"Ohmmmmmmyyyyyyyyggghghhhhhhhgggggggggdhdhsjsixudbslsogbdsisgshdbxidjdbdidhdifjfiri"

"Ohmmmmmmyyyyyyyyggghghhhhhhhgggggggggdhdhsjsixudbslsogbdsisgshdbxidjdbdidhdifjfiri"

–bts, nov 25th 2020

I-

There are no words to express how much I died laughing reading this thread. Idk why but the first thing that popped in my head was Tae up on the tall chair decked out in gucci- like sunglasses and fur coat and shit- just looking on through his binoculars seeing me flailing and dying in the water looking stupid and just saying, "Hmmm... that's not the vibe." And I just DIED. I CAN'T. 😭😭😭

So I saw the newest BTS photos, specifically Hobiguard, and thought, “I hope Taehyung is never my lifeguard because drowning would not pass his vibe check and I would die.” But now I feel guilty because Tae is Good Boy™️ and Good Boy™️ would never let people drown! Anyways, I’m a huge fan of your lists, how would you feel about ranking the boys as lifeguards?

it's a damned good thing BTS are not lifeguards because your girl would have a fourth-degree sunburn from dragging my ass out to the beach every day.

but let's pretend for a moment that our faves had their own personal baewatch squad, shall we? 😉

jeon jungkook

holds all the records at the bangtan lifeguard academy. fastest swimmer, fastest rescues, best form sᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ . takes his job very seriously. studiously ignores all flirting attempts because he's actually watching the water ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇʀᴠᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴀɴ. hits the gym after a full shift spent sweating his ass off in the sun because carbs never sleep.

kim taehyung

you -- yes, you on your towel over there making a big show of applying your sunscreen. kim taehyung is well aware that you show up every tuesday and rub yourself down in slow-motion in a grand attempt to get his attention. in fact -- he's well aware that every woman on the beach -- the giggling pre-teens who show up in squads to stare at him, the wealthy stay-at-home moms who text pictures of him to their tennis buddies, the little old ladies who use their grandkids as an excuse to make conversation -- he's well aware that they're all trying to get his attention. but everyone gets the same treatment -- a tiny nod, a quick smile. after that, y'all better keep it moving.

park jimin

park jimin does not go to the beach to watch people, people go to the beach to watch park jimin. buys all his board shorts one size down, wears giant mirrored aviator sunglasses so know one can tell when he's looking -- and baby, he's always looking. it's a miracle no one has actually drowned on one of his shifts.

jung hoseok

the nicest guy on the beach, duh. smiles at everyone and everything -- always in danger of cramping that pretty face. memorizes the names of his regulars, brings his own bottles of water for anyone who forgot theirs. stays on the chair because there are things like animals! and insects! in the sand.

min yoongi

hates this job. all capital letters H A T E S this job. would gladly be pouring lattes somewhere dark and air-conditioned but forgot to look for summer work until it was too late and got stuck doing this instead. has toyed with the idea of quitting and citing his whiteness as a valid medical concern but this beer isn’t going to buy itself, is it? settles instead for wearing a neck-to-ankle wetsuit.

kim seokjin

forget the waves and the sand and the water views — seokjin is the natural beauty on the beach. he knows it, too. never ever ever ever wears a shirt because the people deserve to see these shoulders and abs. blows his whistle at no one in particular just to get everyone’s attention now and again.

kim namjoon

the hottest, sternest, most serious lifeguard on staff. reads the rip current reports. keeps a live radar app open on his phone. lectures anyone who attempts to hit the water without applying sunscreen about the dangers of skin cancer. has literally no clue when someone is flirting with him, thinks that person is actually interested in hearing about the migratory patterns of seagulls.

TEASER ARRIVING 24.02.04

BEFALLEN: past participate of befall.

BEFALL (bi-'fól):

to happen especially as if by fate

This was never meant to happen, him and I. He's untouchable, unreachable by all around him.

I locked my heart away in a concrete box long ago. So how is it that the boy with the doe eyes is slipping in the cracks?

Jeon Jungkook x Reader Fanfiction

dumb and dumber 😂 (for @agustdfeatrm ♡)

she’s a 10 but she writes smut on tumblr.com

my favourite animal is a jimin-bra