I Appear To Request Headcanons And Shitposts

I appear to request Headcanons and shitposts

i'll do my best! hopefully these are alright, i'm not great at shitpost-y hcs but i came up with these :)

shilo wallace

• shilo is a lesbian (see: all of 'seventeen')

• she's homeschooled by nathan

• her favourite subjects to learn at home are biology, mathematics and music

• she has a blog she updates using nathan's PC whenever she can get access to it

nathan wallace

• nathan gets uncomfortable teaching shilo chemistry because it reminds him of marni's death.

• he doesn't let shilo have social media

• he's a surprisingly terrible cook. he wasn't always, he just fell off after marni's death. he especially struggles when it comes to handling meat - it reminds him too much of his repo man job.

marni wallace

• marni is also english, she moved to the USA with mag after the organ epidemic (based on how she pronounces "morning")

• when they were shilo's age, marni and mag used to day drink in a public park at 3pm

rotti largo

• rotti genuinely was nathan's best man at the wedding and he's convinced it was just to mock him.

• he's spent a solid amount of time visiting england due to marni & mag and he always has a great time. he enjoys wetherspoons

luigi largo

• luigi once blew a significant amount of his father's money on cryptocurrency

• he regularly takes pictures of his car. his instagram is just 99% car pics

pavi largo

• pavi is a skinny puppy fan (see: his tattoo)

• he once threw a tantrum as a child begging his father for a pony. this episode lasted a good 3 years

• pavi has been to every strip club and brothel in sanitarium, his next goal is opening up his own

amber sweet

• semi-canon since it's mentioned in her myspace, but amber has published multiple "self-help" books. they're all as entitled and tone-deaf as you can imagine

• she puts those scary eyelashes on her car's headlights & those fuzzy dice on the mirror

graverobber

• graverobber likes watching twin peaks reruns on the TVs dotted around sanitarium's back alleys

• he has been to prison once (implied by him being referred to as a fugitive). he probably got the shit kicked out of him there at some point

blind mag

• mag lives with the largos (implied canon?) and she always tries to make awkward small talk at the dinner table when the kids are causing chaos. it rarely goes well

• mag (and marni) moved to the USA due to rotti largo/geneco's influence there - she believed it'd be safer than staying in england