X Reader Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Mikey: *Just chilling on the couch eating classic NYC pizza.*
Y/N: *Walks in with a solenm look.* Mikey, we need to talk. There is something I need to confess…
Mikey: *Thinking they are about to break-up.* What is it, babe?
Y/N: I-… I don’t like New York style pizza! I like thin crust!
Mikey: This is… even worse then I expected! How could you do this to us! I loved you, but I can’t accept this abomination!
Y/N: Oh, so you care about the crust style but now what you put ON the pizza? You put mayonnaise and marshmallows on your pizza! If anything, that’s the abomination!
Mikey: *gasp*!
Incorrect x reader haikyuu quotes
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
I’m doing here a shitpost of a few I find on the internet. I don’t own any of these and if you do find the owners please tell me and ill add the credit. ( also inspired by @exhausted-smiles )
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(Y/N) : The food is too hot, I can’t eat it. Kuroo : You’re too hot and I still want to eat you (Y/N) : What - Kenma: Lunch. One peaceful lunch, just one.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Kuroo: How’d the date go?
Kenma : I wanted to compliment them. Tell them they had a wonderful smile and all that. Kuroo: What happened? Kenma: They smiled at me and I said ’You had eyes’
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
(Aged so its not underage)
Nishinoya : How drunk was I last night? (Y/N) : You called milk cereal water.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Kageyma, opening a milk carton : I’m going to drink my sorrows away.
Tanaka: What happened
Nishinoya: (Y/N)-san was busy.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
(Y/N): You’re smiling, did something good happen today?
Tsukkishima: I can’t smile because I feel like it?
Yamaguchi: Hinata tripped and fell during practice today,
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
(Y/N): I can’t believe were stuck in this room together
Yamamoto, swallowing the key: Truly unfortunate
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Tsukki: The glass is half empty.
(Y/N): I think the glass is half full.
Tsukki: I think you’re full of shit.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Kenma: Can you do the thing?
(Y/N): Hm? What thing?
Kenma: The thing that never fails to make me happy
(Y/N): Oh.
(Y/N): *smiles*
Kenma: Thank you.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Lev: It’s really muggy out today.
(Y/N): If I go outside and all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m going to kill you.
Lev: * sips coffee from a bowl *
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
(Y/N): If you work on farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, you are a chicken tender
Ushijima, eyes wide staring up at the ceiling:
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
(Y/N): Today, I lost my boyfriend, and your captain, Daichi.
Daichi, from the other room: QUIT TELLING PEOPLE IM DEAD
(Y/N): Sometimes, I can still hear his voice
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
( aged again ) (Y/N), drunk at 2am: Snakes have this thing called a hemipenis, it means they have two dicks.
Kuroo, equally drunk: Nao from Nohebi has two dicks
Kuroo: One is in his pants, and one is his personality
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
(Y/N): *putting on chapstick*
Kageyama: What flavor is that?
(Y/N): Cherry
Kageyama: Can I try some
(Y/N): Yeah *hands over the chapstick*
Kageyama: *kisses (Y/N)* Holy shit, it tastes like Cherry
*(Y/N).exe has stopped functioning*
( https://suunnysyde.tumblr.com/post/625031413150924800/incorrect-x-reader-haikyuu-quotes-part-2 )
Incorrect x reader Haikyuu quotes !!
Part 2, Nekoma edition! ( bonus Akaashi and Bokuto (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ )
Here’s more incorrect quotes, again if you know the person who made the original quote feel free to tag them. Here’s a Nekoma version because they’re my favoite. I’ll do the other teams later. Also to my new followers, bad choice but keep doing it.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
(Y/N) : Kozu ? You’re still awake?
Kenma: it’s not that late
(Y/N): it’s 2am
Kenma: it’s not that late
(Y/N): how long are you planning to stay awake?
Kenma: until 5am
(Y/N): …we have school at 7
Kenma: until 5 am
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Yaku: if you were going to die , what would be your last words ?
(Y/N): finally
Yaku: No -
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Lev: four months…
Kuroo: what’s he talking about?
(Y/N), giggling: It’s nothing really-
Lev: THATS HOW LONG YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Akaashi: can you recommend me a book that made you cry?
(Y/N): general mathematics 6th edition
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Kuroo: wow that shirt is great, (Y/N).
(Y/N): thanks.
Kuroo : but I bet it would look better on Kenma’s floor
Kenma: are you hitting on (Y/N)… for me?
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
( aged up )
Yamamoto : Aw you had a crush on me
Yamamoto : that’s embarrassing
(Y/N): we’re married
Yamamoto : still
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Lev: here you go (Y/N), a nice cup of hot coffee.
(Y/N): oh… it’s cold.
Lev: Nice cup of coffee.
(Y/N): it’s horrible-
Lev: Cup of coffee.
(Y/N): Is this even coffee?
Lev: Cup.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
(Y/N): I can’t go, stress is bad for the baby
Kuroo: What baby?
(Y/N): me.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
(Y/N) : Say yes to Drugs
Yaku: Say no to drugs
Kuroo: it doesn’t matter what you tell drugs
Kuroo : because if you’re talking to drugs you’re taking Drugs
(Y/N): thanks science genius
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Kenma: Why are your tongues purple?
(Y/N): We had slushees, i had a red one
Kuroo: I had a blue one
Kenma: oh
Kenma:
Kenma: OH
Fukunaga:
Fukunaga: So you drank each other’s slushees?
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Cop: What’re your names?
Bokuto: Don’t tell them, (Y/N)
Cop : (Y/N)…
Bokuto : shit
(Y/N): Nice going, Bokuto
Cop:
(Y/N): fuck.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
(Y/N), on the phone with Kenma: What’re you doing?
Kenma, playing video games: The dishes
(Y/N): was that a laser gun?
Kenma: it’s a bad neighborhood.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Lev: Did it hurt?
(Y/N), sighing: When I fell from heaven-
Lev: when you fell from a vending machine
(Y/N):
Lev: cause you’re a snack ─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── Part three !!
Please do not read this if you are uncomfortable with the yandere!
Pairing: Yandere! Luka Couffaine x Reader, Yandere! Ladybug x Reader, Yandere! Reader (?) x Luka Couffaine
Alya: - I have such a strange feeling all day, as if we are being watched. Can you feel it?
Y/n: *looks at Viperion outside the window, abruptly closes the curtains* -No
---
Moth: - I give you the power to take revenge on your offenders.
Y/n: - Wow, sir, can I have the ability to fly? Or invisibility. I want to become invisible! Oh, No. Better lasers! No no. I want to dissolve my enemies.
Moth: *sighs tiredly*
Chat Noir: -*awkwardly waiting for akumatization*
Ladybug: -She's so cute when she can't decide ~
---
Marinette: - Thank you for inviting me to your place.
Y/n: -Do not thank. Let's just deal with our task.
Marinette: -I have long wanted to meet your new cat. Since cat appeared, you've talked so much about it.
Y/n: - I bet this cat is already mischievous. *opens the door to the room*
Chat Noir: -*looks around in fright, holding her panties in hands*
Marinette: -Chat Noir????
Y/n: -*scared* -NO. This is ... my new cat is Fluff.
Chat Noir: -Meow.
----
Luka: *looks at Adrien* -It's amazing how he can not notice the feelings of Marinette? It's so obvious.
Y/n in the "Love Me Luca" T-shirt: -Really.
Squid Game AU. Because why not
Y/n: -It's so good that I have a triangle.
Guard!Luka: -...
Y/n: *casts a passionate glance at the guard* Because it's easy to make a heart out of a triangle for you.
Guard!Luka: *shy*
---
Y/n: *slaps a guard on the ass loudly*
All: *shocked*
Guard!Adrien: *blushes*
Y/n: -There is one problem. I still don't have your number.......... Oh yes. I don't have a phone either.
---
Player: -You should stop acting like that.
Y/n: -Why? Will they kill me for bad jokes? Ahaha
All: *are silent*
Y/n: -Ahah... ha... They won't do it, will they? Right? WHY ARE YOU SILENT?????
Squid Game AU.
Kagami: -I thought correctly that we would have to play against each other. It's good that we chose other players as a couple.
Y/n: -Will survival be the prize again? :с
Kagami: -We are literally fighting for money...
Y/n: -If we both survive, then you will go on a date with me!
Kagami: -....
Kagami: -You're an incredible dumbass.
Kagami: -....
Kagami: -Ok.
---
Guard!Luka: *pushes y/n into the bathroom, closes the door behind him* -If you behave well, then we can agree.
Y/n: -You are a vile pervert! Don't come near. I have an anecdote and I am not afraid to apply it.
Guard!Luka: - Actually, I wanted to offer some extra food in exchange for a little kiss. But if you have other ideas, I am ready to listen... Wait. What? Are you threatening with a joke????
Y/n: -Trust me. It's so bad you won't want to hear it.
---
Guard!Adrien: *leads y/n into the room, going out*
Y/n: *grabs his hand* Wait! Don't leave me here alone. I don't know anyone here. It makes me worry.
Guard!Adrien: -Emm... I have to kill you if you lose or break the rules.
Y/n: -Well, yes. Don't friends do that? Wait. So we're not friends??? :с I thought you were following me because we are the BEST friends.
Guard!Adrien:*sighs heavily*
Luka: - Rather, we need to hide before the villain notices us.
Y/n: -Great idea. Why don't the two of us hide in this cramped locker? Only you and me~
Y/n: (͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ °)