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Accidental Vegetarian Restaurants in Denver

My fellow vegetarians, vegans, pescatarians, pollotarians, flexitarians, gluten free picky eaters and hipster sell out fad poseurs - fam, let’s be real, eating out when you have a peculiar and particular diet sucks. It is way too easy to come off like a rude and spoiled squab, a douche, with ‘special dietary needs’ that can seem very unnecessary and finicky in the wrong environment. Let me put it this way, you wouldn’t go to a fish taco truck and order a number five, ask where the fish came from, hold the fish, replace the fish with coleslaw and mention how ‘it wouldn’t hurt if you charged me less because frankly, I’m paying for bread and cabbage…..’ 

So where does this leave you?

You’re either stuck with a niche, culture-vulture establishment that serves overpriced food (a parasite, if you will, feeding off the vegan market looking to make money with only investors and half assed tofu-centric menu items at the core of its business, ubiquitous vegan establishments who will remain nameless) – or sad side items consisting of starches and ‘seasonal vegetables’, which are more often than not three sprigs of $6 asparagus cooked in bacon fat, or a minimal house salad where you will probably have to ask that the kitchen ‘hold the ham’, or the worst - nothing at all other than chips and a Cliff bar from 711.

Before you give up on going out, there is hope. 

My favorite places are what I call accidental vegetarian spots. Places, who, through their genuine effort and passion to provide flavorful, delicious food, have come up with menu items which are not only vegetarian friendly, but are actually made with quality ingredients and care… like someone actually took the time to think about what the fuck food they were preparing for you to eat. Unlike the trash veggie burger at Park and Company – if you’ve ever had that rice, corn slop – you feel me.

If you find yourself in Denver, out with friends, looking for something that will satisfy everyone - even those nasty carnivores you hang out with - see below for a short list of note worthy destinations.

My Brother’s Bar - getting lit as never been so charming

Established in 1873 and located just north of down town Denver, My Brother’s Bar is a delightful, fried food haven. All self respecting beer drinking Americans are encouraged to check this place out. In addition to the many brews and liquors available at this full service bar, the menu also features a variety of classics, including burgers, jalapeno poppers, hot dogs, sandwiches, salads and an incredible veggie burger – The Boulder Burger. When this morsel arrives to the table, professionally wrapped in fast food fashion, accompanied by what Yelp reviewers call ‘an interesting condiment box’ filled with pickles, onions, peppers and relish – it is an exciting experience like no other. On top of all that, this patty (made in-house) is as tasty and satisfying as that double cheese I know ya’ll miss from that golden arched McMonster. Whether you dine inside or out on the private patio, My Brother’s Bar is sure to hit the spot.

Torta Grill - quick, hot and satisfying (oooo baby)

Tucked away between N Williams St and N High St on Colfax is an affordable and deliciously unique compact take-out café – Denver’s Torta Grill. Vegetarians rejoice! Torta Grill has several tasty veggie options, including this cactus filled delight – The Enrique. Stuffed full between two delicate, fluffy slices of bolillo bread is cactus, egg, panela cheese, red peppers and other grilled veggies. Warm, gooey and grilled, this traditional sandwich boasts an awesome flavor. Cactus is not easy to find in Denver, and the chefs at Torta Grill are experts. Try this with their signature “Red” or “Natural” juice and you my friend are set up for a satisfying experience.

The Universal - brunch that will satisfy everyone (including ur sinning friends)

This traditional breakfast is perfect for vegetarians looking to soak up last night’s mistakes. The potatoes are crispy and salty, the toast is perfect for scooping up those escaped egg innards and The Universal’s vegetarian sausage patties are to die for. Friends, resist the urge to ask your server if a mistake was made with the order. Yes, they taste just like breakfast sausage, they look just like breakfast sausage but believe it or not, these little sausage patties are one hundred percent vegetarian. We swear! The next time a serious breakfast is in order, The Universal has you covered.

Whether you’re a vegan or carnivore, flexitarian or someone who just loves to flex on others with shitty labels that really don’t mean anything - srsly, google it - I love you and hope you enjoy these establishments as much as I do! 

Thanks for reading,

The Angry Vegetarian 

A Lazy Denver Afternoon

There’s dry heat and there’s humid heat. Everyone has an opinion, it seems, on which is worse. I don’t really care, heat is heat, baby. And in The Mile High City, heat is here and it is up close and personal.

It’s summer in Denver. 

The streets smell like hot piss and average highs are in the mid to upper 90s. The Sun is eerily close to our little cement plot, generating a savage radiated heat, that cooks us all in microwaves. You wouldn’t know your own mother if she was standing in front of you, the merciless shine of the Sun beats down with such relentless, surreal and blinding light.

So what can you do?

Be anywhere but outside, duh. One of my go-to, loitering friendly, safe havens for veggin’ out is Denver staple, City O’ City. And when done right, you can save a lot of dough by catching their ridiculous Happy Hour, daily, from 2-6pm. 

There are a lot of juicy delights on this menu. Whether you want to keep it classic with sautéed kale and fries, or up the caloric intake with their vegan poutine - there’s plenty of mix and match selections for you and your homies. 

My favorite?

Tacos, hoes! I love the refreshing, pickled-spice of their over all delish chorizo seasoned cauliflower tacos. Available at a very respectable price - just $2 per taco - this is a street-food staple experience that we vegans and veggies never get a lick of. #acryforhelp

Thank you City O’ City for serving up that mouthwatering consistency.

Love,

Ya favorite Angry Veg

Avoid Denver’s Pizza Paradox

Google “Denver Pizza” and over 160 results will pull up - and that doesn’t even include the restaurants with pizza on their menu, that is just a list of pure pizza joints. Considering the one or two page results of literally any other genre of food in Denver - that, my friends, is just too much pizza for one small city. 

And the gross part is, is that new pizza shops are continuing to pop up all over the city like an infectious rash. See a new restaurant in LoDo “coming soon”? It’s pizza - BET.

So what can you do when you need hot, cheesy relief but the insane variety is making you lose your mind? Please read on for the Five Pies You’ve Got to Try.

Marquis Pizza in LoDo

Nestled on the brink between Lodo and Rino, Marquis Pizza serves up a classic New York style slice in a stylish satanic box that will make your inner punk say “blitzkrieg bop”. Conveniently open until 3 AM half of the week, this Denver staple comes in clutch during the wee hours of the morning when a perfect slice is what you seek. They also deliver - sweet.

Vero Italian in Denver Central Market

Brought to you by Andrea Frizzi, owner of Denver’s newest posh restaurant, Il Posto, Vero Italian specializes in authentic Italian pizza. Each pizza is absolutely exceptional and unique. The menu offers rich ingredients that give each recipe an elevated sense of decadence. Fancy shit right here.

Hops & Pie on Tennyson St

In addition to serving up daily deals on local brews, you can find a diverse variety of pizza pies and toppings at Hops & Pie - house hickory smoked tofu, broccoli and mashed potatoes are all on the menu. Especially filling, these unique pies promise to hit the spot.

Cart Driver in RiNo

Urban meets rustic at this Southern Italian restaurant that serves wood-fired pizzas with a one-of-a-kind crust. Chewy but never soggy, these personal pizzas are all topped with ingredients that are satisfyingly simple. This Angry Vegetarian’s favorite? The accidental vegan marinara, topped with the freshest garlic #keepawaythosevamps

Famous Original J’s Pizza in Five Points

This stylish, humble hole in the wall has quickly proven to be the best New York style slice in Denver. Founded by the same visionary who provides the authentic New York flavor that is Rosenberg's Bagels & Delicatessen, this pizza is made with the same thoughtfulness and care. Famous Original J’s Pizza serves up quality slices; the crust holds up and has a divine crunch, the sauce is beyond rich. (and they offer a heavenly VEGAN CHEESE PIZZA - rejoice)