Spideychelle Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Peter, after sacrificing himself:
MJ: please don’t be dead
MJ: please don’t be dead
MJ: please please please don’t be dead
Peter: i’m alive
MJ: i’m going to fucking kill you
MJ: You spent your entire life savings on dogs?
Peter: They’re golden retrievers, MJ. They retrieve gold. I did it for us.
Peter: I think I have a crush for tall people
MJ: It’s not a crush for tall people if everyone is taller than you.
MJ: at dinner with my family do NOT bring up politics
Peter: got it
*Later*
Mr Watson: so what are your political beliefs?
Peter, caught off guard, dropping fork in surprise: w-well i, think uh, pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he, uh, if he had a gun
MJ: you shouldn’t have any children if you’re going to abandon them! because we keep thinking it’s our fault our whole life!!!
Miss Watson: please michelle don’t play the victim on me. what a weak justification
Miss Watson: “oh i’m anorexic because i’m adopted” “cheats on my wife because i wasn’t breastfed”
Miss Watson: everyone has an apology for their shitty behavior
Peter: and what’s yours?
Miss Watson: excuse me?
Peter: what’s your apology for being shit?
MJ in thought: god i love this boy
Mj: I’m having conflicting feelings about my mother again.
Peter: Wanna go shout curse words at her grave?
Mj: ...yes
Peter: Do you wanna dance with me?
MJ: No
Peter: Do you want to stand awkwardly in the corner with me?
MJ: Now you're speaking my language
Mj: I love true crime!
Peter, trying to impress her: I’ve been suspected for four murders
Mj: I'm not unhappy Tuff, I'm just- *turning to Peter* How do you explain resting bitch face to a muttonhead
Peter: See, her neutral face looks pissed but doesn't mean she's mad
Peter: Except from when she is mad, which is usually
Peter: We should get married.
MJ: We’ve been dating for less than a year.
Peter: I know and I think I’ve shown incredible restraint for waiting this long.
Peter: It's really muggy out today
MJ: If I go outside and all our mugs are outside in the front garden, i'm going to kill you.
Peter: *sips black coffee from a wine glass*
Ned: you know Peter would die for you, right?
Mj: Peter would die to save a fucking pigeon
Spiderman: Don’t kill me. I have a girlfriend.
Any villain: You think I care about that?
Spiderman: Oh, that’s not a plea for mercy. It’s a warning.
*MJ bursts through the wall*
MJ: Are you ready to die?!?
Lizz: and how did you meet?
Peter: It was on a dating site for spiders
Peter: I said I was looking for someone who wanted to eat my head
MJ: it was a communication error