Finished The Season, Going Insane Rn

finished the season, going insane rn

i love this sm i love angst

Moth to a flame

Pairing: JJ Maybank x reader

Summary: She always goes back to him, no matter how much JJ hurts her. This time, however, is different and JJ slowly sees that.

Warnings: cursing, smut

Like a moth to a flame

I'll pull you in, I'll pull you back to what you need initially

It's just one call away

And you'll leave him, you're loyal to me

But this time I let you be

JJ had seen this before.

Y/N being sick of his shit. Tired of the way he’d constantly lead her on and then shutting her out completely. He didn’t want to be in a relationship with her, so she’d find someone else.

Someone sweeter, someone who’d want her. She’d find someone who’d give her all the attention she needed.

He watched them sitting on a log, the boy’s hand on her leg. She was smiling at him.

He thought about how she’d immediately go back to him if he called her right now. He imagined the way she would moan as his hands roamed her body, buried inside of her and the way the idiot she was looking at would be nowhere near the back of her mind. His hands hitched to grab his phone and make her leave the poor guy, but he knew it wasn’t right.

Y/N deserved something better, someone who wasn’t as messed up as him.

His jaw was tensed as he watched them, his eyes never leaving the pair. The guy was getting closer, his hand resting on Y/N’s thigh. Her eyes were happy, she was happy, but they didn’t sparkle like they did when she looked at him.

Suddenly, those same very eyes were looking right back at him. Her lips parted slightly, almost in surprise. He didn’t back down, continuing to stare at her.

Y/N knew that look. He was challenging her.

Go on.

He looked so good in his black tank and with his red cap on, she itched to get up and reach him. To touch him.

But then Y/N remembered their last encounter, the things he had said to her.

She was waiting for him, sitting in the porch at the Chateau. The old couch was comfortable and in her anxious state she almost wanted to lay down and let the sleep embrace her, but the nerves were eating her alive and she needed to talk to him.

It was eleven in the night when JJ got back, she heard his bike first. His footstep just minutes after and finally he was walking up the steps of the porch.

“Hey.” He said, surprised to see her, “What’s up?”

She couldn’t even look at him, “JJ.”

Her tone was low, disappointed, but always so sweet.

“What’s got you looking so down, baby?” He walked closer to her, raising a hand to touch her face but she turned it to the side.

“Someone told me about the girl from last night.” She spoke softly, “The blonde one?”

JJ took a step back, a sigh leaving his mouth. Y/N didn’t dare look at him, afraid she would cry.

“Who told you?” He sounded pissed off, and she found herself to be offended.

She finally looked up at him, “What does it matter, JJ?”

“It matters, okay? It’s none of their business, or yours for the matter.” He raised his voice.

Y/N looked taken aback and he almost apologized.

“I thought that— that-“

“What, Y/N?” He groaned, “What did you think? You know we’re not together, we’ve been over this.”

Her lips trembled, but she didn’t show him. She looked down, on the verge of crying. The sigh she let out was shaky.

“You didn’t want me to go out with Sean three weeks ago. I stayed with you. I’m such an idiot.” Y/N put her hands on her face.

JJ knew she was crying. It made his heart fall.

“Fucking doesn’t mean we’re together, Y/N.” He accused her.

“You know it’s not just that for me.” She finally looked at him, tears running down her cheeks, “You were my first time.”

Her voice was feeble, and JJ wanted to beat himself up.

“Why do you keep pushing me away?” She stood up.

He took another step back.

“It’s not like that for me and you know it.” His tone was stern now, “It’s not my fault you keep coming back to me, Y/N.”

JJ would never forget the look on her face.

“Right.” She nodded, head low as she surpassed him.

He watched the girl get on her car and leave, he could see her raise her hand to swipe the tears away before she was driving off.

That was the last time they’d seen each other, Y/N hadn’t been around the pogues since then.

She needed to remember the many times he had done this. He had broken her heart so many times she couldn’t let herself be a fool once again.

Y/N looked into his blue eyes one more time before shaking her head and turning away from him.

It caught him off guard. JJ expected her to shy away from the situation, to come back running to him.

This time was different.

'Cause he seems like he's good for you

And he makes you feel like you should

And all your friends say he's the one

His love for you is true

“It doesn’t bother you?” John B was speaking to him.

The blonde’s eyes were set on the couple sitting a few tables away from them at The Wreck.

The pogues had come in long after the two and found them already eating their food there. JJ didn’t expect Y/N to be still going out with the guy, so his heart missed a beat upon seeing his girl having a date with the idiot.

“He’s temporary.” He gave John B a smirk, although his friend could see the jealousy in his eyes.

“You’re so lame.” Kiara snorted, eyes on her food.

“Agreed.” Commented Pope.

“Just talk to her, bro.” The curly haired girl continued.

“About what?” JJ rolled his eyes.

The girl scoffed, not having the strength to put up with his act. She returned her attention to her food before Pope jokingly elbowed her and the blonde couldn’t help but wonder how good it must feel to be so effortlessly in love, without any problems and doubts in the way.

It didn’t help that Sarah and John B were also sitting in front of him, looking so in love it made him almost sick.

It wasn’t even ten minutes later that he heard a sweet voice by their table.

“Hey, guys.” Y/N was standing beside their table, a smile on her face as she tried avoiding JJ’s gaze. The douchebag was standing awkwardly behind her, waiting for the interaction to be over.

“Hey, Y/N/N.” Sarah grinned up at her, trying to fight off John B as he tried getting ketchup on her face.

The others greeted her too, everyone expect for JJ.

She had a disappointed look on her face as she listened to John B.

“We missed you today, think you’re gonna make it tonight?”

Y/N appreciated how the pogues didn’t mention the distance she had put between them and herself lately. They clearly knew about JJ and wanted to leave her be.

The blond was staring at the boy, so much that he was starting to be visibly uncomfortable. He scratched his neck under the scrutinizing gaze. Y/N noticed.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Me and Jake had planned this days ago.” She felt awkward, he could tell, “This is Jake, by the way.”

The others smiled at Jake, all but JJ, as expected. He just waved, a nervous smile on his face as he noticed.

“Jake, huh?” He finally spoke up, a slight smirk on his face, “Didn’t expect him to be your type, Y/N.” His eyes were finally on her as he blatantly ran them over her figure, especially focusing on the way the dress she was wearing accentuated her breasts.

“What do you mean?” Jake asked, an irritated expression on his face.

“She knows what I mean.” JJ’s eyes never looked away from Y/N’s.

Her cheeks brightened before she looked away.

She wanted to slap him. And then kiss him. But mostly slap that smirk off his face.

It wasn’t her fault he looked so handsome right now.

“Shut up, JJ.” She rolled her eyes, although he could see the way the pink lingered on her cheeks making her all flustered, “Bye, guys.”

She grabbed Jake’s arm and just like that they were gone.

He watched them leave before John B’s voice caught his attention.

“C’mon, man. You know I love you, but either you step up or leave her alone.”

“He seems like a good guy, JJ. I haven’t seen her so at peace for like, I don’t even know.” Kie scolded him, “You always do this, you don’t want her then you get all jealous and weird.”

JJ didn’t respond, instead their words about how Jake was making his girl feel resonating in his head. He thought about it; why was this thing lasting so long?

Was he really the guy for her? The good, well mannered wealthy guy?

But does he know you call me when he sleeps?

But does he know the pictures that you keep?

But does he know the reasons that you cry?

Or tell me, does he know where your heart lies?

Where it truly lies

It was one A.M. and JJ couldn’t sleep. He kept tossing around in his bed and the minute his eyes closed, visions and nightmares of his sweet girl moaning under another man clouded his mind.

What was happening to him? Why was he imagining her fucking the idiot?

He guessed it was his worst fear, her being taken away from him forever, someone else touching her.

He was just about to get up to get a glass of water when he heard his phone ring. He raised an eyebrow, wondering who the hell could it be this late at night.

He reached for the phone on his nightstand and he swore his heart missed a beat when her name flashed upon the screen.

“Y/N.” He answered, he couldn’t help but be worried about the reason she was calling this late when the two of them weren’t even on speaking terms. Had something happened?

“J.” She breathed, her voice a sweet whine.

Was she…?

“Y/N?” He repeated, a small sense of satisfaction beginning to grow in him. He could read her like an open book.

“I miss you,” She whispered, “I missed your voice.”

There she was. Coming back to him.

She always came back to him.

“Yeah?” He smirked, sitting up against the headboard.

“You know I miss you, come over?”

He felt his heart beat faster.

“You’re drunk, Y/N.” He answered.

He heard her sigh and shuffling around on the other side of the phone.

“I’ve just had a couple of drinks with the girls.” She sounded annoyed, her words slurred.

He was glad she was home safe.

“Don’t you miss me?” She countered, and JJ could hear her getting on the bed.

“You know I miss you, baby.” He gave her the truth, “But you’re drunk. You’re gonna regret this tomorrow. What about Jake?”

“As if you could care less about Jake.”

He chuckled, knowing it was the truth. He just wanted to speak some sense into her knowing she was drunk and not wanting to take advantage of her.

“You’re right, you know that?” He heard her humming in agreement, “But you’re still drunk. Are you tired, baby?”

“A bit.” She yawned, and he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell.

“Can you lay down and close your eyes for me?” He suggested, voice low and sweet and she was entranced by his voice.

“Hmm.”

“Did you close your eyes?”

“Yeah. I still wish you were here, though.” Y/N went on, her voice sleepy.

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

Yeah

You should be with him, I let you go from time

You should stay with him

Y/N had avoided the pogues like the plague. They hadn’t seen her in almost a week, Kie being especially disappointed in her best friend.

What she didn’t know was that she wasn’t avoiding them to be with some stupid boy, it was because she was embarrassed about her call to JJ.

But he knew this and, although he kept silent as not to expose her, the deep feeling of satisfaction was even bigger in him as he watched Y/N and Jake by his spot on a keg at the kegger.

Y/N had just arrived, she was on his arm but JJ could see she was nervous.

Her eyes were scanning the whole crowd, not sure how to approach her friends. She hoped the blonde hadn’t said anything to them but deep down she knew he hadn’t. She knew him.

She spotted Kiara having a conversation with some people she didn’t recognize and didn’t want to miss the opportunity. She wasn’t with the pogues and she had to talk to her.

She wanted to talk to Sarah too, but she guessed she was with John B where John B was, JJ was too.

“Hey, Jake.” She drew his attention, “I’m gonna head over there to say hi to Kiara. See you later, alright?”

He nodded, plastering a kiss on her cheek before the two parted and she was walking to her best friend.

“Hey.” She spoke up once she got there, “Can we talk?”

Kiara looked at her before a smile took over her face, “Look who decided to show her face.”

“Yeah, sorry.” She sheepishly countered, “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

The other girl nodded, saying her byes to the teens she had just been chatting with before grabbing her best friend’s hand and walking a few feet away from the group.

Then she stood, waiting for Y/N to speak up, “What’s up?”

Y/N looked around her to ensure none of the pogues were around. She had yet to see them.

“So…” She was so embarrassed, “I called JJ when we got back from the bar a week ago, I was drunk — but you know that, and asked him to come over.” She covered her face with her hands as she finished, not wanting to see the amused expression on Kie’s face.

She heard her laugh, “That’s why you’ve been avoiding us. You could’ve told me sooner.”

She removed her hands from her eyes, “I know but it was so embarrassing.”

Kiara chuckled, “God, Y/N, you’re such a simp.”

The girl’s cheek brightened, a laugh leaving her mouth. She knew it was true.

“What about Jake?” Her best friend asked.

Y/N just shrugged.

“Girl.” Kie deadpanned, ready to smack her friend.

“What am I supposed to do?” She sadly told her, “It’s not like JJ wants something to do with me. At least not anything serious. I love him but Jake is a good guy and he treats me well, don’t I deserve that?”

The curly haired girl sighed.

“Of course you do. But you may end up hurting him as long as JJ’s on your mind.”

Y/N knew she was right. She just wanted to forget about everything and not have to worry about anyone.

The two girls continued to chat and laugh while the night escalated.

JJ had watched a bit of the interaction just to be sure Kie wouldn’t lash out on Y/N. He knew she wouldn’t but the girl was unpredictable. He was glad when he saw them laughing together just a few minutes later and returned to his beer and his conversation with Pope and John B.

“Hey, guys, I’m gonna go get a refill.” JB announced after a while, his red cup empty in his hand.

“I’m coming too.” Pope got up with him.

“Be right back.” They told him.

He took a sip of his beer and just as his gaze was about to return on a certain girl, he heard a voice from beside him.

“Y/N told me about you two.”

It was Jake, and the blonde couldn’t help but chuckle. He had waited for him to be alone.

He was clearly intimidated by him and didn’t want him to have his friends as back up in case something had happened.

“That bothers you?” JJ looked up at him from his spot on the log, a small smirk on his face.

“Not at all.” His voice was tense, “I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t get in the way.”

He was already beginning to piss him off and it was the second time he opened his mouth to talk to him. However, he tried maintaining his calm and laid his hands behind him on the log, gaze scrutinizing the other teen who was standing in front of him.

“Sounds to me like it does.” He just answered.

Jake’s jaw ticked.

“No offense, man, but how could it?” He looked JJ up and down, trying to take a dig at him.

JJ laughed humorlessly, it wasn’t certainly the money that made Y/N come back to him every single time.

“I don’t think that what she cares about.” JJ smiled up at the boy, a hint behind his eyes.

“What’s happening?” They heard a voice just as Jake was about to respond.

“Nothing.” He quickly spoke up.

“Just your boyfriend trying to make sure I won’t get in the way of your relationship.” JJ retorted, Y/N could hear the amusement in his voice, “Nothing I can guarantee though, big boy.”

Jake launched himself towards the boy, an angry expression on his face and hadn’t it been for Y/N, who promptly put herself between the two boys, he would’ve tackled JJ to the ground.

But she had, and now he stood up, a new found rage behind his eyes that intimidated even Y/N.

The girl knew about his anger issues, about all the times he’d been in fights. She knew about his dad and the way all JJ waited for was to unleash his anger in these kind of situations. He’d learned how to fight from the master himself; Jake didn’t stand a chance.

“You want to be the tough guy, yeah?” He smiled, it made chills go down the girl’s spine, “I’ll show you how though you are.”

“Stop. What the fuck, guys?” She exasperated, arms in the air.

“You tell your boyfriend to chill before I do it.” JJ snarled.

“Jake, are you out of your mind?” Y/N looked at the boy accusingly.

“Why are you taking his side?” He spit.

“Aren’t you the one who started this nonsense?” She raised an eyebrow.

The commotion was starting to draw attention, and JJ could soon spot Kie making her way over.

“Why are you taking his side?” Jake repeated, an offended look painting his angry features.

“It’s not about sides, Jake.” She crossed her arms, “It’s about you coming here and starting this shit. What the hell are you doing? He’s my friend.”

Jake scoffed, and even JJ was tempted to. But he stayed silent, glaring at the idiot from behind Y/N.

“Friend my ass.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, pushing a hand through her long locks.

“What’s going on?” Kie’s voice resonated in the air.

“Yeah, what’s going on?” John B and Pope were there too and Y/N just wanted to be home and away from everyone. Sarah, who’d been with some of her old friends from the kook academy until now, was there too now, her hand in John B’s.

“It’s me or him right now, Y/N.” Jake spoke up, completely ignoring the girl’s friends.

JJ chuckled, although he could feel the nerves starting to form. What if she left with him?

“Oh, so that’s what’s going on.” John B’s amused face was making Y/N want to smack him too.

“What?” There was an expression on disbelief on her face and JJ wondered how she didn’t see this coming. He was an idiot after all.

“You heard me.”

Y/N looked back and forth between the two of them, and she knew it was time she made a decision.

She knew where her heart laid. A golden boy with hair the color of the sun and eyes the color of the sky was who her heart would always belong to. She thought about his touch, his scent, his kisses. She thought about the way he would make her feel beautiful and loved. But then she thought about the way he would make her feel so worthless she had never felt so alone. She thought about the days she couldn’t get a hold of him, or the times he’d been with others and she’d wondered why he couldn’t love her.

It’s not like that for me and you know it. He’d said to her.

So she chose her mind. She chose the boy who’d been nice to her all along. He’d took her on dates and bought her flowers and although he didn’t make her heart beat faster she knew he was the one who made her warm and safe.

She made a step towards Jake and without ever looking back, she said her feeble byes to her friends and walked away.

JJ felt his heart shutter. He didn’t think it was possible up until then.

He looked at Jake and felt the rage swirling in his veins at the grin he was giving him. He thought about tackling him to the ground and beating him up but what would the point be? Y/N had made up her mind and she’d chosen him.

He watched them walk away before he turned around and stormed out of the beach.

He didn’t stop when his friends called out his name, nor when he heard Kie beg him to stop.

But what did he expect? He knew what he’d said to her that night. He knew.

As Y/N left the party in Jake’s car, all she could think about was how JJ hadn’t mentioned their call to the boy.

'Cause he seems like he's good for you

And he makes you feel like you should

And all your friends say he's the one

His love for you is true (hey)

Y/N felt suffocated in the tight dress she was wearing.

Smile and introduce yourself to everyone. Jake had told her and she did just that, wanting for this to be over.

It was Midsummer’s and he’d invited her to attend with him and his family. She guessed this would make things official.

She felt uncomfortable the whole time, this was not her habitat and everyone knew that.

Kie was there, too, forced by her parents, but Y/N didn’t find it in herself to find this of any comfort. That was how sad and lonely she felt these days.

It had been a week since the kegger and things weren’t great for her. She hated herself for this but she missed a certain blond and nothing could take him off her mind no matter what.

She’d seen Kie and Sarah two days ago but even her best friends hadn’t been able to cheer her up.

“I can’t fucking believe it.” She heard Jake growl from beside her.

“What?” She looked up.

She saw him looking at something in front of them and she followed his gaze and there, all the way across the room, was JJ, clad in a waiter’s uniform and serving drinks.

She couldn’t explain the way her heart reacted upon seeing him even if she wanted too. She felt alive for the first time in a week.

“Of course he’d be here too. The guy’s everywhere.”

“Stop.” She deadpanned, giving him a nasty look.

But when she returned her eyes to the boy, her heart made a leap when noticing those same eyes she’d been dreaming about all week, were looking right back at her. There was a strange emotion behind them, one she’d never seen before. She wanted to run over there and hug him and kiss him, but knew she couldn’t.

JJ, on the other hand, didn’t expect her to be there either. His heart felt like it was breaking even more upon seeing her there with him, but then he noticed her sad eyes and all he wanted to do was get to her and make everything that was hurting her go away.

The exchange of longing looks was quickly interrupted by Jake who hooked their arms and pulled her away to go meet yet another disgusting kook when his parents called him over.

She looked back at JJ while Jake dragged her away and her heart missed a beat when she noticed his eyes following her.

The night passed quickly, JJ couldn’t wait to get out of there and get wasted to forget the way she looked on his arm, with his family and dressed like one of them.

He guessed it was his own fault. He’d been the one to push her away, so why was he so angry? He’d seen the way Jake tended to Y/N all night, the way his attention was constantly on her. He behaved like a gentleman and he knew then why she’d chosen him.

He gave her everything he couldn’t.

Maybe it was for the best.

But does he know you call me when he sleeps? (No, no)

But does he know the pictures that you keep? (Oh)

But does he know the reasons that you cry?

Or tell me, does he know where your heart lies?

Where it truly lies

He didn’t know she’d be laying in her bed just hours laters, tears running down her cheeks. She felt so lonely, it was breaking her heart.

She had everything she wanted in a relationship so why was she feeling this way?

It was the pictures on her phone.

The one where JJ stood behind her, his arms around her frame and his head on hers.

The one where he kissed her cheek.

The one where they laid naked in bed, her arms around his neck.

The one where they smiled at the camera.

The one where they slept on the hammock entangled in each other that JB had taken.

Her favorite was one Kie had taken; it pictured them sitting on the couch, her legs thrown over JJ’s. She had stolen his cap and she was putting it on her head. The thing she loved was the adoring look he had on his face as she looked at her, a small smile on his lips.

There were so many she couldn’t even scroll through all of them because she felt her heart shutter at the thought of never having him this close again.

Right here with me, babe

Where it truly lies

My bed, babe

Where it truly lies

In my arms, babe

Where it truly lies

It was two days laters when Y/N decided she’d had enough. She’d been spending her days crying at home, avoiding Jake and never answering his massages nor his calls.

She missed her friends and wanted to bask in the comfort of their presence and this was the only thought in her mind when she showed up that night at the Chateau after meeting up with Jake to end things. He hadn’t taken it very well.

“Look who’s here!” John B had announced.

Seconds later she was engulfed by the comforting embrace of Sarah. She’d almost tackled her to the ground with her hug but Y/N didn’t mind, the familiar touch and perfume of the bubbly blonde almost enough to make her cry again.

She said hi to everyone before she sat down by the fire with them.

She couldn’t help but notice the absence of JJ, and although she was a little disappointed she thought it was better this way; she actually felt relieved.

She was grateful when none of her friends asked her invading questions. They just let her be and enjoyed her presence again, making her feel part of the group again immediately.

She tried keeping up with the conversations and jokes but her mind was very tired. She hadn’t slept in days and now that she felt this much comfort again she just wanted to lay down and rest.

“Hey, John B.” She called for his attention, her voice sweet as always, “Do you think— do you think JJ would mind if I used his bedroom just for a bit? I haven’t slept in days and I feel really tired.”

Sarah threw her a sympathetic look from beside JB, who answered immediately, “Yeah, go ahead. I haven’t seen him all day, I don’t think he’s gonna show up tonight.”

She felt content and at peace in the Chateau. The pogues were her family and she couldn’t love them more. She smell of JJ’s cheap cologne surrounded her and relaxed her whole being. It didn’t surprise when she felt sleep embrace her.

That was until she felt a familiar bike approaching the house before pulling up.

She felt panic rise in her chest as she sat up. Her heartbeat accelerated. What would she say to him?

Too late, the bike had already stopped and minutes later, she felt the door of the Chateau open. She guessed the others told him she was in there.

She scrambled to get up in time and made her way to the door, opening it.

There stood JJ, his hand raised to open it too.

She took a step back, redness exploding on her cheeks and she started stuttering.

“Uh, sorry— sorry J. JB told be you probably wouldn’t be here tonight and I was just trying to sleep but I heard your bike.” She rushed, “I’ll go.”

She tried making her way past him but he grabbed her arm. She shuddered under his familiar touch.

“It’s fine, you can stay. I’ll sleep on the couch.” His eyes never looked away from hers, making her all the more a blushing mess.

“Okay, thanks.” She agreed without even thinking.

What?

They stood there, looking at each other. So much was on their minds they wanted to say, but neither spoke up.

“Okay then, goodnight.” She ended the awkward moment.

Y/N tossed around the bed all night. The thought of his presence just mere meters from her made her heart go crazy. She craved his touch, his presence. But she couldn’t so instead she resoluted to turning around every now and then in hope of sleep engulfing her again.

At four A.M., she decided to get up and get something to drink. JJ would surely be asleep by now.

Her feet carried her to the kitchen lightly.

Her heart jumped to her stomach when she noticed the light of a phone where the couch was. JJ was awake and scrolling through his phone. His raised his eyes from the phone to look at her when he noticed her presence, a surprised look merely taking over his features.

“Oh.” She mumbled, “Sorry, just wanted a glass of water.”

He watched her as she opened the refrigerator and poured herself some water, then quickly drank it. It looked to him as if she wanted to be gone as soon as possible.

“C’mere, Y/N.” She suddenly heard his voice just as she was about to walk back to JJ’s room.

“What?” She whispered, heart thumping against her ribcage.

“Come here.”

She did. She didn’t know why, but she had stopped questioning herself around JJ. It was as if his mere presence made her drunk, her mind never properly working.

She stood in front of him, hands fidgeting at her sides.

JJ grabbed one of them, pulling her towards him. He dragged her down on him until she was straddling him, she gasped as her hands came up to his shoulders for support after the sudden movement.

“What are you doing, JJ?” She asked, panic in her voice.

“I miss us, Y/N.” He simply said, making her heart stop beating.

How could he say something like that so easily?

She wanted to slap him.

“We can’t.”

“I say we can.” He whispered as he got closer, lips millimeters from hers.

She lowered her hands, now pushing back against his chest. He sighed, sitting down against the couch and looking up at her. There was a longing look behind his eyes.

“I can’t.” She repeated, this time making herself very clear.

It was as if Y/N had just thrown a bucket of cold water on him, he looked as if he had sobered up.

“Jake’s an idiot.” He whispered, even the mention of his name irritating him.

“He’s not. He does everything a boyfriend is supposed to.”

He scoffed.

“That’s the only reason you like him for?”

She tried thinking of anything else, but she ended up lying to herself over and over again, for every reason she came up with. Was that really the only thing he liked him for?

Sure, he was a good looking guy, but that wasn’t a reason. He was nice, but a lot of people were. He treated her well. There we go again.

“I deserve to be happy, JJ.” She sadly said.

He knew she was referring to him, his hands itched to grab her, to comfort her.

“I know you do, Y/N/N.” He said.

“Then what is it that you want?” She angrily asked, her hands pushing him again.

Suddenly she was angry, not understanding why he couldn’t let her be. Why he couldn’t let her be happy.

She knew that if she really stopped to think about it, she would have realized what she was feeling now, with Jake, was far from happiness, but nonetheless she took out her anger on him.

And JJ, who couldn’t help but feel like an idiot, couldn’t really answer her question.

What do I want?

“Y/N I-“ She was already getting up to leave when he couldn’t even finish the sentence.

JJ didn’t let her leave this time.

He’d done that again and again, and every time he’d hurt himself and Y/N. He wouldn’t let her go this time.

He grabbed her hips and pulled her down again; she began pushing at him nonstop, fighting the willing to cry.

He could see her eyes getting watery, her lips trembling and she fought against him.

“I want us, Y/N.” He finally told her, grabbing her face with his hands.

Y/N stopped writhing, a few tears cascading down her cheeks. His hands were resting on each side of her face, a thumb wiping them away.

“Stop fooling around, J.”

But he could see the hopeful glint behind her emotional eyes, he could see the way she’d stopped breathing, waiting for him to go on.

He felt his heart hurt a little less knowing she was still waiting for him. Knowing she still wanted him.

“I’m not.” He promised, “I want you, Y/N.”

One of his hands left her face, coming down to rest on her hip. The other continued to caress her cheek as she subconsciously leaned into his comforting touch.

“I can’t do this again, J.” She brokenly whispered, afraid it would be like every other time.

“No, no.” He reassured her, “I mean it this time, baby. I’m serious about me. I’m yours, if you still want me.”

Y/N felt her heart beating so hard against her ribcage she feared he would hear it, too. It felt like some kind of dream.

She’d been in love with this boy for so many years, for so much time that she didn’t think it was possible for him to finally reciprocate her feelings for him.

What she didn’t know, was that he had all along. JJ was just— JJ. He was afraid, and these kind of things were never his forte. He was afraid she would leave like everyone else and he’d get his heart broken, had he ever let her in. So instead he just pushed her away. Time after time.

“What are you saying, J?” Her hands came up to his shoulders again, shaking slightly.

“I’m saying I’m ready, Y/N.” He pushed a strand of hair away from her beautiful face, “No more running away from my feelings, no more denying.”

She just stared at him, too entranced by the whole situation and his words. Her eyes held that adoring look that he loved, making him feel some type of way.

“What do you say?” He asked her.

“I don’t want this to be just because of Jake.” She told him.

He heard the sadness in her voice and saw the fear behind her eyes.

“It’s not that, baby.” He went on, “Seeing you with him just made me realize things. I know you feel nothing for him and I certainly know he doesn’t mean anything to you, alright? But it made realize I can’t stand here and let you go just because I’m so afraid of my feelings. I can’t imagine myself feeling these things for anyone else, Y/N. And I don’t want to push it away any longer.”

Her smile made his heartbeat stutter, and it suddenly felt happy again.

“I’m yours, JJ.”

And then he kissed her.

And it was something Y/N could never describe. She felt happiness again, she felt home.

His arms circled her waist bringing her closer to him. They kissed until the two of them couldn’t breathe, and then they kissed again. And again.

She moaned into his mouth when she felt him underneath her. She moved her hips against his and he groaned, suddenly standing up and carrying her to his bedroom.

She laughed, securing her arms around his neck. He continued kissing her neck until they were in the bedroom, kicking the door shut and gently throwing her in the bedroom.

Chuckling, she got ahold of his t-shirt and dragged him down with her. Her hands found his shorts in a matter of seconds, bringing them down his legs as he too undressed her.

“I missed this body.” He whispered against her skin, lips trailing down her stomach.

Y/N didn’t remember how they were suddenly naked, she could however remember the feeling of his lips gracing her, his fingers tracing her thighs.

“Tell me you didn’t let him touch you.”

“I didn’t.” She shook her head, eager for his touch, “I promise.”

It sounded like a beg, and Y/N didn’t miss the way he smirked before his fingers were inside her.

Her back arched, a moan leaving her own mouth as she squeezed the sheets between her fingers.

“J.” She whined when his tongue joined his fingers.

He worked like a God, and Y/N had missed him. She missed the way he could make her feel and although she didn’t have anyone else to compare him to, she knew he was the best she could ever have and the voices about him on the island confirmed it.

His touch was driving her crazy, moans escaping her as her hips bucked up to meet him.

“So sweet.” He mumbled against her.

He added another finger making her tremble, she was completely at his mercy.

And then, between the pleasure and his touch, Y/N had started to become needier.

She whined, coming up to rest on her elbows, “I need you, J.”

JJ thought he’d die right then and there.

He looked up at her, that smirk of him gracing his features. Her hand came down to meet his face as she encouraged him to come back up. He did, leaving a last kiss on her and making her shudder before meeting her lips again. She could taste herself on him.

“Please.”

It was all it took for JJ to stop teasing her.

She felt his member at her entrance, chills running down her spine as she arched her spine from that pleasure alone.

His hand was on her cheek as he pushed inside of her, his mouth immediately opening in pleasure and a groan leaving his lips. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Y/N closed her eyes as a gasp left her; they hadn’t been together for some time and she was having a bit of difficulty readjusting to his size, the slight burn hurting her. It was a good hurt.

“I know, baby.” He kissed her, “Haven’t been taking good care of you lately, have I?”

She raised her head slightly to kiss him again, needing the comfort. Her hands found his cheeks as the kiss deepened, his pace fastening causing whimpers to fall from her lips between the kisses.

“I know you can take it.” He prodded her.

She nodded, moaning when the pain slowly started to melt into pleasure.

“I can take it, J.” She gave in to him, her legs finding her way around his waist and bringing him closer.

His thrusts became faster and harder as time passed, sweet nothings whispered into each other’s ears.

It was the most intense feeling Y/N had ever experienced, being with JJ.

Again, she’d never been with guys before him, but she knew it couldn’t have been like this for everyone — sex with JJ felt like daydreaming. She couldn't put it into words. It wasn't just physical; it felt as if their whole beings, bodies and souls became one.

And this time felt so much more intimate, loving, and as thought the two of them were meant to be together. And Y/N was sure they were.

She moaned a bit too loudly when he hit a particular spot, pleasure exploding in her lower stomach as he repeatedly thrusted inside of her. Her nails left marks on his back, her arms now around his neck as she stifled the sounds she was making by biting down on his shoulder. JJ moaned, one of his hands coming down her back to lift her up against him as she arched her spine.

“I missed you.” He kissed her neck, “Mine.”

Then she was pushing her hands against his chest and made him sit down on the bed, coming up so straddle his waist. Her hand wrapped around his cock, giving it a few pumps before lining it up with her entrance and then sinking down on it.

She sat down completely on his member and JJ threw his head back in pleasure, his jaw tense as his hands found her waist, squeezing the flesh.

“You look like a Goddess.” He groaned out as she began moving up and down on him, hands on his shoulders.

Her pace fastened, hips coming down to meet his waist in hard motions. Y/N felt she was close.

“God, JJ.” She cried, her movements becoming sloppier as she came closer.

She loved the sounds he was making, loved the way his eyes were shut in pure bliss and his abs were tense in please.

“You take me so good, baby.” He told her, “I’m gonna cum.”

“I want it inside, J.” She whispered in his ear, “I want you to come inside of me.”

It was enough for JJ to cum, his high triggering her own.

She placed open mouthed kisses on his chest as she came down.

“Fuck.” She panted.

One of her hands came up to her face, her thumb caressing his skin as he brought her closer to him, eyes never leaving her.

“I love you, Y/N.”

And it was that night, their bodies tangled together in his sheets that JJ understood that no matter what happened, her heart would always lay with him.

Taglist: @soapiebear @70smaybank @maybankslover @myguiltypleasures21 @chaoticavrey

---

YESSS i can sleep in peace now that they're back i love them

Kids | Rodrick Heffley

Spotify Link

Rodrick Heffley becomes obsessed when he finally meets his thirty-five year old band mate, Bill Walter’s, younger sister.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Sexual content.

“This Night Has Opened My Eyes”

“Losing My Religion”

Sara Walter ran down the stairs with a reluctant weight to her steps; she and Lauren Do had had a sleepover the Saturday night before that involved a bottle of wine, prescriptions that weren’t under either of their names, and Uptown Girls. How Sara wished she could’ve been a Brittany Murphy blonde instead of a Courtney Love blonde.

She all but rolled herself down the stairs and opened her front door, not at all expecting who she found.

“Hey, Sara.”

She was stunned. Flabbergasted. Even a little offended.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” she murmured, actually taken aback.

“I decided to leave Boston,” Tyler Hayden announced.

“Yeah, I see that,” Sara said, not giving him the welcome with open arms he was hoping for.

“Sara, I hated it there,” he confessed to her.

“And why’s that?” she crossed her arms.

“I, it just… It was fine. Better than fine, actually,” her ex-boyfriend admitted. “But there was just something wrong with it,” he said, caring a little too much about his little speech.

“What was wrong with it?” Sara asked through gritted teeth.

“I—”

That was all Tyler could say before their conversation was interrupted.

“Oh my God! Is that Tyler?!”

Sara winced with discomfort as Tyler smiled and waved to her mother, enjoying the attention far too much.

“Hi, Destiny,” Tyler greeted her.

He was the only person Sara had ever known who was allowed to call her mother by her name.

“What are you doing back here, I thought you moved to Boston,” Sara’s mother remarked.

“Oh, I decided to come back home,” Tyler stated, glancing over at Sara with an uncomfortable longing, “I… missed it here.”

“Well, welcome back,” Sara’s mother beamed. “Hope I’ll be seeing more of you.”

There was a lot of subtext here. Sara rolled her eyes, knowing her mother never liked Rodrick even though she barely interacted with him.

“That’s the plan,” Tyler responded brightly, once again sounding far too hopeful.

“Well I certainly hope it works out.”

Destiny Sharpe smiled as she walked away up the stairs, and Sara shot him a look.

“What the fuck. I told you if you ever came back not to look for me,” she said with a deep severity.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Tyler apologized, “But I just had to see you… There’s so much I want to say to you…”

This hurt Sara the most because out of everyone she’d ever been with, excluding her ex-girlfriend Nadine, Tyler was the one whose apology would’ve meant the most to her. Had it not been for his own gain. Sara hated looking at Tyler in that moment, with his almost shaggy nineties ‘good boy’ hair, and his almost preppy oversized sweater.

Sara absolutely hated that he looked like Milo Thatch; it was what she couldn’t resist about him. He was the ‘good boy’, despite some of his behavior, and she was ‘bad girl’.

“Then say it,” Sara said painfully, before they were interrupted one more time.

“Hey, Sar, I think you’re out of…”

There was a deafening silence at the end of that sentence when Lauren stopped at the bottom of the stairs, realizing who was at the door.

“Oh, god, I can’t do this, I have too much hangxiety,” Lauren announced, before bolting past Tyler right out the door.

Sara just sighed, wishing she could do the same as Tyler just looked at her.

“Sara, I think you know exactly why I’m here,” he told her.

“Don’t…”

“I’m sorry. I regret how I left. I miss you, I wanna be with you,” he begged her desperately.

“You called me a drug addict!” Sara shouted.

“No, I didn’t,” he said sadly, “It was in the heat of the moment, and I called you Amy Winehouse—”

“That’s even worse, you know how much I love her!” she exclaimed.

“I know, and I’m sorry,” he pleaded, “I never should’ve said those things.”

“Well, you did, and you can’t undo that damage,” Sara stated firmly, “Now, I have a boyfriend, still, I think, who I love very much, so you need to get out of here!”

“I’ll leave if you tell me you don’t love me,” Tyler said dramatically.

She just blinked her eyes in complete shock, unsure of how to even react.

“What?!” she yelled at him more loudly than she had yelled in a very long time.

“If you can look me in the eyes, and tell me I’m not the one for you, that you wanna marry, and have kids with, and whatever else, I’ll leave!” Tyler announced. “Because that’s what you are to me!”

“Okay, fine then,” Sara agreed emphatically, “I don’t love you anymore!”

Evidently, this was not the outcome Tyler was expecting, and he was thrown.

“What?” he questioned.

“I don’t love you!” Sara cried, still flabbergasted. “You’re months too late! This might’ve worked in August, but not anymore! Go away!”

“Are you sure about that?” he asked desperately. “I feel like there was still something between us when I left—”

“Yeah. There was,” she nodded. “And then you left. With no regard for me, or how I felt. I don’t hate you, Tyler, but I don’t even like you. Coming here was a mistake.”

“I don’t believe that,” he expressed.

“That’s what’s wrong with you; you see what you wanna see,” Sara said coolly. “Now, I have a boyfriend, and… I love him. So there’s nothing for us to talk about. I wish you the best. Goodbye. Forever.”

Sara waited patiently, as Tyler Hayden stood at her doorstep, slowly coming to terms with reality.

“I’m gonna miss you, Sara.”

“I spent months missing you, to no avail. Now it’s your turn,” she informed him, before slowly closing the front door on him.

Knowing on some level that Tyler was still standing on the other side of the door, processing at his own speed, Sara exhaled deeply, letting out a pathetic, shaky sigh as she sank to the ground. Unfortunately, this moment was less of a rom-com moment and more of a Girl, Interrupted moment.

Why everything had to be happening at once, she had no idea. She hadn’t expected Tyler Hayden, of all people, to randomly show up back in Plainview on her doorstep. And now that he did, all she knew for sure was that she wanted to be with Rodrick. No one else, ever again, just Rodrick.

Sara sat hopelessly on the ground, struggling to breathe as she was overwhelmed my a mixture of hangxiety and life. Despite what she had said to Tyler, she didn’t know if she still had a boyfriend in Rodrick. She didn’t know if he still wanted to date her, or if he’d forgive her after the way she’d ran out on him without a word this entire time.

She knew, on some level, that most of this was all in her head, and she just needed to go and talk to Rodrick, but at this point, she had no idea how. One little incident, and she’d run off never to be heard from again. This all was too much for her at the moment, but Sara knew that the one thing she could never expect from life was a break.

“Why do you do this to yourself, Sara?” her mother’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Do what?” Sara said through gritted teeth, not at all in the mood for this.

“Why do you always make the worst possible choices?” Destiny Sharpe asked her.

“What are you talking about?” Sara stared.

“I’m talking about Tyler. The only boyfriend you’ve ever had who’s worth a damn,” Destiny reasoned. “He just told you he wanted to give things a shot again, and you turned him down?”

“I have a boyfriend, Mom,” Sara said in disbelief.

“A loser who plays in a shitty metal band who can’t even spell isn’t much of a boyfriend,” Destiny reminded her.

“Oh, so that’s what this is. You hate Rodrick so much you’d rather I get back with the guy who broke my heart,” she nodded, enraged.

“At least Tyler can make up for his faults,” she said softly.

“You know what, Mom, Rodrick has done more for me, and you, than you’ll ever understand,” Sara scoffed, standing up. “I’ve only had one boyfriend who’s both accepted me for who I am, and encouraged me to be better. I’ve only had one boyfriend who’s taken Connor to the movies with his friends, or gone so far as to yell at his mom in defense of me, and our family, and it wasn’t Tyler! You take Rodrick for granted! And frankly, so do I these days!” she spat angrily.

“Sara, you can do so much better,” her mother responded persistently.

“You, of all people, have no right to say that to me,” Sara assured her, storming off to her bedroom.

Sara had made up her mind. She’d taken a shower and cleaned herself up to drive herself over to Rodrick’s to apologize. It was all she could think about, consuming her every thought. She had to make things right; she was determined.

The moment she arrived at the Heffleys’, she ran out of the car to the door, sighing to herself and ensuring she was calm enough before she knocked. Unfortunately, she was not in luck when the door opened.

“Oh. Sara,” Susan Heffley breathed, looking as if she’d seen a ghost.

“Hi, Mrs. Heffley,” Sara Walter greeted her awkwardly, not sure of what to say.

“Come in,” the woman said automatically, unsure of what else to do.

“Thanks,” Sara said quietly, accepting the invitation.

She entered the house apprehensively as Susan shut the door behind her, looking around nervously.

“Rodrick’s upstairs,” Susan told her, “I can go and get him if you’d like.”

“Yes, please, thank you,” Sara said politely.

“But… before I do, sweetie, I, um…” the words were difficult for her to get out. “I’m really sorry, Sara. For the horrible things that I said that night, about you, and your family,” she apologized.

“It’s okay,” Sara said quickly, not really wanting to talk about it.

“No, it’s really not,” Susan admitted. “I said before I’d stop judging and respect you and your family. And I certainly didn’t keep that promise. I was rude, and cruel, and extremely superficial. I behaved like a monster, and I’m really ashamed of myself,” she offered genuinely.

“It’s okay… Some of the things you said weren’t that far off,” Sara murmured.

“Oh, that’s not true,” Susan seemed sad to hear her say so. “Listen, you and Rodrick… You do a lot of questionable things. And that stuff will be dealt with. But the way I talked to you… That was unforgivable. Especially considering how much you love Rodrick, and our family. I was unappreciative, and ungrateful, and judgmental. You’re one of us now. And I should have known better, as an adult. I’m sorry, Sara,” she tried to bridge the gap.

Sara nodded slowly, appreciating the genuine effort that she had never put in before.

“Thank you, Susan. That means a lot.”

“Of course,” she nodded, relieved that they agreed. “I’ll go tell Rodrick you’re here.”

Susan Heffley disappeared upstairs for a moment, leaving Sara alone in the foyer. Soon enough, because they were in the Heffley house, someone else came practically bolting down the stairs a moment later.

“Sara?!” Greg realized, eyes wide as he came down the stairs. “I knew I heard your voice!”

“Hey, kiddo,” Sara smiled softly, giving him a gentle hug.

“I missed you,” Greg sighed with relief.

Sara was one of the few people he actually hugged of his own accord.

“I missed you, too,” she mumbled, “More than you know.”

Greg went back upstairs after a minute, and eventually, Susan came back downstairs, just before Rodrick slowly appeared in the hall outside his bedroom door. He just stood there, in his old white T-shirt, beyond relieved to see Sara. It felt like it had been years. His eyes lit up when he saw her, and she was relieved that he wasn’t angry with her.

“Rodrick, I’m so sorry,” she apologized, the saddest look in her eyes.

His dark eyes just locked onto hers as he realized everything was going to be alright.

“It’s okay,” he breathed, coming downstairs immediately.

She didn’t have to say anything else. She sighed exhaustedly as he wrapped her in the most warm, loving hug he could, just like they used to do all the time. Both were just happy to feel whole again as they found their way back together. Sara couldn’t explain what happened in that moment.

It was just a shared moment of clarity; both of them knew then exactly what was important, and what didn’t matter.

-

i just want a jj maybank in my life

Till Forever Falls Apart // Ghost of You

navigation -- series masterlist

summary: nobody said the journey to el dorado would be easy. you, john b, and sarah are trying to stick together but with your dad making things harder at every turn, it's difficult to tell if you'll make it out of this treasure hunt alive.

warnings: spoilers for s3, deat!h, anxiety attacks, shitty parenting, injuries, marijuana, angst woo! I got some fluff in there too tho

--

You and Sarah eventually fell asleep in one of the hammocks together, the warm humid air quickly lulling you to sleep. John B was curled up somewhere nearby, no doubt snoring away like he always did. 

Your dad was the first one awake, obviously trying to sneak out before anyone else had a clue, but John B was quick to bust him and shake you and Sarah from your sleep. 

“That site’s a whole day’s walk. We gotta get up there before moonrise. If we miss the solstice, then all this was for nothing.”

Sarah stood up behind you with her backpack ready to go, covered with John B’s button-up that he had been wearing. You moved quickly to shrug a new shirt over your sports bra, refusing to live in sweat the way your brother did. 

“So listen, Sarah. Y/N.  I’m telling you right now, if you fall behind, I ain’t waiting.”

You rolled your eyes at his shitty attitude while John B attempted to make the peace. You turned to Sarah and offered her your hand. “We’ll be fine,” You reassured. She gave you a smile and placed her palm in yours before the two of you walked away from the boys down the dock. 

“I’m gonna go tell that son of a bitch he ain’t coming,” Your dad said as he stormed past you to where Ward was struggling to get to his feet. 

As if he was reading everyone’s mind, Ward stopped his approach. “Hey, listen, fellas. I’m really sorry, but, uh…I’m not gonna be able to make it up that mountain, not on this leg. I’d be slowing you down, that’s all. So, I’m just gonna hang here. Tell you what, I got a flare gun. If I see Singh come through here, I’ll send up a flare to let you all know he’s coming. Least I could do.”

Sarah thanked him softly as he wished you all good luck. You didn’t say another word and let Sarah keep her hold on your hand to guide you ahead. In the back of your head, the idea of hiking definitely did not sound appealing, especially in this kind of heat of daylight. 

“Come on, kids! Pick it up. I don’t got time to waste.”

That was one of thirty nasty things your dad had been yelling in the four hours you’d all been hauling ass over the terrain. It was hill after hill and your legs were already itching from all the bugs and vegetation you’d come into contact with. You’d grown tired of it before it even started, but you couldn’t turn back now. 

Sometimes you’d be pulling Sarah along. Other times John B would help push you over a particularly difficult hill. The three of you were just tag teaming on helping each other, to your father’s dismay. You weren’t sure how such a large man who filled his system with alcohol more than anything wasn’t struggling in the slightest to keep going. 

John B tripped on loose soil, stumbling in his step just in time for Sarah to catch him. “Hey, you good?”

Your brother grunted as he stood back up. “Yeah,” He was breathless in his reply.

“Come on, let’s get a move on!” Your dad yelled back from a good twenty feet ahead.

“Hey, Pops. How about we take a breather, you know?” John B asked as you all stood under the shade of a tree for a moment. 

“How bout not? Come on, boy. You’re all slowing me down, we’re losing light.”

You let out a small groan of complaint and forced yourself upright. Your back was killing you, as it always seemed to do ever since Pope totaled Mr. Carrera’s truck with all of you inside. You meant what you said, you were doing this for John B, but if your dad didn’t shut the hell up, you’d throw him down the cliff yourself. 

“I can’t take this anymore.” John B was quiet as he spoke to you and Sarah before storming to catch up with Big John. “Hey! Hey.”

You grabbed Sarah’s hand again, both of you leaning on each other as you shuffled your way up the hill. Wiggling your backpack to your front, you managed to grab a water bottle out and cracked it open for the two of you to share as John B tried to talk some sense into your father. 

You could vaguely hear your two family members arguing over Sarah’s presence as you refocused on the girl in front of you. “Can you tell why I wasn’t too disappointed when he disappeared?”

Sarah let out a small laugh and took another sip of water before handing it back to you. “I should’ve believed you.”

The two of you caught up to where John B was waiting after Big John dipped on him again. Your brother reached for Sarah’s hand to help her as you gave him the rest of the water bottle to take. 

“Sorry,” Your blonde friend apologized as she regained her footing in the loose soil. “Camerons aren’t really a hiking family if I’m being honest.”

You laughed as you wiped sweat from your face. “Trust me, Routledges aren’t either unless there’s gold on the other side, clearly.”

“Sorry about him,” John B apologized back to her, “He gets a little obsessive over the treasure.”

“And you don’t?” Sarah shot back with a smile on her face. “Come on, let’s go.”

The breeze picked up as you guys finally hit a more open space on your climb. Somewhere up ahead, Big John cheered which meant he must’ve reached the top of your current expedition. “Woohoo! Come on, take a look at this!”

You turned the corner to see the grassland branch out as far as you could see, the sun casting a gorgeous glow over all of it. Although the view was pretty, you were dreading having to continue hiking through it all.

Your dad spared a good thirty seconds to let everyone enjoy the sight before continuing on. “Let’s keep trucking. At least it’s downhill, huh?”

The sun eventually calmed into the night as the four of you walked along nonstop. You weren’t even sure where exactly you were going, but you did know you’d need the shower of a lifetime after this. If you ever got a chance to shower, that is.

Eventually, you had to resort to flashlights to keep going. With no map to lean on, there was always a chance you’d been walking in circles at this point. You really hoped that wasn’t true.

“Do you see that?” Big John’s flashlight crossed over a break in the trees, getting your attention. “It’s just as the legend predicted it.”

The picture of Solana that you’d seen from Professor Sowell was pretty accurate. The idol sight was captivating with all the intricate stone markings, which your dad pointed out were in the position of the cardinal directions. 

“There it is. The temalacatl.”

The circle stone that the gnomon belonged to rested in the center. You moved your light over it as your fingers touched the surface, tracing all the detailed lines carved in. 

“Holy shit,” You spoke in astonishment, surprised that you guys actually made it here after all this time. 

“This proves that the Kalinago were every bit the equal to the Mayans,” Your dad explained, “This…this is gonna rewrite everything. Oh, you see that? Right here. That’s where she goes.” 

He brushed over the area where the gnomon belonged before scrambling to get the stone out of his bag. It fit perfectly into the square and sunk in confirmation. “Okay, John B. I want you on translation. Sarah, gather up some mud to mark the glyph so we know what to translate. Y/N, you call out the glyph so your brother knows what to look for. Be quick, okay?”

You all did as you were told, Sarah scooping up some mud below your feet to use before returning to your side. You stood in between her and John B, prepared to call out the glyphs that you’d need. You waited anxiously for something to happen. The moon needed to rise to the correct spot for you to figure out what to do next.

The eyes of the gnomon began to glow with the brightness of the moon, causing the first glyph to light up on it. 

“Mark it, mark it! What is it?”

“It looks like a boot,” You called back to John B as Sarah marked it off with a small dot. 

“Brave traveler, brave traveler.”

The pattern moved like that for a while, your dad barking orders and demanding perfection as you, John B, and Sarah moved quickly. Big John worked on translating the sentences as they went by. Eventually, one of the glyphs lit up, this one meaning patience. 

You bit back a laugh as your dad scrambled backward as if he hadn’t just been down your throats for the past three minutes. Leave it to him to think he possessed a quality you’d never seen from him your entire life. 

A new glyph lit up, this one on the stone of the temalacatl. A few more followed it.

“That’s wisdom again!”

“Darkness, that’s darkness. A-And that one’s seeker!”

“Sarah, what is hand?”

“I don’t know, I don’t see it on here!”

“Oh, I know this.” All attention turned to your dad as he continued to write on the scrap piece of paper. “Hand, hand. Hand means home. It’s showing us the direction to El Dorado!”

Thunder crashed above you as bits of rain started to fall while Big John was quick to connect that last of your clues together. 

“What we got old man?”

“I… I have no tongue but I’m always speaking,” He read.

Sarah looked over at you. “What does it mean?”

You watched as your dad glanced up at her then back at his paper. “Dad, just spit it out.”

“I’m still working on it,” He replied very unconvincingly as he tucked the paper and pencil back into his pocket. You could see it though, the hesitation in your dad’s eyes as he stared at your best friend next to you.

“Dad, what are you doing?” John B looked at him confused, clearly missing whatever was going on. 

“I’ve got all the notes. I-We know which way we’re going. It’s-”

“It’s because I’m here,” Sarah cut him off as she stared ahead blankly. “This is about me, isn’t it? Big John, I am not my father. And I’m not my brother. You can trust me.”

John B evidently picked up on what was going on once Sarah pointed it out. His anger bubbled quickly, “What does it say? Hey, look at me. We all just went through hell and back to get here. Tell me what it says.”

Your dad remained silent, to nobody’s surprise.

“This is what we’re doing, huh? Just gonna use us, just gonna pull us in and push us out, like you did with Mom, like you’re doing to Y/N, and to me? And look, now you’re doing it to Sarah! Tell us what it is!”

“What does it say, Dad?” Your voice held a lot of hurt as you yelled over the thunder above. “What does it say?”

“Yes, John! What does it say?” You jumped at the new voice as you turned to see a silhouette hiding in the trees. “Huh? Tell us all, John.”

Sarah grabbed your wrist and tugged you closer to her and John B as Mr. Singh continued to yell down at you. You could make out the figure of a gun in his hand, no doubt pointed at you intentionally.

“What is the secret of the gnomon?” He asked again before noticing a movement from your dad. “Ah, ah, ah, ah. I wouldn’t do that if I were you, John. I have you surrounded. You’d do best to toss over your gun now!”

A sharp gasp escaped your mouth as various members of Singh’s men crowded you, more guns aimed to kill. John B’s hand wrapped around your other arm that Sarah wasn’t grasping, ready to make a move if you happened to find a chance.

“Ward was gonna send up a flare to warn us? Yeah, sure!”

Sarah ignored the tone from your dad. “Hey, what did you do with my father?” She yelled up towards Singh.

“I’m right here, Sarah! I’m okay!” Another flashlight moved over your vision with Ward’s voice. You didn’t even want to know how the crippled man made it this far in such a short time. 

“Dad, Dad. What did you do?” Sarah left your side to approach her parent. John B moved after her but was met with a gun following his motions. He froze and placed his hands up out of caution.

“I made a deal Sarah. I had to.”

“A deal?”

“Yes. I did a favor for Mr. Singh and in return, he’s gonna give me all I want.”

Sarah sneered at the answer. “You think this is a favor?”

“I want you safe!” He snapped back at her. “Isn’t that right, Mr. Singh?”

“Mr. Cameron is correct!” Singh added, “When we’re finished, you can go with your father. Safe and sound! And you too can live, you know, John, if you just give me what I want! The way to El Dorado!”

Rain was clouding your vision as every inch of you was drenched. Nothing more fitting for a shitty ending to your treasure-hunting career. 

“Sorry, Carlos. I can’t do it. And you ain’t gonna kill me, ‘cause I got the treasure. It’s right up here!” He pointed to his head.

You were furious. You knew before you even left OBX that if your dad was alive, he’d find a way to screw you over. Leave it to him to be selfish in the moment of life or death.

“John, John, John. You know what the Guajiro king did to the slaves that mined El Dorado, John? He had them executed. So they could never reveal the secret location, and he did it here, you know? On the Stone of Solana. I think it’s important, very important, that we honor tradition.”

“No!” You and Sarah yelled in unison as you watched your brother be yanked around by one of the armed men before another joined, two guns suddenly in his face. 

“What does it say?” Singh’s voice echoed around you as he shouted.

“Tell him, please,” John B’s plea was shaky as he tried to convince your dad to share any knowledge, even if it were false so you all could walk away from this. Singh’s guard, Fenton, pressed the gun against John B’s forehead.

When silence followed your brother’s request, your heart dropped to your stomach. Flipping around, you glared at your father with a look that would’ve sent him to a pile of ashes on the ground. “Dad! For once in your life, do the right thing!” You begged, your voice cracking with intensity. 

“Make your choice, John!”

You turned back around to face Sarah’s gaze, both of you absolutely terrified at the idea of being left out here, alone, without John B if something didn’t change. You guys needed to do something, anything. 

“John. Jesus, John. Tell him!” Ward Cameron himself was even in the attempt of saving your brother. Whether he did it for his own gain, you had no idea. 

Sarah gave you the tiniest nod, mouthing a countdown between the two of you. The moment she stopped, you both lunged forward to tackle the men threatening your brother. You collided with the dirt and scrambled away from the guard you had managed to knock unconscious by landing on a rock. Fenton, however, had recovered from Sarah’s attempt a little too quickly and refocused his weapon on her. 

You yelled as a gun went off and Sarah flinched back. There was no way, no way, she got shot again. Not here, not now.

“Sarah!” You scrambled towards her in concern but to your surprise, Fenton collapsed to the ground. Looking up, Ward Cameron had precise aim on the man who came after his daughter, ultimately ending his life. 

You grabbed Fenton’s gun before pulling Sarah off the ground as Ward and Singh started a firing match. John B took off after you with your dad bringing the end as he let off shots of his own. You didn’t know where you were running, just that you had to get away as far as you could. You ducked behind one of the cardinal pillars and pressed your body against the stone. Sarah was right next to you with John B on the other side. Your brother had gotten another gun from who knows where and was retaliating any time a bullet came a little too close.

“Sarah, come with me! Come over here!”

“No!” She yelled back at her dad who was within your eyesight. “I’m not coming with you!”

“I’m your father! I save your life, Sarah. Now come with me before you get killed!” Ward argued back. “We don’t have time for this, now come on!”

You yelped as a shot hit the stone right by you, ducking down on your knees so you weren’t as visible.

“John B, give me your gun.” Sarah was a little too serious as your brother looked at her. “Give me your gun.”

Your brother didn’t hesitate and slid the weapon into her hand before she gently pushed on your shoulder to switch your spots. You handed John B the gun in your possession so you could stop having to look at it. 

“Back up!” Your eyes widened as Sarah pointed the weapon in her hand directly toward her father. She sounded serious in her request and clearly, she meant business. 

Ward was unphased. “Put it down, Sarah. You’re not gonna shoot your own-” He was cut off as she pulled the trigger, sending a bullet just beyond Ward’s shoulder. 

A hand clamped down on the weapon, shaking you from your trance as you realized your dad had caught up to the three of you. You let out a breath as Ward ducked and ran from view. Big John had stopped Sarah short and turned to face her. “You’re one of us now, kid. Go, I’ll cover you.”

“As if she wasn’t this entire time,” You mumbled to yourself as you grabbed onto Sarah so John B could take the lead. A few shots rang out behind you as you guys tried to run out of range as fast as possible. 

“Dad, come on!” John B called over his shoulder as you spared a glance back to see your dad making his way towards you. The rain was finally starting to let up as you continued your trek through the wildlife. 

You’d lost all sense of time at this point. Running off of no sleep, barely any food, and whatever hell you just escaped back there, you knew your energy would run out soon. Sarah was tugging you along with a drive you’d never seen her with. John B and your dad were bringing up the rear. 

There was no questioning Sarah’s determination but you had a feeling she was running off adrenaline as she continued to follow Big John’s directions. With no way to tell what exactly you were looking for, this seemed kind of hopeless.

“I need a minute.” Shockingly, it was your dad who made the request and slowed down.

“Need a minute, what are you talking about?” John B quipped back as if it wasn’t the same man who barked at you all to hurry just hours ago. “Come on, let’s pick it up. Singh’s men probably aren’t that far behind us!”

“Go on, I’ll catch up. I just need a minute to catch my breath.”

You sighed, tugging Sarah’s hand slightly to make her stop even as you guys were rounding the steep hill you’d climbed. She glanced at you before making eye contact with John B behind you. Funny how the tables had turned so quickly. 

“I’m pissed,” Sara stated bluntly once she realized you were alone at the top. “What the hell was that back there?” She motioned in the direction you’d come from.

You shrugged and sat down. You didn’t even have words to say in regard to your dad’s actions. He would sit there and let his child get shot before giving up the idea of a treasure that may not even exist. “Sarah, I don’t even know.”

“I mean, he didn’t even try!” She argued as she started to pace slightly. “A gun, no, two guns to John B’s head and he just sits there like it didn’t matter! Who does that!”

“My dad,” You murmured, more so to yourself than anything. You were pissed over the whole event, but your dad would never open his eyes to see what he did to you and John B, what he put the two of you through for so long.

Sarah crouched to the ground to take a breather. A bird called in the air, the sound echoing around you.

“Come on, Dad.”

“Yeah, I’m coming. I’m coming.”

You looked over to see your two family members hauling themselves up the hill to where you and Sarah were. 

“Shh!” Sarah shushed their comments as she stood up. “Listen. Listen, listen.”

If you were still, you could pick up on an eerie whooshing noise from nearby. Nothing out here you could think of would make a noise like that, but it reminded you of when JJ would take empty beer bottles and blow across the top.

“I am nothing but hold everything. No tongue but always speaking.”

You ran a hand along your face and pulled yourself back to your feet as Sarah grabbed your hand again. Mind occupied with a million possibilities of JJ, you had no idea of where you guys were headed or what your dad had been talking about. 

You wondered what JJ was doing right now. You hoped he knew you were safe, but more than anything, you hoped he was okay. You were scared, even now, that something happened and he could be dead back in OBX. The thought of it made you nauseous. What if he hated you for getting on that plane without him? What if he needed help and you guys just abandoned him?

The one person you promised you’d go where he went, and you left him. You left him in the place he hated, which was filled with so many shitty memories. You did that. You did to him exactly what happened to you, left with no hope, no inclination of when anyone would come for you. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Look at me. Y/N, look at me.”

You blinked the blurriness away to see John B standing in front of you. The sun had disappeared and so did the warmth surrounding you. Rocks covered every surface and a large pool of water was inches from your feet. You stumbled back in shock but John B caught you before anything happened.

“You okay? What happened?”

“I just-” You gasped for air as a wave of dizziness rushed over you at the unfamiliarity of where you were. Sarah grabbed your other arm gently as you sank to the ground. She placed her hands in yours to hold on to so you didn’t curl in on yourself too tightly.

“It’s okay, we’re right here.” John B sat next to you, his fingers pulling your hair up off your neck with the hair tie he kept on his wrist for Sarah. “Just breathe.”

“What the hell are you guys doing? We gotta go!”

“Don’t focus on that,” Sarah was quick to replace the booming question with her voice. “Work on your breathing, okay? John B and I are gonna sit right here.”

You closed your eyes and tried to count your breathing like JJ would have you do. God, JJ. Back in Kildare wondering what the hell happened and-

Sarah realized you weren’t calming down and most likely dipped back into your thoughts. “Remember when you guys crashed Midsummers? God, that feels like forever ago. You looked so beautiful in your dress with Kiara, and I was so jealous that you guys got to run off and escape. Rose about poked my eye out six times.”

You laughed slightly at the memory, knowing damn well her step-mom about knocked you out with the ridiculous crown on her head. 

“JJ was so happy to see you. I remember he turned to face you and he just like, melted, at the sight of you. He was always looking for you. No matter what. You snuck that cocktail from his tray and he just let you without any question.”

“Pretty sure that was Rafe’s drink too. God, that does feel so long ago,” You recounted as you forced your eyes open again. Sarah squeezed your hands as you took in the cave you’d walked into while lost in your thoughts. You took another deep breath before looking at your brother and his girlfriend. “Thank you.”

“Seriously, we don’t have time for therapy sessions-!”

“Shut up, Dad! For once!” John B yelled back as he placed a hand on your shoulder and redirected your attention back to him. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

You shrugged and let go of Sarah’s hands. “I just started thinking about how JJ used to blow over the empty bottles and…do you think he feels like we abandoned him? I just left him back in OBX, I don’t even know if he’s okay, or-or if something happened.” 

“I’m sure JJ’s fine. If anything, he’s with Kiara and they just got caught up on their way to the airport. If Ward didn’t show up, I would’ve waited all day for them, okay?” John B explained, “As soon as we get this done, we’ll see if we can get ahold of him and find Cleo and Pope, okay? Promise.”

You nodded, whispering a soft thank you to both of them as they helped you to your feet again. You grabbed another water bottle from your backpack to sip on while you guys explored the cave. Sarah stayed near you just in case, using her own flashlight to shine on the water. 

“I think this goes deeper,” She theorized as she moved the light over fish swimming away. “The fish have to come from somewhere.”

“Only one way to find out.” John B shrugged off his backpack before wading into the water with his flashlight following the fish. “They look like they’re coming from over here. Wait. What is that?”

You tried to follow what he was pointing at but it didn’t help. “What do you see?”

John B didn’t answer the question. “Hey, Dad. Come check this out, Sarah found something!”

It was then you realized your dad was holding tightly to an injury on his side. No wonder he kept slowing down earlier. 

“There’s an opening,” John B explained once you all were able to see.

“That’s something. Wait, what’s that above it?” Big John caught a carving above the stone with his light. 

 John B moved his flashlight up to reveal a hand engraved into the rock. Just like the glyphs pointed to for you to follow. You and Sarah joined your brother in the water after setting your bags down. A bunch of smaller stones blocked the opening so you worked together to shift them out of the way. 

“If someone went through this much trouble, it’s gotta be the way,” Your dad said as he inspected the entry. 

“Let’s do this,” John B tightened the straps of his backpack as he prepared to go under. 

“I’ll never fit through that wormhole,” Your dad interrupted, “You two go.”

You glanced at Sarah and John B before looking back at your dad. “What are you talking about? We finally found what we think is El Dorado and you’re just gonna sit this one out? And what do you mean two?”

“Gotta take the training wheels off some time. And you’re staying with me. No need for you to freak out with them in there like you did and risk slowing everything down until Singh catches up.” You gaped at him as he started to back out of the water. 

“Dad-” John B spoke up in your defense but he was cut off.

“No arguing with me, boy! Your sister’s staying here, and that’s that. Before you go, listen. There was one last part of the message that I didn’t tell you. The true and present seeker needs not light to see,” He repeated, “Got it? The true and patient seeker needs not light to see. I’ve got these three flares. They’re waterproof. I doubt those flashlights will survive the swim. They’re twenty minutes each and you don’t wanna get stuck down there without them. You’ll never find your way out, alright? Go.”

Sarah tugged at your arm, motioning for you to go forward. The second you took a step, your dad was on your ass. “Y/N. Out. Now!”

You closed your eyes and bit down on your tongue when you realized he wasn’t going to let this go. “Dad, please, I just-”

“Get out now before I come in there and drag you out myself. Let them go.”

You looked at John B, suddenly terrified at the idea of being left in this cave with your dad. He was staring right back at you, ready to fight your father if you needed him. Reaching out, you grabbed your brother’s hand. You gave him the most reassuring nod you could. “It’s okay. Just promise me you’ll come back? Please.”

“We will,” Sarah spoke up as she brought you in for a tight hug. 

John B echoed her words and embraced you as well. “I promise, we’ll be back.”

You nodded as you stepped away from them to give them space. “That’s the only promise you better keep out of all the ones you’ve made, Booker. You hear me?”

John B took one last look over at you before nodding. He and Sarah gave a quick countdown before sinking under the water and swimming out of view. You stood there for a few moments and watched as if they would come right back. 

“Come over here, kid. They’ll be fine.”

Your hands clenched into fists at your father’s voice. If there was anyone you’d stay back for, he wasn’t even a name on the list. “Is there a reason you live to make my life miserable?” You laughed as you turned back to face him and walked out from the water. “I mean, it’s all you’ve ever done.”

“God, you’re so much like your mother, you know that?”

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” You shot back as you stood on the grainy sand away from the water. “Hmm? Maybe she had the right idea to walk away from all of this.”

Big John glared at you from the spot where he was standing. “I raised you to be the person you are and you think I’m making you miserable?”

“No, you didn’t!” You screamed back at him. “You didn’t raise me, I raised myself, Dad. John B and I figured our shit out because you were too busy wrapped up in hunting treasure instead of being there for your kids!”

Your heart hurt from the reality of your father leaving you to fend for yourself for so long. You were a scared little kid and he was too focused on John B and finding the treasure as long as you could remember. 

“You pushed me away for as long as I could remember, always picking John B and leaving me behind. I did everything. I cooked, I cleaned, I fixed the Twinkie when you’d forget to, and I made sure bills were paid. All while you wasted away in that damn office trying to find something that would save us when you could’ve been doing it yourself!” You took a few steps towards him, finally letting out emotions you’d held in for so long. “Everything you ever did was for yourself. And now you won’t let me go with my own brother, because of your selfish, shitty tendencies to-”

A gasp left your mouth as a sharp smack landed on your cheek. You blinked instant tears from the blind pain. You stared back at your furious father, defeat creeping over you as you realized what he’d done. 

Your lips trembled as you stepped away from him. Never once did you ever expect that he would put his hands on you.

“Y/N-”

“I hate you!” You snapped as you continued to back up and put distance between the two of you. “After all we did for you…”

“I know you’re bleeding, Mr. Routledge! I know I hit you, and I’m gonna find you, you know.” 

You whipped around at the way Singh’s voice echoed around the cave. Your dad was quick to stumble away into hiding which was no surprise to you. You shook your head, wishing more than anything that you’d snuck in with John B and Sarah when you had a chance.

“Mr. Routledge!”

Singh was much closer now. You quickly ran into one of the many dips and bends in the cave and tucked yourself out of sight. John B still had the gun you’d given him and your dad no doubt had the other two for his selfish ass. 

“John! I know you’re here somewhere.”

One misstep and you’d lose your balance from behind the rock. This was more than just hide and seek as kids. Mr. Singh wouldn’t hesitate to kill you once he saw you, especially after everything you’d done at his home with Rafe. 

“There’s only one way out of here, John! You can’t hide much longer from me, you know?”

Singh was very much way too close for comfort. A mere couple of feet from where you were hiding for sure. Your dad wouldn’t give himself up either, you knew that to be true. 

A splash of water caught your attention as you looked over to see John B and Sarah emerge from the opening with a red flare in hand. 

“Easy now, young Routledge! Easy!” Singh quickly caught sight of them as soon as you did. “Go for a little swim now, did you? Step out of the water and put your hands up, both of you. Now! Put your hands up.

You could see John B and Sarah walk out slowly until they were out of your view. Cursing silently, you knew this wasn’t going to end very well.

“Drop the flare. Drop it! Looks like you’re carrying a load there, young Routledge. You want to tell me aout it? What is in the bag? Show me what’s in the bag.”

There was an audible click, no doubt coming from the weapon Singh most certainly had. 

“Okay, okay,” John B replied. “Keep it right here. You want it, there you go.”

Silence passed for a moment before Singh started chuckling. “So you found El Dorado at last. I know I was right to keep you alive, you know!” He raised his voice on the second part. “But unfortunately, for your daughter, the celebration will be short-lived.”

A bullet connected with the rock near your arm in a split second. You screamed and lost your balance, tumbling into the sand off to your right and revealing yourself from your hiding spot.

“Y/N!” John B’s voice echoed around you as he watched the scene unravel. 

Singh was in front of you in mere seconds before you even had a chance to process what the hell happened. He grabbed your hair roughly and forced you to your feet as you groaned. The barrel of his gun was pressed harshly against your chest. 

“I knew I should’ve killed you at the house when I had the chance, Miss Routledge. That Cameron boy sure did have an influence over you, you know? Convincing you to escape when I was so kind to you for your help.” Despite his cruelty, he was smiling at you like he wasn’t mere centimeters from ending your life. “You have three seconds to come out before I start firing!”

A harsh realization settled in fast that you were going to die. Your dad clearly didn’t care about you, and if he was so hesitant about saving John B, he wouldn’t blink an eye before letting you take the hit. 

“One.”

“Dad!” Your brother yelled out in an attempt to call your dad from his hiding spot to no avail. “Let her go!”

The gun cocked in your face. “Two.”

“Leave her alone, please. Please! Mr. Singh, please!” John B moved to run to you, but Singh caught the movement and tugged on your hair that was still in his grip, the gun pushing harder against you in a warning. Sarah was quick to grab your brother’s shirt and tug him back.

“Don’t let me get to three, John!”

You took the spare second to meet John B’s eyes, refusing to let Carlos Singh be the last thing you saw. “Tell JJ I’m sorry.”

“John!”

“I’m here, Singh! Over here.”

You almost collapsed into the sand at the sound of your dad’s voice. The weapon moved from your chest to where your father was standing with a sparking stick of dynamite in his hand. “You kill us, I make sure this thing blows. That roof won’t hold and you’ll never see El Dorado. Drop your gun. Drop the gun!”

Your hands shook as the cool metal connected with your skin again. Moving your eyes to the ceiling, you refused to watch them argue over your life.

“No, if my daughter dies, we all die.”

“See, the problem is, I don’t believe you, John,” Singh countered, “I don’t believe that you would blow up your opportunity to see El Dorado, even to save your own daughter and even your own daughter knows that, you know. You’ve proven it time and time again, John, you know that. This, John, is the greatest quest. This is what we’ve been looking for our whole lives. So put that thing out and join me.”

You looked over at your father as he hesitated with the explosive in his hand. “No, I can’t.” Big John’s gaze met yours. “This is for you, kid.” 

The dynamite went flying through the air until it bounced on the stone where Sarah and John B had crawled through before stopping. Singh’s grasp on you disappeared as he went running toward it in desperation.

“Run!”

You didn’t waste a second and took off toward the opening of the cave. You could hear Sarah and John B yelling behind you, their voices pushing you to keep running as long as they were behind you. 

“Dad!” John B passed the gold off to Sarah as your dad struggled to make it through the terrain. You cursed and turned around to go back, encouraging Sarah forward so you could wrap Big John’s other arm around your shoulders. Singh’s yell bounced off the walls before you were thrown out of the cave in a mess of dust and debris. 

You coughed aggressively and rolled onto your back as you tried to clear your airways of dirt. John B practically lifed you off the ground so you could get back up as if you didn’t just get thrown 50 feet or so from an explosion. 

“We gotta go!” The three of you worked together to get your dad back on his feet. “Dad, come on. Come on.”

“Anybody could’ve heard that blast,” He replied as you finally got him balanced. You continued to push through the path you’d used to come here, coughing continuously as the dust finally started to settle. Your dad groaned from behind you. “I think I got pretty banged up back there, kids. I gotta, I gotta sit.”

Sarah let the large bag fall off her shoulders with a thud. The contents inside rolled and clanked against each other. 

“Is that what I think it is?” Your dad stared at the bag with literal heart eyes as he sat down on a larger boulder. 

John B smirked and nodded. “Oh yeah.”

“Big John, it’s beautiful,” Sarah explained as she unzipped the bag. She pulled out the largest rock of gold you’d ever seen.

Your knees hit the ground next to her. You could see gold pieces of all different sizes inside, the entire bag packed full of the glowing treasure. “Holy shit!”

“We found it, just like you said. Sarah figured out the riddle. The walking in the dark.”

“That a girl. Thank you, Sarah.” Your dad smiled at her for the first time since they’d met. The blonde girl next to you flushed as she let out a small chuckle. 

“So sweet, you know?” Like the plague, Ward Cameron was back again with a gun aimed directly at your group. “One big happy family, huh?”

Sarah shook her head. “Dad, what are you doing?”

“I’m too tired to hold my hands up, Ward. So if you’re not good with that, you can just shoot me,” Your dad huffed as he stared at the man in front of you. 

Ward smiled as if that was his plan all along. “Watch what you wish for, my old friend. We might come to that.”

“Put the gun down.”

“Shut up, Sarah.”

You shifted to stand next to John B, both of you keeping your dad from becoming an open target. Though it wasn’t ideal in your mind, you felt the need to.

“You have it all, don’t you, John? Now you get everything, huh?” He hobbled towards you to take the chunk of gold from Sarah’s hands. “Thank you, sweetheart. You get to go home, back to Kildare. Live happily ever after. With your children, that love you. And my daughter, who hates me. I’m sorry, John. I don’t think I can allow that. You’re supposed to be dead. I think I liked you better that way.”

The gun cocked in his hand, aiming way too close for comfort. Your throat threatened to close in on your as you tried to prepare yourself to watch someone die in front of you.

The tension was broken by various screams and an abrupt movement from your left. To your shock, JJ fucking Maybank came running from behind a set of trees with a machete in his hands and blocked Ward in. Cleo and Pope were suddenly filling in gaps, Kie right along with them as they held their weapons high and yelled at the man in front of you to drop his gun.

“Stand back!”

“Put it down, Ward! Down!”

“Come on!” JJ shouted, a daring look in his eyes as he held the machete ready to strike. “You’re outnumbered, Ward.”

The gun moved to land on Pope. “What are you gonna do, shoot us all?”

“If you gotta shoot somebody, Ward, shoot me,” Your dad called out. 

In the midst of chaos, you didn’t see John B move forward completely, placing himself the direct target of Ward’s weapon. “Or me.”

You moved forward slowly, refusing to let Ward Cameron take your brother away from you, not that any of your friends would let that happen in the slightest.

The idea seemed to set Ward off as he began to get shaky, especially when Sarah moved to stand in front of your brother. “Stop. Enough. You’re not going to kill all of us. I know you won’t. I know you. You forget that I know you.”

Ward let out a shaky exhale, holding back a sob as he let his daughter grab the gun against her chest until she lowered it to the ground. Her father shook his head back and forth. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it,” He cried as he placed a hand on her cheek. 

“Yeah? Well, I can.”

John B spun around quickly and aimed a gun at Singh’s last remaining man, Ryan, who was ready to shoot back at a moment’s notice. He moved his aim to your father who was still seated on the rock. “Toss it!”

“Take it easy, bud,” Your father’s voice was so quiet as he spoke to your brother before turning back to Ryan. “Your boss is dead. You got no reason to do this.”

“I can think of a few reasons. Toss it!” 

John B did what he asked and dropped the gun to the ground. Ryan hopped off the rock your dad was resting on to approach all of you. He bent down to grab the discarded weapon as someone grabbed your shirt and pulled you further back. 

Ryan resettled his gaze on Sarah. “Thought you’d end up with the gold, eh? Alright. Nobody moves. My mate back there is dead because of you. You go first.”

Everything moved in slow motion. You could see it in John B’s eyes that he was getting ready to jump in front of the attack before someone beat him to it. You winced at the loud noise coming from so close as Ward moved forward and took two bullets to the chest. You bit back a scream, watching as his momentum carried him further into Ryan, both of them colliding and falling over the large cliff behind. 

Eyes refusing to move from the spot they disappeared, everyone around you fell silent. John B whispered Sarah’s name and followed her to the edge of the cliff where you glanced down to see the two figures lying still at the bottom. 

A sharp breath made its way into your lungs as you turned away straight into someone’s chest. JJ was lingering behind you, ready to grab you the moment he could. You fell into him and held on as tightly as possible. Instant relief rushed through you at the familiar comfort that came with his presence. You had so many questions but they all needed to wait until you guys got the hell out of here.

“Hey, Big John? Big John?” Pope’s concerned tone took everyone’s attention as you turned to face him. His fingers moved to your father’s neck. “John B! Y/N!” 

You shifted against JJ’s chest to look over at Pope as he hauled your almost-unconscious dad to his feet. John B took his other shoulder, both of them started the trek downhill so you could get the hell out of here. You moved from your boyfriend’s grasp to be with Sarah. 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, it’s gonna be fine. Come here.” You pulled her into your arms as she sobbed against you. You kept as much of a hold on her as you could as you guys shuffled down the hill.

“Y/N, what the fuck?”

You paused at JJ’s panicked tone to see him, Cleo, and Kie staring back at you with wide eyes. You knew immediately what they were looking at. You could feel the blood seeping down your leg and the radiating pain, but you weren’t stopping now. You kept your eyes on your boyfriend and shook your head. “I know. I love you but shut up and keep walking.”

“No. No, no. You’re bleeding! Come here.” 

Kiara and Cleo grabbed Sarah from your arms and walked down the hill with her as JJ ran to you. “Are you crazy? I leave you for two days and this is was you get up to.” He was careful as he eased you to the ground.

In your defense, a bullet wound to the thigh seemed like a walk in the park compared to the emotional trauma you’d carry with you forever over your adventure. JJ pulled his shirt off and ripped it into smaller strips. You tugged your own off to ball it up and press against the heavy bleeding.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” JJ’s voice was calming as you let out a deep groan of pain. He took your ruined shirt from your grasp and pushed down harder in an attempt to stop the blood flow. There was no time to wonder how far the bullet went or what was damaged, but your adrenaline was holding strong. 

Digging through your backpack, your boyfriend pulled out your final bottle of water. He was careful as he poured it over your injury, wincing when you cried out. This was his worst nightmare, to see you in pain like this. JJ wrapped your t-shirt around the wound before tying it tightly with the torn pieces of his own.

You let out a broken laugh as you watched the intensity in his face fade to worry. “God, you have no idea how glad I am to see you.” Your hands were shaky as you placed them on his cheeks. “I missed you.”

JJ responded by kissing you deeply, his hands wandering to your waist where they squeezed lovingly. He was so warm, so gentle and calm, so home to you that you could cry. Your moment of peace didn’t last as long as you would’ve liked, but you needed to get moving. 

“Can you stand?” JJ watched you nod and helped pull you up to your feet before crouching before you.

“What are you doing?” You laughed at his antics, unsure of what exactly he was doing. Your hand was hovering on his back for support knowing damn well you were gonna hit the floor at any second now. 

“Climb on.” He motioned toward his shoulders with a reassuring clap. “Let’s go, babe. Imma carry you.”

You were quick to protest, knowing how much of a hike it was going to be. “No, you’re not. It’s a haul back to-”

“Y/N, get on before I throw you over my shoulders.”

You grumbled complaints but did as he asked. He was careful about where he grabbed your legs but held on tightly as you wrapped yourself around his back. A small smile formed on your face, still in disbelief that he’d actually followed you to South America. 

As if he were reading your mind, he leaned into your arms that were resting against his neck. “I told you, baby. Where you go, I go.”

--

You guys caught up with the Pogues faster than you would’ve thought. John B and Pope still had your dad held between the two of them. Kiara had taken the bag of gold onto her back while Cleo and Sarah led the group. You wondered where the hell you’d go now. 

The dock was somehow much closer than you thought it would be. Kiara and Cleo were waiting with open arms to help you off JJ’s back so your boyfriend could work with John B and Pope to get your dad into the panga boat that the rest of the Pogues had taken to get here.

Nobody really talked as the boat weaved through the water. Cleo and Pope remained in the back to steer the panga, whispering quietly amongst themselves. John B held your father’s head in his lap, you to his side to hold your dad’s hand in your own. JJ was behind you, his fingers lightly moving over the bare skin on your leg. Kiara had pulled an extra shirt from her bag and handed it to you with no hesitation. 

You tried not to focus because that made it real. It made the pain in your leg real, and it made the fact that your dad was inches from death real. Your brother had taken one look at your leg and met your eyes for you to shake your head slightly. It was nothing to worry about for now.

“Hey, hey, hey. Pop. Hang in there, okay?” John B spoke quietly as your dad groaned. 

“We did it together, kids.” Your dad’s voice was hoarse, his eyes still closed as he talked. “Just like we always talked about.”

“Yeah, Dad. We did.” You sniffled and looked away for a moment so you could stop the inevitable breakdown of tears.  

“Sarah, Sarah.”

“Hi.” The girl in front of you reached out to hold your dad’s other hand as he called for her. 

“Bird, you gotta hang on to this one.” His eyes moved from John B to flicker back to you, more so the boy behind you. “JJ, I know you’ll take care of my girl.”

JJ placed his hand atop yours that was resting on your father’s. “With my life, Big John.”

“I know that I wasn’t any great shakes as a father. But you two… you were the best kids any man could hope for. I want you to know that.”

John B tried to speak around his tears. “You can tell us when we get home, okay? Almost there.” He pulled a smaller piece of gold from the bag to place it into your dad’s grasp. “You did it, Dad.”

“I’ll see you… I’ll see you at home, kids.” His eyes fluttered shut a moment later as bells chimed around you. JJ pulled you against his chest as the first tears started to fall.

“I’m okay,” You brushed the flakes of water away as you tried holding them back. It felt like a tug on your heart, to watch the man who you was your father become almost a stranger to you, but you felt the pain of losing him nonetheless. 

JJ’s lips were warm on your forehead as he wrapped his arms around you tightly to tuck you in close. “No, baby. You’re not. You’re not okay. But I’m right here, I promise.”

JJ didn’t falter a bit. He never did when it came to you. There was no doubt in his mind when it involved you, even as he worried about you going to different continents, countries, states, and cities without him. He’d always be yours and you’d always be his, no matter what.

So, JJ stayed there by your side as you buried your father in the land of his treasure. He held you in his lap the entire plane ride home. Kept a tight grip on your hand as you received stitches in your leg for a scar you’d live with for the rest of your life. He sat with you through every therapy session, every breakdown and struggle, every success and achievement. He stayed, and never faltered because that’s what he promised you he’d do.

It felt like you didn’t deserve him. After all the love he’d given you and continued to give you, JJ still remained the light of your life with everything he did. You were by his side as he paid off the restitution he owed, and bought the bike of his dreams with a surfboard right in tow. He bought his charter boat and repaid the debts that were owed so he could just be JJ, pure-hearted JJ by your side.

The next eighteen months weren’t easy for any of you. There was a lot of grief, and a lot of stress on what to do next. There were seven of you with more money than you could account for in the Outer Banks. Every moment was better than the next as you were learning and growing, but you were doing it with each other. And there was nothing, no better feeling than that.

You were on stage at town hall, the new outfit JJ had picked out for you covering your frame as you sat between him and Sarah. It was an odd feeling to be recognized for a journey that had shifted so much of your life negatively before you found something positive out of it. 

“An expedition of one man, John Routledge, and a group of teenagers who are with us today. Locals, who grew up here and who succeeded where centuries of conquistadors, explorers, and admirals failed. Today, we come together to celebrate these teens, friends from both sides of the island who came together to solve this 500-year-old mystery. Let’s hear it for them!”

You reached for JJ’s hand as you got to your feet, all of you standing up on the white-painted wood. The crowd in front of you cheered, with Mr. and Mrs. Heyward in the front row wearing the biggest smiles. People you’d known your whole life clapping for you and your friends. Your family. 

The ceremony wrapped up shortly after, sparing you all of the heightened attention. All of you were quick to scatter from the stage to find some quiet.

“I need to, I need a reset. This is a lot,” JJ spoke loud enough that your group could hear him as he pulled a perfectly rolled joint out of the pocket of his leather jacket. “It’s time to celebrate.”

“I’ll take one hit. One.”

Cleo laughed at Pope’s agreement. “Bad man now.”

You shook your head at their nonsense and followed over to the group of tables that were reserved for all of you. JJ lit his joint once you were all out of prying eyes, taking a deep first hit before holding it up to your lips for you to inhale. Jokes fell fluidly between all of you as the joint was moved around between you, Kie, JJ, and even Pope.

“Whatcha thinking about?” JJ leaned closer before passing the joint to Kiara, putting all his attention fully on you. You glanced away from where you were watching your brother and Sarah talk just across the way to look at him.

Your relationship with JJ was already everything it ever needed to be, but the last few months had really solidified you in. You’d gone on your vacation that you always talked about and the small JM inked into your wrist was plenty of memory for that. If you paid attention, you could see your own initials in the same spot poking out from under his jacket sleeve.

“You know, one of the last things I said to my dad was that I hated him,” You began as you leaned against the cocktail table in front of you. “I don’t regret that. It was hard to have everything happen the way he did, but for some reason… this all seems completely normal, without him. It’s probably shitty of me to say that, but it’s the truth.”

JJ gently pushed his hand under yours that was lying on the table so he could hold it. “Y/N, I know he wasn’t the best to you, but you’re still allowed to grieve the version of him that you held onto in the beginning.”

“Then why does it feel so wrong?” You whispered as you made eye contact with him. “Everyone keeps telling me how sorry they are that he’s gone but being here with you guys like we were for that time, that’s exactly what I’ve wanted. I feel like such a shitty daughter that I don’t miss him.”

“There’s nothing wrong with not missing your dad,” JJ reassured as he placed a kiss on the back of your hand. “You had to deal with a lot of tough shit without him, so you learned what it was like to live without him. That’s no different than what you’re doing now. Nobody said losing him was gonna be the same for you as it was for John B.”

You nodded in understanding but still felt this linger of guilt that you didn’t miss your dad. JJ was right though, part of you missed the version of him that was here before your mom left more than anything. He tried for a while after she was gone too, but everything slipped away as time went by, and you grew up missing the dad you never had.

“Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt.”

You turned at a new voice, your conversation with JJ instantly dying in the meantime. An older man was approaching John B and Sarah, dressed to the nines in his suit and tie. You and JJ shuffled over to stand closer.

“Uh, can we help you?” Pope asked as he broke off his conversation with Kiara and Cleo. Kie was quick to dunk the remainder of the smoky object into a nearby cup of water, but you were sure the smell lingered around you all. 

“Yes. I wanted to tell you all it’s remarkable what you all did. Royal Merchant, El Dorado. Denmark Tanny. Impressive resume, impressive. I was wondering if you would all be so kind as to look at an item of mine,” He explained as he placed a briefcase onto the table you were surrounding.

“Oh yeah? What type of item is that?” Cleo asked.

“It’s a manuscript,” The man replied as he began to pull it out. “I would investigate it myself, but I’m too long in the tooth. I need partners, and you all were first on my list”

Pope reached out toward the book he was holding. “May I?”

“I was hoping you would.”

You looked over Pope’s shoulder to see as best as you could. “1718, geez this is old. Exhibition notes, dates.”

“This is a captain’s log. This show’s the exact position of the ship,” John B spoke up as he watched Pope flip through the bound pages. 

“The exact location where the ship sailed and where it stopped,” The older man confirmed.

“Who is the captain?” JJ asked from behind you as he continued to observe from over your shoulder. 

A brief pause followed the question as you all looked to the man in front of you for the answer. “Edward Teach. Blackbeard.”

The excitement was instantaneous between John B and JJ as everyone shared a look. You knew where their heads were going right away as the rest of the group broke out into smiles. 

JJ turned to you to see your expression. You’d talked a lot about how you needed time away from the busy, risky lifestyle. Nobody said you had to pack your bags right now and walk away without a chance to comprehend or think about it. 

You were already looking at him, knowing right away that he’d look to you for confirmation on what to do. “I go where you go?” You asked and held out your pinky towards him as a smile formed on your face. 

JJ didn’t hesitate to lock his pinky with yours. “I go where you go baby, always.”

--

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im so sad it's over but also this was so good i love them <3

THE DEAL — chapter seven

a/n: i know i was supposed to post this ages ago but i just finished it (even though a part of me didn’t want to :( ). this is the last chapter and i really hope that you guys liked it! thank you for all the love on this series, i had so much fun writing it. i may or may not already be writing an epilogue so let me know if you would be interested in that👀 i love you MWAH <33

warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, 18+, mentions of sex (if you squint), injuries, angst, hospital, fighting, blood and lots of fluff

word count: 5.8k

pairing: frat!rafe x innocent friend!reader

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The sound of the ambulance siren filled your ears and matched the thrumming of your pulse as you attempted to keep your tears at bay — unsuccessfully. Everything around you seemed heightened and you only wished to be in his arms, to be held and taken care of like only Rafe knew how.

Your arm hurt badly, you couldn’t move it, and whenever you tried to, the pain was blinding and froze every muscle in your body, which was sore and still in shock. You couldn’t believe what he had done and the more you thought about it, the more tears spilled from your eyes.

Unbeknownst to you, the last words that you had said into your phone’s microphone, kept replaying in the receiver’s head like a mantra as he hoped he had heard you wrong.

“They’re taking me to the hospital, Rafe.”

“They’re taking me to the hospital, Rafe.”

“They’re taking me to the hospital.”

Hospital.

A shudder had ran down his spine at those words while the worst scenarios began to fill his mind. The thought of you being in pain was enough for his body to start working on its own, taking him to his vehicle as he pressed his phone to his ear to calm himself only by listening to the sound of your breaths.

“I’ll be there in two minutes, baby, okay?” He was finally able to say as he sat down, “I’m in the car. Can you wait for me?”

His voice was laced with that sweet tone of his that normally would’ve made your knees feel weak, but you needed his touch, so much that even his reassuring words weren’t enough. “Yes, just —“ You took a shaky breath, “I’m sorry…for what I did, what I said-“

“Ssh,” he shushed you softly, interrupting your apology, “none of that right now, baby, alright?”

He had to be strong for you, had to see clear and drive as fast as he could’ve to the hospital because if he didn’t have you in his arms in the next ten minutes, he would’ve needed an ambulance himself. The car was already in motion when he heard you whisper into the phone, “I’m scared.”

His stomach dropped for the third time that day and at that point, he considered himself lucky if he hadn’t had a heart attack yet. He would’ve given up every single penny in the world to hold you. “I know, I know, angel. I’m coming. Hang on for me.”

Your heart seemed to calm down at his words, and the nickname, almost as if you knew you were safe only by listening to him. “I have to hang up. They said I - I have to put my phone away now.” Gnawing on your split bottom lip, you grimaced at the taste of blood and that unsettling feeling came back to haunt you. “Rafe, I’m so scared.”

Pushing his foot on the gas pedal harder, Rafe gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white. “Two minutes and I’m there, baby. You can hang up, you’re gonna see me soon, okay?”

You nodded weakly, then you remembered that he couldn’t see you and whispered, “Okay…bye.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

You were talking, you were breathing and were being rational. You were okay. That was what he kept telling himself as he drove into the night. However, the actual only thought in his mind was that he was close to commit murder and was so ready for it that it was scary. If Matthew had laid one single finger on you, Rafe wasn’t going to hold himself back.

Stopping the car in front of the emergency room, he all but jumped outside of the vehicle and ran inside at the same time as a barrel was being wheeled in. Distinct voices were talking over each other, but he couldn’t make out the words as his eyes fell on your figure. Without thinking twice, he began to speed walk alongside the paramedics.

“Sir, you can’t —“

“Rafe?” Your soft voice woke him up from the trance that seeing you lying on a barrel had put him in.

“I’m right here, baby, I’m here.” He whispered, finally being able to cradle your face in his hands.

He placed his forehead on yours as you cried in his hands and he did everything in his power to hold his tears back. He didn’t want to give you any reason to feel more terrified, so he only let you sob while his thumbs tried to brush away the never ending tears. “It’s okay,” he murmured, “You’re okay, sweetheart.” With one hand, he ran his fingers through your hair, brushing it out of your face.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder, trying to pull him away. “Sir, you can’t be here.” The doctor at his side attempted at telling him for the umpteenth time and she was more than close to call the security and have Rafe escorted out. “We need to bring her in for examination and X-Rays.”

Reluctantly, he turned his head to nod at the woman and then came back to you. Oh, but how could he have ever been able to leave you when you looked up at him like that.

“Don’t leave me, please.” You whimpered, his heart breaking at the knowledge that he had to do it for your own good.

“I’ll be right outside, okay? I’m not leaving you. I’ll stay here all night if it comes to it.”

He kissed your forehead, then the tip of your nose, and although his lips ached to touch yours, he still wasn’t sure where you stood and what was happening, therefore, with every bit of strength he had left, he raised and let the doctors do their job. As he watched you being taken away from him and through the white doors that weren’t accessible to him, he made one promise to himself and he intended on keeping it: to never let you go again. He had been stupid enough to do it once and he would’ve been a fool to let that happen a second time.

His hands ran continuously on his head as he paced back and forth in the waiting room of the hospital. He seemed to be unable to find peace, his nervous state was making him want to scream and break something, anything, and the more it looked like Matthew Taylor, the better. He tried to sit down, his head between his palms as he stared at the ground, but it only made his leg bounce up and down constantly and obsessively until the man beside him sent him a glare, and he had to get up again.

“Y/N L/N?” The doctor asked as she exited a room and the sound of your name made his pulse quicken.

He all but ran to the woman wearing the white coat, and he began to ask questions, erratically. “I’m here for her! How is she? What happened? Is everything okay?”

“I’m sorry, sir, are you family?”

He was stunned. What the hell was he supposed to say? “I — “ He sighed and hoped to God that she was going to be merciful, “I’m not, but please, I need to see her.”

The desperation in his voice was obvious and she couldn’t help but remember the moment she had seen him take your face in his hands and care for you, so she took a deep breath and nodded. “She’s really lucky with the dynamics of the incident. However, the exams showed a fractured wrist and a sprained ankle. She presents superficial wounds, but nothing serious and that painkillers won’t help. She seems to have a minor concussion but we’re not too worried about it. We could keep her here for observation tonight, however, I personally think that it’s not necessary, so we’ll leave the decision up to her.”

Rafe tried to wrap his head around the injuries, having completely tuned out the doctor. Lucky. How the hell was that lucky?!

“Breaking her wrist doesn’t seem very lucky…” He muttered, almost to himself, still deep in his thoughts.

The doctor cocked an eyebrow, “From what she’s told me about the incident, it could’ve been much worse.”

Was anyone going to tell him what the hell had happened to you or did he have to punch it out of your ex boyfriend?

“Thank you, doctor. Can I see her?” He finally asked.

She smiled politely, “You can, but don’t let too much light into the room and keep her calm, okay?”

“Of course.”

“She’s in room 305.” She said as she looked down at a clipboard in her hand.

He thanked her again while his feet were already taking him to the room you were resting in. The door was closed and the lights were off as he slowly walked in, trying not to make any loud sound.

Your eyes opened and immediately fell on the person that was entering the room, causing a smile to take over your features at the sight of Rafe.

“Hey, angel.” He whispered, striding until he stood in front of your bed. His eyes stung as he watched the cast on your arm and the elastic bandage around your elevated ankle. He diverted his eyes from your injuries and focused his attention on your face, which resulted in deepening his anger as his eyes scanned over the cut on your cheek and forehead, your split lip and the forming bruise under your eye. His fist closed on its own, his nails biting into his palm, before he finally decided to rest his hand on your cheek. “How’s my girl feeling?”

You leaned into his touch, “I feel sore everywhere.” You croaked.

Rubbing his thumb on your cheek, “I know, angel, I know,” he rasped, “how can I help you?”

You closed your eyes and rested your head further into his hand, appreciating the warmth of his touch. “Can you hold me?”

You didn’t need to tell him twice. He sat next to you and threw an arm on the pillow your head was resting on as he softly said, “C’mere.” Finally, you melted into him, letting him take you into his arms and kiss your temple. “How you feeling now?” He asked with his lips still pressed to your head.

You sighed happily, “Much better.”

“Good.” He smiled in relief.

“I’m sorry for calling you. You probably didn’t want to see me, I shouldn’t -“

“Hey, hey,” he interrupted you immediately, “I’m here. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, alright?”

You nodded and tried to hide your face in his neck, your new favorite place in the world. “Thank you, Rafe”

“Of course, sweetheart.” He sneaked his arm under your back, bringing you even closer to him, and began to rub your hip with his thumb. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

Shaking your head ‘no’, you nuzzled your head further into him, “‘m tired, just wanna sleep.”

He kissed your head once again, his lips restless from touching your skin whenever it was possible. “Let me take you home, mh?” He mumbled, “We can go back to my dorm, you can sleep there, if you want.”

“Will you stay with me?” You spoke softly against his skin.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

As Rafe called your doctor, helped you sign the papers in order to dismiss you and carefully listened to the nurse about what you were supposed to do and whatnot, you couldn’t believe that you had ever doubt the fact that he wasn’t boyfriend material. You were in awe of him and were so grateful that you had decided to leave your fears behind to choose him. You would’ve chosen him any day.

Once the nurse had wheeled you outside the hospital and towards Rafe’s car, he reminded both you and him to not put any weight on your ankle. The blue eyed man nodded and wordlessly unlocked the car doors. Then, he bent down to sneak one arm beneath your knees and the other around your waist, picking you up bridal style as you let out a surprised gasp. Your arms instinctively flew around his neck, one hand holding his shirt for dear life while your head relaxed against his shoulder. When he placed you in the passenger seat, you were reluctant to let go of him, and the medications that the doctor had given to you for your pain were making you feel so sleepy that you didn’t realize you were whining for him to not leave you.

Finally, he kissed your temple. “I’m right here, baby. Let’s go home.” He reassured you. His hand reached out for the seatbelt and buckled you in, making sure that you were safe before he carefully closed the car door. Thanking the nurse, he waved at him and quickly stepped into the driver’s seat. Your eyes were fixed on him, watching his every move as he sighed and threw his head against the headrest.

“You okay?” You whispered, turning your head towards him.

Sweet, droopy eyes were looking at him and he couldn’t help himself from raising his arm and tucked your hair behind your ear, before leaving his hand on your cheek. “That’s not important right now.” He rasped, not wanting to lie to you.

With your good hand, you placed your palm on top of his fingers, stroking his skin and placing a kiss on the heel of his hand. “You’re always important.”

Rafe could feel his heart beating fast in his chest as he leaned in and gently pulled your head closer. Your noses brushed and your tired eyelids closed down. The butterflies in your stomach replaced your previous fear and anxiety, while your breathing began to get heavier in anticipation. Finally, his lips touched yours, tenderly moving against yours as you kissed him with the same amount of need. The more heated and passionate the moment turned into, the more he tried to get closer to you, until his hand was on your waist and the other was holding himself up, while your fingernails scratched his scalp and itched to touch him under his shirt. His hold on you was delicate and yet possessive, showing you that you were his and he intended to keep it that way. Your fingers lightly caressed down his jaw, then his neck, causing him to groan in your mouth at the sensation. As he pulled away and rested his forehead on yours, the sound of your breaths was the only one that filled the silence. Your gazes met and your eyes said more words than your mouth had ever had the guts to. So, instead of saying anything, you maintained eye contact as you reached for the hand that was resting on your hip, felt his fingers beneath your touch before you found what you were looking for. Silently, you slipped the ring off his finger and put it on your own, then placed your palm on his neck and pulled him closer for a short kiss.

“Rafe?” You mumbled against his lips.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

His hand came up to brush some hairs out of your face, “For what, baby?”

“For taking care of me.”

Placing a kiss on your forehead, he murmured “I’ll always take care of you.”

Unwillingly, he sat back in his seat and started the car. Once he had gotten out of his parking spot, the hand that wasn’t on the wheel automatically fell on your thigh, mindlessly rubbing it with his thumb as he drove home. The soothing feeling, along with the painkillers, lulled you to sleep, the ghost of a peaceful smile playing on your lips. When his eyes caught your sleeping figure, the corners of his mouth lifted up and the sparkle in his eyes brightened, because you were safe and you were with him and he loved you.

He loved you.

He loved you.

He loved you so fucking much that it hurt.

He loved you until his fingers ached and his stomach flipped.

He loved you with everything he had and wanted to scream it at the top of his lungs.

He couldn’t understand how he had gone his whole life without you, how he had managed to say that he was happy when he hadn’t met you yet. He was close to crying just by looking at you, that was how much he loved you. He had never believed that a love like this existed, and he surely didn’t think it was destined for someone like him, he didn’t deserve it — he didn’t deserve you. But you had fallen into his arms and there was no way he was going to let go.

The moment he had arrived at the fraternity, he exited the vehicle and walked around it to open your door. You were sleeping so soundlessly, he couldn’t have woken you even if there had been a fire. He unbuckled your seatbelt and picked you up in the same way he had previously brought you in your seat, then closed the door with his hip. You cuddled further into him and let him tend to you as he carried you inside.

“The fuck happened?!” Ethan’s voice caught Rafe’s attention as soon as he had stepped inside. He was in the common kitchen and he hadn’t expected to see his roommate come home with you in his arms all bandaged up.

Rafe shushed him, “She’s sleeping, you fuckin’ idiot.”

Ignoring him, he continued, “Was she in the hospital?”

“No, I put the cast on her.” He humored him, “What d’you think?!”

Ethan knew his friend and if he had started to respond in ironic remarks, he must have been pissed, which was why he didn’t pry anymore. “Need a hand?”

He sighed, “Just open the door of our room.”

Rafe gently laid you on his bed and quickly placed a pillow underneath your sprained ankle like the doctor had instructed. He covered you up with a blanket and double-checked that you were okay.

Meanwhile, Ethan looked at him as if he couldn’t recognize his own roommate, but he wasn’t complaining; he liked the whipped version of Rafe. He leaned against the wall with a playful smirk tugging at his lips when his friend turned around and noticed him.

“What?” He asked, exasperated.

“Nothing. Just never thought I’d see the day that Rafe Cameron would fall in love.”

“And if you don’t stop, it’ll be the last day you see anything.”

Raising his hands in the air, Ethan was weirded out by the mean behavior. “Alright, why are you being an asshole?”

Rafe nodded his head towards the door and they both left the room, letting you rest.

“I know it was him. She won’t say it, but I know it was.” He all but growled as he let his anger take the best of him.

“Who? The boyfriend?”

“They were supposed to break up. She left this morning and she was about to leave his ass but then she came back and told me a bunch of bullshit about how she can’t be with me. And look what fucking happened! He did this. He —“

“Rafe, calm down,” Ethan tried to be the rational one, although the thought of some guy hurting you was infuriating him; after all, you had brought out the best out of his friend and for all he knew, you were a saint for it. “You can’t just go up to a guy and break his nose because he might have hurt her. It’s late, you’re still in shock and you’re going to do something really stupid if you get out now. She needs you.” The last words convinced him. He didn’t care if Matthew hadn’t hurt you, he deserved a broken nose either way, but his roommate was right: you needed him. “I’ll sleep at Dylan’s tonight so you can be alone.” He added, and Rafe was really grateful for him in that moment.

Stepping back inside his room, he was mesmerized by the sight of you in his bed. He was never going to get used to it. He took his shoes off and lied beside you, throwing an arm around you as you instantly reached for him in your sleep. The night carried on smoothly, the back of your head on his chest and one of his hands on your stomach, the other holding your fingers. He couldn’t fall asleep. All he was able to do was stare at the ceiling and look down at you from time to time to make sure that you were comfortable. Not knowing what had happened to you was eating him inside, he only wished to protect you and shield you from anything that could ever hurt you.

All of a sudden, you stirred and slowly opened your eyes. You went to rub your eye, only to find your fingers intertwined with someone else’s, making you smile. “Mh, Rafe?”

He sat a little bit and brought your hand to his lips, “Hey, you’re awake.”

You looked up at him, but were disappointed when you realized you were unable to cuddle the way you desired, which made you ache for him. He held you tightly and that made a certain warm and fuzzy feeling to grow in your chest. You pouted, “I want a kiss.”

“God, you can’t say stuff like that.” He groaned, bending his head down nonetheless.

“Why?” You chuckled.

“‘Cause I won’t be able to stop.”

You hummed, “I don’t want you to.”

He kissed you softly, completely in contrast with the way he had done in the car, and began to pepper kisses all over your face, causing a giggle to escape your lips. Changing your position and sitting up next to him, you rested your head on his shoulders, securely hugged by his arm.

“What you thinkin’ about?” You whispered.

“I just —“ He took a deep breath, “What happened, baby?”

You reached for his hand and held it in yours before you exhaled loudly. “He said he was going to hurt you…and me. He found out about us and — and I have never seen him like that, he went mad and forced me to put a stop to…well, us.”

His grip on you tightened, his jaw locked and if looks could kill, your ex boyfriend would’ve been six feet under ground by then. “He threatened you?”

“…That’s not the worst part.” You muttered. “I don’t know how it happened. One moment I was on his bike, trying not to fall from how fast he was driving, and the next thing I know I’m flying on the hood of a car and then lying on the side of the road. He —“ You held your tears back, swallowing, “He just left. He didn’t even care to see if I was alive. The woman in the car stayed with me until the ambulance came, and you know the rest.” You mumbled the last words as your eyes stung, but you definitely felt lighter for telling him the truth. However, as you didn’t hear him answer or make any comment, you continued in panic, “Are you mad at me? I know I should’ve told you, but—“

He tried to keep his murderous thoughts to himself as he comforted you, “No, angel, of course I’m not. I’m just glad you’re safe.” He scooted down the bed, making the both of you lie completely on the mattress before he pulled you impossibly closer to him. “I’m not letting you go this time.”

You sighed happily and found your place in his neck once again, sleep taking over you for the third time, the side effect of your medications still lingering in your system. You were about to doze off when you mumbled “I love you, Rafe.”

He swore that he stopped breathing — not because he couldn’t, but because you had caused him to forget how to do it. Unaware of what you had just done to him, you slept peacefully once again as a storm of emotions hit the man lying beneath you. Once he came back from the shock, you were deep inside the dream world, nonetheless, he whispered in the silent and soft night air, “I love you, too, angel,” he pressed his lips against your temple, “so damn much.”

—

Carefully attempting to not wake you, Rafe slid out of your embrace and let you rest your head on the soft pillow. You had been sleeping for hours and he hoped you weren’t going to open your eyes, however, a whine escaped your lips when you couldn’t feel the warmth of his body against yours anymore, which made him gently shush you. “Ssh, go back to sleep. I’m gonna come back real soon.”

“Where you goin’?” You muttered sleepily.

Bending down to kiss the side of your head, he lied, “Bathroom. Just go back to sleep, baby.”

“Mh, fine.”

He watched you until he was sure that you had fallen asleep, then grabbed what he needed and softly closed the door of the room behind him as he exited it. He wasn’t going to have a good night’s sleep as long as he knew that he wasn’t doing anything to protect you, to keep that psychopath away from you, therefore, he had to move, and fast. However, he hadn’t expected to see Ethan lazily walking back into their friend’s room, the one he was staying in that night, and for him to also notice his roommate. His eyes shot open for he immediately understood what was going on; it had taken him one look at Rafe’s outfit and serious expression.

He strode towards his friends, shaking tiredness off of himself pretty quickly. “Rafe, stop! I knew you were going to do something incredibly stupid.” He said, lowering his voice but still making sure that he sounded convincing enough.

Unfortunately for him, Rafe only shook his head, “He hurt her. I’m gonna fucking kill him.” He all but growled before he began to walk away from his friend and towards the stairs of the building.

“Rafe!” Ethan exclaimed, grabbing Rafe’s forearm to halt his movements. “Do you really think that’s the smartest idea?”

“You want me to take it out on you?”

He tried his best to ignore his friend’s anger. He was aware that it wasn’t directed to him, although he looked way too scary for him to feel completely unaffected. What Ethan knew was that Rafe had to calm down before someone got hurt. “She needs you right now, what’s the point of hurting him back?”

He shrugged his hand off and faced him with hurt and determination written all over him. “He left her there, as if she were nothing. I’m not gonna let him get away with this! She’s my girl and I’m gonna remind him of that.” Finally Ethan seemed to understand the situation a bit more and if Rafe had known him any better, his roommate probably wanted to kill Matthew almost as much as he did. Almost. “You can either come with me and help me or stay with her and make sure that she’s fine. Your choice.”

He sighed, “I’ll text you if she wakes up.”

Those had been the last words Rafe had heard before he left the building and began to walk towards his car. The first place on his list was Matthew Taylor’s dorm, where he hoped the dead-man-walking was at. He only wanted to talk, of course. He wished to see him, have a nice, little chat and then just simply…break his nose and give him a concussion ten times worse than yours. Once he had found the dorm, he rushed inside, glad that the common room was full of people, therefore the open front door.

“Is Matthew Taylor here?” Was all he asked, catching everyone’s attention and curiosity. Drunk and confused guys looked up at him and he was sure he wasn’t going to get any coherent answer from them.

“He’s not.” One of them replied, the only guy that seemed more sober and alert than the others.

“Where is he?”

“Not allowed to say it.” He simply shrugged, unknowingly raising the blue eyed man’s anger.

Rafe took a couple of more steps until he stood in front of him and grabbed his shirt threateningly. “Listen, you little shit. I can punch the information out of you or you can tell me right now. It’s up to you.”

The stranger swallowed loudly and mumbled out the name of a bar that was right outside the campus, which made Rafe let go of him. Without saying another word, he walked back to his vehicle and drove to the suggested place. Once he had opened the doors of the old and loud bar, the strong smell of alcohol hit his senses, making his nose grimace. His eyes scanned the inside of the building, trying to find the only person he was looking for among the great amount of drunk people. Finally, as he walked farther inside, he saw him. There he was, drinking and laughing with some guys around him as if that had been a normal day, as if he hadn’t almost ruined a woman’s life. Rafe couldn’t have controlled his feet even if he had wanted to, they were already taking him towards the man.

“Hey Taylor!” He yelled over the loud voices mixed with the music blasting through the speakers. The wanted man turned around, confused as he looked for the person that was trying to get his attention, but it didn’t take him long for he was already in front of him and Rafe’s fist was making contact with his cheekbone.

The force of the punch led him to fall from the stool he was sitting on, however, he didn’t get much time to get back on his feet because Rafe’s fists were meeting Matthew’s face repeatedly while a crowd of people began to gather around them. Your ex-boyfriend tried to respond, to push him off, but it felt nearly impossible to do so when the angry man’s assault was unstoppable.

Rafe knew that he was going too far, but the thought of what he had done to you kept replaying in his mind and the more it did, the more he wanted to rip that guy’s head off. When he believed he’d had enough, Rafe lowered his head to get closer to Matthew’s, “Don’t you dare lay a finger on her ever again,” he growled threateningly before he got up.

He was sure to have made himself clear, which was why he was already about to get out of the building. And yet, it seemed like it hadn’t been enough for the other man because, as he sat there with blood all over his face, coughing up and holding his stomach in the process, he called out to him, “She won’t give it up to you, Cameron,” he choked out, causing Rafe to turn around and almost kill him right there, “You think I don’t know why you’re with her? Been there, man,” he chuckled dryly and in pain, “You won’t last a week.”

That was when he realized that the idiot didn’t know anything about what had happened between you two and that he really had been clueless the whole time. Rafe could’ve told him that he had already made love to you, that he had kissed every inch of your body, that he had made you scream his name and writhe beneath him until you had released all over him, but instead, he didn’t say anything. That had been the most intimate moment of his life and it was between you and Rafe, and he sure as hell didn’t want your ex boyfriend to find out about it, but wasn’t he dying to show him that he was all in and that he wasn’t going to leave you unless you kicked him out of your life.

So, he crouched down and plastered a smirk on his lips as he watched Matthew‘s face scrunch up in pain. “Lemme give you some advice, Matt,” he rasped, spitting his name as if it had been venom on his tongue, “Keep my girl’s name outta your fuckin’ mouth and I’ll stop myself from puttin’ you six feet under ground. ‘S that clear?” Finally, he raised and walked outside, ignoring the looks from the other customers, and with one single goal on his mind: make you officially his.

—

As Rafe walked back inside his room, after having cleaned himself up, he smiled weakly at the sight of you still sleeping soundly. Softly closing the door behind him, he noticed the post-it attached to it, which made him frown in confusion.

‘Had to go to practice. See you later

-Ethan’

He nodded to himself and threw the piece of paper into the bin, then he finally sat next to you. He wrapped you in his arms and left a lingering kiss on your temple, sighing in content and satisfaction.

It was like even your unconscious body knew that he was holding you again because your eyes opened and your lips curled up into a soft smile as his fingers caressed your head.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” He murmured, making sure that his voice was at a low volume in order to avoid a possible headache. “How you feelin’?”

He was hovering above you, scanning your face to check for any discomfort or sign of pain as he cradled your face in one hand, rubbing your cheekbone with his thumb. You looked up at him and all that you could think about was how anything could’ve happened that night and Rafe would’ve never known that you loved him, that you would’ve always chosen him, that the sweet and perfect man in front of you was all you ever wanted.

“I love you.” Was all you said, ignoring his question, while your teary eyes penetrated his, unaware that you had already spilled your feelings the night before.

He bit down his bottom lip, holding back a smile as he whispered, “I told you to not fall in love with me.”

You let out a wet chuckle as the memory of the day you had made the best deal of your life hit you. “Yeah, well, you were right: it was hard not to.”

“Told you I’m always right.”

Shaking your head in disbelief, you raised your good hand and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, bringing his face closer to yours. “For God’s sake, Cameron, shut up and kiss me.”

He obliged immediately, catching your lips in a world shattering kiss. Your tongues played together as his hand slipped under your sweater and then beneath you to hold your body closer to his. Your fingers slid down his torso and toyed with the hem of his shirt before moving underneath it and grabbing his bare back.

“Baby?” He rasped with his lips still so close to yours that you could feel his breath.

“Mh?”

“I love you.”

taglist:

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im more than obsessed with this series, like reading it is not enough i need it injected into my veins, and i need more chapters i love it

Kids | Rodrick Heffley

Spotify Playlist Link

Rodrick Heffley becomes obsessed when he finally meets his thirty-five year old band mate, Bill Walter’s, younger sister.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Sexual content.

“Break Stuff”

“Black Hole Sun”

“Mom, I cleaned my room yesterday!”

“No, you did not, young man!”

Sara Walter sat patiently on the stairs of the Heffley house, arms crossed lazily as she listened to her boyfriend arguing with his mother for the second time that day.

“Mom! I cleaned my room right after you told me to! Greg saw me!” Rodrick exclaimed, looking up the stairs for support. “Hey! Greg! Greg!”

Susan Heffley sighed, exasperated as she heard her younger son’s voice respond.

“Yeah?!”

Greg ran down the stairs with Rowley in an instant, worried he was about to get in trouble with either Rodrick or his mom. He stood on the stairs just behind where Sara was sitting, as Rowley Jefferson stood behind him, waiting patiently.

“Did I, or did I not, clean my room yesterday when Mom told me to?” Rodrick asked expectantly.

“You did,” Greg said after a moment of thought, “I saw you.”

Rodrick threw up his hands at the revelation, looking back to Susan. “I told you so.”

“Well, if you did clean your room yesterday, you didn’t do a very good job,” she smiled sarcastically. “Clean it again.”

“But, Mom!”

“‘But’ nothing, it’s a pigsty in there,” Susan insisted in disgust.

“You’re being dramatic, there’s only a few shirts and jackets on the bed.”

“Rodrick,” Sara mumbled, “It’s fine, we can go after—”

“Then it won’t be that hard to pick them up!” she argued, cutting Sara off.

“But, I’m supposed to take Sara out for sushi!” Rodrick complained. “I saved up all month…”

“You’re not going anywhere if you don’t clean your room,” Susan repeated.

“Can’t I just clean it after?!”

“Rodrick, it’s fine,” Sara whispered, silently pleading with him.

“You know, Rodrick, I’m getting real sick of this attitude of yours,” she said crossly, “Ever since you started hanging around Sara, you’ve been irritable and rude. I think she’s a bad influence on you, Rodrick.”

Sara looked up at Susan with her mouth sitting agape, a look of disbelief in her eyes.

“But, Mom,” Greg spoke up, as Rowley began to seem visibly afraid, “Sara hasn’t even said anything this whole time—”

“Greg, this is between me and your brother,” Susan stated sharply, as Rowley pointedly backed up up the stairs.

“Sara has nothing to do with this!” Rodrick just stared at her.

“Hey, guys,” Frank Heffley’s voice cut in.

Everyone turned to see Frank standing by the stairs, confused by the fact that his entire household was gathered near the front door just before dinner time.

“What’s going on?” he questioned.

Susan was the first to speak, as Rowley and Sara were both equally uncomfortable as guests in the Heffley house.

“Your son is refusing to re-clean his room before he leaves the house with his girlfriend,” Susan explained promptly.

“…But, I just saw his room, there’s just some clothes on the bed,” Frank said, before seeing the look of pure anger in his wife’s eyes.

Then, everyone was silent once again.

“Frank. Tell your son that he needs to respect my wishes, and that we feel his girlfriend has been a bad influence on him,” Susan spoke firmly.

“We do?” Frank questioned, feeling as if he’d missed something.

“Yes!”

“Hey, I can just leave,” Sara offered, standing up out of extreme discomfort.

“Yes, I think that would be best,” Susan decided with a nod.

“No!” Rodrick cut in, angry on Sara’s behalf as she stood behind him. “You’re staying, and I’m gonna take you out for the best dinner ever!”

“Susan, maybe he can just clean his room once he gets home,” Frank offered a compromise, “You’ll be home before nine. Yes?” he asked with authority.

“Yes,” Rodrick nodded, growing frustrated with the situation.

“Absolutely not! He needs to learn responsibility!”

“He is learning responsibility!” Frank expressed. “And my stomach needs to learn what food is!”

“He hasn’t learned a thing!” Susan screamed back. “Not while he’s dating that—”

Greg’s face fell in horror, and his older brother was fuming. Sara stood behind Rodrick, experiencing more emotions than she cared to in the moment.

“While he’s dating that what, Mom?!” Rodrick shouted. “What is she, Mom?”

“She’s…” the woman just sighed. “She’s Bill.”

Rodrick’s eyes darkened with rage as everyone grew even more tense, if that was even possible.

Susan angrily shut her eyes for a moment, overwhelmed. “Rodrick—“

“No. You don’t get to bash Sara, again, just because you’re pissed at me!”

“So Sara’s exempt from criticism, just because she’s your girlfriend?!”

“Jesus Christ!”

Everyone slowly turned in horror, seeing Sara sobbing as she remained beside Rodrick, who stood blocking the door, stained black tears running down her face.

“Can I please just leave?!” she screamed.

Her heart was beating faster than she could track it, and she was shaking profusely. Frank Heffley looked at her with pity as Greg and Rowley both started to get scared for her and Rodrick.

“No, babe,” Rodrick said, taking her hand, “We’re gonna sort this out.”

“Sort what out?!” Sara cried, “She’s never gonna like me! No matter what I do!”

“Well, why should I like you?!” Susan asked confrontationally. “You smell like cigarettes, and you do drugs with my son, and you put crazy ideas in his head!”

“Susan,” Frank said quietly, glancing up the stairs, “The kids…”

She was past the point of taking them into consideration.

“‘Crazy ideas’?!” Sara questioned. “What crazy ideas?!”

“That a 2.9 GPA is a good thing to have, for one!”

“That’s what this is about?!” Sara gasped. “Rodrick came over to my house, crying because you all but called him stupid! I told him he wasn’t stupid, how am I the asshole here?!”

“You cannot speak to me that way!” Susan thundered.

“And you can speak about me, and my family that way?!” Sara screamed.

“Oh, don’t play the victim!” Susan shouted. “Just because you’re the one with the white trash family, and the crazy mom, and the dead cousin, no one can criticize you!”

Sara’s eyes widened as she froze, every instinct in her body screaming at her to start swinging.

“Jesus Christ, Susan!” Frank exclaimed.

“No, I’m tired of it!” she yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Sara as she froze, her fight or flight response beginning to kick in.

Evidently, ‘flight’ seemed to be the safer option when it came to your boyfriend’s mother.

“I’m tired of walking on eggshells around a seventeen year-old girl who used to do drink, and do drugs, and cut, and have sex with any boy who looked in her direction. My friend worked with her mother; even her own mother doesn’t like her! You should’ve heard the things she overheard!”

“Mom, stop!” Greg yelled.

But everything was already in motion. Sara had already forcibly pushed past Rodrick, and ran out the front door.

“Sara!”

Rodrick glared hatefully at his mother one last time before running out after her.

“Rodrick! Get back in here!” Susan shouted.

“Susan…!”

Frank didn’t even know what to say.

“What?!” she snapped furiously.

“Mom!” Greg cried, as Rowley ran up the stairs out of fear. “I love Sara!”

Susan looked up at her middle son in complete shock.

“What’s to like about a girl like that?!”

“Why do you hate her so much?!” Greg demanded.

“Because! She smokes, she drinks—”

“So does Rodrick!” he pointed out. “How is she any worse?!”

There was a pause as she tried to formulate a response.

“Mom, there was no reason to say that about her,” Greg sighed, hurt. “Sara loves Rodrick. And she loves us too.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Susan scoffed skeptically.

“Yes, she does!” Greg argued as his father just listened. “When she comes over, she asks you if she can give Manny candy, doesn’t she?”

There was no immediate answer to the question.

“When she comes over, she makes sure Rodrick does what he’s supposed to. She always makes sure he’s home on time when they go out. She asks me how school is, and she listens to my answer. She helped me with my history paper.

“She calls me names like ‘kid’ and ‘champ’ and ‘tiger’ because she thinks it’s funny. She told me if I ever wanna buy a girl jewelry, I have to know whether she likes gold or silver. She hugged Rowley for a full three minutes that time he came over after he heard his parents arguing,” Greg reminded her.

Susan was silent, not seeming to have any specific reaction to the case he’d made.

“Sara isn’t a bad influence on Rodrick. She’s the reason he’s happy. She’s the reason he hits me less and actually tries on his homework now,” Greg sighed. “Whatever‘s going on with you guys has nothing to do with her.”

Frank watched as his son ran back upstairs, taking one look at his wife before he ran outside.

“Sara! Sara!”

Rodrick was chasing her all down the block, breathless and terrified he was losing her.

“What?!” she demanded, still in tears.

“Come back!” he cried. “I’m sorry about my mom, let’s go back inside—”

“For what?!” Sara hissed, stopping as she slapped his hand away from her. “For her to just rub my family in my face again?! I can’t do this anymore!”

“Do what?” he stared, terrified of what was coming next.

“Maybe your mom was right,” she sighed, not knowing what to think or feel.

“What?! You’re not a bad influence on me!” he cried.

“No. Not about that,” she gulped, her voice cracking. “I think she was right… I’m not like you. I’m white trash,” she scoffed, laughing coldly.

A sad look graced Rodrick’s features as he tried to disagree with her as adamantly as possible.

“Mental illness and addiction run in my family like red hair, or twins. My mom’s a piece of work, and my stepdad’s a deadbeat with nowhere else to be,” she admitted. “I… I’m on the same path as everyone else in my family; schizophrenia, and a bullet in the head. I’m not like you; I’m not gonna grow out of this, the smoking and the crazy; you have everything ahead of you, and everything is behind me,” she concluded, running a hand through her messy blonde hair as her world slowly began to collapse.

“That’s not true!” Rodrick protested. “Any of it! I love you, Sara! You’re the smartest person I know! You’re nice, you’re kind, and you’re funny, and you help me, and you’re, like, the sun…! And you revolve around me, or something…! Fuck, I’m stupid! Fuck! Why am I so stupid?!”

“I make Bill look like the responsible sibling!” Sara laughed hysterically. “I’m a plane that’s already headed down.”

“That’s not true,” Rodrick repeated, a hopeless look in his sad eyes. “I love you.”

“That’s why you don’t see it,” Sara concluded, completely burnt out as she just walked off to her car.

Rodrick watched her go, unable to come up with anything smart or profound.

“Sara?!” he called, afraid she was truly walking away. “Sara?!”

She didn’t respond.

“Sara!” he screamed. “Sara… Please don’t leave me here,” he begged her.

Frank Heffley came running up with Greg now trailing after him, both of them worried for Rodrick as he sank to his knees in the middle of the sidewalk. He didn’t know what else to do, breaking down completely as Frank tried to comfort his son.

“I’m so stupid!” Rodrick wailed, as strangers seemed either curious or too nervous to acknowledge. “I’m fucking stupid! Stupid!”

Greg grimaced, physically pained as he’d never seen his older brother like this before.

“FUCKING STUPID! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! I’M FUCKING STUPID! STUPID…!”

-