I Should Maybe Wait To Post This Until I Cool Off A Little Because I Might Say Some Things I Regret But...nah,

I should maybe wait to post this until I cool off a little because I might say some things I regret but...nah, I'm gonna get it out of my system before I boil over.

This Yoongi situation has gotten sick. It's perverse, it's fucking medieval. What the fuck? Is this fucking public self-flagellation in any way necessary? What's next? Is he gonna have to wear a fucking hair shirt? Get driven through the streets while someone shouts "Shame!" behind him? Will that be enough chastisement? You wanna put him in stocks in the middle of Gangnam and have people throw shit at him?

Who is demanding that he prostrate himself like this? I didn't even need that first apology, much less this appalling spectacle. I can't imagine anyone other than some fucking perverted anti wants to see this from him. I can't even...

"...a significant stain on the precious memories I have shared with the members and fans...brought shame to the name of BTS..."

What? What is he talking about? Is this normal? Is this a "Korean culture" thing? Is this something he has to do as a matter of rote just to "display remorse" and settle his case? Someone fucking help me out here. Help me understand why anyone would feel compelled to say such awful things about himself over a routine offense that's barely worse than jaywalking.

"I apologize for putting the members, who have always believed in me, through such a difficult time because of my own actions."

Stop it. They love him. They'll endure anything for him. They still believe in him. They always will.

"I am deeply sorry to the fans who have always given me more love than I even deserve… I know that no words could heal the wounds and disappointment that have set in your hearts..."

Stop, stop, stop. I can't bear this. The "wounds and disappointment?" What? What? I wish I could tell him to his face: I am not wounded! I am not disappointed! You didn't assault someone. You didn't murder anyone. You did nothing violent or vicious. You had a few too many and fell off a fucking putt-putt scooter. Big fucking deal! BIG FUCKING DEAL!! Nothing like that could change the feelings of anyone who loves you and we fucking love you!!!

Uggghhhhh, I've gotta create a Weverse account. I can't just say this stuff here. I know he'll never see it wherever I post it but...

It's sick. This is sick. This is fucking gruesome and morbid. It's inhumane, and I'd feel that way even if I had no idea who he is. If I was still as BTS-ignorant as I was just little over a year ago, and I saw this letter not even knowing anything about the person who wrote it, I'd be like...what the fuck did he do? Set fire to an orphanage?

This has got to stop. I cried over this for the first time this morning. It's sickening. Heartbreaking. Completely unnecessary. It's ritualized public humiliation and that's a fucking human rights violation. I don't even know what the fuck else to say.

If and when this is all over, I hope he fucking emigrates. No one should have to live in an environment that demands such degradation over the slightest misstep. I don't care where he goes, just not there. It isn't healthy. It isn't safe. It isn't fucking normal. It's twisted, archaic shit that certainly shouldn't be happening in 2024 in a country that prides itself on its modernity, sophistication, and alignment with global peers. This isn't a West vs. East thing. It's humane vs. inhumane. No one should have to tolerate inhumanity.

Jesus Christ, I hope he has good people around him right now who are looking out for him.

Not In the Cards teaser!

pairing: bodyguard!Yoongi x CEO!fem reader

genre: mafia, e2l

summary: yoongi realizes something about you, about himself, and runs. It's what he does best afterall.

warnings: implications of sex, angst, trauma, yoongi has a dark past. i hope y'all will stick around to find out, this is a long winded story i'm sorry! also reader uses a pseudonym as it’s relative to the plot.

minors dni

wc: 1k

teaser I part i. I part ii. I

When he wakes up next to you, it’s still dark out and you’re still fast asleep. Your face is just a silhouette to him, but he knows you’re beautiful, even in slumber. His heart jumps when he remembers you’re in his hoodie and he doesn’t think too much about how much he likes that. 

How is it possible to like someone he just met this much? He hands it off to the (great fucking) sex he just had. 

He does his best not to disturb you as he maneuvers out of bed and into the bathroom, needing to wash off remnants of sticky sex and sweat now that he’s cognizant. He waits until he’s started the shower to turn the lights on, ignoring his reflection as he takes off his favorite silver chain and places it on the shelf above the toilet to avoid any drains, dog tags swinging on his chest when he steps into the tub.

You're still sleeping when he returns so he quietly gets dressed, trying not to hate putting back on the clothes he wore yesterday now that's he's freshly showered but it can't be helped. A little of the sunrise has made the room a low mix of blue and grey so he can see you better as he goes to the nightstand to put on his watch. He looks over at you and smiles to himself when he hears you snoring softly. You shift on your stomach, facing away from him and just as he turns to leave the room for a morning cigarette, an etching on the back of your neck catches his attention. He has yet to put in his contacts and it's still not bright enough to see well so he slowly sits on the edge of the bed to have a better look, curiosity piqued. It has the shape of some kind of bird or plane, something with wings so he leans a little closer, pressing a fist on the mattress to hold himself up. He expects the wings to be that of an angel, a nod to your name, but when he finally sees what it is, albeit a bit blurry, his heart stops and drops to his stomach.

It is indeed a small bird but just the skeleton of one. A sparrow. And it's drawn as if it were falling from the sky. To anyone else, it's meaning is ambiguous, but to him, to others like him, it's the symbol of enormous power, made by blood, money and greed. He would know - he has a tattoo that speaks to the gang he got caught up in as a teenager that branded him to force his loyalty. A gang that could be shredded and not missed by the organization that owns the symbol tatted on your neck.

Shit. Being who he is, relying solely on intuition and reading between the lines, he had a gut feeling that you may not be as innocent as you seem. To the average bystander, maybe. But not to him. The swallow’s skeleton on your neck confirms it.

And for the first time in a long time, he's terrified.

Before seeing that, he'd already considered leaving before you wake up, doubting what good would come out of him staying. You don't need someone marred and sinful like him in your life.

But now if you find out about the coiled cobra on the back of his left shoulder, one of the many reasons he didn't take his shirt off or keep the lights on once you both fell into bed, he’ll be screwed for a whole different reason.

So he makes the decision that there's nothing for him to do but leave you in the dust and never look back, tacking this night onto the murky cloud of his many mistakes. Even though it makes his heart ache. All the more reason to coat it in tar, making it impenetrable to him and anyone else. In the weeks to come, he'll force it to forget you.

But it will only make him colder and bitter. Forlorn. He fucking deserves that.

He grabs his phone and his keys he left on the couch and hauls ass to the door and down to the lobby so you don't wake in time to see him disappear without a trace. But in the rush, he forgets the one thing most precious to him that he took off before he showered. It isn't until he's zipping away on his motorcycle towards the ferry, blaming the cold and whipping wind for the tears piercing the corners of his eyes, that he realizes and curses himself. The one thing he was supposed to never lose, to always take care of, he forgot. His mother was right - if his grandfather was still around he’d be so disappointed. For the rest of the way home, his mother’s words ring in his ears - he’s a fuck up who’s lost all chances to redeem himself. No one will want him. So going forth, that's what he carries with him every day when you come up in his thoughts, no matter how hard he tries to keep you out.

It's better this way. He did you a favor.

..............................................................................................................................

When you wake up alone, it’s not the hangover that makes you feel nauseous.

You rush to the convenience store for a morning after pill, because you’ll be damned if you get knocked up, especially not by someone who doesn’t have the fucking decency to leave a note, much less a phone number, after a night like that.

Fuck him. Fuck him big time for being just like everyone else. You know what your father and brothers would say - that's what you get for letting your guard down. Naive and weak-minded people only get themselves hurt. So just like you have done countless times, you pick up the pieces of your heart that were stomped and crushed and left for dead, and bury them in the recesses of your mind, keeping all of your pain to yourself. Pain is weakness, especially the kind you can’t see on your skin, and weakness is forbidden in the blood you share with your family. Maybe now the lesson will stick. But for the years to come, his eyes, his touch, his voice will haunt you in your dreams and your nightmares. You hope to all hell you never see him again.

If you do, he better watch his fucking back.

.

.

.

part i. coming soon!!! masterlist

thank you for reading! this is all very nerve wracking to me bc i'm an anxious girl and a perfectionist when it comes to writing and i kind of pulled this scene outta my ass so i could get a teaser out there so i'm not 100% confident about it.

but let me know what you think here or leave a comment if you want.

xxx - claret

p.s. this is what i imagine reader's tattoo looks like

p.p.s. does anyone know how to make the line breaks, like how they’re uploaded as photos? I’ve tried cropping a horizontal photo to be really thin but it doesn’t let me and then i just have a line in the middle of a white block and it looks wack and I don’t want to break up scenes with a bunch of periods lol.

thanks k bye :)

Not In the Cards Masterlist

pairing: bodyguard!Yoongi x CEO!fem reader

genre: mafia, e2l, sloooow burn

summary: As the youngest daughter of the most powerful family in the country’s crime syndicate, you never thought you would be forced to takeover your father’s money-laundering casino. Due to unforeseen circumstances, you and your brother, Jungkook, are left in charge to carry on with business. But in the absence of your father and oldest brother, Seokjin, the two of you are targets of rival bloodthirsty mobs desperate for power and turf. You must be protected but the man who’s assigned as your bodyguard is someone you never thought you would see again. This wasn’t in the cards.

warnings: violence and murder (not explicit), one incident of partner abuse, guns, drugs, alcohol, smoking, gambling, smut (eventually), ANGST!!! So much angst, trauma, PTSD

Snippet - september 7, 2024

Teaser 1 - september 9, 2024 20:35EST

Prologue - september 17, 2024 00:20EST

Part 1- october 2, 2024 00:00EST

Reminīscēns: strangers - pending

I'm already down bad for Namjoon and 2D men.. and now he's both? My heart can't take it

whatever revenge mufasa yoongi is taking against scar yoongi, I'm loving it