"What Are You Doing?!" Jet Sounded Appalled.

"What are you doing?!" Jet sounded appalled.

Spike glanced from Lupin, sitting on the floor and playing with Spike's lighter, over to Jet who had fully entered the living room and was staring in horrified dismay at the toddler.

"Keeping an eye on the kid - what does it look like I'm doing?" Spike asked sarcastically.

"He's gonna get burnt!" Jet exclaimed with alarm.

Spike snickered. "That's the idea."

"What the *HELL* Spike!"

The lanky bounty hunter sighed. "Look, we got burn cream yeah? Aloe? A janky skin graft machine if need be?"

Warily Jet nodded in response to all of Spike's queries.

Spike shrugged. "We'll be fine then. It's not like I'm letting him play with the blow torch. Anyway Faye has been trying to get him to understand but I felt like a hard lesson would be the best way to learn."

Jet was gaping at his explanation. "Wha...?"

Spike sighed again. He gave his full attention to Lupin. "Hey, whatcha got there, buddy?"

The toddler grinned up at his dad. "Bird!"

"Yeah, burn. What about it?"

"Hod!" Lupin told him excitedly.

"Yeah, hot." Spike turned back to Jet. "See? He gets it but he doesn't get it. There's a lot in life he's gonna have to learn to take our word for - I don't want him getting shot just to see how taking a bullet feels - so if we can get him to realize what we're saying is important and that something is dangerous..." He trailed off.

"I can't believe I'm saying this..." Jet began slowly. "But that does make a lot of sense. Is Faye on board with this?"

"Mmhmm," Spike nodded, his focus back on the toddler toying with the lighter as he tried to figure out how to make it work the way his parents did. "She didn't want to watch him hurt himself though. Says she gets enough of that from me. Which, sure, was true enough before but I haven't gotten seriously hurt - at least not intentionally - in a long time!"

"Oh Spike-o," It was Jet's turn to sigh.

There was a click and then a shriek of joy from Lupin who fumbled the lighter when it unexpectedly worked and surprised him. The flame died as soon as he dropped the lighter on the ground in shock, but no sooner had it hit the floor than he was grabbing for it again with his pudgy baby hands. Jet and Spike exchanged a nervous look. Lupin was still far too curious about the device but then again he hadn't managed to touch the flame itself yet.

"Bet he doesn't cry when he finally gets burnt," Spike said casually.

Jet grunted. "You mean actual tears?"

Spike nodded. "He's never been much of a crier. Noisy, sure, but tears? Hardly ever."

"That's true. You both lucked out with this one - not that I'm too familiar with how babies operate but I expected more waterworks. Funny how happy he turned out when you're both such miserable assholes."

"Like hell we still are!"

Another click. And then... "Ahh! Dada! Hod! Hod!" Lupin had dropped the lighter again but he'd clearly managed to touch the flame first. He was wide eyed, no tears, staring back and forth between the device on the floor and one of his hands which didn't look badly burnt but had been lightly singed.

"Oh kiddo, c'mere," Spike held his arms out and Lupin got up to toddle to his father. "What'd you learn, little man? Your mom was right, hey? Dangerous."

The toddler nodded sadly and stuck his burnt fingers - actually, his entire little fist - into his mouth. He turned his sad eyes on Jet, whose heart broke at the sight.

"I'll go get the cream," Jet choked out, just to escape those puppy dog eyes.

"Thanks, Jet," Spike called after him. He looked at his son. "I should've bet he'd be the one to cry," He told the kid with a chuckle.

When he wakes up this time it is different than it ever was before.

There is no humming. There is no singing - off key or on. There is no hauntingly beautiful blond staring sadly out the window. There is no standoffish con woman pretending not to be worried about the asshole on the couch as she cheats her way through another game of solitaire. Only Faye would cheat herself in cards. Faye...

For a moment he is frightened and confused. The ceiling is familiar at least. The slowly spinning fan marking time between each tired blink of his eyes.

But then he notices the soft weight of a hand atop his - a gentle grip around his wrist. Fingers on his pulse as if to ensure he is alive.

And then he hears the quiet sigh of someone who is trying not to cry. Or perhaps has just finished doing so. Someone pulling themself back together. Vulnerable in the wake of an emotional upheaval.

"Don't," He manages to say. "Don't cry,"

A gasp. The grip on his wrist tightens momentarily and then vanishes. Cool hands cradle his face, soothing the fever that must be burning through him. Violet hair fans around a face filled with heartbreak and hope, and her eyes... God, those eyes... They race over his features as if commiting every detail to memory. Has his face changed? He feels more relaxed. He feels free.

His own gaze is half lidded and all he can manage. But he tries to quirk a smile to reassure her.

"Told you... Wasn't going to die." He says.

To his surprise, her features crumple into new tears. But he hears a laugh in her sudden sobs. And then he understands she's crying in relief.

"Lunkhead," She mutters, affection in her tone. It fills him with warmth.

He hadn't been sure when he left if he had been reading her right.

Hadn't been confident in the implications of her tremulous words and the suspicious shine to her eyes. He'd wanted to believe that he mattered to her, that his presence on the ship was important - but it had been a fragile belief.

"Needed to... be sure you'd be safe. And Jet, too." He tries to explain his reasoning to her, but then a new thought hits him. "How..."

"I came after you." She says simply.

He manages a semblance of a laugh. "Kinda...defeats the purpose... I went... by myself... to keep you safe."

Her hands are still on his face. Tears are dripping down her cheeks and landing on his own skin. She doesn't even seem to notice the wetness though. Her eyes narrow in irritation and her lips purse briefly.

"You don't get to decide how I live my life. If you can risk yours to keep us safe, I can risk mine to bring you home." Her features melt into relief again, but then firm up into a stern glare once more. "No more of this solo hero bullshit, Spike. You try that again and I will shoot you."

"Faye," He loves the way her name rolls off his tongue. Loves the way she is tenderly caressing his temples with her fingertips, her thumbs stroking his cheeks. Fuck, it is unreal but amazing that he is back on the Bebop... No more loose ends threatening his friends. He is alive after all ...and it is time to truly live. Time to roll the dice and take another wild risk. "Shut up and kiss me."

The first few nights they share a bed that's all they do.

Just share space.

Simply exist side by side.

She knows he isn't comfortable having her on the outside - though what threat could she face on the Bebop? But he is even less comfortable having his back to the door, and she posits that he can simply roll over her if he needs to jump out of bed to face an enemy.

He goes quiet when she offers that option and she knows it's because she has called him out on something so intrinsically a part of himself that he hadn't realized anyone else took note and understood the fear at the root of the behavior.

The ever present dread that had been a part of his life many years ago, sure, but for so terribly long that it was still ingrained in him to be on the defense. Especially when in bed, asleep, vulnerable. Never mind the gun under the pillow or the knives stashed along the wall in the space between it and the mattress. There was caution bred into him.

He wakes constantly and she can't imagine it's very restful. But it's just that he's adjusting to her presence - lying on her side and facing him as he lays upon his side facing her, with his back flush with the wall. He isn't used to hearing her breathing, or feeling the twitch of her fingers curled up with his own, their entwined hands between them both on the bed. Linking them together. Bridging the gulf of loneliness and insecurity that exist as emotional moats around them both.

Sometimes their foreheads brush together and it is more intimate than anything she has ever known.

Well.

Until they eventually cross that last line.

But in the beginning it is innocent. It is just two people who have been through pain and betrayal and are hesitant to take that plunge. She wonders if that is why he jerks awake sometimes. If he worries that she is sneaking away, about to perform a disappearing act.

That one hasn't been in her bag of tricks since he used it himself and scared everyone so badly. She has something here at last - and while it scares her... She refuses to show that. Refuses to bow her head or turn heel. She has fought her way to this point and she will not throw it away no matter how nervous all of this makes her.

It is a balm to her pride to know he feels the same way. Frightened, yet unwilling to admit it. Taking small steps in the most courageous undertaking of all... Exploration of the heart... Embracing love. She can tell because his emotions shine from his good eye. He can't hide the things she makes him feel. The things she dredges up. The uncertainty that she knows is reflected back at him from her own faltering gaze.

But she never falters completely. It is impossible to break that gaze, reading each other's hearts and seeing your own value so astronomically higher than you ever deemed yourself being worth. She cannot look away from his mismatched eyes, cannot hide the truths within her from his stare. Their breathing syncs and eventually they will both close their eyes to the weariness that takes them from the peace of this moment into the uncertain peril of dreams.

And while neither can do more than sleep fitfully at first, they don't give up. Dark circles linger under their eyes for weeks. Exhaustion pulls at them until they begin to acclimate to each other. They stop jarring each other from slumber quite as often. Their fatigue finally ends.

She breaks their routine first. They're both so walled off, so reluctant to change anything, so guarded against what they both crave so much. But she decides one night to be bold. After all, it was one of her traits which first captivated him. And it is that memory of their meeting that gives her the courage to turn her back on him. To lay down in the space directly before him, wedging her ass right back against his groin - and okay yeah that was feistier than she intended but she isn't gonna shift away.

He is tense behind her - possibly even holding his breath - clearly not sure what to do with her in this position. But she needs to feel his heart beating against her back. Wants to be in his arms instead of timidly holding his hand. And so she goes a step further and takes his arm - the left one that was lying stiffly along his side - and drapes it around her own shoulder. Pulls his hand to rest wrapped in both of hers, held tightly to her own chest. Letting him feel her heart, pounding as if she'd run a marathon.

And he lets his breath out slowly, so slowly, and melts against her. She can practically feel him letting down his barriers, opening the gate of his heart so she can make a home for herself there.

It is still innocent between them, though Jet often eyes them like he doesn't believe they aren't knocking boots every night. Even Ed seems to assume they're sleeping together already. And they let their friends believe whatever they want because Spike and Faye like that this is separate. This is their own private thing. And they can go about it any damn pace they are comfortable with.

"Faye-Faye!"

Faye stiffened up and then whirled to clap her hand over Ed's mouth.

"Ed I swear if you wake that baby up!"

Ed grinned hard - Faye could feel it under her palm. Trusting that the other girl would remain quiet, she took her hand back and then put both hands on Ed's shoulders to spin her around and march her into the kitchen.

Yawning so huge that her jaw made a noise, which amusingly made Ed look over her shoulder at Faye in alarm, the gambler pushed the hacker to lean against the table past the burners of the stove. She moved on autopilot to get some coffee started and eventually sat with an exhausted sigh on the stool that was in front of the burners.

It was a terrible spot for it but she didn't care to go to the trouble of moving it somewhere further out of the way. Ed had watched her quietly but scrambled up onto the table to poke around in the cupboard above until she found what she was looking for and offered it to Faye.

Raising her eyebrows with a chuckle, Faye took the creamy liqueur with a smile of thanks. "I won't ask how you knew that was there." She murmured.

Ed giggled. "It's not what you think. Ed still doesn't care for goofy juice, not even the flavored stuff." She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Jet's little secret stash."

Faye snorted as she stood back up to fill her cup with coffee and the little boozy enhancement. "And he says he doesn't have a sweet tooth."

"You okay, Faye-Faye?" Ed asked then. "Ed didn't mean to make noise..."

"Oh you're fine, Ed." Faye replied. "Anyway he's sleeping so hard I'd be surprised if anything woke him in the next few hours."

"Oh good, he's been so fussy."

Faye laughed so hard she almost spilled her mug. "Yeah sure, we can call it that."

"He'll be okay though?" Ed was still concerned.

Sipping on the mug and deciding it was hot but not so hot that she couldn't chug the whole beverage, Faye slammed her coffee before moving to stand next to Ed. She set down the mug on the table before sliding an arm around Ed's slim shoulders.

"I know you're worried because you've never seen him sick, but you gotta understand something, Ed." She cleared her throat. "Men can handle a lot. Getting shot, getting stabbed, mostly pain stuff they shrug off. But when it comes to being sick? They are the biggest babies in the entire universe. Bigger than actual babies. All they can do is bitch and moan and cry about how bad they feel. Spike will be just fine. I finally got him to take some real medicine and now that he's resting it'll have a chance to kick in. Just you wait and see - he'll be back to normal in no time, I promise."

Spike's favorite position on the couch is when he can pillow his head on Faye's lap. She'll run a hand through his hair and rest the other hand on his chest so she can feel every rise and fall. His heartbeat comforts her, while her hand in his hair comforts him.

Her lap doesn't have space for him at the moment though, so their positions have somewhat reversed. Faye is laying on her side, her cheek against his thigh, and he strokes a hand through her hair while he lets his other arm rest along her side so he can brush his fingers against her swollen stomach.

It's been weeks - months - and he's still amazed. He's not overly egotistical but he knows he's badass and yet she leaves him in awe constantly. The knowledge that she is carrying a child - his child - within her... It's like an aphrodisiac. He finds that he can't ever kiss her enough, touch her enough. He's like an addict but he can't bring himself to care.

Spike knows Jet finds it entertaining. Rough and tough ready to rumble Spike Spiegel, affectionate as can be... Absolutely gaga over a woman. But Spike is proud of his feelings and never plans to hide his heart ever again. He tried that time and again but it never did much for him, not the way loving this woman does. Love is something to cherish and needn't be hidden away or denied. So he lets Jet tease him and smiles because it feels damn good to be happy and honest about it.

Ed has been giddier than Spike ever imagined possible. She'd already been full of joy and laughter and ludicrous statements but she's reached new levels of exultation since Faye announced her pregnancy. She's pored over all the books and videos she can find, chattering nonstop to Faye about everything she's learned, simply over the moon about the upcoming new addition to the family. And, surprisingly, rather than exhausting Faye with her delight, Ed's jubilation has seemed to give Faye strength.

Even now Ed is giggling over baby names, sitting in front of the couch and leaning against Spike's leg, telling Faye about the meanings as she drowses on the couch. Faye uses the hand she isn't laying on to tousle Ed's hair, making Spike envious which amuses both girls. Jet is offering his two cents on the subject of names every now and again. He's got Ein on his lap over on the chair, his real hand kneading the scruff of Ein's neck, and a glass of whiskey he's been nursing held in his metal hand.

It's the end of another day and they're all winding down after a hearty dinner and the earlier bounty mission - which thankfully was a breeze since they'd brought Ed along while Faye held down the fort with Ein.

Moments like these are almost beyond belief. Sometimes Spike pinches himself just to make sure he's awake because this all seems too good to be true. It's the dream he'd never dared to dream - but it's real and it's his. This life, this ship, these people he calls family. It's his.

Faye sighs quietly and turns her head slightly to look up at him. Her eyes are full of love but he can tell she's tired and fighting to stay conscious. She opens her mouth and confirms that when she speaks.

"It's so hard to stay awake," She murmurs.

He smiles down at her. "So go to sleep, silly,"

But she grins back and rolls her head back and forth on his thigh, the closest thing to shaking her head she can manage laying down on him the way she is.

"No, I want to savor this," She confides. "These peaceful hours are limited. The future will be full of noise and work."

He thinks he knows what she means though she doesn't even fully know what she means. They've only got a vague idea of the struggle that lies ahead... The tears, the smells, the unending exhaustion. But they both have a pretty good idea of the challenge they'll be undertaking soon. And he understands her desire to relish every one of these relaxing evenings. He's been doing just the same.

Spike takes a deep breath - reveling in the recycled air, which still holds a faint fishy odor despite how long it's been since Jet converted the Bebop from a fishing trawler to the home it is these days. He dances his fingers atop Faye's stomach, wondering if it will provoke the baby to try kicking him the way it has done before. Faye giggles but doesn't protest even though he wonders every time the baby moves if there's pain involved. She's assured him otherwise but she's lied before to reassure him so he still has his doubts. At least he knows if it were serious she'd be honest so if there is any discomfort she doesn't find it worth remarking on.

"Yeah, we're in for some trouble no doubt," He admits to her. "But it'll be worth it. After all, you were awfully loud mouthed and feisty for a while, and now you bring me peace."

She snorts. "We're not the delicate type. But... You're right. Eventually it'll be just like this...except with one more human taking up space."

"One more human that still needs a name," Jet calls to them both.

Spike opens his mouth to reply but Ed beats him to it. "Gotta meet the baby first! See what fits."

"Sure, but it helps to have some ideas in mind," Faye puts in. "Go on, Ed. Let's hear the options for the next letter of the alphabet."

"Yes yes! The letter J! Let's start with... Welsh names this time!"

Spike tries to pay attention but he's distracted by how beautiful Faye is. Even when she starts snoring before Ed gets to the names of Turkish origin. And he thinks that maybe this is his favorite position on the couch after all.

"Spike... What are you doing in here?" Faye queried, though she wasn't exactly protesting the way he had slunk up behind her and was kissing along the nape of her neck. His hands had snuck to the front of her body and were working at undoing the knot that held her towel up.

"Isn't it obvious?" As if for emphasize he shifted against her back, letting her feel his arousal. She met his gaze in the mirror, smirking.

"If we're both in here... And Jet is meeting with Bob..." She narrowed her eyes at him in their steamy reflection. "I love Ed but her attention span makes me nervous..."

"Relax, babe. Lupin's in his playpen and I left Ein in charge."

Faye raised her hands upwards and behind herself to plunge them into his hair. Her change in posture helped him get the towel off her body at last so it could drop to the floor.

"Ahh I knew you were a smart man," She purred, gripping his hair the way she knew drove him weak in the knees. "Well, let's not waste any of this precious time!"