This Book Is Killing Me - Tumblr Posts

Heir of Fire ~ Sarah J Mass

"I could rationalize this decision away. It was easy, too easy. She was a lost soul who sought help and I gave it, thus was my vocation. I could repeat that sentence like a litany, like a prayer, a meditation of pious deceit, but it still would not change the truth. I was giving in to temptation. Every decision I made that kept me close to her, that offered the opportunity to be close enough to touch her hand or smell her hair, was a sin. I wanted it all the same."

— Isabel Cañas, The Hacienda

this broke me I hate y'all like am I not break enough...

Guess no 'cause I'll probably read it again this week.

also i may be slow on the uptake but i never realized something. in catching fire, we actually get more details/specifics on peeta’s nightmares than i originally thought.

in this quote right here, “my nightmares are usually about losing you. i’m okay once i realize you’re here,” peeta tells us the vaguest hint of his dreams but in this earlier quote from catching fire, we get a much fuller picture.

Some you wouldn't get right away, if you hadn't been with him in the arena yourself. Water dripping through the cracks in our cave. The dry pond bed. A pair of hands, his own, digging for roots. Others any viewer would recognize. The golden horn called the Cornucopia. Clove arranging the knives inside her jacket. One of the mutts, unmistakably the blond, green-eyed one meant to be Glimmer, snarling as it makes its way toward us. And me. I am everywhere. High up in a tree. Beating a shirt against the stones in the stream. Lying unconscious in a pool of blood. And one I can't place — perhaps this is how I looked when his fever was high—emerging from a silver gray mist that matches my eyes exactly.

“What do you think?” he asks.

“I hate them,” I say. I can almost smell the blood, the dirt, the unnatural breath of the mutt. “All I do is go around trying to forget the arena and you've brought it, back to life. How do you remember these things so exactly?”

“I see them every night,” he says.

I know what he means. Nightmares — which I was no stranger to before the Games — now plague me whenever I sleep. But the old standby, the one of my father being blown to bits in the mines, is rare. Instead I relive versions of what happened in the arena. My worthless attempt to save Rue. Peeta bleeding to death. Glimmer's bloated body disintegrating in my hands. Cato's horrific end with the muttations. These are the most frequent visitors. “Me, too. Does it help? To paint them out?”

So basically we can assume that peeta’s dreams are katniss dying up in the tree when the careers (and he himself) were waiting to kill her, her dying in a pool of blood (which is the sight he woke up to the morning after she drugged him to sleep with the berries) or him dying and leaving her behind (the beating his shirt clean or her through a misty haze when he had a fever).

idk just some fun facts to think about.