Members:leehan X Gender Neutral Reader

members: leehan x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, neighbors au

wc: 0.7k (blurb for an incoming oneshot!)

tw: insects

imagine leehan as your next-door neighbor when you move in your new unit. a month passes by and you develop a amicable relationship with him. your first, distant impression of him as the guy with a fish tank in his apartment slowly evolves into a positive one. while you wouldn't exactly say you trust him with your life, you can definitely rely on him for spare ingredients.

except the former gets put to the test pretty early—which leads to your current predicament. you've pressed yourself against the corner of your apartment, heart beating a mile a minute. you can feel a headache gradually growing as you attempt to figure out your next move. you have two choices:

plan a: you hunt down the wicked creature and dispatch of it as it casts its final breath, or

plan b: you pack up everything you own and move to the next city.

of course, you know deep down inside you would never carry out plan a—because cockroaches are your biggest fear. butterflies? their wings are pretty. millipedes? watching them slowly crawl their way from point a to b is cute. bees? even more adorable, and you're in awe of their power to sustain the ecosystem. but cockroaches? for the love of all that is holy, no. you would rather skydive than be in the same room as one. you've resolved to believe that, truly, not all insects are created equal (and roaches belong in hell).

but before you can even start shoving all your belongings into your luggage to make a run for it, a knock sounds at your door. not knowing who it is, you slowly creep towards the entrance, keeping your back to the wall in case the vile creature decides to make a run for you. once you're there, you call out, "who's there?" you try to sound unaffected, but the waver in your voice is obvious.

"it's me," the person on the other side of the door responds in a low, melodious voice. leehan! you thrust the door open and without thinking, you quickly circle him and use him as your shield. your neighbor makes a questioning hum, and you realize how rude you're being. still, you can't find it in yourself to face him like normal.

"what's this?" leehan asks amusedly, referring to your abrupt, awkward position. as he makes a move to turn around, you grip the back of his shirt with both hands.

"no!" at this, he pauses. instead, he tilts his head to look back at you, and you start rambling. "there's. a cockroach in my apartment. it's actually huge, monstrous even, like the size of my palm. i didn't know they could grow to be that big. or maybe it's an anomaly and it's actually evil and is strategizing to take me out for good. can you kill it please leehan. please, oh god."

at the end of your tirade, leehan is making a pensive sound. "so... you're scared of cockroaches?"

"was it not obvious enough!? yes, yes, yes a thousand times. please, leehan, this is literally so embarrassing and we aren't even close like that but please kill it for me."

close like what, leehan wants to ask, but he chooses not to comment on that. "alright," he sighs, "i'll kill it for you." as he tries to disentangle himself from you, you panic, taking it as a sign that your neighbor's about to abandon you for good. squealing, you wrap your arms around leehan's middle, squeezing him tight as you shake.

"leehan please don't go." as if this situation couldn't get any more humiliating, tears start dripping down your cheeks as you bury your face in leehan's back. hearing your sniffles, leehan finally understands the severity of your fear and how much his presence means to you.

in the midst of your bawling, you feel a warm hand pat your entwined arms. "it's okay," leehan soothes you, "i promise i won't leave you alone." he finally extricates himself from you as you stare fixedly at the floor, hands clutching at his. "come on, won't you look at me?" with your tear-blurred vision, you look up at your potential savior, who looks as gentle as ever. he's got a warm, comforting gaze and a steady grip on you. "i got you. do you believe in me?'

when you slowly nod, leehan steels his resolve and steps into your apartment. "now let's go exterminate this creature."

like, rb, and let me know what you think of my writing!

taglist 𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆ @loserlvrss @lionhanie @myungjaesgf @sunnyhaki @woorcve @dorislitterbox @dearly-somber

i just swooned reading this... i believe in love i really do !!!!!!! this was so soft and sweet!

but I like you ! ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ (bnd)

₊˚୨୧𓂃 boynextdoor crush headcanons! genre: fluff. word count: 3k. warnings: none. requested: yes! ♡ note: I've been super burnt out lately so not sure how this turned out.. I tried to proofread but there might be mistakes that slipped so sorry abt that! pls let me know your thoughts, hope you like it! likes & reblogs are v much appreciated! — with love, cream <3 . . . @onedoornet

sungho

𓏵 idk why, but I think sungho is the type to fall for someone after the other person shows interest in him. don't ask me ok.. I just get this vibe. he strikes me as someone who doesn't get crushes a lot and usually wouldn't bother with things like this. but if you show him you really care for him and that you're serious abt your feelings for him, it won't take long for him to warm up to u. his heart would flutter at your tiniest actions, at the minimal touches and subtlest of sentences.. if you full on flirt with him, be prepared to have him in a puddle at ur feet. he's just so shy when it comes to stuff like this (,,> <,,)♡ so, in conclusion: make him blush and his heart is yours <3 hehe

𓏵 I think this tendency of his would most likely stem from the fact that he doesn't want to date casually, especially if there's no long-term commitment involved. he doesn't wanna waste his time on someone, if he knows they don't take this relationship as seriously as he does! if they don't love him to their heart's content, just like he would. he wants his partner to be sure about him and he wants a relationship with equal love, effort and loyalty from both sides. basically, he wants forever, or nothing. what a dream he is.. gosh ꒰ ᐢ ◞‸◟ᐢ꒱

𓏵 if you do manage to somehow strike his interest and make his heart flutter, he won't have much of a choice but to catch feelings for you hehe. he's so adorable actually, bcuz just imagine how cute sungho would be in love.. I'm actually melting at the thought pls. he'll go home that day all dazed and floaty and he'll stay up all night thinking abt you. (with a silly lovesick smile on his pretty face ʕ´-ﻌก̀ʔ) I'm devastated at the mere thought u guys :’(

𓏵 if you're close friends, he'll take care of you so so diligently, but silently. like if you fall asleep during movie night he'll cover you with a blanket and turn down the volume, so you can rest in peace. he'll never let you walk on the outside of the sidewalk, and will always always remind you to eat well! <3

𓏵 imagine having sleepovers w sungho :( you guys would make a little late night snack together, laughing among yourselves the whole time. then you'll cozy up on the couch to watch a film (that only you wanna watch, but he'll agree bcuz he wants to make you happy <3) you would probably pause the movie at times to discuss the scenes. but instead of becoming frustrated, he'll listen to all your yapping </3 eventually you'd both drift off, and you'll somehow end up waking up wrapped in his arms the next morning.. ૮ / / / ⍝ა ♡ (I need to experience a friends 2 lovers with sungho rn!!! (╥﹏╥)..)

riwoo

𓏵 I feel like riwoo is the type of person who requires deep emotional connection, before there is any possibility of developing a romantic attraction toward someone. this would mean that he doesn't get crushes as often, but when he does have one, it's super intense, and so important to him! like he is probably already in love with you before you can even clock his crush on u lol. I think he's just someone who loves in secret, in the safe premises of his own mind, where anything is possible and nothing could go wrong. he constantly daydreams about the idea of being with you and thinks up uncountable scenarios.. in them he can hold your hand or kiss your cheek, while in reality he settles for gazing at you from afar with utter longing.. ( ˊᵕˋ ♡) he's a real hopeless romantic </3

𓏵 he will probably be the type to become friends with someone before catching feelings for them! on the one hand, for him this would mean knowing you so so well, that he's very comfortable with you, trusts you with all his secrets and fears, and thinks of you as one of, if not the most precious person in his life. <3

𓏵 but on the other hand.. this type of connection also creates ground for casual intimacy that only the best of friends share among each other. meaning you're just so so close to him sometimes that he could count each eyelash and freckle/beauty mark of yours ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ his breathing would come to a halt each time, as if he's afraid you'd notice the drumming beat of his nervous heart, or that if he let even a puff of air escape his mouth, this moment would break and shatter into tiny pieces..

𓏵 in all honesty, he himself is confused by these conflicting feelings, wanting to have you close (maybe even closer than this ><) but being unable to calm his heartbeat. you could imagine he'd be a blushing mess regardless of what happens hehe, his heart flutters even when you call his name or simply acknowledge his presence. he just adores you, okay? <3

𓏵 sweet boy would stay up with you when you have to revise for an exam, and bring you hot cocoa to drink as you study <3 he'll be so extra quiet. when your eyelids start drooping and he notices your head getting heavy, he'll slip his hand under it so it doesn't hit the table. at first he thinks of waking you, but he'll just lay his head next to yours as he admires your peaceful, sleeping face. staring at u with stars in his eyes (っ ॑꒳ ॑c) ₊⊹

𓏵 bonus: he'll love to communicate w you in lil written notes! <3 he'd leave you a snack, or a book you wanted to borrow or sth, with a tiny sticky note attached to it, that says “enjoy” or “I hope you like it!!” he'll always add smiley faces too :( cutie. x

jaehyun

𓏵 I think jaehyun would become an inseparable part of your life so so quickly and smoothly, you wouldn't even notice that you guys are best friends. hehe (⑉> ᴗ <⑉)ゞ it's so fascinating how seamlessly he slots himself to fit every aspect of your life.. almost entirely naturally integrating within your friend group, your classes and even your free time!

𓏵 he's someone who'd, I feel like, take each and every slight chance to chime into the conversation just to say something useless, as long as it means he can talk to you. ( ´. .̫ .`) </3 if he sees you on the street, he'll always try to catch your attention somehow, and if you let him, he's more than happy to treat you to a snack! and in classes that you both share, he'll be rushing over to secure the seat beside yours, smiling at you with sparkly eyes when he reaches the desk (﹡ˆ﹀ˆ﹡)♡ so basically he's like a puppy that won't leave you alone, because of how much he loves you :(

𓏵 he is so overly energetic and enthusiastic when he's with you! (well just in general too, but especially w u ><) he's going to pester the heck out of you, to hang out w him, bcuz he wants to spend all his time w you :( lovely boy <3

𓏵 prepare to laugh to your heart's content when you're with him! cuz he'd always end up making an absolute fool of himself when trying to cheer u up, but it's just the cutest thing :(

𓏵 it's his favorite thing whenever he gets to be with you, no matter what you're doing.. as long as you're spending some time together, he's fine with whatever. he'd settle for simply admiring you as you do your work, finding you so lovely and cute in any and every situation :(

𓏵 he's soo the type to impulsively blurt out how cute he thinks you are, but he doesn't really care if you know that he thinks ur cute. he'll only get shy if it's you complimenting him.. and if he gets shy, he'll be so shy, like. he'll start furiously blushing and hiding his reddened cheeks ໒꒰ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩꒱ྀི১ gosh he's so so adorable :( </3

𓏵 he'll tell you to find him whenever you struggle with your work, that he'll be more than happy to help out!! and he will always always keep his word and show up for you. he'll be available any time you need him, and he'll make time for you even if he's swamped with work himself.. ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა ♡ he's more than willing to do this much, (and more) not bcuz he wants you to like him (well maybe just a little bit) but because it just comes naturally to him, to care for you and to be there for you, no matter what it is you're dealing with.. he's always so so happy to help! <3 (I'm gonna go cry now if you'll excuse me) T_T

taesan

𓏵 this baby.. I'd actually name him as the shyest one among everyone. he strikes me as someone who'd love just so gently, putting meaning into the most subtle actions/words and only hoping you'd catch on.. what a darling boy.. <3 I can picture just how his beautiful eyes would shift to you the second you appear in his view.. never once leaving your face ૮ / / / / ა shyly looking over at you from a distance, admiring you with the tiniest of smiles on his lips. or even when he hears your name being called, he immediately perks up, searching for you in the crowd <3

𓏵 he'd be so head over heels for you, gosh.. to him you're simply perfect. in his eyes no one compares to you, and he likes and admires everything about you.. if taesan loves you, he'll love you with all your strengths and flaws. and once you enter his heart, he won't let u go ｡ ˚. ૮Ꮚ ´͈ ⁄⁄`͈꒱ა you'll be in his thoughts 24/7, he'd hand over his heart to you if you only asked.. he's simply so so deeply in love that everything and everyone becomes a blur when he sees you. you're his biggest weakness and his most treasured person <3

𓏵 he's that quiet, mysterious but interesting boy that never talks to anyone unless it's necessary. it'd seem impossible for him to even strike up a conversation with u as there's no adequate situation. he'll be sad, maybe even a bit envious of people who can just go up to you like it's nothing, and to call out your name like it's just a word, and not his most favorite one.

𓏵 you two would probably only get to talk in the most unlikely situation, like maybe you'll bump into each other by chance somewhere. hmm.. a record store?.. ooh! or maybe an art supplies store! (cuz you know how he's super into customizing his clothes with paint!) in any case, it'll be a bit awkward, sure, but I feel like this encounter would break the ice for your friendship and give him courage to actually start speaking to you. (which he will, as much as he can, if he gets a chance and if he's brave enough <3) I can imagine him replaying the whole encounter over and over in his mind after, smiling at the memory of you complimenting his music taste/clothes.. so giddy at the thought that you, his favorite person, find him cool. how cute, shy little kitty </3

𓏵 he'll be so enthusiastic to talk you abt different shared interests of yours! you'll get to see different sides of him as you guys get closer. the initially shy, quiet boy will turn into the most adorable, excitable kitty when he's with you <3

𓏵 I can definitely see him being a little clingy too hehe (◠ﾵ ◠υ) he'll want to tag along with you wherever you go, and will send you random videos/memes he comes across that he knows you'll like :( when you spend time w other friends of yours, he always finds himself subconsciously wishing that he's your favorite one.. he just wants all your love :( guys he's so precious I'll cry.

leehan

𓏵 I wholeheartedly believe leehan will be the most adorable while crushing akdhskslksdjd I have solid reasoning behind this btw! just looking at how closely he holds all and everything he likes/loves, I can tell he's someone who loves so effortlessly! idk how to describe it, but his love just comes so naturally.. he fully indulges in the thing/person. ig you could say he's very thorough with how he loves. like idk (this might be a bad example lol but) if we consider his love for his fishies, or the way he cares abt his members.. I just firmly believe he'll carry you in his heart always and gaze at you with a permanent sparkle in his eyes, if he likes you even just a bit.. he's so lovely :(

𓏵 for him being in love would be kinda overwhelming, because his thoughts would always revolve around you, making it hard for him to focus and concentrate. but at the same time he finds it so fascinating how everything reminds him of you, when he's doing his work or shopping or taking a walk or even as he begins his day, you're always there w him! it makes him so happy! ⁄(⁄ ⁄>⁄-⁄<⁄ ⁄)⁄ also kinda shy and nervous, but super super excited as well! <3

𓏵 you know, it's great, bcuz now when he wakes up you're right there in his mind along w his fish friends first thing in the morning! (៸៸᳐>⩊<៸៸᳐)~♡ and he can't help but just bask in the feeling. his heart warms and speeds whenever he thinks of you and he likes the fact that you're the one who has this effect on him. he's so in love u guys, omg…

𓏵 imagine ihan all wrapped up in these mushy lovey dovey thoughts abt you as he feeds his fishies, and he accidentally spills too much fish food.. but he's like all giggly abt it when usually he'd be annoyed at himself.（๑ ᷇ 𖥦 ᷆๑)♡ I'm losing my mind. he'd be so adorable gosh

𓏵 idk why, but I think he's the type of friend that would just randomly get you lil snacks sometimes. like he doesn't know how to express his feelings so he'll try and take care of you in his own way <3 if he knows you're studying, especially. you go to find sth in your bag for a second, and when you look back at the table there's a chocolate bar resting next to ur books. (with leehan across the table is just smiling to himself, as if he doesn't know what's going on.. silly baby <3)

𓏵 very big on acts of service w this guy.. especially when it comes to making sure you eat well <3 he loves loves a 1000x adores watching you enjoy your food, and always makes sure he brings along some kind of snack when he's meeting you, just in case u get hungry .°ʚ(〃ω〃)ɞ°. gosh I could d*e from how much he hurts my heart.. precious baby <3

woonhak

𓏵 I've got a feeling that he'd be trying so hard to impress you if he has a crush on you.. ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა baby will do anything to get your attention and to make you smile/laugh! ⊹₊˚✩ he'll go as far as doing the silliest things and spurting the most random jokes to get you to look at him. he'll never let the conversation fall silent, or the mood to go sour. he's the energetic, lively friend in the group, who's (unofficially) been assigned the role of the moodmaker! <3

𓏵 when he makes a joke in a group setting, he's usually doing it to make you smile, so the first thing he does after, is looking toward you to see your reaction.. ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶აˎˊ˗ if you're smiling he'll be so happy :( butterflies in his tummy and all <3 what a cutie.

𓏵 on the flip side though, he'll try to leave a good impression on you, he wants to look the best in your eyes! he'll tell you all abt his interests and ask about your interests as well, so he can have something to talk abt with you! he'll probably exaggerate on his part a bit, but it's all because he wants you to think he's cool :( <3 if there's something that you share in common, he'll use it as an excuse to talk to you more often. hehe.

𓏵 he might just ask for your number and when you ask why does he need it, he'll explain it's so that you guys can talk about this interest of yours over text.. he's trying so so hard not to let his excitement show when you agree. (but oh my gosh you actually agreed!!!! ໒꒰ฅ́ ˘ ฅ̀꒱১ᦂ) he's probably totally the happiest he's ever been, with your number in his phone now, having the ability to text you whenever he wants.. (ृ´͈ ᵕ `͈ ृ ) he can't believe you actually gave it to him :( what a baby. (dw tho, he won't abuse this fact too much, he'll only text you when he really wants to talk to you, but he'll also make sure to give you plenty of space! <3)

𓏵 I think woonie would be so annoying when it comes to compliments lol. when you become close friends especially, he gives little compliments any chance he gets. he will always mean them too! (﹡ˆ﹀ˆ﹡)♡ (no matter how random they are) like when he tells you that you're the strongest person he's ever met while playing some game together, or when he takes notice of your new shoes, saying how much they suit you, and when he sees your incredibly inaccurate doodle of some character, telling you how cute it is.. he means it all! ⸜( ˶'ᵕ'˶)⸝♡ secretly finding everything about you adorable. he'll compliment you endlessly, bcuz he just wants you to know how awesome you are and how much he likes/admires you! cutest cutest boy <3 <3

hi everyone! hope you've all been okay 🩷 sorry i've been inactive, i'm still pretty busy but i'm hoping to write a little something for barista! leehan in the coming week... so watch out for that 🫧☕️☁️

hi everyone! i'll be away for a bit, i've been involved in lots of exciting opportunities outside of writing fic (in the art field this time). still, they're seriously energy and time consuming events, so i won't be able to write as much! <3 those aside, i'm hoping to have some time to design and sew apparel, my hands are itching to create honestly!!!

no promises on when exactly i'll post, so please be patient as i work on your requests and my wips offline. (∩˃o˂∩)♡

mutuals who want to stay in contact, i am a message away on discord! (˶˘ ³˘(´͈ ᵕ `͈˶) meanwhile, take care always and i hope you're all eating and sleeping well. my inbox is always open for anything you'd like to share (づ˘͈ᵕ˘͈)づ

barista leehan x art student reader is in the works! let me know if you want to be tagged <3

like rain, we fell (in love)

Characters: idol!Jaehyun & female reader

Setting & genre: idol au with simpism and loserism, an attempt at comedy, very heavily inspired by Lovely Runner

Summary: Jaehyun met you on a rainy day before debut. Almost 5 years later he is an established name in the industry, the nation’s puppy boyfriend. When he meets you again, idol image be damned he won’t miss this chance.

Warnings: birth names are used, mentions of uncertainty, dieting, stress, exhaustion, sasaengs and similar things idol life can bring; idol life and dating culture is still taken a lot lighter than reality to spare the angst. there is one drunk man threatening the mc at one point but nothing physical happens. after the time skip, the boys are aged up because we’re fast forwarding to 2027 which also means there are a bunch of made up things about bnd’s future. even though i tried my best to research predebut things, this fic in no way tries to depict real lives. all characters are fictional and not actual representation of the boys.

Words: 9.7k

Author’s note: ever since i finished the drama i had the idea written down with an idol mentioning his first love on live just like how Ryu Sunjae did. initially it wasn’t for Jaehyun but then he dropped his Sonaki cover and he gives off the vibes, doesn’t he? when the MAC advertisement is mentioned, imagine something like this

@restlessmaknae at this point, i'm not even saying anything... just enjoy <3

3 MONTHS BEFORE DEBUT

It was raining on the day Myung Jaehyun met you.

It was a particularly exhausting day, the bad kind. Normally he didn’t mind the ache in his muscles, proof of their hard work nor being so damn tired after getting back to the dorms past midnight that he could barely remember to wash up before falling to bed. But there were these kinds of days when dragging themselves home from the practice room felt like something they were undeserving of, when doubts were too loud as their dance teacher’s words about still not being synchronized enough rang in their ears. He could tell it was affecting all of them.

The car ride back to the dorms was often quiet so late at night as they tried to catch every bit of sleep they could but it was often filled with snacking, watching videos and small talk too. It was rarely this tense, so thick that it lingered in the air. Jaehyun could tell that nobody could sleep this time even if Dongmin pretended to with his eyes closed, hoodie up and headphones over his ears. Woonhak looked like he was one more scolding word away from tearing up and usually Jaehyun would have been the one who tried to lighten up the mode, who joked around, who poked and teased and babbled until the tension broke and they laughed. But that day, it was too much, he couldn’t think of anything to say, nothing that could have cheered them up so close to the final evaluation, so close to messing up their chance for debut.

When the car halted in front of their dorm building, everybody scurried out of the van with half-hearted goodbyes to the staff member who gave them the ride. Jaehyun was the last one to get out of the car, his sports bag felt heavy on his shoulder and his still damp fringe hung into his eyes. He felt uneasy going back to the dorm, knowing he wouldn’t sleep anyways, so his steps slowed down, unsure, even after the van left. It was Sungho after having patted the others’ back, wishing them good night, who had noticed him stalling.

“You good?” He asked quietly, dark spots under his eyes showing that he didn’t fare any better than any of them, yet he tried. Jaehyun wasn’t sure whether it had something to do with the responsibility he felt as the oldest or it was just his personality but he was really grateful to have him with them. He was even more grateful that the elder boy didn’t show any kind of grudge against him being voted as their future leader despite joining KOZ only at the end of last year. At times like this, Jaehyun doubted he could do a good job at leading a team. He wasn’t made to do so. He was loud and messy. They should have chosen Sungho with his easy smiles and orderliness, since they had already often relied on him.

“I will catch up with you soon,” Jaehyun promised before turning down the road. He wasn’t sure where he was headed but he knew he needed to clear his head.

Even though he only knew the other boys for a few months, he could easily imagine their different ways of coping. Donghyun and Sanghyeok talking in the darkness of their room, Sungho stress-cleaning their kitchen, Taesan already working on his next cool song about beating allegations of not being good enough while Woonhak forcing himself to go to sleep because poor kid had to go to school in less than 6 hours. And him? Out at night swinging at a playground because he wanted to scream but couldn’t. He felt worn out like he wasn’t made for this but at the same time he couldn’t imagine any other life. Especially when after sacrificing his youth on the altar of training, after wasting years at YG watching all of his friends debut, he was finally so close. They were so close to turning their dream into reality.

Eventually he ended up at a 24/7 convenience store a few corners from their dorms. They had other ones closer, ones they were regulars at but he had already come so far, so it only made sense. He mumbled a greeting under his breath, his hoodie engulfing his figure, as he headed towards the snacks section. He momentarily faltered as he passed by the alcoholic drinks, the idea of getting drunk and forgetting about his problems a tad bit too tempting for a moment. But after he’d had way too much makgeolli during Christmas, he hadn't really been keen on revisiting that hungover. It was a stupid idea anyways, he had vocal practice in the morning and what about his pre-debut image?

He grabbed a bag of gummies, some overly sweet candies, chocolate bars and the kimchi flavored chips he had seen in the kitchen before and headed to the checkout area.

“Would you like a bag?” The cashier asked in an all too cheerful voice despite the time nearing 1AM and that there was a textbook open on the counter.

“Yes, please,” Jaehyun muttered, fishing out his worn wallet he had gotten from his father when he had moved out to chase his dreams.

Items were scanned then put into a black plastic bag, card swiped, receipt ignored, it was all monotonous and robotic and Jaehyun was too tired to actually pay attention to anything. He didn’t even notice the heavy rain that started up until he approached the store’s automatically opening door and the wind hit him. Oh, just his luck. As if he needed something to make his day worse.

Jaehyun sighed, bracing himself against the cold and getting soaking wet until he reached the dorm. He could only hope he wouldn’t get a sore throat by tomorrow morning. But before he could have stepped outside, he heard movement behind him and felt gentle taps on his shoulder.

“Here, take it,” you held out a transparent colored umbrella towards him when he turned around and Jaehyun blinked dumbfounded. You had still worn the store’s uniform just like you had done behind the cash register and your voice was just as melodious as before but now that he looked at you properly he couldn’t unsee it: the beauty in your smile and the kindness in your eyes.

It sounded too good to be true to not get rained on and save the poor excuse of treats he bought for the boys to cheer them up from getting wet but he wasn't sure he could accept it from a stranger just like that. Wouldn’t you get in trouble for that? How would you get home in this weather?

“But…”

“We have plenty more left behind. You can bring it back anytime,” you smiled at him brightly like the Sun in the gloomy dark weather that embraced the two of you. Jaehyun was mesmerized then by your sparkling eyes and soft smile. He was sure he stared at you a tad bit long before catching himself.

“Thank you,” he grinned sheepishly as he took the umbrella from you. Your lips curled further up as you stepped back.

“Take care,” you wished like an angel sent from above to make his shitty day better before turning around and going back to the register while humming a mainstream kpop song.

Later when Jaehyun was back in the dorm freshly showered and tucked in his bed, all he could think about was you instead of the self-doubt that had been eating him away. You were like a miracle.

It took Jaehyun an embarrassingly long time to figure out how to take the umbrella back. Not to mention, he was quite protective of the cheap piece, he even shrieked a tiny bit dramatically and made Woonhak swear he would take care of it when he saw the younger mindlessly grab it from by the door on a cloudy day.

Sure, he could have simply taken the umbrella back, given it to you and said thank you again but come on, that was too… anticlimactic. He needed a better excuse to keep talking to you, to hear that cheery voice and see your soft smile.

The perfect opportunity came when he heard Sungho complain about running out of dishwashing liquid and even though they didn’t even share the same dorm and they could have just asked the cleaning lady who visited weekly, Jaehyun took it upon himself to get some. He had no idea about dishwashing things after all. All of them were the same yellow liquid to him and he didn’t really care about degreasing agents or traits for sensitive hands, so it was something he could have asked you about and maybe casually slipping into a conversation about your lives? He had already drafted three lyrics about the different scenarios playing in his head and because he wasn’t the most subtle person ever, Dongmin obviously noticed.

“Do I wanna know?” He quirked an eyebrow knowingly before turning back to the studio's computer at Jaehyun’s sigh.

“It’s nothing,” the elder brushed it off because he might have been shameless and loud about most things, but he wanted to keep you just for himself for a while. So he let out another exaggerated sigh and pointed at the screen. “Let’s go over the track you showed me two days ago, I might have lyrics for it.”

Dongmin hummed and let it slide, but Jaehyun was sure that he couldn’t avoid the confrontation much longer. He hoped that the temporary ignorance meant that the younger knew that he would have never done anything to jeopardize their debut.

He was merely embarrassing himself apparently.

Because the next time he visited the convenience store on a clear sky night with zero chances of rain, he stood at the door of the store, umbrella in one hand, staring dumbfoundedly at the guy playing on his phone behind the counter. No sight of you or your pretty smiles. So he stood there, dumbfounded, gaping like one of Donghyun’s fish, wondering whether he mistook the day you had met but there was absolutely no way he could have, not with the amount of times he thought about it. It was exactly two weeks before, at the same time, at the exact same place. He couldn’t have mistaken it.

“Are you coming in or what?” The cashier looked up, bored and a bit annoyed at this late hour, so Jaehyun tried his best to appear nonchalant despite his heart breaking. He knew he was dramatic but he couldn’t help it, like he even dressed up nicely! And there was no smiley cashier greeting him? No you?

“Yeah,” he coughed, hurrying down one random aisle and spending too much time to find the dishwasher section to grab one bottle without looking at it too much.

The ‘take the umbrella back and talk with you’ mission was a failure but at least Sungho was happy about his surprise purchase, even complimenting him on the nice scent he chose as if Jaehyun would have ever bought cherry blossom ones on purpose.

Jaehyun thought he was doing a fair job of not moping but out of all people it had to be Woonhak who called him out on it. The maknae was surprisingly insightful for his age, unfortunately so.

“Hyung, if it’s still about the last donut I ate last week, we can get some later,” Woonhak nudged his arm while Jaehyun was busy zoning out, trying to come up with a less pathetic idea than camping outside of the convenience store just to bump into you.

“What?” He blinked at the younger, confused.

“You are sighing so much,” Woonhak furrowed his eyebrows, visibly worried. Probably because it wasn’t Jaehyun’s default behavior.

“Oh,” he cleared his throat but then forced himself to process the younger’s previous words. “Wait! Was it you? We are so gonna get those donuts now. You’re paying.”

Woonhak whined, pretending to be annoyed when he was pulled out of his seat, towards the door but he laughed anyway when his pout managed to convince Jaehyun not only to let him choose the flavors but to pay as the older as well. Pretending to be fine mission: success.

Another week passed and Jaehyun was high on energy this time because after his newfound inspiration and determination, all of their hard work seemed to finally pay off: it was officially confirmed that they would debut. At the end of May, their dreams would finally come true. A new life would begin.

If being a trainee getting ready for monthly evaluations was hard, preparing for a debut was twice as tiring. They had photoshoots, video shoots, concept meetings, stage name discussions, album recordings, dance practices with their songs. It was everything Jaehyun had ever wanted and more, it was overwhelming but in a good way, so in the midst of it all, he kind of forgot about the whole umbrella ordeal. He treasured the memory of meeting you and kept it as something to keep him going on bad days.

But of course, it had to be a day when he went out for an evening run (which he hated but Sungho and their choreographer nagged him about to build up stamina), so he was sweaty and panting when he ended up at the store again afraid of dying out of dehydration if he kept going without water. He jogged to the fridges in the back and grabbed the first cold bottle he saw before heading to the checkout area only to freeze a few steps away when he saw you behind the register. Your hair was up this time too, only a few locks falling into your eyes that sparkled like stars in the sky.

“Is everything okay?” you asked in that kind voice that he thought he would only hear in his dreams again and Jaehyun had to remind himself to act normal.

“Uhm, yeah, fine. More than fine actually,” he fumbled with his words and wanted to slap himself for it. Who the hell was more than fine when he was sweating bucks and could barely gulp with how dry his mouth was? He crossed that two meters between you and put the water bottle on the counter, watching you scan the item, more hair falling into your face as they slipped from behind your ears. Jaehyun’s fingers itched to fix it but that would have been creepy and rude as hell so he closed his fingers into fists next to his side.

“Sorry, I forgot to bring back the umbrella,” he muttered sheepishly and you looked back at him with a little confused frown on your forehead, then you chuckled. It was music for the boy’s ears, the prettiest symphony.

“Ah, it’s okay, there’s no rush,” you waved it off and asked if it was everything else before activating the card reader terminal. “You didn’t catch a cold, right?”

“No.”

“Good, then I’m glad I could help,” you smiled like it was normal, like you would have done it for everyone which was sweet but also made Jaehyun’s chest ache.

“I just wasn’t sure it would come off wrong if I gave it to somebody else. So I wanted to make sure it was you but you weren’t here last week when I came, so…” Jaehyun knew that he rumbled but he couldn’t stop. He hoped that you found him more cute than weird though because he wanted to keep your eyes on him a little longer.

“Ah, I switched with Daehyeong because he had an exam earlier that day. I work three night shifts and two afternoon ones usually,” you said, listing the days for each which engraved themselves into Jaehyun’s mind as he took the receipt and the bottle from you.

“I will make sure to bring it back one of these days,” he promised enthusiastically to which you smiled and showed him an okay sign formed from your hand so cute Jaehyun swore he almost melted right then and there. You weren’t even trying and it was cuter than Woonhak’s aegyo!

“Careful!” You called after him when he almost walked into the automatically opening door because he was too busy looking back on you. But then you both laughed, him nervously and embarrassed, you a little bit amused and endeared and suddenly, Jaehyun’s lung having a hard time breathing had nothing to do with running.

Sungho was the first person Jaehyun told about you. He thought about going to Sanghyeok or Donghyun for advice but the eldest was the one he could trust to keep his secret even among them and who had a girlfriend before, so he seemed like the most promising option. Not that Jaehyun was going to ask you out on a date! He knew that would have been stupid of him to do so, especially so close to debut but his thoughts kept gravitating back to you. He just wanted to talk to you and he had no experience with other chromosomes other than his own due to the all boys school he attended and the bunch of dudes he spent his teens with in small practice rooms. Company training lessons on how to charm fans didn’t count as experience, so he needed some advice on how to not embarrass himself in front of you or come off too strong. Who knew Sungho’s advice would be so useless?

“Just be yourself.”

“That’s the most cliché thing you could have told me,” Jaehyun deadpanned with a black look.

“Well, it’s a common advice for a reason,” Sungho crossed his arms in front of his chest which made the other boy sigh. Always so logical, he should have known not to come here. Too much T energy for his F to handle.

“Which part of not embarrassing myself did you not get?”

The older boy rolled his eyes.

“Come on, Jaehyun, you have an excited puppy energy, girls love that.”

Oh no, now Sungho’s voice was soft like when he talked to Woonhak when he got a bad grade on a test he actually studied for. It was time to make a joke out of it.

“Well, I will blame you if I pee myself in excitement when our hands touch,” he snorted before mulling over his own words. “Do you think it would be weird as a lyrics?”

Sungho sighed, unimpressed, and didn’t even hesitate.

“Yes.”

Damn Park Sungho and his stupid advice, Jaehyun didn’t feel more prepared (if at all) when he decided to bring the umbrella back. However, it would have been awkward if he waited too long after your last encounter, so he decided to bite the bullet and just go. You recognized him right away and smiled at him widely. Jaehyun really didn’t understand how you could be so bright all the time when it was so late.

“Thanks,” you bobbed your head when he reached the umbrella over and your fingers brushed his when you took it, sending electricity down Jaehyun’s back.

“I should be the one thanking you,” he said, fidgeting with his fingers in front of himself.

“It really wasn’t anything special,” you tried to reassure him but it made the boy pout.

“Ah, so you would have done this for everybody,” he blurted out, sounding more disappointed than he would have admitted, his heart beating loud in his ears.

“Nah, just the cute ones,” you replied while you put the umbrella behind the counter and Jaehyun was sure he misheard you because what? There’s no way you called him cute.

“What?!” He echoed his thoughts and if he looked closer he would have seen your red ears.

“I said not everybody,” you lied after clearing your throat, avoiding his eyes. Gosh, when did it turn awkward? So the boy tried to salvage the situation.

“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he spoke up as casually as he could manage and he probably did a good job because you didn’t look weirded out. Not until you introduced yourself and he blurted out that he knew. “I mean, it’s on your name tag,” he explained hastily with a relieved giggle when you laughed it off too.

And it somehow became a habit: Jaehyun came by once or twice a week, buying small things like snacks or drinks and he chatted with you. Nothing special, just a bit about your days (your university classes and his newest story about his roommates that made you smile), snack flavor preference (you liked veggie chips while he preferred barbeque flavor), the weather (you liked clear nights the best because the moon was so pretty) and music (he might have fanboyed a bit too hard when you said you were waiting for Jungkook’s next single to drop because same!). Not to mention that you listening to kpop meant you wouldn’t find his career path offputting, so Jaehyun became a bit more sure that he would tell you about it one of these days.

For a while he thought that his most awkward visit was that one time when Dongmin dragged him to the convenience store for a late night snack and he tried very hard not to make it obvious in front of his group mate that he was crushing on you but failed miserably because when he went to get chopsticks for themselves, you smiled at him and he almost tripped. He thought he managed to recover quickly enough for the other boy to not notice but the younger’s shiteating grin was enough to dash his hopes.

“So she’s your sudden muse, huh?” Dongmin raised a brow teasingly and Jaehyun hissed at him to shut up, an unexpected change in their usual dynamics.

However, his next visit topped the most awkward encounter ever. This time when he went back, there was only silence greeting him instead of your usual cheerfulness and it took the boy no longer than two seconds to realize that it was because you were soundlessly sleeping over the counter next to the cash register.

It certainly didn’t look like the most comfortable position for your back and Jaehyun was sure there was some kind of rule against being asleep on the clock but he couldn’t make himself wake you up. You looked so peaceful and so pretty. Your cheeks rounded as they were squished against the desk, pink lips in a pout, eyelashes fluttering slightly like butterfly wings. Jaehyun was mesmerized, writing a song about your sleeping beauty in his head already. 

Then the idyll was broken when the automatic door opened revealing a tired university student and you blinked your eyes open. You probably noticed him creepily staring, so Jaehyun panicked and grabbed the first thing from the display next to him that he could reach and dropped in front of you without looking, trying to act cool while not making you feel bad for taking a nap.

You cleared your throat, straightened your back, looking at him sheepishly with big doe eyes and an apologetic smile which he reciprocated… only for it to drop when his gaze followed yours and settled on the item on the counter between the two of you.

A box of extra large condoms.

Jaehyun never wanted Earth to open up and shallow him more than in that moment, he might have as well just died of embarrassment, but before he could have snatched it back and fumble over his words to try to find a believable excuse how he could grab it instead of for example a pack of chewing gum, you had already scanned it with a forced smile as the professional you were.

The boy’s body acted on its own entity, detached from his currently cursed soul and he paid, leaving the shop with 10000 won shorter and condoms he wasn’t going to use. Like have you seen his chronically single ass? He couldn’t even hold a conversation with a girl he liked, not to mention getting laid. Jaehyun wanted to bang his head into a wall. He didn’t know how he was going to look you into the eyes after this.

To Donghyun’s credit, he at least tried not to laugh when Jaehyun caved and told the younger about his dilemma. If it was Sungho with his ijbolism he would have already been on the floor barely catching his breath. Especially because it was him being himself after his oh so great advice!

“You know you could be just honest. Maybe she will find it cute that you were too distracted by her beauty to check what you were getting,” Donghyun said with a little hum, his mouth curled up in a smile but his attention back on his fish.

“Nope. No way. It might make her uncomfortable,” Jaehyun shook his head, not risking it. He didn’t want to burden you with his feelings when he knew he wasn’t in the position to pursue them even if you gave him a chance.

“Then just tell her it was a prank gift if it comes up,” the younger shrugged and while it sounded like an actual reasonable idea, it still required Jaehyun to discuss the topic with you, so needless to say he concluded that the best thing he could do was to avoid you forever. It wasn’t ideal per se but nor was the timing and dramatic situations called for drastic measures (or something like that).

So he didn’t plan to go back to the convenience store ever but what was he supposed to do when during one of his night runs (he was now torturing himself without Sungho’s prompting too) he saw a quite drunk looking man enter the building? He had to make sure you were okay.

Still, he hoped that his gut feeling was wrong and that he was in for another embarrassing encounter instead of you being cornered by a stranger but when he stepped inside the store only to see you pulled away from the counter as much as you could while the drunkard swung a soju bottle in the air, he knew he made the right call.

“Hey, leave her alone!” Jaehyun raised his voice without thinking it through. He just wanted the dude to get away from you because he looked threatening enough but the moment the man’s attention turned to him, he internally panicked because heck, he had a music video shooting in two days, the makeup artist noonas would kill him if he got punched. Or worse, what if Dispatch finds out that he got into a fight before debut? He would ruin everything. Zico PD would be so disappointed. He was supposed to be the leader after all.

“Stay out of it, kid,” the man slurred and your big doe eyes were on him too, wary and partly  relieved. It gave Jaehyun the boost he needed.

“I saw you pocket drinks. I’m calling the police,” he found his voice again enough to bluff seeing the stuffed coat on the other but he was either right or the man was drunk enough not to care.

“Mind your own business,” he muttered but with big bravado he stumbled out of the store, bumping his shoulder into Jaehyun’s most likely on purpose.

“Gosh, thank you so much,” you let out a long breath and finally your tensed shoulders relaxed.

“Are you okay?” Jaehyun asked, worried because even though you seemed physically okay, it must have been scary. Like even he almost shat himself while trying to assert dominance with eye contact. If Dongmin ever heard about it, he would have surely suggested to him to bark next time with how keen he was on teasing him for his usual puppy-like behavior. But look at him now winning an alpha staredown! He was definitely a wolf!

“Yes, it’s just… he wanted cigarettes too and got angry when I asked him to pay for the drinks first,” you said, still a bit shaken up but much calmer now.

Jaehyun wished he could see your lovely smile again and suddenly his last visit’s embarrassing outcome was the least of his worries. He decided to stick around, so he bought cup noodles and prepared it in the store’s self-catering corner while stealing glances at you. It was a quiet late night like usual, so you didn’t have much to do behind the register but still he was quite taken aback (and his heart started beating like a drum) when you decided to leave your post and sit beside him on one of those plastic chairs.

You talked about sweet little nothings like the passing cherry blossom season, favorite movies, your annoying professors and as cliche as it is, time flew by. You only realized how much when the guy for the next shift arrived.  You excused yourself to get changed and grab your things while Jaehyun cleaned up the table where he had his late night meal. When you emerged from the staff room, saying goodbye to the other employee, you seemed a bit surprised to see the boy still there which made him scratch the back of his neck bashfully.

“I will walk you to the bus stop. He might be still out there,” he explained himself and could only hope it didn’t sound as lame as he thought so. It was clearly an excuse but you let him get away with it with an easy smile.

Jaehyun’s heart couldn’t catch a breath as you were walking side by side, arms brushing from time to time, chattering about the constellations above, asking for his zodiac, pointing out stars he could only see reflected in your eyes. He had never been so enamored by anybody and he wished to keep this feeling forever fluttering in his chest.

“Are you okay?” Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts which made him stumble upon his words.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he smiled, not wanting to worry you, swinging his intertwined finger behind him because he didn’t know what to do with them. He had to keep himself occupied otherwise he would have done something stupid like reaching out to hold your hand with the excuse of dark, late night.

Your bus came just on time and for once, Jaehyun would have liked for it to be late because he could have listened to you talk about the sagittarius constellation until dusk but he didn’t want to keep you up either and the reasonable part of his brain also knew that he would regret staying up so late.

“Thank you again for earlier. And for keeping me company. I had fun,” you smiled at him, waving him goodbye which he could only reciprocate, starstruck.

The debut date was on the corner and with that, all of them got even busier, not to mention, the six boys crammed in a small place were supposed to move dorms too. Jaehyun should have been happy and don’t get him wrong, he was! This was what he had been waiting for, why he spent years in smelly training rooms until his muscles ached. This was what he wanted but a part of him couldn’t move past the fact that moving meant that your workplace wouldn’t be in the vicinity anymore, so he told himself that it was now or never. He would tell you about his well-kept secret and hope for the best. For what exactly he wasn’t sure but still.

He went back to the convenience store at the usual time since he had known your schedule by heart by then and there was no way he would have forgotten. But when he walked inside the store with his signature smile, you were nowhere to be found. There was another girl with bright dyed hair behind the counter flipping a magazine.

“Sorry, did Y/N change her schedule?” Jaehyun found himself asking, this time knowing better than to succumb to moping without questioning first.

“Oh, she resigned, wants to focus on studying more,” the girl replied after popping out the chewing gum in her mouth. Then after a pause, she asked: “Are you Jaehyun?”

The boy was taken aback. Knowing that you had told your coworker about him turned his ears red as he nodded slowly.

“She said to give you this if you come around,” the  cashier said and handed over a familiar transparent umbrella with a pink post-it note saying ‘monsoon season is coming. take care :)’ and while it was sweet and maybe it was for the better this way with his debut on the corner, Jaehyun had no idea a heart could be broken so gently.

4.5 YEARS AFTER DEBUT

The crisp of cold pinched Jaehyun’s cheeks as he exited the black van immediately blinded by the flash of cameras. He bowed and smiled towards the fans, waving and posing until a hand on his back reminded him to move forward.

Inside the broadcasting station there was a different kind of chaos: staff members running around, makeup artists touching up his face, professional cameras set up around, his manager reminding him to promote the upcoming concert as if he could forget. They sold out the Olympic Stadium after all, Jaehyun was still giddy (and nervous and awestruck) about the fact.

He greeted the veteran host of the radio show with a practiced, professional smile. He had gotten used to solo schedules early thanks to his MCountdown MC days, so he didn’t find it as nerve wracking as others did. He still remembered seeing the ever so (seemingly) all cool and aloof Dongmin shake with nerves before he left for his first meeting as a producer. These days, with their group’s reputation secured after hits that won Song of the Year awards dusting on their company’s shelf, they had more of these solo jobs, each of them doing their own thing: Sungho trying out acting, Sanghyuk choreographing for rookies and helping trainees, Dongmin writing songs for names even bigger than theirs, Donghyun narrating a wildlife documentary series, Woonhak having his own show while Jaehyun was busy with variety shows. Just to list a few of the things they were doing between comebacks and group schedules. Fans and the general public loved them, Jaehyun for example was dubbed as the nation's puppy boyfriend after he was deemed very boyfriend material on a Running Man episode simply for being more considerate than competitive.

It was exactly how the radio show host introduced him as too right after the greeting segment of the morning radio broadcast.

“Jaehyun-ssi, it’s so nice to have you here,” the woman turned to him and the idol grinned, boyish charm still clear on his face.

“The pleasure’s all mine.”

“Oh, I heard you would be a sweet talker,” the lady chuckled and Jaehyun joined in, used to the Butter Myung allegations since his own members liked to call him out on it too. It had become a thing early on.

“Only for noona… and Onedoors,” he winked into the camera because it came easy and because the reactions were good. The host seemed to enjoy his presence as well or was just as professional at her job as he was. They talked a bit in general about the day’s topic a bit and Jaehyun answered a few viewer’s questions in-between played songs. He talked about preparing for the Stadium concert and an upcoming album as well as what he had been up to lately.

“So tell us about the OST you wrote for MBC’s new hit drama. It’s been charting high ever since its release, right?” The lady grabbed this chance to inquire about In every lifetime, it’s you.

Jaehyun wasn't the first one who had a solo OST deal (it was Sungho for one of the first dramas he acted in as a support character) but he was the first one who was involved in the production, even allowed to write the lyrics in the concept of first love. The idol’s fingers twitched in his lap with the urge to scratch the back of his neck as he thought back on the dozen songs he had written about you and then kept in a hidden folder on his computer because they all sounded too real, too close to what he felt. Pouring his feelings into an OST for a drama was different because there was less promotion period if any and it was less unlikely that his members called him out on his sappiness every time they had to perform it. So he talked about the production, how quick it went and how taken aback he was by the immensely positive response.

“Is it inspired by real events? Based on your own first love perhaps?” The host inquired, curious, and Jaehyun could already tell that it will be the most rewatched part of the show. They weren’t rookies anymore, they could talk about things like it, past crushes or even exes. Sure, some might get upset but most fans moved on quickly and such things couldn’t ruin their career anymore.

“You can say so, but my first love was just a one sided crush. She gave me an umbrella on a rainy day, that inspired the song. I still have it, although the second time I got it as a goodbye,” Jaehyun admitted with a nostalgic smile, hoping that it would be enough to satisfy the host’s curiosity. If not, he had the perfect comeback. “My second love for Onedoor remains strong to this day though and I hope it’s mutual.”

“Ah, Jaehyun-ssi, I’m sure it is,” the lady chuckled and added a few words about the drama itself before playing the OST itself. It started with the sound of rain and it made the boy smile because as the lyrics unfolded, the instrumental became livelier and happier too like a rainbow after a sudden storm. Just how your smile and kindness had turned his awful day not so bad.

A few more fan questions were answered, Jaehyun thanked them for their continuous support and mentioned seeing them at the upcoming concert. All went well and Jaehyun felt giddy as he exited the venue like always when he could interact with fans.

He had no idea that on the other side of the city you were listening to the radio show, fingers freezing over the keyboard.

Their schedules were usually tight but Jaehyun enjoyed the buzz of it all. Sure, he liked to laze around in bed but there was nothing like being booked and busy because it really showed just how far they had come. There were times when they were exhausted but after being in the industry for a while they learned how to recognize the signs of burnout or being overwhelmed and they were lucky enough to have Zico PD-nim on their side. Their hyung might have been serious about music but he prioritized their health over profit enough to stand by them against shareholders who were in it for the money and not the music. He also reminded them to just have fun… within reasonable limits. Being an idol wasn’t sunshine and rainbows, there was dieting, being followed by Dispatch and sasaengs breaking into their hotel rooms or mobbing them at the airport. But at those times Jaehyun reminded himself that he had his best friends with him and they were doing what they loved. What more could he ask for?

So Jaehyun didn’t complain even if he spent long hours at the studio yesterday night but had to wake up at the crack of dawn to make it to the filming studio for their new MAC lipstick ad. Four hours of individual and group shots but at least they only had one set of clothes this time, an elegant black and white suit and tie combo for all of them. Jaehyun teased Woonhak about looking like a real adult now as if he hadn’t seen a boy in a similar attire three weeks ago at an award ceremony. But their maknae was way too cute when he pouted, so he couldn’t miss this chance.

“We’re starting off with the group shots. Are all of you ready?” An employee from the filming crew came up to them and the group members nodded, following him to the set with black background.

Once they took their place and turned around, they bowed to the staff: cameramen, photographer, stylists who would touch their makeup up, concept director, marketing and PR people from MAC next to their manager. For a moment – a moment too long – Jaehyun’s gaze got stuck on a figure on her phone, hair up with claw clips, voice like happy little chimes at Christmas, a vaguely familiar sound that knocked the air out of his chest.

“Jaehyun?” Sungho hissed, nudging him in the side when the silence stretched too far and everybody looked at them expectedly. Jaehyun cleared his throat.

“Who’s there? Boynextdoor! Hello, we’re Boynextdoor, please take care of us,” he bowed again and the others followed his lead like always. No matter how much they (especially Dongmin) teased him, they always followed him with unconditional trust. Jaehyun loved them like brothers.

The leader was out of it now though, so he had to blink to regain focus. It wasn’t the first time he imagined seeing you again. He had imagined (and written out) a bunch of different scenarios how it would play out but nothing ever happened. Korea wasn’t a small country after all, hell even Seoul was too big to just stumble upon you. He needed to get it together.

The photoshoot started with the group shots and Jaehyun managed to collect himself enough to follow instructions and channel through his inner model that he developed over the years. The photographer seemed satisfied with their work as well because everything went smoothly and they didn’t have to do many retakes. Once it was done, the individual shots followed. They played rock, paper, scissors (the ultimate solution for everything) earlier to decide the order and since Sanghyuk won, he was the first one to go. This way, once he was gone he could have done anything he wanted – sleep, play, hold a live, whatever – until the others were on.

Jaehyun was the third, which wasn’t bad but wasn’t really good either. He didn’t have enough time for a nap but he had more time to kill than just to wait around, so he decided to get drinks from the food support trucks their fan clubs had sent for their schedule. He asked the others if they wanted anything before taking off. First, he took pictures with the trucks to upload to social media later then got an iced americano for himself and another for Woonhak as if the youngest didn’t have enough energy without the caffeine.

Going back to the building, he literally tripped when he saw you.

Again. And this time there was no mistaking, no questions about it. It wasn’t a hallucination. It was you right then and right there, in front of him, talking with another staff member animatedly. After all these years you still looked like you were in his returning daydreams: all kind smiles and refreshing aura. Except that this wasn’t a dream. You might have lost the baby fat in your cheeks and your hair might have gotten longer, your smile was still dimpled. Instead of the convenience store uniform you had worn over your casual jeans-tee combo back then, now you dressed business casual and it was funny, really, because he went from sweatpants and hoodies to suit and tie as well. At least for now.

It was Woonhak who pulled him out of his reverie, waving a hand in front of his face before taking his coffee. (Luckily years of dance practices gave Jaehyun a good enough balance to upright himself before spilling coffee all over the ground and himself.)

“Hyung, come on… be at least a bit more subtle,” the boy sighed, rolling his eyes as if saying he couldn’t believe that Jaehyun was older than him and still acted like this. However, the leader couldn’t care less about the fact that he was acting embarrassing or not. He tugged on Woonhak’s jacket while still staring at you.

“It’s her,” he whispered as if he wasn’t already terribly obvious while the younger one was casually sipping on his drink.

“Huh?”

“The umbrella girl,” Jaehyun clarified, which made the youngest’s eyes turn into big saucers before turning towards you.

More or less, the group knew about you and about Jaehyun’s hopeless crush. It was hard not to with how treasured that umbrella was that he always carried with himself as a lucky charm or how many songs he had written with you in his thoughts.

No wonder Woonhak started slapping him on the shoulder out of excitement but he did his best at not saying anything out loud which in itself was already a relief. Him shuffling towards the others to relay the news or Jaehyun tapping his feet out of nervousness before his turn not so much. The thought of you watching him work made him super aware of every tiny detail and he wanted it to be perfect. He wanted you to see him and remember and see how far he had come. But he never caught you watching in-between takes when he could look away from the camera. You were either on the phone or talking with somebody.

Little did he know that you looked whenever he looked away.

He couldn’t find you after the shooting was done. Actually the entire MAC staff seemed to leave early but it still felt unfair. Having seen you and you slipping through his fingers again drove Jaehyun crazy. Especially because the photos came out well. He looked good enough to impress. It was such a wasted chance.

Should he send flowers to your workplace? Would that be too much? Too random?

There he was back with his overthinking and moping.

However, the next day, his phone buzzed with a message from their manager saying that he can’t pick them up to take them to the studio because he has to swing by at the MAC headquarters for some promotional products and the idol immediately perked up because wait! That was your workplace!

“Guys, guys, guys!” He shrieked, jumping up on his feet, startling Sanghyuk who was dozing off next to him on the couch. “I think I just got a sign from the universe telling me to go for it.”

With their individual activities and single rooms in their newest dorm, it was a rare occurrence that all of them were together but most of them still hung out in shared spaces like the living room when they had nothing to do. That was how Jaehyun got Sanghyuk and Dongmin there to witness his reaction and he pushed his phone into their faces. Luckily the guys looked interested enough in his sudden love life to listen to his ramble whether it had been weird if he went too and what he should have done if you weren’t there despite all his efforts. Oh gosh, maybe he shouldn’t go after all, because what if you were there? He could make a fool of himself.

“Jeez, hyung, and regret it for years again? You are not a trainee anymore with an uncertain future. You are one of the biggest names of our generation,” Dongmin huffed, then after a short pause and a bite of his snack, he added: “By the way I will deny it if anyone asks if I said that.”

It didn’t tamper Jaehyun’s hyped up mood though because that was true, things were really different from what they had been like five years ago.

“Thanks, Dongmin-ah, you are right,” he nodded to himself with his eyes lit up. He scrambled to get up from the couch quickly. He needed to decide on his outfit! He couldn’t go to MAC looking the same way (comfort over fashion) as he planned to lock himself into his studio.

“I’m always right,” Dongmin mumbled under his nose just as Jaehyun disappeared into his room after he shot a casual enough ‘can i tag along?’ message to their manager. Even if the man was surprised about his sudden interest in marketing procedures, he didn’t protest, just told him the time to be ready by if he wanted to come along.

Once they arrived at the office building and their manager was busy with paperwork and the gift bags, Jaehyun tried to hold himself back but even he was aware that he was perching over cubicle walls like an eager puppy waiting for its owner to take him out on a walk. He heard whispers following him, some employees asking another if it was The Myung Jaehyun or they were just seeing things. Jaehyun smiled at them with his most charming smile instead of confirming with words.

Was it considered stalking? He was just at your workplace and it wasn't without reason, so it wouldn’t have been a lie either if you asked about it. Jeez, why was he so nervous? He had performed in front of thousands and was used to live TV appearances. Worst case scenario you didn’t remember him and he only embarrassed himself in front of you which wouldn’t have been the first time nor the second. He could do it!

Jaehyun was in the middle of giving himself a pep talk when he saw a woman he had seen you talk to at the shooting and he did his best to subtly follow her to the print room.

“Excuse me…”

“Oh, Jaehyun-ssi, what are you doing here?” The woman blinked in surprise when she recognized him and the idol had no choice but to use his smoldering smile that often managed to get people to do exactly how he wanted. As casually as he could to not get follow-up questions, he asked if you were still in the office at which the lady furrowed her brows, asking back to confirm that she heard your name correctly.

“She just left actually. I saw her by the elevators a minute ago. You might catch up to her if it’s really urgent or I can try to help if–”

“Thank you, you’ve been a great help already!” Jaehyun cut her off as politely as he could with a bow before bolting towards the elevators in a totally idol-like sprint. Maybe he should have participated in the running category for the next ISAC.

It was déjà vu really, but only when the automatic doors of the office building opened did he notice that it had started snowing while he was inside. The scenery was breathtaking with petal-like snowflakes dressing the night cityscape whiter. Or was breathing difficult because of his heart beating too fast in his chest? He couldn't have missed you again, right?

Frantic, he looked around in the square in front of the building, looking for your figure while snow was slowly accessorizing his dark hair in big, fluffy flakes and the cold bit into his cheeks. He slid his reddened hands into his pockets because he forgot his gloves, not expecting snow that day.

“Do you still not bring an umbrella with you?” A familiar yet new, sweet voice asked him, amused and Jaehyun blinked the snow out of his eyes to focus on you.

Your cheeks were flushed from the cold, the bottom of your face hidden behind your fluffy scarf but he could tell from your eyes that you were smiling as you held an umbrella over both of you. 

So you remembered! Jaehyun could barely contain his relieved giggle.

“It’s been a while,” he noted instead, not wanting to miss the chance or seeming weird by just staring at you in awe. Gosh, you were so cute. How could you have gotten cuter with age?

“Yeah,” you nodded but didn’t elaborate and Jaehyun couldn’t leave it like that, he couldn’t let it turn awkward.

“Have you been well?” He asked and heck, it was so cliché, so much like small talk between strangers, but he was actually interested in what you had been up to all these years. You didn’t seem to mind, not with the corner of your mouth curling into one of the smiles he loved on you.

It turned out that you managed to graduate with flying colors and eventually get a job as a marketing assistant at MAC which you liked after some not too good experience in the beauty industry. He was happy for you because you deserved only the best. He was also selfish and he wanted more time with you, more privately, so he wouldn’t have those regrets Dongmin mentioned burdening him for not even trying.

“Do you want to, I don’t know, get a coffee? Tea? Dinner?” He found himself asking hastily and gosh, he was a stuttering mess. So much about his cool idol image. Not that you hadn’t seen him at worse but still, it was a new chance to impress you and he was failing terribly.

And maybe he messed up everything because you went awfully quiet at his question, your hand gripping tighter on the umbrella’s handle as you cast your eyes down. Jaehyun prepared himself for rejection even before the words left your mouth.

“I don’t think that’s a wise idea,” you mumbled and he gulped.

Of course it wasn’t.

“Right,” he nodded, a forced, polite smile tight on his lips even though he could practically feel his heart shattering into small pieces all over again.

He knew dating an idol wasn’t ideal, it could be daunting or heck, you might have a boyfriend already. Maybe meeting him made you uncomfortable because you didn’t keep the memories so fondly of him as he did about you.

“But it was nice seeing you again,” you added a bit belatedly and apologetically, turning to leave, to leave him stranded alone in the snowfall. At least it would make another beautiful, tragic love song, Jaehyun thought with his cold lips wobbling.

He let out a quiet sigh or so he thought but you must have heard him because then you stopped on your tracks, stilling, becoming a part of the picturesque view for a long moment before looking back, calling his name.

“Jaehyun… That song about the rain,” you started, quiet and unsure, and the singer could feel his heart’s loud thuds echo in his ears. He held his breath back, waiting for another stab in the heart. “It wasn’t a one sided crush.”

Jaehyun stopped breathing altogether. What?

He must have misheard you, there was no way you said that. It should have been the part where you told him not to write about you because it made you feel uncomfortable.

“You mean you did… That you… You too?” Jaehyun tripped all over his words. Really, for somebody who had songwriting credits on the majority of their award winning hits, it was a new low. He couldn’t even pierce together a sentence.

You closed your eyes for a bit as if to brace yourself before looking him in the eye again and Jaehyun felt the world resume spinning when you nodded. Yet, it only made him even more confused.

“Then… why?” He blurted out and you looked so confused at his question, he had to clarify. “Why isn’t it a good idea?”

A coffee, a tea, a dinner… A date or however you wanted to call it. At his straightforward question though, you looked more flustered than ever.

“I… I don’t know. Shouldn’t you know better? Don’t you have a dating ban or something?” You asked, blinking rapidly, cheeks redder than before and Jaehyun would have liked to think that it was because you blushed and not because of the cold. Especially because it was you who brought up dating!

“Oh, that. No, we don’t have a dating ban,” he cleared his throat, trying to play it off cool but a quiet chuckle still slipped past his lips.

One of the advantages of having an idol as your boss was that he knew exactly what it was like to be in their shoes. Zico himself told them that even with the ban they had found ways to make it work in secret, the risk of getting caught twice as big, so he didn’t want to impose such rules on them. He didn’t encourage it, telling them how unwise it was but still, the company couldn't have done much about it. But they all knew the risk and they were as busy as it got, not really having time for relationships anyway, so Jaehyun didn’t have to worry about it before. Not until you came back into his life.

“So? What do you say about that dinner?” He asked again, hopeful, practically feeling the awkwardness melt around you when you let out a chuckle as melodic as he remembered.

“I could eat,” you admitted and Jaehyun beamed at you, his eyes turning into crescents.

It would have been a perfect moment, a dream coming true, framed by snowflakes gliding in the air… except that his phone started buzzing with a call in his pocket at that moment and the singer swore under his breath when he saw his manager’s contact information on the screen. His disappearance surely got discovered.

“Hey, hyung, something came up, so I left early, but don’t worry, everything’s okay. More than okay actually,” he quickly took the call and ended it immediately, not giving the man a chance to ask questions but hopefully not giving him a heart attack either. Then he turned to you with a wide smile. “Let’s go.”

You chuckled as the two of you synced your steps, walking into a random direction without any concrete destination plans. You even let him take the umbrella from your hand and hold it above your duo himself, your smile shy but genuine when your fingers brushed.

Jaehyun knew that this evening would make an even better love song than the last one.