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Left Me With A Broken Heart | jjk drabble
♡ warnings: depressing tbh
♡ WC: >1k words
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-unedited.
The waiting area weeps of basic white interior design. The lifelessness it weighs the atmosphere holds my thoughts captive. It’s plain.
Void of emotion.
He used to hate waiting areas. Always whined about how boring it gets, to wait for something that gets you so nervous, you’d break into a cold sweat.
He holds my cold clammy hands in his own ones, squeezing them to comfort the both of us. I squeeze back to reciprocate the reassuring gesture, and he kisses me sweetly, smoothing away any concerns I might have had.
Thoughts of him wrap their hands around my throat and squeeze-
“Jeon Y/N?”
The panic intensifies, but it does nothing to dull the ache.
I send a weak smile to the secretary before I take the hallway with flickering lights. Reminds me of life; the walls being life and the flickering lights being my stuttering heartbeats every time I think about him.
His laugh, his eyes, his lips. Everything about him is so damn perfect. Beautiful. Angelic.
He carries me in his arms, jumping as his laugh reverberates around the room. I can’t contain my smile when he sets me down and stares into my eyes with so much happiness, a tear slips down my cheek.
“I love you.” My smile barely lets me speak; I just can’t seem to contain it enough for my cheeks not to hurt.
“never more than my never-ending love for you.”
“liar.” I hit his chest playfully before placing a hand on my belly. “you’re gonna love this baby more than me.”
He picks me up again. “I’m gonna be a dad!” he screams as loud as he can as if he still can’t believe I’m pregnant with his child.
A sad smile breaks through my lips as I reach the end of the hallway.
I open the door, and as soon as I look at the woman in front of me, my heart feels a thousand pounds heavier. She smiles at me, and a meaningful tear slips down my cheek.
He had her eyes.
The same crease that used to show up at the end of his eyes now lines her own tired face.
His smile was loving and sweet- a thing he got from her- except now, her smile mirrors my own sad one.
Defeated, exhausted, and utterly broken.
The doctor stands up from behind her desk, walking to me.
As soon as she’s within arms length, she reaches for my shoulder and pulls me to her embrace.
“My y/n.” she breathes through her tears. She rubs my back as she cries quietly, refusing to let me see her tears. She knows it would break me.
But I break anyway.
He used to call me that.
“my y/n is gonna be one hell of a mother.”
“my y/n will forever be mine to love.”
“the most beautiful woman of my life, the one I can’t wait to grow old with. I love you, my y/n.”
A sob breaks through my façade. My whole resolve breaks, and I clutch her for dear life as I cry into her chest. My heart chips and shatters and falls at my feet. I can’t breathe, but I don’t want to.
My heart is empty without him.
My whole life is void of living.
He was my oxygen.
How will I ever live?
She continues to rub my back as she weeps silent tears.
She’s close to my mother’s age, frail, wise, and growing grey.
Her being his mother was enough a reasoning to call her my own.
He loved her incredibly much. Respected her more than anyone else and always made sure to let her know.
I pull away from her, my eyes red and brimming with salty tears. She places a palm on my cheek and traces my tears away, only which makes her cry harder.
A picture placed on her desk catches my attention over her shoulder, and my whole entire soul breaks for her.
She catches my line of vision and turns around to look at the picture of her son standing in a military uniform.
A lone tear runs down her face as she sidehugs me and we both stare at the framed picture of my late husband and her late son.
“You promised to never break our hearts, son.”
im trying to explore my writing style 😭
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