Jaehyun Scenarios - Tumblr Posts

O escolhido

Pairing: Jaehyun!Candidato - Princesa!Leitora

Avisos: Nenhum (só cuidado, o Jaehyun é um galanteador aqui)

Resumo: Ter vários homens bonitos e inteligentes aos seus pés e te dando toda a atenção que pode pensar, pode ser para algumas, o melhor cenário possível. Mas para mim, está sendo um pesadelo. Todos possuem seus desejos, mas isso não quer dizer que seja o meu coração. Pelo menos, era isso que eu acreditava, até encontrar ele...

Acredito que ter milhares de homens perfeitos disputando para ter sua mão, ou no mínimo, um segundo de sua atenção pode ser tudo que muitas garotas desejam. Todos os rapazes bem arrojados, belos, com mil qualidades e um disponibilidade incrível para escutar. Porém não é o que quero agora.

Todas as refeições são pequenas guerras travadas entre eles, o que na maioria das vezes parece mais me cansar, do que aos envolvidos. Mamãe vive me incentivando a observa-los com mais carinho, porém eu não consigo. A seleção não é algo que me agrada.

Estava saindo do sala das mulheres, e indo em direção ao meu escritório, quando dois pretendentes me encurralam. Ambos começam a falar sobre o dia, e como gostariam de dividir-me enquanto andamos pelo jardim. Engulo meu comentários acido sobre não ser um pedaço de carne a ser compartilhado, e sorrio diplomaticamente me desculpando, e pedindo para que não me sigam. Mesmo com seus protestos, me deixaram seguir meu caminho.

Quando escuto seus sussurros conspiratórios para tentarem me fazer mudar de ideia, entro na biblioteca ao meu lado, e me tranco na mesma. O cômodo era enorme, e suas enormes prateleiras cobertas com exemplares dos meus favoritos. Mesmo sendo rapazes inteligentes, creio ter visto apenas um ou dois entrarem aqui, portanto sei que terei sossego.

Começo a caminhar por entre meus fieis companheiros quando vejo uma silhueta parada. Ele parecia concentrado, tentando decifrar algo. Me aproximo lentamente e ao mesmo tempo que tento ver o que tem em mãos, tento me recordar de seu nome.

-A...alq...o que é isso? -ele bufa frustrado.

-"O Alquimista". -revelo o nome do livro, me fazendo presente. Vejo o rapaz ficar com as orelhas vermelhas, e ficar sem jeito. Sorrio com sua atitude, e o comprimento. -É um excelente livro.

-Ah, majestade, eu...-o mesmo se curva em respeito e faço o mesmo em seguida, me aproximando alguns passos. - me perdoe, eu não...

-Se acalme! - acabo soltando uma leve risada, de seu nervosismo - a biblioteca é para todos, embora não acredite que todos os pretendentes saibam disso... - vejo o rapaz a minha frente concordar com a cabeça. -Então gosta de ler?

-Sim, majestade...lembrei de um livro, e resolvi vir procura-lo.

-Bom, por ser uma coleção particular, pode não ter alguns títulos...- observo as lombadas à minha frente. -Por que não me diz o nome, e o procuramos juntos?

Ao ver o sorriso do rapaz, sinto algo estranho. Uma certa euforia, por talvez ser a primeira conversa sensata que tenho depois que tudo começou. Escuto o que ele procura, e começou a andar, com ele ao meu lado.

-Desculpe perguntar, mas ainda são muitos rostos novos... qual seu nome? -Pergunto.

-É Jaehyun, majestade. Yoo Jaehyun. - o moreno parecia ganhar confiança a cada palavra.

-Por favor, apenas você. Estamos sozinhos. -Sorrio para ele que concorda. - casta dois?

-Sim...como sabe?

-Rosto adorável. -dou de ombros. Pondero algumas vezes sobre o que deveria lhe perguntar agora. Tenho uma lista de perguntas a fazer para os pretendentes, e assim já poder elimina-los o quanto antes. Porém alguma coisa nele me fazia querer saber mais dele, como pessoa.

-Imagino como deve ser exaustivo para você. -ele diz, me surpreendo. O olho, em busca de uma referência a sua fala - a seleção...é um evento para muitos de nós, mas não consigo imaginar para você.

-Ah, sim...digamos que não gosto da ideia de ter um reality show, para me forçar a escolher um marido. - faço uma careta o que o faz rir levemente.

- Sempre achei o programa injusto com vocês, e com os candidatos, -o tal Jaehyun da casta dois, começa a falar, e quando acho que vai continuar, ele desiste.

O instruo a entrar em um corredor com livros em coreano, e depois na sessão romance.

-Deve achar o que procura por aqui...-me viro de costas olhando alguns antigos nomes.

-Já achei o que queria. -ele me garante, e quando me viro, o pego me observando intensamente. -Achei assim que coloquei meus olhos aqui. -sua frase me fez ruborizar, e em seguida ele me estica o livro que tinha em mãos. Concordo com a cabeça, e me viro para pegar um livro qualquer. Tento controlar minha respiração e coração que aceleraram rapidamente. -Todos esses livros são seus?

-Eu divido o espaço com meus pais, mas grande parte da coleção é minha. -dou de ombros orgulhosa de mim mesma - Sobre o que o seu livro fala?

-Amor. Amor e todas as suas formas. -sua voz era calma, e sua feição era de quem acreditava fielmente nesse tal sentimento.

-Então o senhor é um romântico...acredita em destino, ou almas gêmeas?

-Sim, nos dois. -Quando percebo, paramos de andar e estamos apenas nos encarando enquanto conversamos. -acredito que não importa o que aconteça, você e sua alma gêmea estão ligados, e vão se encontrar e ficar juntos. Como deve ser.

-Akai Ito...-sussurro com sua proximação repentina. Desisto de tentar ler quem ele é, e de tentar entender por que não consigo agir com ele, como fui com todos os outros. - o que pretende, Jaehyun?

-Desculpa, acho que não entendi.

-Em cinco minutos de conversa com os pretendentes, já consigo traçar seus desejos...dinheiro, poder, uma vida de contos de fadas...mas não sei o que você quer. -Começo a despejar tudo em sua frente, enquanto ele me encara com um pequeno e desconcertante sorriso ao canto da boca - não me lembro de te ver disputando minha atenção nos jantares, ou em qualquer momento... o que quer aqui Jaehyun?

-Sempre esperei o momento certo. Esse foi o conselho da minha mãe... observar, e não invadir o seu espaço...e apesar de achar que a seleção é injusta, não me importaria de ter a oportunidade de passar um tempo com você, e de conhecer quem realmente é, - o observo dar um passo em minha direção e pegar minha mão. Ele sorri e olha bem fundo em meus olhos - mesmo que parta meu coração em pedacinhos, não me importaria de catar o cacos.

E no segundo seguinte, eu fiz algo que não fiz com ninguém a minha vida inteira. Me inclinei sobre seu corpo, e colo nossos lábios. Eu não sabia muito sore Jaehyun, mas soube que poderia me arriscar com ele, e talvez me entregar, pela primeira vez.

[Masterlist] • [Nct 127 Masterlist]

🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?

O escolhido

Pairing: Jaehyun!Candidato - Princesa!Leitora

Avisos: Nenhum (só cuidado, o Jaehyun é um galanteador aqui)

Resumo: Ter vários homens bonitos e inteligentes aos seus pés e te dando toda a atenção que pode pensar, pode ser para algumas, o melhor cenário possível. Mas para mim, está sendo um pesadelo. Todos possuem seus desejos, mas isso não quer dizer que seja o meu coração. Pelo menos, era isso que eu acreditava, até encontrar ele...

Acredito que ter milhares de homens perfeitos disputando para ter sua mão, ou no mínimo, um segundo de sua atenção pode ser tudo que muitas garotas desejam. Todos os rapazes bem arrojados, belos, com mil qualidades e um disponibilidade incrível para escutar. Porém não é o que quero agora.

Todas as refeições são pequenas guerras travadas entre eles, o que na maioria das vezes parece mais me cansar, do que aos envolvidos. Mamãe vive me incentivando a observa-los com mais carinho, porém eu não consigo. A seleção não é algo que me agrada.

Estava saindo do sala das mulheres, e indo em direção ao meu escritório, quando dois pretendentes me encurralam. Ambos começam a falar sobre o dia, e como gostariam de dividir-me enquanto andamos pelo jardim. Engulo meu comentários acido sobre não ser um pedaço de carne a ser compartilhado, e sorrio diplomaticamente me desculpando, e pedindo para que não me sigam. Mesmo com seus protestos, me deixaram seguir meu caminho.

Quando escuto seus sussurros conspiratórios para tentarem me fazer mudar de ideia, entro na biblioteca ao meu lado, e me tranco na mesma. O cômodo era enorme, e suas enormes prateleiras cobertas com exemplares dos meus favoritos. Mesmo sendo rapazes inteligentes, creio ter visto apenas um ou dois entrarem aqui, portanto sei que terei sossego.

Começo a caminhar por entre meus fieis companheiros quando vejo uma silhueta parada. Ele parecia concentrado, tentando decifrar algo. Me aproximo lentamente e ao mesmo tempo que tento ver o que tem em mãos, tento me recordar de seu nome.

-A...alq...o que é isso? -ele bufa frustrado.

-"O Alquimista". -revelo o nome do livro, me fazendo presente. Vejo o rapaz ficar com as orelhas vermelhas, e ficar sem jeito. Sorrio com sua atitude, e o comprimento. -É um excelente livro.

-Ah, majestade, eu...-o mesmo se curva em respeito e faço o mesmo em seguida, me aproximando alguns passos. - me perdoe, eu não...

-Se acalme! - acabo soltando uma leve risada, de seu nervosismo - a biblioteca é para todos, embora não acredite que todos os pretendentes saibam disso... - vejo o rapaz a minha frente concordar com a cabeça. -Então gosta de ler?

-Sim, majestade...lembrei de um livro, e resolvi vir procura-lo.

-Bom, por ser uma coleção particular, pode não ter alguns títulos...- observo as lombadas à minha frente. -Por que não me diz o nome, e o procuramos juntos?

Ao ver o sorriso do rapaz, sinto algo estranho. Uma certa euforia, por talvez ser a primeira conversa sensata que tenho depois que tudo começou. Escuto o que ele procura, e começou a andar, com ele ao meu lado.

-Desculpe perguntar, mas ainda são muitos rostos novos... qual seu nome? -Pergunto.

-É Jaehyun, majestade. Yoo Jaehyun. - o moreno parecia ganhar confiança a cada palavra.

-Por favor, apenas você. Estamos sozinhos. -Sorrio para ele que concorda. - casta dois?

-Sim...como sabe?

-Rosto adorável. -dou de ombros. Pondero algumas vezes sobre o que deveria lhe perguntar agora. Tenho uma lista de perguntas a fazer para os pretendentes, e assim já poder elimina-los o quanto antes. Porém alguma coisa nele me fazia querer saber mais dele, como pessoa.

-Imagino como deve ser exaustivo para você. -ele diz, me surpreendo. O olho, em busca de uma referência a sua fala - a seleção...é um evento para muitos de nós, mas não consigo imaginar para você.

-Ah, sim...digamos que não gosto da ideia de ter um reality show, para me forçar a escolher um marido. - faço uma careta o que o faz rir levemente.

- Sempre achei o programa injusto com vocês, e com os candidatos, -o tal Jaehyun da casta dois, começa a falar, e quando acho que vai continuar, ele desiste.

O instruo a entrar em um corredor com livros em coreano, e depois na sessão romance.

-Deve achar o que procura por aqui...-me viro de costas olhando alguns antigos nomes.

-Já achei o que queria. -ele me garante, e quando me viro, o pego me observando intensamente. -Achei assim que coloquei meus olhos aqui. -sua frase me fez ruborizar, e em seguida ele me estica o livro que tinha em mãos. Concordo com a cabeça, e me viro para pegar um livro qualquer. Tento controlar minha respiração e coração que aceleraram rapidamente. -Todos esses livros são seus?

-Eu divido o espaço com meus pais, mas grande parte da coleção é minha. -dou de ombros orgulhosa de mim mesma - Sobre o que o seu livro fala?

-Amor. Amor e todas as suas formas. -sua voz era calma, e sua feição era de quem acreditava fielmente nesse tal sentimento.

-Então o senhor é um romântico...acredita em destino, ou almas gêmeas?

-Sim, nos dois. -Quando percebo, paramos de andar e estamos apenas nos encarando enquanto conversamos. -acredito que não importa o que aconteça, você e sua alma gêmea estão ligados, e vão se encontrar e ficar juntos. Como deve ser.

-Akai Ito...-sussurro com sua proximação repentina. Desisto de tentar ler quem ele é, e de tentar entender por que não consigo agir com ele, como fui com todos os outros. - o que pretende, Jaehyun?

-Desculpa, acho que não entendi.

-Em cinco minutos de conversa com os pretendentes, já consigo traçar seus desejos...dinheiro, poder, uma vida de contos de fadas...mas não sei o que você quer. -Começo a despejar tudo em sua frente, enquanto ele me encara com um pequeno e desconcertante sorriso ao canto da boca - não me lembro de te ver disputando minha atenção nos jantares, ou em qualquer momento... o que quer aqui Jaehyun?

-Sempre esperei o momento certo. Esse foi o conselho da minha mãe... observar, e não invadir o seu espaço...e apesar de achar que a seleção é injusta, não me importaria de ter a oportunidade de passar um tempo com você, e de conhecer quem realmente é, - o observo dar um passo em minha direção e pegar minha mão. Ele sorri e olha bem fundo em meus olhos - mesmo que parta meu coração em pedacinhos, não me importaria de catar o cacos.

E no segundo seguinte, eu fiz algo que não fiz com ninguém a minha vida inteira. Me inclinei sobre seu corpo, e colo nossos lábios. Eu não sabia muito sore Jaehyun, mas soube que poderia me arriscar com ele, e talvez me entregar, pela primeira vez.

[Masterlist] • [Nct 127 Masterlist]

🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?

The chosen one

Pairing: Jaehyun!Candidate - Princess!Reader

Warnings: None (just beware, Jaehyun is a philanderer here)

Summary: Having lots of smart, handsome men at your feet and giving you all the attention you can think of might be the best possible scenario for some. But for me, it's been a nightmare. Everyone has their desires, but that doesn't mean it's my heart. At least, that's what I believed, until I found him...

I believe that having thousands of perfect men vying for your hand, or at the very least, a second of your attention, can be all that many girls want. All the guys are daring, beautiful, with a thousand qualities and an incredible willingness to listen. But that's not what I want right now.

All meals are little wars fought between them, which most of the time seems to tire me more than those involved. Mom keeps encouraging me to watch them with more affection, but I can't. Selection is not something I like.

I was leaving the ladies' room, and heading towards my office, when two suitors corner me. They both start talking about the day, and how they would like to share me as we walk through the garden. I swallow my acid comments about not being a piece of meat to share, and smile diplomatically apologetically, and ask them not to follow me. Even with their protests, they let me go my way.

When I hear their conspiratorial whispers trying to change my mind, I walk into the library beside me, and lock myself in it. The room was huge, and its huge shelves covered with copies of my favorites. Clever young men, though, I think I've only seen one or two come in here, so I know I'll be quiet.

I start to walk among my faithful companions when I see a standing silhouette. He looked focused, trying to decipher something. I approach slowly and as I try to see what's in my hands, I try to remember his name.

-A...Alqu...what is this? -he snorts in frustration.

-"The Alchemist". -I reveal the name of the book, making myself present. I see the boy get red ears, and be embarrassed. I smile at your attitude, and the length. -It's an excellent book.

-Ah, Your Majesty, I...-He bows in respect and I do the same then, approaching me a few steps. - forgive me, I don't...

-Calm down! - I end up letting out a slight laugh, from his nervousness - the library is for everyone, although I don't believe that all suitors know about it... - I see the boy in front of me nodding. -So you like to read?

-Yes, Your Majesty... I remembered a book, and I decided to come look for it.

-Well, as it's a private collection, it might not have some titles...- I observe the spines in front of me. -Why don't you tell me the name, and we'll look for it together?

Seeing the boy's smile, I feel something strange. A certain euphoria, for maybe it's the first sensible conversation I've had since it all started. I hear what he's looking for, and he started walking, with him beside me.

-Sorry to ask, but there are still a lot of new faces... what's your name? -I ask.

-It's Jaehyun, Your Majesty. Yoo Jaehyun. - the brunette seemed to gain confidence with every word.

-Please, just you. We are alone. -I smile at him who agrees. - caste two?

-Yes...how do you know?

-Lovely face. - I shrug. I took a time to ponder what I should ask you now. I have a list of questions to ask the suitors so I can eliminate them as soon as possible. But something about him made me want to know more about him as a person.

-I wonder how exhausting it must be for you. -He says, I'm surprised. The eye, looking for a reference to your speech - the selection... is an event for many of us, but I can't imagine it for you.

-Oh yes...let's say I'm not found the idea of ​​having a reality show, to force me to choose a husband. - I make a face which makes him laugh lightly.

- I always thought the program was unfair to you, and to the candidates, -this Jaehyun from caste two, starts talking, and when I think it's going to continue, he gives up. I instruct him to go into a hallway with books in Korean, and then into the romance session.

-You should find what you're looking for here...-I turn my back looking at some old names.

-I've already found what you wanted. -He assures me, and when I turn around, I catch him watching me intensely.

-I knew i have found ever since I've layed my eyes here. - His sentence made me blush, and then he hands me the book he had in his hands. I nod, and turn to pick up a random book. I try to control my breathing and heart which accelerated rapidly. -Are all these books yours?

-I share the space with my parents, but a large part of the collection is mine. - I shrug, proud of myself

- What does your book talk about?

-Love. Love and all its forms. - His voice was calm, and his face was that of someone who faithfully believed in that feeling.

-So you are a romantic...do you believe in fate, or soul mates?

-Yes, on both. -When I realize, we stopped walking and we're just staring at each other while we talk. -I believe that no matter what happens, you and your soul mate are bonded, and will meet and be together. How should be.

-Akai Ito...- I whisper with his sudden approach. I give up trying to read who he is, and trying to understand why I can't act with him like I was with everyone else. - What do you want, Jaehyun?

-Sorry, I don't think I understand.

-In five minutes of conversation with the suitors, I can already trace their desires...money, power, a fairy-tale life...but I don't know what you want. -I start pouring everything in front of him, while he stares at me with a small and disconcerting smile at the corner of his mouth - I don't remember seeing you vying for my attention at dinners, or anytime... what do you want here Jaehyun?

-I always waited for the right moment. That was my mom's advice... watch, not invade your space... and although I think the selection is unfair, I wouldn't mind having the opportunity to spend time with you, and get to know who you really are. - I watch him take a step towards me and take my hand. He smiles and looks deep into my eyes - even if it breaks my heart to little pieces, I wouldn't mind picking up the pieces.

And in the next second, I did something I haven't done with anyone in my entire life. I leaned over her body, and pressed our lips together. I didn't know much about Jaehyun, but I knew I could take a chance with him, and maybe give myself up, for the first time.

[Masterlist] • [NCT 127 masterlist]

🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?

Ai vim reportar esse aqui aquela hora e fiquei lendo igual uma boba (nem parece q foi eu quem escreveu), e toda vez que paro nele, me dá uma vontade de escrever uma fica dessa história, mas tenho medo de estragar a história 🥹

O escolhido

Pairing: Jaehyun!Candidato - Princesa!Leitora

Avisos: Nenhum (só cuidado, o Jaehyun é um galanteador aqui)

Resumo: Ter vários homens bonitos e inteligentes aos seus pés e te dando toda a atenção que pode pensar, pode ser para algumas, o melhor cenário possível. Mas para mim, está sendo um pesadelo. Todos possuem seus desejos, mas isso não quer dizer que seja o meu coração. Pelo menos, era isso que eu acreditava, até encontrar ele...

Acredito que ter milhares de homens perfeitos disputando para ter sua mão, ou no mínimo, um segundo de sua atenção pode ser tudo que muitas garotas desejam. Todos os rapazes bem arrojados, belos, com mil qualidades e um disponibilidade incrível para escutar. Porém não é o que quero agora.

Todas as refeições são pequenas guerras travadas entre eles, o que na maioria das vezes parece mais me cansar, do que aos envolvidos. Mamãe vive me incentivando a observa-los com mais carinho, porém eu não consigo. A seleção não é algo que me agrada.

Estava saindo do sala das mulheres, e indo em direção ao meu escritório, quando dois pretendentes me encurralam. Ambos começam a falar sobre o dia, e como gostariam de dividir-me enquanto andamos pelo jardim. Engulo meu comentários acido sobre não ser um pedaço de carne a ser compartilhado, e sorrio diplomaticamente me desculpando, e pedindo para que não me sigam. Mesmo com seus protestos, me deixaram seguir meu caminho.

Quando escuto seus sussurros conspiratórios para tentarem me fazer mudar de ideia, entro na biblioteca ao meu lado, e me tranco na mesma. O cômodo era enorme, e suas enormes prateleiras cobertas com exemplares dos meus favoritos. Mesmo sendo rapazes inteligentes, creio ter visto apenas um ou dois entrarem aqui, portanto sei que terei sossego.

Começo a caminhar por entre meus fieis companheiros quando vejo uma silhueta parada. Ele parecia concentrado, tentando decifrar algo. Me aproximo lentamente e ao mesmo tempo que tento ver o que tem em mãos, tento me recordar de seu nome.

-A...alq...o que é isso? -ele bufa frustrado.

-"O Alquimista". -revelo o nome do livro, me fazendo presente. Vejo o rapaz ficar com as orelhas vermelhas, e ficar sem jeito. Sorrio com sua atitude, e o comprimento. -É um excelente livro.

-Ah, majestade, eu...-o mesmo se curva em respeito e faço o mesmo em seguida, me aproximando alguns passos. - me perdoe, eu não...

-Se acalme! - acabo soltando uma leve risada, de seu nervosismo - a biblioteca é para todos, embora não acredite que todos os pretendentes saibam disso... - vejo o rapaz a minha frente concordar com a cabeça. -Então gosta de ler?

-Sim, majestade...lembrei de um livro, e resolvi vir procura-lo.

-Bom, por ser uma coleção particular, pode não ter alguns títulos...- observo as lombadas à minha frente. -Por que não me diz o nome, e o procuramos juntos?

Ao ver o sorriso do rapaz, sinto algo estranho. Uma certa euforia, por talvez ser a primeira conversa sensata que tenho depois que tudo começou. Escuto o que ele procura, e começou a andar, com ele ao meu lado.

-Desculpe perguntar, mas ainda são muitos rostos novos... qual seu nome? -Pergunto.

-É Jaehyun, majestade. Yoo Jaehyun. - o moreno parecia ganhar confiança a cada palavra.

-Por favor, apenas você. Estamos sozinhos. -Sorrio para ele que concorda. - casta dois?

-Sim...como sabe?

-Rosto adorável. -dou de ombros. Pondero algumas vezes sobre o que deveria lhe perguntar agora. Tenho uma lista de perguntas a fazer para os pretendentes, e assim já poder elimina-los o quanto antes. Porém alguma coisa nele me fazia querer saber mais dele, como pessoa.

-Imagino como deve ser exaustivo para você. -ele diz, me surpreendo. O olho, em busca de uma referência a sua fala - a seleção...é um evento para muitos de nós, mas não consigo imaginar para você.

-Ah, sim...digamos que não gosto da ideia de ter um reality show, para me forçar a escolher um marido. - faço uma careta o que o faz rir levemente.

- Sempre achei o programa injusto com vocês, e com os candidatos, -o tal Jaehyun da casta dois, começa a falar, e quando acho que vai continuar, ele desiste.

O instruo a entrar em um corredor com livros em coreano, e depois na sessão romance.

-Deve achar o que procura por aqui...-me viro de costas olhando alguns antigos nomes.

-Já achei o que queria. -ele me garante, e quando me viro, o pego me observando intensamente. -Achei assim que coloquei meus olhos aqui. -sua frase me fez ruborizar, e em seguida ele me estica o livro que tinha em mãos. Concordo com a cabeça, e me viro para pegar um livro qualquer. Tento controlar minha respiração e coração que aceleraram rapidamente. -Todos esses livros são seus?

-Eu divido o espaço com meus pais, mas grande parte da coleção é minha. -dou de ombros orgulhosa de mim mesma - Sobre o que o seu livro fala?

-Amor. Amor e todas as suas formas. -sua voz era calma, e sua feição era de quem acreditava fielmente nesse tal sentimento.

-Então o senhor é um romântico...acredita em destino, ou almas gêmeas?

-Sim, nos dois. -Quando percebo, paramos de andar e estamos apenas nos encarando enquanto conversamos. -acredito que não importa o que aconteça, você e sua alma gêmea estão ligados, e vão se encontrar e ficar juntos. Como deve ser.

-Akai Ito...-sussurro com sua proximação repentina. Desisto de tentar ler quem ele é, e de tentar entender por que não consigo agir com ele, como fui com todos os outros. - o que pretende, Jaehyun?

-Desculpa, acho que não entendi.

-Em cinco minutos de conversa com os pretendentes, já consigo traçar seus desejos...dinheiro, poder, uma vida de contos de fadas...mas não sei o que você quer. -Começo a despejar tudo em sua frente, enquanto ele me encara com um pequeno e desconcertante sorriso ao canto da boca - não me lembro de te ver disputando minha atenção nos jantares, ou em qualquer momento... o que quer aqui Jaehyun?

-Sempre esperei o momento certo. Esse foi o conselho da minha mãe... observar, e não invadir o seu espaço...e apesar de achar que a seleção é injusta, não me importaria de ter a oportunidade de passar um tempo com você, e de conhecer quem realmente é, - o observo dar um passo em minha direção e pegar minha mão. Ele sorri e olha bem fundo em meus olhos - mesmo que parta meu coração em pedacinhos, não me importaria de catar o cacos.

E no segundo seguinte, eu fiz algo que não fiz com ninguém a minha vida inteira. Me inclinei sobre seu corpo, e colo nossos lábios. Eu não sabia muito sore Jaehyun, mas soube que poderia me arriscar com ele, e talvez me entregar, pela primeira vez.

[Masterlist] • [Nct 127 Masterlist]

🍵🌿🖇..⃗. buy me a coffee?

Aaaaaaaaaa 😭💕

boyfriend material.

jung jaehyun x gn!reader genre: fluff, fake dating cliche, strangers to lovers, slight angst wc: 6.2k warnings: sensual tension/implications, sfw kiss scene

Although you and Jaehyun had never spoken a word to each other before this class project, he asks you to be in a fake relationship in order to prove to his longtime crush that he is boyfriend material.

“What if we fake dated?” Nearly choking on your spit, you peer up at the dimpled boy in mostly shock, but also curiosity at why the hell he would be desperate enough to ask such a bizarre request from you, his project partner.

The maximum amount of time you have known this man is probably less than 48 hours and despite being in the same class for the past semester, yesterday is the first time you two have actually exchanged words.

“You have to be out of your mind.” The question was a follow up to the story of his unrequited love, which you had been way too interested in from the start because anything is better than working on school work.

Being paired with Jaehyun for one of the biggest group projects of the year had not been your first pick, but you didn’t have much of a choice since your professor used a random generator to assign partners. 

Jaehyun barely knew of your existence two days ago, though, you really can’t blame him for your lack of attendance and participation. All you knew of him was that he was the guy with dimples and his name started with a J. But, that’s college. You don’t get to know much of anyone in your lectures or discussion classes. 

This is one of the only classes small enough for a partner project, being that it is a seminar class counted toward your major in order to graduate. You really could have gone through all of college without a single group project on your loop, but the universe tested you.

“Think about it, we could be killing two birds with one stone.” Jaehyun gleams, trying to close your heavy textbook to garner your attention. “I can prove to Rose that I am boyfriend material and you can prove to your friends that you’re not chronically single.”

“I really shouldn’t have confessed that I was chronically single. It gives you leverage to use it against me.” Sighing deeply, you narrow your eyes at this man that wears an innocent smile on his face. 

The chance to shut your friends’ chatter about your love life is incredibly tempting and Jaehyun is the perfect visual to introduce: charming smile, glossy eyes, deep dimples, tall, nice build. You just know all your friends would be smitten over a man like him.

“Say I agree to this ridiculous idea, how would we break up?” Your interest is captivated now, as you set your pen in the middle crease of the textbook and cross your arms over the table. 

“It could be a mutual split. If you want to spice it up, you can dump me or I can break up with you and I’ll cry about it to Rose. She’ll comfort me, realize I’m so boyfriend material and grow feelings for me.”  Jaehyun claps his hands together as if he made the most brilliant idea ever. 

Scoffing, you roll your eyes at how silly it sounded. Though, a part of you really wanted to show someone off so that your friends would stop trying to set you up with their weird coworkers or their desperate mutuals. 

As if you never thought you’d agreed to something as absurd as fake dating someone, you lean back in your seat and ask the one question that causes the moon crescents to appear on this handsome man’s fluffy cheeks:

“So, what’s the game plan?” 

THE GAME PLAN: BOYFRIEND MATERIAL 

Meet Cute: Jaehyun asked to borrow a charger and never gave it back. Professor does a random name generator for a partner project. You and Jaehyun are paired. The charger made its way back to its original owner in a fateful way. 

Who liked who first: you fell for that sexy baritone voice.

How he asked you out: A dozen roses and a candlelit dinner.

How long have you been dating: three weeks.

Favorite thing about one another: 

Y/N: cute stationary

Jaehyun: dimples

“Cute stationary?” You squint at his answer with disgust at how lame it is. “That is the best answer you could think of? People are really going to think we’re head over heels for each other.” The sarcasm in your tone is distinct, not going unnoticed by Jaehyun.

“Says the one that said dimples. How original.” Jaehyun fakely yawns, rolling his eyes at the hypocrisy. 

“I’m not going for uniqueness. I’m just making these answers easy enough for me to remember if asked.” 

“And we’re making me the forgetful one in the meet cute?” Jaehyun pretends to be offended. His hand rests on his chest, followed by a scoff. 

You’re growing to understand Jaehyun’s banter, finding that his question does hold some amount of irony. “Whatever, I have class in 15 minutes. Let’s quickly establish the rules and go on with our day.” 

RULES: BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

No kissing on the lips.

Don’t tell anyone about the fake relationship.

Sunday Recaps. 

Go to one social event with friends for each person. 

“That should be good for now.” You electronically sign your name on the document, sharing access rights to Jaehyun’s email. “We’ll add to it if needed.”

“Do you think it’ll work?” As you rush to pack your things into your backpack, you’re quizzically staring at how concerned Jaehyun looks asking his question. “Like, is it going to convince Rose how good of a boyfriend I’d be?”

“Well, you have to convince me first if you’d even be a good boyfriend before you start thinking about impressing your crush.” Zipping up, you wait for Jaehyun to make a move. Anything, this was essentially a cue. Nonetheless, he remains kicking his feet underneath the table and drifting off into space.

“Seriously?” You ask, arms crossed and weight barred on your left leg. Jaehyun’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, unable to read the bewilderness of your expression. 

“What?” 

This is going to be harder than you expected. What the hell did you just get yourself into?

“This is your cue to say you’re going to walk me to my class.” Your palm lands on your cheek, rubbing away the forming frustration you have for this man. He is far, far, far from boyfriend material. “Forget it.”

“No, wait-” Jaehyun clears the table of his things, shoving them carelessly into his backpack and hurrying to catch up to you. “I guess I forgot to mention that I don’t know the first thing about impressing someone.” 

You can’t help the laugh that slips from your lips, “oh, you clueless handsome man. It is such a good thing you’re attractive or else, it would be much harder for you.”

“That is a very backhanded compliment.” Jaehyun’s laugh is so robust that it rumbles your chest. It is your first time genuinely hearing it, as he has been stoic the whole day you two worked on your project. 

“We’ll get there,” you pat his shoulder and head toward the lecture doors, “I’ll send you a calendar invite for your first social event next week.” 

Jaehyun stands still, eyes scanning the floor and then back up at your fading figure. “Why are you so willing to help me?”

You stop, hand holding the handle to the door. Looking back at him, the smile on your face shocks him. “Because now I feel responsible for making you a good boyfriend.” With a wave goodbye, you disappear into the building.

Jaehyun puts his hands into his pocket and the white clouds float above him in the blue sky. A small smile creeps on his lips as a simple thought causes it to arise. “Favorite thing about y/n is that smile.” 

“I feel like this is so abrupt. When did you two even start talking?” Your friend starts with the questioning. You had warned Jaehyun previously about the million questions you two were going to get tonight and told him to be prepared. Remember the game plan. 

“A little over a month ago. Jaehyun and I talked in class for the most part.” Stirring the straw in your drink, you’re wondering if your friends can see past your facade. 

“Y/N really likes to play hard to get.” Jaehyun takes control of the narrative, you’re perked up to hear what he has up his sleeve. “I asked for their number three separate times. The first being when I asked to borrow the charger, twice before the midterm, and the third when we were assigned as partners.”

“No wonder why you didn’t get your charger back for the longest time.” Another friend jokes and Jaehyun agrees so naturally. Your eyes scan his whole demeanor and he looks completely relaxed. A part of you had expected that he would flounder and be a nervous wreck in front of your friends. Nonetheless, he is doing great at his first social event. 

It is your good friend’s birthday celebration at a more upscale bar downtown. The formal attire was mandatory and you had spent the last hour picking up a last minute outfit for Jaehyun at his apartment. 

The two of you had already begun planting the social media seeds over the week. Random roses on a Tuesday afternoon. Dinner with a man’s hand holding the glass near the right side of the picture. Your scrunchie around his wrist as he takes his daily gym selfie. 

Your friends bombarded you with eye emojis, acting like detectives to figure out if you were seeing someone. Before you knew it, they were all telling you to invite him to the birthday celebration, which you already knew he’d get the invite for. Your friends were dying to meet him.

The moment you two had stepped in, eyes were instantly on you and watching your every step with Jaehyun in your arms. The attention made you sweat, mostly because you didn’t know how tonight would play out and because you’ve never been seen with a partner. 

However, as the night went on, Jaehyun was a real crowd pleaser. Truthfully, you had no idea how Jaehyun is as a person. You two barely know each other’s last names, but the impression you had of him was of a more shy and reserved man. Maybe it was the lack of talking you two shared in the first hour of your group project, but he was so enjoyable to be around.

“Hey, you doing alright?” Jaehyun wraps his arm around your waist, causing you to slightly cease action. He notices, leaning down to whisper into your ear. “Is it okay for me to touch you?”

His hot breath and deep raspy whisper against the shell of your ear actually made your knees weak. Your mind takes you to unimaginable places, scenes that you shouldn’t be thinking about with Jaehyun. The grip on your glass tightens and you’re nodding subtly. “Social battery is depleting. I think we should leave soon.”

“Yeah, it’s getting pretty chaotic over there. We should flee the scene before we get trapped in it.” He points to the small crowd forming near the barstools.

One of the mutuals of another friend is hunched over, gripping his stomach and practically dry heaving in the middle of the area. His face goes completely pale and you just knew he was going to projectile vomit in nearly ten seconds.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Your hand finds his out of instinct, maneuvering the both of you through incoming flocks of friends trying to get another word in. You’re saying your goodbyes while rushing out as fast as you can.

“It was lovely meeting you, Jaehyun!” Some call out and he is waving, bidding his goodbyes as if he is a celebrity to his fans.

One push and you’re out the door, into the chilly night that brushes a breeze on your arms. Finally, there is no one else around and no more small talk, you can breathe. “Wow, that was incredible.”

“I’m used to getting out of situations as fast as I can.” There goes that smile that Jaehyun likes, heart racing and all just by looking at you. “Especially with my friends. They’ll talk your ear off if you let them.” 

You’re fully aware that your fingers are still intertwined after escaping. Jaehyun’s hand is a bit rough due to the calluses on his palms from heavy weight lifting, but it feels nice. To be held, to be felt, to share warmth – your heart is running a marathon all on its own. 

“Sorry.” Mumbling, your hands separate in seconds. Jaehyun sheepishly puts them in his pockets and averts his gaze awkwardly. For a moment, you forgot where your boundaries lie. 

“Can I drive you home?” Jaehyun kindly asks. He beckons over at his car parked on the curb and hopes for you to follow.

“But I live the opposite way.” The reluctance causes your body to freeze up, standing in place. At the end of it all, Jaehyun and you were barely friends. Possibly, your mind is still very much aware of that.

Jaehyun almost starts with a whole thing about it being dangerous at night, but he realizes you really didn’t need to hear all of that. It would’ve been an earful anyway and he just needed you to get into the car without feeling bad. 

“I know, but I don’t mind.” He says, opening the door to the passenger side for you. Taken aback, you’re wondering if something happened to Jaehyun overnight for this sudden charm he is exuding.

Perhaps the stars in the night sky are playing tricks on you, but you’re beginning to see Jaehyun in a new light.

“So, you’re completely over Rosie?”  There seems to be a pattern amongst yours and Jaehyun’s group of friends. Both sides seem skeptical about the two of you dating, often questioning details about how legit this relationship is.

It’s going to be the 4th week mark – one month of keeping up these charades, but making your very fake relationship just shy of two months. No rules have been broken and you’re building your friendship very well with all the time you two spend together.

You’re at the first social event for Jaehyun. Unlike him, you aren’t one to control a crowd and his friends aren’t like yours where they’d talk endlessly. The anticipation of finally meeting Jaehyun’s crush also dawned on you, her name being mentioned very frequently.

“It would be really weird if I wasn’t.” Laughing dryly, he brings you closer by the waist and into his side. To any outsider perspective, it would look as though Jaehyun is trying to non-verbally reassure you like a good boyfriend would. It doesn’t draw much attention, it’s a light-hearted response to an awkward question. He is learning very well.

To you, it feels very staged and you’re trying your best to hide the warmth you’re feeling from how intimate you two look together. “I don’t mean to offend you. Rosie was Jaehyun’s previous fling and it felt very unfinished.” 

The way that Jaehyun had described their relationship didn’t seem like a fling, though you know how people use that word quite loosely nowadays. “It’s hard when you’re each other’s firsts.”

Suddenly, a chill runs down your spine and your heart drops to your stomach. This feeling washing over you is foreign, but familiar all at once. The grip on your waist retreats and Jaehyun looks like a deer caught in headlights. A crucial detail seems to be left out and the way your body reacts to it is a surprise to you.

His friends seem to understand the situation, without any exchange of words. They clear their throats and Jaehyun looks about ready to kill someone. “It was a while ago though!”

“Yeah, they barely ever see each other anymore.” His other friend tries to put a bandage on the situation, chuckling nervously at the shift in atmosphere.

Jaehyun's social event is turning out quite terribly.

“Jae?” A voice calls for everyone’s attention. It’s a sweet and delicate cadence, you would believe it if it came from a princess or fairy of sorts. When you all turn to face the owner of that gentle voice, you’re met with someone even more beautiful. 

Something deep inside told you that she had to be Rosie and Jaehyun affirmed it with the look in his eyes. “It’s been awhile.” He gravitates toward her, tunnel vision where she stands at the end of it. Jaehyun speaks to her as if there is no one else in the room, including you.

And although you two aren’t actually dating, the needles in your chest are causing you great distress. Watching him walk toward another person with hearts in his eyes doesn’t exactly make you feel joyous. It is even worse knowing that you’re supposed to be his pretend partner and you’re too stunned to make a move.

Having to remind yourself that she is the sole reason this arrangement exists in the first place, you collect your emotions and breathe deeply. You follow behind Jaehyun, strutting up and wrapping your arm around his. However, Rose doesn’t notice and her wide eyes look at you in excitement.

“We haven’t met, I’m Rose.” She is quick to pull you into a hug. It startles you, patting her shoulder lightly at how harmonious she is.  You didn’t have much of an image of how she was like, but it wasn’t this. 

Starting with your introductions, her facial expressions are incredibly expressive: a mixture of  enthusiasm and surprise. “Jaehyun mentioned that he was bringing a special someone.” Dang it, even her attitude is super cheery. “You are absolutely stunning, I hope Jaehyun is treating you well.”

Here is your cue. “Jaehyun has been the best. I feel like I can’t live my life without him now.” Look over. Loving eye contact. Smile. “I feel like I got really lucky with him.”

Jaehyun knows you’re playing your part, but the churning in his stomach has to be butterflies making their rounds. He hasn’t felt much affection in a while and so he can’t tell if these feelings stem from lack of affirmations or because it's coming from you.

“Aw, you’re the cutest.” Rose gives you the lightest touch on your wrist, an electrifying buzz that you want more of. A fleeting feeling. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to chat because I am totally being a third wheel right now.”

Rose makes her exit before you two could protest. Turning toward Jaehyun, you’re mumbling underneath your breath, “I can see why you’re absolutely in love with her.”

“More of a mild infatuation, I would say.” He leans up against the wall, pulling you into him so he can hear you better. Your hips touch as he lazily wraps his arm around your back. 

“Way out of your league, I would say.” You cross your arms, scoffing. “We have our work cut out for us. It’s probably going to be harder than we thought to convince her you’re the perfect boyfriend.”

Somehow Jaehyun looks even hotter rolling his eyes, paired with a small smirk on his lips and a dimple on his right cheek. “I just love chasing people out of my league.”

There is a brief moment of silence between the both of you, staring into each other’s eyes with an unknowing gaze of understanding. In this suffocating intimacy, you could kiss him, open mouth and completely devour him. He could do the same, tasting your hot lips coated in your expensive lip gloss.

So why don’t you? 

Why doesn’t he? 

No kissing on the lips. 

Nonetheless, you break the intense gaze and ignore all the pent up lust you’re feeling in your chest. Bringing your hand to lightly brush away Jaehyun’s loose strands, he catches your wrist mid way.

You watch as he does the unpredictable: soft lips puckered up against the inside of your wrist. Your heart is pounding in your ears, unable to pull away from how much you’re craving him.

All these impure sensual feelings for Jaehyun came to the surface. It’s easy to admit that he is very attractive and if only he knew how to use his charm, he could have anyone in the palm of his hands. The only thing keeping you from falling for him is the sheer fact that he wouldn’t like you back. 

No rules against developing feelings for one another, but that doesn’t mean that you should. It was a mental note you kept for yourself to save you a chance at heartache. 

“There aren’t any rules against kissing you anywhere else.” Jaehyun whispers against your skin and slowly drops your hand back to your side.

You can’t let it show how much that affected you, how it practically almost caused you to backtrack on this fake dating situation and to jump into his arms. “I didn’t think there was another part of me you’d kiss.” 

“Trust me, there is.” His words could have a million different implications, but somehow you knew just what he was referring to. It shakes your core, bubbles your insides. You’re left without any response and no other thoughts in your head besides ripping his clean linen shirt off of his body.

“Hey lovebirds, come and join us for a toast.” Saved by the bell. Jaehyun takes you by your hand, intertwining your fingers. 

You send him a quick glare, “we will be talking about this during Sunday Recap.”

“Oh, I plan to.” Jaehyun chuckles, full of soul and banter. As he leads you to join the rest of the crowd, you’re bewildered at the heightened emotions that stick to your chest.

“I think it’s working. Rose asked me if I was free to hang out with her sometime next week.” Jaehyun ever so nonchalantly plants himself on your plush couch. “She never asks me to hang out first.”

“Mhm, that’s great.” You’re partially listening, as you’re fixing up a story to post on your social media of the flower bouquet that Jaehyun bought on his way to your place. “Have fun.”

“Are you actually listening?” He scoffs. Watching your figure walk toward him, you lean down to show him your phone. The image of flowers displayed on your marble countertop with the note very visibly showing who they’re from. Jaehyun nods in approval, hitting the post button before you could triple check yourself.

“Yeah, I’m listening. You and Rose are hanging out next week, I’m glad this charade is working out for you.” There is a small edge in your tone that doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaehyun. He eyes you from the side, trying to decipher the attitude that laces your words.

Something about your demeanor feels off and he’s gotten to know you enough to know that something is bothering you for your lips to turn into a frown. “What are we recapping this Sunday?” He finds that it’s probably best to move on to another topic. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that you guys were each other’s firsts?” Sitting next to him, you face him with frustrated furrowed brows and an annoyed expression. 

“I didn’t think it was important to mention.” You hated how carefree Jaehyun could be. It makes you feel like you’re overreacting, and in this instance, you could be.

“It’s a bit important. This entire time I thought Rose didn’t like you because you were some lame loser that couldn’t pull someone like her.” Your honesty doesn’t fall short today. It’s as if the more you think about the issue, the more annoyed you get.

Jaehyun, quite offended by that statement, sits up from his normally relaxed position as he is ready to defend himself. “You thought that lowly of me?” 

“You made it seem that way.” Throwing your hands in the air, you try to control how loud your voice is growing.

“Or maybe that is just how you perceived me.” He pauses, “Rose and I dated very briefly, three months at most. She broke up with me because I was a bad boyfriend.”

The news of them dating seems to piece all the clues together. The way that Jaehyun looks at Rose makes more sense, it was a look of longing and regret. Rose approached him with full control of the situation, affirming that her decision to break up with him is justified. 

“I didn’t buy her flowers, even when she asked. There was a night when it rained and I knew she was on campus without an umbrella, I left her out there because I fell asleep. When we hung out with our friends, I would ignore her.” 

You’re taken aback at how negligent Jaehyun had been. “So why did you act that way if you like her so much?”

“I took her for granted and I didn’t know how to be someone’s boyfriend.” It is obvious how long Jaehyun had thought about this. He is too self aware to not have. “She wasn’t going to take me back after I fucked up like that, so I thought it would be good to show her through someone else. How I’ve changed.” 

“How do I know it’s not all for show? As if you’re only doing these things to convince everyone you’re boyfriend material until she takes you back and you revert back to your ways.” Your eyes dart to the vase of flowers on your kitchen counter. “There’s no heart in what you do.”

“Are we talking about me and Rose or me and you now?” Jaehyun hits you where it hurts – right in your chest. You’re too stunned to speak, the realization falling on you like heavy bricks. 

“Why don’t we talk about us?” You clear your throat, flashback of Jaehyun kissing your wrist entering your thoughts. “What was that the other night?” 

Jaehyun doesn’t bother playing dumb. “I was really in the moment.” He rests his elbows on his knees, leaning forward and rubbing his hands together. “Looking into your eyes… they’re so mesmerizing, like you understand me with just one look. It causes my heart to swell for you.” 

“You like Rose.” 

“I do, but I’m not blind.” He shoots you a glare. “You’re really going to think that I don’t find you attractive the entire time we've spent together, being intimate with you even if it's fake.” 

“It’s not that, Jaehyun.” You sigh, “I find you attractive too, but you have to remember the original reason we’re doing this.”

“And I do. But I can’t help the feelings that surface when I’m with you.” Visibly frustrated, you both take a second to pause in the conversation to recollect yourselves. His chest heaves up and down, trying to process these feelings now that he has finally admitted them out loud. 

You are trying to keep your composure cool, but it’s hard to bite your tongue from every tight restriction in your heart. You might actually like Jaehyun and it’s not something you are prepared to face.

“I think we dug our heels a little too deep.” Breaking the silence, you look up at Jaehyun with a kinder and more empathetic expression. The heat in the room is suffocating, all the tension filling the crevices in the walls.

“Perhaps, but I wouldn’t have done this with anyone else.” Jaehyun sits up, facing you with a marvel in his eyes and adoration flooding his pupils. “You’re absolutely incredible, in every way.” 

It’s your turn to hold his wrist when he reaches to brush your cheek, “Jae, I think we might have to call it quits.”

“What? But we didn’t break any of the rules.” The sheer sadness in his eyes is painful to witness. It’s like watching a young boy learn how to sacrifice something for the greater good. Jaehyun didn’t want to lose you.

“I broke the one rule I kept to myself and it was not to develop feelings for you.” His wrist drops from your grasp. “I can’t do it anymore, Jaehyun.” 

“You fell for me?”

“How could I not? You’re such a great boyfriend to me, even if it was fake.” Sighing, you ponder if you should continue. “I’m irritated at how you’d buy me flowers, but it’s a bouquet of my favorite ones. I can’t take it every time you’re so insistent about driving me home to ensure I make it back safe. You get along with my friends like you’ve known them forever. When you look at me in the midst of a crowd and it’s just us two.” 

You’re biting back tears that threaten to form at the rim and gripping tightly at the end of your shirt. This is all a tough pill for the both of you to swallow. It’s almost as if Jaehyun didn’t consider this a possibility when he had asked you to fake date. He thought that since he was so infatuated with Rose, he wouldn’t feel anything for anyone else. On top of that, he knew you saw him as some loser. 

“I think we need to just step back from this for a second and take some time to ourselves. I’ve been seeing you every week–”

“But I want to see you every week.” Jaehyun doesn’t mean to be so difficult and in fact, he is usually one to just agree and follow through another person’s decision. However, something within him wants to fight for you. 

“I can’t keep ignoring how I feel for you and it’s unfair to all three of us moving forward.” The hope and joy in your face is evidently depleting. Jaehyun can’t do anything to fix it.

“What does this mean for our project then?” 

“Well, there isn’t any more group work for us to need to see each other. We can complete our individual parts and upload it to the sheet.” It’s like you’ve already thought this through all on your own and prepared for all the counterarguments he was going to have.

Jaehyun scoffs in disbelief and starts grabbing his jacket. “I understand where you’re coming from, I’ll give you the space you need.” 

You can’t even look at him, knowing that you’re not brave enough to face the hurt and pain on his expression. It’s all already in his voice. “Thank you, Jaehyun. I hope you have fun with Rose.” 

With that, he makes his exit from your apartment. The weight on your shoulders is lifted and despite the hole in your chest, you feel like this was one of the better options. The other being that you just suppressed the feelings until they finally got together, but you realized it may have caused you more harm than ease.

In the midst of Rose talking, Jaehyun finds himself wondering about how you were doing. He hasn’t been able to stop this sinking feeling in his chest since he left your apartment. The lingering thought of you remains well intact, every little thing makes him want to reach out.

“Jae, are you here or did I lose you somewhere else?” Rose chuckles at the stunned boy.

Perking up, he focuses back on the conversation that he had tuned out of a while ago. If you had asked him two weeks ago how excited he was about this hang out with Rose, he would’ve said that he was through the roof. Now, he isn’t sure how he’s feeling.

“I’m sorry, Rosie.” That’s all he could do, Jaehyun knows this too well. “I’ve just got other things on my mind lately.”

“Are things not going well between you and y/n?” She tilts her head and her eyebrows furrowed together, lending a friendly ear. 

Jaehyun shrugs, completely unsure how he could explain the situation with you. “We got into a fight. A lot of feelings became involved that I didn’t know how to handle or react to.” 

Rose sighs, “we used to fight a lot and one thing I hated was that you never came back for me.” Her fingers lightly dance around the rim of her glass. “I know you take time to process your emotions, but the other person will never know how you’re feeling or how you felt if you don’t tell them.” 

He remains quiet, absorbing the advice that Rose is giving. This hangout was supposed to be one where he got her back with him, not one where she consoles him on his current fake relationship with you.

“I think y/n brings out a side of you that I didn’t get when we were together.” Rose admits, giving a soft and knowing smile. “However, I feel like they’re the only person that gets to have that side of you. I don’t want you to lose that shine that they bring out of you. You’re absolutely radiant together.” 

Jaehyun seriously cannot believe what he is hearing. She asks the waiter for the bill and is packing up her things. “Wait, Rose. We’re done here?” 

“Jaehyun, you and I both know that we were done a long time ago.” Rose gives Jaehyun a light squeeze on the wrist. “You should see the way you look at y/n, it’s full of want and excitement.” 

There is a brief moment of realization for Jaehyun. The overwhelming emotions overtake him and before he knows it, he’s running out the door of the restaurant and on his way to the one place he’s been holding back from heading to: the flower shop below your apartment. 

You’re typing the last bit of your part of the project, nearly trying every way to not engage with the thought of Jaehyun. The take out boxes of dinner scatter your counter as you speedily work your way through long paragraphs. 

The one thing you knew was that Jaehyun had been out with Rose and the pain from that discovery stuck to your heart like glue. You were better off with numerous distractions than thinking about how heavenly of a time he must be having with the literal love of his life.

The sound of your doorbell halts your ruthless typing. With curiosity, you approach the door. You weren’t expecting anyone tonight, so it was strange that there would be someone looking for you. Through the peephole, Jaehyun stands there in all of his glory.

You’re practically tearing down your door at the sight of him, bewildered and slightly annoyed at the sight of him. “What are you doing here?” 

“Something I should’ve done that night at the party.” Before you could fully process his presence, Jaehyun dives into you with lips firmly pressed against yours.

His hot hands cup both of your cheeks, dropping the bouquet of your favorite flowers he had picked up on his way here. But none of that truly mattered more than finally kissing you. 

Your heart swells at the passion that Jaehyun kisses with, it’s loving and strong. Something about it suits him perfectly, like a puzzle piece that completes the picture. Kissing you confirmed everything that Jaehyun had been feeling up to this point.

Fireworks exploding in his chest, he feels an abundance of endorphins lighting his system. Jaehyun has been into you all along. He couldn’t pinpoint why it had been so easy with you, like there were no expectations held against him to be someone extraordinary.

He found himself buying you flowers, but not just anything simple or generic. It had to be your favorite, just so he could see the way your eyes light up at the sight of them. He had to be the one to take you home, making sure he got to spend every second he could with you and that he was the one that got you there safely. 

He wanted to impress your friends, knowing how much they meant to you. And when he looks in the midst of a crowd, all he sees is you.  

Your grip on his shirt almost makes him not want to let go, like you’re so afraid of him going away again. Nonetheless, he takes your hands into his and pulls away. The look of pure shock on your face makes him chuckle, a full robust laugh from the chest. He could kiss you again right then and there.

“You’re so cute when you do that.” Jaehyun smiles gently, holding you in his arms so lovingly like he has done so before. This feels incredibly familiar to him, but it no longer feels like a show. This feeling is very real and the swelling in his chest is very much aching at the sight of you. He wants to give you the world.

“We broke our first rule.” Your mind draws a blank after the kiss and Jaehyun smiling before you as if you two hadn’t ended things a week ago. He picks up the bouquet of your favorite flowers, handing them toward you with inviting eyes.

“No more rules, no more fake dating. I want the real thing.” Jaehyun swallows his spit, noticing how dry his throat had gotten at his confession. You’re staring at him as if he was seriously out of his mind. “With you.” 

And you didn’t think that at the end of all of this, Jaehyun would be at your door with a bouquet of flowers asking you to be his. You proved to Jaehyun that he could love another, while being a better person for them. You truly brought out his boyfriend material, proving to the whole world that Jung Jaehyun is only boyfriend material for you.

your fate, my karma

jung jaehyun x fem!reader

wc: 11.7k

synopsis: jaehyun realizes he’s in love with you. it’s fucked, especially because he rejected you once before. he doesn’t want to ruin what he has with you. but he can’t help it, it’s like he was made to see and touch you. he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold in his secret.

warnings: angst, little fluff, friends with benefits, pining, one sided love, confession, argument, smut (MDNI), desperate jaehyun, unprotected sex (pulling out), possessiveness and jealousy, dialogue heavy at some parts

heavily inspired by somethin’ stupid - frank sinatra

part three to the how it all goes series!

you're laid back onto his bed, heavy breaths fanned across your face. on top of you is jaehyun, cheeks dusted with pink as his fingers are still move inside of you. “stop already,” you huff out a laugh, “i might die if you make me cum one more time.”

he chuckles at your words and slowly pulls his fingers out of you, sucking obscenely on them just to annoy you. it works, and you cover your eyes to get the image out of your head. you don’t offer to help him out, and he doesn’t ask for any favors.

he’s not really sure how his friendship with you got to this point. if he could put it simply, you told him that you had feelings for him, asking if he felt the same way. he said that he wasn’t ready for a relationship, that he wasn’t ready to be so vulnerable in front of another person. he still wanted to be friends with you. 

he remembers seeing sadness flash through your eyes, but you just smiled at him and accepted the answer that you got. in a way, jaehyun wished he could like you back, he hated the way he hurt you, but he just wasn’t ready. you were wary around him, trying to hide the hurt that he caused you. he couldn’t bear to see it, and hated how much you were hiding from him.

which is how he finds you next to him, curled up in his bed after he’s made you cum. he knows it probably wasn’t the best idea to propose, but he didn’t know how else he could keep you close. when he explains it to himself in his head, it sounds shitty, makes him feel a little fucked up. he tries to justify it, but really, all of this is a temporary fix to keep you close to him.

despite all the grey areas in his friendship with you, he’s certain about one thing: he really does like having you around. he’s chalked it up to his feelings just being from how long he’s known you, but he knows that there’s something else he doesn’t want to admit. because one, it’s fucked. two, he’s rejected you. three, he can’t like you.

he can’t like like you. he doesn’t even want to imagine thinking about the other word, but it plays at the back of his head sometimes. he hears it when you’re both out at a bar together, watching you drunkenly cling to his side. he hears it when you’re at his apartment after work. he hears it when your eyes look up at his when you drop to your knees.

he can hear it even now as you lay next to him, curled up into his side as your breaths even out. it doesn’t feel weird that he can feel your naked body against his, his best friend comfortably laid up next to him. is it so wrong of him to want this? you became more comfortable around him again after he had sex with you. he knows it’s just a temporary solution.

he can feel your breaths across his chest, your face nuzzling closer to him. he could move you away, could create a clearer boundary between the two of you. he feels a little selfish when he lets you stay there, deciding to wrap an arm around your shoulders as he pushes you closer. it’s not fair to either of you, he’s not your boyfriend, he shouldn’t be this close to you. 

it’s quiet in his room, save for the sound of cars driving down the road and the occasional huff you let out in your sleep. he isn’t tired at all, too lost in his thoughts as he stares up at the ceiling, the warmth of your body taking up all his thoughts. if he could, he would go back in time and stop you from confessing. he would’ve done it himself in the future, he just needed a little more time.

he can’t blame you though. it’s his fault for rejecting you, it’s his fault for thinking that he could make something happen out of this. there’s a small part of his heart that believes that you could like him again. you wouldn’t come back to him for sex every night, right? but the more realistic part of him knows that it could mean anything.

which is why he can’t stop you coming to him when you’re needy. it’s not even just those times, but he doesn’t think he could ever willingly cut you off. he likes spending time with you, and above everything else, you’re his friend.

he just can’t help but wish it could be a little more than that.

you always ask jaehyun to come over if he has the time.

as you both have grown older, it feels like you both have lost more and more time. when you were both college students, it was easy to skip a few classes and go to parties each night. but now as adults, it’s hard to find time for each other. which is why you ask him to go do mundane tasks with you, like buying groceries or trying on clothes.

today it’s going over to eat with him.

before he rejected you, it felt special to be invited to do these kinds of things with him. out of all the people he could’ve asked, he chose you. it didn’t take long for you to realize that, no, jaehyun asking you to spend time with him meant nothing but him being friendly. it’s weird looking back at how much you wanted jaehyun to like you more than a friend. 

as you make your way to his apartment, you realize how much time you spent just wishing for something to happen between you two. you wonder if it was something that was ever supposed to happen between you, or maybe if the timing just wasn’t right. you used to find yourself thinking about the what ifs after he had freshly rejected you. but now, you try to focus on what you have.

he’s just your friend, and you’re close to accepting that it’ll probably never be more than that. 

when you make it to his apartment, you don’t see him right away. you call out his name, hearing his voice from his kitchen. when you head over, you’re expecting a nice meal laid out for the two of you to eat. instead, you’re greeted by jaehyun standing by the stove, a stupid smile on his face as he greets you.

“so, you invite me over to come and eat.”

he nods, smile growing wider, “yes.”

“but i’m not seeing any food.”

“that’s because you’re gonna help me.”

you stare at him. he starts moving towards you, one of his arms wrapping around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. he starts dragging you towards where he was standing. you start whining, “you don’t need my help. you’re a whole grown man who can cook whatever he wants.”

he laughs, “but i need you to be my other chef… what are they called?”

you roll your eyes, “a sous chef?”

“exactly,” he points at you, as if you just solidified his argument, “what if i forget something and i need your help?”

you pat his shoulder, “then you call me while i sit over on the couch.”

he’s about to give up, but he swears there’s a certain look in your eyes that ask him to keep going. that’s how it always feels with you, a certain push-and-pull that you both can’t let go of. your fingers twitch against his shoulder, almost giving you away. he moves to hold your hand, “how about you at least watch me on the side. i just wanna talk to you.”

you almost want to point out his pouty tone, want to laugh at how there’s a frown on his face. but you can’t. he looks a little too sincere, and you don’t want to think too hard about the feelings he doesn’t have for you. you sigh, eventually giving into his words. it’s always like this, jaehyun acting like he can’t go on without you. that’s what got you here in the first place.

he smiles when you approach him, so close that his arm is touching yours. it doesn’t matter how long or how many times he’s had sex with you, to have you close to him like this makes his heart soar. 

it’s like this for the whole time you both cook. your hands lightly grazing his, the sweet smile you show him when he does good, the laugh you let out when he messes up. you take over some parts for him without him asking you to. he can’t help let his mind wander, thinking this is how it would be all the time if you two were dating.

he wouldn’t have to beg you to do something with him, you would do it on your own accord. he wouldn’t have to hold back how much he wants to kiss you, he could press as many kisses on your cheeks or lips. he could stand behind you, wrapping his arms around you as you forcibly kick him off of cooking duty.

instead, he’s standing in front of the food he’s making, probably overcooking it as you point and laugh at him. you even take out your phone to take a picture of him, laughing as you fiddle with your phone. he swats at you, grumbling, “if you posted that on instagram, i am definitely blocking you.”

“you know me so well. i tagged you and everything.”

he chooses not to respond, taking out plates from his cabinet for the both of you. he can see you standing next to him, waiting to plate your food. he quickly decides to plate it for you, trying to hide his pink cheeks as he pushes the plate towards you. when he’s plating his own, you speak up, “wow, what a gentleman!” he can hear the teasing tone you use, “you’re really setting the bar for all men, aren’t you, jaehyun?”

he decides to tease you back, “just trying to show you how much nicer i am than you are. you should post this on instagram, too.”

“nope, letting all my followers know how mean and horrible of a cook you are. i’m ruining your chances of getting with someone.”

he shakes his head in amusement, moving to one of the seats on his small dining table. you follow, sitting right across from him. he messes with his phone a bit before you can hear that it’s connected to his speakers. an unfamiliar tune starts playing as you watch jaehyun’s head bob along to the song. 

this is how it always is, eating together, listening to his annoyingly good music taste, and enjoying each other’s presence. the food he cooked is surprisingly good, but you try to denounce it because you did help him along the way. it’s quiet between the two of you, nothing really too important to talk about.

jaehyun notices your fingers tapping along the table to the beat of the song. he smiles, “do you like it? the song?”

you pretend to think about it, “hm... well, it’s good.”

“you’re not gonna secretly shazam it under the table like last time?”

“that was literally a one time thing,” you huff, “i’ll just go and find someone with the exact same music taste as you.”

he smiles to himself, “you know there’s no one else like me.”

you think about his words for a bit. he probably didn’t mean for them to have a double meaning, but you can’t help but find one. you wonder if you’ll ever be able to find someone who could’ve made you as happy as jaehyun does. you wonder if you do find someone, you’ll be able to forget jaehyun.

you feel like you’ve become so intertwined in his life that everything might lead back to him.

you eventually nod along to his words, “yeah, there’s no one else like you.”

“you’re kinda an ass for not picking her up yourself.”

jaehyun huffs at johnny’s words. it’s not that he didn’t want to, but you had assured him that you would make it on time. when he brought up your safety, you said that it was taken care of already. jaehyun couldn’t help but wonder who or what could possibly be more safe than him, but he didn’t want to argue. 

but now that you’re a little late, he can’t stop himself from worrying. johnny makes it worse, tearing into him, teasing him with every word. jaehyun hasn’t told him about his surfacing feelings for you, but johnny is notoriously nosy, probably knowing the exact day jaehyun thought that he started liking you. 

johnny takes one more jab at him, “she would’ve liked you more if you’d been the one who brought her.”

jaehyun’s shoulder bumps into johnny’s, “she already does like me a lot, so there’s no need for all of that.”

johnny shrugs, letting out an if you say so as he sips on his drink. as much as jaehyun wants to deny it, he really wishes he could’ve at least given you a ride. he would’ve immediately ditched johnny if you asked, would’ve been right outside your doorstep as soon as you said you were ready. he wants to tell himself that that’s just what friends do, but there’s something he doesn’t want to admit.

his hands move to pull out his phone, scrolling through your messages from the past hours. he knows he’s made a mistake as soon as he feels johnny’s eyes looking at his screen from over his shoulder. jaehyun makes a jokingly shocked face at johnny to try to distract him, but johnny’s face mirrors his own. 

johnny’s about to say something with a teasing smile on his face and jaehyun’s ready to stop him. instead, a ding comes from his phone, calling their attention. it’s a text from you, letting jaehyun know that you’re outside. he sends a text to you, his eyes moving to the entrance as he waits for you to walk in.

and there you are.

your eyes scan the room, looking for both him and johnny. jaehyun can feel his cheeks heat up at the sight of you, your face illuminated by the warm lights of the bar. he thinks you look pretty all the time, but now that he’s seeing you like this, he wants to keep it in his memory forever.

you quickly spot them, your face brightening up with a smile as you make your way towards them. you greet the two of them, johnny easily bringing you into a hug. when you turn to jaehyun, you expect the same, but his eyes stay on you for a moment too long. he notices your teasing smile, quickly clearing his throat before wrapping his arms around you.

johnny starts, “always so fashionably late.”

you laugh, “if i don’t come, who else is gonna be the funniest and sexiest person in our friend group?”

johnny moves to tuck an invisible strand of hair behind his ear, “i was holding that position just fine before you came.”

you slap his shoulder, a fit of laughter taking over you. jaehyun watches the two of you, quietly laughing at the side. he likes the dynamic the three of you have, always mentally thanking johnny for introducing you to him. he’d endure all of johnny’s teasing for years if it meant to have you laughing at his side.

it stays like this for a while. the three of you drinking together, laughing when johnny tries dragging you closer to the middle of the room to dance. jaehyun can feel his cheeks get hotter, pink from the alcohol and the not-so-visible adoration he holds for you. he tries to quiet his feelings, but when you lean into his side, your warm body pressing against his, he figures he can give up the act a little.

it’s at times like these where jaehyun realizes that he can see the you from before the rejection. it’s a bit selfish for him crave this side of you, the one where you don’t care how much you touch him or how you continue talking into his ear all night. he thinks that if you were both dating, he could lean over and press a kiss to your cheek, watching as you nuzzle into his side.

for now, all he can do is wrap his arm around yours as you both sway side to side. johnny went off to get another drink, promising to be back quickly. jaehyun has this little time to have you all to himself, listening to the loud chattering around him and the bass of the music loud in his ears. your eyes are closed, humming along to the song.

jaehyun could easily whisper into your ear about his feelings. you probably wouldn’t remember either way, but he knows it’s not right. it’s not like he’d want to do it this way, wanting to tell you honestly. but there’s a growing part inside his brain that’s begging him to do something about it. he has you so close now, so why can’t just say that he likes you?

the thoughts dissipate when johnny comes back, smile on his face with three more drinks in hand. johnny quickly notices how your arm is intertwined with jaehyun’s, and jaehyun can physically see the moment johnny comes up with a plan. jaehyun doesn’t bother moving from his spot, though, willing to sacrifice his humility just to have you by his side.

as if jaehyun wasn’t having thoughts of kissing or dating you, the conversation turns back to normal. the three of you chatting, exchanging work gossip and taking drinks from your cups. it’s like every night this happens, it’s a regular routine of talking and him having to fight back his more than friendly thoughts of his friend. 

except this time, while johnny’s explaining how he thinks his boss might be having an affair, you cut him off. johnny jokingly scoffs, turning to where you’re looking at. you both squeal, johnny’s hands finding your shoulders, shaking them back and forth. you gasp, “that’s him, right?”

johnny matches your tone, “totally him! i could recognize him from anywhere!”

raising an eyebrow in your direction, jaehyun asks, “and who exactly are we talking about?”

you turn back at him, “that’s jungwoo, someone we knew from college!”

the name sounds familiar to jaehyun. there’s probably been a few times you talked about him during one semester. he’s not sure which one it could be, but there’s a memory of a faint smile on your face while talking about him. it sets a weird feeling in jaehyun’s stomach, and he realizes you look a little too excited at the sight of jungwoo.

jaehyun’s arm is still looped around yours, a small frown on his face, “does everyone and their moms know jungwoo now?”

“he was funny in class and he bought me coffee once,” johnny hums.

you join in, “he is definitely funny and he did good when we worked on a project together.”

jaehyun pointedly glares at johnny when he speaks, but when you speak, he just holds you closer to him. he can see how johnny watches him, being reminded of how he looked like he was planning something earlier. jaehyun sees it now, johnny’s face darkening before he speaks, turning to speak to you, “i think you should go talk to him.”

jaehyun sends a pointed glare at him before looking at you, his eyes widening when he sees the shy smile on your face. you ask, “what if he doesn’t even recognize me?”

“why wouldn’t he? he always looked at you a certain way when you guys talked, he definitely remembers you.”

jaehyun wonders why no one told him more about this “jungwoo” and his apparent more-than-friendly feelings for you? if johnny knows, then does that mean the three of you hung out before without him? how much has jaehyun missed between you and jungwoo? jaehyun silently takes another sip of his drink, his eyes peering over his cup as he watches you get lost in your thoughts.

he thinks you might drop the conversation, but you breath out, “i’ll do it. i’ll go talk to him.”

jaehyun tries his best not to acknowledge the growing jealousy he can feel bubbling up in his throat. he has to bite back a remark that would probably make things worse for himself. he decides to let go of your arm, watching as you easily separate from him. johnny starts hyping you up, giving you encouraging words as jaehyun massages your shoulders.

although jaehyun wishes he could say don’t go over there or i’ll die, he decides to send you a thumbs up before you walk away. his throat burns, and as much as he wants to think it’s from the alcohol, it’s from seeing you walk away from him. you’re walking to someone that isn’t him, sharing your warmth that’s supposed to be jaehyun’s.

he realizes then and there that he shouldn’t be thinking that.

you’re pressed against jaehyun’s bed, his face burying into your neck as he leaves kisses across your skin. you had to tell him to not leave any marks when you feel his teeth nip at your skin, and you could’ve sworn you heard a huff come out of him when you did. he’s practically pinning you down, body barely hovering over yours.

there are days where he gets like this, too desperate to where he doesn’t realize he grips you a little tighter, his voice growing deeper, relieving all of his stress by making you both feel good. you can tell when he gets like this, a quick text of an you up? letting you know what he wants. you’ve grown to learn all his habits.

it does feel a little different today, though. he was quick to greet you, quick to bring you to bed to kiss you. there were no words of how work was hard for him or if he was stressed about something that happened. not that there’s anything wrong with him not saying, but there’s a certain desperation in his movements as his lips trail down your body.

you decide not to ask about it, not wanting to pressure him into talking about something he doesn’t want to talk about. you’re quick to forget about it when he presses a kiss onto your clothed clit. he calls your name, bringing your attention to the heavy gaze he gives you. he murmurs out, “gonna let me see this pretty pussy?”

you nod quickly, lifting your hips up so he can take off your panties. he moves to lay between your thighs, humming when he sees how you’re dripping for him. it’s embarrassing, trying to close your legs. you’re met with his hands keeping them apart, chuckling at the whine you let out.

“didn’t know you could be this wet for me. if i didn’t know any better, i’d think that you need me.”

you let out a small whimper when he traces a finger down your slit, “jaehyun, please, need you to- need you to do something!”

“tell me what you need, pretty. if you don’t tell me, how am i supposed to help?”

“need you, jaehyun! want your fingers, want you to touch me!”

“of course, that’s all i needed to hear.”

you can feel one of his fingers slide into you, your head falling back onto his pillow at the feeling. you clench around his digit, already begging for more, needing him to fill you up. he doesn’t tease you for being so desperate, quickly giving into your pleas as another finger slips inside you. you let out a cry when you feel his thumb circle around your clit.

“such a messy baby, dripping all over my fingers. needed me so bad, right?”

moans of his name tumble out of your lips when he curls his fingers inside you, hitting that spot that sends shocks down your spine. your hands are gripping onto the sheets, realizing just how fast you're about to cum. you’re sure he can feel you clench around his digits, especially when you manage to open your eyes and see him looking straight at you.

“gonna cum all over my fingers?”

“fuck, yes! please, wanna cum, need you to let me cum!”

his movements speed up at your words, “go ahead and show me how much you need it.”

you’re quick to fall apart, your orgasm crashing into you. your thighs shut around his hand that’s helping you ride out your orgasm. all you can hear are the sounds you make and the encouragement that jaehyun mumbles out to you. you’re too fucked out to realize that his clean hand intertwines with yours, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand.

before you can comment on it, he’s quick to pull away from you, hands moving to undo his pants. you move to try to do it for him, but he swats your hands away with a laugh. after letting you gawk at him for a bit, he takes his boxers off, a whine leaving you at the sight of his leaking cock. he tilts his head at you, “are you gonna let me fill your pretty pussy up?”

“please,” you moan. your legs move to wrap around his waist, bringing his hips flush to yours. his cock ruts against your cunt, still sensitive from your last orgasm. he shushes you when you let out a small gasp, one of his hands soothing the skin of your thigh. you let out a small cry when his tips rubs against your clit, the last of your patience running out.

you can tell it’s getting to him, too. his cheeks and ears are flushed, his eyebrows furrowed as he switches between watching your face and where he’s pressed against you. he bites back a groan when his tip catches at your entrance, trying hard not to push into you right then and there. he puts all his focus on you, “tell me that you want me to fill you up. tell me that you need me to fuck you.”

you whine, your head digging into the pillow. despite his flushed face, there’s a cocky look on his face as he stares down at you. you’re too desperate to try to fight back, losing the battle as you let out a whimper of his name. there’s almost a surprised look in his eyes as he sees you give up this easily, leaning down to give you a quick kiss to your collarbone.

“i know, baby, need you just as bad. gonna fuck you like you need it, okay?”

you whisper out a thank you as he moves to line himself up at your entrance. he slowly slides in, letting out a deep groan as he watches himself sink into you. he fights off his eyes from closing at the feeling of your tight cunt clenching around his length. you’re no better, writhing around in the sheets, whimpers of his name escaping you.

once he bottoms out, he lets out a grunt, “missed this pussy so much. so fucking warm, so tight, all for me.” you’re quick to agree, hands trying to reach at his shoulders to bring him closer to you. he gives in easily, huffing at how he can feel himself deeper inside you at the new position. he kisses the valley of your breasts, sucking lightly.

he starts off slow, teasing you as he thrusts into you, slow and deep. if you can listen past your own moans and whimpers, you can hear the quiet curses and sounds he lets out, trying to hide how much you’re affecting him. when your nails claw at his back, he breaks, “didn’t even mean to call you this late, i just needed you so bad.”

his words get to you, the fact that he wanted to call you because he was needy makes you clench around him. he can’t help but pick up the pace of his thrusts at the feeling, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. you don’t know what has him so worked up, but if he’s going to make you feel this good, you might have to figure it out.

you need just a little more, your hand trailing down your body to get to your clit. you moan in relief when your fingers circle your clit, clenching tightly around jaehyun’s length. it has his hips stuttering slightly, eyes making their way to your hand. he’s quick to push your hand away to replace it with his own, thumb making tight circles around the nub. 

he move up to whisper into your ear, “only i can make you feel this good, right? i know you better than anyone else, even yourself.”

you shake your head at his words, but your hips roll up into his, trying to fit more of him inside you. he chuckles lowly at the sight, a small smile on his face as he watches you. he’s slamming into you now, any patience he had now gone as he nears the edge. he starts, “no? trust me, pretty. i know just how you like to be touched, how you liked to be fucked. i know you so well that i just know that you’re close to cumming.”

tears prick your eyes, because yes, you are close to cumming. you can’t help it, not when he’s fucking you like this. he’s not usually this talkative, choosing rather to focus on getting away from any stresses. but now, he’s letting you in on his thoughts, letting you know what could possibly be nagging at him. you’ll save it for another time.

you’re surrounded by all of him, chest touching his as his warm breath hits your neck. you used to wish for him to kiss you during moments like these, moments where you’re both so close, adrenaline too high. now, all you can do is whine out his name, begging for him to let you cum.

it’s easy for you to let go of any past emotions you had for him, but for jaehyun, he wishes he could kiss you. he wishes that you could want him again, wishes that he didn’t have to fuck you like this. this is what he wanted, though. he just didn’t think it would be this hard. he tries to ignore it by groaning into your ear, “gonna cum for me? gonna cum all over my cock?”

“y-yes, please! you make me feel so good!”

“yeah? show me then, pretty girl. show me how i’m the only one who can make you feel this good.”

at the sound of his voice, you cum. your chest arches up into his, nails digging into his back as you let go. he’s moaning at the feeling, his hips stuttering as he tries to fuck into your tight pussy. he has to bite down onto your shoulder at the feeling, holding back just how bad he wants to cum inside you.

when you start whining, he’s quick to pull out of your heat, quickly jerking himself off to the sight of how fucked out you look. with a moan of your name, his cum shoots out over your stomach, his cheeks a pretty pink as he does. 

it’s quiet in his room, save for the deep breaths you both let out. he’s just staring down at you, saving the image of you covered in his cum in his mind. you don’t mind, too tired to notice the slight adoration in his eyes as he stares. it is embarrassing though, covering your face with your arm as you tell him to move.

he blinks away his thoughts, chuckling at your embarrassment. he pats your thigh, moving away as he goes to get a towel to clean you up. he’s being careful with you, his movements slow as the towel moves around your body. there’s a soft look in his eyes, a lazy smile on his face as he indirectly touches you. he’s quick to throw the towel into his laundry basket, even quicker to join you in bed. 

in a motion that almost seems too soft for the fact that he just fucked you into his sheets, he pulls your back into his chest. one of his hands makes it to your side, letting it sit there. his breaths are evening out, fanning across your shoulder that he nuzzles into. his touches are hesitant against your skin, almost as if he was debating on whether or not he could touch you like this.

you almost want to push his hand away or try to make some space between the two of you. friends should not be holding each other like this, friends should not be letting each other bask in the warmth of their bodies. friends shouldn’t even be having sex, not like this.

but you figure just this once, you’ll let yourself have this moment. it’s a bit selfish, getting to have jaehyun like this. you wished he’d hold you like this every single time. you think if he did, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from falling back in love with him. there’s no way for you to win when it comes to jaehyun.

as he presses a kiss and murmurs a goodnight into your shoulder, you make a promise to yourself: you won’t ever lose yourself over jaehyun again.

jaehyun realizes how little time he’s been spending with you recently.

he’s been hearing more about this jungwoo guy. you’ve told him can’t hang out, i’m with jungwoo right now or i’ll be hanging out with jungwoo later. you’ve been so busy catching up with jungwoo that jaehyun hasn’t had the time to talk to you. no more eating or shopping together, not when jungwoo’s around.

jaehyun doesn’t want to say he’s necessarily jealous of the relationship you two share, but can’t say it doesn’t sit right with him. jaehyun is still your friend after all, and he doesn’t like hearing you talk so much about him. during the small chances jaehyun gets to talk to you, you always slip in one mention about jungwoo.

what about jaehyun? what does jungwoo have that he doesn’t? he could totally treat and touch you better than jungwoo ever could. he practically does already. he can’t help but let these little thoughts enter his mind. if jungwoo’s in the way, how is jaehyun supposed to show you how much he likes you?

it’s one day that you’re both splayed across his couch, your legs resting over his as his thumb smoothes across the skin of your thigh when jungwoo is brought up again. out of the corner of his eye, he can see you smile and lightly laugh at your phone. jaehyun, being the nosy person that he is, can’t help but try to reach over to see what you’re laughing at.

you’re quick to push him away, chuckling at the sight of the small pout on his face. he tries again, and you decide it’s probably better just to sit beside him instead. you begrudgingly show him your phone, and he squints his eyes so he can read your screen better.

it’s quiet for a few moments before he hums at the texts between you and jungwoo. it’s a conversation funny enough to make you laugh. he tries not to roll his eyes at the cutesy way jungwoo texts, him being clearly interested in you. he doesn’t want to say anything about it though, doesn’t want you to know that jungwoo bothers him for reasons that he shouldn’t be thinking. 

“he’s funny,” jaehyun muses, trying to stop the snarky remark he wants to say.

“way funnier than you,” you tease, watching him deflate back to his side of the couch. 

“there’s been times where you’ve laughed at my jokes though, like laughed laughed.”

“i was either super drunk or bored out of my mind, so those don’t count.”

jaehyun rolls his eyes at you, deciding to ignore your words, choosing to believe that you think he’s the funniest man ever. he’s been finding himself having little competitions with jungwoo that only he’s a part of. jungwoo is funny? jaehyun is funnier. jungwoo is cute? jaehyun is cute, too, just give him a minute.

jaehyun tries to boil it down to the fact he’s always been competitive, but he knows it’s more than that. in his head, it doesn’t matter what jungwoo does better than jaehyun because right now, you're in his apartment, on his couch, deciding to spend meaningless time with him. 

“what have you both been doing? i haven’t seen you at all this week.” he hates how his voice sounds, a little too clingy for his liking, but he hopes you don’t hear it.

“nothing, really. we’ve just been going out to eat or hanging out when we have the time.”

jaehyun figures you both somehow have all the time in the world in order to be hanging out this much. he makes his voice whiny before speaking, “i miss you, please don’t leave me forever.”

you laugh at the sound of his voice, pulling your legs away from him. “you’re acting like me spending time with jungwoo is gonna kill you.”

“what’s killing me is the fact i don’t get to see you that much anymore,” he grumbles. 

he notices that you don’t respond right away, and when he goes to look at you, your eyebrows are furrowed and there’s a certain look in your eyes. did he say too much? before he can start panicking, you turn towards him, “don’t do that.”

“do what?”

“pretend like you miss me when we already spend a lot of time together. you literally called me up the other night.”

jaehyun lets out a breath, “sorry, but you’re still my friend. i do miss you, i’m jealous that jungwoo gets to see you that much.” although he says it jokingly, there’s definitely truth behind his words. it might not mean much to you, but the fact that jungwoo gets to see you in a way that only jaehyun feels like he deserves, it hurts him.

“i’m gonna tell jungwoo you’re being mean to him,” you huff.

“tell him then,” jaehyun slings an arm around your waist, “let him know that he needs to learn how to share.”

“first of all,” you slide his arm off of you, “don’t say it like that because you make it sound like i’m an object. two, i think you might need to learn how to share.”

he hums, “you were mine first.”

“i was never yours,” you grouch, “you made that clear when you rejected me.”

he can tell you’re joking, but he can feel his blood run cold at your words. it’s a reminder to him that the rejection is still clear in your mind, reminding him just how much he hurt you. it will always be a reminder of how he messed up what could've been a good relationship with you if he just had more time.

he can’t blame you for his own mistake. he can’t.

in the best way he can, he puts his hands together and grovels, “please, can you find it in your kind soul to forgive me?”

you scoff, rightfully so, before grabbing your phone to take a picture of him. you’re quiet for a few moments more, jaehyun knowing that you’re about to post the picture on your instagram story for everyone to see, including jungwoo. he doesn’t want to stop you, equal parts of wanting to show off how you’re hanging out with him and a little bit of embarrassment. 

you set your phone down, placing your hands on top of his, “you can stop. now i kinda just feel bad for you. you do deserve it, though.”

jaehyun doesn’t move, staring at you with a certain look in his eyes. he can tell you right here, he thinks. he’s thought about what he’d say if he were to confess to you almost too much. he’s practiced his lines before, thinking up the perfect way he’d confess. it almost feels right to do it now, clearing his throat and-

your phone buzzes, pulling your attention away from him. he grimaces when you show him the notification. what seems to be jungwoo’s account liking your story, the story that has jaehyun begging for your apology posted on it. you sigh dreamily, “told you he’s funny.”

“not funny when it’s jungwoo.”

“jaehyun!”

you find yourself drinking at jaehyun’s place again.

it’s a slow night, both of you had stressful days. you choose to stay in jaehyun’s kitchen, laughing at unfunny words and pouring more wine for each other as the night rolls on. you didn’t mean to stay over so late, but jaehyun practically begged you to spend some time with him. you were quick to say yes under the guise that all he wanted to do was be with his friend.

before the night went too deep, you texted jungwoo saying that you probably won’t be able to call him tonight. he responds quick, a have fun! and i hope you sleep well :) flashing on your screen. you smile warmly at the messages, but quickly notice jaehyun also staring at them. you push at his shoulders, whining over how he’s invading your privacy.

his cheeks are rosy from the wine, a sly smile on his face as he asks, “how am i not supposed to look when i see you smiling like that.”

“you’re supposed to be a good friend and support me in my times of need!”

he puts his hands up in defense, that annoying smile still looking back at you, “thank you for being so vulnerable around me. and who’s to say i don’t support you in your times of need?”

you hear the double meaning in his words, swatting him away, “hey! you’re actually so gross.”

he just chuckles at your words, enjoying how easily you get embarrassed at his teasing. it’s been happening more often, and jaehyun can’t help but piece together that it might be because of jungwoo. jaehyun feels that you might be slipping away right in front of him, and he can’t really do anything to stop it.

you aren’t completely unaware of jaehyun trying to get you to hang out with him. he’s been sending more texts recently, nothing really important being said. you’re not sure how obvious you’re being with jungwoo, but you’re sure that jaehyun has at least an inkling on how you feel about him. which leads you to believe that jaehyun might be a little jealous.

it was never your intention to make him jealous. that night when you first saw jungwoo again was all unplanned. you never thought you would end up talking to him, never thought you’d like the way he treated you. he was so sweet to you, always trying to take care of your every need when prompted.

it’s bad to compare, but you realize that jaehyun’s only being so nice to you now is because jungwoo’s being nice to you. 

that’s not to say that jaehyun was never not nice to you, but you could tell that it’s a different kind of nice when it comes to him. the relationship you have with jaehyun now feels more like a bandaid to cover all of the bad things that have happened, no one bothering to address it. you don’t want to either way, no use in bringing up what shouldn’t be talked about.

even now, as you’re here with him in his kitchen, feeling the cold air from the open window drift in, there’s unspoken words between the two of you. you can hear the music playing from his speakers in the other room, the melody sticking in your head. it’s weird to think that you would’ve never gotten to see jaehyun like this if you didn’t stay with him.

it’s quiet for a few moments, apart from jaehyun humming along to the song that’s playing. it’s dark, his warm lights low as they cover the both of you. it’s nice like this, a little drunk and a little quiet; you don’t have to think about anything you don’t want to. you don’t think before you speak, “i do miss you, too, you know.” 

“yeah?”

“you’re still someone i appreciate, even after everything.”

he doesn’t respond, and you think he’s taking in your words. you’re not sure why you didn’t specify ‘friend’ but you know he knows better than to have his hopes up anymore. you see that the tips of his ears are pink, the lazy smile on his face showing that he’s a bit tipsy too. he’s not looking at you, you’re not really sure what he’s thinking-

“i think… i think i love you.”

“what?”

his eyes immediately snap to yours, widening as he realizes what slipped out of his mouth. slightly panicking, he stands up, trying to backtrack, “no, i- look-”

“what did you say?”

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it-”

“what does that even mean? you can’t just randomly say you love me and then take it back?”

he chooses not to answer right away, eyes darting all around as he tries to come up with an answer. he can fix this, he can help himself, it’s just… he doesn’t really want to. it’s almost selfish with how he feels a little relief with his confession. “since you’re asking,” he starts, “i… i like you. i’ve liked you for a while now.”

when he looks at you, the anger from before is still there. you’re biting down on your lip, hands balled at your sides as his words hit you. “jaehyun… do you know how wrong that is? since when? after you rejected me?”

“no, i- fine. yes, after i rejected you. i know it’s wrong and i know i shouldn’t but it clicked for me, even if it was a little late.”

“a little late? jaehyun, you’re telling me this after you know i’m talking to someone. you knew that there’d be a high chance that i wouldn’t feel the same. i know you’re not that dumb.”

“but that’s how you felt when you asked me out? even if there was a chance that i would say no to you, you still did it, right? that’s exactly how i feel, how bad would it be if i tried?”

a shocked laugh leaves you, “that isn’t fair! you’re not being fair! you’re not thinking about how i would feel knowing this!”

you think he knows that it’s not the same between you and him. you confessed because you genuinely thought you had a chance with him. jaehyun’s only confessing because you’re talking to jungwoo. 

“i should’ve never let this happen! fuck, i knew if i kept talking to you, something bad would happen.”

he scoffs, wanting to call out your bluff. “i never forced you to come over and talk. you weren’t forced to come over and have sex with me. you could’ve stopped this at any time, but you kept coming back to me.”

you let out an exasperated sound, “we were friends, jaehyun. friends hang out and talk, that’s literally all we were doing.”

he snaps, “friends don’t fuck. friends don’t hold each other after sex. you can’t say that you didn’t feel anything between us. that’s the whole reason i called you for sex the other day, i needed you."

you can hear how loud your heart is pounding in your chest. your head hurts already, the faint song playing in the other room only adding to the pain. there’s nothing more that you want to do than just go home. you wish you could’ve been more clear, you wished you would’ve drawn a clearer line between the two of you. now you’re stuck like this.

you sigh out, mumbling into the quiet air, “if i had known that you were gonna be like this, i would’ve made sure to end whatever we had as soon as possible.”

“if you never met jungwoo, then this probably never would’ve happened. i could’ve asked you out the normal way, but you kind of forced me into drunkenly confessing to you.”

you send a glare straight at him, “do not assume how i would feel in any situation. the fact that you didn’t even want to tell me that you liked me says everything i need to know.”

“how was i supposed to tell the girl i rejected that i like her now?”

“exactly! don’t you see how fucked up that is?”

he shrugs, closing himself off before you can start up again. you know how he gets, pretending that none of this really matters to him. it’s childish, and you know he knows it. you don’t know what else to do. if he can’t sort himself out, there’s no reason for you to be here anymore.

you’re quick to get up and out of the kitchen. he doesn’t look at you at first, but as soon as he hears you pack your stuff into your bag and your car keys in hands, he follows right after you. there’s a startled look on his face, you can tell that he didn’t think you would leave him. you watch as he raises a hand to stop you, but quickly puts it down after some thought.

you let out a breath, “i’m leaving. you can decide if you want to pull yourself together and grow up if you wanna talk. if not, don’t even bother texting me.”

he doesn’t try to argue, watching as you walk out his door. he can’t feel anything, doesn’t really want to do anything other than lay in bed. he walks over to his bedroom, the sound of a familiar slow song getting louder as he walks closer. he makes it inside, pausing the song before laying down onto his back. it’s quiet again.

he just ruined everything.

for the first time in a while, your life feels kinda normal.

there’s not a lot for you to worry about if you ignore a few things. work is fine, your friends are celebrating your freedom, and jungwoo comforts you in every way possible. you realize that jungwoo might’ve been everything you’ve been looking for in a person. he stays close when you need him and gives you space when you ask.

you tell jungwoo that you’re happy to have him right now. you tell him that you’re sorry for acting a little weird recently (he quickly denies your claim). you don’t tell him exactly what happened with jaehyun, but you can assume he at least knows a little. he doesn’t try to pry it out of you, choosing not to remind you of something you don’t want to think of.

and you’re not thinking about it. you haven’t gotten any texts from jaehyun, so why should you care?

as much as you don’t want to admit it, it does feel weird not having jaehyun in your life. you didn’t realize how much you thought about him or how much time was dedicated to being with him. it didn’t seem to matter at first because you thought it was because you both were friends, but you realize he was kind of stringing you along.

there’s a lot of time you have to yourself now. you don’t have to worry about jaehyun calling you randomly throughout the day or one of his spontaneous meetups. you don’t have to think about his you up? texts during the late hours of the night. you don’t have to think about any hurt he’s caused you in the past. none of it will mean anything anymore.

until you get a call from johnny.

“hey, johnny. what’s up?”

he skips right past your greeting, “why doesn’t jaehyun want to hang out with you?”

you’re shocked for multiple reasons. one, of course, johnny already knows your business. two, how dare jaehyun say he doesn’t want to hang out with you. you scoff, “what exactly did he say?”

“he said he was busy, but, like i know he’s not gonna be busy. and that obviously means that something is going on between you two.”

you want to scream into your phone’s microphone. jaehyun doesn’t deserve to set the boundary between you two. he was the one who messed it up in the first place, so why is he the one trying to put distance between you two? “johnny,” you start, “do you promise not to tell anyone about what i’m about to tell you? you can’t even tell jaehyun.”

he lets out a little shocked sound and you can imagine him sitting up straight. he whispers into the call, “what is it?”

“the other night, jaehyun told me he likes me. actually, in his own words, he said he thinks he loves me.”

he gasps loudly into the phone, “what? are you sure? like jaehyun said that? jaehyun?”

“exactly! it doesn’t even seem like something he’d do! he said it was because we were both drinking.”

“that doesn’t even matter,” johnny sighs, “you don’t go around saying that to your friend, especially not the friend you rejected before.”

“you get it! that’s literally what i told him! i need to sit down with you so we can discuss this.”

it’s quiet on the other side of the call, and by his silence, you can tell he’s planning something. it’s never good when he does, so you try to call out his name before he can think any more, but you’re too late.

“i think you should sit down with him to talk about what happened.”

you sarcastically laugh, “he hasn’t even texted me, there’s no way i’m talking to him first.”

“i didn’t say you should text him first, i’m just saying that you both should talk. you can’t just leave this off on bad terms.”

“and if i want to?”

“i know you don’t. plus, it feels like i’m a child whose parents are going through divorce, so you need to fix this.”

you whine into the phone, which causes johnny to laugh on the other end. he’s right, you don’t want this to end badly with jaehyun. even if you both decide to never talk again, you don’t want to have a strained relationship with him. after a few moments, you answer him, “fine, but don’t have your hopes up because even i don’t know what’s gonna happen.”

“okay, perfect, because i already kinda convinced jaehyun to meet up with you.”

“johnny!”

he defends himself, “like i said, i’m basically seeing you guys go through a divorce. please bring my family back together.”

“whatever, do what you want to do.” johnny cheers from the other end of the call, quickly letting out an you won’t be disappointed! before he hangs up, not even letting you say goodbye. as much as you try to hide it, a part of you is happy at the thought of jaehyun wanting to work things out with you.

even if you don’t know what you want just yet, you’ll get yourself ready.

you realize you’re no longer happy when a few days later, jaehyun shows up to your front doorstep, a frown painted on his face.

you almost want to slam the door on him when he speaks. his voice is quiet, “why did you tell johnny you didn’t want to hang out with me?”

as soon as he stops talking, it all clicks in your head. johnny tricked you both. you’ll have to get mad at him later, but for right now, you have to deal with jaehyun who’s pretending he didn’t just ignore you for almost two weeks. you reluctantly let him in, watching as he walks in almost too normally.

no one bothers talking, no one trying to make the first move. you’re staring him down and he tries to ignore the hard stare you’re giving him. while you’re glaring at him, you can see how he looks more tired than usual. the faint lines under his eyes give it away, and when he does finally make eye contact with you, it’s soft, no anger behind his eyes.

you step back, breathing in before speaking, “let’s go talk in my room.”

he sends you a soft smile, not needing you to guide him to your room. he knows the whole layout by now, feeling more like he’s leading you to your own room. he opens the door for you, choosing to let you walk in first. it’s awkward when you have to motion for him to step in, watching him not really knowing what to do.

you move to sit on your bed, and he moves to sit at your desk. it’s not as awkward as it is tense. you don’t know what to say, you didn’t plan on him coming over. his eyes are darting across your room, his eyebrows furrowed as he presumably tries to start the conversation.

“how are you doing?”

you roll your eyes at the simple question, “i’ve been doing fine. i feel like my life’s been a lot calmer since that day.”

he leans forward in his seat, “really? i feel like i’ve lost ten years of my life.”

deserved, you think. you gather all your thoughts before speaking, “i think the days that i spent without thinking about you really changed how i feel. i realized just how much i was entangled in your life. it wasn’t good for me.”

he looks off to the side, taking in your words. you see the hurt that settles in his face, you see how it’s going to be burned into his memory. he smacks his lips, “i think for me it’s the opposite. i realized during this time without you really solidified my feelings. i can’t lie and say that my feelings have changed, because they haven’t.”

you feel anger bubbling up inside you, but you can’t do that today. you take a few breaths, calming yourself down as you focus on what you’re most curious about, “why did you start liking me?”

“i don’t even know. i know it’s shitty of me to realize how much you mean to me after i said no to your confession. i understand why you said no to me.”

“i’m sorry for getting mad so quickly. it was just so out of the blue, i never would’ve expected you to say that.”

you pat the spot on your bed next to you, calling his name softly. he slowly moves to your side, his eyes focused on his hands splayed across his knees. after all this time without you, he wishes he could hold your hand in his, even if he tried to play it off as a joke. it’s been too long without your touch. you took away the only thing that kept him close to you. 

“can i ask something?”

he nods, putting all of his focus on you. it feels intense when he does, you haven’t had him this close in a long time. you clear your throat, “this wasn’t all because of jungwoo, right?”

he sighs, his jaw clenching as he thinks of the right words to say. he’s deep in thought, and you almost want to tell him to drop it all together. he decides to speak up, “honestly? seeing you both together kind of made me realize my feelings. i was losing you to him, and i really couldn’t handle it. i’m not trying to ruin whatever you have going on with him, i promise.”

you don’t know what else to say. so much of this could've been prevented if you kept an eye out for yourself. you also wouldn’t want to go back and change what you’ve done. you don’t regret ever being jaehyun’s friend, you don’t regret all the memories you’ve made with him. 

“so, this… this is really over then?”

you shrug, “i would think so.”

it’s quiet for a few moments, the both of you letting the thought seep in. “this” has never been defined between the two of you, but you can assume it’s almost everything you do together. what you’re feeling now is close to how you felt when he first rejected you. what’s different now is that you can’t help but feel just a little relieved, ending something that probably should’ve never happened.

in another world, you think you would’ve reciprocated jaehyun’s feelings. it would’ve been easy, pieces easily falling into place as you both fall for each other. it’s almost as if it were supposed to be something that was natural. but jaehyun had given the time for you to move on, and you did. it was too late for him to realize his own feelings.

“we can still be friends if you can handle that.”

he laughs incredulously, “if i can handle that? i’m a grown man, thank you very much.”

“yeah? well i think if i were you, i wouldn’t be able to hold back my feelings,” you tease.

he grumbles, “too soon, you’re too mean.”

jaehyun watches a pretty smile adorn your face, and if it weren’t for the current circumstances, he would tell you how pretty you look. he keeps the thought to himself though, opting to ask, “how about one last drink together as friends who are a little more than friends?”

you hum, pretending to think about it. you watch worry wash over his face, and you do feel bad a little bit. “one more time, just for your sake. you look like you might start crying.”

he groans as you walk away to get some wine for the both of you. you’re by yourself for a few moments as you pour the drinks. you feel awkward in here by yourself, left with thoughts and memories of all the things you’ve done together. all the times you’ve had sex, all the times where he’s felt like your boyfriend, but none of it holds to him being your friend.

you don’t know if you can continue being friends with him. 

it would be unfair to jungwoo. you haven’t told him the exact dynamics of how your friendship with jaehyun worked, but you can assume he knows most of it. 

you return to the sight of jaehyun looking around your room. he’s been in here too many times to count, and yet seeing him here now, it’s weird. he feels out of place, he feels almost like a stranger in your own apartment. despite the history you have with him, it seemed to fall apart so easily as soon as conflict hit.

he thanks you quietly when you hand him the glass. you take a small sip of your drink, watching jaehyun do the same from the corner of your eye. after the drink, he chooses to speak, “so how are you and jungwoo?’

“that’s how you want to start our small talk?” you splutter out.

“i mean, can i not be interested in my friends' love life?”

well it’s hard when you were directly involved in it. you shrug, taking another small sip before speaking, “i’m… really happy that i’m talking to him. he takes care of me, he’s always asking how i’m doing. it’s nice being with him.”

you can tell jaehyun is trying not to let your words affect him, “are you both… officially dating yet?”

his words make you shy, your facing feeling hot at the idea of dating jungwoo. brushing off his words, you laugh, “no! not yet, at least. i think i’d say yes if he asked me out.”

he nods, his head hanging heavy, hand twirling the wine in his glass. you know what he’s thinking, you don’t need to ask him. you can’t be his, you won’t ever be his. you think that this was never supposed to work out, no matter how hard you tried or how much you think he could’ve loved you. he wasn’t meant for you.

“okay, one more thing.”

he nods, turning his attention back on you.

“did you really mean it back then, like, when you said that you weren’t ready for a relationship?”

“yes, i was scared. i think back then, even though i didn’t realize it, i also had feelings for you. but it was… it just wasn’t the right time for me. even though i liked spending so much time with you, there were things i wanted to figure out first.”

you cock your head to the side, “like?”

he hums in thought for a bit, trying to remember times from so long ago. thinking back, you remember how you felt old, you felt like you were already an adult. but he’s right, there were still things you didn’t know about yourself, and you wonder if dating jaehyun would’ve stopped you from figuring them out.

“i guess… mostly wanting to decide what i wanted to do with my life. now that i’ve somewhat settled, i feel more confident in what i want. even though it came at the worst time, i was so sure that i could see you in my future.”

the confession doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. you can relate to how he feels. for the longest time, you felt that you needed jaehyun in your life. it wasn’t until after he confessed to you that you saw that there’s more to your life than him. you’re thankful for all the time you’ve had with him, but there’s still so much more for you to do.

it’s like this for a few more hours, the sunset bleeding into the night time. you both have a few more drinks, jaehyun eventually turns on music playing on his phone. you feel a lot better now. you only want the best for jaehyun, and you think that this is the best for the both of you.

jaehyun has to leave at some point, one of the last buses back to his place coming soon. you don’t want him to go, you don’t want him to leave the comfort of your bedroom. there’s a small part of you that’s scared that you’ll never see him here again. you try to remind him that this is what you both need, clear, distinct boundaries.

you walk him to your door, “you’ll text me once you're at your apartment, right?”

he shuffles over, “yeah, i will. johnny will make sure i get there safe.”

you nod, opening the door for him. he walks out, watching you with an unsure look on his face. a part of you wants to let him in, wants to let him give you one last kiss. it’s wrong, your grip on your door getting tighter at the thought. he still has a strong pull on you, your hand wanting to reach for his.

it’s not meant to be.

“goodnight, jaehyun. i’ll see you soon, okay?”

“alright, goodnight. i… i’ll be here if you ever need me. i’ll wait.”

you smile, “i know. thank you, get back safe.”

he nods, waving you off before he walks away. you close the door, locking it behind you. it’s quiet now, no soft conversations, no laughing, just the sound of your feet pattering on the floor. 

you don’t really feel like crying. you don’t feel like there’s something missing inside you. jaehyun used to be a big part of you, but as time went on, he took up less and less space.

there’s more important things to worry about than someone who couldn’t make time for you. you have time to figure things out now, you have time to figure out what you really want, whether that’s jungwoo or someone else. 

you’ve never felt better. 

as jaehyun scrolls through instagram, he sees a post from you. it’s been a while since he’s seen you in person, so he’ll take anything he can get. the first few photos are of you, and the next few are pictures of things he assumes you found pretty. the last photo is what makes him pause, a photo of what he can only assume is jungwoo holding your hand.

he checks the comments, some of your friends replying with different emojis, all to tease you with. they all seem to know about your budding relationship with jungwoo. jaehyun’s glad that it’s going well for the both of you. it’s what you deserve after what he put you through.

he hung out with you and johnny the other day. as much as everyone tried to be normal, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he changed the dynamics of your friendship. you and johnny were the same, easily laughing and joking around with each other. it’s not exactly awkward when you and jaehyun talk, but the air around you is certainly different.

it’s what should’ve happened, at the start of it all you both should’ve set rules. jaehyun realizes that he would’ve never gotten to see you in the ways he did. warm lights from his kitchen painting over your skin, or when the light from the moon would shine over your body while he holds you close. he wouldn’t trade those memories for anything.

you were all he had, and losing you is something he will always regret. he knows that you’re doing good now, not just with jungwoo. he doesn’t want to come in and ruin what you’ve built up. it doesn’t matter how much he wants to hold you in his arms or kiss you, you’re better off without him.

he just wishes he had more time.

a/n: hey people... what did we think of this ending... jaehyun is my friend i do not hate him i like him... anyways i hoped u like this... it took longer than i thought it would but im glad its out HOORAYYY

taglist: @froggyforyoongi @the-universe-in-you-jjh @ppeachyttae @omlhyck @hazyhae @haechology @jaehyunful @girlwholoveslpreppyattire @diorcities @hrts4doie @ohmytyong @ecvm5236 @faeryus @riri4andy @rjtulips @missesgirl @shiorebirth @sugaringgcaramel @camomillie @ninicornposts @il02isa @sincerelyneo @perfumejamal @justhgiwo @lovingyoulovinme2 @babyriannie @eunseoksimp @jeonreal @mawnehkah @shoetaroshoe (thank u all omg 🫂❤️)

this is too fucking cute ohMYGOD  

Something Stupid | J.JH

SYNOPSIS. Out of all the things that could spill out of his mouth while spending time with you, Jaehyun finds himself saying the stupidest words of all.

PAIRING. friends-with-benefits!Jeong Jaehyun x (fem) friends-with-benefits!reader GENRE. Friends-with-Benefits!AU | Friends-to-Lovers!AU | Fluff | Suggestive WORD COUNT. 1559 WARNINGS. suggestive content: making out, alluding to sex (but no explicit descriptions!), fwb situationship; i use the word stupid a lot; nicknames: my sweet girl

PLAYLIST. something stupid - frank sinatra

DISCLAIMER. This is work of fiction. I do not own the people/characters and concepts I have written about. You cannot translate or copy my work. Crossposted on AO3 by sehunnypot.

Making out with you is a pastime Jaehyun will never get tired of. It’s been an hour since you’ve arrived at his place, bodies tangled together in between his wrinkled sheets. Unlike the other times you’ve spent in his bed, Jaehyun savors his time with you–never moving past his wandering hands, clothes still separating you from the heat you will always crave. Even when a hand slips in between the thin material of his shirt, fingers tickling the soft skin of his wide back, he doesn’t cave in like he usually does.

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hi!! i hope you’re doing well 😊 i saw your requests were open and i’m hoping you could write something about reader overhearing jaehyun talking/admitting to friends that the reader fell first but he fell harder. it could purely be fluff but i won’t be opposed to it being angst to fluff hahaha — anyway, i hope this is alright with you! thank youuu

pairing: Jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: angst + fluff | childhood best friends to lovers

word count: 3.8k

tw: mention of food + pregnancy

a/n: may or may not be inspired by dear.m lol there’s a bit (a lot) of angst because i’ve been going through it and let’s face it, it’s me haha. enjoy! thank you anon who sent this ❤

—-

Five years ago.

“I really don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to say it. I like you Jaehyun. A lot. More than a best friend.”

Jaehyun stood in front of you shock with eyes wide. “What? Why are you saying this?”

“I can’t help the way I feel about –“

Keep reading

him&sunsets.

every sunset enlightens you with immerse beauty of nature, maybe the whole idea of sun setting down for the moon to rise warms up your heart, entirely.

then, there you are; laying down on your king-sized bed staring at the sun shining as it slowly sinks down for the day from your window, a hand sneaks in your waist, grabbing you tightly. turning around to face your boyfriend, who has a lazy smile graced upon his face, caging you in his embrace.

“hi” he softly whispered with his hoarse voice, as he woke up from his short slumber. “hi.” you said back with your hands running through his thick hair, observing his face with admiration. your fingers instinctly travelled through his eyes, trailing down to his small mole below his right eye, his redden cheeks then finally to his pink lips. your hands landed on his neck, eyes fixed on him. god, he is beautiful.

“i love you.” he spoke up, leaning in to scatter kisses all over your face, gently, taking his time. tightening his grip around your waist as he tenderly brings you on top of him, cautiously sits up, back resting on the headboard. as he trail his kisses down your cheeks, you gathered your courage to pull him in a kiss, playing pull and push as he lingered over your lips breathlessly, teasing you to come forward just for him to pull away.

“really, now?” you chuckled, panting after the kiss, he returned a chuckle and a nod, as-if he did something to be proud of; you put your forehead on his shoulder, smile never leaving your face, you closed your eyes for awhile. your action gave him free access over your naked-body, bringing his lips to your neck, peppering his kisses down to your shoulder, as his fingers casually started tracing your naked back, creating random forms of patterns.

you giggled, instantly making jaehyun halt his doings, “it tickles, babe.” eyes remained close. “oh, is that so?” you could imagine his playful smirk as he spoke up, his hands landed on your stomach, he playfully started tickling you which immediately made you burst out a loud laugh.

the room filling up with yours and his laughter, the atmosphere around was soaked with nothing but love; yours and his, that made you feel whole, a happy person with the person you love the most wrapped around your arms.

maybe jaehyun made you love the sunset or the sunset made you love jaehyun more than you already have.

masterlist

find love, find happiness.

tw: cheating

“leaving so soon?” unfamiliar yet familiar arm wrapped around your waist as you tried to escape from the unknown man’s bed. the more foreign the arms were, the more guilt spread around your chest; the shame of your wrongdoings. with unspoken words, you got up and left the man’s apartment. the strange route to your apartment gave you another slap of shame, just shame.

the door; unlocked. your heart started racing, million thoughts ran across your mind. he knows. how can he not? the thing was; you ran away for countless reasons; not because you were scared but because you were not bothered by every action that could possibly hurt your significant other. jaehyun was different, instead of letting you sprint away to your wonderland, he would talk about it. so unfamiliar gesture by someone you deserve no ounce of respect from.

“where were you?” billion dollar question, but was it worth winning and losing him, so you lied. “i was at my friend’s house.” you uttered softly with almost no hesitation. shameless. you shut your washroom’s door as you finally saw your reflection clearly, on the mirror in front of you. the shame arising making you look away from the mirror.

you lied. you lied. for what? at what cost? at the end, he will find out, he will know what you have been doing behind his back. he will look at you with disgust and agony. he will be in pain; caused by you, because of your wants; your unstability. you. you are the cause of what you have become now. but; jaehyun is delicate, he is gentle with what he has, cherishes what he loves; he cherishes you, loves you yet that is how you repay him.

so, you twisted the doorknob as your feet naturally brought you towards him. “i cheated, on you.” relieve was not the first thing you felt after the unspoken words left your lips. guilt, hurt and the urge to hug him. the man stood still facing you, his eyes glitched with pain, almost not believing it. “no, you are lying to me. you were with your friends.” he spoke with his raspy voice yet he did not move an inch. the jeopardy of your relationship was you, nobody else. just you.

“listen to me clearly. i went home with another man who i don’t even know anything about. i just came back from his house.” you spoke with no emotions; who are you to show your vulnerability when all you did was, hurt others? the sun shine upon through the window of your sitting room in your apartment, your eyes glanced at jaehyun’s silhouette on the floor of yours, eyes failing to glance his.

“do-” he whispered, barely audible - “do you not love me anymore? is it something i did?” he touched your cheeks, as your teary eyes met his. questions, nothing but questions flooded in your mind; how do you comfort the person you have hurt? how are you so worthy to be held by him even now? “i do. i do love you.” because you do, there is no denying, you do. there is no understanding on what you did; that is why he needs to go.

“but why-” the man was lost in his own words, forming words into sentences as he questioned you with his clouded mind, “you need to leave.” you stepped away from his palm, warmth leaving your cheeks. so familiar, yet so foreign, so distant. why do you destroy the love you recieve from your own hands; why are you the murderer of your own happiness?

“this is so fucking stupid, you lied to me then told me you cheated on me, said you love me. now you are asking me to leave?” this was his breaking point, the probability of this being a nightmare was low. “you want to stay with a woman who cheated on you?” you raised your voice, his actions were laughable, how can he stand few steps away from you and does not scream at you? how much are you able to hurt him?

“i am asking for an explanation, y/n. why did you do that?” his voice was laced with hurt and anger as he clenched and unclenched his fist, repeatedly. “i am not good with relationships neither am i convincing you that whatever i did was a mistake so you can easily forgive me. not being good in relationships is also not an excuse. i simply did not think about you when i did what i did, last night.” you wiped your tears away from your cheeks quickly, glancing at jaehyun, who was taking in what you said.

one step, two steps away from you.

the more he dragged his feets away from you, the need to step forward was desperate. you wanted to reach for his hands and hold it. ask for forgiveness, beg him to stay, anything. “i am leaving then. thank you for everything.” he smiled, sadly; tears escaping down his cheeks. so you reached out for his hands; for him to move back, once again. your palm itched, itched for his hands, you want to hold him, so much.

“yeah, that’s okay. please, know that you tried your best in this relationship. you were never the problem, please please, never blame yourself for anything. god, you gave so much love to me. you have so much love in yourself-” you smiled back at him, maybe another time, another time where you know yourself better then you can cross path with him and fall in love all over again. “so fall in love again, please be happy with someone who gives you love and happiness. i will always root for you.”

-

the sun still shines bright, it’s april again. the cherry blossom is overrated in your opinion. you personally like sitting on the rooftop of your workplace where you can observe the whole seoul.

for now, you fixed your borrowed dress as you were about to leave the venue, “you came?” the voice you yearned so much, jaehyun, he wore his black tuxedo; how perfect for a groom. he looks happy. “i would never miss your wedding.” you gave a soft smile, you stared at his eyes; happiness, warmth, still comforting. he just does not look happy, he looks in love. “i am so happy for you.”

masterlist

post-party.

“so, you want me to be in this call for how long?" your friend from the other line asked again, not understanding the use of you freaking out for the tenth time. the plan was simple; make your friend hear everything he was speaking, eat dinner, and bye-bye forever. they did say easier said than done; you felt like your heart is about to burst out from your chest, alongside with your hands trembling in nervousness and a slight flutter but you refuse to admit it to anybody.

the more you admit; the more feelings you will let in since you have been blocking all the invalid feelings the minute, he walked away without saying goodbye to you. who is he to twirl in your life again? after all the mess he created in your life, vice versa. "you heard me right." you said back, clearly.

the pathway was familiar for you, the small party you would have in the diner after breaking up then fucking with no feelings, and lastly, confessing feelings for someone else. the restaurant was most probably tired of both of your shit, and you do not blame it. you were tired too, but you were tired of the restless nights with no answers, tossing and turning in your bed after seeing him in your dreams and sneakily stalk his instagram from your friend's phone. you sighed understanding that you need inner peace of what happened happened, it is okay to put him in your past.

"you missed me that much?" you cracked a joke once again. jaehyun realized you have grown more carefree; you smile more and you glow. the y/n jaehyun knew evolved into the person he always wished you to be, yet he had a bitter taste in his mouth realizing how many hardships you had to go through to finally fuck the world to set yourself this free. "i left with any words, so did you. so our whatever we had kinda was left in the road." he initiated the conversation you wished you had years ago. you remember crying when he left you with no message, no letter or anything. he was just gone.

"you missed me that much?" you cracked a joke once again. jaehyun realized you have grown more carefree; you smile more and you glow. the y/n jaehyun knew evolved into the person he always wished you to be, yet he had a bitter taste in his mouth realizing how many hardships you had to go through to finally fuck the world to set yourself this free. "i left with any words, so did you. so our whatever we had kinda was left in the road." he initiated the conversation you wished you had years ago. you remember crying when he left you with no message, no letter or anything. he was just gone.

"you missed me that much?" you cracked a joke once again. jaehyun realized you have grown more carefree; you smile more and you glow. the y/n jaehyun knew evolved into the person he always wished you to be, yet he had a bitter taste in his mouth realizing how many hardships you had to go through to finally fuck the world to set yourself this free. "i left with any words, so did you. so our whatever we had kinda was left in the road." he initiated the conversation you wished you had years ago. you remember crying when he left you with no message, no letter or anything. he was just gone.

you acknowledged what he meant by 'left in the road.' even after having relationships with multiple people, he was stuck with you at all times; as if he never left you. the traffic he caused in your mind, all the new potential relationships you rejected with the reason being one day, jaehyun will come back to you. fuck jaehyun, fuck everything.

"here is your favourite dish. we missed you guys so much. enjoy." the manager served us our regulars from years ago. you and jaehyun smiled pleasingly. the heavenly fish filet curry with rice combo was the first dinner date with jaehyun, and it felt like just yesterday of you,- "you remember you nearly teared up at how good this was and i recorded you." jaehyun woke you up from the memory field-trip you were taking, so he remembers as well. "you remember?" your eyes widen surprisingly.

jaehyun shook his head, "you really think i would forget? y/n, i was fucking in love with you like crazy." he let out a smile, giving you a spoon for you to dig in. you froze still. ah, really, fuck jaehyun. taken back by his sudden outburst, you were left dumbfounded; what do you do with a piece of information like this? but this is why you are here in front of him. "aw man, really because felt like i was just your go-to girl most of the time." you smirked slightly, the unsettling feeling absorbed your chest as it started tighten thinking of how much he belittled you; even after knowing your feelings for him.

"i was young and stupid as i grew up, i felt the need to impress people around me to keep them. when we dated, we were so young but i knew for sure that i loved you. there was not one moment where i didn't." jaehyun choked out, "even after you broke up, i was mad at you, why did you do it? so i hated you or i tried. at the end, you came back and you stayed, no matter how shitty i fucking treated you and how much i used you." you inhaled loudly, as the tears blurred the image of jaehyun in front of you.

"i cried not knowing what the fuck did i do for you to treat me like garbage. you ran back to me when your girlfriend broke up. you would come back to me asking of doing this relationship with me again but the next moment, you would say you could not do this and leave again, making me feel like a fucking loser." you spilled out everything you could not do it before. in fear of losing him.

but you got nothing to lose anymore

"i kept you around because you made me feel better about myself. no matter what people would say to you, at the end of the day, you would be with me, assuring me that i was a lot better than what people say about me. i did not want to lose you in any way." jaehyun confessed, fist clenched on the table. as you stared up as your tears rolled down anyway. the burning sensation on your throat and the twisting curls on your heart hurt you. you wanted to go.

"but for me, i kept you because maybe one day you will come back to me. i know i did wrong, breaking up with you at the first place. perhaps, we would have recklessly gotten married or would have had kids. i always wanted t-" you clenched your jaw to prevent yourself to sob in front of him, "i have always loved you. even when you left without any words, i thought of you and wished you well. i hated you but i could not curse at your life anymore." you let out a sob.

"i still love you, jaehyun. i miss you, i miss you so much. you left me wounds but i learnt to be better for myself. after this talk, i wish you to stop staying mad at yourself, i want you to forgive yourself. let me go." through all the tears; where your cheeks are, most probably, red, you let out a smile.

he returned back, glassy eyes staring at you. "i am so sorry. i am so sorry. i wish i could take back things that i did. i wish i treated you better. you deserve someone who keeps you because they want to make you happy with them. i love you," jaehyun chuckled again with tears rolling down again. as his hand slide towards yours to hold onto it, for the last time. "i wish you nothing but happiness. i wish you have good days, but don't forget about me. keep me in your memories and i will keep you in mine. please know i will pray for your happiness." you tighten the embrace. his hands still felt home and safe but unknown.

he is not yours anymore.

maybe in another life, you two would be perfect for each other. in another life, you guys will find ways back to each other. "this time, i am really letting you go, jaehyun. thank you for loving me. please be happy as well." the food turned stone cold now, yet his hand was on yours, still warm.

letting his hand go, you smiled so did he. "thank you again." jaehyun stared at you with just adoration and sadness. he wished also, in another life, he will keep you safe with him; but for now, it is time to let go. "thank you." he nodded, and off i go.

putting your phone back on your ears, "it's okay, y/n. i am proud of you, baby. cry your heart out for the last time."

so you did.

side-note. break-ups are messy but what’s messier but braver is talking, no matter how long it takes. it’s good to let them know that you are ready to set them free from your mind and from your heart. the whole drabble is messy in a way because i picture when you talk to someone who you have hurt and who has hurt you, it is gonna be messy because you do not know where to start and where to end. it will be all over the place. but i hope the pain eases when you let it go, let it heal. so please be free, do not hurt yourself anymore and i will do the same.

happy reading till then. x

mafia! jaehyun: stitched heart

summary: when a stranger hides in y/n’s apartment, she isn’t prepared for what she just got sucked into

pairing: mafia! jaehyun x college student! reader

warning: small amount of violence, mentions of drugs, angst, my friends @huangsren and @hwangdol dragged me down this stupid writing hole and now i’m here, yw :)

jaehyun seems like your REGULAR man who goes about living his life like any other citizen in seoul

yet, what no one knows is that jaehyun runs the most infamous gang, nct

jaehyun has been with nct since the beginning and watched the gang grow to be as successful as they are now

he was there for every single drug exchange that allowed them to be able to financially sustain themselves and every turf war where they had to defend their base and such

however, he can never forgive himself for dragging an innocent college student into his line of work

one night, after being heavily injured, jaehyun was on the run from a rivaling gang

he was running out of ways to run until he saw a window open on the fifth floor of an apartment building 

he began ascent up and climbed into the window of the stranger’s apartment, closing the window as fast as he could, in order to go unnoticed by those chasing him

as he sat on the ground to catch his breath, he saw a girl sitting on her bed with a bowl in her hand, ramen hanging out of her mouth as she just stares at the strange, bloodied man that came into her room

the ramen drops from the girl’s mouth as her mouth is still agaped

as a scream was about to leave the girl’s mouth, jaehyun put his finger to his lip, peeking out the window to see the gang running past the apartment complex

he looks back to see the girl had closed her mouth and had her chopsticks up as if it were some weapon that could protect her 

“please put down the chopsticks, i won’t hurt you,” he tried to calm the girl as the shock had finally hit her that some man had just jumped into her window when it was five floors up

“i just wanted to eat my ramen in peace tonight and now i have to deal with some man hopping into my room and getting blood ALL OVER MY CARPET,” the girl responded, putting her chopsticks back in the bowl

jaehyun looked down to see a puddle of blood sitting below him due to the amount of cuts he had gotten 

the girl finally spoke up, “please just go in the bathroom while i get the first aid kit” 

jaehyun followed the girl into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet seat as the girl walked away to get her first aid kit, not forgetting to put on her bunny slippers on her way out

she came back with a white box and opened it to get bandages and antibiotic ointment to prevent any infections

“before i start treating you, i deserve to know your name after you basically broke into my house and ruined my ramen eating session” the girl said, cutting the awkward silence

“jaehyun” he had responded curtly

“well i’m y/n and the least you can do is actually talk to me while i’m doing this, the silence is suffocating me”

thus, the two began to speak about their themselves as y/n was cleaning his cuts

jaehyun later learned she is in college studying to become a nurse and y/n learned about jaehyun being in nct and the reason why he had randomly popped himself into her apartment

after tending to his injuries, y/n had set up a makeshift bed on her couch in the living room for him to spend the night, even after jaehyun had attempted to politely refuse

she insisted that his injuries were still healing and he needed to rest for the night

it is now 12:42, y/n was snoring peacefully as jaehyun laid on her couch staring at her bowl of unfinished ramen sitting on the counter

although jaehyun had the mindset of making this their first and last time meeting, he couldn’t bring himself to never see her again

thus, began their weekly hangouts in y/n’s apartment

whether it be watching high school musical and singing along to all the songs or eating ramen like every broke college students

y/n really began to see that behind the tough mafia persona was a little soft teddy bear with cute dimples

although, there were the few times that jaehyun did come to her apartment all cut up again causing y/n to tend to his wounds while scolding him about being careful and making her worry 

through this time period, they began to develop feelings for each other 

and like every oblivious character in fanfics, they took every display of affection to be completely platonic

because all friends cuddle each other on the couch and give each other random cheek kisses right??

jaehyun realized how hard he was falling for her as he knew every little thing about her

from wrapping herself in a blanket burrito whenever she sleeps to scrunching her nose when she’s focused

especially when he as super deep cuts from fighting that cause her to stitch them together rather than the normal neosporin and hello kitty bandaid 

jaehyun, like every other idiot in fanfics began to distance himself from y/n thinking it will stop his feelings 

this caused y/n an immense amount of distress because she began to miss his company and his comforting hugs as her finals were approaching

but she took it as jaehyun being caught up in his line of work and tried to be understanding, making up any excuses for his absences 

jaehyun came over one day as y/n had called him over which had him questioning what could she possibly have to tell him at 1am

when he came over, y/n ran up and hugged him leaving him all confused

“i passed my finals and i have enough credits to be able to graduate early” y/n screamed while having the biggest smile

jaehyun smiled at her, showing his dimples (wow i’m soft)

“you’ll be there at my graduation right?” y/n asked while pouting, making it harder to jaehyun to say no

“of course, i wouldn’t miss it for the world” jaehyun responded which made y/n’s smile grow bigger as she planted a kiss on his cheek and skipped to the kitchen to make ramen for the both of them

jaehyun watched her from a distance thinking, “yeah my feelings are still there”

jaehyun continued to distance himself and submerge himself in his work

on a particular day, he was dealing with a drug deal with another rivaling gang which turned very violent very fast

what he had forgotten is the drug deal had taken place on the same day as y/n’s graduation

y/n looked around the crowd in her cap and gown for the dimple boy and couldn’t find him anywhere

soon enough it was here turn to walk across the stage for her diploma

she looked up as she was on the stage and still could not point him out

after graduation, she waited outside the graduation hall for him, until she was the only one left in the whole building

tears began to fall on the floor as she realized jaehyun had broken his promise

she began to walk towards the bus stop in hopes of catching a late bus to take her home

as she got off the bus, the bus driver took pity as he saw her puffy eyes

“hey, congratulations kiddo” the middle aged man said to y/n seeing her in her cap and gown 

y/n looked at the kind man and smiled replying a quiet “thank you” 

mumbling a small “at least someone was there for me” as walked towards her home

y/n threw her cap and gown as soon as she got into her apartment, taking a shower, and changing in her comfortable clothing

she plopped herself on the couch and turned on high school musical, singing all the songs by herself as she continued crying

jaehyun, who was once again bloody and heavily injured made his way to y/n’s apartment hoping she was awake to treat his wounds

once he walked into her apartment using her spare key, he saw the girl sitting on her couch with red eyes 

she looked at the doorway and saw jaehyun 

she glared at him and went back to watching the troy and gabriella singing breaking free, jaehyun’s favorite song

jaehyun walked up to her, standing in front of the tv

“hey, do you mind helping me out?” jaehyun asked pointing out all the cuts he had, while y/n just looked out the window away from him

“y/n” jaehyun waved his hand in front of her which caused her to slap his hand out of reflex

“what’s the matter with you?” jaehyun asked

which caused y/n to be enraged as she replied “what day is it today?”

jaehyun looked at the calendar in her room where the day was marked “y/n’s graduation :))” making his eyes go wide that he forgot

“y/n i’m so sorry” jaehyun sympathetically said as he looked down to the floor

“I waited for you for so long, usually i’m so lenient with you ditching our weekly hangouts thinking it’s for work, but the one time i wanted you there, you can’t even do it” y/n said as tears began to make their way to her water line again

“it’s just a graduation it’s not that big of a deal” jaehyun scoffed

“it meant everything to me and you know that. i actually thought i meant at least something to you for you to actually care about my feelings but obviously all you care about is yourself” y/n spat out

“well maybe you’re right, you really meant nothing to me, you were just some who kept latching onto me and couldn’t even see that I never enjoyed your shitty company” jaehyun exclaimed 

immediately both their eyes went wide 

the tears finally fell from y/n’s eyes as jaehyun stood still not believe he had just spewed out such lies

as he tried to reach for y/n to bring her into an embrace, she ran past him, out the house in her bunny slippers

jaehyun fell to his knees as he finally let his words and its effects soak in

y/n kept running until someone pulled her into an alleyway and afterwards she lost consciousness

when she had awoken, she was tied to a chair where she saw a man cleaning a gun

she tried to scream but realized her mouth was taped

the attempted scream caused the man to turn around

the man ripped the tape off her mouth and covered his ears as he heard her scream’s full volume

“wow jaehyun, really picked a loud one” the man mumbled

“what do you want with me?” y/n asked

the man then explained who he was and his intentions of luring jaehyun to the warehouse to kill him, using y/n as bait as jaehyun loved her too much to let her die

y/n scoffed, “i mean nothing to him”

the man then took a photo of her replying “let’s test it”

jaehyun then received the picture of y/n held captive with a message attached saying “come to warehouse 42 if you want to save her”

immediately, without thinking about the injuries he already had, he ran to the warehouse without thinking about the car he had perfectly parked in the parking lot outside the apartment complex

but as he got to the door of warehouse 42, all he heard was a gunshot and a scream

was he too late?

Conflicted

So, I never thought that it would come to this. I do not tolerate this action due to family history, but I don’t know what came over me. Maybe I was overpowered by this guy’s charms that I just had to write something like this. 

To know more what I’m talking about, read on. I won’t even give a summary because I want you guys to know what’s up with this. 

And here’s the devil, erm, Jeong Jaehyun looking like a full-course meal even if he’s just serving face to hype you up. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

POV: 2nd person still. 

Word count: 1,900 + words 

Genre: Romance, with a dash of fluff and a bit of angst. A well-balanced meal, if I should say so myself. 

Warning: Read until the bottom of this page, and you’ll get what you’re going to read, maybe next post or some other time. 

–––

You felt conflicted whenever Jaehyun was near you.

Although he was your boyfriend’s ex-roommate, there were times that he would hang out at your apartment to catch up with him.

After all, they used to work together as radio DJs. They had a nightly program that you always tuned to before. You and Johnny were still best friends then, and you know you would be frustrated if he still had his program now that you’re together. You two won’t have the time to cuddle, because he would be working and you would wake up with him asleep on the couch.

As you watched Johnny and Jaehyun converse at the dining table, you couldn’t help but observe the younger guy. He was a Disney prince in real life – creamy white skin, immaculately dressed, and with great hair to boot. He also had a beautiful voice that everyone, regardless of age and gender, would fall for.

Those reasons made you feel weird because you’re already in a relationship with one of the most handsome men you know, but at the same time, you couldn’t keep your eyes off him sometimes.

Why am I even thinking of this? You thought as you tied your hair up in a bun to focus on your sideline. It has been a hot minute since you edited textbooks, and sometimes they amused you because some manuscripts contained hilarious content from idiotic authors.

You were already halfway editing the textbook when you felt someone tap your shoulder. You turned around to see Jaehyun, smiling with his adorable dimples on display.

“Hi Essie, it’s time to eat,” he said gently before he went back to the dining table. You followed suit since you didn’t say no to an invitation to eat. You saw that the guys prepared Korean barbecue, which you have been craving as of late.

“Wow, samgyupsal! I missed this!” You cooed, eyeing all the side dishes that you haven’t eaten in months. “I know you’ve been craving for this, baby. I hear you looking for samgyupsal in your sleep,” Johnny said, eliciting a chuckle from Jaehyun.

You glared at your boyfriend who just gave you a heart sign and winked when you raised your fist at him. Your guest was laughing at your interaction, entertained how one of his best friends bantered with his girlfriend.

As the three of you dug in, you talked about everything – from the weather, your music playlists (to be honest, you liked Jaehyun’s taste more than Johnny’s), your upcoming plans, and even your relationships.

“Uh, can someone please pass me the kimchi?” You asked, your hand trying to reach the bowl of said food across the table. It was Jaehyun who handed you the bowl, and you almost dropped it when your fingers touched.

“Sorry,” you both muttered, giving timid looks at each other. Johnny noticed your interaction and raised his eyebrows.

“Babe, what’s this? You’re shy of Jeong Jaehyun?” He asked, even stamping his feet for effect. You could tell that he was both curious and annoyed – curious that you felt that way and annoyed that maybe your feelings for him weren’t that strong as he thought.  

“B-but…” you started, your eyes meeting Jaehyun’s for a moment before you turned to your boyfriend. “He’s too handsome, just like you…” Your voice was so soft that you felt you were the only one who heard it.

There was a moment of silence before Jaehyun cleared his throat. You and Johnny looked at him, which made him flustered. His ears were practically red now.  

“Baby, I know he’s too handsome for this world, but I hope you’re not falling for him,” Johnny said monotonously, trying his best not to sound jealous.

On your part, you appreciated his honesty. That was one of the things you loved about him – his brutally frank comments helped you with your problems most of the time.

However, you also enjoyed how he seemed jealous of your budding crush on his friend, who now covered his face with his hands. “Please stop looking at me,” Jaehyun mumbled while peeking from the small spaces in between his fingers.

“Of course not, darling! You’re still my number one,” your attention was directed to Johnny this time, “but I have to be honest that Jaehyun is such a stunner that I can’t help but look at him sometimes,” you ended by taking a glance at the guy on your right.

The nerve of this guy to wink at you at this moment! You felt your body heat up at this, and you clenched your utensils tightly to fight it off.

“Jaaaaay! Don’t make her fall in love with you! She should be in love with me, and only me!” Johnny was whining like a baby, and the tension that enveloped the table earlier vanished.

You and Jaehyun laughed at how the 6-footer was acting. “Don’t worry, she won’t. Right, Essie? You’ll try your best not to fall in love with me?” The prince-like guy gave you another wink again and blew you a brief kiss.

You laughed in return, flushing red at the attention you were getting. “Hey, you’re totally trying to steal her from me!” Johnny quipped, whose long arm grabbed your wrist so you can focus your attention on him.

“I’m the only one you love, right?” He changed his voice to a sultry one and he gave you The Look. You felt your heart flutter and your insides became warmer. Ah, he still got you every time he did that.

“Yes, honey,” you murmured, shyly looking at his face. “You’re the one that I love.”

Jaehyun began to sing Shania Twain’s ‘You’re Still The One’, and Johnny followed suit. Then all of you sang the song until the end and burst into laughter at how funny (and flirty) you felt for the past few minutes.

After eating, Johnny had to take care of some errands, leaving you and Jaehyun alone in the apartment. “Don’t you even dare, Jeong Yoon-oh,” your boyfriend threatened, which you and your companion did not take seriously. “Don’t try to do anything to my girl,” were his last words before he left the house.

\\\

If there was one word to describe your situation after Johnny left, it was awkward.

You were seated on the end of the couch with a pillow on your stomach as you busily scrolled through your social media feed. On the opposite end was Jaehyun, who was also doing the same.

You could hear the videos he was playing, and you bet he could hear you mutter something under your breath. That was one quirk of yours whenever you scrolled through your Twitter feed – you had to comment on people’s tweets audibly first before responding to them on the app.

“You’re such a hoe, bitch,” you mumbled as you also typed it as your response. You were commenting on Ten’s latest post, which was an outtake on one of his shoots. He looked like a Renaissance painting that came to life with his velvet suit, silk ruffled shirt, and jeweled shoes.

“Who’s a hoe, Essie?” Jaehyun asked, melting you with his stare.

“It’s definitely not you!” You responded, cheeks red from embarrassment. You didn’t mean for him to hear your comment – you made a mental note to correct your quirk, so people don’t question you.

He laughed at your reaction and moved closer to where you were seated. “Then who are you calling a hoe then?”

You leaned back against the couch, hoping that there will be more space you could back out into. “It’s only Ten that I call as such, and it’s our thing,” you said, raising your phone to your face to cover how flushed it was.

“Really? You and Ten have a thing? Does Johnny know of this?” With every word he spoke, he moved closer to you.

“Not like that, dude! Ten’s one of my closest friends now. And you know he won't do something that will make Johnny angry, right?”

This stopped Jaehyun from approaching you, and it was his time to lean back on the sofa. “Oh, is that so?” he rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

When you thought that he was done from crawling toward you, he surprised you when he wrapped his arms around your waist.

You squealed as he tickled you on the sides, on your knee, and his hands crept up on your neck.

“Jaaaaaay! Stop that!” You said in between panting, getting tired from laughing. You were pushing him away, but he easily overpowered you with his strength.

“No, Essie, I don’t want to! Say the magic word,” he said while staring at you with all his might.

Time slowed, and you took in how intent he was on making you say the magic word – what was it, anyway?

“Please?” You breathed, returning the stare he gave you. “Please, darling,” you tried again, your voice breathier than usual.

He loosened his hold on you, but he didn’t let go. “Do I need to repeat myself?” You asked, your hands ready to untangle yourself from him.

“Darling, you make me feel conflicted,” he said with the most painful expression on his face. It was a mixture of sadness and struggle, a combination that was indeed painful to see on anyone.

“Are you for real, Jaehyun?” You raised an eyebrow, hoping it masked how shocked you were with his words. You hoped you sounded scandalized to make him stop what he was doing.

“Essie, I like you. A lot. It pains me that I was never able to make a move on you first,” he said, tilting his body toward yours. He now had a loving expression on his face, making your heart melt.

“But why now?” You could feel the tears pooling at the corner of your eyes.

Come to think of it, Jaehyun was always nice when you hung out with Johnny before. He never teased you – he was actually very sweet and was always on your side. There were times he held your hand, and you let him since you two were good friends.

And how could you forget that he used to kiss your cheek every time you said your farewell? It was not just your cheeks touching – he really pressed his lips lightly on your cheek.

But best friends trump good friends, and eventually, you weren’t able to maintain your closeness once you spent more time with Johnny instead.

“I’m sorry, Essie. I don’t know what to do,” he slowly unhooked his arms on you, “I’m such a fool for coming here. Now I’m confused,” he ran his hands through his hair and looked distressed.

“I’m sorry too, Jay. But if you must know, I like you a lot too,” you said while fiddling with your thumbs.

“Essie, you’re making me more confused,” He sounded annoyed now. “I don’t want to ruin your relationship with John, I know how much he loves you.”

“But does he know that you…like me too?” As much as it made you cringe, you just had to ask him that.

His answer surprised you. “He doesn’t, and I intend to keep it that way.”

This was a plot twist that made your love life more complicated – even though you already have Johnny, you had Mark trying his best to woo you, and now Jaehyun has joined ‘the group chat’, as the kids would say.

“So, what do you plan to do then?” The question came out of your mouth without any thinking, which you now regret.

“Do you want to sin with me?” The way he delivered it sent shivers down your spine. It felt as if you were talking to the devil, only he was clad in a sweater and black jeans.

From that day until the following week, you and Jaehyun had your trysts.

–––

FIN

The Pull of You

Brace yourselves, guys – this shit’s heavy. I wrote this during a moment of depression, so expect heavy themes here. 

This piece is connected to Conflicted, so if you want to know what happens after that, then click that link below.

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: The aftermath of Essie’s affair with Jaehyun complicates her dynamic with her house mates, most especially her boyfriend Johnny. That’s already a given, but how do they resolve this? Or will they ever do? 

POV: 3rd person. 

Word count: 3,000 + words 

Warning: Aside from the drama and angst this piece exudes, there is also a mention of cutting here. Please don’t do it, kids. Don’t be like who’s still trying to recover from it. And of course, smoking again if you’re sensitive to it. 

Recommended listening: If you concluded that I’ll recommend The National here, then you are correct. I listened to ‘The Pull of You’ and ‘You Have Your Soul With You’ repeatedly while writing this. Lyrics from the song are in bold and italic. 

–––

The affair ruined her. Essie slowly descended into madness, her conscience guilty, and her thoughts spiraling out of control with a million thoughts.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t afford to see Jaehyun behind Johnny’s back. It lasted for a week, and she had to tell her lover that she had to end this.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can continue this anymore,” she sobbed, “I want to love you both, but I can only love one of you. I should only love one of you.”

“I know, mon amour. I understand,” was Jaehyun’s reply as he rubbed her back. “I know this wasn’t meant to last long, I know that you love him more than me.”

“I’m so sorry, Jay. I really am. Maybe in another lifetime, we could’ve been,” she sobbed even harder this time.

Jaehyun spent the whole afternoon comforting her and gave her his last kiss before they went their separate ways. “I have no regrets, I am happy that we became together for a moment,” he whispered.

Essie didn’t reply, she was already a mess that couldn’t be fixed.

\\\

In the next few weeks, Johnny noticed that his girlfriend wasn’t acting her usual self. She didn’t talk to him that much and was always holed up in her room.

Although he did his best to be the most caring and patient boyfriend a girl could ever have, Essie wasn’t responding to any of his sweet gestures. He hadn’t heard her speak more than a few words. She didn’t even greet him or say thanks.

As much as he wanted to confront her, he knew that he couldn’t handle the sight of her crumbling in front of him. He let her be for the moment, hoping for the day that she will be back to her usual jolly self.

However, he felt hurt when he saw her conversing with Mark. She looked fine as he saw them talking in her bedroom, as there was a small space open in her door that he could peek through. The younger guy was listening intently to her story, and he observed how she was more animated compared to the past few weeks.

When Johnny saw Mark emerge out of Essie’s bedroom, he wasn’t able to ask his other housemate what he was doing there. Mark walked away with his head bowed, as if he was avoiding any conversation with his hyung. This left Johnny standing on the hallway with his mouth agape, his eyes fixated on the closed door of his girlfriend’s room.

What could have he done to deserve this?

\\\

Mark felt conflicted about the stories that his dear Essie noona told him. He wasn’t sure if he was the right person to listen to this kind of story, but he had to now that she and her boyfriend weren’t on speaking terms lately.

Essie told Mark of her affair with Jaehyun. It only lasted for a week, but she felt horrible that she was able to do it. She never expected that she would end up like her father. She should not tolerate cheating since that was what tore her family apart.

“I love them both, Mark,” she wiped a tear from her eye, “but I don’t know how I can tell John about this. I don’t know what to do if he leaves me. And I don’t know if I can pursue a relationship with Jaehyun further now.”

He just held her hand and squeezed it, not knowing what to say. “I’m sorry if I told you this, but I needed someone to talk to. This might be a lot for you to process, but what do you think I should do?”

When he saw how wrecked she looked, his heart ached. “I…I don’t know. I really don’t know,” were the only words he said before Essie cried for the hundredth time that week.

\\\

Essie didn’t come out of her room the whole day. That worried Johnny because even if they weren’t on speaking terms, she still slipped out of her room to eat (lately it’s only once a day) or use the bathroom.

It was already late in the evening, and the itch to confront her resurfaced. He took a deep breath and walked toward the landing where his keys were. He had the key to all of the rooms, hers included. It was time to take action.

He opened the door to her room and saw her bundled in her comforter. He almost dropped his phone when he noticed that there were bloodstains on it.

He rushed to her side and saw that the blood came from her wrists. They were still bleeding. He extracted a pair of scissors on her bed and threw it away. She had hurt herself.

“Maaaaark!” He shouted, trying not to let panic get to him. “Mark Lee, come here immediately, please!”

The younger guy peeked into Essie’s room and was shocked to see the bloodied comforter. “I’ll call 911,” he said, immediately fishing his phone out of his pocket to call the hotline.

Johnny unwrapped Essie from her beddings and examined the wounds she created. They were a bit fresh, and they still bled. He noticed that she wasn’t breathing regularly anymore.

He was crying throughout the ordeal – the medical staff had to calm him down, and Mark had to step up to take care of the situation.

He didn’t know why Essie ended up like this. She wasn’t talking to him for weeks. He gave her space, and he tried his best not to be mad at her. He was a kind, understanding, and caring partner. But she was being selfish, and it broke his heart day by day.

Now, he might lose her because he wasn’t strong enough to break her walls.

Is this how I lose it? Everything at once?

\\\

Essie’s thoughts continued to consume her.

I don’t deserve to be loved.

I have been a bad partner.

I have become like my father.

I am a whore, a slut, a bitch, or any derogatory names you could call me.

I am not worthy of Johnny’s love, nor Jaehyun’s.

I am the most selfish person on this planet.

I deserve to die.

She had no energy to get out of bed or even eat properly. She only had one meal a day, the portions becoming smaller each day. The last thing she ate was a single cracker.

As she buried herself deeper into her sheets, the desire to cut returned. Wordlessly, she got up from the bed and grabbed the nearest scissors she could find.

She shut her eyes and dragged it across her wrist first to see if it was sharp enough. She saw thin lines etched onto her skin, with one of them oozing a prick of blood.

She tried again, this time harder and slower. She let out a small grunt as she felt the metal digging into her skin. She felt the blood gush out, which was both a painful yet wonderful experience. She did it again to her other wrist albeit shakily, for the blood was making her lose her control.

They were thick gashes on each wrist, and she gave a faint smile at her work.

I wish all these thoughts would stop now, she thought as she closed her eyes. She felt faint, which she hoped would lead to her losing her conscience until she never gets it back.

\\\

When Essie opened her eyes, she was at the hospital. It was a sight she never thought she’d see or experience. There were bandages on her wrists, and she felt a twinge of pain when she tried to move her hands.

“You’re awake,” a voice beside her croaked. It was Johnny, who looked worse for wear. She tried to say anything, but her mouth was too dry. She settled on looking at him instead, observing the dark bags under his eyes and his messy hair.

“Do you need anything?” She shook her head. “Water?” Another shake. “Come on, baby, please,” he said, on the verge of tears.

She could only stare at him, her mind still processing everything that happened for the past few weeks.

“Why won’t you talk to me still? What did I do? I want to know if I hurt you in any way, so I know how I could make it up to you,” he started, tears falling from his eyes.

“You’ve been talking to Mark, but not me. Are you hiding something from me?”

Those words made her heart pound loudly against her chest, and she tried not to break from her poker face.

“Baby, whatever it is, please. Let me know. I’ll understand. Whatever you did, I’ll forgive you. Just talk to me.”

Still, Essie would not budge. She just stared at him crying, unable to say anything for fear of him breaking further than her.

I cheated, John. With your best friend. I’m sorry.

A tear slipped from her eye, which Johnny didn’t notice as he continued to weep in front of her.

There was a knock on the door, but that didn’t stop him from crying. The door creaked open, revealing Mark in his trademark baseball cap.

He was about to say anything but noticed that his hyung was close to bawling.

“I guess I’ll be back later,” he mumbled, about to close the door. That was when Essie found her voice back, even if it was hoarser than usual. “Mark,” she started, “please stay.”

The younger guy was surprised at this, and he re-entered the room. Johnny’s eyes widened that his girlfriend wanted to talk to his other roommate instead of him.

“Sorry, Johnny hyung, but can you excuse us for a second?” Mark whispered, still not making eye contact with him.

“I can’t believe this,” Johnny muttered, glaring at his housemates for a second before storming out of the room.

He went out of the hospital to calm himself down, and for the first time in ages, he lighted a stick.

\\\

Everything came back to her once she started speaking to Mark. The younger guy updated her on what happened, and he saw how her face was coming back to life with various expressions. Her eyebrows knitted, her mouth frowned, and her eyes expressed the most emotion of them all.

“Mark, I still don’t know what to do. I can’t talk to him, not like this,” she murmured, looking at her bandaged wrists.

“You have to now, Essie noona. Please. It’s breaking him too. If you don’t want him to leave, you have to do it,” he said, softly tapping her arm.

She cried again, and Mark took this opportunity to excuse himself and find Johnny so the lovers could finally talk.

\\\

It took Mark an hour to find his hyung. He tried calling, but he wouldn’t answer. He had to resort to calling their other friends. Eventually, he found him through Yuta. “He’s at that coffee house with the nice smoking area,” the Japanese guy said before he hung up.

It was the place that he went to with his girlfriend. Mark knew that Essie smoked, but she was trying to cut it down. He didn’t know if she had quit, but that didn’t matter now.

As he went to the smoking area, he saw Johnny blowing a smoke ring. “Johnny hyung,” he approached the guy carefully, afraid that he might hurt him due to what he witnessed earlier.

“Mark,” the older guy said harshly and even blew smoke at his face. “What brings you here?”

“I’m taking you back to the hospital. She needs you now,” he took a seat beside him and twiddled his thumbs out of nervousness.

“What makes you think she needs me? She only talks to you now! Tell me,” Johnny said as he put out the cigarette, “are you two in a secret relationship?”

Mark shook his head vigorously. “No, hyung. She already made her choice when she decided to be in a relationship with you. I will never do that to you, to her, or anyone.” His voice was firm.

“Then, why is she talking only to you? I’m always here for her. Mark, please tell me, what’s wrong? Why isn’t she talking to me?” The older guy was in tears again, his sadness and frustration about the situation coming up again.

“It’d be best that she explain it, to be honest. I don’t even know what to say,” Mark rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Please, Johnny hyung. Have a bit more patience. She’ll talk.”

“I’m doing the best that I could, Mark Lee. I hope I still have some patience in me left,” were Johnny’s last words before he went back to the hospital.

\\\

“Baby, you said you needed to talk to me?”

The six-footer was now seated beside his love, who looked more alive than he saw her earlier. She nodded, opening her palm and moving it toward his direction.

He took this as a cue to hold her hand, which he did. He was gentle in picking it up, slowly slipping in his fingers in between hers.

“Can you tell me why you hurt yourself? Can you tell me everything why you haven’t been talking to me in ages?” His voice cracked as he asked.

“I…I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I really am. I am truly, deeply sorry.”

“I know it’s easy to say I forgive you, but I don’t know if I can accept it just yet. You really hurt me,” Johnny’s grip tightened. “But I know you still have a lot to explain. Can you start?”

She looked at him with teary eyes, slowly untangling her hand from him. She didn’t know where to start. She didn’t know if she could say what she has practiced in her mind while she was waiting for him to return.

I had only one thing to do and I couldn’t do it yet.

///

It took some time for Essie and Johnny to repair their relationship. She wasn’t able to tell him what she really wanted to say when she was at the hospital. They just held hands and cried.

Once she was discharged, Johnny was hands-on in taking care of her. He didn’t leave her alone – he accompanied her to the bathroom, he slept beside her, and he was there for her when she had to go out of the house.

In one instance, they had to return to the hospital for a follow-up check-up and an appointment with the psychiatrist. They held hands as they went to the car silently. Essie didn’t talk that much, and if she did, she only gave single statements.

Johnny’s patience was wearing thin, but he prayed that the Lord give him more. He didn’t want to lose the love of his life, even if she still hasn’t told him everything yet.

From all the things that she said, he only knew that she was apologetic for everything.

Something's leaving me behind

It's just a feeling in my mind

\\\

It was during their ride to the hospital that Essie finally cracked.

“I’m sorry that I broke your heart,” she wept, looking away from him.

It had started raining outside, and they were stuck in traffic.

“I already forgive you for that,” he squeezed her hand. “Stop apologizing so much. I got it.” He bent forward to look at her face in the car window and saw that her eyes were red and puffy.

“It’s more than what you think, John. I really am sorry.”

He let go of her clammy hand and placed it on the steering wheel. Could it be?

A moment of awkward silence enveloped the car. They weren’t listening to any of their playlists lately. Music took a backseat in their lives as Johnny was intent to fix things with Essie.

“Who did you do it with?” His tone was serious, making the hairs on the back of Essie’s neck stand up.

“Jay,” she whispered as she sat up straight. “It was Jay.” She repeated with certainty.

“Jeong Jaehyun,” Johnny growled his best friend’s name. It made sense to him now. No wonder he wasn’t talking to him despite leaving multiple voice calls and private messages. “How dare he do this to me? But how could you too, Essie?” The instant change of tone of his voice made her heart ache.

It was one of the most painful things that she heard him say, along with the pleas that he said when she was at the hospital.

“I’m really sorry, John. There are no excuses for what I did. I gave in to temptation when I could’ve avoided it…” Essie’s voice cracked at each word she said, and she was in tears again.

“How long did it last?” Johnny’s question cut through her like a knife. He wasn’t dilly-dallying around.

“For a week. I couldn’t take it anymore…” She distracted herself by studying her hands since she didn’t want to cry all day. She knew she would cry more during her appointment with the psychiatrist.

“Essie…” He breathed, his eyes intent on the traffic sign. It was still red, and he was wishing that it would change to green.

“I’m sorry, Johnny. My sincerest apologies. I am remorseful for what I did. Please forgive me more for what I have done,” she said, taking a glance at his face.

Even if it pained her to see his reaction, she had to know how he felt.

He had an inscrutable expression as he continued to drive. Of course, it hurt him that his best friends cheated on him. Jeong Jaehyun, a man he considered his brother, had an affair with the woman he wanted to marry and have a family with.

He had to right to be angry about this. But he didn’t feel it right now. Instead, he felt defeated. Deflated. Depressed.

His love for Essie was too much that he wanted her to get better soon so they could fix their lives together.

Processing anger can take a toll on someone, and he didn’t want to feel that just yet. He would get angry later on. That could wait.

He took a look at Essie, who has now fallen asleep. He gave her a small smile before focusing his attention back on the road.

We're connected by a thread

If we ever get far apart

I'll still feel the pull of you

–––

FIN

P.S. I hope you didn’t make a drinking game out of all the times I mentioned hyung here!

Wicked Games

In other words, it is the start of something sinful. Say what? If you’ve been following along, then you might have an idea of what this post will be about. 

As a clue, here’s Jaehyun radiating boyfriend vibes for you. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: This marks the first official day of Essie and Jaehyun’s affair. Need I say more? 

POV: 2nd person still. Do you guys like this POV better or a 3rd one? I suddenly got curious about your opinion. Please let me know! 

Word count: 1,100 + words

Warning: This is a cheating story, so expect some loose morals here. 

Recommended listening: The song mentioned shares the same title as this piece. However, I prefer Coeur de Pirate’s cover because it sounds more tragic than the original one by The Weeknd. 

–––

Although you loved hanging out with Johnny to listen to different kinds of music, it was a whole new different experience with Jaehyun.

This was the first official day of your tryst with him, and you saw him before you headed home from work. He picked you up a few blocks away from your office, and he took you to his apartment, which he shared with Taeyong.

Since his roommate was out of the country with Mark, he had the place all to himself. It was the perfect opportunity to have a rendezvous, and he even made some preparations.

Once you opened the door to his house, there were fairy lights stringed almost everywhere and soft music was playing. There was a wine bottle on the coffee table, along with two glasses.

“Wow, this is so romantic,” you whispered, looking around his place. You love the industrial-meets-farmhouse look of their home – red brick walls always get you.

As you brushed your fingers against the brick’s texture, he took out some food from the fridge. Upon closer inspection, they were random cheeses and cold cuts.

“That’s so classy of you, Jay,” you said, hovering over his figure as he sliced some brie on a wooden platter. “Treating a girl to some wine and cheese with good music playing in the background? What else are we going to do?”

“Let’s see if we go beyond that, shall we?” He purred, winking at you as he started slicing some gorgonzola.

You helped him prepare the cheese and cold cuts platter, which he appreciated. “I don’t know what cheese and cold cuts you want to eat, so I bought a lot at the grocery the other day,” he admitted, flashing you his trademark boyish grin.

“That’s thoughtful of you, darling. Thank you for considering what I’d like,” you said, squeezing his hand after you were done slicing the last slab of cheese.

“Of course, anything for my darling Essie,” he replied, taking your other hand and holding it.

That line sounded familiar – Johnny tells you that a lot whenever you thanked him.

You let go of his hand abruptly and looked at the ground. You felt ashamed that you remembered your boyfriend at this time.

“Essie, what’s wrong?” Jaehyun took your hands again, with one of them tilting your chin to look at him.

When he saw that you looked distressed, he kissed your forehead. “Tell me what’s bothering you,” he whispered, his lips tickling your ears.

“I remember him,” you said softly, intertwining your hands with his. “And I’m sorry about that.”

He remained silent, but he didn’t let go of you. You observed him from the corner of your eye and saw that he was deep breathing. You were silently counting how many he would do – he lasted until five – and then he spoke up.

“I know what we’re doing is bad, darling,” he started, looking at your eyes, “but I also want to be with you.”

His piercing stare made your heart skip a beat, and maybe it made you a bit wet. “I want you to forget about him when you’re with me,” he continued, now placing his hands on your waist.

“Make me,” you challenged him as a haughty smirk graced your features. “I dare you to make me forget about him,” you repeated with conviction.

“Oh yes, I will,” he said, pulling you closer to him. “My name will be the only one you’ll be speaking of.” With that, he crashed his lips on yours, and you reciprocated with the same passion.

\\\

After making out at the kitchen, you and Jaehyun went to the couch. You ate, drank, and talked about everything. You were amused to see his different facial expressions – you were so used to him looking serious.

He laughed at your jokes, he made cute faces when you teased him, and he gave you the sexiest stare that you ever saw in your life.

But of course, your favorite part of hanging out with him was the music. It was one of the things you were passionate about, and you loved hearing his thoughts on it.

At that moment, you forgot you were someone else’s. All that mattered was that Jeong Jaehyun was cuddling with you on the couch, his hand stroking your thigh. Your arms were looped around his neck and from time to time, you kissed him on his neck, his jaw, and eventually, his lips.

He was enjoying the attention you were giving him, and he did his best to please you. He stroked your hair, he rubbed your back affectionately, and he kissed you on the lips repeatedly.

Coeur de Pirate’s cover of ‘Wicked Games’ was playing in the background when your kisses intensified. Tongues clashed against each other, and your hands roamed all over your bodies.

Just tell me you love me

I’ll give you what I need, I’ll give you all you need

Even though you don’t love me

The song hit close to Jaehyun. He knew that you were with Johnny, but he still wanted to take a chance with you. Without any warning, he carried you to his bedroom.

You didn’t say anything. You already knew where this was heading. You accepted that trysts like this will end with you two fucking.

As he laid you on the bed, you saw in his eyes that he was asking for permission. “Yes darling, do it,” you murmured. Within seconds, both of your clothes were discarded, and everything became a blur in your mind.

\\\

It was already late in the evening when you were done. You weren’t able to text Johnny where you were. Having sex with Jaehyun was amazing – he really knew how to please.

You walked naked back to the couch and looked at your phone. There were 10 missed calls and 5 text messages from Johnny.

You replied to his latest message – Baby, I’m worried where are you please answer me – with Sorry, I was busy with work. I’ll come home late. Sorry, I worried you and hit send.

“He’s looking for you,” Jaehyun surprised you when you saw him at the kitchen doorway, only wearing a pair of track pants. “He also texted me.”

You noted that he sounded disappointed, but he knew that he couldn’t do anything. “I know. I guess this wraps up our rendezvous for today,” you said, grabbing a pillow on the couch to cover your body.

“And I hope we see each other tomorrow again,” were the last words both of you said before you left his apartment.

–––

FIN

Snippets from an Affair

The title already told you what you need to know, so before you continue, here’s Jaehyun for you to look at in that iconic suit he wore in the ‘Kick It’ MV. 

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 

CHAROT! Anyway, you know the drill:

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Take a glimpse of Essie and Jaehyun’s affair from the second day until the fifth. I’m not sure if I’ll consider these as completely canon, but I might write a mini-series on their rendezvous soon. 

POV: 2nd person again.

Word count: 1,300 + words

Warning: Baby’s revealing her first smut, and then another. Well, sort of. But there’s smut here, so you can skip that if you’re uncomfortable. 

Recommended listening: I mentioned two songs: The Internet’s ‘Give It Time’ and The Beatles’ ‘And I Love Her’. I think both will be Jaehyun-approved too! 

–––

When insomnia hits you, Jaehyun was one of the people you always called. You were all alone in the apartment, and you needed someone to talk to.

Good thing that your now-lover was there to keep you company since your boyfriend was out of town for a gig. Mark was abroad with Taeyong for a special project, leaving Jaehyun all by himself in his apartment as well.

It was the second day of your affair, and he decided to drive around the area after picking you up in your area. While one of his hands was on the steering wheel, the other held your hand. You chatted about everything as he drove, your eyes moving from him to the scenery outside.

Late-night drives made you feel warm despite the freezing air conditioning inside the car. You wished you could always do this with him, but you know that you couldn’t afford this with your situation.

“Darling, look. There’s a new café open there,” he pointed at a small but brightly-lit shop at the corner of a new building. “Want to try their offerings?”

You squeezed his hand in affirmation, which he stroked to mean that he got your message. As he parked the car nearby, he noticed that you kept on wrapping your arms around yourself. After all, you just wore a thin long-sleeved shirt and a mini skirt.

“Essie, take this,” he said softly, removing the hoodie that he wore. You took it wordlessly and slipped it on. “It looks good on you,” he commented, stroking the material of his jacket that seemed a bit baggy on you.

“Thanks for letting me borrow your hoodie, mon amour,” you said, tugging at the strings at the neck of his jacket. “I wasn’t prepared for a late-night drive like this.”

“Well, you should next time. And I don’t mind you wearing my jacket.” He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a hug, which you reciprocated.

You didn’t mind that you hugged in the middle of the street at 3 in the morning. You stayed in that position for a bit until you felt him shuffling. You saw that he got his phone out of his jeans pocket and took a photo of you in an intimate position.

“Must you always take a picture every time?” You asked, amused at his boldness to take a picture of you together.

“Yes, mon amour,” he said, smiling. “Hey, I like the sound of that. I’ll call you that from now on.” He led you inside the new café wherein you were the only customers they had.

\\\

You never expected that your tryst with Jaehyun will turn out like this on the third day.

Playing in the background was The Internet’s ‘Give It Time’ as he planted kisses all over your body. You were in a swanky hotel room, and he had already stripped you down to your underwear. You wore your best lingerie as he took you out to a fancy dinner after work. He wore a suit and bow tie, while you wore a red dress with a high slit. It drove him crazy, and you felt his hands caressing your thigh throughout the dinner.

Now that you were back in your room, he went loose. Although he was already whispering the dirty things he’ll do to you in the elevator, nothing could compare to the beast he unleashed as he threw you on the bed and undressed you within seconds.

“I want to do you so bad, darling,” he moaned as he caressed your breasts. “Please,” you mouthed, your hands playing with the collar of his shirt. “May I?”

When you heard him say yes, you were quick to unbutton his shirt and his jacket. “I want to leave this on,” you purred as you tightened the bow tie on his neck. He let out a strangled cry when you tightened it a bit too much, making you bite your lip in excitement.

You unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, leaving him only in his boxer briefs. His bulge grew bigger when you used your teeth in pulling down his underwear, eliciting a loud moan from him. “Darling, be careful,” he hissed, berating you for using your teeth.

After all, the first time you did this, he was hurt when you grazed your teeth on his member. But you always thought that was sexy and decided to try again.

“Sorry, but I can’t help it.” You were on your knees, and you licked the tip of his member gently. He seemed to enjoy it until he grabbed your hair forcefully and pushed your head closer to his dick.

“Don’t be a tease, and take it all in,” he grunted, moving your head as you tried not to gag. He was getting bigger in your mouth, and you closed your eyes to relish the moment.

As the rhythmic slapping of his cock against your mouth continued, you peeked that his legs were becoming unsteady. “I’m about to cum, darling,” he said, his voice shaky from too much stimulation. You shut your eyes and anticipated his release. When it did come, you gulped it all in.

He slowly took out his dick from your mouth and watched you lick the remaining cum from your hand. “I’ve got enough protein now,” you giggled as you looked at him straight in the eyes. His sultry façade faded as he saw your reaction, and he bent down to your level to kiss your forehead.

“I’ll give you more of that, mon amour,” he said as he carried you to the bed. “I’m going to fill you up with my loving.”

\\\

In the week that you and Jaehyun had trysts, you realized how much of a boyfriend material he is on the fourth day.

As you cuddled on the couch at his place, he suddenly sang you an old love song. It was one of your favorites: ‘And I Love Her’ by The Beatles.

He looked at you in the eyes, arms wrapped around your waist, as he sang the song wholeheartedly.

She gives me everything

And tenderly

The kiss my lover brings

She brings to me

And I love her

You couldn’t help but smile at how romantic he was being and felt your cheeks flush as he swayed you in his embrace.

A love like ours

Could never die

As long as I

Have you near me

You poked the dimples that appeared on his face as he continued singing, which prompted him to squeeze you tighter.

Bright are the stars that shine

Dark is the sky

I know this love of mine

Will never die

And I love her

He kissed your forehead after he wrapped up the song. “I love you so much, darling,” he whispered.

You could only kiss his nose in response since you were afraid that you were falling hard for him as well.

\\\

Jaehyun never fails to mention that he gets extremely sweaty whenever you’re together. You remembered it the most when you fucked – you never wanted to call it making love since you knew you were sinning every time you did it – and you just wanted to dry him off with a towel.

“Mon amour, does it bother you?”

He asked after a round of sex on the fifth day of your affair. “What do you mean?” You tilted your body toward him, and he grabbed your forearm.

“I mean, look at me, darling,” he gestured at his naked sweaty body with his free hand, “I’m bothered by this. Aren’t you?”

You took the towel on the bedside table and wiped him on his neck first, then dabbed it down his torso. “I am, but I don’t want to think about that when you’re ramming your dick inside me, you know?” You chuckled, now wiping his arms.

“Sorry for that stupid question,” he laughed, grabbing the towel from you. “But I get sweaty so easily. I hope you wouldn’t be bothered by it in the long run.” He was now drying his legs with the soaked towel.

“Whoever chooses to be your partner shouldn’t be, mon cheri,” you kissed his now dry shoulder. “Because they should focus on your performance, as always.” With those words, you pinned him down and dominated the next round of sex.

–––

FIN

P.S. I wonder if you’ll get drunk every time you read their pretentious name-calling in French. Did you guys try it? 

Fling Things

Let me introduce you to some fling things! Did you read that to the tune of ‘Kick It’? If you did, then you are a real NCTzen! 

Kidding aside, here’s a lighthearted story with the special participation of Wong Yuk-hei, also known as Lucas from WayV and Super M! 

Lest you forget, this is predominantly a Johnny (and Jaehyun and Mark) fanfiction blog, so read on to know how Lucas gets into the picture this time. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: Like a page taken out of a rom-com storyline, Essie has a one-night stand with Lucas, and Johnny and Jaehyun aren’t happy about it. Hilarity ensues, as always. 

POV: 2nd person still. I wrote a lot of stuff last year, can you tell? 

Word count: 1,200 + words 

Warning: It’s a bit steamy, but not too much that it’s foggy. Get that? Otherwise, it’s just good old fun with the boys. 

–––

Before you and Johnny became official, you had a couple of flings with other guys. One of them was with Lucas, whom you had a one-night stand with. It was during a party that you ended up with the head-turning Hong Konger. 

The party was to celebrate someone’s birthday – you were sure it was for the Aquarian group of Doyoung, Johnny, and Jaehyun – and somehow, you ended up on the couch with Lucas. 

Both of you were tipsy already, with him affectionately rubbing your thigh, and you caressing his arm. You were talking too close to each other that nothing else mattered – if you weren’t that drunk, you might have noticed that Johnny and Jaehyun were glaring at your interaction with Lucas. 

Everything happened so fast, and before you knew it, you were in bed with the younger guy. You could only remember snippets of the deed, which were too steamy to even recall in detail. 

You woke up around 7 a.m. and found that Lucas was still beside you, scrolling through his phone. He was still topless, exposing his neck and arms that were almost filled with your love bites. You flushed at the memory of yesterday’s debauchery and decided to get up.

But before you could even do that, Lucas pinned you back on the bed. “Hey baby, morning,” he said in his trademark sultry voice. You gave him a weak smile, which he responded to with his awkward laughter. 

“You were great last night,” he started, leaning closer to you, “and I mean it.” He eyed the marks you left him. “Uh, thanks? You were great too,” you replied, starting to relax in your current position. 

He pecked you on the lips before he got up, revealing that he was already wearing his underwear. “Want to get breakfast?” He asked as he rummaged on the chair across the bed for his clothes. 

“Sure thing, but let me wash up first.” You held the blanket around you as you stood up, now shy of your naked body. 

“Okay, I’ll just be here,” Lucas winked at you as he slipped on his jeans. 

\\\

Breakfast with Lucas didn’t feel anything special. It was like eating with a friend – he cracked a lot of jokes while you tried your best not to spit out your coffee from laughter. 

He was a nice boy, but you know that he’s not the one for you. Blame it on the alcohol that you were able to do something you thought you would never do. 

He pecked your cheek before you left his car. “Let me know if you want to hang out, okay? I’ve put my number in there,” he tapped at your phone, “and you can chat me up too.” 

You nodded, bewildered that he was able to unlock your phone and put his number in your contacts. The boy might be more into you than you thought. 

Even if it has already been a couple of hours since you two did it, you still have the post-sex pain. 

You hobbled towards the door barefoot since you know you wouldn’t be able to walk in heels. As you fumbled for the keys in your bag, you heard footsteps approaching the door. 

Johnny, who was in a baggy shirt and sweatpants, opened the door for you. “Hey, wouldn’t you look at that,” he said, leaning against the doorway. “Baby’s got a fun time last night, and we weren’t invited!” His sarcastic tone annoyed you, but at the same time, you also felt guilty. 

You weren’t able to notify the guys that you were still at the venue of the party, in one of the rooms having your way with one of the most handsome men you’ve ever known. Aren’t all of your guy friends?

“Hey, I’m sorry,” you croaked. “I didn’t mean to not text or call you guys but…uh, things happened. And I didn’t expect that to happen. Not in a million years. I don’t know what came over me–––”

Johnny cut you off by pulling you into the house. “Stop blabbering and come inside,” he whispered, his hand still on your wrist as he dragged you to the sofa. 

You followed him silently, and he even patted a spot on the couch for you to sit on. Once you were seated, he flicked your nose. “You deserve that for making us worry,” he said before taking a seat beside you.

“But I said I was sorry!” You grumbled, rubbing the spot he hit. “Please don’t do that again, Essie. Jaehyun and I were worried about you, but especially me.” With that, you turned around and saw that one of his best friends walked toward you with a cup of coffee.

“Looks like you need one,” he said as he handed the steaming cup to you. You thanked him and carefully took a sip. It tasted just the way you like it – with milk and two packets of sugar. 

“Hey, you know my blend,” you gave an approving look at Jaehyun, who rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Because I’ve observed you enough to know what you like,” he mumbled. 

You could only look at the boys in shock. Jaehyun usually didn’t act this flustered, and Johnny’s concern was bordering on anger. You set the coffee on the table and explained yourself again, this time more confidently. 

“I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to message or call you guys. I know you were concerned because I had too much to drink, and I was flirting with someone…” You softened your voice at the end, embarrassed of admitting that you had a rendezvous last night. 

“Yes dear, you were with Lucas. The young sex god. You got pulled into his charms,” Johnny said dryly while rolling his eyes. “You were too weak to resist it,” Jaehyun piped in, folding his arms in disappointment. 

“I didn’t expect that too, honest! But anyway, now I’m home safe and sound, I’m really sorry I made you guys worry. What can I do to make it up to you guys?” You pleaded, giving your best aegyo to appease them. 

Both guys looked at each other, deep in thought on what you can do to make them forgive you. It took them a moment until both of them said the same thing.

 “Be my assistant for the week.” 

“Hey, I said it first!” Johnny grumbled, glaring at the guy standing beside him. 

“No, I was the one who said it first!” Jaehyun rebutted, raising an eyebrow at his friend. 

They bickered for a moment, and you shook your head at their immaturity. 

“Well, I guess you two should settle that first. I’m going to take a long bath, and let me know who the winner is,” you said, standing up with the cup of coffee.

“Let’s settle this with rock-paper-scissors, so we know who the winner is now!” Johnny screeched, getting into a competitive stance. Jaehyun mirrored him, and you watched them play the most intense rock-paper-scissors game ever. 

The taller guy won with paper against Jaehyun’s rock. The latter drooped his shoulders in defeat while Johnny pumped his fist in the air. “I win! Better prepare yourself, girl, I’m going to tire you out!” He said, pointing a finger at you for emphasis. 

“Yeah, whatever. I’m going to rest for now,” you took a sip of your coffee before walking away from the two guys. 

Sometimes, being surrounded by more guys makes things more complicated for you. All you ever wanted was to be with that one special guy, but life has to make things challenging for you. 

Is this a conquest you should continue, or should you stop now?

–––

FIN

A Kiss for Luck

As mentioned before, I don’t write in chronological order. Here’s another example of that in this Essie and Jaehyun piece. 

This one’s also dedicated to @gyuschilli, which I will discuss more in the summary. 

And how can I not forget to add an adorable GIF of Jeong Jaehyun for your pleasure? 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :) 

–––

Summary: This story was inspired by this tweet that @gyuschilli sent me, and I thought it might tie in to their affair as well. Consider this as the main event of their fourth day, even if I wrote a snippet of it on a previous post. 

POV: 3rd person as this is one of my most recent writing. 

Word count: 1,000 + words 

Warning: As always, they are a horny bunch. Nothing smutty, just a bit of sexiness here. 

–––

“Yoon Oh, what’s up?”

She never called him his real name unless she was serious. Jeong Jaehyun looked at Essie Park, who was rubbing circles on his back. They were hanging out at the couch in her apartment, which she shared with two of their friends. One of them happened to be her boyfriend, who was abroad at the moment. The same could be said for the other one, who was with Jaehyun’s housemate for a special project. In short, they had their apartments all to their selves.

“It’s just that…” he started, looking at anything than her worried face, “I might go out of the country too in a week or so. I’ve been offered a project, just like Mark and Taeyong. It's a solo one, and I might not be back for a couple of weeks.”

This made her lean back against the couch and place her hands on her lap. “Oh, why are you all leaving one at a time?” She asked in a small voice.

“That’s what my manager told me, mon amour. I thought that this project wouldn’t push through until next year, and I was shocked to hear this news earlier.”  

“Oh, I see,” Essie scrutinized her fingers as she waited for Jaehyun’s response. “I’m sorry about that,” She felt him move closer to her, “but we still have a couple of days to enjoy each other’s company before I leave?”

When she looked up at him, his lips were immediately on hers.

Ah, it was already the fourth day of their affair. They drove to the beach, ate good food, and fucked as much as they could for the past few days. Hearing that he would have to fly for a project next week broke Essie a bit, but she was also relieved deep inside since she could still detach herself from him.

If she took the time to reflect, then she would realize how much this is hurting her. She knew she loved her boyfriend, The One and Only Johnny Suh, but she could not resist temptation in the form of Jeong Jaehyun.

Both of them started as her friends, but it was the Korean-American who won her heart eventually. It was only recently that Jaehyun admitted he liked her, and as much as she didn’t want to break his heart, she had broken hers (and her boyfriend’s) for starting this affair.

When they pulled away from each other, Jaehyun buried his face on the crook of Essie’s neck. “My darling, I don’t want to leave you,” he whispered. “Not now that we’re getting to know each other better.”

“I could say the same, mon cheri,” she kissed his cheek. “I’ve always wanted to have deep conversations with you, but we never had much time, no?”

“Because you were always with Johnny hyung,” he scoffed, pulling away from her to show his sarcasm. “But that doesn’t matter right now. You are all mine,” He started to pepper her neck with kisses, which she encouraged by stroking his hair.

She closed her eyes and let him pleasure her. Once again, she will forget that she is someone else’s and that she is for him alone.

\\\

As they spent the afternoon listening to records and drinking wine, Jaehyun suddenly wore his serious look again, which concerned (but mostly bothered) Essie.

“Yoon Oh…” She wrapped her arms around his waist. “It hurts me when I see you look like that. What’s up, my sweet lover?”

“I remembered my project again. This will be the first time I’m doing something like this, so…I’m quite nervous about it.”

Although his confidence level was not as extreme as Johnny’s, Essie found it heartbreaking that Jaehyun was not feeling his best about this new endeavor.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” She looked up at him with puppy eyes, making him suppress his groan by biting his lip.

“How about…you kiss me for good luck?” He flashed his trademark dimpled smile, which she responded to by thwacking him on the shoulder.

“Seriously, Jay? Will a kiss really help you?” She folded her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at him.

“If it woke up Sleeping Beauty and turned frogs into princes, then I guess it would,” he was practically beaming at how absurd he sounded, but he hoped that she would buy it.

“Then you might turn into a frog if I kiss you then?” She readjusted her arms over her chest and moved closer to him. “I don’t want to see you turn into that.”

He wanted to roll his eyes at how their conversation was going but decided to approach his request in another way. He did his best aegyo, which involved him talking to her in a baby voice and doing a silly dance.

“Can baby get a kiss from his mommy?”

Essie had the urge to hide from secondhand embarrassment but pulled through when she saw how desperate he was for it.

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” she closed the gap between them and kissed him on the cheek. “Is that enough, mon bebe?”

He shook his head and pointed at his lips. “Isn’t my baby demanding?” she sighed.

“Come on, mon amour. Just this one, and I’ll be okay.” He puckered his lips and made kissy noises.

She gave in to his request, and he responded with such passion that it led to them making out on the couch.

It was déjà vu – didn’t this just happen a while ago? As she became lost in his kisses, the thought of him leaving her crept back in her mind.

She was conflicted once more. It is for the best that you cut this as soon as you can, her logical side told her.

No, you will never get to do this again, her emotional side lamented.

Shut the fuck up, she told both sides of her brain as she felt Jaehyun’s tongue go deeper in her mouth.

She moaned at how good it felt, and as always, they fucked.

This was becoming a routine, and she wondered if she could keep it up before he leaves or not.

–––

FIN

Housemates (Jaehyun)

Of course, I had to do my version of having Jeong Jaehyun as a housemate. Expect fluffy happenings and realizations on his part in this piece. 

As always, here’s a Jaehyun GIF for you. I just want to poke and squish his cheeks here!  

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: Like the previous ones, this story is inspired by this post. There was one item that I wasn’t able to write about, and one of the scenarios here is inspired by real life. Can you guess what that is? 

POV: This has a mix of both 2nd and 3rd POVs since I wrote them at different times. 

Word count: 2,100 + words, which is the longest I have for this series. 

Warning: Truthfully, I wrote this piece sort of a prelude to their affair, so expect that he’s quite sweet with Essie on this. 

–––

There was a time in Essie’s life that she and Jaehyun were housemates before their affair. Maybe that experience was why the guy fell for her but still didn’t do anything about it until it was too late.

Essie stayed in Jaehyun’s old place when he and Taeil were still housemates. This time, Taeil was staying with Donghyuck since they became closer over time. Not that the old roommates weren’t friends anymore; they just grew apart.

Essie and Taeil loved bonding over music and cats. Jaehyun will observe them from afar, with his trademark dimpled smile, as they played with kittens while listening to Frank Ocean.

“Are you guys hungry?” The pink-haired guy interrupted their moment, moving closer to them so they will notice his presence. “Yeah, we are!” Essie and Taeil said at the same time, which made them giggle afterward. “Aren’t you hungry too, Ying?” The girl cooed at the white kitten on her lap. “I’m sure Yang is hungry!” The guy beside her said, stroking the fur of the black kitten he now carried in his arms.

Jaehyun chuckled at his housemates before grabbing his coat. “I’ll get you your favorites, please wait for me.”

“Okay, bye! Take care!” Both voices said at the same time, along with the soft meowing of kittens.

\\\

“I can’t sleep,” Essie whined one evening when she appeared in Jaehyun’s room. The girl was dressed in men’s pajamas, which she probably swiped from Johnny.

“How can I help you sleep?” The guy asked, motioning her to come further into his room. She walked hesitantly towards the small chair beside his shelf of knick-knacks, her eyes roaming all over his room.

“Your place looks cute and cozy, it’s very you,” she commented before taking a seat on said small chair.

Jaehyun had just closed the door to his room and was now standing in front of Essie. “Thanks sweetie, that’s very thoughtful of you,” he sat across from her on the edge of his bed, “but what would you want to do now?”

She assumed a thinker’s pose – hands cradling her chin – and hummed. “Are you watching anything right now?”

“A series? Let’s see,” he got his phone and checked Netflix. “Just re-runs of ‘Friends’. Would you like to watch it with me?”

She nodded eagerly, and he set up the television. “Thanks, dude. Maybe watching a series might make me sleepy,” she mumbled as she was now seated on one part of his bed.

“No problem, my sweet Essie. I’m happy to help you out,” he said as he plopped on the space beside her as the iconic introduction of the series now played.

A few episodes in and Jaehyun noticed that the girl was yawning. “Okay, I think you’re sleepy now,” he whispered. She gave a small nod before yawning loudly. “Thanks again, Jay. Sorry if I had to crash here just so I can be sleepy.”

“Anything for you, sweetie.” He squeezed her hand, which she returned. “Just drop by when you have a problem or something.”

She got up from the bed and waved silently before leaving his room. This was one of those moments that he felt weird and warm at the same time – he was slowly falling for her.

Maybe he should stop giving her pet names? That might be the reason why he found her more attractive each day. Or maybe he’s just making an excuse because he has always been interested in her from the start.

\\\

“Good morning, honey,” Jaehyun greeted Essie, who looked like she needed more hours of sleep despite sleeping for more than the recommended 8 hours.

“Honey? Yesterday I was sweetie,” she mumbled while rubbing her eyes. “You never seem to run out of nicknames for me, eh?”

“Yup, as long as I think of anything to call you, I’ll call you that.” He said, smiling at her as he handed her the box of cereal. “Do you want anything else?”

“Milk, of course. How am I supposed to eat this without it?” Essie shook the box in front of him in annoyance.

He chuckled at her reaction and handed her a carton of milk from the fridge. “You just want some milk, okay then,” he muttered.

This got her laughing as she remembered a viral video of him studying for his English oral exams, and netizens highlighted that line as one of his iconic moments.

“Don’t you dare bring it up, honey,” he grumbled as he got a bowl and spoon for her.

“But that was really funny, Yoon Oh!”

His only response was a glare, which didn’t faze Essie at all. Instead, she burst into laughter and even slapped the table for emphasis.

\\\

“You poor baby,” Jaehyun said, brushing the strands of Essie’s hair away from her face. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this, usually I get better with meds and rest,” the girl replied, her voice a bit hoarse.

Essie got sick during the second week of her stay in Jaehyun and Taeil’s apartment. The latter was out, and it was just her and the former at home.

At first, she was just sneezing more than usual. Then, she was coughing. Soon enough, she had to wear a facemask despite her aversion to them. Jaehyun noticed that her eyes were red and watery as well.

When he decided to check on Essie a while ago, he saw that she was completely wrapped in her comforter even if the AC was on. He took matters into his own hands, and that’s why they ended up like this.

“I heard from Johnny that your mom always made you warm calamansi juice whenever you got sick,” he said as he reached for the mug on her bedside table.

She got teary-eyed as she took the mug from him. “You didn’t have to do this for me,” she said before taking a sip. “I just needed more rest, that’s all.”

“You’ll get better faster when there’s someone to take care of you.”

Essie felt her insides warm up even more with Jaehyun’s comment, and she drank more of the juice he made her.

“I also made some chicken noodle soup. Everything to get your flu out of the way, okay?” He flashed her a smile and patted her thigh.

Essie was practically burning from his touch but did her best not to show that she felt such. She smiled weakly and went back to sleep.

Despite Jaehyun’s good intentions, his actions made Essie’s temperature go higher.

“And I thought you’ll be better faster with my warm offerings,” he said the following day as he got the thermometer from her.

“I’m sorry, but as I said, I need more rest. But you can make me more of that warm calamansi juice though. Please?” She attempted to bat her eyelashes at him, which made Jaehyun giggle.

“Alright, I’ll make you more of that. I’m glad you love it though,” he said as he kissed her temple.

“Thank you, Jay. You’re the best. Your future girlfriend will be so lucky to have you,” she murmured before closing her eyes.

He took one last look at her before going to the kitchen to prepare her drink.

Yes, Essie. You are lucky to have me.

\\\

One of the things that irked you when you were roommates with Jaehyun was that he always had to put his game on loudspeaker.

You groaned as you heard the sound of machine guns, a female voice screaming ‘Victory’, and conversations between the characters of the game.

“Jay, would you turn it down a bit? I’m trying to focus here,” you said as poked your head in his room.

He was intent on killing the enemy on the screen, and it took him a couple of seconds to respond to your request. He paused the game and flashed you an apologetic smile.

“Sorry about that, I’ll just lower the volume. I like playing games with the sound on, it gets me more in the mood.”

You rolled your eyes at his answer and closed the door. You hoped that he would do what he said since even your noise-canceling headphones weren’t strong enough to block the noises of his game.

Maybe it’s about time that you replace that Bose hand-me-down from your sister.

\\\

You were surprised to see two shirts, a pair of joggers, and a hoodie that wasn't yours in your hamper.

You examined the tags and realized that these clothes belonged to Jaehyun. Your rooms were just beside each other, with your hamper placed outside your room.

Since it was just outside, it was convenient for you to dump your laundry there. And maybe he thought the same since he also did with his clothes on your hamper.

“Jay…” You started as you poked your head in his room again. He was lying on his bed scrolling through his phone. He wore his headband, a black shirt, and a pair of shorts. He looked comfortable in his position – a bit of his torso showed as the shirt had risen.

“Yeah?” He said without turning around. When you squinted your eyes to look at what he was doing, you chuckled. He was responding to tweets from friends and fans.

“May I ask why you put some of your laundries in my basket?”

This got him to stand up immediately and rush to the hamper outside your rooms. “Sorry about that, Essie,” he said, plucking out his clothes that you have now carefully folded on top of yours. “It’s just easier to dump them there than put them in my hamper inside the room.”

“Then why not just put your hamper outside then? I’m sure ours don’t look the same,” you said, peeking into his room for his basket.

Shoot, it looked like yours as well – a wicker basket with a lid and linen lining inside.

“No wonder you’ve been putting your clothes in mine,” you groaned as you dragged the basket outside. “I’ll just put a label on which one’s yours and mine, okay?”

The guy nodded, opening the lid of his hamper and dumping his laundry in. “I’m sorry, Essie. This won’t happen again.”

But of course, it still happened again even if you have put labels on your baskets. Maybe that’s just the way it is with Jaehyun – you’ll always have to segregate what’s yours and his in your respective hampers.

If you only knew that he liked to put his clothes in your basket so it could mingle with the scent of yours. It’s a little bit creepy and sweet at the same time – who knew that the heartthrob has a side like this, eh?

\\\

“I can’t sleep again.”

You said, hoping your voice was loud enough for him through the wall.

“Well, we can talk if you want. Do you want to come here?”

Jaehyun answered, his voice loud enough to penetrate through the wall.

“I’m too tired to move, dude. My legs feel like jelly from bowling, which I haven’t played in ages.” You rubbed your thighs in hopes that they feel a bit better.

You heard him chuckle first before he responded to your comment. “Well, I suppose you didn’t stretch first?”

“Ugh, I forgot about that! I’ll take note of that next time. Anyway, what’s up with you?”

“I’m trying to compose something. I’m talking to you as I sit in front of my keyboard right now.”

“Do you have any chords in mind to start it off?”

“Well, here it goes,” he said, pressing a couple of chords that sounded melancholic. “That seems fitting for an emotional song,” you commented. “Have you thought about the lyrics?”

Your conversation continued even if there was a wall separating you two. Taeil wasn’t at the apartment right now as he went home to his parents. Lately, it’s always you and Jaehyun who hung out. You missed Taeil since only the two of you loved cats, and he brought Ying and Yang home.

As you and your housemate worked on a song together, you couldn’t help but feel warm inside. The AC in your room was on, but the warmth blooming inside you rendered it almost useless. It was nice talking to Jaehyun like this. You were able to collaborate on a song together even if you didn’t have to see each other’s faces.

Before you knew it, sunlight peeked in through your curtains. “Wow, dude. We’ve been talking for what, four to five hours straight? It’s now 5 in the morning.”

“Yeah, Essie. I can’t believe it as well,” he chortled. You heard the sound of a chair being moved and took it as a cue to wrap things up.

“Thanks for talking to me, Jay. And I’m glad that I was able to help you out with your composition.” You said, now lying on your bed instead of sitting on it.

“Sure thing, anything for you. Like I always say, right?” He never seemed to stop chuckling at his words, but you didn’t let it get to you for now.

“Good night, Jaehyun.”

“Good morning, Essie.”

–––

FIN

If you guessed that having warm calamansi juice while being sick is inspired by real life, then you are correct. I miss it though! 

Day Dream

Through the help of my office mate, I was able to retrieve a copy of some of my previous writing. This is one of them, which I hope you’ll enjoy. 

To be honest, I didn’t know what I was thinking – this just happened like a daydream. Yes, the pun was definitely intended.

Here’s an edited outtake of Jaehyun from the same song that appears in their Neo Zone album. 

Mahal ko kayong lahat! :)

–––

Summary: This is inspired by Essie and Jaehyun’s steamy affair. I can’t believe I write smut for Jaehyun, but not for Johnny. How come, self? 

POV: 3rd person since this is quite new, meaning this was written pre-quarantine this year. 

Word count: 720 + words. I think this is the shortest so far? Let me get back to you on that soon. 

Warning: This is as smutty as I’m going to get for now. 

Recommended listening: Sorry if I’m going to ruin your thoughts on their song, but I did write this while listening repeatedly to it. 

–––

The longer Jaehyun and Essie went on with their trysts, the more it felt like a dream.

She lost count on what day it is – was it the third or fourth day? – as they made out on her couch.

Johnny was in Chicago while Mark was in London, so they were confident enough to do this at her apartment. Jaehyun felt that his soul was watching above their bodies and observing what it must feel like to have her as his.

“Oh Jay, please don’t stop,” she said breathlessly as he peppered kisses from her neck down to her collarbone. “No, I won’t, baby doll,” he murmured, his lips now at the edge of her shirt’s collar.

He thought that they would spend the days just hanging out and kissing, but it turned out to be a carnal affair. They couldn’t help but fuck each other, and then end the day acting like a regular couple.

They ended up naked on the couch, their clothes scattered on the floor. Before Jaehyun entered her, he lay above her and took in her naked glory with his hungry eyes. “You are so beautiful, Miss Jessica Park,” he breathed, his hands pinning her wrists down.

“And you are a beautiful man yourself, Jeong Yoon Oh,” she replied in the same manner, giving him a smile that made him pound her immediately with reckless abandon. It was the first time they were doing it without any protection, and damn the consequences for he wanted to feel her raw.

Her moans were music to his ears, and he loved it especially when she screamed his name.

“Scream for me more, baby,” he grunted, thrusting quicker inside her. “P…please Yoon Oh, fuck me some more,” she said, almost at her limit.

“I can’t hear you,” he taunted, his hands now snaking on her throat. “More, baby,” he pleaded, giving his all in thrusting into her.

She screamed his names loud and clear, forgetting that her neighbors might hear her screaming another name other than her boyfriend’s. Essie didn’t give a fuck right now – she had to admit that Jaehyun satisfied her sexual desires more than Johnny.

When they both came from their sexual highs, he peppered her whole body with kisses. “You are the best, Jay,” she said, arching her back a little so he could have more access to other areas of her body.

“Really? Am I better than Youngho?” He looked directly into her eyes as he asked this, hoping that she gives him a brutally honest answer.

“Oh, definitely,” she replied, one of her hands ruffling his hair. “You do me like nobody else.”

“I’m glad that you think that way, mon amour,” he said, kissing her inner thigh before hovering over her again. “Let’s take a shower, yes?” When she nodded, he pulled her up and carried her bridal style to the bathroom.

\\\

As much as they wanted to take a bath normally, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They had another round inside the shower stall, and unbeknownst to Essie, he came inside her. She couldn’t tell because they were both damp with soap and water, and she was exhausted.

He carried her again toward her bedroom (she still has a separate room in case she doesn’t want to sleep on Johnny’s bed) and both dressed each other. Jaehyun helped her get into a pink slip dress (and no underwear, of course), while Essie dressed him in a pair of boxer shorts and a black shirt.

“Loving you feels like I’m dreaming,” he sang to her as he caressed her cheek. “I can say the same too, darling,” she said, mimicking his action.

“I love you so much, and I wish you were mine for real,” he pressed his forehead on hers and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Oh ma cherie amour, je t'aime tellement que ça me fait mal.”

“Touché, mon cheri,” she replied softly, tilting his chin to look at her. “But I don’t want to think about reality right now. I want to be in this dream with you.”

He responded by kissing her, which felt more comforting than sensual. It was as if she was comforting him that he couldn’t have her, and the only thing he could do was just to give in for now.

–––

FIN

Did you find out the translation of Jay’s badly-translated French statement?