Makeshift Bandages / Suppressed Suffering / I'm Fine (I Dont Need You To Help Me, I Can Handle Things

makeshift bandages / suppressed suffering / I'm fine (I don’t need you to help me, I can handle things myself)

The sweater worked well as a makeshift bandage - the rich red color hid any blood that seeped out. It wasn't the only reason she wore it but it had certainly been useful as a tourniquet a few times since her revival.

The fabric chafed at the burns on her back but it was a better alternative than having those scorch marks visible to onlookers or exposed to the pollen-thick air of the Venusian city she was trying to escape.

Her hips and lower back still felt like they were on fire. She didn't want to get back to the Bebop and have to see in the mirror exactly what her skin looked like. If the pain was this bad, the flesh was no doubt beyond blistered.

Angrily drawing in a deep breath, hastily blinking back the tears that threatened, she tried to push all of the agony out of her mind. Suppress the suffering. Deny the vulnerability.

Judging by the carefully blank expression on Spike's face after he gave her a once over when she reached the ship… her efforts were not exactly succeeding. Then again, he was fairly perceptive and quite used to seeing her sweater looped over her arms and hanging loose, not knotted tightly across her waist.

He'd been gone on a different bounty when she'd left to tackle hers. Nothing unusual about that - they didn't team up often on small fries. Hell, they didn't often team up on high-dollar bounties either. Competition was a healthy thing, after all.

But maybe if he'd been there she wouldn't have been caught so close to the inferno as the building went up taking her measly bounty head with it.

Furious for the loss of cash as well as the sting of her overheated backside, she stalked down the hall towards the bathroom. Spike didn't bother trying to hide the sounds of his footsteps as he followed in her wake. For a bit she was able to pretend that he was simply headed to the couch for a nap but when he bypassed that comfortable piece of furniture his intent became clear.

Her temper flared.

"I'm fine." A lie. "I don't need you to help me. I can handle things myself."

He made a thoughtful noise. "Maybe I'm just trying to take a shower."

She snorted, stepping into the bathroom and attempted to shut the door in his face. A round-toed shoe blocked her effort. Giving up, she turned her back on him and began to gingerly peel her sweater from her body. Her jaw ached from how hard she had to clench her teeth to keep from whimpering at the surge of pain from tearing at the scabs that had formed in the time it took her to get back to the ship. She kept her eyes screwed shut to avoid crying.

"I'll give you some privacy to rinse off." Spike spoke from somewhere behind her. "Jet fixed that skin graft device. I'll track that down for ya." He was gone before she even had time to turn around.

Angels Like You

“Mr. Spike referred to you both as fairies but that isn’t right.” Meifa told Faye helpfully as she teetered from her toes to her heels and back again on the deck of the ship. “You were guardian angels today. Fairies can’t fight in space like that - and anyway the seven dwarves weren’t bad guys either. Mr. Spike doesn’t really know much about fairytales I think. But you both protected me. Made sure I could see my father one more time even if I didn’t… well. Maybe just the fact that I came assured him of my love. That he wanted me here, that tells me of his. Actions speak louder than words, you know. And your actions were selfless yet put you in danger. So, thank you. For being my guardian angels today.”

Faye gaped at the girl. “Uhhh… you’re welcome?”

She flashed Faye a bright grin. “Please be sure to tell Mr. Spike thank you as well. Your energies together are very strong - you make a good pair!”

“Hey now, we aren’t -”

“Oh! My mama is here! Thanks again, Miss Faye!” Meifa darted off down the flight deck and hopped over to the dock where a tall woman was walking with purpose towards the Bebop.

Shaking her head in confusion, Faye sparked up a cigarette and turned her gaze skyward. The past two days had been interesting if not exactly productive from a financial standpoint. It had been amusing to see Jet so off balance and embarrassed even though he obviously wasn’t courting that kid. Teasing that man was one of the simple joys in her life and one she shared with Spike and Ed for that matter. It was important to never take oneself too seriously, after all, and having friends poke fun at you or make ridiculous insinuations was a good way to keep your ego at a manageable level.

The stomp of Jet’s boots and the quieter step of Spike’s shoes reached her ears as the guys made their way out to stand beside her. Spike reached over to pluck her cigarette out of her lips and she made a face at him for the audacity of that move.

“Her mom didn’t freak out on you?” Jet inquired, looking at the retreating figures of the two women as they left the harbor.

Faye snorted. “Her mom didn’t even step foot on the ship. You were being paranoid for no reason.”

“Humph.” Jet crossed his arms irritably. “She probably remembers me from back when Pao was an informant. No need to see how she feels about his past acquaintances when she obviously wasn’t a fan of the man himself. And we had her kid! What kind of mother wouldn’t assault a man who’d brought her kid off planet?”

“Sheesh, calm down. She’s back on solid ground and with her mom. I don’t even think her mom knows she left the atmosphere. I mean, you found her in a graveyard right? What kind of mother lets her preteen run around cemeteries and disappear for more than a day?”

“Anyway, mission accomplished right?” Spike inserted then. Faye grabbed for her cigarette and he backed away grinning.

“For whatever it was worth, yeah I suppose so.” Jet sighed. “You don’t have to keep smoking out here anymore now that she’s gone.”

Faye stopped chasing Spike for her cigarette and looked back at Jet. “Really? So you’re fine with us smoking around Ed then? She’s just as young as Meifa…”

He shrugged. “Meifa was coughing! Ed has never seemed to care or notice. Who knows what the radiation on Earth does to kids growing up there. She might have some sort of immunity.”

“Yeah right,” Spike muttered. He crushed the remainder of the cigarette under his shoe and then pulled out his own pack and lit two. Faye glared at him until he offered her one with a smirk.

“It’s not so bad smoking outside,” Faye threw out then. “Fresh air, well… I mean… anyway, the view is nice. If we’re planetside I figure I’ll probably just step out. Maybe Ed cares and maybe she doesn’t but now that I’ve had a chance to think about it… it’s not that hard to be considerate of someone else’s lungs.”

Spike tilted his head back to gaze up at the sky. “Yeah, Faye’s right. Smoking outside has benefits for sure. Not saying I’m not gonna smoke inside still - no way I’m planet hopping without a cigarette or two in the transit - but this… this isn’t bad.”

Jet stared at the pair of them and then shook his head and took out his own cigarettes. “All right, all right. If there’s air, we’re out there. That’s a compromise I’m comfortable making.”

“Meifa called us guardian angels, you know.” Faye told them then. “It’s not so hard doing something for someone else, I guess. She’s gone but we can still look out for Ed at least.”

Spike chuckled. “Guardian angels, eh? With angels like us, who needs feng shui to stay on course in life?”

“Fung-shooey?” Faye said then.

“Fang-schway,” Jet pitched in.

“What a bunch of phooey.”

*

I don't personally know enough about Feng Shui to have much of an opinion on it one way or another but I do know that folks who do were not especially impressed with the episode Boogie Woogie Feng Shui ...anyway I figure the Bebop crew would likewise be not entirely sold on the matter.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

“Hey. You okay?”

Faye frowned at the metal beneath her. What kind of a stupid question was that? Her face was wet from tears. There were bullet holes in the ship from firing off her gun. Her ears were still ringing from that and a small part of her was grateful that nothing had ricocheted back at her.

“Fucking fine.” She muttered when it seemed like Jet was just going to loom over her until he got a response.

“Sure don’t seem like it.” He replied.

Faye snapped her head back to glare up at him. “Yeah? You think? No fucking shit! No, I’m not okay! Are you okay? Is Spike -” She cut herself off abruptly.

“No. I’m not okay.” Jet told her plainly. “To be frank, it’s likely we won’t be okay again. This ship is a goddamn ghost town and I’m beginning to think it’s more trouble than it’s worth to get it airborne again. Maybe he did us a favor by bringing their sights on us. Maybe they’ll come back to finish the job after he bites it.”

She gaped at him, horrified. “What the fuck, Jet?”

“Well? Should I be more optimistic? This place is a graveyard of dreams. It never got us anywhere good. It just let us live in limbo like some kind of purgatory between heaven and hell.”

“So what then? You just gonna leave it here to rust? Take your ship and leave me too?”

He huffed and then moved to slide down the wall and sit next to her. A bottle she hadn’t registered before appeared in his hands as an offering to her.

“No. No, of course not. This thing might be grounded for now but she’ll fly again. She’s the only home I have. I’m not just gonna abandon her because everyone else left. Ghosts aren’t great company but it’s still better than being alone.”

She wondered if he had ever truly been alone in life. Jet struck her as the type of person to always have someone around. Probably he wasn’t used to the idea of being solely on his own. It wasn’t a bad way to live, truly. But she was kind of tired of rhapsodizing solitude. It was a lonely type of life even if it meant you controlled every aspect of it.

“I’m not okay.” She reiterated quietly. “But… I promise I’m not gonna leave. Shit, I don’t have anywhere else to go either. So don’t go thinking it’s just ghosts that will haunt this place with you. I’ll be here too.” She took a pull on the bottle and then passed it back. “Anyway the kid and dog aren’t dead, you know. Hell, she’ll probably bring the ship crashing down to Earth the next time we’re in the vicinity. Don’t know what we’ll tell her about Spike but… well, what is there to say anyway.”

“It’s gonna be a while before the ship is ready to reach the stars again.” Jet told her then. “If nothing else, it’ll give us time to think of an answer for her inevitable questions.”

“Hell, maybe it’ll give that lunkhead ample time to make his way back here.” She dared to hope.

Jet shrugged and took a drink. “Either he lives or he dies… either they come to snuff us, or we get to kick around the galaxy for God only knows how many more years. Nothing is ever certain… all we can do is try to keep on keeping on I suppose.”

“It’s better than the alternative,” she offered. “Anyway I can’t imagine myself doing some other job to be honest. Can you see me at a customer service desk? Or waiting tables?” She laughed.

He gave her back the bottle and chuckled as well. “No, you’d assault someone for being a jerk and get fired the first day.”

“Bounty hunting it is then. At least working for myself means I’ll never lose this job.”

“Maybe working together we’ll even stand half a chance of saving cash someday.”

She snorted. “Working together? Fat chance. I’m gonna compete with you for each and every bounty we hear about. What’s the point if we’re not having fun?”

Jet sighed. “Shit, Faye. I thought life was gonna get easier with that trouble maker off the ship. You’re just looking to fill his shoes though aren’t you?”

She grinned wickedly. “Jet, c’mon now, you’ve known me for how long? I don’t need to fill anyone’s shoes - I’m trouble enough as it is on my own. He was the one trying to rival me if anything. Now are you gonna bust out some smokes or what? I’m all out and we both know even if he comes waltzing back in here he’s not gonna have shit on him.”

“All right but if you ransack his room later and find a carton you’d better split that with me.”

“Hmm. I’ll think about it.”

animal trap / captivity / no one will find you (all the lights going dark and my hope’s destroyed)

Pain.

Confusion.

The horror of being alone when once there were many.

Where were his siblings? The absence of their presence was felt in the cold air pressing in on his sides where once other squirming bodies squished him in from not just the sides but often above and below as well.

Where was his mother? Her soothing scent, the warmth of her fur, the reassuring noises of her body that had loomed so large in his existence for the entirety of it thus far.

The solitude was terrifying. Never had he been apart from his family. Even after his eyes had begun to open and he and his siblings started to tumble around one another in games of play, he'd never been out of sight of the rest of his family. Barking, licking, biting, wiggling, jumping, learning how to walk on wobbly legs... drinking milk from mother until they all passed out into the most blissful and comfortable slumber.

There had come a day when mother had decided they were old enough to venture out of the cardboard box that had been their home since his birth. She led them from the torn up newspaper bedding and it had been exciting yet scary. The sky was so far overhead it wasn't even a concept he grasped. The ground underfoot was laden with smells and so too was each and every building they passed! And then people! Giants roamed the streets and took no care of where they put their hard-bottom paws. He yipped when his paw was nearly stepped on but the human paid no mind. He hadn't realized how good they had it at the time. Being beneath notice was better than being observed, as he was beginning to realize.

There had been some sort of cage... his memories of this were vague. Distress was the most prominent part. An animal trap that he had not known was a trap at all. But how would he have known? How did he know that now? His head ached with all the thoughts racing through it. Connections being made, pathways being forged.

A whine escaped him. He hadn't even known to enjoy freedom before it was taken away and replaced with captivity.

The room he was in now stank of chemicals and other scientific human scents. He was one of the few things that smelled natural. There were a handful of other creatures. Things he could not have put a name to as a puppy but which he could now identify on sight and scent and sound. A giant tank filled with water held an octopus. A cage near the ceiling with a faux branch within it held a squirrel and he instinctively wanted to chase the frightened animal as it huddled near the top of its enclosure. Other cages, other creatures. A pig, a raven, a raccoon, several rats, a parrot that kept saying "fuck you" to the men and women in lab coats as they came into the room and performed tests. Even a cow, or a calf at any rate.

None of the other animals seemed any more certain of what was going on than he was. None of them seemed at all content with their current lot in life.

He whined unhappily again and one of the lab techs kicked at his cage in irritation. "Shaddup, mutt! No one wants to hear you! You pathetic little-"

"Don't be cruel, Elon. And you're wrong anyway - hearing him speak would be incredible! Just imagine if the process works... if we're able to figure out how to communicate with these creatures..." Another white-coat individual spoke then.

A snort from the first. "Oh yeah I'm sure they'll have amazing things to say. We'll be lucky if they don't go mad like the last batch. At least the group beforehand didn't go into a frenzy - I'm still not positive it was wise to just release those dumb bastards but I guess why keep beating a dead horse... just a whole herd of ignoramuses."

A third scientist chimed in. "Wouldn't their being able to talk get us in trouble? I can't imagine they're happy here. They don't look happy..."

The first laughed darkly. "You're right about that. But we don't have to worry here. Hear me, all you ugly beasties? No one will find you here! You're our playthings to study. You're all supposedly some of the most clever creatures in existence... well, we'll see about that."

"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" Screamed the parrot.

The second scientist sighed. "We had the most hope for you, Sam. Your species can already speak words if taught."

The first rattled the cage of the parrot while baring his teeth in a parody of a grin. "Keep it up, you bird bastard. We don't need you alive - we can glean all sorts of information from dissecting your brain."

And so the days went. Only now he was able to easily determine the passage of time. He didn't need to rely on scents fading over time, he was somehow more attuned with the numbers on the clock in the room. And that wasn't the only thing he was able to comprehend. They put screens in front of him and played videos and then put devices in front of him and let him work out what they did - if anything. He was able to match shapes and could recall images he'd seen on the display and more. He watched the raven and the cow play chess. He watched the rats work their way through complicated mazes. He watched the pig demonstrate its memory of how a mirror functioned. He watched the raccoon use its clever hands to access the computer system when the humans weren't paying close enough attention.

He watched the parrot get its neck broken by the cruelest of the scientists, though the others didn't seem perturbed by its sad fate.

That night he felt fear coiling in his belly. The parrot had been the most outspoken of them all but his courage in the face of the antics of the humans had buoyed his spirits that entire time.

all the lights going dark and my hope’s destroyed

Their lives were forfeit if they couldn't - or wouldn't - produce the results the human scientists demanded. They might be destined for death regardless. They could not possibly stay here. But how to escape? He had no idea where they were... how many rooms were outside of theirs? How many levels to this building? Perhaps the racoon knew... it had had a chance to study the schematics of where they were. And the door... could it hold up to a solid kick from the cow?

He felt a brief pang of sorrow for the octopus. Even if the rest of them were able to break free, there would be no hope for it.

Unless outside forces were involved. Individuals with the proper gear to transport an aquatic creature to its rightful home.

They didn't have much of a chance stuck in this room by themselves, trapped within their cages except when they were taken out for testing and injections. But perhaps the racoon could get word out somehow. If some animal rights agency learned of these atrocities...

He got to his paws in the darkness and barked. Some of the others might be sleeping but he knew the racoon kept the nocturnal hours of his species. It was time to see exactly what the other animal knew and could possibly do. Their captivity was going to come to an end, on their terms.

Not Over You

Julia…

Hearing that name was like touching a live wire.

Jet tried to convince him that it was a common woman’s name… true enough, but Spike felt in his gut that this was his Julia. A connection to the woman he’d fallen for hard and fast when he’d been nothing but a syndicate lackey, a beast valued for the damage it could inflict on the targets it was set upon. She had seen more to him than the destruction he could cause. She had seen a heart beating within his chest, something he’d denied possessing for years and years.

She had been the start of his undoing.

He’d been trying to convince himself since he left Tharsis that he was over her. What other choice did he have? She had left him hanging in the wind, forced to flee on his own. Her fate was entirely in question. Why hadn’t she met him? Why had she abandoned him?

It had hurt more than he thought possible.

And now suddenly a chance to find out what happened. A chance to rediscover a life with her.

The odds of her using her own name as a code seemed astronomically high. It was more than likely that this had nothing to do with her at all. But his heart was beating a mile a minute, his pulse racing, and he knew he couldn’t sit on his ass and do nothing while she slipped through his fingers here on this frigid moon.

Memories of their time together brought him a measure of warmth as he threw on the first jacket he could find in Faye’s shambles of a room. His own jacket had been missing and he couldn’t be bothered to look for it, there was no time to waste. Besides, if Faye was gone then she wouldn’t care about some coat she’d left in her own haste to leave.

There was nothing for it. He had to go and go now. Jet was putting up a fuss but Spike knew it was all bluster. The other man was angry about Faye being gone and about Spike bailing now too. Spike knew how much their presence mattered despite anything Jet might say otherwise. He was a man who formed attachments and cared about others even when he shouldn’t.

But Ed was still on board, and Ein too for that matter. Sure, Faye might never come back - and good luck finding her if she was trying to hide - and Spike himself didn’t know what the future held… but Jet wouldn’t be alone even so. That thought gave Spike all the assurance he needed that his own departure wouldn’t break the other man.

He had to follow up on this lead. Had to see where this led. He had no choice - frustrating as it was, he was just not over her.

flare / water inhalation / just hold on (feed me poison, fill me ‘til I drown.)

The flare was merely a distraction, and one that Jet felt doubly incensed about falling prey to given the fact that he'd been blinded and blindsided in a situation many years before. Of course, everyone with sight was vulnerable to bright lights so it's not like this bounty had gleaned a weakness about Jet specifically. The fact that his arm was already artificial was surprisingly a saving grace even if the flare going off at his elbow had unhinged the joint to a point where his arm was entirely useless. If he'd been flesh and bone there, he would have been a mess of blood and pain writhing on the dock. As it was, he was furious as he tried to blindly fight back with his good arm. The bounty had the benefit of sight and all his limbs working, so Jet wasn't entirely caught off guard by the way a strong blow landed across his jaw and knocked him reeling backwards.

Reeling backwards and suddenly without anything under his feet.

The water closed overhead as he dropped into the sea with flailing limbs - all the ones that could currently flail, that is - and tried to close his mouth as soon as he registered the fact that he was being submerged. His brain had caught up to the situation a moment or two after his body was embroiled in it, though, and that meant that he sucked in a hearty surge of sea water in his hasty attempt at drawing a breath of air before going completely under.

Normally he was a strong swimmer, but normally he had the full use of both limbs even if one wasn't real. Normally he wasn't disoriented and unsure if he was right side up or upside down. Where was the surface? Where were the pilings of the dock? How long could he flounder here in the dark depths while simultaneously choking from water inhalation?

His vision, only barely returned and blurry, was beginning to dim by the time he felt something grabbing hold of the back of his collar and yanking him. It could be a siren dragging him soundlessly out to sea for all he cared at that point. Feed me poison 'til I drown... Water, one of the cornerstones of life itself, could be just as lethal as anything else.

A voice - a man's voice, though he supposed sirens could be male too - was shouting at him as they broached the choppy surface of the harbor.

"Just hold on!"

Hold on to what? Hold on to who? Maybe the man was talking to himself. Jet coughed and choked and spluttered and waited to die.

And then there was someone above him - he was ashore somehow - and a bedraggled toothpick of a man in dark waterlogged clothing was repeatedly bringing his fists down on Jet's chest. What was this? What was happening?

Forcibly, he was rolled onto his side and the man smacked his back with just as much ferocity as he had banged on his chest. Jet would have bruises on both side for days if he survived this assault. And then suddenly he was vomiting forcibly. What felt like liter after liter of salty water poured from his mouth and nose. He spewed and gagged and eventually drew a ragged breath and then the man was laughing. Hell, Jet felt like laughing too.

"You put up a good fight, old man," The man said. "Even though I saved your life... I'll still split that bounty with you. Seventy-thirty, in my favor. I'm the one who bagged him after he knocked you in the drink after all. Team effort though, you tired him out initially. He was easy pickings after that. Good thing too, or I might not have gotten to you in time."

"You... little... braggart..." Jet rasped. "Fifty-fifty." He countered then, coughing weakly.

The man grinned down at him and pushed a hand through his sopping wet green hair to get some of the curls plastered across his forehead out of his eyes.

"Sixty-forty for this one. Fifty-fifty for whatever ones come next?"

Jet laughed then, painful as it was with his lungs still trying to recover. "All right... stringbean... got yourself a deal."

The man chuckled too. "Better than that. Got myself a partner. Name's Spike by the way. Now shut up and concentrate on remembering how to breathe, old timer."