Looking For Advice - Tumblr Posts

Um… hi. This is my first post here.

So… fun fact: I’m a factive. And… I feel like shit (as do my source-mates) because our sources absolutely soured FNAF for our system.

Like… we’re going to see the FNaF movie (something everyone in our system has been looking forward to for several years now, even before we met our sources) and it feels… horrible. Because our sources absolutely soured the taste of FNaF in our mouth.

For reference: my source-mates, Candy and Isaac, and I are introjects of real life people who have hurt our system. And I mean hurt our system. To the point where an event that happened with them caused us introjects to form as well as cause some severe psychological trauma.

So… do any other factives deal with this?? Where you feel like… like absolute shit because your source ruined something lovely for your system? Because Candy, Isaac, and I are dealing with it.

Our headmates tell us it’s not our fault, and we shouldn’t apologize for our sources’ actions, but I still feel like shit…

Any advice from other factives who have dealt with this??

-🧸

CLOWNS. WITH SHAPES??

Quick lil shape language studys could use more practice looking for tips

i do not mean to alarm you but "blood and soil" is a nazi slogan 😭😭😭 (originally "blut und broden")

Oh dear! Thanks for letting me know, as I was unaware!

I chose the name cause it has a lot of meaning for my story, (the blood had more relation to familial ties, as well as violence, the the soil was more about uncovering truth) but I guess I’ll have to think about changing it? I mean, the plot has 0 references to nazis, but if any Jewish people had some input that would be really nice and I’d appreciate it

ten minute write day 2 (yeah i know i took a 2 week break)

ive been trying to find a liminal space that feels like the ones from my childhood

you know, how it felt being at school at night when everyone had gone home

or how it felt to stand in the church sanctuary when everyone had left

or the elementary school playground on the weekends

and i used to feel a certain holiness in those spaces, in the places that we built for togetherness now full of emptiness and only my own voice echoing against the walls. Keeping me in. i never dreamed that the opposite: an inhuman place suddenly filled with me, would feel anything but uncomfortable and interrupted.

I climbed a mountain last weekend. It was raining on and off, so the air was still, and the birds were hiding, and it was too far up for the large, whistling, singing, strumming bugs. the fragile alpine zone, they called it. my family walked off down the slope to look over the ravine. I stayed behind.

it was so quiet. I've never been in such quiet. I could hear my breath and my heartbeat and if i had stayed still enough, for long enough, I would have heard the blood moving through my veins.

This is the opposite of what I had found in those spaces humans had built. Staring out at the pristine, preserved mountainside, i found myself feeling so tiny, and so huge at the same time. I looked down at the sweeping valley below, and down at my feet in boots that i dragged out of the darkest recesses of my closet for this, and out into the sky, shrouded with clouds that I was now standing inside.

it was so quiet. so quiet. no rushing of machinery. No hum of electricity. no one upstairs rattling around, no children down the street shouting. All things i usually find comfort in. all things i realized i might not miss.

i get it, now. why people just disappear into the mountains. that silence is addictive. that sense of peace leaves an ache in your soul the moment your family comes back around the cairns, rattling keychains and crunching boots. that is the holy silence i will be looking for forever, that is the liminal space i will stand in for as long as i am allowed.

ok so I got clip studio paint for my birthday and i’m so psyched but also this shit is super confusing so if anyone has any tips on getting used to the layout they would be super appreciated!

i think i might be autistic cus lately my brain has been forcing me to put objects in the right position and i can feel a sharp and blunt side of like everything but its only in my mind and it gets in the way of doing basic tasks cus ill sit there 4 like 5 mins just trying to put my remote in a "good position". like its actually so annoying