Parenting - Tumblr Posts
little dude is happy af. Cinderella is possibly his favorite character!
There’s no point getting angry about an “I don’t know.” It’s not like yelling at a child will make them suddenly know. It’s not like I’m intentionally not knowing something. It’s not my fault that I don’t know. I just... don’t know. I don’t know everything.
Also, on the ADHD thing? YES. I don’t know why or how I managed to forget to do a chore immediately after you told me to do it. It just happened. My executive functions don’t always function executively. It doesn’t mean I’m not trying my best, it means I didn’t succeed this one time.
Anyway adults saying “I don’t know isn’t an answer” is part of the reason I learned to lie and bluff so well.
Parenting done right, 9-22-2022.
saying “i wouldn’t be a good parent” is a morally neutral statement and i’m sick of whenever i say it people replying “noo no you’d be a GREAT mother i know you would!!!” like… no! being a good parent requires a certain set of skills and traits and i know that i don’t have them and that’s a good thing!!! i think people should figure out if they would be good parents BEFORE having kids and maybe we’d have less shitty parents in the world! fuck!
I get nostalgic for things I’ve never had or experienced. I feel nostalgia for all of the father’s days I should’ve spent with my dad. I love so wholely and so deeply he should be sorry for neglecting my admiration. A girl will always look up to her father until he refuses to look back at her. As I get older, I thought it would hurt less but I actually discovered the pain becomes nostalgia.
It actually horrifies how normalized it is to ground children. And I'm not saying there's not a time and place for it, that being when it correlates to the offense. Natural consequences are great tecahing tools. I am saying that I find it disturbing how so often a parent's first instinct is to isolate their child from their support system whenever that child displeases them. And if that doesn't satisfy them, they'll take away anything they can think of that makes their child happy. Usually that's an electronic, since a kid can use that to contact their support system. I've been grounded and had my phone taken a few times. It only made me resent my parents more. It didn't teach me anything except how to take my phone back, hide it well, and replace it the day before I was set to get it back. My parents still don't know I did that.
A lot of people around me are having kids and every day it becomes more apparent that hitting your children to punish them is insane because literally everything can be a horrible punishment in their eyes if you frame it as such.
Like, one family makes their toddler sit on the stairs for three minutes when he hits his brother or whatever. The stairs are well lit and he can see his family the whole time, he’s just not allowed to get up and leave the stairs or the timer starts over. He fucking hates it just because it’s framed as a punishment.
Another family use a baseball cap. It’s just a plain blue cap with nothing on it. When their toddler needs discipline he gets a timeout on a chair and has to put the cap on. When they’re out and about he just has to wear the cap but it gets the same reaction. Nobody around them can tell he’s being punished because it’s in no way an embarrassing cap, but HE knows and just the threat of having to wear it is enough.
And there isn’t the same contempt afterwards I’ve seen with kids whose parents hit them. One time the kid swung a stick at my dog, his mother immediately made him sit on the stairs, he screamed but stayed put, then he came over to my dog and gently said “Sorry Ellie” and went back to playing like nothing happened, but this time without swinging sticks at the nearby animals.
Back in the 1960s, a Harvard graduate student made a landmark discovery about the nature of human anger.
At age 34, Jean Briggs traveled above the Arctic Circle and lived out on the tundra for 17 months. There were no roads, no heating systems, no grocery stores. Winter temperatures could easily dip below minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit.
Briggs persuaded an Inuit family to “adopt” her and “try to keep her alive,” as the anthropologist wrote in 1970.
At the time, many Inuit families lived similar to the way their ancestors had for thousands of years. They built igloos in the winter and tents in the summer. “And we ate only what the animals provided, such as fish, seal and caribou,” says Myna Ishulutak, a film producer and language teacher who lived a similar lifestyle as a young girl.
Briggs quickly realized something remarkable was going on in these families: The adults had an extraordinary ability to control their anger.
“They never acted in anger toward me, although they were angry with me an awful lot,” Briggs told the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. in an interview.
Continue Reading.
So I have a two year old son who can only go to sleep listening to La fin du Show... which is a 7 minutes long, french Canadian song from the band Les Cowboys Fringants. It is not a lullaby. It's the posthumous, sorrowful song they released after their singer died from cancer last year. My kid listened to this song with us when it first came out, decided it was a masterpiece and proceeded to ask us to sing it to him every night ever since.
If you had to sing a child to sleep RIGHT NOW what would you sing and it CANT BE a lullaby it has to be a regular song
"What are you doing?!" Jet sounded appalled.
Spike glanced from Lupin, sitting on the floor and playing with Spike's lighter, over to Jet who had fully entered the living room and was staring in horrified dismay at the toddler.
"Keeping an eye on the kid - what does it look like I'm doing?" Spike asked sarcastically.
"He's gonna get burnt!" Jet exclaimed with alarm.
Spike snickered. "That's the idea."
"What the *HELL* Spike!"
The lanky bounty hunter sighed. "Look, we got burn cream yeah? Aloe? A janky skin graft machine if need be?"
Warily Jet nodded in response to all of Spike's queries.
Spike shrugged. "We'll be fine then. It's not like I'm letting him play with the blow torch. Anyway Faye has been trying to get him to understand but I felt like a hard lesson would be the best way to learn."
Jet was gaping at his explanation. "Wha...?"
Spike sighed again. He gave his full attention to Lupin. "Hey, whatcha got there, buddy?"
The toddler grinned up at his dad. "Bird!"
"Yeah, burn. What about it?"
"Hod!" Lupin told him excitedly.
"Yeah, hot." Spike turned back to Jet. "See? He gets it but he doesn't get it. There's a lot in life he's gonna have to learn to take our word for - I don't want him getting shot just to see how taking a bullet feels - so if we can get him to realize what we're saying is important and that something is dangerous..." He trailed off.
"I can't believe I'm saying this..." Jet began slowly. "But that does make a lot of sense. Is Faye on board with this?"
"Mmhmm," Spike nodded, his focus back on the toddler toying with the lighter as he tried to figure out how to make it work the way his parents did. "She didn't want to watch him hurt himself though. Says she gets enough of that from me. Which, sure, was true enough before but I haven't gotten seriously hurt - at least not intentionally - in a long time!"
"Oh Spike-o," It was Jet's turn to sigh.
There was a click and then a shriek of joy from Lupin who fumbled the lighter when it unexpectedly worked and surprised him. The flame died as soon as he dropped the lighter on the ground in shock, but no sooner had it hit the floor than he was grabbing for it again with his pudgy baby hands. Jet and Spike exchanged a nervous look. Lupin was still far too curious about the device but then again he hadn't managed to touch the flame itself yet.
"Bet he doesn't cry when he finally gets burnt," Spike said casually.
Jet grunted. "You mean actual tears?"
Spike nodded. "He's never been much of a crier. Noisy, sure, but tears? Hardly ever."
"That's true. You both lucked out with this one - not that I'm too familiar with how babies operate but I expected more waterworks. Funny how happy he turned out when you're both such miserable assholes."
"Like hell we still are!"
Another click. And then... "Ahh! Dada! Hod! Hod!" Lupin had dropped the lighter again but he'd clearly managed to touch the flame first. He was wide eyed, no tears, staring back and forth between the device on the floor and one of his hands which didn't look badly burnt but had been lightly singed.
"Oh kiddo, c'mere," Spike held his arms out and Lupin got up to toddle to his father. "What'd you learn, little man? Your mom was right, hey? Dangerous."
The toddler nodded sadly and stuck his burnt fingers - actually, his entire little fist - into his mouth. He turned his sad eyes on Jet, whose heart broke at the sight.
"I'll go get the cream," Jet choked out, just to escape those puppy dog eyes.
"Thanks, Jet," Spike called after him. He looked at his son. "I should've bet he'd be the one to cry," He told the kid with a chuckle.
I dont think id ever be a good mother
Id try but still fuck up
A lot of people around me are having kids and every day it becomes more apparent that hitting your children to punish them is insane because literally everything can be a horrible punishment in their eyes if you frame it as such.
Like, one family makes their toddler sit on the stairs for three minutes when he hits his brother or whatever. The stairs are well lit and he can see his family the whole time, he’s just not allowed to get up and leave the stairs or the timer starts over. He fucking hates it just because it’s framed as a punishment.
Another family use a baseball cap. It’s just a plain blue cap with nothing on it. When their toddler needs discipline he gets a timeout on a chair and has to put the cap on. When they’re out and about he just has to wear the cap but it gets the same reaction. Nobody around them can tell he’s being punished because it’s in no way an embarrassing cap, but HE knows and just the threat of having to wear it is enough.
And there isn’t the same contempt afterwards I’ve seen with kids whose parents hit them. One time the kid swung a stick at my dog, his mother immediately made him sit on the stairs, he screamed but stayed put, then he came over to my dog and gently said “Sorry Ellie” and went back to playing like nothing happened, but this time without swinging sticks at the nearby animals.
I parent differently from the norm, and I have been judged repeatedly because of it.
I parent differently from the norm, and I have been judged repeatedly because of it. My Parenting style has been talked about since I became a parent, it is very interesting that my girls are amazing, while the majority of my shit talkers messed their kids up! I feel for their children.
Needless to say, I parent my children in a way that many people don't understand. Throughout my life, I've often been labeled a bad mother. Let me set the record straight: I am an exceptional mother. I am blessed with amazing children whom I choose to parent differently from the norm. I haven't broken my children, (like how horses are broken) as is often the conventional approach, simply because it's easier. I'm referring to fear-based parenting—where commands are issued without explanation, where a child's beliefs are overshadowed by our own, where discussions are absent because a child's understanding is dismissed. If you didn't raise your children in this manner, then my words shouldn't sting. However, I believe many of you are familiar with individuals who subscribe to such parenting practices.
Girls are often conditioned to conform to societal expectations, while boys are pressured to adhere to a predetermined notion of masculinity. Neither are encouraged to embrace their true selves. I've raised my children to think independently and to comprehend that every action carries consequences. For instance, I've explained that while they technically could take that cookie, there are repercussions—such as a timeout or being deprived of further treats. They understand that their decisions have outcomes, rather than facing admonishment or physical punishment. Though I have resorted to spanking in extreme cases, it's never been my default approach. Instead, I've transformed every situation into a learning opportunity, engaging them in conversations as equals. I've validated their emotions and viewpoints, even when they weren't ideal, and provided alternative perspectives. I've fostered an environment of open communication and honesty, discouraging self-deprecation and uplifting them through praise.
As a result, I've raised daughters who possess a strong sense of self-worth, unafraid to voice their opinions. They won't succumb to the first boy who compliments them because they already know their intrinsic beauty. My daughters are resilient because I refused to break their spirits; they're assertive because I've continually nurtured their personal development, recognizing that self-growth is an ongoing journey. While I may still worry about them when it comes to dating—because what mother wouldn't—I take solace in knowing they're equipped to navigate relationships with strength and conviction. I can't help but feel sorry for any young man who underestimates their resolve.
When you came out and everyone is being like 'you are too young to know anything' Mrs. I am more mature than an old lady. I'm in a fucking depression and nobody fucking knows. I've stopped crying because I keep everything for myself because somebody will yell at me for no fucking reason. I'm being bullied and I say I'm fine even if I have panic attack or crying inside or fucking hungry. When I do something and then regret it I just grab my charger and //// myself. No one believes that I have ADHD or Autism and nobody believes me that I'm in love with a beautiful genderless person with a big heart to except my odds. If that's not enough maturity then go fuck yourself!
After having the same tumblr account since I was about 14, I decided it was time to completely delete it and stop doom scrolling for hours on end.
I lasted about a month and I am back, new blog, same content.
Welcome to what happens when 90’s kids have kids.
My six year old learned today that a spoonful of peanut butter cures hiccups.
Now he's running over to me every 20 minutes, "I have hiccups! Can I have some peanut butter?" (Less eloquently, but you get it.)
And like.... Smol child, you don't have hiccups. But you're hilarious and adorable so have a spoonful of jif, idgaf lol
If anyone wonders what it's like to be a parent in 2024, I just had a special needs van driver tell me and my disabled 6 year old to "hurry the fuck up" getting him on the bus because he got excited/distracted by a fallen leaf in our yard for like 0.5 seconds.
Had a meeting with my kid's school today.
It was decided that he would be driven to and from school by us for the time being because of behavioral issues related to being on the van.
We went to pick him up a few hours later.
He wasn't there.
They put him on the van despite us telling them that we'd start picking him up today.
The van was waiting when we got home. I might have flipped off the driver out of frustration.
I was big mad. I'm big mad.