As Someone Who Has Been Repeatedly (and Falsely) Accused Of Intelligence, The Thoughts Are Not Coherent

as someone who has been repeatedly (and falsely) accused of intelligence, the thoughts are not coherent

smart people are so cute to me lol figuring things out and living in coherent thought and stuff. good for them

okay but like, imagine this during a nightmare

death looms over with no escape in sight, you're buried alive, you're surrounded by your loved ones who all hate you for some reason

and you're just like

"okay that's cool and all, but I gtg, promiseitsreallyimportantokaybye"

and you just fucking dip

masterful play

I was dreaming the other night when I suddenly said, "Hang on, I gotta check on my body," and then I violently jolted awake.

have you tried removing your spine?

but what about bads?

I WANT BADS

I am currently investing in currency 

oh my god, they figured it out

Broke: vampires are vulnerable to the trappings of Christianity only, particularly Catholicism, no matter how dubiously applied. (See: Van Helsing's Communion wafer grouting).

Woke: vampires are vulnerable to sincere faith of all kinds, and atheist vampire-hunters need to believe very strongly in the Power of Friendship or their love of Star Trek to get by.

Bespoke: vampires are vulnerable to the faith that they followed when they were alive, and hunters tracking down an ancient vampire are obliged to learn about Neo-Babylonian theology or Middle Palaeolithic bear cults.

epitaph, king crimson

the title of the last song you listened to is the epitaph on your tombstone