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Rewind - Choi San

You and San had always been close, and when you joined him to his usual friday night parties, your view of your best friend seemed to have changed more than you’d like.

word count: 3k

warnings: bestfriend!san, unprotected sex (boooo), hickeys, choking (slightly), creampie

a/n: i’ve been sooooo busy but i’ll update cruel summer in a few days! also not proofread so excuse my mistakes

ateez masterlist

Your detectable boredom hung in the air around you, cutting through the intense smell of liquors and marijuana. Three things you wish were easier to ignore. You were standing in the corner, with a red-colored cup in your left hand as you debated on just leaving right now. Your friend was here, somewhere in the huge house, and you were waiting for him to finish whatever he was doing just so you could finally go home. 

Honestly, you were never one to enjoy parties, always declining politely and saying you had other things to do. You didn’t mind telling your best friend ‘no’ over and over again whenever he begged you to come with her. Which explains the surprised face this morning when you told him you’d join today. 

You were here because you heard Mingi would come. A person you’ve been eyeing for a long time, but never had the confidence to talk to. These sorts of parties make those kinds of things much easier. The conversation will flow, and alcohol courage will keep it going. You thought you would see him tonight, but he never showed up, which explains your wish to leave. And to be very honest you wouldn’t stay here any longer even if he did show up. 

You finally noticed San, your best friend, on the dance floor, his hands wrapped around a random girl’s waist as she was saying something in his ear. He was laughing, making you roll your eyes. It wasn’t anything new to you. He has taken multiple girls to your shared apartment, resulting you in sleeping with earphones every time he did because of the clear moans resonating through the thin walls. 

He was for sure making them feel good though, and sometimes, you would think about wanting to be in their place for once, before shrugging away that thought immediately. He was your best friend, and roommate, so there were boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed.

You watched him for another moment before deciding to leave, not wanting to go back home with him and the plus-one whose voice would be heard the rest of the night. 

San, on the contrary, was constantly thinking about you. He knew about your little crush and figured you were somewhere too lost in Mingi’s kisses to come and talk to him. He was excited to hear you were coming to the party, finally joining him in what felt like ages, but when he heard Mingi was coming, he got the message and left you alone for the night. 

However, when he noticed your dress in the corner of his eyes, he followed your form to the entrance, immediately breaking away from the girl as he followed you. He pushed the bodies in front of him out of the way, trying to keep up with you and your fast tempo. 

‘’Where are you going?’’ He yelled after you when he caught up to you outside, making you turn around, surprised to see him jogging towards you. 

‘’I thought you were leaving with that girl, so I was heading back already’’ You said, planting your hands in the pockets of the leather jacket you borrowed from San, the jacket he thinks is way too big on you. He just can’t deny how good it looks on you, his clothes, claiming you as his in some way. 

‘’I wouldn’t leave with someone else when I took you to this party, I thought you were with Mingi’’ He said, starting to walk towards the direction of your shared apartment, making speed up to walk with him. 

‘’Didn’t show up’’ 

‘’You’re too good for him anyway’’ He muttered, clear enough for you to hear as you let out a chuckle. 

‘’You seemed to be enjoying yourself out there’’ You said, changing the subject so he wouldn’t make your heart flutter like that again. 

Because he looked absolutely gorgeous right now, the light sweater accentuating his toned shoulders while his hair fell loosely on his forehead, a smirk plastered on his face at your comment. The dimly lit streetlights illuminating his face. His steps matched yours, while he subconsciously made them smaller so he would be at the same pace as you. 

‘’She wasn’t interesting’’ He simply said, running a hand through his hair as he looked at the road in front of him. The sound of your steps on the concrete could be heard on the quiet road, and you couldn’t help but feel a little proud of yourself that you were the one San was taking home at the end of the day. 

You just hummed, closing your jacket a bit more at the night breeze, before he threw his arm around you, his body warmth warming you up more. Your heart tightened, a reaction you didn’t see coming at the small move he has done multiple times before. 

You continued the comfortable silent walk until you were in front of your door, entering the code as you felt San’s body dangerously close to yours, his hand ghosting your side. When you got inside, you immediately made a beeline for the couch, dropping your exhausted body on it as San chuckled at you. 

‘’Let’s go to sleep’’ He grabbed your arm, lifting you from the couch easily as your body crashed against his, his hand on your waist supporting you before guiding you towards his room. You kept walking to your own room though, but the hand on your wrist stopped you. ‘’Stay with me’’ He said, making your eyes widen. 

‘’Why?’’ 

‘’You sleep in my bed most of the time, why not today?’’

Because I want to kiss you so bad, it’s killing me.

‘’Because I just want to watch my drama a bit more’’ You lied through your teeth, not daring to tell him the actual reason. Because you don’t trust yourself right now with the drinks you’ve had tonight. 

‘’Just stay with me tonight’’ He almost begged, making your insides twist at the thought of sharing a bed with him right now. 

You don’t know what switched inside you tonight, but you were constantly thinking about San, a problem you usually never have. You thought it could be the way none of the men inside the frat house interested you, thinking about how much better San would be at something, or how San wouldn’t make you uncomfortable when he touches your sides when the other guys did. 

The interior of his room reflected his personality. Black and white themed, not too much but still detailed with the paintings he hung on his wall. He was neat, neater than any boy of your age that you’ve seen the rooms of. 

Before you knew it, you were in his bed, wearing his t-shirt as he stayed a fair distance away from you, but not far enough to keep the countless thoughts about him out of your mind, and if it wasn’t for your tiredness, you wouldn’t have been able to fall asleep this quickly. 

That tiredness slipped away when you woke up a few moments later. San’s hand was wrapped around your waist, splayed out on your bare stomach while his crotch pressed against your ass. His mouth was so close to your ear that you could feel his pillowy lips against the side of your neck. You had to bite back a whimper when he pulled you closer, the friction making you realize just how turned on you were by the feeling of his hands on you. 

It was bad, you knew it, so you tried to fall back asleep. You shifted, trying to get out of his tight grip as he only pulled you closer, a groan leaving his mouth which went straight to your core. It took a couple more minutes of shifting before you felt yourself growing more and more frustrated. 

‘’Sannie’’ You whispered, looking back to see his eyes flutter open.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ His raspy voice spoke, lips so close to yours, you could feel his breathing against them. 

‘’You’re too close’’ You said, voice weak and shaky. 

‘’Hmm? You don’t want me close?’’ He teased, his hand rubbing your stomach softly. 

‘’I do, but it’s dangerous’’ 

‘’And what if that’s exactly what I’m looking for’’ He said, moving his body which resulted in him  hovering over you as he moved your hair out of your face. You didn’t dare to say anything, afraid of what might come out of your mouth. ‘’Tell me,’’ His head moved to your neck, placing his lips against your collarbone, ‘’You really want me to stop?’’ he placed another kiss, making your breath hitch as you struggled to keep yourself from moaning. 

‘’Cat’s got your tongue?’’ He chuckled, a side of San you’ve never experienced showing. His own cat-like eyes look at you with that gaze you recognize. As if he’s telling you he’s got you right where he wants you to be. 

‘’I’m going to get some water’’ You said, shoving yourself out of his grip before stumbling towards the door. You didn’t know why you wanted to get away, but you were so scared of finally showing yourself to San. The confidence you always had slipping away when he was so close to kissing you. You filled your glass with cold water before gulping it all away in one go. Your hands leaned against the counter, contemplating what you were going to do now. 

The door of San’s room opened, revealing him as he walked towards you with his sweatpants hanging low on his hips, exposing his extremely well-toned torso. There was a smirk on his face as he approached you. He grabbed your glass before filling it up with water himself and taking a small sip. 

‘’You good?’’ He asked, trying not to smile at your flushed red face. You were trying to play it cool, looking at him with those eyes of yours, but he noticed your foot tapping on the ground, indicating how nervous you seemed to be. 

‘’Fine’’ You hated how weak your voice sounded. 

He laughed, placing the glass on the counter. ‘’Why are you nervous?’’ His voice was still raspy. He moved a bit closer, feeling his body heat against your skin as he leaned towards your ear, ‘’Do I make you nervous?’’ He asked. 

‘’You do’’ You said before doing something you will probably regret tomorrow, but those worries were for tomorrow only. 

You crashed your lips on his, catching him off guard as he smiled in the kiss. His hands pulled your hips closer to his, making you groan as he sucked on your lower lip before entering his tongue in your mouth. You felt every part of your body on fire, something you haven’t felt in such a long time. 

Your hands were tangled in his hair, pulling it back, eliciting a deep grunt from him. His hands went to the back of your thighs, lifting you up to sit on the counter as he went between them, kissing you like there was no tomorrow. Your hands wrapped around the back of his neck, so lost in the feeling of his lips on yours. He was slow with you, fingers rubbing your thigh and leaving the skin burning with pleasure.

He took you in his arms, walking you to his room again as he dropped you back on the bed, your legs wrapping around his waist. He sat back, pulling off his shirt as you did the same with yours, revealing a dark purple lace bralette. His favorite color. 

‘’Did you wear this one for me, hm?’’ He teased, placing his lips underneath your ear, making you sigh in pleasure as you nodded, not daring to tell him you were thinking about him when you bought it.

He kissed you again, his hand around your waist making you arch your back against his torso, feeling his way bigger body against you as it caged you between him and the soft mattress.

He had imagined this before, whenever he brought a girl over, he would think about the sounds you would make if you were in her position and the way your soft skin would feel against his.

‘’You’re so hot, can’t believe we didn’t do this earlier’’ He muttered, breaking away from the kiss as he kissed the top of your breasts while fumbling with the edge of your panties, your breath coming out staggered by his movements. ‘’Always imagined it’s you whenever I bring a girl over’’

Now that was a comment you didn’t expect, and one that made your panties ever wetter in just a few seconds. 

‘’Please just fuck me already’’ You whined, growing needy and just wanting to feel him deep inside you. He tutted at you, his hand moving away from your panties. 

‘’We’re going to do this my way, and I’m going to take my time’’ He said, ‘’Want to see all of you’’ He added, kissing down the valley of your breasts and opening your legs with his knee. 

You bit your lip, his lips coming close to where you needed them the most. You looked down at the view, his head between your thighs, a view you would probably never forget. 

San felt the same way, feeling your soft skin under his fingertips, your small breaths and whimpers music to his ears as he teased you slowly because he never wanted this moment to end. It felt like a dream. His lips went back to your stomach, kissing their way up to your lips again. 

‘’Can I take these off?’’ He whispered, pulling your panties down when you nodded, exposing yourself to him. His hands then went to your waist, lifting you up as his fingers undid the clip of your bra. 

He gawked at you, making you hide your body with your arms as his hands grabbed your wrists. ‘’Don’t hide’’ He pushed you back down against the bed, this time pulling off his own trousers and boxers, leaving him naked in front of you as he smiled at you, making butterflies erupt in your stomach. 

‘’Do you want to do this? 

‘’Yes’’ You whined, high on the feeling of what was about to happen. 

San entered two fingers, making you throw your head back in delight. Your hand came up next to your head as you held onto the pillow tightly, pleasure erupting in your body as he held your hips in place with his other hand. His fingers went up to your clit, rubbing it slowly as you moaned his name over and over. 

‘’Please San, I need you inside’’ You said, pulling him towards you for a kiss as he smiled at your needy state. 

‘’Yeah, need my dick?’’ He said in a cocky tone, wanting to see you beg for it. 

‘’Yeah- need it now, please’’ You said, the feeling of his fingers driving you near the edge. 

“Condom?” He asked, looking into your eyes.

“I’m on birth control” You assured.

However San didn’t tell you that you were the only one he asked, but because it was you, he couldn’t help but want to feel you. All of you.

His hand went around your throat, holding it softly while he locked his eyes with yours, his fingers leaving you as you felt his tip enter you. He pressed a bit harder on the sides of your throat, making you moan out of bliss as you felt his hips meet yours. 

‘’So good, baby, all mine’’ He whimpered at the pleasure, slowly pulling out, then pushing in with the same speed. You felt the drag of his cock inside your walls, feeling every vein and rolling your eyes back when he pulled out again. 

He kept the slow pace, fucking you deeper every time. His hands were all over your body, gentle touches keeping you close to him. You were seeing stars, lost in the pleasure and his lips on the side of your neck. 

‘’Mingi could never fuck you like this’’ He said, sucking and creating marks to show off to others that you were his now. ‘’Hm? Would he fuck you better?’’

‘’No, he can’t’’ He sped up at your answer. His hand went to your clit, rubbing circles, getting you closer and closer to your high. Your nails were digging into his neck, his hand placed on your hip, holding you in place as his hips snapped deeper inside of you. His groans went straight in your ear, his deep raspy voice like music. He grabbed your leg, hoisting it over his shoulder as the angle made you see stars.

‘’Gonna- ah’’ You mumbled, not able to form a proper sentence. ‘’Gonna cum’’ You moaned, watching the way he slid inside you easily as you threw your head back, the high taking over. Your brows were knitted together as you came, making it hard for him to last any longer. 

‘’Good girl’’ He praised, stroking your sweaty hair out of your face as he pounded deeper inside of you. ‘’Where do you want me to cum?’’ 

‘’Inside, please, fill me up San’’ You stammered. ‘’Need it, need it so bad’’

He stilled inside you at your words, before releasing his load deep inside you, groaning as his head was buried in the crook of your neck. You stayed like that with him for a while, until he pulled out, kissing your cheek softly.

‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked, making you nod with a smile.

He got up, threw on sweatpants as you closed your eyes, still in bliss, before you felt a wet cloth between your legs, San cleaning you up before handing you his shirt. He dropped beside you, pulling you to his chest. 

‘’We should do this more often’’ You chuckled, making him smile against the top of your head. 

‘’Like a regular thing?’’ 

‘’I mean, if you want to?’’ You mumbled, suggesting friends with benefits with San was something you never thought you would do. 

‘’I definitely want to’’ He chuckled, lifting your head and placing a kiss on your lips before you snuggled a bit closer. 

[5am adventures - choi san drabble]

"god, my parents are literally going to murder me if they realise I snuck out, san," you whine, rubbing your face as the reality of your little crime begins to hit you.

granted, it's not actually a crime, but it might as well be because if your parents catch you missing from your bed then you're done for.

"they won't find out, angel, and even if they do," he says as he drops an arm around your shoulder, "I promise to visit you in hell when I get there, 'kay?"

you scoff and shake his arm off, giving him a Look™. he just smiles lazily and shrugs, skipping ahead a few steps and stretching his arms above his head.

"wait, why do you think I'm going to hell, huh? you literally call me angel!" you point out, catching up to him just so you can give him the side-eye.

he sticks his tongue out at you rebelliously, but you know that means he's got no smart retorts left, so a victorious smile finds its way to your tired face.

the sun hasn't started rising just yet, but the sky is a faint blue-grey colour as night becomes early morning. streetlights still light up your path as you walk side by side, and at this time of day, it almost feels like you're two movie protagonists exploring an abandoned neighbourhood in the middle of an apocalypse.

"doesn't it kinda feel like a zombie movie or something?" san comments, reading your mind.

"in that case, I'm happy you're my companion," you say, and just before he can coo at you, you add, "'cause at least I won't feel guilty when I use you as bait, y'know?"

"those are bold words from someone who can only run half as fast as me," he responds with an eyebrow raised.

for a moment, it looks like he’s getting ready to prove his point, but then he realises he’s too tired to put in that kind of effort and instead you both break out into laughter. he turns away from you and you loop your arm through his as you continue your walk.

leaning your head against his shoulder, you say, "I know you'd never leave me behind like that. I'm such good company, it'd be a shame to lose me."

he just scoffs and tells you you're on thin ice, but you can hear the smile in his voice.

reaching the end of the street, you realise he’s leading you to the unfinished part of the estate, decorated with random sand dunes and areas marked out for houses yet to be built. as a kid, you lived in a neighbourhood with a similar layout, and you remember the adventures you’d go on with the kids who lived next door.

you’d pretend to be vampires on a hunt for blood, or mischievous princes and princesses running through your kingdom’s village. sometimes, the adults would even join in and play a game of fantasy-themed tag with you guys, but secretly, you always preferred the thrill of sneaking away without them realising.

funnily enough, even now, it seems like you have that internal feeling of longing for fun, risks and adventures. that’s why san knew you’d sneak out with him, even if you complained about it.

“I really like this time of day,” san comments as he kicks away the fragments of brick on the path. “like, I feel like my thoughts are so much clearer, and I don’t have to think about what’s next on my to-do list, you know?”

he walks ahead to a sandstone wall surrounding a plot and takes a seat, crossing his legs. you sit beside him with your legs hanging over the edge, and he tilts his head as he thinks to himself.

you find yourself admiring his profile absentmindedly, and you can’t help but feel it’s a little unfair how lovely he looks in the pale light. when his gaze finds yours again, you immediately look away in embarrassment, but he doesn’t comment on it.

he hesitates for a moment before he finally says, “I think it’s kinda special when it’s just us two out here.”

at that, you look up again to find him watching your expression carefully, nervously. this time, it’s him who looks away first.

he picks at the jagged rocks poking out of the sandstone, and you find it cute because you know he only fidgets with things when he’s nervous about something.

“god, it’s so cliche, but you really feel like home to me. I feel like I can say anything that’s on my mind and you’ll just listen and care and, I don’t know, I can just trust you wholeheartedly and I know you won’t hurt me, and I’ve never felt that way about anyone before, and it’s so...” he trails off, sighing when he realises he’s rambling.

flicking a rock from the wall, he grows quiet again. he won’t look up at you, but you can tell he’s waiting for a response.

“I get it. it’s the same for me. you know me the most,” you tell him, and even though he’s still staring down at the wall, you see his eyes widen, so you continue, “literally, there’s no one else who I would be able to tell the things I tell you, and maybe it kind of seems like I take that for granted ‘cause I don’t thank you nearly enough, but I’m so grateful, san. seriously.”

there’s a moment of silence after that, but it isn’t awkward and you don’t feel the need to fill it. it’s like you’re both sitting there and processing the real meaning behind what you said. you have so much more to add but right now, no words come to mind, so you can only hope that he understands what you’re feeling.

you’re pretty sure he does when he stands up and reaches for your hand, intertwining your fingers casually as he gets ready to walk around together again. feeling a little braver now, you decide to speak up.

“so, I know we should probably sleep when we get back, but would you be down to go out like this again tomorrow?”

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