Bucky Barns X Reader - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

The Man out of Time

MASTERLIST PINNED

Warnings: Angst; break up; swearing; unplanned pregnancy

WC: 1.4k

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I slammed the door and ran out into the rain. Steve follows me, screaming, “Y/N! Please wait!” I stop dead in my tracks. Turning to face him I say, “Steven Grant Rogers, you need to get away from me. Get away from me right now.” He shakes his head and inches closer, “No. No, we have to talk about this.” I push his chest, “There is nothing to talk about, Steve! You broke up with me! And I don’t want to be your friend. I want you as far away from me as possible.” I jump into my truck and drive off, not completely sure where I was heading.

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I knock on the door and shiver as the rain soaks my clothes. The door cracks open and Bucky’s face drops, “Y/N, what’s wrong?” He pulls me into the house. I stand there, making a lake in his entry way. Silently, he walks off and comes back with clothes. “Go put these on. I’ll make some tea. Just breathe.” I go into the guest room and change. When I look in the mirror, I see the mascara smeared across my red and puffy eyes. I wipe them with the sleeves of the hoodie Buck gave me, making a mental note to wash it before returning it. Bucky walks the mugs of tea over to the couch and I join him. “Doll, what the hell happened?” I took a deep breath and looked down at my hands, “I came home from work ready to tell Steve about something exciting and horrifying. He was just sitting there, like he was frozen. I went over to him and asked him what was wrong. He looked up at me and said that we had to end things. He told me that he never loved me the way he should have. He told me that when he went back for the stones, he saw her. He said in that moment he realized he could never have her, but he also realized that he could never love me the way that he loved her. I didn’t even fight. I didn’t tell him what I had been wanting to say. I just started packing. He followed me, begging me to say something. He asked me to still be his friend. He said he couldn’t live without me. And I ran out. I left everything there. I came here. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.” Bucky sits there in complete shock. I can tell that he doesn’t know what to say. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into him. “I need you to listen to me, okay? You do not deserve this. You could never deserve this, doll.” Bucky holds me there for a few minutes in a comfortable silence. The silence is broken by banging on the door. Bucky kisses the top of my head and walks over.

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I see his face drop when he opens the door, “You can’t be here right now.” “Damn it Buck, is she here? She has to be. Y/N! Please come back. All of your stuff is there. You don’t have to stay here.” The rage bubbles in my chest and I go to the door, “I am staying here, Steve. I am not your friend. I am not anything to you now. The last thing I need is to be in that apartment, being constantly reminded that I will NEVER be enough.” Steve’s face drops and Bucky put his arm around me, pulling me in close. I hide my face in him and try to breathe. Steve sighs, “Doll, can we please just talk about this. I love you. I always will. You just don’t know how it felt. You will never know how it felt. A part of me is stuck in the past. You deserve someone who is completely here.” I look up at him with as much strength as I could muster, “Go home. I will come get my things in the morning.” Bucky rubs my back and clears his throat, “Bye, Steve.” The door shuts on the super solider, and I crumble into Bucky’s arms.

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The sun shining through the window wakes me up. I look around and realize I am on Bucky’s couch. An old movie marathon is still playing on the television and his arms are still wrapped around me. He wakes up and furrows his brow, “Did you sleep?” I stretch and yawn, “Yes, thank you Buck.” He smiles, “Of course. You would start waking up any time I would move so I figured I’d turn on a movie. Obviously it did not keep me awake.” We get up and I start preparing myself to see Steve. Once we are in my truck, Bucky looks over at me, “What news did you have to tell Steve?” My eyes water and I shake my head, “I am sorry. I can’t talk about that right now.” He grabs my hand and squeezes it, “You don’t ever have to apologize to me.”

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I open the door with my key, realizing it will probably be the last time I do so. The door opens to Steve standing in the living room, arms crossed and staring at a photo. “Do you remember this day?” I stand beside him, “Yes. The first vacation we took together.” He turned to me with tears in his eyes, “The day we took that photo, you told me that I was your best friend. You promised that no matter what you would be there for me.” I shake my head, “Steve, you ended this. You did it. Not me. You told me you could never love me how you loved her.” He touches my shoulder, “I was trying to be honest with you. Ever since I came back, I have been carrying that weight on my shoulders.” Tears fall down my cheeks and Bucky clears his throat, “I am going to start loading your stuff, doll. Take your time.” “Thank you. Thank you so much.” Steve’s icy blue eyes meet mine, “Y/n.. are you and Bucky.. you know..” Anger bubbles up inside of me. I try to push it down but it spills over, “How could you ask me that?! Insinuating that about our closest friend?! The person who took care of me after YOU broke me?!” I can see Steve holding back tears and Bucky appears in the hallway holding a few huge boxes, “Hey, maybe get some fresh air-“ I cut him off, “No! I am not going to calm down! I thought this was going to be the person I spent the rest of my life with! Only to find out that he wants to live some depressing life pining after a woman in the past!” Tears are streaming down my face and Steve tried to comfort me, “Y/n, that isn’t it. I swear. I just can’t-“ I put my hand up to him, “You know what Steve, I don’t want to hear any more shitty excuses. You don’t get to pick and choose how and when you get to be in my life. I am not just making this decision for myself anymore!” I cup my hand over my mouth and watch as Steve tries to analyze what I just said. The super soldier lifts my chin to look up at him, “What do you mean, you aren’t just making this decision for yourself anymore?” I take a deep breath and meet his icy blue stare, “Steve, I’m pregnant.”

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The sound of crashing boxes snaps me back into reality. Bucky is in the entryway, jaw dropped and boxes scattered around him. Steve clears his throat, “How far along?” “Measuring at 10 weeks.” He runs his hand through his hair, “You already had an appointment?” “I went during my lunch break yesterday. Was going to give you this when I got home.” I pull the ultrasound picture out of my pocket and hand it to him. His eyes narrow, “Is it-“ I scoff, “It’s yours, Steve.” He looks at me in disbelief, “No that wasn’t.. no.. Is it healthy?” “So far, yes.” He nods his head, “That’s good.. that’s .. okay. You should really stay here. You shouldn’t be alone for this.” I shake my head, “I can’t. Not right now. I need time. You need time.” He grabs my hand, “Please. Stay. I am sorry. I am so sorry.” Bucky walks over and put his arm around my shoulders, “She can’t stay. Not right now. She won’t be alone. I’ve got her.” As I walk out of the door, I hear Steve crying. Every ounce of me wants to run back to him. Every fiber of my being wants to pretend that yesterday never happened. But I can’t. I guess that is what happens when you love a man out of time.

The Man Out of Time part 2

MASTERLIST PINNED

Warnings: Angst, Unplanned pregnancy, some fluff

WC: 914

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I finally decide to get out of bed after a night of staring at the ceiling. Bucky is in the kitchen and looking through a pile of files, “Morning, coffee is ready.” I smile, “Thanks Bucky.” He sighs, “Steve is already blowing up my phone. I told him to give you space, but I don’t think he is going to listen. Where is your head at?” I run my hand through my hair and shrug, “I couldn’t sleep so I have been contemplating on how to move forward. I know I love him and I always will. I know that even though I am angry at him, a part of me understands that I can never really understand what he is feeling. I know he could be a great father. I know I am scared to be a single mother. I know .. I don’t know Buck. I don’t. I don’t have a damn clue.” A tear rolls down my cheek and Bucky walks over, wrapping me in a hug. “Y/n, you don’t have to rush into any decisions. You also don’t have to give him another chance. The only thing you have to do is focus on yourself and that baby. And whatever it is that you want to do, I am here. I will always be here.” I squeeze him tight, “Thank you. For everything.” My phone starts buzzing and I answer, “Hi Steve.” “I am on my way, can we please talk?” I sigh, “Yeah.” I hang up and look to Bucky, “How did any of this even happen?”

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Steve and I sit in the longest, most awkward silence ever. Bucky went into the office to give us privacy. The super soldier finally clears his throat, “Y/n, this is all my fault. I know that. You can never know how sorry I am. I hate how I have hurt you. It’s been you, Y/n. It’s been you for the last 6 years. I was being so selfish. What can I do to make you forgive me?” I place my head in my hands, “I don’t know Steve. And I am not just saying that. I genuinely don’t know. I can’t live my life feeling like I am always second best. How will I ever know that you love me? Me, Steve, not her.” His icy blue eyes meet mine, “Because I will show you. Every single day. I will prove to you that I love you more than anything or anyone.” Tears fill my eyes and threaten to spill over, “Steve, in the back of your mind you will always be thinking about her.” He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, “Y/n, the only person who has been on my mind for the last six years is you. When we had to jump and I saw her, it messed with my head. It shouldn’t have, but it did. I never should’ve said what I did the other night. I didn’t mean it. I couldn’t mean it. I don’t love her, Y/n. I was dreaming of the idea of her. I love you. I will always love you.” At this point we are both crying. Steve pulls me into his chest and I let him. He kisses the top of my head, “Is there any chance that you will let me prove it to you?” I pull back and look at him, “We can try. For the baby.” Steve smiles and hugs me tight.

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The next few weeks leave me constantly holding my breath. I kept some things at Bucky’s, because I told Steve that I wasn’t completely ready to move back in. He said he understands, but I can see that it hurts him. I decide to cook dinner to surprise Steve. He walks in the door and smiles, “Hi doll, that smells amazing.” I turn around and see the flowers and candies in his arms, “Steve I thought we talked about this.” He shrugs and kisses the top of my head. He grabs a vase and adds the flowers to the table that is already covered in them. Steve steps back with his hands on his hips, “You are right. This is getting out of hand.” I walk up behind him and wrap my hairs around his waist, “It is thoughtful of you. Thank you.” Steve turns around and pulls me in, “I know it doesn’t even begin to make up for what I did. But damn it Y/n, I am going to spend the rest of our lives showing you how much I love you.” His hand moved down to my stomach, “Baby moving today?” I shake my head and giggle, “The doctor said it would be for a couple months! You are impatient.” “I know I am. But also, this is a super baby we are talking about. He will start moving faster.” I roll my eyes, “Half human, too. You think it’s a boy?” He nods. I raise my eyebrow, “I honestly don’t have a feeling one way or another. This whole thing has been so unexpected.” “I know, doll. I am proud of you. You are doing such a great job.” I chuckle, “At what?” He smiles, “Growing our baby. I can see how tired you are, let me finish dinner. Go sit. Relax.” I gladly take a seat on the couch and watch Steve cook. This moment should be perfect. A couple of months ago, it would have been.