"HuA ChEnG StAlkEd XiE LiAn FOr 800 YeArS"

"HuA ChEnG StAlkEd XiE LiAn fOr 800 YeArS—"

Hate to burst your bubble, but in order to stalk somebody, you actually have to know where they are.

Lucifer: Ok, fine! I slept with Diavolo back when I was an angel, ok?! But it was just sex! Nothing else happened.

The brothers:

The brothers: *Looks at Satan*

Satan:

Diavolo: *gasps and cries happy tears* ...son?

Satan: NO!

Ghost: This is my German shepherd, purebred. He's a retired K9 that I chose to adopt from my previous unit. It seemed meant to be since we called him Riley. Being a good boy who deserves good things, I occasionally get him a steak in addition to feeding him a raw diet of the highest quality protein.

Soap: My cat is this. I discovered him consuming a cupcake in the dumpster. I believe Bomb is the offspring of Satan, but that's alright. He would rather steal my bread from the kitchen, despite my attempts to feed him both wet and dry cat food. As a result, I bought a bread box, but it did not stop the bread thieves.

I don't like when people try to make hua cheng all cool and chill like no he's not. He's a pathetic loser. He probably cried himself to sleep after leaving that mountain. He probably passed out after seeing xie lian's ankles for the first time.