Yang Jungwon X Reader - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

i’m actually sobbing why do i do this to myself

i actually need to stop reading angst

ILY FOR THIS ITS SO GOODHSISNSISBX

bandaids are no good for heartache - y.j.w.

summary — with jungwon so busy with work, you've been feeling like less of a priority to him.

pairing — bf!idol!jungwon x gf!reader

genre — angst with a pinch of fluff

wc — 4.5k

warnings — lots of break up talk, super brief mention of potential cheating (no cheating happens tho), jungwon on his knees begging (very much self-indulgent and i am not sorry)

a/n — #ILOVEANGST <3 tbh i'm not super proud of this but i rly wanted to put smth out during my lil uni break. also i almost wrote my name instead of "y/n" multiple times while writing this ... the delusions are getting to me i think. anyway this whole fic is extremely self-indulgent (mostly the begging i just love when men beg *evil laughs*)

your eyes sting as they stay trained on the screen of your ipad, illuminating your face in the dark room. it’s been weeks since you saw him last, and now you watch your boyfriend dancing across the stage in a livestream of his concert, catching it in the early hours of the morning because of the time zone difference. he looks so happy. he always looks the happiest on stage, doing what he loves. you continue to watch him jump around and laugh with his members, trying to remember the last time you saw him smile like that with you.

as the concert comes to an end, you watch jungwon’s sweet grin as he waves goodbye to his fans. fans. honestly, that’s what you’re starting to feel like too. it’s been months since you felt his presence in yours—even when he’s with you, it feels like his mind is spiraling elsewhere, never keeping his attention on you. is it his fault? of course not, and you know that. being as young as he is, and having as many responsibilities as he has can definitely take a toll on someone, especially on top of constantly being on the road. although you’ve always been supportive of him, there are times where you feel like you’re not getting enough back. this is something that’s been in the back of your mind for a while now, but you could never bring yourself to voice it to him. you know how much jungwon appreciates your support and care, and you cannot fathom putting more of a burden on him when he’s already so stressed and busy. so, you stay silent, just as you always have. it’s just a little seed of concern anyway.

what you didn’t notice though is how over the years, that seed of concern started growing as resentment in the silence of your heart, spreading roots that tangled with your love for him, making it harder and harder to separate the two.

your thoughts and worries fade into nothing as you fall into a quiet slumber, your body curling into just one side of the bed in jungwon's absence.

--

the day of jungwon's return home arrives like any other. it’s a routine you’ve fallen into—knowing he'll walk through the door sometime in the evening, bringing with him the familiar mix of exhaustion and relief. as you await his arrival, you decide to make his favourite dinner as a small surprise. 

as you prepare the dining table, you hear the rattling of the door knob, turning around just in time to see your fatigued boyfriend come through the door. despite his exhaustion, he wears a lazy smile on his face, always so happy to see you.

“wonie! i missed you so much!” you jump into his embrace, his arms instinctually wrapping around you, dropping his bags in the process. you feel his face fall into the crook of your neck, taking a deep breath as if to ingrain your scent into his mind.

“i missed you a lot too, baby,” he pulls back to look at you and give you a chaste kiss before setting you down, keeping his arms wrapped around you. “i’m hungry as hell though. we had snacks for the road but fuckass sunghoon ate them all in the first half of the ride.” 

you snicker at his expression of distaste towards his friend’s actions. “well, lucky for you, i made your favourite!” you gesture towards the table set up with your home cooked meal. you watch jungwon’s eyes sparkle with excitement as he looks between you and the dining table. you feel his arms wrap around you tighter as he pecks the top of your head. “what did i do to deserve you, y/n…” he asks rhetorically, affection prominent in his voice.

“yeah, sometimes i ask myself the same thing,” you reply teasingly.

as you two start to eat away at your hard work, jungwon tells you all about what happened at the concerts they had in the past two months. 

“no way, he did that? oh my god, that’s so dangerous!”

“i’m serious, he jumped off the platform while it was still in the air! it was insane, but you know what jay’s like during concerts, so it’s not too shocking.”

you sigh as you poke the food on your plate with your spoon. “i wish i could’ve been there. the livestream didn’t show that,” you huff.

jungwon smiles at your pouting. “well, we’re having a show here in two weeks, so you can come to that one!”

he looks at you expectantly, waiting for your squeal of excitement, but it doesn’t come. what he gets instead is a blank stare, that quickly turns into a hesitant smile. “oh, nice!” you try to muster up as much excitement as you can, but your disappointment is too evident. he just came back and they’ve already planned the next concerts, meaning he’s not going to be around at all for those two weeks since he’ll be too busy preparing and practicing. you’re going to be alone again. you can’t help but feel a bit selfish for thinking this way, but you’re starting to feel like you don’t know how much longer you can handle this for. at the same time, you feel like you can’t bring it up because you don’t want to burden jungwon even further.

he raises an eyebrow at you. “nice? that’s all i get? i thought you’d be more excited about this.”

“i am excited, wonie,” you lie as you start to get up to clear your plate when you feel your eyes begin to burn with tears. as you walk towards and into the kitchen, his eyes don’t leave your face for a second.

“okay, obviously you’re not, y/n. i know you, and i know when you’re not telling the truth,” he says, his eyebrows so furrowed that they’re almost connected. “what’s wrong?”

an uncomfortable tension starts to settle in the air as you continue to lie to him. “nothing’s wrong! i’m just tired.” you hope he didn’t hear the slight crack in your voice as the tears start threatening to fall. unfortunately for you, jungwon knows you better than you know yourself and he knows when you’re upset. he heard the familiar crack loud and clear, and he knows exactly what it means.

“wait, baby, are you crying?”

you swallow down the tears rising in an attempt to hide them from jungwon. “no, what do you mean?” you try to mask your sadness with a chuckle, but jungwon knows you better than that.

“my love, you know you can tell me anything, right? talk to me,” he says softly.

and apparently, that’s your last straw. the second his words hit your ear, the dam breaks.

alarms blare in his mind as soon as he sees the first tear fall, screaming for him to get up and wrap you into his chest, as he usually does in this type of situation. and so, that’s exactly what he does, just as he has in the past. the only difference here is that when he reaches for your crying form, you brush him off and leave for your room. jungwon feels his heart crack while he watches you walk away from him in this state. this is the first time he’s felt like he didn’t know how to help you, since he doesn’t even know what he’s done wrong.

after hearing the door of your shared room shut, jungwon cleans up the rest of the dining table. he decided to give you some space to cool down, while also giving himself some space to figure out how to approach this. now that he’s thinking about it, he hasn’t seen you cry in months. you’ve always put on a smile for him, and now he can’t help but wonder what he's been missing. after what feels like a long few minutes, he decides he can't wait any longer and heads to your room. he doesn't want to push too soon, but he can't stand the thought of you hurting alone. lifting his hand to knock on the door, he calls out for you.

“y/n? can i come in?” hearing a muffled noise of approval from your side of the door, he hesitantly enters the room. the first thing he sees is you lying under the covers with your back facing him.

you feel a dip in the bed behind you as he sits next to your sad figure. not knowing what to say, he gently smooths down your hair, hoping to relieve you from even an ounce of your heartache. the tenderness of the act, although small, is enough for you to start crying again.

before jungwon came into the room, your mind was reeling with thoughts about how this is going to work out. how can you tell him that you need more from him when he’s already working himself to the bone for his career? you can’t put that pressure on him, so instead you came to the conclusion that maybe it’s time to let go. he deserves to focus on his career, and you can’t keep waiting for someone who's never fully present. when he starts petting your head to cheer you up, the guilt hits you like a truck. you sit up, thinking it’s better if you just bite the bullet now.

jungwon worriedly looks into your teary eyes, now filled with sadness and a hint of something more complex. he’s never seen you like this before, and it scares him. sure, he’s seen you cry before. many times actually. after all, you’ve been together for two and a half years. but usually, the first thing you do when you’re upset is lean to him for comfort. the second he opens his arms for you, you fall right into them. this time, it almost feels like you’re pushing him away, like you don’t want his help. and that terrifies him. 

his eyes are stuck on your wandering ones, as you don’t have it in you to look at him as you say this. jungwon’s hand goes to hold your cheek, gently urging you on, encouraging you to speak. he holds you so softly, so delicately, as if you’re the most fragile thing in the world. your eyes shut with guilt. you need to get it out now, before the moment slips away from you.

“jungwon, i don’t think i can do this anymore.” your eyes are still closed, afraid that seeing his face will make you regret your decision. the words leave your mouth much weaker than you intended them to, but jungwon hears you loud and clear. hoping you don’t mean what he thinks you mean, he asks for confirmation.

“what can’t you do anymore, darling?” although you can’t see him, you hear the shakiness in his voice, suggesting that he’s holding back tears. when you finally open your eyes, you’re met with the view of his glistening eyes and sad smile, as if he’s unable to accept your words.

your heart aches at his state, but you have to do this. for the sake of both you and him. “jungwon, please don’t make this harder than it has to be.” 

his heart shatters at that. disbelief, sadness, and anger seeps into his bones. harder than it has to be? his beloved girlfriend of almost three years is breaking up with him, is this supposed to be easy? 

what part of losing you could ever be easy?

“what? are you serious?” he manages to muster out, the words barely audible in his state of shock.

he stands up from the bed, hand going straight through his hair in frustration. “okay, y/n, what the fuck is going on? why are you doing this? you’re breaking up with me, for no reason, and you think i’m just going to be okay with it? what, you think i’m not going to fight for us?” 

“jungwon, i’m sorry--”

“no, y/n, you’re not sorry, because this isn’t happening. we’re not breaking up, because there’s literally no reason to.” he looks at you with a twinge of insanity lingering behind his eyes. have you lost your mind? no way in hell is he letting you go, especially when you two have been fine until now.

but now you’re starting to get frustrated with the tone he’s taking with you. jungwon’s talking to you like you’re crazy, as if this is something you decided on a whim. you’ve both raised your voices at each other before, but this time it feels like new territory. “alright, tone it down, jungwon.” you say, gentle but firm.

your demand seems to anger him even further as he stares at you with disbelief etched into his features.

“oh my god, y/n, can you even hear yourself? telling me to tone it down when you just tried to dump me, of course i’m going to be upset!”

“i really don’t want to fight right now—”

“do you think i want this to be happening right now? of course not! i just came back from tour and i’m so fucking tired. i don’t want to be here right now either!” the words slip out quickly, before he can even think about them. for a split second, his face twitches with a hint of regret, but he quickly masks it again when he sees your stare piercing into his.

at that, you snap. “yeah, i can tell! you never want to be here, and i know that because you never fucking are! you’re always off on tour or at group dinners, and i basically live by myself at this point!” the words spill out uncontrollably, too late to stop them even if you tried. your tears are all dry now, the previous feeling of sadness in your body now being replaced with anger.

“you’re never here, jungwon. and even when you are, it’s like i don’t even exist to you!”

jungwon blinks at your outburst. you’ve never vocalized these feelings before, and it takes him by surprise. he had no idea you felt this way.

“y/n, that’s not fair. this is my job—you knew this when we started dating.” his voice is calmer now, but there’s a hint of wariness, as if he’s trying to tread carefully, afraid that your frustration with his career might mean you’re really ready to walk away.

before you can respond, jungwon’s phone buzzes, interrupting the charged moment. he glances at the screen, and you can see the frustration carve deeper lines on his face. “it’s my manager,” he mutters, eyes narrowed. “i can’t believe this is happening right now.”

the irony makes you scoff, jungwon head snapping away from his phone to look at you. “this is what i mean, jungwon! i know it’s not your fault but i can’t keep doing this anymore! even when you’re with me, your mind is constantly somewhere else!” you exclaim exasperatedly.

“okay, y/n, but what am i supposed to do about that?” he yells out, his voice raising once again. “i just don’t know what you want from me right now. you knew about my job since we met, you knew what you were getting into,” he breathes out, frustration filling him to the brim.

“yeah, i know, and i thought i would be okay with it, but i can’t keep waiting for you like a sad puppy while you’re out having the time of your life with who knows who.” you don’t mean that. you know you don’t. but right now you can only see red, and all you want to do is hurt him the way you’ve been hurting. 

and that you did.

your words hit jungwon in the chest like a truck. of everything that’s been said today, this one hurts the most. as if his heart wasn’t already in pieces, it feels like an anvil has crashed down on the fragments, crushing them even further. his eyes fill to the brim with tears, and he does everything he can to keep them from falling.

as your words continue to sink in, hurt flashes in his eyes. “you think i’m out there having the time of my life? with “who knows who”? you really think i would cheat on you?” he looks at you incredulously as he says that, as if he can’t believe those words even came out of your mouth. jungwon’s voice is quieter now, everything coming out in a whisper. “you have no idea how hard it is for me to leave you every time i go on tour,” he sighs, his voice laced with frustration and shock. “i’m not some asshole who’s choosing this over you. i’m doing it because i care about us, y/n! it’s like you don’t even know me anymore.”

the pain in his voice goes straight to your heart, but you know you can’t stop now. “i barely do, jungwon, that’s what i’m trying to tell you! this relationship is going nowhere because we’re never around each other anymore… i thought i’d be able to handle you constantly being away but i guess i overestimated myself.”

jungwon lets out a bitter laugh at your remark. “overestimated yourself or your love for me?” he pauses for a second before continuing, “you know what, maybe you’re right. maybe it is best if we break up,” he looks at you, his sweet brown orbs now replaced with piercing feline eyes filled with anger and sadness, “because if you really loved me, you wouldn’t have given up this easily.” his fists are clenched tightly as he speaks, nails digging into his palms almost painfully. he doesn’t really want to break up, right now he’s just throwing your words back at you in a pathetic attempt to hurt you back.

your heart sinks at his words. “oh my god, jungwon, don’t you get it? it’s been like this for months now, this isn’t a new issue,” you stand up and face him, hands reaching out for his arms to hold him down, trying to ground him to get him to listen to you. “i’ve reached my limit, jungwon. we’re at two different stages in our lives right now, and i can’t keep spending my life waiting for you while you’re out living yours,” you say, your voice much more gentle now as you watch his eyes soften back into the adorable big brown eyes you’ve always loved to lose yourself in.

he squeezes his eyes shut, struggling to contain the whirlwind of emotions swirling within him. “i can’t help my job, y/n. i want to be there for you, but you’re acting like i’m actively choosing my job over you as if i have a choice... it’s just not that simple.”

“i know, none of this is.” your hands move to brush his overgrown bangs out of his face. silence hangs heavy between you, both of you grappling with your emotions. jungwon’s gaze flickers away, and for a brief moment, he looks lost. “i didn’t realize how hard this was for you,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “i just... i thought you understood.”

you soften at his sad tone, all the anger drained from your veins now. “i do, jungwon, but i feel so alone sometimes, and i can’t go on like this anymore. this is what’s best for us. for both of us.” despite the tears softly trickling down your face, your voice was steady, almost serene, as if you had been preparing yourself for this moment. jungwon’s confusion deepened, his brows knitting together as he tried to process the calmness that radiated from you.

“how can you be so calm about this?” jungwon asked with a sniffle, almost in disbelief. his voice had softened, but there was a hint of desperation behind it. “you’re just… okay with breaking up? just like that?” his heart drops to the bottom of his stomach with the realization that this is really happening. you’re really breaking up with him right now. his eyes fill with tears for the nth time this evening as he looks at you, waiting for an answer.

you met his gaze, and for a moment, jungwon saw a flicker of something he couldn’t quite place—was it resignation, or acceptance? he couldn’t tell, and that only made him feel more unsettled.

“i don’t know, jungwon,” you replied with a sigh, glancing away for a moment. “i’ve thought about this so much… and maybe i’ve just come to terms with it. we need different things, jungwon. you need someone who’ll be okay with your busy schedule, and i need someone who’s always going to be there for me.”

at your last sentence, jungwon’s resolve breaks, salty tears flowing out of his beautiful eyes. 

you need someone who’ll always be there for you. you’re saying you need someone else. 

hearing you say that you need more than him pains him to no end, as if each word is a dagger to his heart. he feels a surge of panic, the thought of a future without you consuming him. his mind races, replaying every moment, every laugh, every shared dream, and he realizes how much he’s taken for granted. he wants to scream, to tell you that he can change, that he can be better, but the words feel stuck in his throat. instead, he stares at you, feeling helpless and terrified, grappling with the reality that the love of his life feels abandoned in a relationship he thought was built on understanding.

jungwon’s face crumples at the thought of you needing someone else, his expression torn between hurt and understanding. “you’re right,” he says after a moment, his voice barely above a whisper. “i haven’t been giving you what you need, and i hate that i’ve made you feel so alone.”

your eyes widen as jungwon gets on his knees as he reaches for your hands, holding them tightly in his, as if anchoring himself. “y/n, i know i’ve been so focused on my job that i haven’t been there for you. but i don’t want you to feel like you need more than what i can give. i want to be enough for you—i need to be enough for you. i’m ready to change, to do whatever it takes to make this work.”

“jungwon—” he cuts you off as he notices your hesitancy to accept his words. 

“please, y/n. i’m not letting you go like this. not when i know i can give you what you need. just give me a chance to show you. please, baby, don’t leave me like this.” his hands are wrapped around your smaller ones, his watery, pleading eyes looking up at you as he begs you to stay with him.

you want to believe him, you really do. you’re just scared of nothing changing. he opens his mouth to speak again when he notices your silence. his grip on your hands tightens, as if he’s afraid you might slip away. “i know i’ve messed up,” he says, his voice raw and honest. “but i’m willing to fight for us. i’ll make time for you, i’ll change for you. just give me the chance to prove that i can be the boyfriend you deserve. the one you need.”

“please, princess, trust me.”

you feel a tear run down your cheek at his words. “i’m scared, jungwon. but i want to believe you. we can try again, but if things don’t change…” your words trail off, shaking your head while looking into his eyes, gesturing that this is his last chance.

“i understand, baby,” he replies, his tone earnest. “and i swear i’ll make it happen. i’ll show you that i can put you first. just please don’t walk away from me. i love you so much, y/n.”

“i love you too, jungwon.” you smile at him, a twinge of sadness still evident in your expression, a result of the heated argument you two just had. you pull him up by his cheeks, your lips meeting his a kiss filled with love, fear, and relief. you taste the saltiness of his tears on his lips as they continue to fall from his eyes. when you pull away from him, he gently drags you down onto the bed with him, his warm body enveloping yours in a tight embrace. you hear his uncontrollable sniffles coming from behind you, making you turn to face him. your hands instinctively move to his face to wipe his tears away, and his eyes close at the feeling of your fingers carefully treading his soft skin.

“wonie, baby, it’s okay, i’m here with you.” you whisper to him, kissing his nose in reassurance, trying to soothe his emotions that are still in the process of coming down from their high. his heart rate starts to slow at the sound of your sweet voice calling him by your nicknames for him again.

“i just can’t believe i almost lost you, princess. that was so scary,” your heart aches knowing that you made him hurt like that, but at the same time, you knew it had to be done. “please don’t ever do that to me again. i promise i’ll never give you a reason to feel like you need more than me ever again.” his hands move to rest on top of yours which are still placed on his cheeks.

“i won’t, baby. i didn’t want to hurt you, but i guess i needed you to understand how i felt. i never wanted to bring it up before because i didn’t want to add my needs to your already full plate.” you can’t shake the slight feeling of embarrassment that rises at the realization that this whole argument happened because you hid this one thing from him.

“you can always tell me anything, my love. your needs are my priority, your happiness being the most important thing to me over everything else in the world. please don’t ever think otherwise.” his eyes don’t leave your glossy, embarrassed ones as he speaks, ensuring that you remember his words. his chapped lips move to leave a soft kiss on your forehead, his lips barely grazing your skin as if he’s scared you’ll fade away at his touch. “and next time there’s something on your mind, please just tell me as soon as it comes up. slapping a bandaid on it is just going to let it fester and blow up again, and i can’t stress enough how badly i don’t want to lose you.” 

“i understand, wonie. i’m not going anywhere.”

he nods, relief washing over his features. “no more hiding our feelings, okay?” a small smile breaking through his tears.

“okay,” you promise, feeling the warmth of his hands still cradling yours, grounding you in the moment.

in that shared silence, you both know that challenges may still lie ahead, but you know you have each other. and right now, that’s more than enough.

Is This Love?

yang jungwon x reader [afab]

genre: fluff

concept: despite barely being of noble blood yourself there's nothing your family wants more for you than to find a man of high class and finally marry into a family of wealth and reputation. you aren't so taken with the idea, and instead find yourself gravitating to a man that your mother couldn't dislike more.

w/c: 4.7k

warning: regency era au, period typical racism and racist commentary (not graphic or violent, reader is heavily implied to not be of asian descent), period typical classist commentary, yearning, forbidden love

You’ve never really been one for parties, but it never fails that the sun of the summer tends to bring people out in droves to enjoy the sunshine and the warm weather. You’ve also never really cared for summer though, long evenings spent in your parlor, sitting in front of the fire with a hot pot of tea and a book have always been your preferred evenings but that’s quite a long way off. Right now, you’re being forced to languish away in hot skirts, fanning yourself in an effort to give yourself some kind of breeze and entertaining young suitors that you truly have no interest in. 

It’s all your mother’s doing. “You’re not getting any younger,” she reminds you day in and day out about your biological clock and how you’re running out of time. It doesn’t matter to you, the idea of bearing the children of these pompous, exhausting men is a nightmare in and of itself. If you never bear a child and spend the rest of your life being called ‘baren’ ‘cold’ and a ‘spinster,’ well, so be it.

“Oh, goodness,” your best friend whispers to you behind her own fan. The garden party today is crowded, so you’ve decided to seek refuge beside your best friend, despite the fact that she’s being trailed by her incredibly well meaning fiance. They’ll be getting married when the weather turns, it’s going to be a huge party, you’ve been helping her plan it since he proposed last autumn. Still, she’s your only lifeline that’s not either condescendingly commenting about how unfortunate it is you’ve not found a man yet or pushing said men directly onto you. 

“Something the matter?” You ask her, sipping delicately from your crystal glass. The water is tepid but it’s better than whatever booze concoction is in the communal drinking bowl. 

“Nothing,” she chirps but you simply lift a brow. “Did you happen to see who just arrived?” You shake your head but then slowly turn your head towards the entrance to the garden. “Late as always. No one taught the foreigner how to read a clock,” she comments. You glare in her direction for just a moment before turning back towards where the newest attendee of the garden party has entered. 

He’s a young man, about your age, with wide eyes, dark hair and he’s dressed impeccably in his charcoal grey suit. His hair is combed neatly away from his face and he’s greeting anyone who looks in his direction with a politeness they neither understand nor deserve. He’s always been this way, from the moment you met him last spring, transplanting from the far reaches of the East right into your back garden. If anyone had the slightest understanding of what they were looking at they would treat him better, at the very least because of the regality he seems to display and the handsomeness of his features. 

“An hour late,” your friend drones, rolling her eyes. 

“No later than you’ve ever been to a garden party. Might I remind you what kept you during all those balls during our school years?” You tease her. She harrumphs, turning to her fiance. 

“Darling, would you get me something to drink? This weather has me just parched,” she tells him. He goes without any other prodding and you smirk behind your fan. Once he’s outside of earshot she turns to you harshly. “Shut your mouth. What do you know about the things I did in our school years?” 

“You forget who covered for you so quickly?” You retort. She huffs, waving her fan around faster, as though it will be enough to cool the heat of her blush as it makes its way around her ears and up her neck. “Face it, you only say such things because you don’t care for him,” you insist. 

“As if I’m alone in that opinion,” she retorts haughtily. You don’t remember her being this petty when you were young, but you can’t very well be too surprised. She is marrying a Lord’s son and that’s sure to bring her a fair amount of social status. It makes her head the size of the moon some days, when she’s feeling especially like she suddenly deserves the world just because of who she’s going to be marrying. 

You’re just a Viscount’s daughter, which means you are owed quite a bit less status that she will inherit. Not that status has ever really mattered all that much to you. Your mother insists upon it, marrying up in the world. She did, after all, a lucky commoner’s child that happened to catch your father’s eye. Perhaps, to her, it is everything, but not you. 

You’d sooner marry for love than find yourself in a loveless, arranged marriage for the sake of your family name and nothing else. 

“Ladies.” While your friend has been harrumphing and grumping about his arrival, he’s clearly been making his rounds, finally finding himself at your side. You turn to him with a gentle smile, though your friend's politeness is clearly forced. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” he says, his voice lilting with a slight accent. 

“Well⁠—” 

“Of course not,” you’re quick to insist. You hear your friend huff at your side but you’re looking at the man before you, who smiles back at you. “Lovely to see you again, Lord Yang. How have you been?” 

“Quite well, thank you for asking. Kept busy,” he says, brushing a stray piece of hair out of his eyes. Your eyes follow the trail of his white gloved hands from his side to his hair and back down to his side. “And yourself, Miss?” He asks, which brings your attention back up to his face. Just the corner of his lips tilts upward in a sharp little smile, causing a dimple to appear in his cheek. 

“Well enough,” you reply and he lifts a brow. “Much to attend this season. I’ve been kept plenty busy with the various garden parties and balls that the noble are known to throw. I’m sure you’re much the same.” 

“Not nearly as well invited as you are, it seems,” he comments, grinning at you. “I suppose a lovely woman such as yourself must spend quite a bit of time with handsome suitors. Just as well, I heard you’re looking to be married.” 

“Not so soon,” you laugh off, shaking your head. “My friends are more the marrying types,” you say, looking over at your friend, who huffs but has a rather pleased smile hovering around her lips. 

“Ah, right. You’re betrothed to Lord Erikson, if I’m correct,” Jungwon says, turning to your friend. Her smile turns from forced to downright pleasured as she turns to face him fully, face half covered by her fan. She’s a taken woman, nothing pleases her more than being able to talk about it. 

“That is correct,” she lays on. 

The moment her awaiting marriage is mentioned, you’re left to do nothing else but stand by and listen to her regale Lord Jungwon Yang with all the glorious details of her upcoming marriage, the wedding, the manor she’ll be living in, everything bright and sparkling about being a bride-to-be. You’ve been listening to it for ages but Jungwon is a fresh set of ears to be forced to hear about it so you stand idly by, thankful to have Jungwon at your side because at least it’s a temporary shield against the many men who can’t seem to take a hint. 

Temporary is the problem, however. 

“Lady Y/L/N,” a gentleman says, coming to your side while Jungwon is being enthralled (unlikely) with the wedding plans of your school friend. You turn slowly towards him, forcing a smile to the surface despite how little you’d like to. “I understand you came to this event unattended. Might as well be a crime, a lovely woman such as yourself being left to fend for herself.” You blink at him slowly, lifting your fan towards your face. “If you’d like, I’d be more than willing⁠—” 

“I believe you got the wrong idea,” Jungwon says. You turn abruptly to him, your friend cutting herself off as soon as the words leave Jungwon’s mouth. He turns to the man at your side, tilting his head. “I don’t know quite know how as I’ve been standing here this whole time, but I assure you, Lady Y/L/N is quite well attended to for this event.” The suitor standing beside you blinks at him, stunned. “If you’d like to dance with her, you might think to ask the man attending to her, don’t you suppose?” 

“I wasn’t aware⁠—” 

“I didn’t think so,” Jungwon says. “You made that quite clear.”

The suitor clears his throat awkwardly, bending slightly at the waist in a bow to Jungwon and then straightens back up to ask, “if I may ask her hand for a dance? It would please me greatly.” He’s turned slightly to you, however, an obvious disregard for Jungwon’s opinion. You hide a smirk behind your fan, eyes downcast. 

“I’m afraid I was about to ask her to dance,” Jungwon informs him. The man turns back to Jungwon, startled by his boldness. “Thank you for your interest though.” The suitor turns to you, as though you’re going to rebuke Jungwon’s claim but you simply turn towards Jungwon. 

“You were?” You ask, tilting your head at him, lowering your fan a bit so he can see more of your face. 

“I was. It would’ve been terribly rude to interrupt your friend while she was speaking though.” He turns back to your friend, who is wearing a truly flabbergasted expression, having witnessed the entire exchange between the three of you. “I apologize for my rudeness, miss.” He bows slightly to her in apology. “You won’t mind if I take her hand in a dance though, would you?” He asks. 

“No,” she says, clearly too startled to deny him. 

“Wonderful.” Jungwon offers his hand to you. “Shall we?” 

You slide your gloved hand into his, feeling the heat of his hand in your own. Silently, you wish neither of you were wearing gloves so you could feel the full warmth of his palm against yours. This will have to do for now though as he leads you out onto the dance floor, your fan folded and hanging from your opposite wrist. 

It’s only once you’re on the dance floor, the bricked path beneath your feet, that Jungwon speaks again. 

“I apologize,” he whispers to you. You look at him to see him already looking at you. His gaze is gentle, staring at you with a kindness you’ve yet to see from the many suitors that have tried to take your hand before him. “I’m not usually so forward but, you see, I’ve waited all season to ask you to dance.” You blink at him, taken aback by his confession. “I’m not often invited to events like these so I had to seize my chance when it presented itself. I hope you weren’t too startled or offended.” 

“On the contrary, I was very impressed,” you inform him. A smile creeps its way across his lips again. “Not many men have the boldness that you do. Most men wouldn’t do such a thing for my attention. I am, after all, not that desirable.” 

“I don’t think you understand what that word means if you think that,” Jungwon retorts. “I’m afraid I’ve been working very hard to make my way through the crowds of men seeking your attention all season long.” You giggle, bringing your hand down from his shoulder to cover your mouth. “I know I’m not quite the man your family would prefer⁠—” 

“You’re a good man, Jungwon,” you interrupt him. His eyes widen in surprise at your bold statement. You feel warm with embarrassment at stating something so abruptly and interrupting him in the process. You cover your mouth with your hand again. “Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have⁠—” 

“Thank you,” he tells you. Your embarrassment dies down at his words and you look at him from under your lashes. “Not many people would say that to me.” 

“You shouldn’t listen to what other people think,” you tell him, resting your hand on his shoulder again. The hand on your waist tightens just a bit, pulling you the tiniest bit closer to him. It’s not unseemly, not yet, but your bust brushes the front of his suit jacket. The heat of him is close, his face just inches from your own. You truly think you could get lost in the depths of his dark brown eyes, even deeper and darker than the tea your mother makes in the winter months, yet twice as warm. 

“I’ll take that into consideration.” 

Though you hadn’t thought about it before, the longer you remain in Jungwon’s company the more you grow to like him. He’s sweet to you, kind and speaks with a gentle tongue. While others might find his lilting foreign accent distracting or uncouth, you don’t. It’s sort of handsome to you and when you’re done dancing, you spend the rest of the party in his presence. No one else approaches the two of you, after Jungwon’s abrupt and firm rebuke of the first suitor’s interruption, your hand wrapped around his bicep. You find his attention sort of all consuming, in the best way, the adoration in his eyes and the soft way in which he regards you. It’s enough that you sometimes find yourself hiding behind your fan to keep your composure. To say you’re taken with him would be an understatement for certain, assuring him on his parting that you want to see him at the next event you both will be attending. 

“I look forward to it,” he tells you, taking your hand in his. He bends at the waist, bringing your hand to his lips to gently kiss the back of it. Oh how you wish you weren’t wearing gloves, the mere thought of the soft touch of his lips to the back of your hand is enough to leave your heart racing. 

Others, however, don’t feel the same. 

“Do you think this is a joke? This isn’t just your life we’re talking about here!” Your mother explodes as you’re being fitted for a new gown. The poor seamstress that’s fitting your skirts around your waist is being forced to bear witness to the verbal lashing you’re receiving from your mother. You’re quite used to it though, keeping your composure as she speaks. “Do you have any idea what kind of scar you would put on your father’s name if you were to entertain such a man? I won’t have it!” 

“You don’t even know him,” you say, voice measured. 

“I don’t have to! You’ll not be wasting your time with some low life trader’s son!” She insists. 

“He’s a doctor,” you inform her, turning your head to look at her. She scoffs, arms crossed over her chest. “He’s gone to school and everything. Has his own practice. He’s a good man, with a good standing. Just because his father is a trader doesn’t mean he’s the same. He’s made something of himself!” 

“Made something!? He’s an Oriental, he’ll never make something of himself, Y/N, don’t be naive. He’s no more a doctor than that Chinese medical man who sells herbs on the street. You’re not to be mingling with the likes of him,” your mother warns you. “Do you have any idea the kinds of things people would say about you if you were to court him?” She asks, walking around to stand in front of you. You huff to yourself, not meeting her eye. “The kinds of things they would say about me, or your father, if you married someone like that?! I won’t have it. You have a reputation to uphold.” 

“You think he couldn’t carry father’s name?” You retort. 

“I’d hope the good Lord would strike me where I stand before I let something like that happen,” your mothers tells you. “Now you listen to me, you are not to be seen with him anymore. He is not going to court you and he is not going to attend you to any further events, do you understand?” You bring your gaze down to meet hers. “I don’t want you to even go near him. Don’t let him get any ideas. Do you understand me?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” you sigh. 

You knew this might happen. Your family has some very old fashioned ideas, your parents especially, and the idea that you might let someone like Jungwon attend to you, of course your mother couldn’t stand it. As stated, your reputation is everything to her, especially yours. She expects you to marry up, not down. Of course a simple man with a good job isn’t enough for her, he needs to be noble, of high class. Jungwon will never measure up to her. 

The next party you attend, you keep to yourself, eyes down, fan in front of your face. The heat is unbearable, so surely no one can blame you for the way you keep your fan close and up, keeping yourself covered. You don’t even dance, sitting away from the festivities, allowing the chatter of late season weddings, births and birthday parties wash over you. 

You glance up when a murmur runs through the crowd, an hour past the beginning of the party, just in time to see Jungwon enter the gardens. He’s dressed just as impeccably as before, though his suit is brown rather than grey. Still, you doubt he could ever look poorly, his handsomeness speaks for itself. You sigh to yourself, standing and walking away from the table. 

Perhaps it’s all a bit juvenile but the idea of being away from him is easier than trying to ignore him. After all, you can’t stop your feelings any more than you can stop your heart from beating. It’s all so sudden and yet, with one longing gaze, it’s all you can do to not ask Jungwon to ask for your hand right then and there. He’s a gentleman so he won’t, he’ll do whatever it takes, even if it means flowers and dancing and courting and admiration from afar until it’s socially acceptable to ask you to marry him. But you wish he wouldn’t, you wish he would just cut the chase. 

You’ve never cared for men who waste time. 

Hedge gardens are all a bit trite to you, but they’re fine places to think. Especially since no one will come looking for you, you can even go alone. So you do, finding yourself wandering through the thick maze of tall hedges, bright green and reaching above you, almost like trees. You fan yourself, glancing up at the unbearable sun, hoping for the day the air becomes crisp with the autumn wind and you can wrap yourself in shawls instead of sweating under your many skirts. You wonder if there’s a place where it’s like autumn all the time, if you could hope to live someplace like that. Someplace away from this, all of this meaningless nonsense regarding class and reputation. 

“I thought I might find you here,” someone says and you turn, finding Jungwon walking up behind you. He’s still a few paces away, a respectful distance between the two of you, especially since you’re alone here. “When I saw you leave, I worried I’d done something. But we’ve not even spoken since our last outing.” He stops a few feet from you and you lower your fan with a sigh. “Maybe that’s the problem. Should I have chased after you, sending you love letters and words of admiration so that you might miss me more?” He’s teasing you, you know it, but it makes you frown anyway. “What have I done?” He asks, moving to close the distance. 

When he steps forward, you step back, causing him to stop in his tracks. 

“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you,” you say and his expression drops into one of confusion and worry. “I think it would be best if you attended to someone else this summer.” 

“I don’t want to attend to anyone else this summer,” Jungwon informs you. “I thought you wouldn’t want me to,” he adds, walking towards you again. You stumble backwards, only to bump directly into a hedge, causing you to stop. You glance at it, betrayed by your own clumsiness, and then look back at him. He closes the distance until he’s only a foot or so in front of you. “Have you changed your mind?” 

“I…” He tilts his head at you, “have. Yes.” 

“I see,” he sighs. “Well, I apologize for wasting your time.” Your frown at him, hurt. “I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.” He takes your hand gently in his, bending at the waist and kissing the back of your hand again. Your heart flutters like it did before, Jungwon lifting his gaze to look at you from under his lashes. “Have a lovely summer, Lady Y/L/N.” 

You sigh softly as he lets go of your hand. He leaves you, walking back out of the hedge maze and, presumably, back to the party. You huff to yourself, turning your fan over between your hands, despondent. 

Your mother, as expected, is nothing less than thrilled when you tell her about the exchange. 

“Well, I should hope so,” she says, enjoying her tea in the garden, fanning herself. “That young man is finally learning his place.” 

“I suppose he is,” you mutter to yourself, staring down at your hands. 

That evening the night falls, dark but illuminated by a silver, full moon. You dress down into your nightgown, the late summer turning into autumn as soon as the sun goes down. You find yourself wrapped in a long housecoat, shuffling to the window in your slippers. You open the window, leaning out to let the crisp night air caress your skin. Though the courting season might be ending, perhaps you will finally find solace once more in the quiet days and cold nights. It’s the least you can hope for. 

You’re startled by the sound of rustling. You look out towards your garden wall, nervous of what might be happening. The leaves on the ivy that drapes down the sides of the wall shiver and rustle in the night air but it sounds heavier and heavier the longer it goes on. You lean out over your window sill, watching out for what might be causing such a ruckus at such a late hour. 

He appears over the top of the garden wall, heaving himself up and over the top. Your mouth drops open with a gasp when the moonlight illuminates his features, making his wide eyes seem even darker, his smirk coming into focus. Jungwon sits on the edge of the garden wall, suit jacket and waistcoat gone, tie missing and first few buttons undone like some kind of rascal from your romance novels. He looks up at you, hands on the top of the wall. 

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel,” he calls out, making you laugh and shake your head at him. 

“You shouldn’t be here!” You insist, trying to keep your voice down but still trying to make sure he can hear you. 

“I shan’t go until you speak with me. A young man’s heart is nothing to toy with, princess,” Jungwon tells you. You lean against the window frame, smiling sadly. “Come to my side, tell me your woes. I’ll do whatever I can to ease them.” 

“I assure you, you cannot,” you sigh. His expression softens as he looks up at you. “It is not your heart that is being toyed with, prince charming. I assure you.” 

“A princess’ heart is not one for games, of this I’m sure,” he replies. “Come down from your ivory tower so that I may offer you solace.” 

It’s a tempting offer. You glance back at your bedroom door, knowing well your parents must be asleep by now. Only your bedside lamp burns in the entire house. You turn back to him, Jungwon looking up at you with hopeful eyes. After this afternoon, his bright eyes make you ache for his side once more. You can’t help but notice he’s without his gloves, dressed down in what is surely an unseemly way, you are as well. Yet you long for the touch of his bare skin against yours, even if it’s just his palm clasped in your hand. 

“Will it be in your arms?” You ask.

“I desire nothing less,” Jungwon says, voice aching with conviction. You smile, reaching out to close your window. 

You snuff out your lamp as quickly as you can, then gently open your bedroom door. You must creep, as silently as you can, from your bedroom to the first floor, then make your way through the estate to the doors to the back garden. When you get there, you carefully ease that door open as well, closing it with a soft hand. You rush out into the middle of the garden, still dressed only in your housecoat and nightgown, looking for him.

“Was it my arms you wish to find solace in?” A voice speaks from the darkness and you turn towards it. Jungwon walks towards you, hands in his pockets. You rush towards him, his hands leaving his pockets so he can catch you when you run into his chest, your arms wrapping around his neck. Jungwon bundles you into his arms, holding you against him.

It’s the first time he’s ever held you, but you sink into the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around your body, the weight of him against you, the warmth of him seeping into you. You rest your cheek against his shoulder, hugging him to you. If this is the only time you’ll be able to do this, you’ll not forget it for the rest of your life. 

“So you haven’t changed your mind,” he whispers into your hair. You pull back to meet his gaze. “You never did. Did you?” 

“No,” you whisper. “My mother⁠—” 

“She doesn’t approve,” Jungwon says. You nod slowly. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. A woman such as yourself isn’t meant to marry beneath her, after all.” You frown at him. “I’m not worth much to them. I’m just a trader’s son⁠—” 

“Your status doesn’t mean anything to me. Marrying someone for status is useless. What about love?” You reply and his expression turns soft. “What about marrying someone because you love them? Because they make you feel happy and full and good in their presence? What about that?”

“Women like you aren’t supposed to yearn for love,” Jungwon says, lifting a hand to your cheek. “Love won’t bring you things you most desire.” 

“If love is not what I most desire when you do not understand what that word means,” you reply. He smiles at you, stroking his thumb over your cheek. 

“Run away with me?” He asks. 

“So suddenly?” You reply, staring up at him. “What if you grow bored of me?” 

“Do you think I’m the type to grow bored of people easily?” Jungwon asks. “I assure you I’m not.” 

“Of people? No. Of lovers? Perhaps,” you reply. His eyes widen, a smirk making its way across his lips. “You don’t see me as a temporary lover, do you?” 

His lips press to yours suddenly. It’s like he’s taken the breath from your lungs, your body paralyzed in his hold. His fingers hold you gently in place with a tenderness you’ve never experienced, your arms wrapping around his neck tighter once more. Jungwon’s hand guides you to tilt your head, his opposite arm wrapping tightly around your waist. 

You’re not courting, he’s not even attended you more than once, but you grip at his shirt, holding him tightly against your body, chasing the feeling of his mouth against yours. It’s an earth shattering kiss, one that makes it feel as though the entire world has melted away underneath your feet. Your knees are weak but he holds you up, keeping your body pressed against his own. He kisses you with a recklessness you have never known, a passion that makes you feel dizzy and lightheaded when he pulls away from you. 

“I’ve never had a lover before you,” he confesses, “and I don’t plan on ever having another after you.”

a/n: sometimes, it's about the ✨ romance ✨ it's about the longing, the yearning. that's what it's all about this time, baby. hope you enjoyed 💕

taglist: @ducksstolemybread @dr0wnme0ut @destinyhoon @emisloves @alvojakereblogs @lilyuwon @oddracha @skzenhalove @nyfwyeonjun @bunhoons @ministrawberrywithchocolate @heeshlove @nshmrarki @zeeloveshee @nyxtwixx @manifestobackshot @onlyuyu @in-somnias-world @hoonmine @shawnyle @aileeeeeeeeeeeee @llpovi @jiminie-08

Boyfriend! Jungwon x girlfriend! Reader

Baby, you're so preciou-ciou-ciou-cious!

You were watching your boyfriend, Jungwon, brush his teeth, finally spitting out the foamed up toothpaste, rinsing his mouth and drying it with his face towel. Your head tilted as you stood up and grabbed his towel, tapping his plushy lips gently before hanging it up again.

The action made Jungwon look at you with fondness, his smooth cheeks turning rosy as he gently placed his hands to rest on your hips, pulling you closer and kissing your nose. "Thank you, love." He said softly and nuzzled his face into your hair, inhaling the gentle smell of your shampoo since you had taken a shower previously.

You hummed in response and shimmied closer to him, burying your face in his neck and throwing your arms over his broad shoulders. You placed a gentle kiss on his jaw, before looking up at him with a smile. "Now let's go to bed, Wonnie! You were taking too long!" Your soft voice rang his eardrums pleasantly, a soft chuckle leaving him as he nodded.

"Yes, yes, ___ie, let's go." He said and placed a kiss on your forehead, feeling as your hand gently wrapped around his wrist to eagerly tug him out, which made him chuckle a bit more.

Once back to your shared bedroom, he flopped on the bed with a grunt, and you flopped on top of him, eliciting another grunt from him before a chuckle left him. Before he got the chance to wrap his arms around you, you got back up, off of him and flopped down beside him, grabbing one of your favorite plushies and closing your eyes as you cradled it close.

Jungwon looked at you with a deadpan expression, a whine leaving his lips as he tried to tug the plushie out of your hands. "___ie, we talked about this! No plushies during sleep! I like holding you!" He said, which caused you to whine louder than he did, a pout forming on your pillowy lips.

You cradled the stuffed animal closer, a huff leaving your nose. "But I wanna hold it!" You whined out, before pulling the one card Jungwon could never resist - puppy eyes -

Something about the way you manipulated your pretty eyes to look rounder and more innocent, the way you looked at him through your cutesy eyelashes, the way your eyebrows furrowed slightly and the way that sweet, adorable pout rested on your cute lips made it impossible for him to say no to anything your precious heart and brain wanted.

He groaned and huffed, whining as he tried to plead with you. "D... Don't do that, baby... you are playing dirty!" He said softly, which only made your pout grow bigger and your eyelashes to bat gently at him.

He groaned again and sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair in defeat. "Fine... you don't play fair, baby..." he said, a giggle of accomplishment leaving your lips as they curled into a smile.

You turned around and cuddled your plushie close, and felt his arms snaking around you, spooning you from behind. He buried his face into the back of your neck and closed his eyes, pressing a gentle kiss before humming quietly. "Goodnight, precious..." He said softly, the soft, sweet nickname causing your heart to flutter before it slowed down and you closed your eyes as well, mumbling a soft 'I love you too, Wonnie...', which brought a small smile to his lips as you both drifted to sleep, tangled in a gentle embrace.

This had me giggling and kicking my feet the entire time while reading cause is so cute and pure gonna read again and again

wishlist — yang jungwon. best friends to lovers. fluff.

synopsis. jungwon doesn’t understand why you won’t just tell him what you want for your birthday. clueless and determined to give you the best present, jungwon is left at a crossroad. instead of getting it wrong, he might just… confess? (7.1k words)

note. since 2022 is ending, i only saw it fit to write something for my bias based on my spotify wrapped top song. drum roll please … wishlist by txt! i have also missed writing for jungwon so i hope this is good!

I. 30 days before d-day

Yang Jungwon would like to think his meticulous 15-step plan for your birthday was going perfectly.

Despite still having a month until the celebration, he had prided himself in his preparations. A surprise birthday party should always be in order for his person where he can quietly hide his feelings, yet show them at the same time – through platonically giving you a bouquet of your favorite flowers, and writing a lengthy letter on how much you mean to him as a friend.

It is your birthday anyway, and he thinks you need to be reminded everyday of how loved you are. Nevermind if his love has seeped past the boundaries between platonic and romantic. You didn’t need to know that.

So, with 14 steps down his plan, he’d like to think it was going perfectly.

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