch tomorrow. Just as he shut the laptop and you shut your diary, the two of you looked at each other before quickly looking away, settling in your own beds, for the night.

You were almost ready to drift off to sleep, before the driver’s words rang in your mind - the forecast shows it’s going to be worse today. Without thinking much, you moved your things from bed 6 to bed 5, muttering that the light from the streetlamps was falling in your face there. Seungcheol did not point out that you could just close the curtains instead and curled up in his own bed, glad you were closer to him now.

He looked at you across the one bed that was in between and suddenly you felt too far, like the distance was too much.

You looked at him as his eyes fluttered shut, thunder rumbling across the sky, wondering if he could hear you across all this space, humming louder than usual, lulling the two of you to sleep.

When you woke up, Seungcheol was surprisingly awake and fully dressed, trying to knot his tie unsuccessfully in front of the mirror, expression focused with a small pout. Propping yourself up on your elbow, you stared at his reflection, eyes skimming over the beautiful features of his face which you never really consciously admired - his thick hair, thicker eyebrows, plump, pillowy lips, his jawline sharp and chiselled. He was indeed handsome, in a way you really liked….a lot.

You wondered why you always looked at him like he was the bane of your existence. Was it because it was easier to bury the unresolved tension under pointless banter? Or did you wantonly show him your worst side, hoping it wouldn’t scare him away, hoping he would stay despite every flaw, every shortcoming. What did it mean if in 25 years, he didn’t leave even once?

Seungcheol groaned, annoyed at his futile attempts, eyes finally meeting yours in the mirror. You slid off your bed, walking up to him as he turned to you. Yawning, you took his tie in your hands, tying it for him. Seungcheol’s eyes drifted over the features of your face as he held his breath.

He could get used to this, the sight of waking up to a sleepy you, your hair all over the place, your eyes slightly droopy, nose red. God you were so beautiful - he knew that, but why didn’t he ever think about it? Why did he choose to fight every remote thought about you with irritating banter? Was he scared that the tension would remain unresolved? And what did it mean if you were still here, right by his side, helping him out in everything big and small, always making sure he was going the right way and doing the right thing, every single day for the last 25 years?

You pushed the knot up to his neck, smoothening the material, patting his chest with a proud smile. Seungcheol gulped as you walked away to wash up, trying to get his breath under control.

When the two of you came down for breakfast, you pointedly avoided the receptionist's gaze. There was no time to deal with more thoughts.

The rest of the day went like that, thoughtlessly. It was a little awkward at the conference considering the little show you two put up last night, so the moment it ended for good in the evening, you bid everyone goodbye, citing you had an early flight and had to leave soon. It was true though, you did have to travel in the wee hours of the morning, but leaving from the conference so soon also meant having to spend longer with Seungcheol, all alone. He agreed with you though, stating his social battery was at an all-time low and that he just wanted to go back.

Today the two of you were somehow sitting on two ends of the car backseat, bodies pressing against the door, in complete contrast to last night. It was a silent ride, a silent walk to the room and a silent session of packing up. Suddenly there were very conscious efforts to not brush hands, or accidentally walk into each other or catch the other person randomly staring, lost in thought. It was only when you were finally done that you asked Seungcheol if he wanted to order dinner. He agreed, leading to a very small and very efficient discussion about what dishes to eat and then silence descended upon the room again. While waiting for the food to arrive, Seungcheol muttered that he was going for a quick run, leaving you alone with the thoughts you could no longer stop from plaguing your mind.

Something had changed over the last 3 days. It wasn’t you or Seungcheol - he was still throwing his damp towels on dry clothes and you were still meddling with his clocks. No, the two of you hadn’t changed. Neither did the arguing, neither did the banter, neither did the subtle flirting, neither did the silent support. No…. nothing had changed. It was all the same. It was all the exact same except now, you were finally willing to acknowledge something you hadn’t even admitted to yourself since the age of five, that-

“I’m in love with him.” You whispered, smiling to yourself.

Seungcheol on the other hand thought running around the lodge would mean those thoughts wouldn’t run in his mind anymore. He was wrong - even though you were not there, like always you were on his mind, in his every thought, in his every breath. Seungcheol didn’t know of a life without you. He also knew that you would be there with him for the rest of his life but for the first time in 25 years, he finally found himself owning up to it - that he truly wanted you be a part of his future, that he could not bear to think of one without you in it, that-

“I’m in love with her.” He whispered, smiling to himself.

By the time Seungcheol had returned, dinner had arrived. Between each bite you searched for the right words to say, noticing that Seungcheol was trying the same. Somehow, neither of you could bring yourself to say anything.

You couldn’t peacefully finish up your journal and Seungcheol couldn’t take a relaxing shower, both muttering under your breaths, practicing long speeches, determined to confess everything before sleeping tonight.

But when all was done for the night, both of you laid down on your respective beds, staring at the ceiling, unable to talk, unable to sleep.

Seungcheol turned his head as you did towards him, making his heart clench a little.

Sighing, he grabbed his pillow and put it on bed 4, lying down, facing you.

You looked at him blinking slowly.

Seungcheol held his breath.

Taking a deep breath, you grabbed your duvet and joined him on the fourth bed, throwing it over the two of you, lying down, facing him.

Seungcheol slid his hand over your waist, pulling you closer.

You gripped the material of his shirt, snuggling into the warmth of his neck.

Nothing was said that night.

Nothing had to be said as the two of you drifted off to sleep.

It was the harsh morning sun and the annoying chirping of the birds that woke you up.

You stared out of the window surprised at the bright light given the last few days were as gloomy as it could be. Seungcheol’s soft breaths tickled your shoulder as his arms held you tight, your back against his chest. Smiling you wiggled in his grip turning towards him, taking in how much more stunning he looked in the morning light-

Morning?

“Cheol.”

He hummed softly.

“Cheol!”

“What?”

“It’s bright outside.”

“That’s how mornings are Y/n.”

“Oh thank you for enlightening me.” You rolled your eyes. “Might I return the favour by reminding you that we had a flight at 5am?”

Seungcheol’s eyes flew open.

He quickly grabbed his phone from the nightstand, 11am flashing on the screen.

“Fuck.” He muttered, running his hand through his hair. “Fuck fuck fuck, I can’t believe we missed the flight!”

You took the phone from him and scrolled through the app. “The next flight out is tomorrow morning, same time, 5am.”

“But the company hasn’t paid for the room tonight, where will we stay?” Seungcheol groaned. “How could you not wake me up?”

You frowned at him. “And why is it my job to?”

“Because, you don’t like it when I put alarms on my phone.”

“Uh no, I don’t like it when you continue to sleep through the dozen alarms you put on your phone.”

“Whatever your reasons are, I think its been established that you are the one who's supposed to wake us both up.”

“Yeah well thanks to you I forgot to set an alarm.”

“Thanks to me?” He looked at you bewildered. “What did I do?”

“Who asked you to..” You pointed at everything around with the wave of a hand, the two of you only just registering the situation you were in.

“You were the one who came to my bed.” Seungcheol shrugged. “This is on you because you were desperate.”

“Says the one who’s boner poking into my back woke me up.”

Seungcheol gawked at you, stuttering. “M-morning wood is a scientific phenomenon, okay? I can’t help it-”

“I could have.” You muttered, slipping out of the bed.

Seungcheol pulled you back under him, half hovering over you.

“Oh yeah?” He bit his lower lip with a small smile. “How exactly?”

You hummed, “I happen to know some good meditation techniques-”, running a finger down his abdomen, tracing a random design.

Seungcheol grabbed your hand and pinned it to the mattress by your face, leaning close.

“Think of a better way, baby.”

The nickname sent a delightful chill down your spine as you slightly squirmed under him, smiling.

“How about I get you some ice-”

“That’s not what I want right now.”

“Then what do you want right now?”

His eyes ran along the features of your face.

“I want to kiss you.” He whispered. “So bad.”

“And what are you waiting for?”

Seungcheol groaned, immediately pressing his lips onto yours, needy and ravenous, like he had been waiting eons for this. Well, so had you.

Pushing him off you and onto his back, you straddled his hips, kissing him again, rolling your tongue over his. Seungcheol moaned into your mouth, one hand wrapping around your waist, the other holding you by the nape of your neck, taking back control. When you ran your hand over his thick pecs, he pulled away with a dreamy sigh, planting a trail of kisses along your jaw, down your throat.

“Strip for me.”

Sitting up immediately, you lifted your hips a little letting Seungcheol push the material of your nightdress up your thighs and you pulled it over your head, tossing it somewhere. In the ten seconds it took you to do that, Seungcheol was a changed man. The old him wanted to take his time unravelling you slowly, pushing you to the edge but the new Seungcheol felt the animal in him come alive with a throbbing, insatiable desire. It became exponentially worse when you pulled your hair up, tying it with the hair tie on your wrist, baring your neck, perfect breasts, soft stomach….unable to reign it in anymore, Seungcheol lunged forward, hungrily sucking a tit into his mouth, making you lose your balance over him a little, grabbing his bicep half laughing.

“Huh, I really thought you were more of an ass guy.”

Seungcheol let go with a wet pop, looking up at you from between his thick lashes. Oh wasn’t that a sight.

“For you, I’m an everything guy.” His hands gripped your ass hard. “Your derriere does take the cake though.”

You laughed, “Who even uses that word?”

“I don’t know, I have no idea what is coming out of my mouth right now.” He confessed, his tongue running up the gap between your boobs, the sweet and salty taste of your skin driving him insane. “I just know what I want in it.”

“Yeah?” You sighed, threading your fingers through his hair, pulling him back with a harsh grip, before he latched onto your other tit. “I have better things to put in it.”

Seungcheol grinned like he couldn’t wait, flashing his canines, biting his lower lip.

God he was going to be the end of you.

But you’ll beat him to it.

Palms planted behind you, you slid yourself back off his thighs and sat between his legs, lifting your own up for him. Seungcheol’s eyes darkened in an instant and the moment he saw the wet spot in the middle of your pink panties, he could not hold himself back anymore. With a swift movement he was up on his knees before you, hooking his fingers in the elastic by your waist and slowly dragging your underwear along your legs. Like a man starving he crumpled it in his hand, breathing it deeply, eyes fluttering shut like he was intoxicated by your scent.

“I’m going to be borrowing this, for whenever you’re not there.”

“Pervert.” You whispered as he tucked it in the back pocket of his tracks. “But I’m never not going to be there. I’m afraid you’re stuck for life now.”

Seungcheol fisted the material at the back of his neck and pulled it over his head, flinging it somewhere before he put his hands between your knees and spread your legs apart, groaning at the sight before him. You were quite literally hiding his paradise between your legs.

“Trust me,” He reached for a pillow behind him, throwing it to you. “I want to be stuck here.”

The moment you tucked it under your head lying back, Seungcheol wasted no time in crawling between your legs, tossing them over his shoulder, descending on your sex. You felt your back arch off the mattress as he devoured, his tongue, mouth, lips all showing you stars in daytime.

“Fuck Cheol.” You whimpered as his tongue slipped into your hole, his moan sending a wild vibration against it. Bringing your hands to his head, your fingers gripped his hair, pushing your hips up against him “Give me more.”

Seungcheol smirked, pressing your hips down, continuing his ministrations in a way that made your toes curl. Damn he knew what he was doing. For a split second you wondered how he knew so much and an ugly jealousy began coursing through you but it was lost almost immediately, when he began to suck on your clit.

“Cheol….” You moaned, the sudden stimulation too intense for you, a tightness growing deep inside. “F-fuck that’s good.”

Seungcheol knew he was good. Not because he was experienced, not exactly - more because he was desperate to taste every inch of you. If he thought the taste of your arousal was heavenly, the moment your legs trembled and your breaths got harsher and you came against his mouth, Seungcheol knew he’d cast aside the heavens for it. This wasn’t enough.

This was probably the fastest orgasm you ever had, waves of the buzz washing over as your jaw fell slack. You rode it out against his mouth, tense shivers running down your body as his nose grazed your clit before falling limp into the softness of the bed, chest heaving.

Seungcheol was so noisily devoted to making you fall apart on his tongue, he wasn't sure if you didn't moan his name or if he was too entranced to hear it. Either way, he had to go again, keeping in mind to put his eyes on you this time. When he looked up at you, your face was flushed, lips curled into a blissful smile and Seungcheol thought he fell more in love with you, if that was even possible.

“We're gonna have to talk about why you're so good at that.” You half laughed, trying to sit up. Seungcheol pushed you back down, throwing another pillow at you, humming.

“How good was I exactly?”

“Nice try big boy,” You stacked the pillow over the previous one, leaning back against it. “I'm not going to feed your ego.”

“I'll feed myself then.” He smirked before licking a long strip between your folds making you tremble with over stimulation.

“Cheol not yet-”

“If I don't hear you I'm not going to stop.”

And he descended upon you like a mad man again, making you gasp in surprise. You did not think he'd go through with it.

“Cheol I really can't-”

but Seungcheol did not stop.

When he didn’t listen, you reached to pull him off you but Seungcheol was quicker as he grabbed both your wrists in a flash and held them against your heaving chest, continuing to eat the life out of you.

“Seungcheol please.” You couldn’t even squirm if you tried to, held down hard by his brute strength. “I really can’t-”

He looked up, his mouth wet with his spit and your arousal as he licked his lips. Fuck you really loved this man.

“Do you actually want me to stop?”

He was taunting you but there's a slight concern laced in his voice.

You shook your head slowly.

“I thought so.” He chuckled before continuing his act of wolfing down on you.

Your second orgasm began to rush in with an unreal speed and you don't know how Seungcheol could read your body so well already but the little bitch backed out before you could cum again.

“Cheol…”

You whined, frustrated at the feeling ebbing away, desperately clenching to hold on to it.

“I said I wanted to hear you.”

You glared at him, not used to him having the upper hand. He knew he's got you under control when he finally loosened his bruising grip on your thigh to sit up and you opened your mouth on your own accord to let him slip his fingers into them.

“What a pretty little girl.” He sighed as you sucked on his digits. “My pretty girl.”

“Yes yours.” You moaned, as he pulled them out of your mouth and pushed them into his, wetting them more as you practically panted below him.

“I'll do what you want, just put them in me Cheol.”

“You're quite demanding baby.” He leaned over you looking amused. “I hope you deliver as well as you talk.”

“I'll suck the life out of your dick after this I swear, just let me cum again.”

Enticed by the idea, Seungcheol captured your mouth in another one of his messy kisses, his fingers slowly slipping into your heat. You gasped into his mouth, surprised by how thick his fingers were. Oh his dick would probably make you pass out and god were you ready for it.

“Say my name baby.” Seungcheol pressed his forehead against yours, still holding your wrists between both your bodies with his other hand. “Tell me who's making you feel so good.”

“You.” You moaned as he pumped his fingers, slowly stretching you open, your arousal dripping down between your thighs. “Fuck Cheol, faster.”

He obeyed, picking up the pace as you babbled a string of curses, legs squeezing his hand desperate to feel more. Seungcheol sucked on your neck, enjoying the way you were crumbling apart for him. How was he ever going to be away from you after this?

“Oh god yes.” You sighed, as his fingers curled hitting the spot, eyes rolling back. Seungcheol looked at you in awe.

“I apologise if I ever told you that it was annoying when you rolled your eyes.” He continued to push you over. “That was the hottest thing I've ever seen.”

“Yes yes yes.” You chanted not hearing him, too lost in your own pleasure building. Pleased with himself, Seungcheol finally put his thumb over your clit and that was all it took for you to cum all over his fingers with yet another silent scream.

Seungcheol let your hands go and sat back on his heels, admiring his artwork. Your chest heaved erratically like you had forgotten how to breathe, squeezing your tits, hands desperate to claw something. Hair sticking to your forehead, sweat running down your neck next to the bruises he marked, you were a vision to behold.

Seungcheol sucked his fingers clean, relishing the taste of you yet again. You stared at him wide eyed, curious.

“Have you never tasted yourself?”

You shook your head.

“Oh sweetheart.”

Seungcheol pushed his tracks down just a bit, enough to pull his dick out. It's not the longest you've seen but God was it thick, a stark vein running down the length which looked painfully hard. The thought of having him fill your mouth and choking around it literally made you drool.

He pumped it a few times before hooking his hands under your thighs and pulling you towards him with unsurprising ease. You scrambled to raise yourself up on your elbows, watching as he ran it up and down your slit, gathering your release on it.

“Come taste.”

You blinked at the man holding out his dick to you like it was a treat, like he expected you to crawl to him, stunned at just how cocky he had gotten in 20 minutes. Hell no.

You shook your head, tilting it in challenge.

“Come fuck my mouth.”

If Choi Seungcheol had a fatal flaw it was how much he desired control but right now, there was nothing he desired and craved more than you.

Moving over not so gracefully he aligned himself by your mouth, knees planted on either sides of your waist, looming over you.

You immediately wrapped your lips around his tip, humming at the weight on your tongue as he pushed your hair off your face softly.

“I know baby, you taste fucking divine.”

Giving him a half nod, running your tongue over his slit before hollowing your cheeks around him. The mix of your and his arousal indeed tasted….right, like they belonged together.

You tried to take in more of him but you might have underestimated his girth and overestimated your ability. Pulling back with a pop, you licked your lips.

“You're too thick.” Mumbling you tried to push him off you, onto his back. “Let me move over-”

“Oh no no.” Seungcheol clicked his tongue, grabbing the back of you neck, forcing you to look up at him. “It can't be that bad, someone claimed they could stack fruit loops on it.”

You rolled your eyes realising he was a bit too proud of himself. “I still can. I just don't have the cereal to prove it.”

“I'll buy some on the way back and when we go home that's the first thing you're going to do.” He wiped the spit leaking around the corner of your mouth with his free hand. “And if you don't manage to prove your point, that's grounds for punishment.”

You grinned at him.

“Oh you like that.” He hummed, guiding your head back to his cock. “We'll see how much of it you can take baby.”

A lot apparently.

Seungcheol should have known. You were like him - you didn't like to be challenged. That's why the moment he thrusted himself into your mouth, you held onto the back of his thighs with both hands, pushing it in a lot more than Seungcheol had thought you were capable of. Throwing his head back with a satisfied moan, he began moving his hips ever so little, slowly fucking your face, but you had other ideas, taking him as far back as you could, your throat constricting around his dick.

“Alright that's it.” Seungcheol pulled you off him, staring at your confused face. Somehow you had no gag reflex and Seungcheol suddenly had the endurance of a teenager. “Want to actually fuck you.”

He muttered drawing back, kicking off the remaining of his clothes and sitting up, trying to hide his breathlessness.

“Aw Cheol, was I right again?” You laughed, getting up and clambering onto his lap. “Is ten minutes really enough for you?”

“You'll see.” He pulled you into a deep kiss before abruptly breaking away, leaving you confused yet again. “Or not.”

“What?”

“I just realised… I don't have a condom.”

You waited for him to tell you he was kidding but he looked serious.

“Cheol….” He looked at you apologetically. “Ugh Choi Seungcheol, why not?!”

“One, don't call me that and two, I don't know, maybe because this was a work trip and the conference dress code didn't mention dick envelopes.”

You sighed annoyed. “I just always thought you'd carry one on you, xl sized.” You shot his overconfidence down before it even grew on him. “you know, for your head.”

“Oh because I'm a dick?” He rolled his eyes at the comment you had used on him too many times already. “Well, wouldn't that make you a little slut? Since you’ve been in love with me for so many years.”

“Who said I was in love with you?”

Seungcheol looked at you with the biggest, fucking cutest eyes. “Are you not?”

You smiled, surprisingly shy despite all that transpired so far. Honestly, you didn't have to answer that question. What you felt for each other was clear as day.

Putting a finger on his mouth, you whispered. “Less talking, more fucking please.”

Seungcheol groaned. “What do you want me to do? Go buy them now?”

“No…” You hated the thought of him leaving.

“Or…. I could pull out?”

“The last thing I trust in this world is your timing.” You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Besides, don't you want to be inside me when you cum? Squeezing you tight? Milking you dry?”

“Kinky.” Seungcheol raised an eyebrow, secretly delighted. “And shoot me if I ever say no to that, but you're not on birth control are you?”

“No…” You drawled. “But I can get plan b?”

“Baby, you realize how reckless this is-”

“I know.”

“-we've barely just-”

“I'm aware.”

“-plus your health-”

“Choi Seungcheol.” You pushed him back into the bed, annoyed. “Are you gonna fuck me or not? Because if you don't then I'm gonna do it myself and all you get is to watch-”

Seungcheol, tucked his arm under his head, looking like he liked that idea a little too much.

“-while I cum taking someone else's name.”

His eyes darkened as his hand wrapped around your throat, pulling you down to his eye level, “Try me sweetheart.”

“You know how I feel about challenges.”

“And you know how I feel about sharing what’s mine.”

“Then fuck me like I’m yours.”

Seungcheol smiled, dropping a soft kiss on your mouth, much in contrast to what followed. “Remember, you asked for this.”

One arm wrapped around your waist, he flipped you over, putting you below him once again, the hunger in his eyes burning a lot more now. As he shifted to push your legs apart, hand leaving your neck, a soft whine left you and Seungcheol caught it immediately.

“You’re into that too?” Seungcheol smirked as you frowned at him, annoyed.

“Apparently. I just found out as well.”

“I wonder what else you’re into.”

“You can wonder all you want, after you put that dick into me.”

Seungcheol clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “I don’t like how you think I’d listen.”

Yet before you could talk back, he slid his cock along your folds, the tip slightly dipping into your hole, pulling out the most exquisite moan from you.

“Now that’s something I’d listen to.” He pushed himself a little further, your hands immediately coming to grip his biceps, gasping again at just how big he was. Seungcheol had been dying to listen to you sound like this and god was it so worth it.

You attempted to relax, adjusting around his girth as he eased himself in, but gave up even trying to maintain the facade of composure when he bottomed out, pressing all the way in.

“Fuck yes Cheol.”

He hissed softly, feeling your soft walls flutter around him. He had never fucked anyone raw and after this, how was he expected to just not spend his whole life buried in you?

“Please, move.” You begged, and he folded immediately, his hips slowly picking up pace as he kissed you along your neck.

“We should have done this years ago.” He groaned, wrapping your legs around his hips, pounding faster, harder. “We should have been doing this for years now.”

You nodded half listening, half submerged in your pleasure, nails running down his back. “Let’s just never get out of this bed.”

Seungcheol chuckled, absolutely agreeing with that idea, snapping his hips faster, delighted by the way you were reacting under him.

He wanted to flip you around and take you from the back, mark your ass with the red prints of his hand. He wanted you sitting on him, fucking yourself on his dick while he watched, your head thrown back in pleasure. He wanted to eat you out till you cried, fuck your throat and make you swallow, pull every moan and every whine and ever chant of his name out of you. God he wanted so much but Seungcheol wasn't capable of any of those right now - he had been hard for almost an hour now and your grip around him was like a vice.

“Seungcheol more.” You whined, despite him already railing into you like there was no tomorrow. He still listened though, sliding his hand down between your bodies and finding you clit, well aware that you would probably go unbelievably tight the moment he touched it, rendering him absolutely helpless. Sure enough, you keened, clamping down on him hard the moment he began rubbing circles, a string of curses leaving your mouth.

“Cum for me.” He whispered, hips rutting against yours harshly, holding his own release back desperately. “Cum all over me.”

And you did, the pleasure washing over you in waves, legs tightening around him before they finally went slack, exhausted. Seungcheol pulled them off him, gripping your thighs instead, shifting from an erratic rhythm to quick, deep strokes as he finally came inside you, collapsing on top.

He was careful enough not to crush you under his weight, holding himself up a little so you could regain your breath, watching your eyes flutter tiredly.

“We need to get you cleaned up.” He tucked your hair behind your ear, glancing at your mixed arousals dripping out of you. “I don’t know how long the statute of limitations for ejaculate is….”

For the first time in your life, Choi Seungcheol had managed to turn you dumb, as you nodded mindlessly, not having registered the stupidity that just came out of him.

He chuckled, rolling off you, but you dragged him back by the wrist, wrapping your arms around him.

“Hold me.”

And as though the universe hated you, a sharp knock on the door made you two jump apart. Seungcheol still proceeded to hold you but the knocking only repeated, louder this time. He huffed annoyed, sliding off the bed, grabbing his shirt from the floor and threw it on. Opening the door just a little, half hiding behind it, lower half specifically, he peaked out but his plan was foiled when the receptionist pushed the door fully open and came barging in, throwing her hands around.

“Check out time was 12! You’re late-”

She froze as Seuncheol quickly covered himself with a towel from nearby and you scrambled in a hurry, hiding under the sheets, squirming in embarrassment.

The old woman slowly, still shocked to the core, muttered an apology and walked out of the room as Seungcheol smacked his head against the wall, regretting not wearing his pants.

“You…” She cleared her throat from the other side of the door. “You have till 2. Get it together and get out of my lodge.” She then walked away, the sound of her footsteps fading, before they suddenly got louder again. “I would also like to add that I knew this was going to happen from the moment you two stepped foot in here!”

You covered your face trying not to pass out from the embarrassment as Seungcheol locked the door laughing.

"Why does she sound so happy?"

“I cannot believe she saw us." You groaned. "Who walks in like that-”

“Who cares?” Seungcheol walked over to you. “I cannot believe we still have two more hours.”

“You’re not even ready to go again.” You looked pointedly at the softened dick in his hand that he was pumping lazily. “Besides, we're going to have to book the room again, for tonight.”

“2 hours isn’t enough for you? Oh baby-”

“Our flight is at 5am tomorrow you idiot, we still need a place for the night.”

“Right.” Seungcheol recalled, “I forgot we had to go… that this had to come to an end.”

“Nothing’s ending.” You clarified, putting a rest to his worries. “Didn’t you say, you and I, till the end?”

Seungcheol nodded as you held your hand out to him. He walked over taking it, dropping a soft kiss on your knuckles.

“Say.” And you knew an unholy thought was brewing in that head of his. “We have all this time and there are seven beds here.”

“I don’t care how many there are.” You laughed, pulling him into the softness of the sheets. “I only want one to share with you.”

A/n - this was supposed to be out a few hours ago but tumblr was being a bitch to me. Im adding the tags in the comments! Reblogs with tags, comments and asks are much appreciated, thank you for reading :)

---

✧.* he's not into you; hvc

synopsis: curious what the problem is in your dating life where you just can’t seem to get guys to commit fully to you beyond a second date, your work associate offers his help.

part of my ninety minute movies one shot series. ♡︎

paring: vernon x fem! reader.

genre: co-workers2friends2lovers (? lmao)

warning/s: mentions of substances (alcohol, weed, cig, vape etc.) swearing, very bad jokes!, sexy time (y/n has female genitalia!) pls no minors!!

word count: 6.3k

content: . non-idol idolings, some other svt members. y/n and vernon work at a bar.

note: our next stop in my fav little movie inspired writings is he's just not that into you!! a true classic in my eyes. and who better to be our male lead than bernon himself, a perfect silly goofy man. i acc tried to edit and be good?? for once.. lmao. love u xo. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Waltzing around your co-workers behind the bar like a choreographed dance, handing out drinks to some of your familiar customers, soaking cherries in alcohol, and stuffing your tips inside of your folder for the night it was a perfect distraction from the thoughts running through your mind about that awful date you had gone on the night before. 

You were convincing yourself all the guys you’ve been out with just weren’t for you, maybe to make yourself feel better, maybe just to put blame on someone else for the reasons you can’t seem to surpass a second date. 

“Y/N, could I get two vodka martinis. One dirty and one with a twist, twice shaken please.” 

“No problem, Som.” 

Somi was one of your co-workers and someone you’ve become close friends with working with her over the course of a year when the bar first opened. standing by your side on  the busiest night of the week, the other was Vernon,  he was slightly newer and unfamiliar standing next to you behind the bar, girls flirting with him left, right and center hoping to crack open his quiet yet charming exterior. 

Taking orders upon orders your body was craving a moment to yourself, being an introvert and working in a high volume environment with the type of company that spends hundreds of dollars a night just to sit at a table and feel important takes a toll on you. 

“Vernon, would you be cool if I stepped outside for a second?” 

“Yeah, no problem. I’m good.” 

“Alright, thanks I’ll be back in five.” 

“Sounds good.” 

Nothing more than his simple answers, for the most all you know about him is he’s your age, in college not sure what major he could possibly be studying, and he lives decently close to the bar, coming in on his days off with groups of his friends to have a drink of his own made at your own hands. 

Stepping outside the employee entrance into the back of the building, feeling the cool air light up your body, you decided to light up something of your own, a small perfectly rolled cigarette wrapped up in its signature strawberry flavored paper and vanilla tobacco inside. 

Three minutes into your first break of the night, the door slid open revealing the quiet boy standing in its frame. 

“Shit. I’m sorry, I actually need your help. A big group of finance dudes came in.” 

“It’s alright, I’ll save it for later.” 

Dipping the pastel candy like cigarette into the ashtray, basically kissing it and saying you’ll see it soon, you stepped back in with Vernon to your front strolling through the back room full of fresh liquor bottles. 

“This is a weird question. But what were you smoking? It smells good. Actually, normally cigarettes make me nauseous as hell.” 

“Oh. It’s a vanilla tobacco, but my rolling papers are strawberry so it’s kind of sweeter that way.” 

“No wonder. I always thought you smelt like vanilla musk, but I knew it was something different. I just assumed it was perfume. I like it.” 

“Thanks, Vern.” 

“Yeah. Want to take the table? Or wait for them to come up to us?” 

“I’ll go.” 

“Alright.” 

Cutting around the marble countertop, trying to avoid the patrons sitting at the end of the bar. You spot the group of men wearing their fancy suit jackets, and various colors of button down tops. One of them in particular was your date from a few weeks ago. The one who left you a post it note on your nightstand to wake up to basically telling you he wouldn’t call but thanks for the fuck. 

Swilling your pride, you stayed walking towards them, now with the pretty smile usually wiped across your face lost and turned into a closed lip grin. 

“Hey, what can I get for you guys?” 

“I’ll take you with a side of bourbon on the rocks please.” 

“Clever. I’m not on the menu. Anything for you.” 

Your fingers pointed towards the rest of the helm just patiently waiting for more unusual comments and weird flirting tactics. 

Your date though, kept his head buried in his menu, avoiding making eye contact with you out of his own embarrassment making you decide to fuck with him a little in front of his annoying crowd of friends. 

“And anything for you, Chris? Jack Daniels and Coke with a splash of cherry I presume? Or are you going to write your order down on a post it note?” 

His crowd erupted in laughter, clearly aware of his tactics when he leaves girls and decides to not call them back.

He muttered back it was fine as you walked off back to Vernon watching on with a smirk on his face. 

“You know him I assume?” 

“Unfortunately I do.” 

“Can I ask how?” 

You contemplated telling him a lie, just something simple like he was an old friend or an ex-boyfriend, but in order to keep him from opening up to you, you chose the real reason. 

“Actually we went out a few weeks ago. In the morning I woke up to a note taped to my pillow saying how he wasn’t interested in seeing me anymore but thanking me for being a good fuck and being so accommodating and sexy.” 

“No fucking way.” 

“I’m not kidding.” 

“Want me to spit in his drink?” 

“Yes. But I don’t want you to lose your job. It’s alright, not the first time for me unfortunately and actually maybe one of the nicer ones.” 

“Not the first time a dude you’ve fucked wrote you a note saying he’s not into you?” 

“There’s been worse believe it or not.” 

“You’ve piqued my interest.” 

“I’m sure.” 

“How do you meet dudes like that?”

“I’m a lucky girl, now do me a favor and take these drinks to them, because if I do I’ll probably say some shit I’ll regret.” 

“Alright. What’s his name?” 

“Who?” 

“Asshole over there.” 

“Chris” 

“Cool. Thanks.” 

“Vernon why?” 

“No reason, keep working.” 

“Don’t do anything stupid.” 

“My whole vibe is stupid, be back in a second.” 

Watching the boy out of the corner of your eye, you watched as he placed everyone’s drinks for them, reaching Christopher last, pretending to trip over his chair, spilling the alcoholic concoction over his pants. 

“Dude what the fuck?” 

“Oh shit, my bad. Let me get you a new one.” 

“Why the fuck are you so clumsy, how am I going to get a girl here when I look like I pissed myself?” 

“The girls that come in here don’t want some bitch who drinks cherry whiskey and Coke, they like real men. But I’ll be back in a second.” 

“What the fuck did you just say?” 

“You heard me, man. One second alright I’ll be back with your bitch drink.” 

Chris’s friends seem to be enjoying watching his night being turned into a shit storm, assuming they maybe don’t enjoy his company much either. 

“Why did you do that?” 

“He seems like a tool, he’ll be fine.” 

“Well thank you. It was funny, I had to hold my laughter in so he doesn’t think I made you do that for me.” 

“Safe bet.” 

Your night continued on until midnight when all the happy and drunk patrons exited the restaurant and you got to cleaning up the bar space, leaving you, Vernon, and Somi alone in the dimly lit room. 

“Vernon? Want to stay and have a drink as a thank you for helping me out. Somi would but she has to get back to her ball and chain.” 

“Are we allowed to do that?” 

“Well my dad owns the place, I don’t think he cares much.” 

“You’re dad? Wait what the fuck, I never put that together.” 

“Yeah. Him and his friends.” 

“Holy shit.” 

Laughing along with Somi at his amazement, you bid her goodbye before sliding into a bar top table, holding the glass of vodka in your well manicured fingers. 

Much to your surprise your more than shy coworker decided to stay with you sliding in next to you holding his own glass of beer. 

“So wait. I’m confused. Your dad and his friends opened the bar. Why do you want to work here?” 

“Easy. I always liked the idea of being a bartender and my parents would kill me for being a kid who didn’t have a job or work ethic and just using their money.” 

“Got it. Aren’t you in school?” 

“ I haven’t decided what to go for yet so I’m taking some time. Not sure yet. You?” 

“Journalism.” 

“For real? That’s cool as hell.” 

“Yeah.” 

Your phone lit up on the table blasting the ringtone really loudly in between you and Vernon, flashing the name Matthew on the screen. 

“Hey. Yeah, this is her. Oh really? Can you hold on just ONE second. Thanks.” 

Vernon waved you along letting you go on with the conversation with the guy who's been taking you on dates for the past week, curious why he’d be calling you late. 

 “Wait since I’m out of the loop, who was that?” 

“You really want to know?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay, so his name is Matt. We met at the coffee shop a few weeks ago. He was cute. He paid for my drink and we just sort of hit it off.” 

“Have you guys slept together?” 

“Yeah. The first day we met.” 

“Y/N no. You’ve got to make these guys wait. Like they’re getting exactly what they want from you before you even know if they’re fucking idiots or not.” 

“Really? Does that actually work though? I mean you heard him say he likes his ex there’s nothing I can change about that?” 

“Did you ask when his last relationship was before you guys started dating?” 

“Yeah he said he’d been single for two months.” 

“Two months? And he’s already back with her? Or was he always seeing her when you guys were together? What kind of dates did you go on? Dinner? Or?” 

“Coffee sometimes, then he’d just come hangout at my place most of the time.” 

“So you never went to his?” 

“No.” 

“So he was cheating on his girlfriend with you?” 

“What? No, he said he was single.” 

Vernon ran his hands through his hair and let out a sigh before looking back at you. 

“You guys met for coffee, you’d have him over to your place during the day, you’d have sex and he’d leave? You never saw his apartment? He just confessed that he’s been seeing his so-called ex over the phone the whole time you guys were quote on quote dating. He definitely lives with her and was fucking you for fun. You weren’t dating.” 

“Speaking from experience, Vernon?” 

“No. I’ve only ever dated one person seriously.” 

“So why are you giving me advice about my dating life?” 

“Because I had a successful five year relationship and you’ve had none? And you seem to need it.” 

“Wow. I would normally be pissed, but you’re right. I can’t seem to tell what I’m  doing wrong actually. Maybe I'm destined to be single.” 

“Not true. You’re pretty, nice, and you’ve got a cool ass life. You’ll be fine, you just need some editing maybe.” 

“So what? You want to be my relationship guru? Or?” 

“Yes.” 

You outstretched your hand to his and he shook it for you, confirming your now partnership where he would help you with your dating life. 

“Wait, before we go further. Try this.” 

Lifting the straw to your lips for you, Vernon offered you a sip of the drink he made.

“Wait, that's good, what is that?” 

“That assholes drink.” 

“I hate that I actually fucking like it.” 

“Me too.” 

You and Vernon spend the rest of your night together shooting the shit and getting to know each other more, once two am rolls around you both decide to head out and walk home. 

“This is me.” 

Much to your surprise Vernon swipes his key card to enter the same building as you. 

“Wait, you live here? How come I’ve never seen you in the building?” 

“I just moved in like three weeks ago. I spend most of my time in my apartment with my cat if I'm not at school or work.” 

“What floor?” 

“Seven.” 

Pressing the number seven on the elevator button before you tapped number thirteen, you and Vernon rode silently up to your separate homes. 

Before stepping off onto his floor, he pressed the hold door button.

“Come over tomorrow around six? I know you have the night off so we can hangout or whatever.” 

“Okay. What should I wear?” 

“You’ll figure it out. You always look nice. Casual is fine.” 

Rolling your eyes to his back as he strode off to his front door, you yelled a goodnight out of the door before they clocked shit and ran you up to your own place. 

Waking up the next morning you stepped out of your bed and pulled out all the ingredients to make a perfect cup of coffee, something that was like a religious ritual for you to clear your head before starting your day. 

After the brew was finished dripping though your pour over carafe you decided to take in some sun on your balcony and prepare your mind for the rest of the day until you were set to get ready to hangout with Vernon. 

The unexpected invitation to go on a quote in quote fake date with the boy had your head confused. What should you wear? What should you do with the little information given to you about what’s going on? 

After spending a few hours outside with your coffee and disconnecting from your phone, you decided to head back inside and go through your closet in search of the perfect casual outfit. 

Placing options on your bed, you hopped into the shower and spent time under the hot steam scrubbing your body from head to toe. After you were satisfied with your cleanliness, you stepped out and sat at your vanity, drying your hair and curling the front two pieces of your perfectly done up-do, painted your nails a perfect cherry red color, and put on your typical makeup look. 

Sliding your slippers back on you stood now in front of the three tops hanging in front of you feeling them for the perfect vibe. Eventually selecting a simple white button down top to match your gray pleated short skirt, slipping up a pair of simple tights and black heeled knee high boots. 

Finally the time came for you to run down seven floors and step off to find Vernon, knocking on the door to the left of the elevator a woman who you’ve seen around the building once or twice answered. 

“I’m sorry, I think maybe I have the wrong apartment. Excuse me-“ 

“You’re y/n?” 

“Yes. Hi.” 

“Hi, I’m Vernon’s friend Chae. I like your outfit, it's super cute.” 

“Oh. Thank you.” 

Stepping into the similar shaped apartment to yours, you notice the colorful paintings all over the walls, the beautiful soft blue couch, and the cozy smell of fresh linen hitting your nose, as you walked in further you saw a group of various people sitting around in his living room, some pouring themselves drinks, some standing around eating snacks and talking. 

“Would you like water or a beer or anything?” 

“Oh no, I’m alright for now thank you.” 

“No problem, I’ll just go see what he’s up to. Excuse me.” 

“Sure.” 

After waiting five minutes in the threshold of Vernon’s front entry, he peeled around the corner, dressed in an oddly similar outfit to yours, minus the heels and mini skirt. 

His crisp white shirt and matching gray coat and pants, a black leather bag, carrying a pair of nice black sneakers in his hand. 

“Hey, sorry I accidentally spilled cola on my other shirt, I had to change.” 

“That’s alright. I like your outfit though, you look cool.” 

“Thank you, I like yours too. I told you about casual dress though.” 

“This is casual?” 

“If you say so. Want a cocktail or something?” 

“Uh, sure? Wait though I thought we were going out or something, I didn’t know you had company. I can leave?” 

“No. Well, we’re going out a little later to a party,  I wanted to invite you, come on.” 

You stepped into his kitchen where he had various types of alcohol scattered on the counter, next to slices of pizza and a couple bags of chips. 

You looked around the room at the new faces, some of them you recognized from Vernon bring them to the bar with him. 

“Want the asshole special again? I actually made myself one.” 

“Weirdly I do, yeah.” 

Vernon laughed as he mixed you the same concoction he spilled the night before, handing it over to you gracefully. 

“Thanks.” 

“Yeah, no problem. This is a weird question, but did you roll any of your cigarettes or have any of those cute papers you use? I told my friend about them and he wanted to find some to roll a joint with.” 

Digging through your bag you pulled out the small case full of tobacco and papers from inside, holding out the pack to him to give to his friend, someone who you’re sure you’ll meet at one point or another. 

“Wow. Thank you.” 

“It’s cool, I have a bunch anyway. So, what does this have to do with you being my relationship guru anyway?” 

“Nothing actually. Just wanted to hangout with you more.” 

“Oh, right.” 

Something about Vernon being so kind to you and sticking up for you last night and today was making you see him in a different light almost like you were starting to have a crush on him. But he could never be into you that way, especially seeing how he interacted with his friend Chae. 

Walking around his apartment and saying hello to his friends, you chose a seat adjacent to the couch, one that was unoccupied and slightly out of the way. 

Some of his friends knew who you were without you even having to mention it. Talking and getting to know them. You excused yourself to the bathroom, but stumbled upon a room adorned with movie posters and music equipment. 

“The bathroom is right here.” 

Vernon pointed to the unlatched door down the hall, the same position as yours. 

“I know. I live here too. I was just being nosy.” 

“Oh. That's cool, you can check it out if you want.” 

Stepping into his office space, you smiled looking around at his various media and collectables, staring at the framed record on the wall signed by an artist you like yourself. 

“This is yours?” 

“Yeah. I got it as a birthday present when I was like eighteen. I love it.” 

“Sick.” 

“Sick? You’re so weird. Do people say that shit still?” 

“Fuck off. People definitely still say that.”  

“Not cool people.” 

“You literally told me I was cool yesterday?” 

“I spoke too soon.” 

As you and Vernon were standing in his room laughing, Chae appeared behind you both without your knowledge and gripped Vernon’s side, scaring the both of you with his reaction and finding her laughing her ass off. 

“You should have seen your guys’ faces. It was too easy.” 

“You’re such an asshole, I almost hit you.” 

“I’d like to see you try, big boy.” 

You just smiled, feeling a little awkward watching Vernon flirting with his friend.

“We want to head out, are you guys ready?” 

“I’m good, I think Y/N had to use the restroom though?” 

“Yeah. It’s okay, I think I might just head back to my place. I have a headache, but you guys have fun.” 

“No way, come on, take some tylenol and let's go.” 

“Chae. Let her leave if she doesn't feel good.” 

“She obviously wants to leave because she found your weird collection of fucking disney vhs tapes, not because of her headache.” 

“Not true.” 

“It’s fine. I’ll come, just let me use the restroom fast. I’ll meet you.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah.” 

Leaving you to do your business, Chae handed you two small white pills from her bag, and a swig of her beer to wash them down with before heading behind Vernon as they got ready to leave for the next location. 

After a few minutes  of walking you and Vernon’s friends  pulled up outside a bar you’ve never been to but heard a lot of your friends enjoyed, amply titled Love Bites.  

Vernon held onto your shoulders and walked you into the front door of the bar, pushing you towards a table where he told you to sit down and wait, as he walked away and left you with his friend to order everyone a round of drinks. 

The seat next to you that you’d hoped Vernon would fill was taken by a dark haired boy you hadn’t recognized from earlier back at the apartment. 

“Y/n? Hi, I’m Joshua. 

“Oh. Hi, nice to meet you.” 

“Vernon’s friend just so you don’t think I’m some random dude.” 

“Right. I figured.” 

“Actually I was the one who asked for the papers, thank you by the way.” 

“Yeah, no problem. Do you smoke? Like weed or?” 

“Yeah, just weed. I used to smoke cigarettes and vape for a while or whatever, but I stopped for a while. I just realized it was a boring habit.” 

“How’d you know I had strawberry papers, did Vernon tell everyone?” 

“No, no. He just said you were cool. Very friendly, but you didn’t talk about yourself enough and that you have nice smelling cigarettes that you smell like sometimes. Nothing too much really.”

“Oh. No dirty details about my weird dating life he pressed me about?”  

“Nothing about that, but he knows about my awful habits too. He always tells me I need serious help.”

“Yes. Me too, I called him a relationship guru.” 

“He thinks he is, but he’s had a crush on the same girl for a while. I'm not sure who she is, he never told me anything more about it. I’m not sure he’s the guy I’d trust to set me up that's for sure.” 

“Oh really? Is it, you know?” 

You pointed with your eyes across the table to Chae who was seated next to Vernon’s side. 

“I don’t think so. She’s definitely been in love with him forever, they were friends when they were kids and rekindled a few years ago when she moved back to town. She's really obvious about it, but he never said anything.” 

“Ah, I don’t know he seems to flirt with her alot.” 

“He’s just like that with everyone, overly friendly, kind of dorky.” 

“I see that.” 

You spent the entire night talking and getting to know Joshua, surprisingly finding out a lot of things that made you more and more intrigued about him. 

When the night finally came to a close, you left with his number and a plan to go out with just the two of you a few days later. Maybe Vernon being your friend was going to pay off more than you knew and his relationship guru advice brought you right into the hands of his very good friend. 

In the next few weeks you continued working and getting to know the pervious shy boy you thought Vernon was and going on actual good dates with his friend Joshua, who much to your surprise wasn’t the type to fuck you and forget you on a first date. 

Months passed by as your casual dating with Joshua went on and on, thinking that while it was good something with him was missing. But, you kept giving him a chance anyway. Unaware what that something was. 

On a night where you were getting ready to go out for a date you found Vernon outside of your apartment door, knocking on it wildly waiting for you to come and answer. 

“Is everything alright?” 

“Y/n.” 

“Want to come in?” 

“No. Yes? Is that alright?” 

“Are you okay? You’re acting weird as hell.” 

Vernon just nodded his head and sat down on your couch. 

“Are you getting ready to head out? You look really nice. I feel like I’m interrupting something.” 

“No. I just got home from a date actually. Why?” 

“Fuck. I’m sorry.” 

“It would help if you stopped saying sorry and told me what was wrong.” 

“Chae.” 

“Oh?” 

“She was over at my apartment. We were just playing video games and having some beer or whatever, but she tried to kiss me. And I let her at first, but I didn’t want to kiss her. I never have. I know she’s pretty and whatever, but like..” 

“Wait. So why did you come up here?” 

“Because I didn’t know what else to do? She’s still downstairs, she said she won't leave until we talk about what happened and she’s crying. I tried to tell her I wasn’t interested in her romantically and I liked being her friend, but she won’t take no for an answer. I just didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry I interrupted your nice night like this.” 

You walked over into the kitchen and poured Vernon a glass of water to hopefully settle him from rambling so much. 

“Can I ask you why you aren’t interested in her? I always assumed you guys had something going on.” 

“No. Never. She’s not my taste, I mean she’s really cool. But we’re really similar and I don’t want to date someone who reminds me too much of myself otherwise I’d get bored, but never break it off maybe because I’m too nice or maybe because I feel too comfortable. Does that make any sense?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Plus, I told her I liked someone else anyway and she got even more upset. She started accusing me of being a liar and leading her on.” 

“I’ll be honest and when I first met her I thought you liked her too, but the more I got to know you I realized you pretty much act that way around everyone you’re comfortable with.” 

“Right.” 

“Want me to help you get her out of your apartment?” 

“You would?” 

“Yeah. I still owe you for spilling that drink a long time ago.” 

“My god, no you don’t” 

“Shh, in my heart I do. Are you staying here or coming?” 

“I’ll come.” 

Heading down the elevator still in your nice date outfit, you grabbed his keys and unlocked his front door to find Chae still sitting on his couch, waiting for him to come home. 

Looking her up and down you found her dressed in shorts two sizes too small with Vernon’s T-Shirt draped over her body. Clinging to his pillow and looking you up and down. 

“What the fuck is she doing here, Vernon? She’s not a part of this at all.” 

“Actually, I’m here to ask you to politely get the fuck out of his apartment and stop making him feel bad for not liking you.” 

“You’re such a bitch, he does like me. The person he doesn’t like is you, so maybe you should get the fuck out of here. He just feels sorry for you.” 

“Chae, that’s not true and don’t talk to her like that.” 

“You’re actually defending her? She hasn’t been nice to me once since she met me. She just acts like an entitled brat around me all the time, making me feel stupid. She’s not a part of this conversation at all, don’t you understand how insane this is?” 

“She is a part of it actually, because she’s the girl I have a crush on and if I wasn’t so focused on making everyone else around me happy at the price of myself I would’ve been able to tell her that already instead of doing it like this.” 

“Verno-” 

“Her? You fucking like her? Seriously? She told me she never would date someone like you and that you’re dorky and a loser.” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? That’s never happened. You’re the one who parades around making me feel like an idiot and that I'm not good enough to be friends with Vernon. You know who’s being an entitled brat? You. You’re kicking this poor guy out of HIS apartment for not liking you back like a child, you’re sitting on his couch in HIS clothes, waiting for him to come back to you to try to pressure him into being with you when he told you he likes someone else. If you’re such a good ass friend to him like you constantly claim to be, then maybe be that good friend and get the hell up, give him his shirt back and get the fuck out or you can talk to him like the adult that you are and try to understand how he feels and continue being his friend. If you don’t like either option I don’t know what else to tell you. So, what will it be?” 

“If I talk to him, you need to get the fuck out of here, I don’t want you around.” 

“Fine with me, but stop being such an insufferable bitch and maybe have some compassion. Goodnight.” 

Not wanting to wait around for the elevator, you slammed Vernon’s door shut leaving them to have their conversation and walked up the seven flights of stairs back into your cozy home untainted by her bad energy. 

Hours later after you were showered and ready to destress from the absolute chaos your night has been, you poured yourself a glass of wine and sat on your to smoke a nicely rolled joint as a treat to yourself, leaving your phone inside your room and out of your eyesight. 

Suddenly mid-inhale another knock came to your door, half of you wanted to pretend you were asleep, but another part of you assumed whoever it was must have an issue with you smoking inside your home. 

Looking through the peephole of your front door, you saw for the second time in the night Vernon standing outside, now in his plaid pj pants and a hoodie pacing around waiting for you to answer. 

Taking in a deep breath you opened the door and took one look at his messy hair, realizing he must have been trying to sleep, but couldn’t. 

“Yes?” 

“Can I come in?” 

“Be my guest. Sorry I’m smoking weed inside, it smells weird.” 

“Can I have a hit actually?”

“Sure.” 

“Thanks.” 

Handing over the pink flower, Vernon took an incredibly long hit of the weed, exhaling it creating a cloud over the two of you. 

“Wine?” 

“Uh, not yet. Can I confess something to you?” 

“Is it about the girl you like?” 

“Sorry you had to find out like that. I was planning on telling you, but then you started seeing Josh and whatever else it just got away from me, it wasn’t the right time I know. I just let it slip.” 

“It’s okay, Vernon” 

“It’s not, especially when you’re not single. I feel like I ruined any relationship we had with saying it, even our platonic one.” 

“When you talked about ruining my nice night before? Didn’t you wonder why I was coming home from a date at 7:00pm? It was because I actually just broke it off with Joshua. He was really nice about it of course, but I just felt like we were friends and nothing more.” 

“Oh. So you’re not?” 

“Dating him? No.” 

“So I didn’t ruin it?” 

“My night? Not at all, it wasn't that great anyway.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Yeah.” 

Vernon took the opportunity to steal your glass of wine and downed it right then and there whispering a small sorry to you for doing so. 

“Okay, so. I knew I liked you the moment we started working together. I wasn’t sure how to tell you ever, I wasn’t even sure how to talk to you because you made me feel so awkward, not because you were mean or anything, just because I knew I’d sound like a fucking dumb ass. But, that night we first walked home together and had a drink. I found out so much about you, I liked you even more so I asked you to come and hangout with us at my place, I figured I could get some courage to finally ask you out, which ultimately I failed at again and it just spiraled out of control. It’s just gotten more and more bad for me, like bad in the sense I just can’t stop falling for you and you didn’t know. Until I essentially fucked it up further telling you I like you infront of Chae, which was a mistake too. I keep fucking it up.” 

“You're doing pretty good if you ask me, but you should’ve just told me a long time ago then none of this crazy shit would have happened.” 

“That's charming, no?” 

“Only because it's you.” 

“Look, I don’t need an answer from you now or ever, just know I wont be fucking weird about it anymore. I’ll let you go to bed. I’ll see you in a few days at work and everything will be good.” 

Vernon got up and tried to walk towards your front door for an exit, but you caught up to him in time, grabbing him by his shoulders and spinning him around just in time to plant a perfectly placed kiss on his pink lips. 

“I like that you’re fucking weird and for your information I admire your dumb vhs tape collection.” 

Vernon took his opportunity to kiss you again, even longer this time than the first one, pushing his tongue into your mouth, making you moan as his hands snaked their way around your body. 

“You taste like vanilla too.” 

“Nice?” 

“Perfect.” 

“Would us having sex count as us fucking on the first date?” 

“This would be considered fucking before the first date.” 

“Ah, I see. Is that a no-no?” 

“I’ll let it slide.” 

Vernon lifted you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his long torso, and carried you onto your couch, setting you down to be perfectly face to face with his enclosed penis, now beginning to grow inside of his pants. Dipping your fingers into the waistband of his pants you grazed the tips of your fingers over the head of his dick, making him shiver from the cold touch of your hands. 

Unwrapsping him like a present, his penis flew from his waistband and you quickly wrapped your lips around the soft pink skin, slightly creating a suction cup with your lips as his hands found their way to the back of your head and he fucked your face gently. 

As his speed picked up, the head of his dick was pounding its way to the back of your throat making him weak in the knees and unsure how much longer he could go on like this without relieving himself inside of your mouth. 

In order to savor this moment further, he against his better judgment pulled you off of him and got on his knees in front of you, running a finger down your neck, placing soft kisses on your lips and all the way down to your sternum, his fingers following along. 

Pushing over your panties to the side he ran those same fingers up and down your wet center, making you moan and push onto him, begging for him to put them inside of you without many words. 

When he was finally done teasing you, he placed his first two fingers at the entrance and ran his thumb over your clit making you squirm and let out a small moan, trying to grind your way further onto him. 

With the same speed as before he started pumping his fingers into your wet center, crawling his way into your body and making you overwhelmed with pleasure. 

Suddenly he was four fingers deep stretching you out as a preparation for you to be comfortable fucking his much larger dick when suddenly you squirted all over his bare chest, slinking back onto the couch in a fit of heavy breathing. 

Vernon didn’t let you off the hook though, he grabbed onto you hips, carrying you onto the floor under him. Finally fucking you through your previous orgasm, riding into the sensitive waters of your clit, softly sucking on your nipples as he slowly thrusted himself onto you, almost like it was the only way to cure the aching in your center. 

As the sweat and your bodily fluids mix their way together, the heavy breathing slowed to near silence, watching him in ecstasy fucking into you, noticing the beauty of the way his eyelashes ran across his cheeks and the small light gold flecks in his eyes. He’s never been more beautiful to you than he was tonight. 

Suddenly in your daze his lips came onto yours before he slightly lifted them off of you to whisper while they still grazed over the top. 

“Can I come inside?” 

“Please.” 

And with your verbal confirmation Vernon filled up your body with his semen and rode into his very own orgasm as well. 

Kissing you once again he got up and ran into your bathroom to grab a clean towel for you both to clean up with and laid back down next to you on the floor. 

Suddenly the two of you erupted into laughter, just thinking about how stupid you both were to see chemistry between you was about as hot as the sex you both indulged in. 

“I can’t believe you were going to leave.” 

“I can’t believe I thought you weren’t into me.” 

“Who said I wasn’t lying?” 

“The way you were moaning and fucking into me told me all I needed to know.” 

“Ok, hot shot.” 

“So about that first date?” 

“It’s on.” 

---

pairing: s.coups x reader word count: 4.8k warnings: a couple of swears i think, kissing, people being bad friends and treating reader badly :(, a tiny bit of poor self-esteem on reader's end but not much, seungcheol gets a lil mad at one point but it's nothing crazy

Author's Note: this fic is part of the Thirteen Valentines event, but can be read as a standalone! also, i would suggest listening to the song listed below to get a feel for the vibe of the fic, but it's not necessary.

pov by ariana grande

i wanna love me the way that you love me for all of my pretty, and all of my ugly too i'd love to see me from your point of view cause nobody ever loved me like you do

You feel like you’ve been subject to an intervention.

You’d come over to pick up a sweater you’d left at Jeonghan’s, and now you’re sitting on his couch while both him and Soonyoung stare at you, arms crossed. You have the distinct feeling that you’re being judged. 

“You’re here early,” Jeonghan finally says, and you immediately don’t like the tone of his voice. 

“Yeah,” you say, slowly. “Junseok couldn’t make it last minute, so I just came straight here.” You don’t miss the look that passes between Jeonghan and Soonyoung, and you inwardly groan in preparation when you realize what’s about to come.

”Wow, he canceled?” Soonyoung says, sarcastic as ever.

“We’re so surprised,” Jeonghan follows, and you roll your eyes. 

“Things happen,” you try, but your friends don’t even flinch. 

“Yeah, they always seem to happen with him in particular, especially when you guys have plans. Poor guy.” 

“Come on. Stop.”

Jeonghan smacks you on the arm, and you yelp. “He’s such a dick, Y/N. Break up with him.”

“We’re not dating! I’ve told you a million times that we’re just friends.”

“Does the fact that you’re just friends justify how he treats you?” Soonyoung asks, and that hits you, hard. Your shoulders slump, and Soonyoung sits next to you on the couch.

“He’s just forgetful,” you murmur, but even as you say the words, you don’t really believe them yourself. 

“Hoshi is the most scatterbrained person I’ve ever met,” Jeonghan points out, “and even he remembers plans.”

The man in question appears offended for a brief moment, before quickly brightening up at the end of Jeonghan’s statement. “Yeah,” he nods solemnly in agreement. “I sometimes forget my sentences half way through. If I can remember making plans with my friends, so can he.”

You remain silent. You know they’re right, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“You know who else never cancels on you, at least not without a solid explanation?”

You know where this is going, but you’re definitely going to pretend that you don’t. “Joshua? Seokmin? Love those guys. Truly the most loyal companions and —“

“Seungcheol not only sticks to plans, he also makes them with you first,” Jeonghan continues on, interrupting you, not even batting an eye as he ignores your pouting. 

“And he’d probably rather poke his own eye out than cancel on you,” Hoshi supplies.

“He’s my friend,” you protest weakly. “Do you mean you guys wouldn’t gauge an eye out on my behalf?”

“No,” the two men opposite you answer at the same time, and you sink back into your seat with a huff. 

“DK would,” you mumble.

“Yeah, but — bless his stupid ass — he’d do that for any of us,” Hoshi points out. “Seungcheol, on the other hand, thought it was funny to lock me out of the bathroom when I was hungover and needed to throw up last Saturday morning.” 

“Okay, but Cheol told me that you spilled a bottle of vodka all over his new laptop while you were drunk and tried to cover it up,” you counter. Hoshi opens his mouth to retort, but Jeonghan cuts him off. 

“Last week, he canceled lunch with Mingyu and I just because he didn’t want to get out of bed.”

“He had an exam the night before!” you protest, quickly jumping to Seungcheol’s defense in his absence. “For a really hard class, too! He was telling me about it when he came over to study.” The two men stare back at you pointedly, and you feel your cheeks flush. “What?”

“Nothing,” Jeonghan simply smiles, and it unsettles you. “Just that I’ve known Seungcheol for three years and I’ve never, not even once, seen him willingly study with someone else. He always talks about needing to focus alone.”

You feel a blush creeping up your neck, and try valiantly to hide it with your turtleneck sweater. “Maybe you guys are just annoying.”

“Or maybe he’s in love with you,” Soonyoung pipes up, a wide grin on his face, and you let out a whine. 

“Stop,” you plead as the two of them high-five. 

“You and Seungcheol are so annoying. If we’re talking about good ‘friends’,” Jeonghan puts quotation marks in the air around the word as he says it, “he should be at the top of your list. That man cares about you so much it’s kind of sickening.”

”Are you saying you don't care about me?”

You’re trying to change the subject, and Jeonghan knows it. He glares at you. “We care about you enough to try and knock some sense into you, don’t we?”

“I’m leaving,” you announce, pushing yourself off the sofa, sweater in hand. 

“Hey,” Jeonghan calls out as you pass through the threshold. “Can you take this, too?” He appears a second later as you’re tying your shoes, holding out a pair of socks. You raise an eyebrow in question. “They’re Cheol’s,” he explains. “I can almost guarantee you’re going to see him before I do.”

“How do you know that, Jeonghan?” 

“When are you guys hanging out next?”

You squint at your friend for a moment, before you begrudgingly take the socks from his hand. “Tomorrow morning,” you murmur. You pointedly ignore Jeonghan’s laughter as you all but slam the door behind you. 

“How was yesterday?”

“Hm?” You hum through a mouthful of food, glancing back up at Seungcheol. 

You’re sitting across from him at your favourite cafe. It had been silent since your food arrived and you’d both shut up to shovel food into your mouths, so you’re surprised when he speaks up. You also have no idea what he’s referring to.

“You hung out with Junseok last night, right?” Seungcheol asks, and you wince.

“Oh,” you manage. “No, we didn’t end up getting together.”

Seungcheol doesn’t hesitate, clicking his tongue as he brings his coffee mug up to his lips. “Asshole.”

“Cheol.”

“What? He’s an asshole.” He sets his coffee down again, elbows on the table as he runs a hand through his hair and asks, “Did he cancel, or did you?”

You look back down at your food. “He did.”

Seungcheol simply nods, crossing his arms as he leans against the back of the booth. You’re reminded again of just how big his arms have gotten lately, and you try to shake the thoughts before your gaze lingers just a bit too long. “Of course he did.”

“He’s trying,” you mumble miserably, knowing it sounds lame, even to yourself. “He’s getting better at following through.”

The man in front of you raises his eyebrows. “Is he?”

“You’re being a dick.”

“I’m just telling the truth.” Seungcheol shrugs. “Why do you even like him?”

“I don’t like him like that anymore,” you mutter. “I haven't for a while. It was a dumb crush, Cheol, you know that. We’re friends now.”

Seungcheol scoffs. “Okay, well, I’m your friend too. And as your friend, I’m telling you – he’s an asshole.”

This time, you don’t offer a rebuttal. You fall silent, pushing the eggs around on your plate. You can feel Seungcheol watching you, and you can practically hear his defenses lowering the longer you stay quiet. Usually, you can keep up with his banter and sass, but you know he can tell that you’re actually upset now. You’re tired of arguing. Deep down, you know he’s right, and you don’t have it in you to meet his gaze.

“Somebody who cares about you wouldn’t do stuff like that, friend or otherwise,” he finally speaks again, his voice softer now. “I know it sucks… but sometimes, it really is that simple.”

“Yeah,” is all you say. 

“Hey.”

You make yourself look at him again, offering him as much of a smile as you can. 

He smiles back, soft. “People care about you, okay?” 

You nod. The longer he looks at you, the more you start to feel that electric current, that low buzzing that seems to take over your entire body whenever Seungcheol is close. Jeonghan’s words linger in the back of your mind as he finally looks away, breaking the tension between the two of you.

That man cares about you so much it’s kind of sickening.

You hate how downright… silly you feel.

”He promised he’d make it this time,” you sniffle, and Seokmin squeezes you tighter into his side. “He even booked the tickets. Why would you book the tickets and then cancel on the day of?”

“Once a liar, always a liar,” Jeonghan calls out from his kitchen. 

“Once an asshole, always an asshole,” Seungcheol agrees. He’s leaning against the doorframe that separates the kitchen from the living room, and you don’t know why it hurts a little that he hasn’t tried to comfort you at all since you walked in. His comment only serves to upset you more, and you glare at him.

“Are you happy?”

Seungcheol blinks in surprise, turning back to you from where he was watching Jeonghan in the kitchen. “What?”

”Are you happy that you’re right? Do you feel good about it, Cheol?” You can feel Seokmin pat your shoulder comfortingly, but it doesn’t help — you’re annoyed now.

”What are you even talking about, Y/N?”

“You’re right — he’s an asshole. You’re right. You love being right, don’t you?”

The silence is almost palpable. Jeonghan has stopped moving in the kitchen, Seokmin is frozen next to you, and you can cut the tension in the room with a knife. Seokmin slowly moves to stand up, heading into the kitchen with Jeonghan, leaving the two of you alone.

“It’s not about being right,” Seungcheol finally says, and you avoid his gaze when he joins you on the couch. “All I care about is the fact that he should treat you better.”

Seungcheol’s tone leaves no room for argument, and you can feel your shoulders sag. You know that he’s right — and you hate it. 

“I know,” you admit, and all of your misplaced anger drains from you in seconds. “I know he should,” you repeat, feeling your remaining defenses start to crumble. “So why won’t he?” 

You say the last words so quietly that you’re surprised anyone hears you, but you know that at least Seungcheol has when his shoulders fall. You hear him inhale a breath, but you speak again before he gets a chance to say anything.

“I just don’t understand why I’m not worth the effort.” You can hear your voice crack, followed by silence, and then — you break. The tears are falling before you can stop them. You feel the couch shift as Seungcheol turns. Whatever hesitation he’d had about comforting you before seems to ease up as his hand finds your knee and gives it a gentle squeeze. You’re grateful, but you still can’t look at him.

“What about the people who do treat you well?” His tone is softer now, but you can tell he’s still upset by the tone of his voice. You don’t have a chance to answer before he speaks again. “I could tell you a million times how great I think you are, I could make a thousand plans to hang out, I could go on and on about how much I like being around you… but nothing will change until you figure out a way to believe me. I—“ He clears his throat. “We— care about you so much. All of us. We should be the people that matter.”

“But what did I do wrong? With him?”

Seungcheol’s hand on your thigh is gone in a flash. He stands up, and you miss his warmth immediately. “I don’t know what else to say,” he says, voice low. He’s angry, you can tell, but he would never admit to it. 

You want to apologize, desperate to bring him back to you, but you’re frozen. 

“I’m going to head out.” He doesn’t say anything more, doesn’t look back at you. Jeonghan and Seokmin appear from the kitchen, but no one says anything except for a ‘drive safe’, and then he’s gone.

It’s silent for a moment, and then you say, “I fucked up.”

To your surprise, Jeonghan doesn’t scold or tease you. He doesn’t even agree. Seokmin disappears back into the kitchen to tend to the food Jeonghan was cooking, but Jeonghan himself joins you on the couch with a sigh.

“Listen,” Jeonghan starts. “You and I are similar — we always tend to focus on the people that don’t care. We want to be loved, so when someone doesn’t put in as much effort as us, we feel like we have to figure out why. We want to know what we did wrong, even though we didn’t do anything wrong at all. We forget that there are tons of people that love us a lot already. I love you, for example.” Jeonghan pinches your thigh affectionately, before he juts his thumb in the direction of your front door. ”Or what about that guy? The one who just left my apartment, pissed, because you let someone make you question your worth? He cares about you without thinking twice. For him, it’s effortless. You’re worth it, and you’ve never had to prove that to us. You just are, and always have been.”

You’re officially crying now. You know you’ve really upset Seungcheol, and you know your friends are all right. You know it, you know they love you and you love them, but why don’t you believe that you deserve it?

“I should go home,” you say softly, but your hand squeezes Jeonghan’s in acknowledgement, in a quiet thanks.

“I won’t say anything else except for this,” Jeonghan says gently. “I know you think Cheol is worth it, too. Being with someone doesn’t always have to feel like effort.” He shrugs. “Sometimes, it’s effortless.”

You spend the next week thinking, and thinking, and thinking, until the ball drops and you finally just do it. You block Junseok on every social media, you delete his number, and you’re proud of yourself for it. You don’t message your friends back very much throughout the week. Seungcheol in particular has been radio silent, but you suppose you deserve that. You don’t reach out first, instead taking the time to process everything that’s happened, to process everything you’re feeling — and not just about Junseok. 

You know that Seungcheol has always meant a little bit more to you than anyone else. Now, you’re wondering why you’ve never done anything about it — and you’re also wondering just how long you’ve been blind to the fact that Seungcheol most likely, almost definitely, likes you back. 

Y/N [5:36pm]: early Galentines dinner at my place this Sunday at 7?

You receive an almost immediate thumbs up from Seokmin and Soonyoung.

Hannie [5:43pm]: yaaaaas

Wonu [5:44pm]: might be a bit late but I’ll be there 

Kwanie [5:52pm]: NOOOOO I’m busy :(

Kwanie [5:52pm]: galentines?? WITHOUT ME????? UNBELIEVABLE

You smile at that, texting Seungkwan a private apology in a separate chat. Your heart jumps in your chest when you receive another notification, and you’re filled with relief so quick and intense that it feels like you’ve been doused in water.

Cheollie [5:58pm]: I’ll be there. Cheollie [5:58pm]: need help setting up?

You hug Seungcheol the second he walks through your door. He reciprocates, and you feel relieved and anxious and warm and fuzzy all at once.

Now, a half hour has passed, and neither of you have mentioned what happened the week before. He tells you about his week at work, and you hate the small talk but you know it’s all just the road back into the familiar ease of your friendship — so you participate. It’s only when you’ve finished getting ready for dinner, Valentine’s Day decorations and lights all strung up and ready to go, that he speaks up again. You’re preparing tea for the two of you when he catches you entirely off guard. 

“Will Junseok be joining us tonight?”

You can feel your shoulders tense up. You can tell that it pains him to say it, but you also know he’s the brave one for even bringing it up. You take a deep breath. 

“He’s not coming tonight, or any other night, actually.”

Seungcheol seems surprised as he hands you a mug from the cupboard before grabbing one for himself. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

You shrug. “It’s okay. I’m fine, really.”

Seungcheol’s eyes follow you as you move across the kitchen to the kettle, pausing before speaking again. “I can tell.”

You turn back to him as you click the kettle on to boil, an eyebrow raised in his direction. “Was that sarcastic?”

The man smiles as he shakes his head. “No, I mean it. You seem happier than...” He trails off, but you both know what he’s thinking: than when I saw you last.

“I am,” you reply honestly, and it’s silent again for a moment before you both start to speak at the same time.

“Listen, I–”

“Hey, Cheol–”

You can feel warmth start to spread through you when he begins to laugh at your clumsiness — it had only been a week, but you’d missed that. You’d missed him. 

“You first,” you offer, and he nods.

“I’m sorry that I was frustrated when I left the other day,” he says, and you tilt your head in surprise at his apology. He shrugs before continuing, “I shouldn’t have left like that… but in my defense, I didn’t know you’d disappear for a week.” He’s joking, and you smile a bit at that.

“I’m the one who should be sorry, Cheol.” He joins you at the counter and you begin to pour hot water into both mugs, eyes focused on the task at hand, but you can feel him next to you. It suddenly all feels so intimate, the way you’re making tea for him the way he likes it without him saying a word, the way he watches you move around in your kitchen as if he does it every day. 

You turn to hand him his tea and when your eyes meet his, you feel a flush begin to creep up your neck to find him already looking back.

“I mean it,” you say softly, and he hums in response, eyebrows raising as he takes a sip and waits for you to continue. “I really am sorry for not being around the last couple of weeks.” You hop up onto the counter, legs dangling off of it as you wait for your tea to cool. 

Seungcheol sets his mug down on the counter and sends you a soft smile, one shoulder lifting in a shrug. “It’s okay. I get it.”

You nod, looking down, and pick at a thread on your jeans. “Thanks,” you say quietly, but he knows you’re not finished speaking. His eyes don’t leave your face, and his fingers still grip onto the handle of his mug as he waits, ever patient, for you to gather your thoughts. “I’m still sorry, though. I was just so overwhelmed and didn’t want to deal with it, so I let everything build up to a breaking point.”

“I promise it’s okay,” Seungcheol repeats. He’s being genuine — you can hear it in his voice. Your eyes meet his again, and you almost wish they hadn’t because you have more to say, and you might lose all of the courage left in you if he keeps looking at you like that. 

“Just… Just let me explain,” you request quietly, and he nods again. “I… I guess I just needed a bit of time to myself. To figure out what’s important to me.” You pause, choosing your next words carefully. “To figure out who is important to me.” 

You can feel your cheeks flush as you finish. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you this whole time, and you think your heart is in your throat now as he continues to gaze at you.

“Yeah?” 

Does he understand what you’re implying? Your eyes move to land on the dark strand of hair that’s fallen into his eyes. You suddenly feel a desperate need to reach out, to brush his hair back, to touch it. To touch him. Would he let you? Does he want that, too?

“Yeah,” you finally repeat, your quiet voice matching his as you meet his gaze again.

He moves then, slowly, almost as if he’s worried he’ll scare you off, shifting closer and reaching across your legs to set his mug in the sink. Your breath catches in your throat as he straightens back up in front of you, his now-empty hand falling to the counter beside your thigh. He’s standing right in front of you, caging you in between his arms, and you can’t look away.

“And what’s the verdict?” Comes his question, dark eyes searching yours.

“That I should start to focus more on the people that show me they care. Because those are the ones that I care about the most, too.” 

The tension in the air is palpable. 

Then his fingers gently, tentatively, brush against yours where they rest on the counter. He doesn’t do anything more, testing the waters, and it takes everything in you not to shiver. His gaze falls to your mouth, and you hold your breath — then he looks down and away from you, his eyes squeezing shut, and the moment is lost.

“Cheol?” You say carefully, desperate to get him to look at you again. He hums in response, but he doesn’t look up. You don’t know what he’s thinking, but you feel like if you don’t say what you want to say right now, you never will. “Thank you.”

That seems to get his attention as he lifts his head to meet your gaze once more. You can tell he’s surprised as he murmurs, “For what?”

“For being here.” You’re not sure if that’s what you meant to say, or how you meant to say it, because it sounds far too simple for how you feel about the man in front of you. And then he smiles.

“Of course,” comes his reply. You watch as his smile grows and he says, “I was told there would be free beer.”

You blink at him for a moment, processing — and then you let out a single, surprised laugh. You feel some sense of relief wash over you as the tension between you breaks a little, as everything around you seems to soften. You feel a little bit like you’re glowing from the inside out, warm and fuzzy like the pink heart-shaped lights strung up around your apartment, and you wonder if he feels it, too. You’re starting to think that maybe he does.

“Cheol,” you say, and you offhandedly wonder why you’re saying his name so much. He grows serious again, but the lighter air between the pair of you gives you just enough confidence to continue. “I don’t just mean today,” you elaborate, your voice soft. You feel vulnerable now, even more than before, your eyes falling to your lap. “You’re always there when I need you, and even sometimes when I think that I don’t.” Seungcheol laughs quietly at that. “It means a lot to me.”

He doesn’t hesitate. “You mean a lot to me.” 

When you look up, you find him gazing back, and you abruptly realize that he’s moved even closer. The fingers that were playing with yours move up to your waist, and your entire body reacts to the warmth of his palm. 

“Is this okay?” He murmurs, a quiet question that threatens to overwhelm you. He’s making sure that you want this just as much as he does. It sends a shiver down your spine.

“More than okay,” you affirm. His mouth lifts at the sides, dimples just peeking through. Again, you think that there’s something more that you wanted to say, but your breath is caught in your throat and he’s just so… beautiful.

“I…” He trails off, and you watch as his eyebrows furrow. You’re desperate to be even closer as you wait, closing the final space between you to press your forehead to his. “It was so hard not talking to you this week,” is what finally he says, and though he hasn’t said much, you think you understand. 

I missed you. That’s what he’s trying to say.

You desperately want to communicate to him that you won’t leave him like that again, that you don’t plan on going anywhere, that the last seven days away from him sucked just as much for you. In a bold move, you ease your legs apart, leaving room for him to stand between them. Your calf moves to hook behind his knee, tapping against him in a silent request for him to come even closer. You hope he understands — that you want him close like this, that you missed him more than you think he realizes.

He seems to understand you just fine.

He easily fills the space you made for him, his chest nearly flush against yours now. He gives your waist a gentle squeeze, and you inhale a shaky breath as he brushes his nose against yours. Your hands have found his shoulders, grasping onto the material of his sweater, and his eyes fall shut.

The same, pesky strand of hair is falling into his eyes again, and you’re pretty certain that given your current position, you’re allowed to do something about it now. So you do, lifting a hand to gently brush it back and over his forehead, gaze following the movement. His eyes open at the touch, and a whisper of your name brings you back to him. 

The moment you lock eyes again, he’s leaning forward to capture your mouth with his. 

Your hand falls from his forehead to his bicep as you gasp into the kiss, as you try and process. When you do, when you realize what’s finally happening, you can’t get enough. You’re pulling him in so close that you feel a bit feral, your fingers pressing into his arms, his back, one hand finding its way to the hair at the nape of his neck. You can tell he’s not faring much better than you as he chases your lips relentlessly, as he pulls you into him so close that you can’t feel anything but him. 

When you finally need to breathe, your hands find his face. You pull back, eyes taking him in as he lets out a breath, like he can’t believe what’s just happened, either. He looks at you, and you look back, and you have no idea what to say or do — until suddenly, you’re beaming. You can’t help it as you pull him back in for one long, slow kiss, grin wide against his mouth, your hand moving again to the back of his neck. He’s smiling, too — your favourite smile of his, the one that’s completely, entirely genuine — and when he pulls away only to bury his face in your neck this time, you can feel the smile against your skin.

“Fuck, I’m in love with you.”

It’s quiet, whispered against your skin, but you hear it. Your fingers pause their trail up and down his back. You move his face back up to look at him, your eyes searching his, desperate to know if you heard him right. “Cheol?”

He kisses you again, once, twice, so slow and soft that it makes your head spin. “I love you,” he says, breathless against your lips. He waits for you as you let it sink in, his hands firm on your waist, eyes boring into yours so you know that he means it. 

You believe him.

“I love you too,” you whisper, foreheads moving to rest against each other once more. “I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t be. It’s okay.”

He pulls you into his chest, and you can feel just how fast his heart is beating. You’re certain that yours isn’t doing much better.

“I do have a question though,” he says after a few moments pass, and you hum, urging him to go on. “You said you were going to spend more time with the people that care about you, right?” 

You move back to look at him and tilt your head in question. “Yes?”

“I’m guessing that includes Jeonghan and Hoshi and the boys,” Seungcheol muses, and you nod, your eyebrows raising. Then he pouts, and you sputter out a laugh.

“What’s that face for? They’re your friends, too!”

Seungcheol huffs. “Yes, but if you meant that you’re going to kiss them like that, too, then –”

You clap a hand over his mouth. “Ew!”

The man in front of you has a shit-eating grin on his face now, and you remove your hand. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

“Trust me,” you shudder, “you’re the only one I’ve ever thought about kissing.”

“You’ve thought about it, huh?”

You look up at him, smacking his chest. “Shut up!”

“Don’t worry, I’ve thought about it too.” When he moves to kiss you again, you stop him with a hand on his chest. “Speaking of our friends,” you tease, “they’re literally going to be here any second. You have permission to kiss me as much as you want to later, okay?”

A/N: here it is! The first of our Thirteen Valentines. I have to be honest, I got a little carried away with this one... I'll put out a full disclaimer that not all of the fics will be this long! Seungcheol has a solid grip on me and I couldn't do anything about it, you guys.

Please please please reblog if you can to spread the word, and check out the Thirteen Valentines masterlist! If you want to be added to the taglist, send me a message :)

Taglist: @waldau @wqnwoos @tae-bebe @gyuminusone @savventeen @eoieopda

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Hey Layla can you please do me a joshua receiving head but you HAVE to add him saying "just lime that" because I absolutely breaks me😭

— giving joshua head — WARNINGS: smut, blowjob, moaner joshua, idk maybe sexual vocalization (?) joshua moaning; "just like that"

you love when joshua crumbles in your hands, and you enjoy every moment of it. because, he is the kind of man who is a pleasure to give a blowjob to, because he shows it, almost like a glass box, completely transparent, showing the immense pleasure he feels with each suck.

the way he tries to keep his composure at first, biting his lip and suppressing his moans, only makes you want to push him further.

you start slow, your tongue tracing the vein along his length, feeling him twitch under your touch. his breath hitches, and you look up to see him staring down at you, his eyes lidded, low, you love the way he looks at you, like you’re the only thing that matters in that moment.

“you look so good like this,” you murmur. “so desperate for me.”

he swallows hard, trying to keep his cool, but you can see the cracks forming. “please, y/n,” he whispers, his voice shaky.

you smirk, taking him deeper into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck hard. his reaction is immediate; his head falls back, a whiny moan escaping his lips. you can feel his abs trembling beneath your hands, and you smile around his cock.

“just like that,” he groans, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. “fuck, just like that.”

you hum in satisfaction, the vibrations making him gasp. you pick up the pace, your tongue swirling around the tip before taking him deep again. he’s falling apart, his moans getting louder, his body tensing as he struggles to hold on.

“look at you, joshua. you’re so pretty when you’re falling apart.”

he can’t even respond, his moans turning into desperate whimpers. his knees are quivering, and you know he wouldn’t be able to stand if he tried. you take him as deep as you can, your hand stroking what your mouth can’t reach, and he loses it.

“oh god, y/n,” he cries out, his head falling back against the couch, eyes rolling back in pleasure. “please, don’t stop. please…”

you can feel yourself getting wetter at his desperate pleas, the way he’s completely at your mercy. you suck harder, faster, determined to push him over the edge. his moans are music to your ears, and you can feel his thighs tensing, his whole body trembling.

“i’m close,” he pants, his voice barely a whisper. “so close…”

you don’t let up, your mouth working him relentlessly. with a final, shaking gasp, he comes, his hips bucking as he spills into your mouth. you swallow every drop, milking him for all he’s worth, savoring the way he’s completely undone beneath you.

when he finally comes down, his breathing ragged, you pull away, wiping the corner of your mouth with a satisfied smile. he looks at you FUCKED, his body still trembling slightly.

“you’re amazing,” he says, his voice hoarse. “i don’t think i can even move right now.”

you laugh softly, crawling up to kiss him gently. “good,” you murmur against his lips. “that’s exactly what i was going for.”

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